Japanese Allow New ‘I-Fairy” Robot To Conduct Marriage Weddings
My friends, I am getting sick and tired of the Japanese and their dire threat robots.
We already have caught the following creations from their menacing yet quick Asian hands:
- Scary Japanese Robot Threat to America, Earth
- Japan Allies with China to Create Giant Firebreathing Robots
- Japan Creates Sex Robot
Now if all that wasn’t enough, they have created yet a new monster that threatens our morals and traditions!
They call this one the “I-Fairy”, a little 4-foot terror that is doing the job of a pastor! Robots cannot be pastors and have NO right to marry a couple, even Japanese!
Reports say that at the first I-Fairy wedding, the Tokyo Japanese sat quietly in chairs with their big smiles like all was normal. They watched the little bride walk down the aisle like this was just common to have a robot pastor!
As the bride walked down the aisle and a Japanese organ played “Here Comes the Bride”, reports say its “eyes flashes and plastic pigtails glinted”. That is nothing short of heresy against traditional marriage!
The robot then actually said, and I aren’t making it up you see-saw liberals, it says “Please lift the bride’s veil.”
It then waved its arms all around like the good Pope and then the Japanese kissed and all 50 people applauded. This is not normal to have robot pastor, no applause!
I am so angry right now I wish this were World War II and Harry Truman elected me to drop nukes all over! I would skip the small towns and head straight to Kokoro factory in Tokyo! Nukes away! You can’t just get away with defiling the sanctity of marriage and not pay for your sins, you will get nuked in hell for all time!
They say the first I-Fairy restaurant took place in Hibiya park in central Tokyo, were all the Japanese gathered around and at their octopus, moshi moshi and whatever other dishes they like, probably dog or cat. Rice.
Then the fake robot pastor walked in and greeted everyone. It had a wreath of floors and black wires sticking out of its back. It tried to veil all these robot parts under a black curtain to its back (designed to look like a robe).
In researching this new threat to the sanctity of marriage, I found that the company who makes this robot is owned by the same company who peddles Hello Kitty filth in America. So if you are against gay marriage or this robot conducted marriage, you should definitely help us boycott Hello Kitty.
I called Kokoro and got an American Japanese on the phone and yelled at him, he said he understands my frustration and company would send me a letter about this. I asked the price and he said they cost about 6 million Japanese yen dollars (and my calculations show this is only around $600.000 in our real American dollar money), which shows the Japanese will give up their entire life savings just to pervert marriage!
Sicko Japan! Whoever does this is worse than the gays and murders who have no respect for natural law! Marriage is to between a man and woman and verified by the pastor of the church! Heathen Japanese robot scientists, know that you will meet hellfire for your sins!
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Abe
If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack.
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4:31 pm
It’s not even a Christian ceremony. It’s what they want to do in Japan, what the hell has it got to do with you? So you accept a marriage conducted by some american pastor who bought his qualification online? Haven’t you got enough problems in the US without worrying about anyone else’s? The church being full of kooky obsessive freaks for example? Oh sorry, I forgot, you are one.
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4:49 pm
“I wish this were World War II”
Well, that’s a warning sign if I ever did see one.
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5:08 pm
I agree. The Christian values of the modern american church, a church by the way that is more than happy preaching morality to others. I’m afraid the irony is lost on them.
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8:41 pm
hmmm japanese don,t eat dog and cat actually there is a small part of china ( its only in one province in the south and not everyone eats dogs and cats ) japanese eats fish it’s why they are intelligent
as for the robotic fairy priest it,s none of your Business and christian didnt invent marriage Try again later
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10:20 pm
Don’t want a robot wedding? Don’t have one. Simple as that. When you try to run other people’s lives is when you get slapped. Keep your values to yourself and let the rest of the world think for themselves. Trust me, they are actually capable.
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3:03 am
marriage is not a christian thing. church marriges are but some how i doubt this was done in a church so you have no say in wether this was right or wrong
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2:04 pm
Who cares if your offended by a robot wedding? most japanese people arent christian..
and boycotting hello kitty would be as stupid as you are.
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7:48 pm
Boycotting hello Kitty ? hahaha really you know that hello kitty are aimed at girl mostly ? and its, not because of 10-20 old christian Man that hello kitty will actually be drawn into bankrupty
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8:37 pm
Are most gays only four feet tall??? “Laughing out Loud!” I think this is grotesque of course, but these gays are hiliarious when you look at them in the right light.
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9:29 pm
Say that to my gay friend who’s 6’8″ and he’ll make you wish you’d never been born. But then again, like most gays, he’s a total sweetheart and wouldn’t hurt a fly.
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10:11 pm
Sounds monstrous!
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10:29 pm
And YOU sound turned on.
Sorry Billings, but he’s also fat. I can personally confirm to you that he has a tiny dick. Sorry to rain on your parade.
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12:56 am
More like “Oooh, sounds positively monstrous!”
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10:12 pm
Or say it to my bisexual friend. He’d break your spine in six places if you weren’t just a stupid, loudmouthed bigot, slamming your fat head on the keyboard in a desperate bid for attention, bragging about the physically-worrying size of your dick and railing against blacks, gays and women in idiotic diatribes that I’m certain your mother thinks are wonderful but that we recognise as the pathetic hate-speech that it is.
Just no that you have no influence, you flaccid, impotent, pathetic specimen of humankind.
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10:15 pm
Please calm down there, little man.
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10:28 pm
Aww, am I being too wuff on widdle Billingsy-Willings? Is it too much to handle? Did I use too many long words for you?
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1:45 am
watch out. billings can’t be made mad because he is strong in his faith but if you keep up with this he might just *gasp* use caps lock.
truely when he does get made it’s a fearful sight…wait no that was another guy billings is like a 4 year old who got his candy taken.
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12:39 am
What makes a pastor a pastor? Does god kiss his forehead or something?
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1:55 am
no a Pastor is someone who got his license on the Internet hahaha
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2:06 pm
Marriage Weddings.
That sounds absolutely redundant.
Marriage Weddings.
Don’t be redundant and say the same thing twice.
Also you really shouldn’t have said “and I aren’t making it up” because that sounds clunky and is grammatically incorrect. The correct phrase would have been “I am not making it up.”
Oh also, why do you care if the japanese have big ol’ robot weddings. The national religions are ShintÅ and Buddhism, which means you already think they’re going to burn in hell. (Though a majority of the Japanese are Atheists. Fun fact. 64% of them, in fact.)
tl;dr
ROBOTS PEW PEW
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2:08 pm
I should make a note that “don’t be redundant and say the same thing twice” was a really bad grammar joke, but then I remembered the caliber of people that are on this website and thought I should take a moment to explain that.
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6:32 pm
Its. Fake. Open your eyes. No one is this stupid and can have such a popular site. They make fun of Christian’s constantly. And by not realizing this, you are commenting viciously and thereby proving that a sensible person
can be just as big of an asshole as a bible thumper.
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11:04 am
Funnily enough, Mr. Billings, if you actually paid any attention at all to any news program on Earth, you’d know that the Japanese yen is, on average, about 100 yen to the dollar, rather than 10 yen to the dollar and so it would actually cost roughly $60,000 which is way cheaper than your estimation. Also, I highly doubt that anyone would buy one for their wedding only, and then never use it again. I’d say that the church would buy one for itself as a full time priest, which over time would be cheaper based one the fact that you only pay for it once, unlike a human, and repair costs are few and still inexpensive in comparison.
Also, don’t be such a jerk towards robots. True, they may not have emotions with which to care, but we rely on them for a lot, and generally, the robots Japan makes these days are designed with the intent of being user-friendly, and they’re very enjoyable to be around.
Besides, being as mean as you are towards the i-Fairy doesn’t win you points for ‘helping get us off evil’ (which you aren’t since it’s not evil). It’s just being mean and horrible to something cute and innocent, which doesn’t receive well with just about all of humanity.
And finally, stop wishing to nuke Japan to complete destruction, because chances are they developed at least part of the technology in your house, have played a big part in the advancement of technology on this planet which we humans find to be particularly useful, and generally, the majority of them are very nice people that enjoy the wonders and changes of life a great deal more than you, which is pretty good since the value of a person’s life is determined not by fighting the supposed evil that never did anything wrong in the first place, but by enjoying every aspect of your life and by making other people happy too, because generally, and quite possibly unfortunately for you, people who are genuinely happy live longer and more enjoyable lives.
Life is temporary, so at least try and see what it’s like to get over all the things you perceive as evil and maybe notice the beauty of a butterfly or something.
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9:53 pm
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