• World of Warcraft to Release Justin Bieber Expansion in August

    May 12, 2010 8:22 pm 47 comments
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  • One of the most dangerous threats to our children, nationwide, is a new game named World of Warcraft.

    Studies into this game reveals how it is designed to introduce children to black magic and death cults. The game is designed to be as addictive as cocaine.

    Last year we worked with The Daily Mail to break a story on how by triggering the addiction-pleasure centers of the brain, World of Warcraft caused an addicted teenager to have convulsions and a near-death seizure after he could not stop playing the game over a 24-hour-period.

    This game is dangerous and is contributing to the failing number of men reaching collegiate level of studies. World of Warcraft’s only weakness, however, has been on ongoing struggle to attract female video game player to buy into its platform. It would seem that females would tend to shy away from the type of men who succumb to the sweaty, sloven World of Warcraft lifestyle.

    So it should come as no surprise that Justin Bieber’s marketing executives have taken notice of this game and made an offer that Blizzard, the parent company of World of Warcraft, cannot refuse: attract girl gamers.

    Justin Bieber has proven his merit as one who can team up with urban singers to produce music that seduces young girls. This is the greatest dream of San Francisco liberals and Hollywood executives, and now apparently, Blizzard.

    The new expansion will allegedly feature songs by Justin Bieber and a way to unlock him as a character. Producers from Blizzard speculate that by offering in-game items and starting grassroot “Biebercraft” communities, that potential girl gamers will buy into their markets.

    This is a train-wreck waiting to happen: the meeting of the sick men who stay cooped in basements playing this game for hours on end, and fresh daughters who play this game after school and being able to Myspace chat to each other online. This will lead to child abductions and Blizzardcon orgy abductions that Pastor Gould warned about.

    Let us place Biebercraft expansion on our boycott list and in the coming days, we will organize an official petition for you to sign so this game will not be released.

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