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Outrage As Latino Playboy Magazine Depicts Peeping Jesus With Naked Lesbian Hookers
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International filth purveyor Playboy Magazine crossed a very dangerous and sacred line this month when it released an issue containing images of Jesus Christ, the Lord and Savior to billions of people across the globe, in disgusting and explicit situations with naked females. The photo spread, including a foldout center fold, show a gloriously gowned Jesus cavorting with bare-chested women (and worse) in intimate situations. This is clearly a violation of all the things Christians hold sacred and falls far beyond the lines of religious commentary. The work is repulsive, disgusting, offensive and wrong. It shows just how low the Europeans have sunk (this is the Portuguese edition of the magazine). The extreme degrees of socialism that have taken hold in Europe despite record unemployment and crime rates, the increased spread of hardcore homosexuality (Portugal now protects “homosexual” marriage under governmental law) and the continual attacks on religious freedom truly make one wonder if the United States is the last bastion of pure and dedicated faith in this world, despite Mr. Obama’s attempts to put us on par with the worst excesses of European socialism, including the health care debacle.
Playboy ran the series of photo shots in celebration of notorious author Josse Saramago who died in June. Saramago is the author of such profane works as “The Gospel According to Jesus Christ,” a sacrilegious and crudely-written attack on the great traditions of Christian humanism. Saramago, in the vein of dilettante communists everywhere (yes, he was a card-carrying member of the party), imagined Jesus as a flawed and simple man ripped apart by daily lusts and physical release. He sees Jesus not as the Son of God who died for your sins, but as some broken down bohemian with a knack for getting himself in humorous situations (imagine Jesus on the Jewish comedy show, “Seinfeld”). The book was an outrage when it was published in 1991 and still stings today. Christians everywhere should avoid Portuguese literature for the sake of their families and their love of our Lord God.
The actual photos are too horrific to imagine and thankfully, due to pressure from the world’s motivated Christian groups, Playboy has been forced to close down the Portuguese edition of their porno magazine abomination. In one shot, Jesus looks on lustfully as two Lesbian bare-chested females rub hard against each other. In another, a street prostitute beckons Jesus into a dark alley for a quick release against a grimy castle wall. In none of the photos does Jesus himself disrobe or strip down to a simple wrap-around loin cloth, though he is played by a handsome fellow whose long hair and lithe looks would befit a more honorable incarnation of our Jesus, possibly in a religious calendar.
Please remember that pornography is not a benign part of our world today. It is a drug as dangerous as heroin. It is invading our communities and the privacy of our homes via the computer every second of every day. Addiction to pornography has destroyed marriages, ruined many a man’s understanding of monogamy, pushed many a woman into lesbianism, prostitution and death and has ushered in an unimaginable era of extreme sexual perversion including the homosexualization of America’s male youth. In addition, studies have shown that blockbuster rates of masturbation are putting our citizen’s health at risk and hurting this nation’s productivity. Internet and magazine porn tempts our children away from traditional family values and into a dark world of group orgies, sadomasochistic sex, drug addiction and other hardcore homosexual encounters. There can be no doubt that if you have children, you need to step into their lives and keep them porn free to save them from a life of unhappy homosexuality and fruitless sexual release.
“If a man looks on a woman to lust after her, he has committed adultery with her already in his heart.” –Matthew 5:28.
http://biblicalpaths.wordpress.com/2010/07/07/jesus-in-playboy/
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6:05 pm
Right, let’s see if I can stop laughing long enough to maintain a coherent thought for more than a few seconds…
Quite the jedgemental prick, aren’t you, Billings?
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6:10 pm
judgemental*
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7:50 pm
I don’t mean to sound condescending, but why do you come to a Christian website if you can’t stomach traditional morality? I don’t think calling me “judgemental” is accurate. I am simply here to share the teachings of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. God bless you my friend!
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8:25 pm
Why do I come to a Christian website? Why, to take the piss, of course.
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12:23 am
because we don’t want this to evolve into a circle jerk where you pat each others back whille you congratualte each other on being right. every argument needs to be discused from more than one side.
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5:17 pm
The crap here is so retarded, that it’s funny!!!
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6:38 pm
“Outrage as Latino Playboy Magazine Depicts Peeping Jesus with Naked Lesbian Hookers”
You’re aware that the word “Latino” does not refer to the Portuguese, right? It refers to people from Hispanic (SPANISH-speaking) countries of South America or from SPAIN, right?
“This is clearly a violation of all the things Christians hold sacred and falls far beyond the lines of religious commentary.”
So you think that Muhammad jokes are hilarious but Jesus jokes are out of line.
“(Portugal now protects “homosexual” marriage”
I say good for them!
“Christians everywhere should avoid Portuguese literature for the sake of their families and their love of our Lord God.”
Are you aware that ONE Portuguese man does NOT constitute the entirety of Portuguese people?
“putting our citizen’s health at risk”
Um, that should be citizens’, unless you’re only referring to the health of ONE citizen.
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9:32 pm
Claire, the word “Latin” does indeed connote the Meditteranean peoples, of which Portugal is yes a part.
My Mohammed jokes were something a bit more sublime than a silly attempt at getting chuckles. I was reacting to the numerous fatwas our Arab friends have placed on numerous institutions that engage depictions of their Mohammed. South Park, Danish cartoonists and many others were on my side in that argument. I am surprised that you don’t understand the subtly of the statement I was trying to make there. It was about fighting suppression. This nudity and mocking of Jesus is simply crude and wrong and adults need to be warned about it.
Please save the grammar check for your high school term papers. I needn’t be lectured by a inveterate teen.
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9:39 pm
“As employed by the Census Bureau, Hispanic or Latino does not include Brazilian Americans,[3][4][24] and specifically refers to “Spanish culture or origin”;[3][4] Brazilian Americans appear as a separate ancestry group.[25] The twenty-eight Hispanic or Latino American groups in the Census Bureau’s reports are the following:[4][26][27] Mexican, Puerto Rican, Cuban, Dominican Republic; Central American: Costa Rican, Guatemalan, Honduran, Nicaraguan, Panamanian, Salvadoran, Other Central American; South American: Argentinian, Bolivian, Chilean, Colombian, Ecuadorian, Paraguayan, Peruvian, Uruguayan, Venezuelan, Other South American; Other Hispanic or Latino: Spaniard, Spanish, Spanish American, All other Hispanic.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hispanic_and_Latino_Americans
I don’t see Portuguese in that list.
“I am surprised that you don’t understand the subtly of the statement I was trying to make there. It was about fighting suppression. This nudity and mocking of Jesus is simply crude and wrong and adults need to be warned about it.”
Oh blow it out your ass!
“Please save the grammar check for your high school term papers. I needn’t be lectured by a inveterate teen.”
High school term papers? Yeahhhh…that would be kinda hard, considering how I’m a rising Junior in COLLEGE.
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9:58 pm
Why must you turn everything into a mini-biography? Your generation is the most narcissistic I have ever seen and it’s sad.
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10:22 pm
Dude, you made an assumption about me and I corrected you. That’s not exactly a “mini-biography”. Oh, and I’m pretty sure that we all agree that YOU are the most narcissistic person on here.
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3:44 pm
Lat·in (ltn)
Of or relating to the languages that developed from Latin, such as Italian, French, Spanish, and Portuguese, or to the peoples that speak them.
Sorry but you’re wrong again, my aspiring writer friend!
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4:25 pm
Should I point out that most of the English language was derived from latin?
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4:16 am
TL; DR.
Collidge is awesome. I have Coors Lights. Can I hit that?
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3:09 pm
“My Mohammed jokes were something a bit more sublime than a silly attempt at getting chuckles”
They were, if you call sectarianism sublime.
“South Park, Danish cartoonists and many others were on my side in that argument”
But South Park are evil, soul-sucking demons, remember. And Denmark play soccer, which automatically makes them bastards.
“Please save the grammar check for your high school term papers. I needn’t be lectured by a inveterate teen.”
Obviously you do,otherwise she wouldn’t have to correct you.
—BobTheChairGuy
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3:45 pm
Are you a lesbian?
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4:21 pm
Where, in that comment, did I imply in any shape or form that I might be homosexual?
My sexual orientation is of little interest to anyone else, why are you so concerned about it?
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4:48 pm
Well I am sorry to hear that. There are some great programs to help you deal with unwanted homosexuality today.
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12:15 pm
These programmes have been found to seriously psychologically harm the victims. Once again, where did I say I was gay? Whether I am gay or not has no bearing on my intelligence, personality or rights.
By the way, Billings, you will be disappointed to hear that we live in an age where homosexuality is not an insult.
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5:57 pm
Are you a child molester? I’m guessing yes.
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8:26 pm
Am I correct in thinking this is a purely theatrical and satirical website? I am sure that this website serves no real purpose than parodying actual Conservative Christian websites. If so, I find this highly humorous and applaud you for surreptitiously fooling many a cperson into believing your very entertainingly false paradigms.
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8:32 pm
I happen to be a Journalist and a Christian and I don’t find your comment funny at all. It’s people like you who would suppress the freedom of speech that so many of us hold dear, particularly in this era when our president’s socialist programs seeks to inculcate the populace into a cult of personality the likes of which were last seen in Chairman Mao’s time. No, my friend, I am here fighting for YOUR soul, YOUR America. I want to preserve the last corner of decency and traditional values on this planet because it’s all we have left. If we let liberalism go unchecked, we will be ruined spiritually and economically.
“He that tilleth his land shall have plenty of bread: but he that followeth after vain persons shall have poverty enough.” –Proverbs 28:19.
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8:38 pm
You’re not a journalist until you provide us with your credentials.
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11:26 am
he is the one who would supress freedom of speech? well you are the one who IS supressing freedom of speech so what’s the big deal?
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2:49 pm
Psst! The word ‘journalist’ is in the middle of the sentence so it doesn’t get a capital letter. Of course, I couldn’t expect you to know this, as you are an idiot with delusions of ‘Journalism’.
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3:46 pm
“Journalist” is used a title akin to “Doctor” or “Senator” so in this case it is correct. Nice try, however.
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4:25 pm
Thank you. However, I beg to differ. So does the internet: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Title
Journalist does not appear here. I have searched and found no reference to ‘Journalist’ being used as a title.
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10:14 pm
Poe’s Law taken to it’s extremes. Seriously, this has to be THE perfect trolling site EVER for this sort of thing. This is a mockery of actual values similarly to the Daily Show or The Colbert Report. If it isn’t, then this place’s values insult those of other religious people I’ve met.
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8:59 pm
Billings you know that MAO was better man than you will never be in your entire sucker life ???
seriously you CENSORED the photo Yourself and you comes talking about FREEDOM ?
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9:28 pm
We blacked out the nudity because it is not appropriate for this website and not really germaine to the point at hand. I can understand that you have curiousity about the female form but I suggest you talk to your parents about that.
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2:45 pm
“…and not really germaine to the point at hand.”
Yes, yes it is. The article specified NAKED lesbian hookers, which leads me to doubt they were wearing signs at the time the photos were taken.
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3:49 pm
******NSFW********
******NSFW********
For adults only, the uncensored photos are here: http://gawker.com/5581656/jesus-appears-in-portuguese-playboy
******NSFW********
******NSFW********
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6:16 pm
Oh no…it’s…BREASTS! Dear god, man the life boats!
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12:26 am
HYPOCRIT!!!!
no i don’t care what you say. you suposted muhamed pictures. you suported the right to mock the symbol of a belif. you have shown suport for this kind of act. you do not get to change your openion just because you are the vicitm this time. you billings is a suporter of this magazine wether you want to admit it or not.
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10:32 am
Why do you people beleive in imaginarey frieds in the sky? There is absolutely ZERO proof that God exists.
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1:44 pm
I’m sorry Mark but 6000 years of human history and billions of people in faith beg to differ with your childish, insane accusation. Why don’t you save your drivel for your next campus communist party meeting?
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2:03 pm
Yes, and those of us who know how to think rationally beg to differ with THOSE people.
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2:42 pm
“…billions of people in faith…”
Aaand there’s that word again. Faith. It’s not proof. If faith was proof it would be called proof.
Also, calling people you’ve never met Communists is ignorant and rude. You accusation isn’t even based on the comment he left.
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4:58 pm
billings you are one third of the worlds population. for every one person that agrees with you in any way there is at least 2 who disagree.
if simply beliveing is proof then you are wrong on a count of not being the majority.
faith is nor proof. faith is the oposite of proff. so when we ask for proof and that’s all you have to say yoiu are saying ” i got nothing” it doesn’t make you wrong of course. it just means there is no logical reason to agree with the guy who can only argue his case by saying ” I think i’m right”
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2:02 pm
“I’m sorry Mark but 6000 years of human history and billions of people in faith beg to differ with your childish, insane accusation.”
They can disagree all they want, but they’re wrong. There really is no proof of God’s existence.
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3:50 pm
You and I alone are enough proof of God’s existence, you’re just too blind to see that.
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4:36 pm
You mean proof of the non-existence of God?
Proof denies faith and without faith, God is nothing. God therefore promptly disappears in a puff of logic.
What a legend Douglas Adams was…
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7:40 am
I have to say that I beleive in the Holy Trinity.
Ofcourse by the holy trinity I don´t mean father the son and the holy ghost. I mean ofcourse Superman, Santa and the Green Lantern.
I actually found evidence that Santa and God is the same person.
And I have alot of facts that show´s I´m right.
Check it out.
http://unreasonablefaith.com/2008/12/15/santa-vs-god/
May the force be with you Young padawan.
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6:18 pm
No, it’s proof that our earth can support life and that organisms can adapt and change.
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3:23 pm
” In none of the photos does Jesus himself disrobe or strip down to a simple wrap-around loin cloth, though he is played by a handsome fellow whose long hair and lithe looks would befit a more honorable incarnation of our Jesus, possibly in a religious calendar.”
Billings, you are a closet case. Also, a potential genius in the subtle nuances of homoeroticism. Maybe it’s time to consider a different and more fitting career.
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6:01 pm
How dare you cast aspirations at Stephenson? You lesbian liberal elite (les-lib-el)s or ‘Je-ze-bels’ cann’ot see the truth for the trees! Awake and cast away your..erm..
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6:13 pm
Yes, but we’re not talking about the word “Latin”, we’re talking about “Latino”, dipshit.
La·ti·no [luh-tee-noh, la-] Show IPA
–noun, plural -nos.
a person of Latin-American or Spanish-speaking descent.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/latino
And I’m not an aspiring writer, nor am I your friend. I’m not friends with people who view my gender as inferior.
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2:46 pm
But your gender is inferior…I will have my sandwich now.
Problem?
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7:53 am
Why would Jesus needs to peek? He knows what everyone looks like naked from the hot chicks to the 70-year-old wrinkled cvnt that hangs down and produces cottage cheese. Mmm… now I’m hungry!
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2:45 pm
If you cannot tell this is satirical, youneed to get your head checked.
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2:33 am
I kind of feel bad for this old guy. He’s so butthurt about his mythical Osiris clone to realize that his inane babblings are falling on intelligent ears. Maybe if kids in his cult were raised to think rationally, they would see the flaws in believing what a 1000 year-old book based on hearsay and plagiarism says. Unfortunately, there’s a somewhat large group of children who are growing up with bronze age ideals propagated by their psychologically abusive parents. What kind of sick parent tells their kids that if they act human, they’ll burn forever?
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