The popular web selling service eBay lit up this week with the listing of two new “voodoo” dolls that promise satanic pain and suffering to Christian leader The Reverend Dr. Pat Robertson and media personality Rush Limbaugh. The crude little creations, being offered by internet profiteer “johnnyvoodoo,” promise the winners complete ownership of the illustrious and empathetic souls of these two men. As expected, bidding amongst anonymous internet users is fierce.
The dolls were created as Haitians strenuously objected to some off the cuff comments made by both Rev. Robertson and Limbaugh in the aftermath of the horrific earthquake that struck their island nation and killed as many as 200,000 men, women and children. They are genuine artifacts of the Haitian culture of voodoo, a form of pagan worship that allows one to torture the soul of another through the use of dolls. The description claims that 100% of the money (expected to be in the thousands of dollars) will go to the Red Cross’s efforts in Haiti.
Pat Robertson’s Doll Description on eBay:
After an exclusive deal with devil, we are finally able to bring black magic into your very own home! The lucky winner of this auction will attain the soul of Televangelist PAT ROBERTSON in a handheld figurine comprised of the finest straw, cloth, and other organic natural materials!
Ever wanted to cause Pat Robertson a massive headache? give him back pain? jab him in the crotch? Of course you have! Well then BID NOW to own your very own pysical representation of the dark, dark soul of Pat Robertson.
Accessories included with the doll are Pat’s very own “HOLY” BIBLE and BAG OF MONEY taken from real Americans! WOW! (Click here to see it for yourself.)
The controversy erupted last week on an episode of the nationally syndicated religious program, The 700 Club. In recalling the tumultuous history of Haiti, the Reverend Dr. Pat Robertson mentioned an often-repeated tale from his youth about the connection between the advent of voodooism, the birth of their nation and Satan. The good Reverend had made this comment in the midst of a heartfelt plea for aid for the Christians of Haiti. Mr. Limbaugh’s doll was made in reaction to comments he stated on his show recently. Mr. Limbaugh, the highest rated and most adored personality on radio, correctly noted that President Barack Obama was too quick to politicize the Haitian disaster in a veiled attempt to pass Obamacare and other socialist programs.
Rush Limbaugh’s Doll Description on eBay:
We’ve made another deal with the devil (He makes great deals!) and this time captured the soul of popular radio personality and convicted felon RUSH LIMBAUGH, putting it into a voodoo doll that fits right in your pocket!
Ever wanted to cause Rush Limbaugh to lose his voice? Have him sprain an ankle? Come down with a rash in his bathing suit area? Of course you have!!! Well then BID NOW to own your very own physical representation of the cold, empty soul of Rush Limbaugh.
Accessories included with the doll are Rush’s very own MICROPHONE and PRESCRIPTION BOTTLE OF OXYCONTIN! WOW!!! (Click here to see it for yourself.)
In this time of tragedy, shouldn’t we open our hearts and show our love for the world? It is appalling to me that many of the left wing have tried to make political hay out of Dr. Robertson’s plea for help for Haiti. This is a global crisis and frothing at the mouth over something the beloved Reverend said is pointless and counterproductive. As the church recently stated, Robertson’s comments have been echoed by “countless scholars and religious figures over the centuries.” Any onlooker would needlessly agree that Dr. Robertson is a delightful old man, a sort of cute and cuddly grandpa that we should enjoy for the few years or months he has left on this Earth. The good Reverend is profoundly cherished by the Evangelical community for his wit and wisdom, his incredible business acumen and his willingness to speak the truth. He has shown so many preachers that television can truly profit the soul! His triumphs in the fast-paced religion industry were interpreted by Reverand Pat as the unmistakeable hand of God himself! His incredible business sense has led him to be a kingpin not only of television, but in a story book fantasy come true, in glorious Liberian gold mines as well!
On a personal note, I am an eBay Powerseller and I find throwing politics into the free marketplace of eBay disingenuous, disruptive and immoral. It is the crude, selfish seller who seeks a quick profit from the political theater. Instead, eBay is meant to be a place where people can come together as a community to share love and kindness, whether it be over coin collecting, rare antique bottles or great deals on gently used clothing. EBay is a thriving and wonderful environment for likeminded amateurs and experts, not some place to scam a few bucks to validate your radical agendas. This johnnyvoodoo is hurting not only himself, but the rest of us who seek daily refuge in the beauteous columns of eBay glory, the clickability of our deepest desires, the pumping thrill of an auction countdown, the spontaneous release of victory! Victory!