My friends, it is with a joyous heart that I have an announcement to make unto you. I have been selected to oversee a court of law.
Several weeks ago, I received a letter from the government stating that I have been selected to be a judge of the courts. They probably read my journalism and see how God leads me to make good decisions in judging the guilty.
Due to this, they demand that I now come into even the courtrooms themselves so I may condemn those who have broken the Christian edicts of our nation. They want me to, tell them who is standing right and not guilty by evidence, or those in my heart who I know stand guilty!
This task surely will require much energy and prayer, so I will be taking a hiatus from journalism and environmental science while I do this duty for our country. I will not be able to tell you the details of the work they need me to do for court, but tomorrow at 5:30 am I will take off toward the courtrooms so that we may hopefully condemn some sinners like sneaking Mexis, gays, urbans and so forth, the usual criminals. Those who look unto terrorism.
I pledge that I will return after my duty to God and country has been served, as I join the echolons of Judges of history. Until next time my dear friends, be well and let us continue to make America a moral nation under God, embracing its Christian heritage.