• Despite Legal Questions, British People Go Ape For “Monkey Voting”

    May 4, 2010 9:11 pm 49 comments
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  • The British are up to their queer tricks once again! The same people who brought the world the antics of Oscar Wilde and John Cleese, have now invented something called “monkey voting.” As the video below shows, it’s an odd service that the Labour-controlled government provides for shut-ins, welfare recipients and other strange English people. Call up your local “estate council” office and they’ll send a trained monkey to pick up your ballot form for the next election. No need to take off your pajamas or even put on a pair of shoes, the dutiful “ballot monkey” will do everything for you!

    There is a humorous side to this “monkey voting” trend, but one has to wonder if these creatures are displacing human workers. Are they so flush with money in England that they can afford an entire army of trained monkeys to service their needs? Does this not ultimately reinforce the laziness of the many, many people on government-subsidized service in Great Britain? A democracy that prides itself on hard work and independence like the United States of America would never legalize such a thing, yet those queer Brits seem to be having a grand old time with their hairy helpmates.

    Fraud should also be concern here. There’s no telling if ballots are altered in little monkey hands. Maybe this doesn’t matter. I doubt the Brits are cognizant enough to notice if the will of the populace was replaced by the will of a million simian primates screeching for fruit. Remember, this is the same country that lost one of the greatest empires the world has ever known because they didn’t know how to plug a few holes in a few leaky ships… The same country that today worships an old lady who looks like a trucker in a bra… The same country whose biggest contribution to the global fight on terror is a few dozen weak-wristed troops in soft red berets…

    From a broader perspective, does this humanization of monkeys reflect the agenda of radical groups like PETA who seek to give God’s lesser creatures the same rights as man? Could this be some underhanded attempt by Atheist and anti-Christian groups to familiarize human beings with monkeys as a way to promote anti-creationist ideologies, like Darwin’s evolution thesis? Time will only tell, but it does remind me of this quote from one of my favorite all time movies:

    “To suggest that we can learn anything about the simian nature from a study of man is sheer nonsense. Why, man is a nuisance. He eats up his food supply in the forest, then migrates to our green belts and ravages our crops. The sooner he is exterminated, the better. It’s a question of simian survival.” –Dr. Zaius, Planet of the Apes.


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    About The Author
    Stephenson Billings Stephenson Billings is an Investigative Journalist, Motivational Children's Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector all in one special, blessed package! Facebook me here or Fanmail me: StephensonBillings@yahoo.com !

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