Mexican Scientists Create Scented Jesus Body Spray in a Bottle

Scientists from Mexico have somehow figured out how to put Jesus into a spray can. Just like axe body spray, they claim you can now spray the essence of Jesus all over your body and somehow you get 20% more free too.

Here’s what liberals at Huffington report on it:
-Jesus is in a can
-Jesus is bleeding
-There’s now 20% more Jesus.

Here’s what we don’t know:
-How Jesus got in the can.
-Whether or not Jesus appears when you spray this.
-Who handles Jesus’s PR. This seems like a horrible misstep in what seemed to be an otherwise promising career.

Whatever this is, it’s hilarious. A google translation of “Aerosol de Poder Atraccion” yields “Attraction Power Spray.” So there’s a chance that Jesus is changing the body-spray game. Hey Axe! Jesus is here, and the ladies can’t resist a man walking on water and smelling good. Check and mate. (via Lizz Winstead)

I’m really disappointed with Mexico. Their old women always run all around try to pretend to be good Catholics, crying and flailing about with claims that they have seen the face of Jesus in some toast or perhaps on a holy wall of their church. But now we see what these veil people are all about, capital corruption!

Have they no shame? Is it not enough that they bake all sorts of drugs then sneak them here to America to trick our children into buying and taking? Is it not enough that they come into our country and use up free Obamacare while underpricing our unskilled workers in jobs meant for lower class Americans?

Mexico is just going over the line with this and expect next week that they will be struck down for their sins! Fire. Plague. No jobs and death! I’d feel sorry for them but this is too much and too far, so I’ll just shake my head in knowing disgust because they have brought wrath upon their sin-scented lands once again.