Jonathan Acuff Betrays America with Anti-Christian Article
I could only wish I was the Lord and Savior right now, because I would have a big red button on my throne and immediately cast all sinners into HELL!
Thank God you traiterous stiffnecks that I cannot be the judge of all for a day, because every second in your life that you use to betray America and God, I would make unto infinity of torture unto you!
America was founded as a Christian nation. Our monies says In GOD We Trust. Our pledge of allegiance to our American flag says we are One nation, under GOD! We are Christians and our Constitution proves the point!
There is no job in America more important than the media. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? Who watches the watchers?
Well my friends, it is supposed to be the media, so that means Christians in media are the most trustworthy and therefore most important!
So how sad is it that on his article, a professing Christian named Jonathan Acuff has caused my anger to be riled and therefore you can only imagine God’s wrath is boiling over and sizzling the oven burners! Look at these words from his blog masquerading as journalism. He has entitled this Why Are Christians Jerks Online and accuses all of us Christians of being “jerks” and “mean” with our articles when I only preach love for everyone: Look at this hellbound savage written nonsense from this turncoat, gayfont liberal tallywhacker! Look!:
Why Are Christians Jerks Online
So then why are there so many hateful Christian blogs? Why do Christians write bitter messages on Twitter? Why do we send hate mail?
I think there are two reasons Christians are jerks online.
1. The business traveler approach.
It’s unfortunately not that uncommon for business travelers to get in trouble when they’re on the road. With a “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” approach they tend to do things they would never do at home. “The rules don’t apply here. I’m a different person. This is ‘road me,’ not ‘home me.’” I believe sometimes Christians approach the Internet the same way. The rules of “real life” don’t count. Sure, I have to love my neighbor, but are people on Facebook my neighbor? The Internet doesn’t “count.” These are just words. Surely I can throw a missile of hate at someone on Twitter. And when we buy into this logic, we develop an unloving, anything goes, whatever happens online stays online mentality. We become two different people, “Offline Christian” and “Online Christian.” And we become jerks.
2. Room Cleaning ChristianityWhy do Christians argue about drinking beer or why the tankini is the least slutty of all bathing garments? I think it’s because we sometimes practice “Room Cleaning Christianity.” Think of it like college. When you’ve got a final paper due Monday, you will be amazed at how energetic your desire is to clean your room. You will scrub tile with a slow toothbrush if it means avoiding the bigger, more difficult work of writing your paper. The same thing happens with Christianity. Loving your neighbor might be simple, but it’s not easy. Maybe my neighbor is a jerk too. Maybe they hate God. Maybe they are actively and violently opposed to everything I believe. And showing them grace feels impossible. So instead of dealing with that, we get online and police people. We find small things to focus on that will distract us. I think God wants us to discuss the little stuff, but we make it an idol when we practice room cleaning Christianity at the exclusion of love. And we tend to become jerks.
Hopefully you’ve never experienced either of these things. Hopefully this article feels like Amish Romance Fiction, currently a hit amongst Christians. But if it doesn’t, if you’ve been an online jerk, if you’ve acted like I have, there’s hope.
Jesus came for the mess-ups like us. Jesus came for the failures. Jesus came for the jerks. (That’s not in the King James version of the Bible, I remixed it like Timbaland.) And the truth is, grace is the antidote to being a jerk online.
So my hope is that you won’t prove my point in the comments section. My hope is you’ll accept my apology for the times I’ve been a jerk to you online.
My hope is that I’ll see Bono in heaven, or at the bare minimum “the Edge.”
You can see what’s going on here: liberal agenda. Satan loves to veil his agents. This is nothing but the work of a veil wolf in sheep’s skin, just like this danged commie Soviets they just found sneaking our secrets on the east coast!
My friends, God has something better than the electric chair for sinners! It is called HELL! There is no off switch and it shall burn all sinners forever! Glory!
Liberals try to accuse Christians of spreading hate, when all I try to do is show everyone God’s love and protect them from getting triton dabbled by Satan in the devilwhole for all eternity with hot coals and lava!
So no, Acuff, everyone should thank those who do the hard job of warning all sinners why they must change to how we know they should live, and then even give them examples and help remind them of their wrong sin whore antics!
No one likes a Judas! Turn back to the Lord before it is too late and you join Judas, Benedict Arnold and all other Johny Turncoats who have turned against their God and country with Satanic liberal agendas! Democrats.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Abe
If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack.
Follow me on twitters. Poke me as your New Friend on Facebook!!
2:06 pm
did you just said ou spread “love” to everyone when you actually hate black latino barack obama liberal atheist gay chiense russians arab jews your own allies (nato) japanese did I forgot someone ?
seriously you are a real Joke hopefully there is No more stupid people like you in the world sadly we can’t actually get rid of you
Oh and a Blog is an independnat media yet is not under anything standard
as for your constitution you should read it more because you actually lack the meaning
I will help you : FREEDOM OF RELIGION see I know the constituion more than you do
as I can see your article he is right you are a Jerks every christian extremist are jerks Christwire are a Bunch of jerks if it’s wa sonly of me we should get rid of you putting you on a desert island and let’s you “live here” without any communication
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4:22 pm
“I could only wish I was the Lord and Savior right now, because I would have a big red button on my throne and immediately cast all sinners into HELL!” If God did this, then you would also go to hell, as you are clearly a sinner. It is d*mn human nature…
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6:43 pm
By in God we trust they mean Allah. What Now?
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7:13 pm
weird enough the God is not even specified its could be allah yahvee buddha odin or whatever
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7:19 pm
The Bible makes it clear that there is only one God, and his name is God. Period.
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7:48 pm
The Koran makes it clear that there is only one God, and his name is Allah. Period.
i’m sorry but what’s your point?
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8:48 am
Religiously speaking, the only difference between you and me is I believe in one less god than you do.
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7:58 pm
“I could only wish I was the Lord and Savior right now, because I would have a big red button on my throne and immediately cast all sinners into HELL!”
fair point but how does the fact that god hasn’t done this yet not prove that either there is no god or you do not understand him?
you just said you disagree with god. isn’t that blasphemy? doesn’t that make you a sinner?
why should i trust a christian when you freely admit you wish for me to be punished? when you repeatedly find joy in the idea that i will spend an eternity suffering. then why should i trust you?
and i don’t give a rats ass about your “love” if a retardet man with a sledge hammer is smashing your skull because he thinks it makes you fell good would you praise him for doing what he thinks is a good deed or would you stop him ask him to stay away from you and try to explain why you don’t want him near you?
what good is your love when it hurts people? what right does your love have to exists if all it creates is suffering and pain?
why is it you can’t understand the simple concept of someone not haveing drawn the same conclusions as you? haveing the same ideals as you?
i do not need protection from satan because satan has yet to hurt me. you on the other hand have hurt me so i do need protection from you.
in the end what makes you christian agenda better than the liberal agenda? if your question is going to be “that you are right” then please prove that something you have failed to do the last 2000 years
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7:32 pm
Only the truth can answer criticism like yours. The simple fact is that the idea of Christianity has been popular for centuries, even millennia. Unfortunately though, the actual adherence can only come through true faith in Christ with your entire life. Those who react in rude or “jerky” ways have shut God out of a part of their life so that the evil sinner in them is revealed. Jon actually put it quite succinctly and I myself am just as guilty of this as any Christian.
The answer must be that we are forgiven for all the times we’ve messed up and that is exactly what God promises us through Jesus.
Sorry to get all preachy, I don’t know if you are saved or not, but that’s just how I see it and i feel that everyone should be made aware that the Christianity that gets the most airtime is not the Christianity supported by the Bible.
As for the political thing, I consider myself to be a Libertarian, basically meaning I don’t agree with government controlling people like they so often do. If God gave us free will (and He did), then who are we to tell each other what to do? The answers are all in the Bible for a person to accept or not. My job as a Christian is simply to show them the way, I can’t block off all the other roads.
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10:29 am
Please don’t judge God based on this guy. Or Christians for that matter. Jon’s right, we all tend to be jerks, especially online. The only thing I beg of you is to please, please, please don’t base you view of God in his followers. We’re humans, just like everyone else. Sometimes I think we’re worse than non-christians, because we think we’re better than everyone else just because we’re Christian. It sucks, I wish we were perfect so we could show everyone how perfect God is. But we’re not. Please forgive us for that. I know I don’t find joy in the thought of you going to hell.
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12:33 pm
“Presumption is integral to ignorance and poor communication, my friend. If you ever have a question, please go ahead and ask.”
maybe you idiots should stop asumeing we agree with you
btw i stole this quote from jack ghould so you can’t dismiss it really can you?
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12:11 am
I don’t think this “betrays America” or goes against Christians. I think it just says for people like you for example to not be complete jerks on the internet. You say you wanna spread love now where is it? Is your definition of God’s love name calling and saying your a naughty human being and shall go to hell? Saying if you were God and would kill all sinners would mean killing yourself ya retard. All humans are born into sin.
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10:23 am
I think anyone who beleives in that the Bible, Quran or any other religous fairytale needs to have their head examined. Religion is a farce and has brought nothing to this earth but death and war. Stop beleiving in imaginarey friends in the sky and imaginarey devils in hell. There is absolutely ZERO proof that either exist.
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8:26 am
My goodness! Jon was just trying to get people to talk to one another without being mean or judgmental. Which, I do believe you just proved his point about jerks online. What Jon does is show nonchristians that believers can be normal smart people too. We like pop culture, and watch TV, make mistakes, and really struggle with our faith. Believing isn’t easy and it takes a lot of studying, reading, talking, and life long commitment. And if it is easy for you than something is wrong. Jon is reaching out to the lost and to the found and showing them that we are all the same. We all have the sin inside us that you so wish to wipe out. Jesus loves and listens and YOU sir are not even close to persuading anyone to come to Christ.
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9:02 am
Umm…I’m pretty sure this blogger isn’t legit. A few clues:
1. The guy uses the phrase “written nonsense from this turncoat, gayfont liberal tallywhacker!” No one really talks like that.
2. “Follow me on twitters.” Again…no one talks like that.
3. Look at the guy’s picture! This can’t be for real.
As Acuff says…grace is the antidote to being a jerk online. Here’s some grace…
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10:24 am
Wow. It took me a few seconds to realize that this was satire. Well played.
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10:53 am
This is a joke… right?
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4:54 pm
Lololololololololololololloollloollollolololollolollol
I bet god is sitting laughing his almighty ass off at you and your hypocrisy right now.
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6:29 pm
This guy’s argument is comical…
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6:30 pm
Abe’s that is
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12:15 pm
There is something seriously wrong with this “journalist”… I don’t see or hear an ounce of love in this msg… I would be willing to bet that there is zero fruit from this “ministry” and would be ashamed to associate myself with it… thank you Jon Acuff for setting a proper example.
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12:48 pm
What a disgusting human being this author is.
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1:24 pm
This is a joke, right? It’s satire, surely. I mean, no one is THAT oxymoronic with out TRYING to be. If so, it’s very funny. If not, I would suggest you gettin to know Jesus a little better. He probably doesn’t appreciate you spewing this crap in support of Him.
But luckily this is all just an over the top satire about how some Christains miss the whole poin of God’s crazy love for us,….
…..Right?
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8:11 pm
SERIOUSLY! SERIOUSLY! SERIOUSLY! Christians can be Jerks sometimes. LIKE YOU!
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8:13 pm
and that’s why we pray for those people. Christians Lie, so we pray. The last one I replied for was an accident, I am sorry for evryone who feels bad. But still, we have to pray for those “Christian Jerks” out there.
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12:59 pm
Are you real? I mean….I have to imagine that you are a satirical writer. That is the only thing that I can possibly think of. If I took your article seriously, then I would be hard-pressed to finish it, after all of your hypocritical and heretical remarks.
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12:00 pm
Man, I was totally impressed by your article. I think my favorite line is this one:
>I could only wish I was the Lord and Savior right now, because I would have a big red button on my throne and immediately cast all sinners into HELL!
Wow. This totally captures the delicate connection between grace and mercy and a deep understanding of God’s infinite wisdom is withholding ultimate justice so that all can have a legit attempt to turn from self-destruction and unite in a loving, forgiving relationship with Him. Your words were just so profound in you deep grasp of understanding this heavy, complex topic. You sir, are a theological hero.
But wait, the infinite recesses of your wisdom continues! Like when you say people, wicked, evil people, “Betray America and God” Because people, smart people like us, KNOW that America and God are always on the same page. Especially since our founding fathers said our nation was under God. They understood that. The people understood that. And so did the slaves they owned at the time. They totally understood how infallible our founders were. All three-fifths of their humanness agreed.
And it’s so wonderful to know that you’re a perfect human barometer for how God feels: “Jonathan Acuff has caused my anger to be riled and therefore you can only imagine God’s wrath is boiling over and sizzling the oven burners!” AMEN, author Abe. Because anyone whose profile picture looks like he drives around in truck plastered in Harold Camping bumperstickers and a confederate flag–that person is a perfect representative of God’s true emotion. But I’d never make judgements based on a person’s appearance, that’s beneath me. We know that this must be true because of the sheer quantity of truth nuggets we found in your earlier comments.
How dare Mr. Acuff call christians jerks online. As you stated, you only preach love for everyone–especially when you’re not saying you want to send them all to hell when they disagree with your personal opinion. Preach on, Abe. Preach on.
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10:22 am
The irony of this article leaves me awestruck. How did someone come up with such a beautiful way to prove Jon right? You, sir, are a genius for coming up with such a beautifully ironic article that only serves to prove every one of Jon’s words right. I applaud you.
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