Modern Day Forbidden Fruit
Us Christians know the story of Adam and Eve, with the talking snake and forbidden fruit. But is there still things out there that are forbidden for us to eat or consume in any way? Well the answer is yes.
Mariwana is the most well known of these modern day forbidden fruits. Grown in the evil, pagan country of Mexico, mariwana (derived from the Mexican word, “mari”, meaning “disgusting” and “wana”, meaning “athiest bread”) is the most evil and sickest of all plants. Mariwana is consumed through eating, cooking in food, smoking, or snorting. The most common way of consuming it is smoking it or baking it in brownies and handing them out to kindergarteners.
The second this evil drug enters your body, Satan instantly grabs hold of you. Anything could happen. Sometimes he’ll tell you to stay at home and listen to evil black hipper hopper “Lil Wayne” or pop group Beatles . Other times, he will command you to rape and murder playground children or rob big companies like Microsoft.
If you take this drug even once, Satan lingers in in you forever and there is no chance of you ever going to Heaven. Sometimes you will have seizures or suddenly murder your mother without even knowing it.
Now why did God put this forbidden fruit here? It\’s because he’s testing us. Just like he tested Eve, he wants to know if we can make the right choice to. Make the right choice. The results of making the wrong one inclide going to Hell and dying.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Max Jenkins
I am a youth leader at my church and man of God. In my free time, I enjoy teaching children how to play piano so they can worship God even more, and reviewing classic albums so you will know whats Safe and whats Satan to listen to.
6:34 am
“derived from the Mexican word, “mari”, meaning “disgusting” and “wana”, meaning “athiest bread””
No.
The right spell is: Marijuana, literally in English “Mary Jane”. It’s a nickname for the flowers of Cannabis Sativa, the parts of the plant that are actually dried and smoked. It is a sacred plant in Hindu culture, well known since Assirian period of domination in middle east, used for medicinal purposes in many cultures, it gives minor allucinating effects and no addiction. The only drug that leads people committnig acts of violence and crimes is cocaine if assumed in great quantity.
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4:27 pm
I, Raptor Jesus, son of Allah-saurus, and archenemy of Satanatops, aprove the smoking of pot. lol
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11:08 pm
lol this rasist bitch was high as hell when he wrote this
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6:55 am
wow it’s fun to make shit up isn’t it?
can’t you argue your case without doing it though?
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11:10 pm
read it while u are high lol
2x as funny
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6:46 pm
lol epic fail he didnt even know that most of his produce and the first paper ( papyrus and the chinese paper ) was made of canabis oh and by the way it’s a medicine
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1:30 am
Oh he knows. He’s not the stupid one here.
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3:43 am
HAHA, mariwana. Dictionaries are your friend.
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8:45 pm
Oh, god, that made me laugh so hard I cried. You sir, are a comedic genius.
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4:08 pm
I’ve smoked marijuana for years and it has never caused me to lash out violently at another. I was also raised to respect the choices of others and to never force it on them.
Unlike a certain religion.
But believe whatever you will and I’ll continue to smoke this delicious gankety green.
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9:25 pm
this guy is so a virgin hahahahaha
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2:48 pm
ok buddy, how can you be teaching children these things with a clear conscience? You do know that none of what you said in this is true, right? MARIJUANA, grown by the evil Mexicans (kind of racist, by the way) is a drug that mellows you out…it doesn’t make you kill people…Did you know that other religions actually use it to bring them closer to God? You’re ethnocentrism is not appreciated.
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9:57 pm
i think “Mariwana” is a like “chill pill” from God to relax u and u wont go to heaven if u take it !!!! u disgrace Christianity
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11:45 pm
HAHAHAHAHA
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4:46 pm
Oh dear, someone doesn’t know how to use spell check.
Like someone mentioned previously, the whole mari-wana thing is a total lie. It’s spell Marijuana.
Mexico is an evil pagan country? You do realize that mexicans were converted to christianity when Colombus came to the americas and raped and killed a majority of the Mayans? As far as I know many mexicans are CATHOLIC.
Hipper hopper? HHAHAHAHA. I HATE hip hop music and I used to smoke weed all the time. I used to listen to..get this…CLASSICAL music when I was high, or ambient, or comedians. Never hip hop.
Depending on your consumption of water, marijuana leaves your body after about 1 month I think? It doesn’t stay with you for forever. I don’t feel high all the time, I’ve never had a seizure and I used to smoke it almost every day for four years. The only time I’ve ever wanted to murder someone is when they CRASHED INTO MY CAR IN A DRUNKEN STUPOR.
“The results of making the wrong one inclide going to Hell and dying.”
Lol. I could just cry everyone who posts seriously on this site is so ignorant.
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6:09 pm
In a world full of people like the one who wrote this article, how can we as human kind have any hope surviving. We have dumb governments and presidents already, why do we need dumb idiots like this writing false statements about a PLANT. That is like saying eating grass from the yard makes you evil. Marijuana is the correct spelling as well. Clearly this article was a joke or some one is seriously the dumbest human alive on Earth.
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7:41 pm
you do know the first bible was written on paper made from cannabis marijuana
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5:46 pm
The author of this article of misinformation should not be allowed near any children. What people like this have done to my teachings is an abomination and a mortal sin. The “Holy Bible” is a corruption of all that I represent and attempted to teach to you, my children. Unfortunately “The Big Book of Lies” (as God and I refer to it) has been used to gain wealth and power. Repent… yes YOU!
Now back to the reason I am taking time out of my very hectic eternity to write this. The cannibis plant is a gift from my Father to all of you. It is the most useful gift you will ever receive from either of us. Yet your ignorance, cowardice and greed have blinded you to all that you have been given. He who claims to speak in the name of myself or my Father is false and shall be smited. We speak for ourselves… with not mere words… we speak with the awesome power of the universe… and when we speak to you, you will know it.
J.C.
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1:47 am
Well now… If it’s “Satan” that grabs a hold of me, I definately won’t mind going to hell
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11:03 pm
lol what dumb ass wrote this shit i thought it was hilarious, but is this guy serious? u rape kids and kill ur mom!!! i think not and i no that the more weed i smoke the less satan is around me… well just wanted to point out ur a dumb ass.
or maybe its ur excuse to rape kids and kill ppl.. well have fun with Jesus while i actually get into heaven u can bs shit about drugs.
ps im a jew u ass hole
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11:44 pm
I’m tired of being creative here. I’ve accepted the fact that you’re stupid.
as earlier stated, MARIJUANA, Einstein.
And I’m pretty sure the picture you posted was just like, pinecone flowers.
The Beatles are not a Satanic rock band. They’re some of the most influential musicians of the last century, and their intentions were for world peace and the spreading of love, not hate and war. Your values are skewed between Christianity and just being terrible.
People who smoke pot are usually trying to escape from a world that is not satisfactory or even dangerous or lonely (loneliness and such probably caused by you). People with addictions should be helped, not persecuted. When one has an addiction, the last thing you want to do is say that they’re being possessed by Satan because that’d probably cause them to smoke MORE pot. And potheads don’t rape kids and stuff, or rob Microsoft. They sit in their house and eat Cheetos. Robbing Microsoft and raping kids requires brainpower, which M-A-R-I-J-U-A-N-A does not provide. Do your damn research.
By the Satan will not linger in you forever, he’ll get the fuck out after rehab because many of the people I know who have been addicted make a fabulous recovery and are better people for it.
Why don’t YOU make the right choice and just stop spewing this level of guano.
And no, that was not a suggestion. That was an order in the name of Public Safety.
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11:52 pm
I have nothing more to add to this. Thank you Libellule, for being a fellow voice of sanity in this damn biast hellhole.
If you ask me, if there’s any truth in the heaven/hell judging, the people who write this are going to hell. Seriously, get your facts straight you dumbasses.
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