Anal Bleaching, For the Sodomite Who Wants to Look His Best
Academic and corporate scientists are always looking for that magic fountain of youth to whiten our teeth, reduce fine lines and even make experienced women into veritable virgins again through an obscene procedure called “Labioplasty.” Now, homosexuals and pornography stars have found a new body part to improve: the anus. In something that truly pushes the limits of decency and common sense, a new trend is sweeping America. Its name is “Anal Bleaching” and its goal is to whiten and clean the rectal area of age spots, dark skin patches, discolorations, rashes and more.
For over a century, Americans have asked medical professionals for implausible bodily improvements. Liposuction, breast implants, plastic surgery– vanity seems to be important for those people who live solely on the surface, with no spiritual depth nor sense of charity. This is particularly true for those amongst us who have lived indulgent lives of drug and alcohol abuse, masturbation, adultery, cigarettes and worse. They define their personalities through sexual conquests or, if they are celebrities, through film and television appearances. Their face and their body is who they are and when they age past 30, they lose their sense of self.
For those who practice sodomy, there is an implicit admission that they do not want to live a normal life of righteous wholesomeness. Sexual intercourse was never meant for a body area that does contribute to procreation and is a straightforward avenue for the disposal of large body waste. Overuse of the anus can cause a host of problems including fatal rectal cancer. The fecal waste associated with the anus contains a high degree of bacteria and other dangerous elements and for this reasons, millennia of human beings have been keen on disposing of it properly and far from habitation. And yet, despite all the advances of human culture we now have a group of people who celebrate the anus and want to improve its appearance for their sexual mates. A sad but perfect example of this is the song, “What What in the Butt,” the most popular video on Youtube in 2009.
Blogger Jill Hamilton is one of those celebrating this new advance in perverse medical science. On her blog entitled “In Bed With Married Women,” she notes, “Those who don’t have the proper shade of pink can achieve colo-rectal perfection through anal bleaching.” An expert on the subject, Ms. Hamilton goes into great detail regarding the history of this reprehensible technique:
“The trend started with adult film stars who wanted to look their best in extreme butt close-ups. It gained ground when people started waxing the hell out their neither regions and discovered new body parts to fixate upon. Plenty of people have the time (and the inclination) to peer into their butts noting imperfections.” –Jill Hamilton, Is Your Anus Looking Its Whitest?
Sodomites across the world have welcomed Anal Bleaching hungrily. The creams and medicines are quite expensive, yet the industry is truly blooming. In turn, the amount of sodomy that people engage in is growing at record rates. As has been reported in many places across the internet, “Ever since the homosexual lifestyle became so visible and popular, straight couples have been tempted to experiment with this incredibly painful fornication situation. Now, to avoid pregnancy more and more teen girls are giving in to peer pressure and trying this extreme hardcore sexual perversionary act.” The danger for regular American society has been explained thusly, “For married couples, the interest in sodomy comes out of physical frustration or boredom. As years of marriage drag on, men and women seek new thrills to feel that same rush of their first copulation experience. What these couples really need is to find pleasure in parenting, to take joy in the athletic and academic successes of their children, to be humble but hardworking members of their community, whether it’s being more active in your church or volunteering to fight the homeless.” (Sodomy Is Never The Answer, November 11, 2009).
It is not clear if the Anal Bleaching technique is meant to cover up bruises or lashes from hardcore sadomasochist sessions that the homosexual often engages in. The abuse of the anus is a popular form of intercourse for those who have sex without a woman present. It also fits into the recent trend of online sex dating sites, where people post close-up photographs of their various sexual organs in an attempt to attract a mate. A boy with a pretty anus may be more attractive to the dominant homosexual, as a female porn star may get more work for the same reason.
Sadly, many a male homosexual has become obsessed with anal sex and fails to grow beyond that into a healthy relationship with those around him. In the “gay” world, the recipient of anal sex is labeled a “bottom” (in fact, in homosexual slang there are over 200 words to describe a sodomy receiver). These “bottoms” live solely through the act of being penetrated and find this a reasonable topic of conversation both in private and public. Ultimately, these types of homosexuals will disregard physical appearance, financial wellbeing and even ethnicity in the search for the perfect “top” man. Oddly enough, the “top” and “bottom” men often divide cleanly across ethnic lines, with Latinos and Blacks often describing themselves as tops and young White or Asian males, skinny and/or effeminate, often choosing the role of the “bottom.” A great number of interracial homosexual couples are linked by this perverse sexual equation.
The consequences of scientific and medicinal experimentation without any prior ethical public discussion are dire and unexpected. In this one simple case we see an increase not just in heterosexual sodomy, but in porn star performances and interracial homosexual copulation. What do our innovators have in store for us next? No one quites knows, but surely the future will be a minefield of dark, explosive degeneracy.
http://inbedwithmarriedwomen.blogspot.com/2010/07/is-your-anus-looking-its-whitest.html
- Sinful
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- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Stephenson Billings
Stephenson Billings is an Investigative Journalist, Motivational Children's Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector all in one special, blessed package! Facebook me here or Fanmail me: StephensonBillings@yahoo.com !
11:48 pm
“Sexual intercourse was never meant for a body area that does contribute to procreation”
Haha, way to not review your work before publishing it, Mr. “Journalist”. And who are you to lecture people about procreation? I don’t see you creating any children.
“The fecal waste associated with the anus contains a high degree of bacteria and other dangerous elements”
Pfft, as opposed to what, the fecal waste associated with the pinkie toe? The sentence “The fecal waste associated with the anus” is redundant, jackass.
“straight couples have been tempted to experiment with this incredibly painful fornication situation.”
Well stop the presses! Give me a fucking break, straight couples have been having anal sex since the beginning of time!
“It is not clear if the Anal Bleaching technique is meant to cover up bruises or lashes from hardcore sadomasochist sessions that the homosexual often engages in.”
It’s not. Human anuses are generally a darker color than the rest of the skin, which is sometimes seen as unattractive. If you weren’t so frightened of your own body (can’t blame you, though, I sure as hell wouldn’t want to see your hideous body) you’d know this already.
“These “bottoms” live solely through the act of being penetrated and find this a reasonable topic of conversation both in private and public. Ultimately, these types of homosexuals will disregard physical appearance, financial wellbeing and even ethnicity in the search for the perfect “top” man. Oddly enough, the “top” and “bottom” men often divide cleanly across ethnic lines, with Latinos and Blacks often describing themselves as tops and young White or Asian males, skinny and/or effeminate, often choosing the role of the “bottom.” A great number of interracial homosexual couples are linked by this perverse sexual equation.”
Um…okay. Look dude, my best friend is gay and I many people I know are gay, but even I never knew THAT much about “tops” and “bottoms”. You clearly know all this from personal experience.
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10:30 am
“And who are you to lecture people about procreation? I don’t see you creating any children.”
Yeah, I’m also quite curious as to how society reached the point where the people who don’t have sex are telling the people who do have sex how to have sex.
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7:15 pm
Hi Claire, I’m a little confused by your first couple of statements. I’m not sure what you mean to criticize? If you want to read the article again and email your personal issues, I will be happy to help you. As for the other solid expertise on the gay world, I have my internet researchers to thank for that. I aim to be quite accurate and having written on the gay lifestyle several times, I often have gay readers write in or post messages explaining different aspects of their lifestyle and the dangers therein.
Thanks again for the question!
Hot debate. What do you think?
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7:27 pm
“Hi Claire, I’m a little confused by your first couple of statements. I’m not sure what you mean to criticize?”
My first couple of statements? Well, in the first one I was making fun of the fact that you wrote “Sexual intercourse was never meant for a body area that does contribute to procreation” rather than “Sexual intercourse was never meant for a body area that does NOT contribute to procreation”.
And in my next one I was making fun of the redundancy of your statement: “The fecal waste associated with the anus contains a high degree of bacteria and other dangerous elements”, considering how fecal waste isn’t associated with any other part of the body except the anus/rectum/colon.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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11:04 am
It’s a fucking parody site, get over yourself.
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11:42 am
Jon, don’t be rude. Claire is a friend.
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11:59 pm
What’s funny to me is this: Those who condemn homosexuality to such a great extent do the most research on it and use the most vivid detail while describing intercourse.
In response to some of your comments, an examination is not the same as anal intercourse. I should know, I’ve done both.
Moreover, if you actually have read the Bible, you would know (I am sure) that God–although, I will agree, is against homosexuality–shows an ability to handle his own affairs and to handle situations which he created and from his creation (Man) on his own. Therefore, it is not your business, it is God’s business…if you truly believe in Him, that is. Try, therefore, doing yourself a favor and minding your own business. I’m sure God would approve of you leaving homosexuals alone and concentrating on your own life. Unless of course, homosexuality IS your life.
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11:25 pm
HAHAHA! My thoughts exactly. I guess we’re off the hook now, right?
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10:28 am
“volunteering to fight the homeless”
I think you got that a bit wrong. If not, then you wanker.
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7:57 pm
In the blue corner, weighing in at 160 pounds, we have Conner “the Cardboard Cutout” Dashfield. In the red corner, weighing in at 140 pounds, the undefeated champion, Louie “the Loser” Lopez!
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11:30 am
“Sexual intercourse was never meant for a body area that does contribute to procreation”
if that is the case then why does it give sexual pleasure?
sorry to tell you but basic biology disagress with you.
“for millennia of human beings have been keen on disposing of it properly and far from habitation”
is that why we stored it right beside our houses a few hundred years ago?
basic history buddy.
“straight couples have been tempted to experiment with this incredibly painful fornication situation.”
unless you have done it on what grounds can you call it incredibly painfull?
also people who do it enjoy it. i find reading the bible incredibly painful why isn’t that banned yet?
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12:59 pm
Anyone who has spent an hour with a proctologist knows that sodomy is painful.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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1:01 pm
anyone who spend 1 minute in a church or near a bible know christianity sucks and is boring.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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2:27 pm
“Anyone who has spent an hour with a proctologist knows that sodomy is painful.”
There must have been something incredibly wrong with your ass if the proctologist had to spend a whole hour up there. Or perhaps he/she was simply trying to navigate the sheer size of your tubes.
Oh, and not everybody finds anal stimulation to be painful. Some people find visits to the proctologist to be fine (many males actually get boners at the proctologist’s office, due to pressure on the prostate), while some find them painful. Just like how some women don’t mind going to the gynecologist, while others (myself included) find it very painful.
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3:43 pm
Claire, this is not the place to discuss my medical issues and yes, a proctological exam does take a long time.
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4:00 pm
“Claire, this is not the place to discuss my medical issues and yes, a proctological exam does take a long time.”
I’d rather not discuss your asshole either, but have you ever considered that your colo-rectal problems could be directly tied to your godawful diet?
Hot debate. What do you think?
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4:13 pm
Reverand Stephenson, once again thank you for expanding the entrance to my mind with your exceklenty researched articles, but I have a question: At my last prostate exam while my MD was, erm.. ‘mid-point’.. I involuntarily clenched. I knew it, he knew it, but my concern was that we would think somehow I was a liberal and was enjoying the procedure. Should I raise it with him at church next week? (ps I of course remain ‘natural’ colouring below)
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5:39 pm
Oh, great, now I am an “expert” on anal bleaching. Time to print up some new business cards.
jill
In Bed With Married Women
http://inbedwithmarriedwomen.blogspot.com
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6:25 pm
While I’m not going to question your expertise, I do have a completely unrelated question.
Abe is a racist, Amber is a dumb-ass, and Stephenson is a homophobe. I know there are other writers here, but what would they be classified as? I’m trying to remember this site’s characters. Mind helping me out? I just need a one or two word description of them that specifies their article writings.
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9:01 pm
I found out a couple more of them. Tyson is a crazy patriot and sinful_truth is a sexist troll, who also doubles as the absolute racist whenever Abe slips up his character.
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9:05 pm
shameful_truth, sinful_truth, whatever :\
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10:13 pm
The person you mentioned was an impostor who is no longer welcome in our Christian community.
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7:03 pm
Hi everyone, that note above is from Anal Bleaching Expert Jill Hamilton who writes a blog on Anal Bleaching and other bodily issues. While I find the content of her blog highly offensive and truly unsafe for internet surfers everywhere, her quotes were helpful in analyzing this growing problem.
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7:51 pm
I just realized Jill, the link to your blog in your signature is the right one, while the link that your name hotlinks to is misspelled and goes somewhere else o.o
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7:55 pm
Maybe it’s a sign that Jill yearns for a little Jesus in her life!
“THERE ARE APP. 10,285 PROPHECIES IN THE BIBLE AND EVERY ONE UP TO THIS TIME HAS COME TRUE WITHOUT ONE SINGLE EXCEPTION? THE FOOL HAS SAID IN HIS HEART THERE IS NO GOD-Ps 14:1.”
Wow, that’s really powerful stuff! Great job Jill!!!!
http://inbedwithmarriedwomen.blogpsot.com/
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9:56 pm
Billings, why did you put your honeymoon pics on this page. You know:
Congrats Billings!
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10:16 pm
Sorry but I find this picture repulsive.
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10:55 pm
If it’s so repulsive why did you put it in your article?
I don’t see what’s so repulsive about it. They’re both very good looking men.
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10:17 pm
Why did you publish this artical today and how did you konw that it is my birthdya.
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10:20 pm
Michael, happy birthday my dear friend! I hope you receive all the blessing and love you deserve!
Stephenson
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8:45 pm
Hahahaha…You people are fucking insane!
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11:19 pm
Anal… bleaching…
I think I may need to bleach my brain after the images this has conjured up.
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12:22 am
‘Tis a sick, sick world my friend. It’s not like the old days, but now we’re in the ones with the vote and the ones who can no to immorality– just remember that!
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9:13 pm
The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
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2:01 pm
It never ceases to amaze me how those that consider themselves moral upstanding citizens concern themselves so much with other people’s anuses. I’m not religious or spiritual at all, yet I don’t obsess about my own or other people’s anuses, much less try to tell them what they should or shouldn’t do to their own anus.
The author of this article can’t stop talking about anus abuse, fecal matter, homosexual and sadomasochistic acts, and “dark, explosive degeneracy” (sounds like a euphemism for something, doesn’t it?). I’m generally not one to give moral advice on sexual matters, but Mr. Billings here seems to have an unhealthy obsession with anal sex, and sexual deviancy.
Get your mind out of the gutter. The rest of the world doesn’t care.
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7:14 pm
AAAARRRRGGGG GARGGARG!!!! *drool* RAAAAAWR NAR GAK.
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5:02 pm
How is Christ’s name can you even publish this? If we are not to cause others to stumble (1 Corinthians 10), aren’t you essentially encouraging some to pollute their minds? There are enough media outlets ready and willing to publish articles like these. So what is your motivation or your point for that matter? Seriously.
Said another way: You walk into your living room one day and there is Jesus sitting on the couch. He says “Hi, I’m here to help you today. What’s on your mind?” And you say “I have this article I’m thinking about writing on anal bleaching and the sodomite. What do you think?” And He says…..
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5:21 pm
“Dennis Corle was born November 14, 1954, and born again January 15, 1975. Almost immediately after his salvation, he was sure that God had placed a call on his life to preach the Gospel, and especially for the field of evangelism. Throughout these years, God has used his preaching, teaching and writing in a dynamic way to affect the lives of people across America and all over the world. He is a full-time evangelist preaching in over 100 churches each year, editor of the monthly newspaper Revival Fires!, conference speaker, and college professor as well as an author. His books include: The Crucified Life, Repentance Unto Life, The Chemisty of Separation, The Discipline of Prayer, The Biblical Philosophy of Soulwining, Elements of Godly Character Volumes 1, 2 and 3, The Pied Piper of Rock Music, Living Up To Your Name, The Modern Day Tongues Phenomena, Why Our Children Are In Crisis, How to Do Personal Work At The Altar, the Reaching The World One Door At A Time Soulwinning Presentation, and a series of children’s books entitled FUN-damentals for Kids.”
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4:12 am
Is anal sex painful? I’ve no idea. Let’s do a survey of altar boys who’ve been abused by priests and find out. If God calls priests to serve, why does He choose so many bad ones?
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4:20 am
References? For ANY of your points? Specifically:
Overuse of the anus can cause a host of problems including fatal rectal cancer.
Sodomites across the world have welcomed Anal Bleaching hungrily. The creams and medicines are quite expensive, yet the industry is truly blooming. In turn, the amount of sodomy that people engage in is growing at record rates (3 references for this one)
Now, to avoid pregnancy more and more teen girls are giving in to peer pressure and trying this extreme hardcore sexual perversionary act.
It is not clear if the Anal Bleaching technique is meant to cover up bruises or lashes from hardcore sadomasochist sessions that the homosexual often engages in
in fact, in homosexual slang there are over 200 words to describe a sodomy receiver
Oddly enough, the “top” and “bottom” men often divide cleanly across ethnic lines, with Latinos and Blacks often describing themselves as tops and young White or Asian males, skinny and/or effeminate, often choosing the role of the “bottom.” A great number of interracial homosexual couples are linked by this perverse sexual equation.
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7:44 am
Researcher: I’m sorry if you’re researching your own work I don’t have time to help you find resources, I’m just too busy at the moment.
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8:18 am
“I’m too busy…”
Typical response from someone with no proof or sources to back up their claims.
Fail.
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12:48 am
I don’t need you to help me find resources, I need you to provide references for your arguments. Without references, you might as well write out the lyrics to the Captain Planet theme song (which was an awesome program). With no references, I have no reason to believe one over the other.
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1:19 am
Stop pestering me. I am incredibly busy and don’t need to give you perverts links to porn sites.
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4:53 am
I don’t want links to porn sites, I want references to back up your arguments. In the same way when you argue a point in the bible you give us a bible reference, I would expect you to do the same for other arguments.
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6:23 pm
Does this mean that you watched porn in order to research for this article? Is that part of your job-description? Porn-watcher/researcher?
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9:21 am
I thought Christians were not supposed to judge others? Yes, the Bible says sodomy is “bad”, but at the same time, it also says you are to love unconditionally and not cast the first stone. Why obsess over this if sodomy is a personal matter? What gay or straight couples do in the bedroom has no effect on the health/safety of yourself or of anyone else outside the couple.
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10:37 pm
Stop cherrypicking your Bible verses from the comfort of your hippie tree house. What do you know of faith and community? The Bible teaches us above all that we must submit to the teachings of our Lord and live according to His needs. We must lead a righteous life and it’s important that everyone understand this.
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2:39 pm
Do not contradict yourself. You are a master of cherry-picking verses from The Bible to suit your own needs. Every one of your messages here tells me this. One does not serve the Lord by publishing essentially redundant articles that, if nothing else, bring attention and hatred on others – those who would do better to find the Lord in their own way.
This is akin to murdering the murderer.
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8:16 pm
I can’t wait to go volunteer to fight the homeless. Who knew there were such organizations. The growing menace of the homeless is becoming a threat to my town and I look forward to being able to fight them off, hopefully with a 2×4 or maybe a baseball bat.
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12:05 pm
It continues to astound me that such hate-fuelled and divisive filth is published in the name of an allegedly loving and inclusive religion. Reference to the Bible seems to be an unanswerable justification for you, which is difficult to understand, given that it’s no more than a collection of ancient scratchings and scribblings found in a cave. It is not the word of God, it is the word of a man, complete with the same 3rd century societal norms, prejudices and hate that you deluded, prurient hypocrites seem only too pleased to perpetuate even today.
Shame on you. Whose arse (I’m British) is it anyway? If you want to just use yours for defecation, as do I, that’s fine, but if others want to insert things up there for pleasure, who are you to interfere? Using words like “perversion” just makes you look silly and arrogant.
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1:15 pm
Matt, you are ridiculous.
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1:45 pm
How is he ridiculous? He has a point, all we have to rely on when it comes to God’s existence is the word of men several centuries again. Even THEN the information from that time was compiled due to laws in place at the time, as well as personal prejudices that the people had, as well as the misinformation that they had. Back then, they still thought the world was flat, had no idea what scurvy was, had no idea that North and South America existed, and thought the Earth was the center of the universe. In this day and age, we’ve gone and proved all of that wrong and figured out how diseases work, yet people like you will grasp at the teachings (which also have changed and evolved to fit with the times) of 2000 years ago. Other Christians can accept the change, why can’t you?
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1:35 pm
Matt,
You really do need to realize that the Bible’s verse may sound antiquated, but its prohibitions protect you from long term emotional and physical harm. Before you continue with practices you consider pleasurable, please research the term “blossom” (perhaps on Urban Dictionary) and see if this is a physical ailment you want to live with later in life.
God bless you,
W/S
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8:51 am
I really wish i hadn’t folowed your advice brother.. it reminds me of the time someone told me to google ‘glory hole’..
Proverbs 12:26
The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray
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8:53 pm
Am I being trolled?
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9:01 pm
Sadly, this is a real process that some people go through:
http://inbedwithmarriedwomen.blogspot.com/2010/07/is-your-anus-looking-its-whitest.html
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9:30 am
Craziness… next thing ya know, women will be shaving their “areas” to make them look more appealing!!
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1:32 pm
Anal bleaching is too unnatural for me. I personally like a bit of colour around the anus, you know? Like a bull’s-eye marking a target
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10:36 pm
Really people? Really?! You don’t get that this is a PARODY site? Go read “The Onion”, and then tell me this isn’t eerily similar. Use your brains before you get all worked up.
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2:11 pm
Parody or not, anal bleaching is still just another one out of many to come grooming techniques that will emerge. It is not much different then the likes of a Brazilian wax in its interpretation. I do not see why it would be considered indecent at all.
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4:14 pm
Please don’t promote your homo gay products on our site. You are one of those people who promote man boy love!
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3:58 pm
I feel line 12 shows us that this sort of thing is now derigeur… I give up..
http://last-barman-poet.blogspot.com/
Candida Albicans: the bar sluts last moistened towelette
I am the bar sluts last moistened towelette
foil-wrapped refresher vignette
she puts her head in the door & even
if there’s nobody she knows
she doesnt leave
but sticks around,
probably for the ones she really needs
she thickens the voice & he knows
shes hassling punters ordering spritzers for “wasp whores”
imbibing bribes she’d take
The Daytona Beach
The Anus, singed by Bleach
The Vagina Sanga
The Backend Rammer
If it weren’t for me mopping at her gusset
It’d be a stodgy russet (she occasionally bleeds juice and froth…)
The Pink Squishmitten
The Cameltoe Goth
She dredges the trench be with my wet-one
The Liced-Lips
The Kandida Albicans
The Caustic Chasm
The Microplasm
The Slipperysore Slot.
A Fling-a-ling.
“A FLINGALING?!”
Poet barman
you tried everything you got
but my bar slut’s gonna get loaded & hit on you
no matter what
Legs are open.
Posted by Ross Sutherland
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3:46 am
Gosh. I’m gay and there’s so much I didn’t know. This is a great learning blog. I will come back for sex tips. Don’t know about anal bleaching though. I think guys might like mine a little darker.
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10:20 pm
Dear author,
No body likes a dirty booty hole.
p.s. I know you love fisting. Don’t lie.
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4:13 pm
I myself prefer the ” At home: Crest Ass Strips”. It feels just like going to the Spa.
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1:29 pm
Lmfaooooo
What is this fuckery?
We’re “sodomites”?
I literally laughed throughout this article.
Gays care about their appearance. Men are visual creatures, so naturally..
Clearly, the author is a dusty, old has-been. Probably a rogue homosexual himself , that has been incessantly DENIED and is now a rampant, bitter queen. Clearly.
You know what they say..
The ones that bark the loudest against the gays, are usually gay themselves
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9:07 am
Wooooo! A lot of bad comment on the post but I find it very interesting though.
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5:07 pm
Look, why is christwire using votebots?
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6:09 pm
I am also trying to get this done. There is nothing better than shiny asshole:)) Anybody tried any of these products ? http://www.analbleaching.org?
Thank you for you advice!
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