The Chinese dragon has awoken and it yearns to bring war to America. As we speak billions of Chinese have awoken today with inexplicable rage and a desire to devour each and every American dead.
Fellow citizens, I am extremely terrified of Chinese people, but I am not racist. I know you feel the same way too.
As we speak, their leader prepares the make war dances of their vicious cultures. Just like they did before they attacked our young men on a day of infamy, the Chinese have pledged deathvows to their Buddhan idols and prepare to dive bomb our cities and buildings with whatever necessary to bring destruction, even theirselves.
The Chinese population numbers in the billions and Bill Clinton betrayed us by giving them our God ordained nuclear technology. Now they unveil their nukes and make threats.
Let us pray that the Chinese are struck down by God. We have the means to defeat these vile people in war just like last time, but it will come at great cost to our allies in between here and there. Obama is also in office and will betray us, just like Clinton.
Let us pray God keeps these menaces at bay until 2012, when we get another real man — maybe Jeb Bush — in office.