NATO F-16 Jets Attack God, Get Damaged by Volcano Ash

Europe is still being crippled by God’s volcanic fury, so today the sinner’s of NATO decided to run a strafing mission against God!

They ordered a death squadron powerful F-16 fighters jet to attack God’s volcano, hoping somehow to weaken him as to avoid this great pillar of smoke he has caused to spread over the whole of Europe.

Guess what? Attack failed!

Insider reports said the planes did all sorts of desperate things, including “spray and pray” and barrel rolls. The only thing that was rolling around when this little aerial batter was all over is the hellbound body of the pilot!

According to reports, the plane suffered massive engine damage. God simply blew a but of volcano dust right into the engines of the jet when he saw it coming towards where he had some of his angels stationed:

BRUSSELS — A senior Western diplomat says several NATO F-16 fighters suffered engine damage after flying through the volcanic ash cloud covering large parts of Europe.

The official declined to provide more details on the military flights, except to say that glasslike deposits were found inside the planes’ engines after they patroled over European airspace.

Last week, two Finnish Air Force F-18 fighter-bombers suffered similar damage while flying through the ash plume that has paralyzed air traffic over much of Europe. Both landed safely, but their jet engines will require expensive overhauls.

Volcanic ash tends to stick to a jet engine’s interior parts, such as the turbines, where it melts to form a glassy coating. This restricts air flow and heats up the engine, leading to engine failure.

There were no casualties because God is kind and merciful, and was not in a very wrathful mood toward pilots today.