USA! USA! USA!
Victory for America! What an exciting game of soccer!
Today, the World Cup 2010 pitted America against the soccer playing nation of Algeria. In Algeria, they force their boys as young as two or even three to begin training in the game of soccer.
Much like the warriors of old, they put the young boys through grueling soccer trials and tribulations so that when they grow old, they will be prepared for the World Cup. Algeria lives and breathes soccer, their teams hardened warriors of the fields.
Little did they know, however, that they would be facing the divine America men’s soccer team!
In the most exciting soccer game of all time, America destroyed even the soccer warriors of Algiers by a whopping score of 1 – 0. In a Hollywood finish, to please the fans, Landon Donovan scored a dramatic goal in the last minutes of the game.
It was a movie star kick. Time slowed down and you could actually hear the commentators voices becoming warped, as if you listened to the faint westward zephyr, you could even hear an inspirational song drifting down from the angel’s voices and instruments in heaven.
I looked at the coach and he was posed dramatically on the sideline, players jumping in slow motion behind him. The field was set for a miracle, and with a huff of his breath and flick of his fingers, God powered Donovan’s leg to kick that soccer ball upon a gust of wind from his very own lungs. It was a divine wind. A good wind.
And that ball sailed into the goal, giving America yet another victory, proving that America is the best at everything, including World Cup soccer. America is favored by God in heaven and this World Cup soccer is proving that even nation’s who force their sons to do soccer death matches since being toddlers have no comparison to Team America World Cup Soccer 2010.