RIP The United States Military, 1776-2010

The United States Military, a former ragtag revolutionary group that grew up to become the greatest fighting force in human history, the most high-tech and sophisticated state organization on the planet but still imbued with a youthful optimism rooted in the traditional virtues of a bygone era, died on the floor of Congress on Wednesday, January 27, 2010. It was 234 years old.
To a nation hungry for brawny heroes, a nation battered by the Civil War, challenged by the spiritual horror of WWII and pushed to the brink of annihilation during the Cold War, the US Armed Forces held out the promise of greatness, the promise that America would always “stand firm and tall.”
President Obama, who was addressing both chambers of Congress when he announced the demise, stated, “I will work with Congress and our military to finally repeal the law that denies ‘gay’ Americans the right to serve the country they love because of what they are.”
Up until now, the US military had outlived every threatening American political trend, from the Southern Confederacy to the 1960s peace movement, spending its final decade largely out of the public eye, coping with the new threat of global Islamic terrorism.
In 2003, our brave soldiers touched the hearts of Americans again when, after the calamitous domestic attacks of 9/11, they successfully overthrew the imminently dangerous oil-rich regime of Iraqi despot Saddam Hussein.
Last week, Anthony Perkins of The Family Research Council stated that the morale of our enlisted men had worsened considerably. “Forcing soldiers to cohabit with people who view them as sexual objects will lead to increased sexual tension, sexual harassment, and sexual assault,” he noted.

When the US Military was at the height of its influence, it had hundreds of thousands of morally wholesome servicemen and officers, from nubile recruits who took the oath to, “support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic,” to seasoned, vigorous commanders. These were men who sacrificed wives and families to live a spartan existence in far-flung corners of the world, alone in the company of their guns and their fellow hardened patriots.
Through unimaginable threats, these soldiers managed to project the optimism of General George Washington, the courage of Stonewall Jackson, the brilliance of George S. Patton and the indomitable resolve of Norman Schwarzkopf. Time and again, the military restored America’s faith in itself and in democracy. Our men in uniform continually rode a crest of popularity that few armed services in other countries ever enjoyed.
But late in 1993, the military was plunged into the most inexorable conflict it had ever faced. It was not an external attack, but rather an enemy from within– the practitioners of divergent homosexuality embedded amongst our service members. Contrary to research and reason, then-President Bill Clinton enacted the so-called “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy which allowed gays to serve in uniform as long as they weren’t vocal about their incessant male-sex desires, instituting a culture of “pervasive dishonesty and secrecy” in steamy showers, tight-bunking situations and on quiet but intimate shore leaves.
The deception and disdain for the homosexualization of the US Armed Forces invited comparisons to weaker European defenses, undermining our military’s credibility and severely lessening its power as a global deterrent against the people bent on destroying America. Scrutiny by Muslim extremists increased; The Chinese no longer feared us; Russia began to rebuild its empire; NATO became so impotent it took to bullying tiny countries like Serbia; and even South American drug lords questioned our morality.

“The last thing our fighting men and women need,” homosexual expert Peter LaBarbera has stated, “is to have the military floodgates opened up for homosexual men and lesbians to join as open practitioners of homosexuality. Remember: homosexuality is not an ‘identity’ issue or a ‘civil rights’ issue; it’s a BEHAVIORIAL issue, and welcoming in men and women who are tempted to practice — or inclined to practice — disordered same-sex behavior is wrong and detrimental to the morale, effectiveness and readiness of our Armed Forces.”
LaBarbera said he believed, “There is a huge market for ‘gay’ military porn because lots of homosexual men are turned on by ’straight-acting,‘ ’macho’ (masculine) men. I realize it’s a sick comparison, but just as many women like a ‘ man in uniform,’ so do homosexual men. At 3am on Jan. 29, 2010, a Google search on the three words ‘gay military porn’ yielded about 1,300,000 entries. This is a huge (and very twisted) business, and obviously the demand is high among men with a homosexual problem.”
Meanwhile, at the behest Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates, the Pentagon has already begun studying ways to integrate homosexuals into the military with the utmost care and sensitivity. Gay activists have long eyed our armed forces as a, “fruitful source of sexual partners,” and are absolutely giddy at the chance to enlist en masse. As experts at the Center for Military Readiness have noted, this move will emasculate our defenses beyond repair, as more and more gay men enlist driving out the heterosexuals to the point where gays will dominate our military, creating a highly-sexualized nonstop “bathhouse-style” experience that produces neither the strength nor the will to fight wars.
America, we now begin the journey that will lead us into the sunset of our democracy. Liberal and gay activists have grown too officious and imposing for the survival of our military, that last protection against the global hordes of foreign entities who hate our freedoms. The men and women who served in our armed forces did so with a proud and patriotic confidence in this country despite the reprehensible attacks from the homosexual enemies within. I only hope that time will remember the United States Military as composed of people who did everything they possibly could to promote the freedom and rights of human beings around the world.
“Above all, we must realize that no arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women. It is a weapon our adversaries in today’s world do not have.” –Ronald Reagan, Inaugural Address, January 20, 1981
















2:16 pm
first of learn to fucking write an article properly. that means stop highlighting random sentances.
secondly have you ever seen a woman you found sexualiy attractive? i’m gonna guess yes….did you sexulaly assult her? if not why do you asume a gay person would be any difrent?
why is it that you are convinced that the only reason a gay person would have to join the army is to have sex with other men? is it completly incomprihensible that a gay man would wanna fight for is country?
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7:45 pm
Shut up, fag.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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3:45 pm
wow anyway if you don’t wnat Gay In your army we can have them you know ??? at least they are not stupid to threaten their fellow comrade in a state of wars and you will lost half your soldier thats way
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7:49 pm
What? What does that gibber-gabber mean? Thats fuckin baby talk man.
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5:52 pm
Wow. This is hilarious. Do you even care about the real issues of the world today? “Bawwwww, the US military is dying now because of the gays”
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7:39 pm
Considering how many women in the armed services are raped or sexually harassed every year, adding a bunch of gay men to the ranks may be the best thing that every happened to the military…
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7:58 pm
Bravo Sir! Finally someone said what we were all thinking. Of course America’s military strength has relied on its sexual orientation! Everybody knows gay people are bad at being soldiers, it’s a scientific fact.
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8:32 pm
I am an ex service member, female. I served my country proudly and honorably. I served with some pretty tough and dedicated individuals. Some of these men and women were gay and also served and continue to serve their country. They wouldn’t think twice to die for this country that they love and cherish. Risking their lives, their gay American lives to save your very same ass. And yet you, on your high horse wish to disgrace them and tell them they cannot serve this country. How dare you, as an American and as a Christian dare wish them ill and soil their good name and reputation?!
Some men would say women have no place in the military. I met a few old salts who said it to my face. My answer? Fuck you, this is my country, too and I deserve to serve, honor and protect it. This is the home of the FREE. My right as an American. A woman. And these gay men and women. They too have a right to serve as they see fit in this…our, my American military. I feel that I have a right to decide this as I put in my time. And you? Did you ever give the ultimate sacrifice for this land you live on. I’m going to guess no you sad and pathetic excuse for a God-fearing man.
Perhaps you should move to another country where they kill those who don’t fit in. You certainly don’t deserve to be on this American soil. You, “sir”, simply do not belong.
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7:58 pm
You know its a joke right? Military broads are always trying to get tough on people. Chill out lady. Take it from someone who’s been in combat, you ain’t seen shit sister.
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9:47 pm
The US Armed Forces were founded in 1775, not 1776. I know, I know, you would never expect something like this to slip past this apparent intellectual prodigy.
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10:44 pm
Ha Ha Ha ! ! ! The same thing was said when women were first integrated into the military as soldiers. Women serving today are some of the most bad-ass fighting machines on the field. That’s the advantage the U.S. has always had, and always will have. It looks beyond convention and conservative fear and puts the best people out on the front lines, regardless of race, gender or whatever else.
I’m confident that the “soldier” (undoubtedly a whiskey delta type) that wrote this has benefited from the service many fine, brave GAY men who no most likely gave their lives to save his sorry ass. You pathetic coward, this county is too good for you, go find lesser one.
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10:58 pm
Gays have always been in the military. This should improve the professionalism of the US military because machismo attitudes actually detract from readiness and create an infantile childish environment. Its a job people, not a boys club.
Israel won all its wars with women and gays in its military and it will continue to do so. This is just the military shedding the last of its old thinking.
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12:12 am
Point of clarification: President Obama did not end DADT on Wednesday; he proposed it as part of his legislative agenda. To permanently alter the policy it will take an act of congress. Yes he could order a stop-loss measure to end the witch hunts that go on in today’s military, but he’s trying to get congress to make it permanent.
This is going to force congressional republicans to either bow to the religious voting block or make for the political middle ground.
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1:43 am
You’re just upset, Billings, because they wouldn’t let you into the military because you failed your psych exam.
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6:53 pm
haha the thought of billings even coming close to passing a psych exam makes me laugh
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7:09 am
In all seriousness, Mr. Billings, how does it feel to be utterly torn asunder by nearly every single person who has read any of your articles?
And seeing as you’re an allegedly legitimate journalist and all, I’m sure you wouldn’t mind providing us with some examples of your published works. Don’t get me wrong — I don’t doubt the unabashed talent it takes to land such a reputable position on a prestigious — what is this, a WordPress blog? Doesn’t matter. What I’m trying to say is I wholeheartedly admire the blood, sweat and tears it must have taken to go to your computer and create a username, password (letters AND at least one number, no less!) and an eye-catching banner. This is truly journalism at its finest.
I know you’ll go places, Mr. Billings. I don’t wanna’ get your hopes up, but I see … suburban city newspapers … and … maybe even a couple local events magazines in your future. Dream big; that’s the ticket! Don’t let the fact that you’re getting on in years discourage you. Your time to shine is upon us. But out of curiosity, what exactly is it you do, y’know, for a living? As in, what you’re paid to do? As in, obviously you’re not a writer, right? I’d just like to know. Your life must be fascinating!
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3:19 pm
I love it how you call the Southern Confederacy (in essence, slavery ) a “political trend” and then equate it with the Peace Movement. You fundies really pioneer the realm of twisted logic.
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5:36 am
Gee, the Israeli army is pretty effective with its gay and female troops…
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8:06 pm
Nothing to do with US funding and military technology right? Actually I think it mostly has to do with Krav-maga
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10:18 am
Actually clam strips, Israel designs their own weapons. Take the Uzi series, or the more modern Tavor TAR-21.
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8:54 pm
‘Actually’ clay, the US has been consistant in their military aid to israel. Apache gunships were used in the deadly 22 day siege of palistine, the US has an agreement that Israel can use US weopon stockpiles in the event of ‘an emergency’ and even the Obama administration is involved in a plan to give 800 million usd to israel to bolster their already large and well-equiped military. No arguement that Israel makes some nice hardware, but to think that their devolpment and production is not greatly aided by US engineers and US money is a little naive. Fact is the US has a lot to gain from a well armed ally in the middle east.
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1:51 pm
I seriously could care less about the contents of this article, but I took time from my busy schedule to thoroughly pick apart what you call “journalism” and I will not be satisfied until you at least see the charges against you
They can be found here: http://christwire.org/2009/11/half-billion-in-sales-wont-save-the-fails-inspiring-new-video-game-has-better-action-less-glitches-than-modern-warfare-2/#comments
And here: http://christwire.org/2009/10/sex-drugs-video-games-why-our-college-are-kids-failing-at-life/
If you are a real man, you will address the documented claims of your inadequacy. If not you can go on only responding to those who have no valid point to make or intelligence to share, and i will have my answer.
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3:31 am
Fucking hell!!!! I’m praying that the people commenting here are the site creators or that theyre at least in on the joke. If not, then you people are pretty damn daft. This is so obviously a parody it’s actually a bit lame. Yet people seem to fall for it.
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11:41 am
Did you know that Karl Rove’s father Louis was gay and had many genital piercings? He even appeared on the cover of a 1983 PFIQ magazine. Karl Rove has his father’s cock ring on his desk. No kidding – see http://www.boingboing.net/2007/08/26/karl-roves-pierced-f.html if you don’t believe me. This also: http://www.boingboing.net/2007/08/18/essay_im_the_proud_o.html
So let’s see – G. W. Bush’s election mastermind had a homosexual father and his vice-president, Dick Cheney, has a lesbian daughter.
Christian values? You gotta be joking!
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5:17 pm
I find it heretical and hypocritical that you’re gossiping about black secrets of a family. These things of shame are to pray about in secret, not to flail and air in public. What sort of person does such things? You should ask for forgiveness for your crass treatment of the Cheney and Rove family brand. Be thankful for what Dick and Karl did to restore their family names, and the sacrifices they made for you, this country and therefore Earth itself.
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10:42 am
The US military isn’t the best fighting force in history, the British SAS is, considering they are a tiny organisation, they’ve been estimated to have killed more than 4000 terrorists.
Plus, the majority of US troops have shit aim.
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11:43 am
Lest you forget, the United States destroyed the British military in the Revolutionary War. Today we have the strongest military on the planet, the strongest in human history. The list of wars we have triumphed in is legion, while the Brits have been slowly losing their empire to aborigine uprisings over the last 300 years.
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11:49 am
congratulations on winning all those wars aaginst people who had no way of winning in the first place seeing as they were far inferior in just about everything. i bet you were all then 16 year old kid who was proud he could beat a 7 year old in fight?
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12:36 am
Years ago they also said that African Americans couldn’t service in the army. Then we realized that skin color doesn’t change the way they fight to protect this country and ensure your freedom. If someone wants to serve, fight, and die for this country, who are we to stop them?
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12:45 am
It will threaten the cohesion and strength of our military. Do we really need to take that sort of risk in an era of global terror? Don’t you even comprehend the great risks this imposes on our fighting men? It is incredibly destructive and for what? So a few homosexuals can have their jollies and scoot close to our most virile soldiers? That’s plain sick.
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1:43 am
that is plain asumption. that’s actually exactly the same proseduer we use when we make the asupmtion that you are violating the boys you bring out in the deep dark forrest. is it fair that we do this? no. but seeing as you make the same auptions about people i dare say you deserve it.
you asume homosexuals would only want to join the armhy for sexual reasons. but that asumption is plainly wrong to make.
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1:08 am
Since WW2 our war performance is still superior, but less stellar than before CR movement.
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7:24 am
Look up the name: Friedrich Wilhelm von Steuben.
A gay leader in the American revolutionary military.
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7:28 am
P.S.: Look at the rest of the world that has let gays in their military, same arguments against being used now were being used in their debates. Gays joined openly and their militaries turned out just fine.
It’s insulting to American troops to not think they are professional enough to handle diversity.
BTW: All of the troops I know have said as long as they do their job, they’re fine with it.
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8:36 pm
What about all the US military funding that has been sent to Israel in the past, a Jewish country, think about that one christwire!
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4:53 pm
I hope people realize that you guys are what the Republican Tea Party represents. They want to take our country back a few hundred years. All the way back to the Dark Ages if they can pull it off.
VOTE! We can’t let the Republican Tea Party win.
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11:43 am
Oh, this is just tho thilly. You brave men and women who have commented here are tho amthing that I thust hafth to thay: Oh!!! (oppth justh broke a fingernail) Any way, juth thought I’d weigh in. By the way, when I wath in the Army, we juth kept it to ourthelves. No need to go pothtal or anything to atract atenthion to ourthelves, you know? Goth, thome people can’t take a joke. I wath alwayth the firtht in the thowerth and the latht one out! Now you know why… Thankth for letting me thare.
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6:02 pm
Is this site real?? I mean, is the content authored sincerely, or is it satire/parody ala The Onion. Until I hear differently, I’ll assume the latter.
Seriously, this site is hilarious. You have to read the one about atheism. I know plenty of conservative christians who would find all this ridiculous.
Thanks for the entertainment!
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6:50 pm
homosexual expert? what the fuck? who the fuck are you getting your quotes from? What is a homosexual expert? someone whos just as judgmental and homophobic as you are? billings were u an english journalism major or did u grow up during the nazi regime? u seriously have no clue how horrible a person u really are. ever heard of westboro baptist church? theyd fuckin love u there u prick.
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7:06 pm
I am an expert on the topic of homosexuality. I’m not proud of it, but it’s a job that someone must embrace.
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7:24 pm
How can you be an expert if you aren’t one of them?
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12:22 pm
would u be opposed to me calling u steph? i no its a girls name but u gotta embrace ure expertise on the “topic of homosexuality”. right?
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1:15 pm
If you’re an expert on the topic of homosexuality, then I’m God.
You seriously have no idea what the hell you talk about, at ALL.
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7:44 pm
Who gives a damn what sexuality the soldiers are?! Your sexuality is not what makes you win or lose a war. I’m disgusted there are laws against gays fighting for their own country to begin with.
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8:14 pm
We should be like Israel. The have gays in every branch of the army. And they do quite well, I must add. So, please America, fuck off and learn something new for a change.
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10:22 am
This article hurt to read. You can’t just put things in quotations and bold font and make bigotry fact:
“Gay activists have long eyed our armed forces as a,’fruitful source of sexual partners,’ and are absolutely giddy at the chance to enlist en masse.” …what?
I think this article would have at least made a little more sense if it was titled “RIP Christianity”. Was this written by a twelve year old for a social studies class after he listened to his drunken baby boomer father a little too closely for too long?
God never asked you to judge, and if this is what you come up with, maybe you should just stop thinking or speaking altogether.
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