Gays Invent Penazzling
Well we should have known it would come to this. Gays love to prey upon our sons and really lick their chops when they go off to college. Gays think “oh, little Johnny is off on his own now so let’s get him drunk and experiment with twiddler rompus with no parents around!”
It’s a great concern to send boys off to college, there are many threats. Our good friend Derek Van Buren warned us about how college girls are vajazzling their secret parts to cause academic young men to register into various classes of sin. Then Dan Nordgren issued a timely warning about how the gays are always on the prowl, constantly looking for ways to bother normal men.
Now we know gays tend to be artistic and tedious (therefore their, usual job choices of e.g., 1) secretary 2) nurse 3) fashion designs and so on), but their newest invention is probably the most hell bent thing I’ve seen yet.
When I first received an alert for this in holymailbox, I closed my eyes and just hoped it wasn’t but a dream. I’ve never been so sick and angered! I did not even want to acknowledge this is happening in colleges. Being a parent of a college son, I have enough stress with minority drugs from the sports teams, these new whore vajazzlers and atheist professors.
But now what do you know, the gays caught wind of how vajazzlers are corrupting our boys with glittered sex assaults, and now they are adorning their twiddles with diamonds because they no college kids are poor.
All gays are now following a step by step procedure called penazzling. They want to put jewels down there and then make normal college students fish them out, perhaps to trade them for extra cash to get textbooks or foodstuffs.
They are exploiting the poor pockets of college students and using it to trick them into gay touches and worse! Sickos and they will burn! Look at their manual! Warning: The following documentation contains offensive images and reveals a new part of the homogay agenda. Fervently pray for these homos to burn and then demand women and children of any age to leave the room before reviewing.
Gay Agenda Creates Penazzling – Moral Alert – The www internet links below veil images that contain the gay agenda. Do not allow any of these to be clicked with women or children present within the same room. Thank you.
Evidence 1: Gay Agenda Penazzling
Now on this next one we see a gay hairstylist removing a man’s natural pride hair to make the area smooth for gay jewels.
Evidence 2: Gay Agenda Penazzling 2
I still haven’t quite figured out the next one but urbans blacks must somehow be involved from the gang sign.
Evidence 3: Gay Agenda Penazzling 3
Photo Evidence 4: Gay Agenda Penazzling 4
Photo Evidence 5: Gay Agenda Penazzling 5 (sick)
Please feel free to take a few minutes to heave from this filth.
Fellow parents, this is sick. Sometimes I just grow weary because the gays never give up on trying to find ways to molest kids, even when they are in college.
I know the stats don’t lie and for everyone one gay, four children get molestered. I know it but still I’m just bewildered at the lengths these sick Satan whores will go through to corrupt our children.
Right now we need to pray. Gays are hellbound and they will never stop trying to find ways to get more to jump onto their bandwagon. Let us please pray that they get seared for all eternity. Let us pray for our sons in college because they have so many threats to face that try to knock them off the path God has chosen for their lives.
- Sinful
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- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Abe
If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack.
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12:44 am
The man in those photographs is straight. Can you prove otherwise?
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1:04 am
He is making gay signs with his hand
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1:16 am
I study hand symbols. That hand symbol is a bastardised version of the Vitarka Mudra, a buddhist hand symbol for intelligence and wit. Buddhism is against homosexuality.
Your evidence has been proven false. What other evidence of homosexuality do you have?
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12:04 pm
Nice copy and paste to make yourself sound smart.
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8:16 pm
Sorry? Where did I copy and paste from? I’m taking a course that touches on Buddhism at university. You’re quite quick to accuse. I thought Christians were supposed to assume good faith.
Anyway, I misinterpreted the image. He’s just telling the body artist how big to make the symbol and where he wants it. Clearly, that’s a homosexual hand symbol.
So. Tell me how he’s gay.
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5:09 am
No response. My my, Bowers. How cowardly.
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3:21 am
This is RIDICULOUS.
“and now they are adorning their twiddles with diamonds because they no college kids are poor.”
They no?
It’s “know.”
Ignorance at it’s finest. If you’d like me to submit of my non-penazzled region, I’d be more than happy to. (Considering you’re mostly closeted homosexuals, i’m sure you’d “get off” from it)
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10:46 am
Abe, who the f**k gives a f**king s**t about “Penazzling”? Why do you hate gays so much? I may be straight, but I know someone, actually numerous people, who are gay. They never did anything bad to me, they just have a good sense of humor, a great intelligence, artistic minds, good manners, an many other good qualities. In my opinion, they are our equals. Why should people let sexuality separate them? What ever happened to adjusting and applying the Declaration of Independence to modern times, that “All men are created equal” and that they are given the unalienable right of the pursuit of happiness? If you dislike them so much, get the f*ck out of our country, and never return. It is the 21st century, get used to diversity, for it is what makes the world such a great place.
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11:19 am
Well if they wanted to be men, they wouldn’t choose to be sicko gays and want to be women. “All MEN are created equal”.
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3:33 pm
Oh ho ho Mr. Nelson you have just pissed me off. I have never once tried to act like a woman as a gay man, I enjoy fashion but the fashion I dress myself with is MALE fashion. I really don’t understand what you mean by gay men trying to be women? Not all of us are transvestites and whats wrong with those who are? I’m sorry we weren’t all born exactly the way god intended? Wait what’s that? God is perfect! He doesn’t make mistakes, he made me the way I am and he intended for me to have a happy life. Go die you homophobic ass-hole
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11:20 am
As a gay man I go around all the time trying to get into the pants of straight men, it’s like my national pastime. It’s not like I could actually have morals (gasp!) or common decency (gasp!) or any kind of sense in right from wrong. It’s not like I make a conscious effort every day to NOT look at guys in any way other than a professional one.
There’s absolutely no way I didn’t know about penazzling (is that even a word?) before I read this article, and as a college student, I have just PILES of cash lying around to tempt other men. It’s not like I myself am up to my ears with debt.
Of course I’m majoring in secretary/nursing/fashion design and similar, I and every gay fits precisely within the norms specified in this article, just like every single group of people can be generalized together.
Yes, I want so many more people to be gays, I haven’t filled this month’s quota yet. It isn’t like I wish I WEREN’T gay. I definitely don’t WISH I was straight.
Oh yes, this article is just filled with reason, all of it’s true, I go out of my way EVERY DAY to corrupt normal, god fearing men.
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4:18 pm
See they even admit what they do. Know you can repent and not burn in hell though.
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12:24 pm
so i take it you spat out your morning bran flakes again abe?
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6:53 pm
This reminds me of how the peacock needs flamboyant feathers to attract the attention of potential mates. Surely the same process is going on here, but who would find shaved male body party attractive? And that jewelry that looks like half-digested gum drops? Yuck, just yuck. I don’t know why these perverts have so much time on their hands but I wonder how many of them are taking welfare checks from Obama while buying high fashion clothes and cavorting half naked with each other in these ways. Why must these types always think about sex and sex and more sex? It truly is a mental defect.
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5:34 pm
Why do fundamentalist Christians always focus on the sexual aspects of the relationship? It’s a bit of a mixed message when God loves you and everyone else is just out to bang you.
Homosexuals have romance, just like Christians do. They look for the same things in their partners that Christians do. They want someone who understands, who cares, who will hold them when their life seems too difficult, who will share jokes and swap stories and discuss books with them.
But if you take Billings at his word, Homosexuality is all about the bumpin’ and humpin’. Which says not only a lot about his perspective on Homosexuality, but also his perspective on relationships in general.
Do you have a wife, Billings? Do you think of her as a sexual plaything, or is there something deeper there?
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3:47 pm
Wow….you really work at being ignorant, don’t you?
Just so you know…a single, non working person receives ~$125 monthly in food stamps, depending on the state. Only mothers can receive cash benefits (as far as I am aware, state laws may vary) and the amount is ~$150 monthly for one child, and ~$25 more per month per additional child. So, yeah, man, these childless college kids are kicking back in there welfare riches. Seriously, do you EVER read ANYTHING other than fundie bullshit conspiracy theories?
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7:17 pm
Dickorating, surely.
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2:31 pm
Molestered is not a word. You are not a Christian This is not an article. Gays are not peadophiles. Need I go on?
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2:53 pm
Billings why you think about young boy young boy and young Boy is it a Mental defect or you are a Pedophile ??? I guess Both
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3:02 pm
lol this website cracks me up. the articles are pretty funny but the funniest thing is the lack of a sense of humor everyone has. It seems that there isn’t a single person who comments that knows what satire is. Please keep taking this seriously though, I’m entertained.
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10:03 pm
Dickorating, surely.
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12:33 pm
So old hat, but… most child molesters identify as straight men. Just repeating the facts that have been out there for years. Also, where do you come up with these motivations??? Ima just paraphrase it real fast for you to read. ‘The gays decorate their genital region so that they can get poor college students to reach into their pants and collect the jewels to exchange for money.’ I am honestly extremely curious about how you extrapolated that conclusion.
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1:47 pm
About time men are getting bedazzled to please their partners!!!
I only hope this trend catches on with straight men! When I blow my husband, it can be like navigating through a forest down there!
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8:48 pm
file:///Users/Geoff/Desktop/Picture%202.png
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12:55 pm
Wait, this is supposed to be brilliant satire, right? In which case, as a gay man I found it hilarious.
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5:09 pm
At last someone who gets it… I swear this is the funniest site I’ve ever seen!! Bless those people who don’t get the humour – I bet they think ‘Borat’ is really from Kazakhstan too!!…..
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5:24 pm
Lerniang a ton from these neat articles.
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5:52 pm
It’s not homosexual or “loose women”, as this site claims, bringing America to it’s knees. It’s thinking like this that is destroying people. The Christianity that I was raised on preached charity and kindness towards all people.
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6:49 pm
As the author claims to have a son in college, he probably should have asked him to edit this article. “because they (no) college kids are poor”. By the way this is the first time I’ve heard of someone getting “molestered”. Someone has molestered the English language here. That must of taken days to type in using the hunt and peck method.
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6:53 pm
Clearly this blog is a satire, y’all. It’s effin’ hilarious. Nice work.
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9:40 am
I think only Casey really knows what is going on. This is brilliant satire, but i think the best part of satire is when people take it seriously!
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10:52 pm
It’s high time we acknowledge homosexuality for what it is: a multilevel marketing company. You know, like Amway? Gay guys actually get paid EVERY MONTH for each guy they turn, you know . . . that’s why they prey on the young, so they have paychecks for many years to come!
The extremely high levels of sexual activity and satisfaction are NOT the goal of gay people – that’s only a side effect of being a very good recruiter!
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12:53 am
You just keep proving my point that religious zealots are retards, so thanks Derek! Nice work with all the typos and preposterous Dark Ages logic.
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10:17 am
I keep thinking these things are being ironic because they are so idiotic that I don’t see how a sentient being could take them seriously.
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