Grandmother. That gentle word evokes images of Hallmark cards at Christmastime, hearty hugs and the scent of potpourri. Maybe that word also represents your anchor of family faith, reminding us that Jesus Christ is vital in our days and nights no matter how bitter a life we have lived nor how weak one’s mind has become. Yet one X-rated comedienne has dedicated her career to destroying that beautiful image. She wants nothing more than to make Grandmothers everywhere icons of radical lifestyles and cultural “hipness”. The woman in question is aging actress Betty White and she is using our televisions to pump the American family full of uncensored propaganda and celebrity-style “ethics.”
You may think of the naïve and clumsy 88-year-old Mrs. White and say to yourself that the title of this article is unnecessarily provocative. That was not my intention, for Mrs. White genuinely poses a danger to the American institution of grandmotherhood that is so important to the Christian community. Ultimately, the agenda that this woman promotes threatens everything that our American Grandmothers like Barbara Bush represent. No longer is Nana nurturing our souls with chicken soup and Clark’s bars. Grams has given up on Junior’s schooling and Bible study. No, this woman beckons our Grandmothers to hang out with grimy celebrities and San Francisco radicals, to donate our savings to animal causes, to use the media to criticize modern decency. White does this by manipulating our instinctive respect for the elderly. With a soft voice, she encourages us to sample the fruit of the tree, to leap from the bridge, to embrace a host of suspicious lifestyle choices. Behind the kind eyes of Betty White verily lives a serpent. (“The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” –Genesis 3:12).
What makes the image that White promotes so disturbing is that it’s unassuming. She seems harmless enough on a late-night show. You may even chuckle at her simplistic comedy. But before you know it, you’ve been drawn through the looking glass into Betty’s world of illicit humor and cheesecake choices. She has a reputation for mocking and ripping apart everything in her path. This comes from her insatiable craving for power. At the 2009 Golden Globes, she disparaged beautiful actress Sandra Bullock on live television, calling her “plain looking,” drawing embarrassed gasps from the audience. Lately, she has set her sights on the nationally broadcast show “Saturday Night Live.” It gives unprecedented access to the entire country, a full hour of uncensored and live television where she can promote her agenda without limits. When Betty commanded the people of the internet to force NBC executives to give her control of the show, it was only a matter of days before 500,000 people signed on to her Facebook group. TV executives caved in to her lust, not quite knowing what to expect from this power-mad matron. The FCC censors will surely be busy the night of May 8th. One can only hope that it will not be a repeat of her offensive roles on cartoons such as “The Simpsons” and “Family Guy.”
The hidden recesses of Betty White’s world can be even more troubling when put under the fresh light of sanity. Her actions off the screen bring up questions about the safety of those around her. On the liberally-biased program “Boston Legal,” White played a gun-toting criminal next to heavyset Jewish-Canadian actor William Shatnet. Life imitated art this past January when Mrs. White secretly called in death threats to fellow Golden Girls actress Rue McClanahan. At stake were the hundreds of thousands of dollars in residual profits that the last surviving character will reap from the show. Continuing along her odd fascination with guns, Mrs. White is also a member of a celebrity militia group, with all the access to soldiers and weapons that that association suggests. Her infamy has even earned her a nickname in the black “hip hop” community which honored her with the title, “The Notorious B.M.W” (her middle name is Marion and she loves German sportscars).
Despite the widespread recognition that White does not represent the wholesomeness of America, that she promotes the fetishization of cat ownership and promiscuity, she has persevered and even thrived financially. Who is responsible for this? It should come as no surprise that the Homosexuals of America are to blame. As I have explored in the investigative article, “The Golden Girls: How One TV Show Turned A Generation Of American Boys Into Homosexuals”, many men in the 1980s became gay because of Betty White’s on-screen antics. Today’s gays now feel that they owe Betty White and are lavishly repaying the debt (see examples here and here and here).
Sadly, the problem of Betty’s White’s homosexual army goes much deeper. These are men who are unnaturally devoted to everything and anything Betty White (see “If Betty White sold Depends, I’d buy ‘em”). They snap up her products at a fever pace, watch her programs religiously, write blogs and Facebook about her. They need her in their lives. The reason why the homosexual needs White as much as she needs their gay dollars is rooted in their own failings. Surely she is a surrogate grandmother, one who doesn’t reject their sassy ways and 1950s furniture, their outspoken liberalism and their frequent “houseguests” with their thick chest hairs luxuriously bursting from the tops of their ragged tanktops. These are a dangerous people, obsessed with libidinously sampling ethnic diversity and cunningly networking themselves into the highest echelons of American society, bent on dominating their heterosexual masters, whom they scheme to bend over office desks and against factory walls as they push and push for more special rights from those who do everything in their power to resist that painfully sweat-drenched invasion of America’s most precious principles. Yes, Americans need to demand that this foul-mouthed, promiscuous senior citizen Betty White retire right now. But watch out, she has a gun.