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Russians Send Secret Spaceship to Apophis Asteroid
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Alert! The cold Russians have beat us again! The cold Russians have beat us again!
There are now confirmed reports that the Soviets have developed space technology which allows their communist cosmonauts to travel deep into space. They are preparing to launch one of their star destroyer crafts to land upon an asteroid!
This jump in technology means America is still at risk. President George W. Bush planned for us to have powerful ships that could reach our moon and then put our flag on Mars to claim it too, but Obama shut it down!
Obama wants us to have healthcare and give billions of dollars to terrorists instead. Now the Russians are far ahead and sending secret ships to asteroids. I’m scared and you are too!
From the Associated Press:
MOSCOW – Russia’s space chief said Wednesday his agency will send a spacecraft to a large asteroid to knock it off its path and show off its power to the United States.
Anatoly Perminov said the space agency will hold a meeting soon to assess a mission to Apophis, telling Golos Rossii radio that it would denounce but invite the European Space Agency, the Chinese space agency and others to join the project once it is finalized.
When the 270-meter (885-foot) asteroid was first discovered in 2004, astronomers estimated the chances of it smashing into Earth in its first flyby in 2029 were as high as 1-in-37.
Further studies ruled out the possibility of an impact in 2029, when the asteroid is expected to come no closer than 18,300 miles (29,450 kilometers) above Earth’s surface, but they indicated a small possibility of a hit on subsequent encounters.
In October, NASA lowered the odds that Apophis could hit Earth in 2036 from a 1-in-45,000 as earlier thought to a 1-in-250,000 chance after researchers recalculated the asteroid’s path. It said another close encounter in 2068 will involve a 1-in-330,000 chance of impact.
Scientists have long theorized about asteroid deflection strategies. Some have proposed sending a probe to circle around a dangerous asteroid to gradually change its trajectory. Others suggested sending a spacecraft to collide with the asteroid and alter its momentum, or using nuclear weapons to hit it.
Without mentioning NASA findings, Perminov said that he heard from a scientist that Apophis is getting closer and may hit the planet. “I don’t remember exactly, but it seems to me it could hit the Earth by 2032,” Perminov said.
He wouldn’t disclose any details of the project, saying they still need to be worked out. But he said the mission wouldn’t require any nuclear explosions.
Hollywood action films “Deep Impact” and “Armageddon,” have featured space missions scrambling to avoid catastrophic collisions. In both movies space crews use nuclear bombs in an attempt to prevent collisions.
“Calculations show that it’s possible to create a special purpose spacecraft within the time we have, which would help avoid the collision without destroying it (the asteroid) and without detonating any nuclear charges,” Perminov said. “The threat of collision can be averted.”
“People’s lives are at stake. We should pay several hundred million dollars and build a system that would allow to prevent a collision, rather than sit and wait for it to happen and kill hundreds of thousands of people,” he added.
Boris Shustov, the director of the Institute of Astronomy under the Russian Academy of Sciences, hailed Perminov’s statement as a signal that officials had come to recognize the danger posed by asteroids.
“Apophis is just a symbolic example, there are many other dangerous objects we know little about,” he said, according to RIA Novosti news agency.
Russian dogs! If they can send their ships all the way to the Apophis death asteroid, just imagine how fast they can send their Tesla coil troopers to our country!
They will drop from their planes into our cities and homes, shocking everything in their path. No mercy. Just scorched Earth and nukes!
I knewed the Russians were up to no good! They have been to quiet and you just naever trust a damned Soviet commie Obama!
Nukes! Nukes! We must arm ourselves with as many nukes as possible and put them in orbit too. Forbid Russia to launch anything and just nuke them all before it is too late.
If we let them launch these vehicles Earth is doomed. No communist Expansion into space it’s all a veil lie to give us death from above!
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1:42 pm
oh just shut up. you obviously know nothing at all about space or sience or anthing you just wrote about.
first of “I’m scared and you are too!” no i am not stop lieing to everyones face with such a blatant lie.
second the cold war ended.
third spaceships and planes aren’t the samething. so theire space technology would have very little effect on how fast they could send any troops(which they would also have no reason to do) anywhere.
fourth “Nukes! Nukes! We must arm ourselves with as many nukes as possible and put them in orbit too.”
too? what the hell are you talking about? russia isn’t sending nukes into orbit and even if they were that’d serve no purpose since you can’t launch them from space( at least not by simply putting them into orbit. the only mention of nukes in the entire source was the use of nukes in MOVIES to make an asteroide NOT destroy earth
and finally you keep on wanting to decalre wars . i don’t care what you think russia china and japan and whatever else countries you have treathen have done nothing so if a war breaks out it was war started by america(not taht there’s any reason to fear that since the goverment or even common american is as retardet as you people)
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2:38 pm
The only part of truth in tyhe text is cold russians in sense is at this time of years in russia as much as canada and USA it’s winter and it’s actually COLD
Other wise the rest is Bullshit and most of the war supposedly declared by “terrorist” were declared by USA because they were “scared” of their world domination over other country
CHINA never attacked USA in his entire story the Only wars china did was against the nazi and his neighbour ( well mostly protecting their national border
On another note soviets doesnt existe anymore russia is a republic like USA most of them if not all of them are REAL christian
but it’s seems ABE in your word a TRUE christian is a Hateful coward who spit lie and propaganda to declare wars against everyone else you know that USA all alone is worth Nothing just Think of Vietnam the Canada was not here
and now in afghanistan canadian sacrifice their life for a war that not their
and seriously most northerner republican were scared of what bush did some of my friend even said why our troop is scattered all around the world why they don’t return home
I told her : because your governement AKA bush administration wanted more Oil and were greedy enough to start a wars for “national cause” my sensei ( teacher in japanese) were a national Guard
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10:31 pm
lol you idiot! QUOTE FAIL! First, no country on Earth has Star Destroyers. Second, just because someone is not American, it does not mean that they are evil. The English/French/Canadian/Spanish/Tibetan/Japanese(recently)/Chinese/Hatian/Brazillian/Puerto Rican/lots of other countries’ governments and people are not out to kill everyone who does not follow their ‘sect’ or murder Americans in their homes/any other place. They tolerate us just as we tolerate them, and we are on very good terms with most governments. You know nothing of science OR politics. You try to “advise” people on both of these on a regular basis. It is also a violation to put nuclear material in space, with the punishment being immediate embargos by every country in the UN, and no one wants that for their country. Also, this isn’t your country. And the word is Twitter. And you misspelled aleck. You are a retard who denounces technology, telling people to throw out their game consoles, tvs, and cell phones. You then prove yourself to be playing games on your game console and tv, as Tesla Troopers originate from Command and Conquer: Red Alert. Then, you suggest that we should send nukes (technology) into space (which requires technology). You fucking hypocritical retard. By the way, not one Russian is named Obama.
You say and I quote:
They have been to quiet and you just naever trust a damned Soviet commie Obama!
You misspell never. You misuse the word to. I am capable of trusting Soviets, Communists, and Barrack Obama. You aren’t, but you think George Bush is the reincarnation of Jesus, so I can’t really argue that you’re stupid any more, other than the fact that we already went to the moon, planted SEVERAL flags there, and the fact that a recession made the next moon landing next to impossible because of funding has nothing to do with Obama’s “incompetence”, which you have never proved.
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10:32 pm
Oh, and it isn’t “secret”. They announced it to the entire world.
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11:47 am
First of all, quit using the term, “commies”, because this makes you sound very uneducated. Second of all, I hope you are aware that NASA has poor funding and the United States is over 14. trillion USD dollars in debt. Instead of investing millions of dollars, we were addressed by another, concerned country, Russia. If I were you, I would be thankful that another country has taken actions to the issue, thus preventing several more millions of dollars from being added to our national debt. Have respect for another countries, because you are an example of a racist and politically dim-witted person, which contributes to the dislike towards America from foreign countries.
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7:09 pm
Oh no!
What’ll we do now??
Hey, I have an idea!
Why don’t we get Russia to renounce Communism, and then leave it to freeze?
Wait a second…
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8:29 am
I’d really like to think this is a joke, because the writing is just so ridiculous. I’m not even going to start. Soooo funny.
If the Russians can save us from this astroid, I’m behind them 100%. Hopefully you would be too, unless you’re advocating for the end of the world…?
Anyway. Thanks for the lulz.
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7:22 pm
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