New Dangerous Subculture: Teen Werewolves
Twilight is a scary book series which teaches children how to do vampire cult rituals. After seeing Twilight, teens are at least 30% more likely to become enraged and partake in bizarre acts and violence.
Only last year, in Des Moines, Iowa, a 13-year-old boy went on a biting spree and with daily spurts of unprecedented strength and quickness, was able to brutally bite eleven classmates.
The Des Moines Register covered this shocking story, which reveals the boy’s bizarre behavior started after watching the movie Twilight. The boy’s father said his son had never done such things, and only started to do so after watching Twilight.
In Lake Stevens, Washington, tragedy struck after a large group of school children went to see Twilight. Teachers and school administrators began to notice bizarre behavior among the children: shying away from light, wearing dark colors and sneaking off to the nearby wood during recess time between classes.
Then one day, two children did not return from recess. The children were figured missing or abducted, but were purportedly found deep within the nearby wood.
Sources reveal that a girl who watched Twilight, several times, enticed one of the victims — a boy — to follow her into the woods after giving him a mystic hug. In a lull, the boy followed but when he reached the wooded area, was accosted by the lot of school children who watched Twilight earlier in the week. They savaged the boy’s neck with multiple bites, and they did the same to the second victim.
When the initiating truth to this story broke in the Daily Herald, there was a rightful furor and panic within the town. After the scary and bizarre account started to gain national traction, school officials were suddenly ordered to deny all claims and media reports, as if these events never transpired.
There was no silencing the people of this small town, however, and the people of the Lake Stevens community know that Twilight made their town awash with vampires. Twilight lulled their children into a vampire mind-state.
So it is with no surprise that today we find a new spreading danger among the teenage cohort: werewolfism. Even as students are enjoying summer break, officials throughout the nation are recording bizarre events where ‘packs’ of teens are seen running around wildly at night, nipping at people unfortunate enough to be out. The behavior has been most noted during full moons.
Rural communities have reported the incidence of teens attacking their chicken coops, making away with frantically flailing chickens who only leave behind a trail of loosened feathers of despair in their wake. Only last night in Brooklyn, two young women were overpowered and bitten by a man with ‘oblonged pointy ears, yellowish eyes and sharp teeth’. One managed to escape, and according to initial reports, one is still missing.
It is no coincidence that the new Twilight movies now also feature werewolves, and as we can see, there is already a burgeoning statistic for children who are practicing wolf-like behavior. We can only expect this dangerous trend and crime-style to increase. In the following video, we take a more in-depth look and analysis of this dangerous new Twilight Werewolf trend.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Dan Nordgren
Born and raised in upstate New York, Dan Nordgren is currently a film student who enjoys martial arts, mountain climbing and football as components of his very active life. Join Team Sarah TODAY
12:44 pm
There are no werewolves, vampires or little green men.
And, and “Jesus” and “god” are man-made inventions, too.
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1:27 pm
“Twilight is a scary book series”
Scary? More like idiotic.
“After seeing Twilight, teens are at least 30% more likely to become enraged and partake in bizarre acts and violence.”
Source, please?
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11:46 pm
“After seeing Twilight, teens are at least 30% more likely to become enraged and partake in bizarre acts and violence.”
If you had been subjected to that crap, you would be enraged too.
If by “bizarre acts” you mean mass book burnings of terrible writing, then hell yeah, that figure is correct.
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2:38 pm
I forgot about that boy who tried to suck the blood out of 11 of his classmates. How scary to know a book and movie series has such a strong psychological hold on our nation’s youth.
I fear to think what sort of pack attacks this movie will cause kids converted to werewolfism to partake.
I think we should ban this movie and book series.
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3:01 pm
Instead of banning everything you don’t agree with, I think maybe we should expect parents to take a more active role in PARENTING.
Convert to werewolfism? Are you serious? Damn you’re stupid…
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1:14 am
definitely agree with you…dont’ you hate it when hypocritical republicans criticize obama for being socialist and “making the government too powerful” and talk about wanting a free country, while they still want everything they don’t like (abortion, drugs, gay marriage, Twilight movies?, etc.) to be banned. Isn’t taking away peoples freedom to make their own choice about these things way more socialist than obama trying to help poor people dying on the street? I’m pretty damn sure it is.
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2:44 am
The sad thing is They name themselve ” republican” yet republicanism is Not that at all it’s not about religion even in republicanism there is socialism the republicanism in USA is something different people call That didactorship or totalitarian
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12:28 am
mystic hug ? werewolves ?? and to think i came to this website for answers !
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3:21 pm
“How scary to know a book and movie series has such a strong psychological hold on our nation’s youth.”
You are so right… that is amlost as bad as The Bible
Also abstinence is not effective against pregnancy just ask Mary
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6:00 pm
If anything, Twilight turns boys into freaking sparkling pansies, and the girls into lifeless and swooning fangirls. I read the entire series. Twilight was pretty good (not, great, mind you, but good enough) and the rest were crap. It just declined from there. The movie I didn’t bother with, because I could probably make a better film with $10 and a digital camera, with the neighborhood kids as my actors.
Still, though I liked the storyline of the first book, the Twilight series is starting to seriously undermine the intellect, individuality, and culture of my generation. Girls are mindless, annoying, and have no purpose in life, pretty much imitating Bella. Waiting around for the absolute perfect guy, who will, in most cases, never exist for her
Guys are generally trapped into reading/watching Twilight because of their girlfriends, or to get a girlfriend, in much the same way a lot of boys are adopting Justin Beiber’s hairstyle. It’s what the girls like, so if you have it, you’re in. Now most lame, monotone, moody, and sometimes fake.
Both gender’s basically end up one-dimensional, attempting to recreate the single-dimensional world out of Twilight, for various reasons.
HOWEVER, they don’t bite people. Of convert to a fake “werewolfism”. That’s retarded.
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6:19 pm
Please someone save my sanity and tell me this website is a joke!
If not I might have to reorganize reality so I don’t know it doesn’t exist.
Pretty please. I’ll even go as far as asking for god to tell me because after reading some of these articles I’m fairly sure anything is possible. If a pink unicorn flew in through the door right now I wouldn’t be surprised.
I’m starting to wonder if I might be high, don’t think so though and I’m fairly sure it was only one beer I had earlier.
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12:51 pm
What does any of this have to do with GOD? For a website that calls itself “ChristWire” I do not see anything in this post or any of the others I have read that has to do with the loving message of Jesus. These people give christians, and all religious people (of every faith) a bad name. This is Shameful!
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7:26 am
I think we have to give a special prize for
TEH STOOPIDEST LINE EVAR ON TEH INTERWEBZ!11!!
“mystic hug”
Seriously guys, this is hilarious. Dan, you are a special type of idiot.
—BobTheChairGuy
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12:03 pm
Somewhere in upstate NY there’s a village missing its idiot. Maybe we should tell them where to find Dan…
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6:51 pm
The village in NY does NOT want him back.
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4:33 pm
this whole website is one big joke. first of all the vampires in twilight arent afraid of light. infact they rather like it but just do go out in it becausethe sparkling will give them away. andd they dont walk around in all dark colors and goth make up on. they lookm like normal people, a little pale, but normal.
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7:56 pm
http://you-fail.me/
Response to Dan Nordgren.
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12:30 pm
This website is obviously satirical. Come on now, people.
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1:11 am
Well I am a teen werewolf but I have to say that I do not do that stuff… Biting necks and etc… Thats why you obey the movie rating PG-13? And a 11 year old is watching that twilight movie? Who’s fault is that if your child starts to act out what they see in the movie, Their kids watching something that exceeds them by two years kinda a big leap to to me. And no I am not dangerous bitting people and stealing chickens lol thats why I read by bible every so often so I don’t get ignorant like some of these other kids out here… >_> Glad I stopped being a Christian though and turned into a child of God this post is just rediculus for a Christian site..
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5:10 am
Seems Ive been found
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