How to Handle a Cheating Wife
Hey, shameful?
I have a question, what should I do about my wife?
She`s been cheating on me for sometime now.
~Tim
Hi Tim,
I decided to respond to your question in an independent article rather than in the comment thread, for this is an important issue that should be addressed and not lost in the bowls of Christwire`s comments.
Ah yes, Tim, the age old question of how to handle a women who has gotten out of line. Some of these cooter-flavored liberals who constantly barrage our comment feedbacks would probably tell you that you should talk things over with her, try and work it out, and if it looks like things just are not going to work out, look into getting a divorce.
To which I spit on them.
You are married, so unless you would like to spend an eternity having your sole raped by the minions of Satan, you are stuck with the wench until either you or she dies. Preferably the latter so that you can find yourself a good woman who understands her place in the world.
Assuming you do not want to muck around with hiring someone to kill her (for which I would have the upmost sympathy), and you want to stay married to the harlot (perhaps her parents are quite wealthy and you want to wait until she has inherited there trust fund), I would suggest the following.
First off, give her a couple good, healthy slaps so that, like a dog, she knows what will happen when she misbehaves. Be careful not to hit her hard enough to leave any marks, not because that is wrong but because then she will be able to claim that you are abusing her and Hussein Obama will give her Health Insurance.
Then one morning slip some strong sedatives into her morning coffee. Something along the lines of elephant tranquilizer should do the trick. Go down to your local ACE Hardware store and purchase a hole lot of duck tape, some good strong rope, some of those nice heavy duty chains, and some super rubber cement.
When you get back home, drag the flussy into your basement (or attic, walk-in freezer, or wherever that will be most secluded, dark and dank), tie her up nice and tight with the rope, take the chains and secure her to something sturdy, cover her mouth with duck tape, and seal her forbidden zone shut with the rubber cement.
Leave her there for about a week. Every other day or so, if the tart behaves, you can reward her good behavior by bringing her a dog biscuit and a small bowl of water, but make it clear that if she acts up you will get the vacuum cleaner and take her snack back.
Should you have children and they inquire to the absence of your wife, simply tell them that mommy was a naughty little slut and that she is getting a small taste of what awaits her in the after-life. Instilling a sense of morality and fidelity in children is always important.
Most importantly, once you have removed the jezebel from “time out,” make sure that you always use protection when invoking your weekly marital relations privileges, for you do not want to take the chance of contracting any STIs from the filthy slattern.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: shameful_truth
I look forward to laughing with the Angels, Cherubs, Jesus, and Jerry Fallwell as we look down at the Heathens, roasting in Hell, while we sit back sipping martinis, listening to St. Michael play on his harp while we debate our favorite episodes of 7th Heaven.
7:21 pm
shameful you do know what you said is some of the most revolting thing i have ever seen that’s just pure evil to the core you would end up being in prision for that you know and arn’t you suppose to be busy writing a review? chop chop
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7:28 pm
So what, because of your stupid little contest I now cannot take five minutes to answer my fanmail?
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7:33 pm
why are you still talking listen to all the tracks and finish the review im half done and i must say its not all that bad nice easy listening music but ill post my review on here for everyone to see for when i kick your arse all over the floor so get to it and post me a true review and no bias what so ever then maybe i might so some respect for you which i find hard to believe that im saying it but do this fair if you have it done now post the fucker up
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7:42 pm
Listen, you little fiddle wiggler, I will get to your precious little contest when I get to it. I know you may not realize this, but there are some people in the world who have jobs, and I am currently at mine, where my computer does not have speakers. I will write your silly little review when I write it, so how about you get your panties out of a knot and go blow your boyfriend for a minute, okay?
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7:52 pm
im sorry to dissapoint you but i am not gay i am happyly going out with my girlfriend and we are very much in love and she will be blowing me off later thankyou very much but i gave you a deadline to do a review in and post it up on the site within 2 days otherwise you’ve backed out and proved your a coward but i will still post mine up
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2:46 am
sticky!
CSB Standards: Refrain from depraved images.
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2:48 am
oh no she didn’t!
CSB Standard Warning: Refrain from lude content.
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2:40 am
enjoy!
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1:40 am
context for this pic would be nice…not complaining, i’m just a curious soul.
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1:57 pm
hahaha for the win!
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2:43 am
mmmm!
CSB Standard Warning: Refrain from lude content.
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11:23 pm
You do know that half the stuff you suggested here are illegal, right?
Someone please call the cops.
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1:43 am
half? try again. i could give you a hint, but then how would you learn?
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2:23 am
You better be careful fuzzy, it’s only a matter of time before Billings starts accusing you of being Shameful Truth, like he does everyone else. Then he’ll ask you to be his intern…
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8:26 pm
Somebody needs to report shameful’s IP address to the authorities. Whether he’s joking or not I no longer care; giving out “advice” such as that, regardless of whether or not it’s intended to be taken seriously, is incredibly dangerous.
To shameful_truth, if my assumptions are incorrect, and you truly are a bat-shit-crazy right wing conservative, you are a sick fuck to believe any of what you wrote in this “advice column” of yours. You are a threat to society and should be locked up for good where you will be the bitch of a hairy man named
If my assumptions are, however, correct, and you’re trying to spoof conservatives, you’re still a sick fuck. The jig is up. There’s a VERY fine line between spoofing the people you hate and actually becoming those people. There’s nothing funny about sealing up a woman’s vagina with rubber cement; putting such a substance on the skin, let alone shoving it inside a mucous membrane, can have toxic effects. If you find humor in sealing up women’s vaginas with toxic substances and treating them like dogs, please feel free to get on the next flight to Saudi Arabia.
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10:46 pm
Claire, I couldn’t agree with you more. Although the US Constitution grants freedom of speech, that freedom does not extend to inciting violence nor does it allow one to encourage the limitation of another’s freedoms or threaten another’s life.
I don’t care if this is intended to be funny or not: it isn’t. If there is ANY ounce of human decency to the moderators of Christwire.org, you will immediately remove ALL of this charlatan’s articles and posts before someone is seriously injured or killed. Rabble rousing about the “sins” of homosexuality, dislike of other races/cultures, and just general negativity towards anything non-Christian is one thing, but to allow this type of dangerous and life-threatening opinion is completely wrong. (Note to Stephenson: THIS IS ABSOLUTELY **NOT** JOURNALISM — INVESTIGATIVE OR OTHERWISE — SO DON’T EVEN TRY TO DEFEND THIS ARROGANT PIG).
If the site moderators do not take down this story and prohibit shameful_truth from continuing these diatribes, I will report this site to the FBI. Why the FBI? Because state lines are crossed by using the Internet and he is now committing federal crimes.
You’ve been warned.
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11:31 pm
Claire, Adam: I have nothing to add to this debate that you haven’t already said except to say, please don’t throw accusations at me personally when I have not said anything.
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12:54 am
I’d like to add another thing to my little diatribe up there:
It is very possible that shameful_truth does indeed believe the disgusting things that he says, yet hides behind the guise of a liberal posing as a radical right-wing conservative so that his extremist views concerning women, homosexuals, and people of other races will simply be brushed off as harmless parody. It’s quite possible that he’s really a sick, twisted man who assumes a fake persona on the internet in order to get his feelings out.
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11:23 am
As interesting as your convoluted theory of someone pretending to be someone they aren’t who is pretending to be someone they are is, I think your imagination has run a little off in this instance. It doesn’t make psychological sense.
If the creator of Shat really did believe these things, his conscience and sense of right and wrong would be so far gone that he would not have the morality necessary for your theory. For your theory to work, he would have to know on some level that his beliefs are wrong and immoral, but even if he DID have some shred of humanity left in him that was making him doubt these thoughts, why on Earth would he try and convince people that he is just joking? Wouldn’t he seek out confirmation that he is not alone in his beliefs, that there are others who think like him so he is not wrong to think these thoughts?
Such a person would have to have an extremely fragile ego, so why would he go to the lengths of purposefully trying to make people dismiss his beliefs? It just doesn’t add up. Yes, he would be extremely unbalanced and irrational, but still his actions would be toward the goal of assuaging his doubts, not increasing them.
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10:55 pm
You’re right!! Unfortunatly, I’m a Canadian, so I can’t give Shat’s IP adress… But if I could, I would do it!! The law didn’t accept this stuff. Shat deserves jail !!
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8:56 pm
I lied :3
Tell me shameful,
What does it feel like to be outsmarted by a fourteen-year-old?
-Best regards, Matt
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8:59 pm
Oh and the fact that you would kill someone for cheating you is beyond redemtion.
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10:37 pm
let me get this straight: divorce? one way ticket to hell. finacing kurder of your wife? a-okay…..do we really need to say anything else?
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10:57 pm
wow … one word Jail right now he doesn’t even deserve the court
he is a Threat to Human in general and deserve to be put in jail for his entire life
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11:00 pm
This was the whole point of this ruse. To show shats true nature as a human being, or rather the scum that he is.
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1:21 pm
This man obviously has no wife because if he did she would be long gone by now. I think he is also having a sexual thrill about tieing a women in his basement and treating her like a dog. Someone should really check this guy out he must have mental retardation or something.
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11:04 pm
Shat deserves jail! And I hope he don’t have a wife… Otherwise, maybe we shloud tell to the FBI that maybe he killed someone in the pass?!
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11:11 pm
Julie, I know your heart is in the right place, but providing fallacious information (i.e. concoting a story of murder) would not help, and it might actually hurt. I think it’s prudent to deal strictly with the facts. And the fact is, his posts tell people to be violent. Someone with a few screws missing might actually take his advice to heart and an innocent person may be hurt, mamed or killed.
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11:28 pm
I guess, you’re right. It’s just Shat make me angry!
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11:24 pm
we shouldnt put anything past someone who would give this sort of advice, spoof or not
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11:29 pm
To shameful,
as a final note;
This is not the logic of a sane person.
This is the psychotic ramblings of a mentally deranged person. The fact that you would pose this much of a threat to humanity is frightning. Please do not continue this distubing behavior, if possible find a therapist.
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2:31 am
Okay, I’m sure I’m about to open up a whole can of worms with this, but I have to throw my two cents in.
I understand everyone’s anger here, and I am in no way condoning the actions described in this article, but I can’t help but wonder if some people are blowing this a bit out of proportion (I am saying this, of course, under the fairly sound assumption that the creator of Shameful Truth is not in fact the person he claims to be. If the author does in fact believe these things, then I totally agree that he should be put through the worst punishment imaginable).
All I am saying is that even if the author is portraying a characterization of someone in a satirical manner, that does not necessarily mean that he is trying to be funny. Satire by it’s very nature displays the worst aspects of society and slaps it in your face – yes, it is often done in a humorous way so as to diminish the values of those aspects we all loathe, but more often than you may realize, true satire is anything but comical.
Take the most famous satirical essay of all time, “A Modest Proposal” by Jonathan Swift. There is nothing remotely funny about eating children, yet the horror of the idea is what gets Swift’s point across. By pushing the issue to the extreme, Swift reveals the underlying violence of society and provokes us to think more carefully about the issue at hand than we otherwise might have.
I think that this is what the author behind Shameful Truth is trying to do, as well. By exposing the underlying hypocrisy of these extremists who claim to be following the path of God, yet live their lives filled with hate, violence and fear, he reveals them for the hypocrites that they are.
Is it funny? Absolutely not. But that’s the point.
Some people have said that someone could read this and take it seriously and act out the “advice” given by Shat. I’m sorry, but that is B.S. First of all, did people start eating their children after the publication of “A Modest Proposal” because they believed that Swift was serious? No.
Secondly, and more importantly, anyone who is so far gone from reality as to actually see logic and reason in this article’s argument is going to do the violence in his mind regardless of whether or not he reads some article on-line or not. This is one of my biggest pet peeves about modern society. No one takes responsibility for their actions anymore. It’s always, “I was influenced by movies,” or “I played too many violent video games.” Reading this article is not going to convince someone to murder or abuse their wife anymore than watching pornography is going to make me go out and rape a woman.
Some people have even insinuated that the mere fact that the author has imagined these things is cause for him to be prosecuted, which I am sorry to say is also B.S. Should Thomas Harris be jailed for having imagined the character of Hannibal Lecter? Should JK Rowling be prosecuted for creating Voldemort (or Dolores Umbridge, for that matter…)? Should George Lucas be punished for having created Darth Vader? No. These are all characters, like Shameful Truth, who were created in order to display the vile parts of society. Their creators do not want you to sympathize with them or like them. If they are not making you mad and stirring your emotions, then they are not doing their job.
My point is, if you want to attack the character of Shameful_Truth, by all means you should. The character is a vile, despicable S.O.B. and if he were real he should be burned at the stake. If what he says makes you so mad that you want to scream, good. It should, because if what he said didn’t make you mad then there would be something seriously wrong with you. And that’s the author’s point, I think.
But personally attacking the author just seems a little extreme to me. Perhaps instead of attacking the author for exposing the violence of society, we should be turning our finger on society itself. I guess what I’m getting at, is that you shouldn’t shoot the messenger, to use a tired cliche.
That’s my two cents. Take it or leave it for what it’s worth. Just hope I’ve provided some food for thought…
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3:54 am
One more thing before I call it a night…I find it interesting how the writings of ALL of the writers on this site (and I am of the opinion that most, if not all of them, are being satirical in their writings) are laced with undercurrents of hatred, violence and spousal abuse, yet Shameful actually comes forward and states the violence for what it is, instead of sugarcoating it, and suddenly the author has gone too far and needs to be turned into the FBI and arrested…It’s a bit of a double standard. Yes, Shameful takes it farther than the others, but that doesn’t make him any more “dangerous.” If anything, I think he is less dangerous than the others because it is easier to recognize him for what he is: a satirist.
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2:42 pm
Hey, shameful has shut his piehole.
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3:25 pm
mos def he’s posting under one of the other names up there defending himself
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5:48 pm
I can see why you would think that – after all, who other than the author would defend such an article – but, no. I’m just a frequent reader of the site who hasn’t really participated in the discussions before because, like I said, I believe the writers to be satirists and I personally don’t see any point in debating with someone who is only pretending to disagree with me when in fact they agree with me.
I just jumped in on this debate because I was confused as to how all of a sudden people could suddenly think that a person who writes articles claiming that contractions (as in “it’s” or “we’re”) are a device of Satan to undermine society and that Snuggies contain mutagenic properties actually believes what he is writing and is a dangerous person…
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3:36 pm
even if it’s a parody or not it’s deserve punishment
and don’t comes tell me freedom of speech Yes it’s a Good thing the freedom of speech but when you go to far and wanting to Kill or threatening of kill you don,t deserve the freedom
Freedom of speech is a privilege and we should not abuse of it
Billings is the less abusive of the Bunch ( it’s a compliment so take it ) yet he didn’t start insulting at the first sign of distress
even if his article sound “gay” at some part and pedophile (Yes it’s does just Think of the Jock culture its enough to make me Puke)
but my point is you have this privilege don,t abuse of it it’s like alcohol or sex don’t absue of it it’s not christian like it’s not even satanist like not even liberal or atheist someone with the Mind of shameful_truth is not even Human or animal
and don’t come tell me he is Protected by the freedom of speech stuff the first who already destroyed your constitution are the Bush family
just tyo tell you that the freedom of speech is not here anymore when you intend to hurt someone
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4:31 pm
billings sucks, his *articles* suck and he freaks out if anyone *dare* criticize him.
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6:05 pm
You’re confusing satire with parody. Parody by it’s nature is humorous, satire – not necessarily. And I’m not going to argue for his right of free speech or protest the article being taken down – at this point I think it should be taken down just to put an end to all of this.
I’m just pointing out that while the author undeniably crossed an invisible unspoken line here, so has everybody else by confusing the author with the character. I have seen no evidence in any of Shameful Truth’s articles to suggest that the author and the character are one and the same – and plenty of evidence to the contrary, so to say that the author “intends to hurt someone” because he wrote a work of satire is pushing it a bit. Does Stephen King “intend” to hurt people by writing all of the violent, nightmarish images he creates? Did Jonathan Swift “intend” to hurt people by writing “A Modest Proposal?” Did Thomas Harris “intend” to hurt people when he created Hannibal Lecter?
I am a lot more frightened by the writings of Billings, Reagan, Nordgren and Nelson, because with them it’s harder to be certain if they are portraying characters, or actually believe the things they write. With people like Shameful, Abe and – to a slightly lesser extent – Amber, the evidence of irony within their work is so evident that it is hard to deny that the authors are portraying characters, not themselves.
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7:25 pm
Sorry about taking your name tim,
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2:37 am
I guess I’ll forgive you.
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9:55 pm
at least to those author we Know they didnt exist but shameful wanted to Bombard and Kill every gay in this world
Much like every christwire we shall put down the whole website
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12:12 am
You are, again, confusing the author with the character. This is what I was arguing. You are right that we do not know for certain whether or not the creator of Shameful is serious or portraying a character, but I am 99% convinced from reading his articles and seeing the irony that is inherent in his writing that the author is not as evil (or as stupid, for that matter) as the character he portrays. I think his silence on the matter speaks volumes.
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8:35 pm
You actually believe that God would condone a man hiring someone to kill his wife?
You actually believe that God would condone a man tying his wife up in the basement and filling up her vagina with rubber cemenet? You actually think that this is what christians do?
you think if God/Jesus was married this is what they would do to they’re wives? Hit them and abuse them? Really?
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1:40 pm
I have to agree with Tim on this one…Come on people, it’s satire. You all know it’s satire. If you don’t recognize that, then you’re as dense as the people the author is portraying. Tim is right, anyone who reads this and says, “Hey, that’s a good idea!” was going to do something just as bad, or worse, regardless of whether he ever read it or not. You people seriously want to ruin someone’s life over a stupid article? You’re all starting to sound more like the Christwires than the protestors….
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1:45 pm
This is horrifying. Again Shameful is not being convicted by the holy spirit and this just goes to show that it’s a veil liberal under that name. I’m reporting this to the holymailbox.
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1:51 pm
See? My point exactly. Even the retard recognizes that the author is being satirical. This is why I’m far more scared of the retard than I am of Shat – because I’m starting to think that he actually might be serious and agreeing with all the crap the other writers are spewing. THAT is far more terrifying to me than some guy writing a tasteless, but satirical, article.
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11:01 pm
“find yourself a good woman who understands her place in the world.”
-and that is a slave to u isnt it??? times have changed, women are allowed to go without u filthy disgraces to all men everywhere!
“give her a couple good, healthy slaps so that, like a dog, she knows what will happen when she misbehaves. Be careful not to hit her hard enough to leave any marks, not because that is wrong but because then she will be able to claim that you are abusing her and Hussein Obama will give her Health Insurance.”
-wowwwwwwww… ok 1. abuse is WRONG and even JESUS STOOD UP TO IT…. i sure didnt see Jesus Christ going around slapping Mary Magdalene!!!! you fucking sicken me >.< no wonder u dont have a wife! and wtf is so worng about obama? hes a very educated man, so stop picking on him! he isnt a terrorist just cuz hes african american! yea i kno people r upset tht he hasnt rly done too much about the war n all but i mean look at what he has to go thru! try n put urself in his shoes n think about how HARD it is to run a counrty.. if he makes 1 wrong move it can cost the US millions of dollars and were already over our heads in debt!
"Then one morning slip some strong sedatives into her morning coffee. Something along the lines of elephant tranquilizer should do the trick. Go down to your local ACE Hardware store and purchase a hole lot of duck tape, some good strong rope, some of those nice heavy duty chains, and some super rubber cement.
When you get back home, drag the flussy into your basement (or attic, walk-in freezer, or wherever that will be most secluded, dark and dank), tie her up nice and tight with the rope, take the chains and secure her to something sturdy, cover her mouth with duck tape, and seal her forbidden zone shut with the rubber cement.Leave her there for about a week. Every other day or so, if the tart behaves, you can reward her good behavior by bringing her a dog biscuit and a small bowl of water, but make it clear that if she acts up you will get the vacuum cleaner and take her snack back."
-yea ok im sure anyone who has ever been cheated on (including me cuz it happened to me once) feels this way n would LOOOOVE to do this, but telling someone to do this is basically telling them to torture the person and it can also b taken along the lines of murder…. im sure if the government or cops got a hold of this piece of shit article theyd have u in some deep shit!
cheating is terribly wrong but theres no reason to go to such extremes… if u dont wanna talk it over then just leave her! OR if tht is "so against this religion" (which i dont get by the way) then tell her to leave u cuz then ur not really committing any sin there cuz shell b the one to leave…
and lastly, i just have to say tht im pretty sure (and i hope) tht everyone knows tht this website is a bunch of BS… its just abuncha made up shit by 40+ yr old single horny supervirgin men who have nothing better too do than make up silly bullshit to get attention so they feel they have some importance in the world… to make a long story short, they just like the attention and its pretty pathetic xD
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6:06 pm
Hey shameful,
You can’t use protection because that’s an abomination to God. Secondly you shouldn’t even be having sex unless its for the purposes of procreation. And thirdly you rubber cemented her vagina shut, and all other holes are an abomination to God, so “marital relations privileges” are out of the question. But other than that real nice work, I mean its simply brilliant.
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1:06 pm
Oh My God this man is not fit for society! Someone really has to report this guy before he do something really stupid.
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2:58 am
seriously just shut the fuck up
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11:27 am
So if my boyfriend/husband cheats I can cut his ding dong off? Just wondering.
XOXO,
Sadriana
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8:59 pm
Oh Pleazzzze people, this is supposed to be satire. and yes maybe it goes a little far, but when reading through the Old testament you see that you were supposed to stone your children if they disobey, or your wife for committing adultery, etc, etc I don’t see how is this much worse?? And many take Bible to be the literal word of G-d. So which is scarier, a G-d that put forth these laws to follow (or at least to follow in the past) or people that still believe that this is what G-d wanted them to do?
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8:19 pm
You, Sir, are fucking HILARIOUS!
At first glance this site seemed to be just one more conservative, lib-bashing excuse to spew superlatives about eviloooshinists and the like. Then I read your article re: Gates. Saw through that one right away but was mortified that most of the responders didn’t get it! Better chill wid dat shit or the DOS GOD will get you! Ha!
Then I read this article and about fell outa my chair laughing!
ICU!!! You’re stirring the pot! For CASH! How friggin low can you go! You DO realize some snaggle tooth pond scum from one of the lower RED states is going to take your advice, don’t you? Can’t you see you wield a bit of authority over your sheeple? tsk tsk. Naturally most of the responders have taken offense but ‘ol Enus back in Farmdale is looking for his keys to go get some more ‘duck’ tape.
Ok. I know the moral majority is largely filled with ignorant dolts who gladly “tithe” bastards such as yourself and I admire you for fleecing your sheeple with such wit! I find it so good I might start a site of my own…
Wait – what? You don’t get paid for this hate mongering? Uh huh.
At least have the good sense to COVER YOUR ASS with something like; this is a parody and should not be taken in earnest – blah blah blah.
Your NEW friend, Charlie.
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4:28 pm
This honestly sounds like some sort of sick, erotic foreplay. I’m pretty sure this is a joke?
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9:24 pm
I am so appauled about what i just read, I am going off to throw up in my bathroom, get myself a glass of water, drink it, and pray that god judges your soul properly, you satanist.
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4:31 pm
This site is utterly deplorable. What is advocated in this article is a crime. Kidnapping for one thing. You people are utterly craven and twisted. I have seen advice telling people to hit their wife if she doesn’t bow down to her man, tie her up an beat her and call her a slut to her kids if she cheats, I’ve seen people advocate for the murder of gays and lesbians (all the while having nearly pornographic gay images on this site; closet case much?), and multiple other vile forms of hate. You people are no better than the Aryan Brotherhood or KKK. Revolting. You claim to try to project the love of Christ. Tell me, would Christ tie up a women, beat her, call her a slut, then advocate murder of gays? What Christ are you following exactly? This site should be ashamed to call itself Christian, for if evil exists in this world it exists most purely in the black hearts of those who put up this hate site.
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8:01 pm
hahaha it was hard to tell at first.
either your making a satire, or you really are a super jesus fuck whom openly shows his idiocy and lack of humanity as well as some ignorant overchristianized john haggee encarnation. lol
so, good satire.
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2:04 pm
Hi Tim,
I decided to respond to your question in an independent article rather than in the comment thread, for this is an important issue that should be addressed and not lost in the bowls of Christwire`s comments.
Ah yes, Tim, the age old question of how to handle a women who has gotten out of line. Some of these cooter-flavored liberals who constantly barrage our comment feedbacks would probably tell you that you should talk things over with her, try and work it out, and if it looks like things just are not going to work out, look into getting a divorce.
To which I spit on them.
You are married, so unless you would like to spend an eternity having your sole raped by the minions of Satan, you are stuck with the wench until either you or she dies. Preferably the latter so that you can find yourself a good woman who understands her place in the world.
Assuming you do not want to muck around with hiring someone to kill her (for which I would have the upmost sympathy), and you want to stay married to the harlot (perhaps her parents are quite wealthy and you want to wait until she has inherited there trust fund), I would suggest the following.
First off, give her a couple good, healthy slaps so that, like a dog, she knows what will happen when she misbehaves. Be careful not to hit her hard enough to leave any marks, not because that is wrong but because then she will be able to claim that you are abusing her and Hussein Obama will give her Health Insurance.
Then one morning slip some strong sedatives into her morning coffee. Something along the lines of elephant tranquilizer should do the trick. Go down to your local ACE Hardware store and purchase a hole lot of duck tape, some good strong rope, some of those nice heavy duty chains, and some super rubber cement.
When you get back home, drag the flussy into your basement (or attic, walk-in freezer, or wherever that will be most secluded, dark and dank), tie her up nice and tight with the rope, take the chains and secure her to something sturdy, cover her mouth with duck tape, and seal her forbidden zone shut with the rubber cement.
Leave her there for about a week. Every other day or so, if the tart behaves, you can reward her good behavior by bringing her a dog biscuit and a small bowl of water, but make it clear that if she acts up you will get the vacuum cleaner and take her snack back.
Should you have children and they inquire to the absence of your wife, simply tell them that mommy was a naughty little slut and that she is getting a small taste of what awaits her in the after-life. Instilling a sense of morality and fidelity in children is always important.
Most importantly, once you have removed the jezebel from “time out,” make sure that you always use protection when invoking your weekly marital relations privileges, for you do not want to take the chance of contracting any STIs from the filthy slattern.
Wow,nice recipe for a lengthy prison sentence…
My wife cheated on me,I am getting a divorce,sorry,but trust is essential in our relationship and once that trust has been breached,to me there is no going back.
So if you like being a woman beater,then go for it…not my cup of joe and I am positive god would not frown on me for doing so,but what you wrote is encouraging violence,not solutions
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2:17 pm
Ok,first off,this is illegal
I will clarify why:
“First off, give her a couple good, healthy slaps so that, like a dog, she knows what will happen when she misbehaves. Be careful not to hit her hard enough to leave any marks, not because that is wrong but because then she will be able to claim that you are abusing her and Hussein Obama will give her Health Insurance.”
This is assault in the 4th or more commonly known as ‘Domestic Violence’ by today’s law,She can still file an assault report and assailant can/would be taken into custody
“Then one morning slip some strong sedatives into her morning coffee. Something along the lines of elephant tranquilizer should do the trick. Go down to your local ACE Hardware store and purchase a hole lot of duck tape, some good strong rope, some of those nice heavy duty chains, and some super rubber cement.”
This is unlawful imprisonment,punishable by up to 5 years in prison.
“When you get back home, drag the flussy into your basement (or attic, walk-in freezer, or wherever that will be most secluded, dark and dank), tie her up nice and tight with the rope, take the chains and secure her to something sturdy, cover her mouth with duck tape, and seal her forbidden zone shut with the rubber cement.”
Again,Unlawful Imprisonment but with intent.Rubber cement is harmful to skin contact and can cause burns,now this would be considered Assault 3rd
“Leave her there for about a week. Every other day or so, if the tart behaves, you can reward her good behavior by bringing her a dog biscuit and a small bowl of water, but make it clear that if she acts up you will get the vacuum cleaner and take her snack back.”
This is kidnapping and Illegal imprisonment..
“Should you have children and they inquire to the absence of your wife, simply tell them that mommy was a naughty little slut and that she is getting a small taste of what awaits her in the after-life. Instilling a sense of morality and fidelity in children is always important.”
I love dealing with sick people like you on the job,makes prosecuting a heck of a lot easier and convictions for people like you are almost concrete
“Most importantly, once you have removed the jezebel from “time out,” make sure that you always use protection when invoking your weekly marital relations privileges, for you do not want to take the chance of contracting any STIs from the filthy slattern.”
My wife read this article and the first thing she said she would do after being released form the so called “time out” would be to notify police and sheriff,and to prosecute you.Cheating or not,you have no right to treat another human being with the ways you have described.You sir,need to read up on current laws that state what one can and cannot do to another person in this day and age
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2:22 pm
You are the devil for writing such horror and promoting the mistreatment of another human being.
I would not care if she cheated or not,divorce is easier than hardcore prison time
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2:27 pm
Shameful-truth,
And one more thing,I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt ,that I will be with my father one day in the heavens and no mortal,yourself included,is going to tell me I won’t.for someone who writes articles promoting human mistreatment,well,I guess time will tell on that one..
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11:35 am
Kudos to the author. It’s as if oaths made to God are no longer of any significance in today’s immoral world. I blame liberals. They’ve worked tirelessly to break down the traditional foundations upon which this nation was built and because of this we are all suffering.
All of these failed marriages are because liberals refuse to recognize the roles of traditional family figures being a wage-earning father and a caring mother. Without Christ in the family structure, the delicate balance between love and discipline is kicked away like a weakling’s sand castle on muscle beach.
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11:40 am
Condoms are forbidden =P They act against the ways of your precious God. And I think if you’d do any of that stuff, or even thinking of it, your soul will burn in Hell for all eternity. According to all you guys posting bullshit here on Christwire.
I know it’s all fake, happy trollin’ guys
xxx
love from a gay dubstep producer from Holland
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12:11 pm
The heretics who keep saying this article and the website are being satirical are just wrong. Its obvious that almost everything said in the article is based on scripture. BTW there is no such thing as ‘duck tape’ that I am aware of. Its ‘duct tape’. Tape for taping up duct work. And the cheating whore wife is a ‘floozie’. God doesn’t expect you to be perfect but HE does expect you to use spellcheck.
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5:50 pm
I am gay!
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