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More Proof Lindsay Lohan is Lesbian Vampire
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Several weeks ago I penned an investigation piece that reveals suspicion that Lindsay Lohan is a Lesbian Vampire. Typical liberal critics tried to claim I did not have enough proof and the photo documentation could have been fabricated.
Today here is yet more proof that yields credence Lindsay Lohan is a lesbian vampire. This is dangerous because kids right now are being tempted by a movied named Twilight. For those of you who do not know, this movie is responsible for scores of cases where children have bit each other in the neck.
This movie has encouraged children to fornicate at young ages and to have blood rituals with the family pets, namely wolf dogs. Now we see a “Hollywood Role Model”, this Lindsay Lohan, is further tempting females to act like vampires and there is one in the film named Bella.
She has bestial relations with a vampire and werewolf and curses the name of our Heavenly Father, then does vampire blood rituals with a room full of men strangers. Twilight tries to make young girls think it is normal to get drunk and pass out in a room full of strangers in some secluded woods. Following you can see the headline “Lindsay Lohan Vamps it Up.” Vamps.
Here is the photo evidence:
8:41 pm
“Several weeks ago I penned an investigation piece”
More like six months ago. Idiot.
“Now we see a “Hollywood Role Model”, this Lindsay Lohan”
Lindsay Lohan hasn’t been a “role model” since she starred in The Parent Trap 12 years ago.
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4:38 pm
I must be missing something here. I see 2 pics of Lohan but where is this “evidence”? And what does Lohan have to do with Twilight? She does not play Bella!!
She is not even in the movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So…You believe in virgin births(impossible in humans), rising from the dead(after rotting in a cave for a day and a half) so I guess it is not too far of a stretch for you to believe in vampires also.
It’s definitely a strange little world you live in…
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4:03 pm
if i was a girl i would fuck lindsay lohan and have her bite my titties while doing “unfathomable this with my body”
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11:27 am
Just how high were you when you wrote this?
Write a bunch of ranty crackpot parody if you wish, but at least get the basic facts right. In your previous article for instance you addressed “Mr” JK Rowling as the author of Twilight. JK Rowling is a woman and the author of the Harry Potter books. Twilight was written by Stefanie Meyer and incidently contains zero bestility nor any sex of any kind, gay or otherwise. There are also zero instances of teenage drinking, let alone “getting drunk and passing out in a room full of strangers.”
While Lindsay Lohan obviously has [frequesntly] gotten drunk, and may have passed out at parties, I very much doubt that a teenage novel was the reason for it.
Seriously, where is the comedy in just spewing rambling nonsenical crazytalk and facts a six year old could tell you are wrong?
Take a leaf from Cracked.com, I Can Has Cheezburger, The Onion or even The Huffington Post – websites that really ARE amusing, and manage to be so without resorting to idiocy, racism, homnophobia or religious bigotry.
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9:53 am
All of the sudden, I feeling the need to fornicate while bloood letting the family dog.
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