The Fag Hag: How a Girl’s Misguided Friendship Choices Can Lead to a Lifetime of Loneliness
I received an impassioned letter the other day that I’d like to share with you. It reads, in part:
My daughter surprised me by moving into an apartment in the city this summer with 3 gay men. I certainly don’t hate homosexuals but when I paid a visit we spent the entire weekend with these people. We went to a restaurant where the boys were very catty and drunk. Then I slept on their living room couch and that was interesting to say the least… I guess they all think their bedroom doors are sound proof. Next day one of them even came clothes shopping with us! So I’m worried about her finding a real man. She has assured me many times over that she’s a heterosexual but how is she going to find a man to marry if she hangs around these types of people all the time?
This is an incredibly complex issue and to the letter writer and other worried parents out there I will say there is no easy answer. The psychological and physical relationship between heterosexual girls and homosexual males is many layered. It can begin at an early age but, tragically, the consequences can last a lifetime.
PRINCIPLES, PIMPLES & POPULARITY
It is common for young girls who have not socialized properly to seek solace in the company of outcasts. The problem begins in the teenage years when girls are intensely self-conscious about their looks. Not having the right clothes or failing to join a sports team can drive a young person inward and away from her popular peers. Pimples are also a big problem. A girl suffering from pimples feels ashamed and awkward, ugly and unloved. She will hide her face, sit at the back of the classroom and lose interest in meeting boys. Fortunately, pimples and acne are easily addressed by a good dermatologist and the right medications. If your child suffers from pimples, please get involved and monitor your girl’s facial care. It’s a simple thing to do and can really make a difference for her self-esteem and for her ability to meet your expectations. I should note, however, that pimples are also symptomatic of marijuana use so if your child is unwilling to talk to you about her pimples, you may have a far more serious issue on your hands.
Despite the fact that these young female outcasts are on the fringes of school social groups, they still yearn for male companionship. Teenage macho culture may scare them, so they look for a softer form of friendship, one that is initially non-threatening. Homosexuals of all ages and young women share many similar obsessions– clothes, gossip and melodramatic TV shows– and this is what draws them together. As they become young adults, alcohol consumption is often added to the list. They also begin to lust for men who are, by definition, beyond their reach. This is why we have a culture of young people who idolize the “zombies” and “vampires” played by handsome actors. Zombies and vampires may be asexualized fantasy characters, but much of their practices on TV and in the movies are nothing more than simulated fornication. Naturally, this form of entertainment appeals to those unsuccessful at mastering their own bodies.
UNDER THE INFLUENCE
The more time a girl spends with her homosexual friends, the more she will fall under the influence of their habits and mannerisms. She might pick up homosexual fashions and dress mannishly. Instead of cultivating a delicate, feminine look, many dress in black clothes and heavy shoes. Some keep their cheeks pale and wear not enough lipstick. Most mimic homosexual facial expressions, tending to frown and wince a great deal to evince a disdainful attitude towards the world. When this type of girl hears an off-color joke or some piece of gossip, she will shriek at absurdly high levels, levels that would be unacceptable in sober, polite society. She may also take up cigarette smoking to replace the heterosexual intercourse that her body so desperately craves, somehow equating a damp little instrument of cancer lodged between her lips with the act of copulation.
All this time spent around gay men comes at a cost. When the firm, bass tones of masculinity command such a young woman, she will long for the shrill call of the homosexual. When asked by a heterosexual male to be the quiet but pleasant companion at business functions or family dinners out, the girl will rebel. This is a litmus test of just how far off course she has gone. If she is a fully formed “fag hag,” she will abandon her straight mate at these social events and lurch for the bar, ordering up a frizzy cocktail while seeking any hint of homosexuality in the bartender’s eyes. If she has come this far, she is now fully allergic to the requirements of being a wife and the bartender’s scandalous bits of gossip whispered over margaritas will only worsen the rash of autonomy that she has developed.
THE CARNAL CONUNDRUM
Deep in the our female friend’s heart is a terrible contradiction. Many of these women secretly believe that a close relationship with a homosexual will blossom into a gender-bending experience. They hunger for the lean gym bodies that so many gay men spend hours pumping into glistening perfection. They crave the boy’s progressive fashion sense, how his tight shirts show off perky biceps and a hairless or freshly-shaven chest. They are lured into what passes for a “glamorous” lifestyle in the big cities of America– flashy friends, models and actors, days spent shopping at Bloomingdales, nights dining at exclusive restaurants, parties with guest lists, trendy discos in dangerous neighborhoods… The homosexual often uses his high degree of promiscuity to gain access to overbooked restaurants (slept with a waiter), private parties (slept with the host’s boyfriend) and expensive clubs (slept with the drummer playing that night). It is an astonishingly incestuous world.
The reason for such incest? The homosexual is like a locust– limber, voracious and without conscience. They consume everything in their path, stripping the purest things bare, leaving them barren and alone in the cold night air. They will rampage through cities and cultures, whether it’s San Francisco or the Brazilians, the hallowed chambers of the Vatican or internet chat boards. Our straight women in love with gay men don’t seem to comprehend that once they’ve been dropped off for the night at their doorfronts, the homosexual’s adventure is really just beginning. More bars and clubs, the after-hours establishments, cocaine, crystal meth, sex bathhouses, motel room sex parties, tricking in truckstops, prancing in parks, the true nature of these men is now revealed. The lengths to which the homosexual will go to destroy any scent of propriety and humanity in themselves would shock their early-evening female companions and it begs larger questions about our culture.
How can our masculinity survive in an era when it’s so abused, rushed into alleyways for repeated and foul violations that push into the darkest crevasses of humanity’s evil? As a society, we’re not just looking into the mirror, we’ve been pushed up against it, our faces sweating, our bodies naked, our hearts beating too fast, can we even make out our reflections as we’re crushed there, violated from the world behind us, painfully, incessantly, raped and violated in the most nasty of ways, that scruff of the devil’s chest hair chafing our backs, the heavy hot breath of society’s doom in our ear, as we plead for an escape, for freedom, for forgiveness from Jesus Christ for the sins we have permitted in our society, for not protecting our brothers and sisters, for not standing up for morality, for not pushing back and fighting, shouting? No we put ourselves here in this very place. Guilt! Our love for ourselves, our malodorous indulgence and narcissism drew us too close to that mirror. Guilt! We wished to see ourselves in all our glory. But in that worship of self we set aside the most important worship of all: that of our God. Have you truly no guilt for what has been done to you, my friends?
Tragically, despite everything I tell you, our poor lady friend still suspects that maybe, just maybe, after a long drunken or drug-fueled night the homosexual’s masculinity may rise somewhere in the darkness to claim her. As they cling close together, bound by mutual neediness and emotional instability, hot wet tears and Egyptian cotton sheets, she dreams that he will be her man, abandoning his all-night sex raves to stay home and bounce children on his knee. But let me tell you this here and now, ladies: it was never meant to be.
HOPE GIVES WAY TO HIGHBALLS
As these once-hopeful women age, they become far too accustomed to the homosexual male and far too unfamiliar with the heterosexual ones. They have false expectations for every straight man they meet. They demand these men take pleasure in shopping and watching shows like Glee. Instead of football games and grandpa’s cookouts, she’ll opt for spotting celebrities at high-end cocktail bars. No hosting bridal showers and Boca Raton weekends for them, no they’ll demand something more excessive– film noir movie marathons and New Year’s Eve parties at Mexican resorts. And to keep up with her aging homosexual peers, they will wear increasingly outrageous outfits. Big chunky bits of jewelry, hair dyed shocking colors, careers as art directors or café owners, all feathers of an exotic bird to attract the homosexual’s weary eyes.
In her 30s and 40s, the female’s biological urge to be bear children will be forgotten in an alcoholic haze. She will only communicate with her child-rearing childhood friends via Facebook. Privately, she’ll scorn their balding, beer-bellied husbands and broods of jelly-smeared children. No, she will never have that home with a big lawn, the two-car garage and nicely pruned shrubbery, the rooms bright and airy, decorated with yellows and off-whites, floral chairs and the fluorescence of children’s toys.
Visits to her parents will be bittersweet, full of awkward conservations and secret hunts through the homes of elderly relatives for vintage finds. And her mother, the poor suffering woman who had had such high hopes, will never be blessed by the cry of a red-faced child, suckling and smiling. Grandmotherhood denied to a woman who had devoted her life to love. What a reward! And mother’s fate? Game shows and loneliness, maybe even her own escapes into the alluring glow of the bottle. A sad, sad end to a proud American family’s ancestral line all due to the homosexual influence. How ironic that the gay lifestyle has not only prevented a percentage of America’s men from procreating, but also a large number of otherwise perfectly heterosexual women.
SODOM AND THE CANYON
Old age comes swiftly for our female friend. The homosexual is the fairest of fair weather friends. Once another trend arrives, be it a twinky boy or some new disco drug, he has moved on. The “fag hag” is no longer useful cover for his forays into the straight world and the secret of his homosexuality has long ago been exposed. He will drop her for a miniscule and heavily mortgaged condo in Key West. And our ex-fag hag will be left with her knitting and her cats, posting their photos to obscure internet message boards with a plea for a reply. And maybe this will be her final chance for serendipity, the possibility that her old drinking buddy in Key West will post a witty comment about her snapshot of Mr. Whiskers. But will she even know it’s him, hiding behind that screen name that makes it sound like he’s a hard-bodied bi-curious soccer player born in 1982? Yes, the homosexual is even in his late days a chameleon.
Parents, please, get involved early and keep your children on track. Sports and friends and dermatological care are so vital. Lead them down the path of inspiration and hope, marriage and parenting. Otherwise that horrific, damp world just off the edge of homosexual lust awaits. It is a precipice that your girl could fall into, drunkenly dropping from ledge to ledge as the decades fly by, her shrill laugh echoing off the walls as she descends deeper and deeper into a world most indulgent and obscene. And when she finally crashes, chain-smoking and howling on the dark canyon floor of spinster obscurity will her old homosexual friends still so busy in Sodom even hear that thud? No, I think not.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kGLaRsywm8
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Stephenson Billings
Stephenson Billings is an Investigative Journalist, Motivational Children's Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector all in one special, blessed package! Facebook me here or Fanmail me: StephensonBillings@yahoo.com !
7:45 am
this is great, you really know how to fill a column with hilarity, there’s no doubt about it.
Better than Betty Bowers, and you can quote me on that!
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12:57 pm
Mr. Billings,
You are obviously a smart man. Or at least smart enough to form coherent sentences, and, perhaps in some bizarro universe where you prescribed to a cultural identity that fosters the cultivation of the human spirit rather that unbridled bigotry, you would be a first class comedy writer. In fact, this article would sew the seeds for a fantastic episode of “30 Rock.” Although, I’d bet dollars to donuts you don’t watch that show. Too many liberal-minded jokes? Too many alternative lifestyles? Too many artists?
Either way, the confusion I have, Mr. Billings, is how someone who, as far as I can tell from reading your prose, is not a complete moron could espouse such idiotic ideology. Allow me to explain. The obvious here is that you are a homophobe. There’s no reason to dissect the artful (and awfully familiar) thread of hateful stereotypes and vulgar generalizations out of which you create an empirically nasty web of derogatory bile. I see no reason to point out the readily apparent fact that it’s people with closed-minded notions of gender, sexuality and lifestyle like you who are the reason that thousands of Americans are being denied the most basic civil rights based on some half-baked prejudice or xenophobia or latent-homosexuality (not that I am saying this applies to you specifically). I don’t need to explain all that. That’s obvious.
What I will point out, though, is the incredible depths of misogyny that you are mining in this hate-mongering piece of Internet propaganda. This convoluted link you establish between a young woman having friends who happen to be homosexual and the creation of an embittered Old Maid with a lifetime of regret is idiotic at best (and radically dangerous at worst). Your assertion that every woman should strive for nothing more than “a big lawn, the two-car garage and nicely pruned shrubbery, the rooms bright and airy, decorated with yellows and off-whites, floral chairs and the fluorescence of children’s toys” — at the arm of a strong, well-earning man, of course — is post-Depression era, anti-feminist rubbish. What about Oprah? What about Meg Whitman? What about Ellen Degeneres– well, let’s not go there right now.
With disdain, you write, “When asked by a heterosexual male to be the quiet but pleasant companion at business functions or family dinners out, the girl will rebel.” Good for her! Any woman, no matter how much acne she had as a child (what!?), should be appalled by your outright proclamation that a woman can be told, essentially, “Sit down and shut up. Men are talking.” Even those women who don’t follow the gospel of Gloria Steinem and Betty Friedan should be up in arms about the place you are trying to put them in society with your rhetorical Female Obedience School attitude.
Then there’s the pure nonsense. You vilify “big chunky bits of jewelry, hair dyed shocking colors, careers as art directors or café owners.” You assume that every woman’s ultimate goal is to rear a child. You demean the lifestyles of the millions of independent women living in big cities with their own careers and means and artistic pursuits and styles and reasons to exist. You claim that participation in team sports will stave off the horrors of eventual cat ownership.
Ultimately, the myopic world-view you spew here that creates an image that corrupts the upbringing of intelligent, well-rounded young women, might be written off as a rant by another moron on the Internet. And, as I’ve said, I find it difficult to believe you are a complete moron. But to insist upon this close-mindedness and to recommend that parents actually raise their children as dictated by the “values” you feel should be imposed is nothing short of patent cruelty.
Any parents who are still reading this and have any hope in raising their child to be a kind, generous, smart, caring, and well-adjusted individual should break this cycle of hatred and do what they can to make sure people like Mr. Billings no longer affect the minds of adults and children in this nation.
Thank you, Mr. Billings, for providing me with fodder today to fuel an ongoing fight against people like you.
Sincerely,
Appalled in (you guessed it) New York City
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12:16 am
Mr. A. Paul Debayew – I agree with you all of the way. I think the rhetoric tactic has turned into: insert so many layers of wrong the shell-shocked reader doesn’t even know where to start. It’s so hard to know that someone can be so out of touch with real life and yet have the nerve to write nonsense with such fervor.
Mr. Billings: You have once again demonstrated that anyone different from you is a complete moron in the way you think these ‘different’ people act. Not everyone of the female gender is the sort of helpless, lost, subservient, pitiable creature that you portray. All of the homosexual guys I know are just like every other guy; you seem to think that they are demonic creatures of depravity and high pitched voices. I promise you that I don’t know any guys of any orientation with shrill, high pitched voices. Your descriptions for the different people groupings you create are laughable. Also, please step outside and observe how people *actually* live for a few days; you might find how people think and act to be much more complex than the caricatures you tend to create. Also, chronic lack of sun/outdoors exposure may lead to rickets, so the benefit for you would be two-fold.
You mention your ideal a home life: a “home with a big lawn, the two-car garage and nicely pruned shrubbery, the rooms bright and airy, decorated with yellows and off-whites, floral chairs and the fluorescence of children’s toys.”
Surprisingly, everything except for the floral chairs and children’s toys are found in my home. Clearly, home life and upbringing mean little for one’s development; I would align myself with very few, if any, of your beliefs. Despite what you think, it *is* possible to be a female with a cultural, peer, and adult approved physical appearance, interact with people of all backgrounds and orientations, be a studious and hard worker, scorn being a vapid shopaholic, and who can think and protect herself, with the ability to break ribs as an extra (oh no, a female who doesn’t need a big alpha male to do anything!). Honestly, tour a real school or university sometime.
I know I’ve only reached the base, but right now tackling this mountain of complete excrement would be unbearably distasteful and overwhelming. Please, just stop…no one wants to read this.
With complete sincerity,
Appalled in Texas
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3:18 pm
everyone take note: this is how you take down a bigot and professional hater.
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1:45 pm
From a fellow christian and a woman I have to say what disgust I find in reading this. It is men like this that further and falsely portray woman as the victim. A victim that is too fragile to control themselves but need to be controlled and watched after by men. We should always be tolerant of other people’s choices and this is what Jesus taught us. But I find nothing but evil in Billings scant about homosexuality and the feminine held captive. Billing’s it is people like you that do nothing but promote hatred. This hatred might even lead to violence and you would be the man that has blood on his hands. You disgrace God himself and should be fully ashamed of who you are and what beliefs you think you should put out there. I am sure you will get what is coming to you for we will all be judged. You yourself perhaps are just jealous because you have no woman in your life. Men like you should learn from the gay men that treat woman with respect for who they are and what they like. They treat them not based on your superficial views of how many pimples they have or what good looks they bare. Gay men treat woman based on who they are inside. You Mr. Billing’s are not a Christian but an evil man that should be stopped.
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1:05 pm
Yes, please Christian parents…. DO make sure your daughters wear ENOUGH lipstick.
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9:34 am
Hah! This has to be a Poe’s Law manifestation, right…noone could write something this wilfully ignorant, misinformed, blinkered and off the point otherwise. (If so however, you’ve just eroded yet more of my faith in humanity away, Billings. Gratz. While we’re assuming this though, I’d like to point out that you’ve compounded your stupidity with a wide range of braying assumptions, statements and value judgements (e.g. ‘I should note, however, that pimples are also symptomatic of marijuana use…’ Just…what? Evidence. NOW.))
By the way, I can’t help but notice that most of your…heh…observations are directed at the decay of the ‘traditional American way of life’ (or whatever is it you want to call it). Needless to say – well it shouldn’t be but anyway – this is not the fault of the ‘fag hag’. It’s actually the fault of the linear time-space continuum – i.e. the fact we are no longer in the 1950s. Deal with it. Or read my username.
Peace.
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9:29 am
holy fucking shit see the discriminating asshole hypocrit aff an asshat ramble here.
i’m sorry half the time you even fall completly of on your own train of thoughts.
“It is an astonishingly incestuous world. The reason for such incest?”
incest? do you even know what that word means? i’m sorry but homosexuality have nothing to do with incest at all.
i can’t take you seriously when you keep returning to your own false conclusions.
“Not having the right clothes or failing to join a sports team can drive a young person inward and away from her popular peers.”
have the thought that they may not have an intrest in popular clothes or being on a sports team even occured to you? not everyone share your life abitions and i’m sorry to tell you but your sick idea that children should live to please their parents ideals is sickening especialy seeing as we know that you didn’t live up to your mothers expectations.
does it really scare you so much that maybe these kids enjoy life in a way that you don’t? are you sure you are not simply denying these people happines because you could never obtain it yourself?
yes these girls(or boys for that matter) may be looked down on and become outcasts. but then the ones who look down on them are shalow selfish people and this is what you think we should aspire to be? fuck you billings because untill you gain true respect for other people you deserve nothing but the hate you get.
“This is why we have a culture of young people who idolize the “zombies” and “vampires” played by handsome actors.”
1. witch fucking movies have hordes of fangirls about hot zombies? i know about twilight for the vampires but zombies? or did your “reaserch team” fail again?
2. are you sure it’s not simply because of the handsome actor part?
also they have just as… scratch that far bigger fan base among the girls you seem to think everyone should aspire to be.
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11:11 pm
Hello J,
Thanks for the comment. I do think once again you have misread some of the finer points of this piece and I’ll be willing to write that off to the language barrier. However, I did explain my definition of “incest” below, it’s a refined, polished one that you would find in printed literature.
As for girls who have lost an interest in clothes and popular culture, yes this is indeed problematic. There is quite a difference between the female mind and the male one. See my post below about the functioning of the female brain. If young girls hide away and never make friends, they are far more troubled when they get older. They don’t know how to make friends, how to talk with people. Do you realize there are adults who are so fearful of communicating with strangers they just freeze and would rather stay in their house rather than engage? My poor mother is like this and all that time inside, what is she doing? She watches tv and out of boredom she may even drink sometimes. It’s a unhappy world there and I really feel for her. I don’t want today’s otherwise bright and smart girls to grow old with nobody. Everyone needs a friend, or 5 they say, to stay mentally stable in life.
Zombies are very popular in the US. Don’t ask me why. it’s some weird child trend. Not true in Denmark? Vampires, too, of course.
Well, I hope this helps you!
Hot debate. What do you think?
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11:01 am
“Zombies are very popular in the US. Don’t ask me why. it’s some weird child trend.”
Zombies? Uh…no, zombies are not at all popular among kids in the U.S. Vampires are the “in” thing now, due to that stupid “Twilight” series, not zombies.
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2:08 pm
You are all incredibly out of touch… I love how conservative fundamentalists claim that falling out of the “mainstream” is dangerous, yet they themselves have absolutely no clue about mainstream culture at all …
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7:25 am
since you seem willing to stand by your claim that zombies are popular and can no longer pass it of as being a mistake i will now dare you entire honor(HAH) as a “journalist” to find one case where zombies are idolised sexualy in modern culture.
also you seem to fail to understand that not everyone have the same intrests. it is not nececarily a loss of intrest in cloths some people simply don’t care and it’s shallow people like you who’s a problem. just because you can’t understand the appeal of something doesn’t mean there isn’t one. just because you can’t find happines in something doesn’t mean others can’t.
you are asking these people to lie to themself about who they are simply so they can live up to your ideals and if that isn’t selfish i don’t know what is. you dare demand that others sacrefice their happines just so you can fell good about yourself. you arrogant selfish shallow twat.
P.S. incest still don’t mean what you think it does and unless you can prove this wrong your honor (ha, still funny) is also dead btw.
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7:39 am
Twilight and Zombieland were both popular recent movies about zombies. I don’t understand why you people are confused about this?
Hot debate. What do you think?
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7:45 am
yeah this just proves research your stupid shit.
twilight is about vampires not zombies(witch was what i specificly asked for) and zombieland whille haveing ´sences that could be considered a bit sexual they do not involve zombies. that’s like saying eurotrip makes christianity sexy because they fuck in a church. but that’s not how it work. i asked for a case where the ZOMBIES where sexualised because that’s what you claimed existed.
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7:51 am
damn i failed at spelling there. i ment to start by writing ” this just proves how much research you do you stupid shit”
writeing and playing fallout 3 at the same time is hard …
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1:05 pm
“Return of the Living Dead” from the 80′s had that hot punk rock chick turn sexy zombie seductress. Seriously though, that article is worthy of The Onion.
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3:03 pm
Zombieland’s total box office was less than the first 24 hours of Twilight: Full Moon. Hardly a “popular” movie. And yeah..the Twilight movies aren’t about zombies.
Stephenson: Fail
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11:02 am
“Pimples are also a big problem…..I should note, however, that pimples are also symptomatic of marijuana use so if your child is unwilling to talk to you about her pimples, you may have a far more serious issue on your hands.”
This is absolutely hilarious! Best website I’ve seen in a while. Not sure if its real or not, but either way, I’m enjoying it.
Love,
A sodomite heretic and friend of gays everywhere!
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2:30 pm
Um, excuse me sir…but people not wanting to bow down to the holy shrine of “popular culture” have NOTHING wrong with them. In fact, they’re likely much smarter than the average iPhone purchasing sheep. I’m a reformed Christian (i.e. atheist), but I’m pretty sure I remember a certain commandment about “not worshiping false idols” – if sucking the corporate teat of every designer clothing company doesn’t fall into the worship of false idols, I don’t know what does.
Mr. Billings, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
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2:39 pm
I’ll give you generous odds this blog’s author craves dick
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9:17 pm
Yeah I’d say so…..
How can our masculinity survive in an era when it’s so abused, rushed into alleyways for repeated and foul violations that push into the darkest crevasses of humanity’s evil? As a society, we’re not just looking into the mirror, we’ve been pushed up against it, our faces sweating, our bodies naked, our hearts beating too fast, can we even make out our reflections as we’re crushed there, violated from the world behind us, painfully, incessantly, raped and violated in the most nasty of ways, that scruff of the devil’s chest hair chafing our backs, the heavy hot breath of society’s doom in our ear, as we plead for an escape, for freedom, for forgiveness from Jesus Christ for the sins we have permitted in our society, for not protecting our brothers and sisters, for not standing up for morality, for not pushing back and fighting, shouting?
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9:43 am
“Not having the right clothes or failing to join a sports team can drive a young person inward and away from her popular peers.”
Well that’s a load of bullshit.
“As they become young adults, alcohol consumption is often added to the list.”
Source?
“She might pick up homosexual fashions and dress mannishly. Instead of cultivating a delicate, feminine look, many dress in black clothes and heavy shoes. Some keep their cheeks pale and wear not enough lipstick. Most mimic homosexual facial expressions, tending to frown and wince a great deal to evince a disdainful attitude towards the world. When this type of girl hears an off-color joke or some piece of gossip, she will shriek at absurdly high levels, levels that would be unacceptable in sober, polite society. She may also take up cigarette smoking to replace the heterosexual intercourse that her body so desperately craves, somehow equating a damp little instrument of cancer lodged between her lips with the act of copulation.”
False, completely false.
“The homosexual often uses his high degree of promiscuity to gain access to overbooked restaurants (slept with a waiter), private parties (slept with the host’s boyfriend) and expensive clubs (slept with the drummer playing that night). It is an astonishingly incestuous world.”
Complete and utter bullshit.
“The homosexual is like a locust– limber, voracious and without conscience. They consume everything in their path, stripping the purest things bare, leaving them barren and alone in the cold night air. They will rampage through cities and cultures, whether it’s San Francisco or the Brazilians, the hallowed chambers of the Vatican or internet chat boards.”
THIS, Billings, is why we hate your guts.
“More bars and clubs, the after-hours establishments, cocaine, crystal meth, sex bathhouses, motel room sex parties, tricking in truckstops, prancing in parks”
None of the gay men I know do stuff like this. You’re making hurtful assumptions. And that, once again, is why nobody loves you.
“No, she will never have that home with a big lawn, the two-car garage and nicely pruned shrubbery, the rooms bright and airy, decorated with yellows and off-whites, floral chairs and the fluorescence of children’s toys.”
Well guess what? Not every woman longs for those things.
“And her mother, the poor suffering woman who had had such high hopes, will never be blessed by the cry of a red-faced child, suckling and smiling. Grandmotherhood denied to a woman who had devoted her life to love. What a reward! And mother’s fate? Game shows and loneliness, maybe even her own escapes into the alluring glow of the bottle.”
So when are YOU going to reward your mother with grandchildren, eh Billings?
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11:16 pm
CLaire, I understand that this may have touched a nerve with you since you are a young female so dependent on your homosexual male friends but please consider the spot you’re putting yourself in. Your comment is, once again, just a slash cut & paste job of my highlights with your rudeness following. I happen to have a great experience writing and exploring the societal dangers of homosexuality, as do so many of my Christian peers. When you’re a wee bit older you may come around and see that these friendships you hold so dear are shallow, and have prevented you achieving the lifestyle you deserve in you older days. America is certainly a diverse place and not everyone wants to live in a house in the perfect suburbs, but what’s so wrong about aspiring to financial independence and a strong community of faith around you?
Hot debate. What do you think?
10 
114
10:06 am
Your comment is, once again, just a slash cut & paste job of your usual bullshit.
//I happen to have a great experience writing and exploring the societal dangers of homosexuality, as do so many of my Christian peers.//
How the fuck do you know anything about something you’ve never researched?
//When you’re a wee bit older you may come around and see that these friendships you hold so dear are shallow, and have prevented you achieving the lifestyle you deserve in you older days.//
You’re the shallow one here buddy, the only reason why you follow the bible is because you’re so scared of going to hell, you don’t follow the word just to actually follow it and be an actual citizen. You’re a fucking cult, nothing else. Hell, you aren’t even Christian in the first place.
//America is certainly a diverse place and not everyone wants to live in a house in the perfect suburbs, but what’s so wrong about aspiring to financial independence and a strong community of faith around you?//
Not everyone NEEDS faith in order to be an actual good person, nor does everyone need the same faith in order to do the same. You, on the other hand, believe everyone needs to be a Christian, that only Americans are worth a cent, and that everyone else can go blow themselves and get nuked.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
63 
4
11:04 am
“Thank you Jackie, but I’m an older man and your compliment while it flatters me is probably not appropriate coming from a girl so young to a man so old. God bless and keep the faith.”
Says the man who told me when I was 18 that I’d “like his body”. YUCK!
Praise or Condemn:
23 
5
4:31 pm
Guess you missed my reply to you here, Claire:
http://www.theatlanticwire.com/opinions/view/opinion/Christian-Right-Not-Actually-Angry-with-Bill-Murray-4485/
Praise or Condemn:
4 
21
2:55 pm
Wow, what an obtuse douchebag you are. Do you get paid for this drivel? Polished? What a laugh. You can’t polish this turd of an article – as much as you might wish to make your lies appear shiny. Hey – it’s your prerogative to make an ass of yourself. You can at least be proud that you do it so very well.
Too bad you have absolutely no empirical evidence, research or actual peer-reviewed science to back up your nincompoopery. You’re just another gasbag who is looking for a way to rationalize your bigotry.
It must really really suck to be you! But then again, it’s your CHOICE to be an uneducated hatemonger. Unlike orientation, which is not a choice. As one of my dear friends would say: You’re just a poor poor baby. From the smell of this article, you need a change.
Hot debate. What do you think?
30 
6
7:17 pm
Mr Billings, I believe the reason that your mother sits in her house alone and drinks is because she has realised what sort of child she has produced. She is obviously very ashamed and self medicates with alcohol.
Praise or Condemn:
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3
3:01 am
Perhaps the mother was drinking while pregnant??
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5 
1
2:47 am
Dear Author,
I understand you afraid that these gays will snatch and destroy all these young women. And I think the reason you are afraid is that there won’t be any young girls left for you to destroy. Men your age should not be looking at young women, thinking about young women or worrying that they might wear pants instead of skirts… THANK GOD that girls take up sports and self defense classes.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
1
11:24 am
I am utterly disgusted, to the core of my being. You have what may be called the most skewed and absurd view on morality that I have ever come across and are a prime example of what is truly wrong with our society.
I consider myself what you so derogatorily refer to as a “fag hag” and am thrilled to call a gay man my best friend in the world. Now I don’t want to you get too concerned about my underlying sexual desire for my best friend, or the incest (really?) that would result from it, because, to me, being attracted to him is comparable to you, Mr. Billings, being attracted to another male, which I am sure you know plenty about but have somewhat successfully repressed and covered with excessive hatred and fear.
Now I’m no christian, but I do know one thing. The basis of your fairy tale religion is forgiveness and compassion. Am I wrong on this? Or is this another example of the hypocritical “sometimes we are-sometimes we aren’t” aspects of the religion? I find your lack of benevolence or even simple humanity to be astoundingly simple-minded and slightly comedic.
Although, now that I have written this and vented somewhat on your stupidity, I realize that your silly little blog means nothing. While I have not read the comments thoroughly, I have not noticed a single post with positive things to say about your thinking. And for this, I am greatfull.
On another note, why must all hags shriek? and what exactly is the “enough lipstick”?
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
64 
7
11:19 pm
Caity, does your gay man friend know you have physical feelings for him? I think things could get complicated. I’d be interested for you to forward this article to him and hear his response. It may bring up some interesting and unspoken things between the two of you. As for your final question: Why don’t you tell me why hags shriek? I have no clue, they just do. God bless.
Hot debate. What do you think?
7 
52
1:16 am
WTF? According to you, my 17 year old is a hag bag, since she hangs with all the gay boys at San Francisco Ballet. Those are rock star, incredibly hard working talented ballet dancers, you scum bag. Get a life. Leave the gays alone. Let them love, marry, raise kids. GET OVER IT.
Straight daughter of a gay mother. Life is hard enough. Love is rare enough.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
32 
2
12:09 pm
Also, regarding the letter that you received the other day, if you had an unmarried daughter, wouldn’t you much rather have her living with three gay men than with three straight men? Three gay men aren’t going to gangbang her and get her pregnant, are they?
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
71 
6
7:04 pm
I really think this is an inappropriate and offensive thing to say but in spirit of free speech, I will not request that it be deleted.
Hot debate. What do you think?
6 
54
7:09 pm
And what is so offensive about it? That I used the word “gangbang” and “pregnant”?
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
65 
3
12:20 pm
He certainly doenst know what Fag Hag is or what is Incest means … research My ass
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25 
2
12:29 pm
Yeah, what the hell was up with all of that incest talk? Incest is having sex with blood relatives…
Praise or Condemn:
20 
3
7:07 pm
I am using a literary device here and I guess it flew over your heads. Often words in the English language have more than one definition. As for incest, I do not mean amongst biological family members, I meant it more in the sense of “incestuous”, ie. “Improperly intimate or interconnected.” Regardless of this nonetheless, gay people often refer to their extended social networks as “families” as in the homosexual anthem, “We Are Family”. In both definitions of “incest”, therefore my usage was entirely appropriate and quite vivid.
Hot debate. What do you think?
5 
34
8:18 pm
You’re soooooo sexy when you talk in circles!
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
29 
3
11:21 pm
Thank you Jackie, but I’m an older man and your compliment while it flatters me is probably not appropriate coming from a girl so young to a man so old. God bless and keep the faith.
Hot debate. What do you think?
6 
29
10:00 am
//Thank you Jackie, but I’m an older man and your compliment while it flatters me is probably not appropriate coming from a girl so young to a man so old. God bless and keep the faith.//
Like I said, you’re fucking retarded. You can’t even be bothered to read an entire sentence, or at least define the simplest of phrases or words properly.
Praise or Condemn:
19 
4
11:01 pm
I laughed my ass of at that Jacky!
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10 
3
8:26 pm
Incest has one definition you twit. It’s not applicable to being an analogy for anything other than literal relative sex.
As for the ‘gay anthem’, how the fuck did you come up with that? Oh wait, the reason your info smells like shit is because you pull it from your ass.
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21 
6
8:48 pm
well your “litterary device” is still wrong. you used a word that didn’t mean what you ment.
i could write an article about how christian pray to god and the substitue “pray to” with “muder in the name of” and it would just a be a litterary device right?
for a selfproclaimed journalist you don’t seem to know how to use words… or sentances…. or form a cohenrent arguemnt.
Praise or Condemn:
13 
3
11:22 pm
I’m sorry but you people aren’t even native English speakers (Denmark), so come on now, really?
Hot debate. What do you think?
4 
40
9:37 am
find one reliable source that defines incest as anything but sex with someone you are closely related to then.
unless you can i guess we will simply have proven that you are worse at your own language than people who has it as a secondary language.
Praise or Condemn:
17 
2
2:34 pm
Wow, way to really reach to make a point buddy. next you’ll be pulling out the Chewbacca defense on us.
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7 
2
2:59 pm
“That…does not…MAKE…SENSE!”
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22 
1
11:49 pm
By “literary device” do you mean Satire? Because you’re doing a damn good job =D
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
5:11 pm
I have 4 words for you Stevie: You are an asshole.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
46 
4
5:27 pm
The fact that someone wrote this with a deliberate and serious tone frightens me. This article is full of generalizations and backed by no scientific evidence whatsoever. I’m quite sure that even if a nonscientific study was performed on the types of girls who typically befriend homosexuals, maybe 3% would fit the mold described in this article. Most women are well adjusted, and part of large and accepting social circles. This is really pathetic, and the author should be ashamed of himself. Parents should teach their children to be accepting, regardless of color, creed or sexual orientation.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
64 
3
6:01 pm
Hi, this is not meant to be a science article, rather more advice for parents. Many Christians today have trouble navigating our fast moving culture, with its trends and focus on sex. People seek guidance and expertise. That’s why I write. I have written extensively on the “gay” lifestyle and have many different sources to draw on. I believe this article to be a service to those parents with young girls who are struggling. If you truly believe there is an error or typo, you are more than welcome to bring it to my attention but most of your comment has no relevance whatsoever to the matter at hand. WE’RE PROTECTING CHILDREN HERE!
Hot debate. What do you think?
7 
55
6:11 pm
“WE’RE PROTECTING CHILDREN HERE!”
Says the pedophile…
Seriously, Billings, you bear all of the warning signs of a pedophile:
-mid-50s
-overweight
-balding
-clown
-unmarried with no children
-leads excursions into the mountains with young boys and no other adult supervision
So we’ve had enough of you claiming to be “protecting the children” and accusing others of being pedophiles. If I was a parent, I wouldn’t let my kids within 100 feet of you.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
63 
4
6:24 pm
Yes indeed, Stephenson, we are trying to protect children. It is obvious from some of the comments that readers of your article have either missed the point or just don’t care about children.
I have followed your articles for quite some time and found them to be well-researched, reasonable and thoughtful. For an investigative journalist you haven’t let your fame go to your head and blind you to the needs of society; for that I commend you. Keep up the good work here at Christwire.
Hot debate. What do you think?
6 
69
7:56 pm
Soooo teaching children to hate is a good thing. I always thought god wanted us to get along with the popular as well as the outcasts. I didn’t know there was a sub clause to the commandment love they neighbor (sub clause: except if they are gay) gee thanks for the clarification.
Praise or Condemn:
25 
2
9:09 pm
We don’t hate homosexuals, we are just trying to exorcise the sin. And teaching young people about the Gay Agenda is incredibly important. Starting in just a few days is a fabulous opportunity for you young people to learn firsthand what the gay agenda is about by today’s leading Christian thinkers and leaders fighting against homosexuality in our kids. If you’re young and interested, there are scholarships available!
AFTAH Launches ‘Truth Academy’ to Train Young and Old How to Answer ‘Gay’ Misinformation
http://americansfortruth.com/news/aftah-launches-truth-academy-to-train-youth-on-how-to-fight-gay-agenda.html
Praise or Condemn:
4 
25
9:16 pm
//We don’t hate homosexuals, we are just trying to exorcise the sin. And teaching young people about the Gay Agenda is incredibly important. //
Bullshit you are. You hate gays, just admit it. How is gay being a sin if Jesus never said anything about it? Not only that, YOU are the one filling people with misinformation about gays. Seriously, stop lying to yourself and others and just shut the fuck up already.
Praise or Condemn:
14 
2
9:55 am
GAY AGENDA????? Really? Does it look something like this?
TO DO:
1. go to store for milk, bread, and dog food.
2. pick up kids school supplies.
3. sign up for volunteering at the hospice.
4. take over the world
smh, take your hypocritical, judgemental, condemning, hateful, ridiculous ideologies and shove it.
Praise or Condemn:
11 
3
7:27 pm
Stephenson – Never have I heard such blatant homophobia. Your fear and lack of knowledge is quite clear in the paragraphs you have so carefully articulated. It’s ok, you can come out and share your secret with the web…we promise to be much less judgmental and more understanding than you ever have…
Praise or Condemn:
22 
4
7:44 pm
To Mr. Billings:
Fair enough point that it is not meant to be a scientific article. But as I said, even a nonscientific study (i.e.: interviewing people on the street) would show that you are stereotyping and over-generalizing both the homosexual population as well as the female population. I feel that protecting children and “informing parents” means just that: you need to provide them with accurate, unbiased information to draw their own conclusions from. Although I understand this article is on Christwire and not a news site, I feel you’re doing your own audience a disservice by being so hateful in the name of Christ.
The culture nowadays does navigate towards sex much more than in the past, but you are oversimplifying complex and progressive societal trends if you choose to blame homosexuals solely for this. Additionally, you are concentrating on a very small percentage of the homosexual population, and that is an unfair representation to your readers. You also drew only on sources that agreed with your perspective on the matter.
As a side note, I attended private school for 9 years, so I do not have a hatred against organized religion. I do have a problem with irresponsible journalism however. You talk about girls with low self esteem, then in the same article appear to mock women who have made careers for themselves in certain professions, are in a healthy relationship but not yet married with children by their 30s/40s, or order a certain type of drink. You even go so far to blame these women for possibly making their mothers miserable alcoholics due to their potential lack of offspring that might result from befriending a gay male. You are contributing to the very low self esteem issues you write about by casting this level of judgement.
Negative influences can unfortunately be found in every social circle. Protecting children in my opinion isn’t about presenting partial and biased information to control them. It is to provide them resources to think for themselves and make the right decisions based on what makes them safe and happy. As somebody who was a young girl at one point, I can tell you that gay men were the least of my worries. Most young girls struggle with female peers making fun of them, or heterosexual males ridiculing them to advance their own standing in social circles. If you want to help girls who are struggling, start at the root of the problem, not at a hypothetical situation that affects probably less than a percentage of the female population.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
47 
3
11:25 pm
Here’s an easy to understand graph that explains some of the basic gender differences and I think they are completely applicable to my article as to why we have this issue of heterosexual girls and homosexual males forming temporary friendships. I hope this clears the issue up for you my friend and thanks for your persistence.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
20
12:08 am
That chart makes me want to jack off!!
Praise or Condemn:
13 
2
9:35 am
and how is that relevant? it’s not like teh girls brain changes because she’s with homosexual males.
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17 
2
2:52 am
http://www.isna.org/faq/frequency
a little chromosomal education
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0 
2
6:02 pm
“WE’RE PROTECTING CHILDREN HERE!”
I have been laughing through this article (and your responses!) until tears stream down my cheeks. The comments of the readers tend to disappoint, but the internet is full of people who can’t appreciate subtle satire when it sodomizes them against the mirror.
…You’re BRILLIANT, by the way. (BRILLIANT!) The iterations of your creativity describe a fractal of dizzying complexity. But of course I’m far too young to be conversing with a gentleman so enriched by experience as yourself, so don’t mind me. I’ll just be over here applying More Lipstick for Jesus. Men apparently love it when we glom it on.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
5:30 pm
LOL. Brilliant satire. “The scruff of the devil’s chest hair chafing our backs” bit is High Art
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
29 
2
6:12 pm
This is satire, right? The last picture is priceless.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
28 
2
6:41 pm
Steve,
You should be in jail.
The way you present your absurd premises as fact, even though they are unfounded, prejudiced and frankly, digusting, fabrications you your own deranged mind, is utterly petrifying; I’m terrified anyone might read it and take it as truth. My only solace is that it is so absurd that it is extremely unlikely anyone will be hoodwinked by your rantings.
Praise or Condemn:
25 
2
11:31 pm
Fortunately I live in the United States of America and not Communist China.
Hot debate. What do you think?
5 
32
8:48 pm
by your incredible logic I should be able to call you a self-righteous, bible-bashing, homophobic, wannabe journalist, who most likely suffered from acne as a teenager. But I won’t because I know that my freedom ends where someone else’s begins. No good can ever come of closed minded people like you. I can only hope that you did not procriate.
Praise or Condemn:
17 
3
9:09 pm
The correct spelling is “procreate.”
Praise or Condemn:
6 
19
9:18 pm
So you’re admitting everything else is true. Finally admitting the truth to yourself or are you just being retarded like usual?
Praise or Condemn:
7 
3
9:18 pm
that was a typ-o, and you know it. it does not invalidate my point.
I could tell you that english is not my first language but then you would probably call me a “godless anti-american heathen” or something to that effect.
reply like a man!
Praise or Condemn:
11 
2
12:46 am
You say Communist China like it’s a bad thing. Here’s my attempt to draw a parallel that you can comprehend:
The United States has always been and still is a republic. We have a certain number of people who are elected to represent the general population in most matters. As a nation, we are represented by a president. Our current one is President Obama. Not everyone likes or wants to be represented by President Obama. This goes to show that the general population is not automatically equated with President Obama.
In the same way, China has a Communist government. It does not make the citizens of China some sort of horrible demonic monsters. Being a Communist citizen is like being either a Republican or a Democratic citizen in the US; it’s just simply who has been in power and it has no impact on daily life. As a matter of fact, health care, groceries, restaurant food, basically everything is much cheaper in China. It would be a wonderful place to retire and move to for its potential day to day convenience and low expense.
Don’t throw these big overarching labels onto things so easily; any form of government is hypothetically acceptable, it’s just the people who run it that will cause corruption.
Your ignorance and prejudice terrifies me. You might try to engage the more “female” aspect of your brain and learn another language; it’s not too terribly hard and it really creates an understanding, fascination, and appreciation of other cultures and their differences.
Praise or Condemn:
13 
2
1:00 am
finally someone who has a Brain in USA tsch …
Those redneck hate communism because they don,t know anything about it they have been raised in republic and yet the republicanism is not what you actually have ( republicanism is very much close to communism actually)
The main idea in republicanism is help the matters INSIDE THE COUNTRY first for his people either health, market, security
yet what USA get since what 1960 if not more is well Bullshit is closer to theocracy in some word
( theocracy actually is the worst form of government)
Praise or Condemn:
4 
2
7:32 pm
Claire is a “fag hag”
Praise or Condemn:
5 
15
7:35 pm
Yes I am. I said so on Confessionwire.
Praise or Condemn:
17 
1
11:26 pm
I actually know No girl who is not a lot of girls is a Fag hag
Praise or Condemn:
4 
2
7:35 pm
This is by far the best, most elucidating expository text I have ever read on the intersection of gay and heterosexual lifestyles. I have seen lives destroyed first hand in the movies, and I have read about them being destroyed first hand in fictional novels. You might say, “those don’t sound like first hand sources” and to that i would reply “I am keeping the gays out of my life as much as possible, this is as first hand as it gets for me.” This is serious stuff. And it’s got The Fear back in me.
Hot debate. What do you think?
12 
47
11:32 pm
Thank you for the gracious words, Andrew. Jesus loves You (me too!). God bless.
Hot debate. What do you think?
6 
34
2:10 am
Andrew’s comment was satire you infected fucking douche-nozzle. He was making fun of you. You’re as dense as you are ignorant.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
29 
3
4:33 pm
“Dense” and “ignorant” mean the same thing so I don’t know what your pithy little phrases is supposed to tell me other than that you are a bit of an imbecile.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
22
4:42 pm
How this: you’re as stupid as you are to resistant to learning anything than what the bible tells you, or rather, what you interpret the bible as.
Praise or Condemn:
10 
3
12:38 am
This pretty much sums up how the Lord makes me feel about this:
Then Moses said to Aaron, “Take your censer and put incense in it, along with fire from the altar, and hurry to the assembly to make atonement for them. Wrath has come out from the LORD; the plague has started.”
-Numbers: 45-47
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1 
7
6:36 pm
(“Dense” and “ignorant” mean the same thing so I don’t know what your pithy little phrases is supposed to tell me other than that you are a bit of an imbecile.)
You crazy, internet drivel spouting, homophobic nutter; “dense” and “ignorant” CAN have the same definition but they can ALSO have differing definitions. In this case I’m pretty sure the appropriate definition of dense would be “thick headed and stupid” and “ignorant” would be “you have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about”.
I would like to add to this list of words defining you: egotistical.
Praise or Condemn:
12 
4
8:23 pm
Some of the best sex I have ever had has come from fag hags! I am a straight male who’s not afraid to hang out in gay clubs. The men don’t bother me, as I do not set off their gaydar. The straight females are much more comfortable with a straight man who’s not afraid to hang out in a gay bar, and will definitely put out. I’ve probably gotten more poontang in gay bars than I have anywhere else.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
38 
4
4:06 am
Dito there dude, as long as you act with respect towards their friends the streight chicks in gay clubs are awesome to hook up with.
Praise or Condemn:
7 
1
11:35 pm
I have a few gay male friends, and lived with a man I wasn’t dating for a couple months. I was socially out-casted in high school, and had terrible acne.
Now I am extremely intelligent, in Graduate school, absolutely fucking gorgeous and had no trouble at all being attracted to the man I’ve been serious with for a year and a half.
I must have sold my soul or something, because from your blatant concern for children (that doesn’t reek of extreme homophobia at all), scientific facts, and blatant disregard for others culture and lifestyle in ‘the name of Absolute Truth,’ it sounds like I should be old, haggard and living with my cats (which, by the way, are probably offended that you even concerned them in this far fetched and pitiful attempt at a fairy tale).
Or it could honestly be that you’re picking on women socially awkward during a socially awkward time of their lives (along with blaming both genders that don’t fit into their domestic and suppressive stereotypes) and using it to blame something you don’t understand. But this is mostly because you’ve never wanted to in the first place; you are the type of person to make outcasts out of these ‘faghags’ in the first place for not being absolutely ‘perfect’ in your twisted idea of society. People like you are why I had a hard time fitting in during high school and I love showing them that their little internet blogs are nothing compared to my achievements even without a man.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
35 
2
12:17 am
Please thank goodness you are one of the lucky ones!
Hot debate. What do you think?
3 
27
12:31 am
You really are fucking stupid, aren’t you? She just said your blog was a load of crap and you didn’t even notice half of it.
Go back to reading your bible upside, or drawing on the walls with crayons again.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
29 
3
2:09 am
Is Eric Nies gay!?!?
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
11:49 am
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
2:40 pm
This was an incredibly hilarious, yet somewhat depressing, look into the psyche of self-aggrandized bigots who like to stir up fear in the hearts of others in the hope that they can gain more adherents to their extremely narrow-minded and petty world-view. I know your type is not big on the sciences, but please try to use some empirical evidence in the future. It may lend a *bit* more credibility to your ridiculousness. Your blog is rife with antiquated and shallow stereotypes that have long lost relevance as society advances to more egalitarianism and a more civilized state. It would be a waste of my time to point out your hypocrisy, errors, and outright lies. I only visited this site because it is a thing of mockery that a friend linked to for a laugh. I am a good, educated Christian who condemns your bigoted speech. I have a career and a good husband who loves and respect me, as well as close friends who are homosexual–friends who in fact introduced me to my husband, the man who will soon be father of my child. I am certain you will vilify, condescend, and condemn me as an impostor, liar, or misguided but I have no doubt on the day of Judgment, for all your assertions of faith and religiosity, you will be asked how well you adhered to Matthew 22:36-40, John 7:53-8:11, and Luke 6:37-38. Judge yourself fairly and stop pretending you are qualified to give advice on Christianity or humanity.
Praise or Condemn:
23 
2
4:35 pm
Well, as I stated previously this is not a science article, more of a lifestyle advice piece on the perils of that face young women today. I really can’t impress on parents enough the necessity of being involved in their children’s lives, watching what they watch on tv, monitoring their internet usage just as in the old days we used to make girls introduced any boys they wanted to date over a family dinner.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
17
2:50 pm
The perils that young women face? Like their parents tarting them up like little streetwalkers (aka “wearing popular clothing styles”)? Or maybe you’re referring to them being made to adhere to outdated & archaic mythology for their sense of morals. Yes, that’s right dear – go “be fruitful and multiply” – because every young woman should be a baby factory for god. That’s right, only rely on a man for everything instead of being a strong, independent woman. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
You are the FARTHEST thing from a true Christian there is. No one but GOD can judge (if you believe in your own Bible), yet you levy judgments like your name was Wopner.
When the apocalypse comes, I’ll be happy to know folks like yourself will be on the fast track to hell while the rest of us poor, meek, and all the other outcasts of society (like gays) march our way through the Pearly Gates, pointing and laughing at you as your back hair gets singed by the eternal fires.
If you HAD a soul, it would be the color of pitch.
Praise or Condemn:
10 
2
5:01 pm
Stephenson,
Once again right on the money, praise Jesus! And you have wonderfully accompanied your perceptive comments with photographic evidence of the wicked homo lifestyle. The internet is teeming with such photos and I have amassed quite a collection myself to show to my doubting friends. Sometimes we’re up all hours of the night looking at them and praying for the souls of the participants.
Keep up God’s work!
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15
7:42 pm
So we’re calling looking at gay porn all night as ‘praying’ now? I hadn’t realized. Thank you for letting me know.
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2
5:15 pm
“I really can’t impress on parents enough the necessity of being involved in their children’s lives, watching what they watch on tv, monitoring their internet usage just as in the old days we used to.”
That is good advice. The schlock you posted above, however, is not.
First, I would like to point out how ridiculous it is that you suggest that a teenage girl who is uncomfortable talking about her acne is on drugs! She’s more likely uncomfortable because her parent is pointing out something that she is already sensitive about!
Second, when I first read this article I thought it was a parody. Why? Because this article reads like it is penned by a closeted gay man, not a concerned hetero Christian dad. You know a lot more about chest waxing than any gay man I know, and I live in New York City!
If we really want to raise our children under a good Christian example, we don’t need to be telling them that their friends will carry them all the way to hell. Instead, encourage them to make positive contacts in their church or community, to study the Word and seek out friends who have Christ-like attributes. Engage them in discourse about their interests and friends instead of bashing them. And dont fall prey to stereotypes – I promise if you are a good Dad, you’d rather your daughter hang out with a gay guy that is kind and long suffering than a straight one that treats her like dirt.
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5:41 pm
I think it’s important to be involved in all aspects of a child’s life. How would have turned out had your mother taken her eyes off you and let you wander in the streets and meet strange men in parks? Believe me there are just as many indifferent mothers today as in the past– they’d rather have a cigarette and a high ball with the handyman than take the time to teach their sons something about morality and decency and what sorts of role models are these pushing their husbands for a new car, a convertible for instance, so they can cruise around town in tight tops while their dear husbands slave away for the money to make the car payments all the while they’re tapping their cigarette ash in coffee cups and sleeping in front of the tv, gameshows and chatty neighborhood women who make fun of those who go to church. I just dont think we have really climbed out of the past, of that 70s mentality of sexaual promiscuity and men being shortchanged and all the roots of liberlism are coming home to roost today with the programs advocating for special gay rights and trying to deny Christians the right of free speech despite everything we have contributed to this country, everything we have done, so much work just to bring love and faith to the lives of all those who suffer and even if they’ve sinned and are immoral we’re there with open arms saying Come Back to Church and We Still Love You but they just want to run away from you, act like you’re crazy or something so they can drink rum all day and watch game shows and reruns and I dont think most people release this is what MORAL DECLINE tastes like.As I said before, It is a slippery slope, my friend.
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5:58 pm
//I think it’s important to be involved in all aspects of a child’s life. How would have turned out had your mother taken her eyes off you and let you wander in the streets and meet strange men in parks?//
Then the mother would be a total dumbass. Oh wait, you’re referring to children as anyone under 30. Then you don’t have a clue as to what the fuck you’re talking about. There’s being involved and making sure the child doesn’t screw up their life, and then there’s sheltering them, preventing them from being fully functional human beings. YOU, dumbass, are in favor of sheltering someone until they’re well past the legal age to drink. People have to learn to make their own decisions and make their own minds up. You can’t make up the decisions of others, no matter how hard you try.
//Believe me there are just as many indifferent mothers today as in the past– they’d rather have a cigarette and a high ball with the handyman than take the time to teach their sons something about morality and decency and what sorts of role models are these pushing their husbands for a new car, a convertible for instance, so they can cruise around town in tight tops while their dear husbands slave away for the money to make the car payments all the while they’re tapping their cigarette ash in coffee cups and sleeping in front of the tv, gameshows and chatty neighborhood women who make fun of those who go to church.//
Ok, what the fuck are you smoking, or where the fuck have you been? What woman does that? ESPECIALLY when in this day and age, BOTH parents have to work in order to pull any sort of income. How the hell is the mother driving around town showing her car off if she can’t afford it, quite literally, because there isn’t enough income. No one is THAT stupid that hasn’t already fucked up their life. Do you just watch tv and instantly assume that people on the dramas and whatnot are the EXACT same in real life?
//I just dont think we have really climbed out of the past, of that 70s mentality of sexaual promiscuity and men being shortchanged and all the roots of liberlism are coming home to roost today with the programs advocating for special gay rights and trying to deny Christians the right of free speech despite everything we have contributed to this country, everything we have done, so much work just to bring love and faith to the lives of all those who suffer and even if they’ve sinned and are immoral we’re there with open arms saying Come Back to Church and We Still Love You but they just want to run away from you, act like you’re crazy or something so they can drink rum all day and watch game shows and reruns and I dont think most people release this is what MORAL DECLINE tastes like.//
Fuck, you don’t know anything about grammar, do you? If that isn’t a run on sentence, I don’t know what is. 1. You aren’t saying you love people, you’re saying the exact opposite and that everyone should just burn. 2. For all the good religion, and Christianity in particular, there’s also an incredible amount of terrible things done, all in the name of God, a God who would incinerate those people for bastardizing his name. Don’t you sit there like a damn king, thinking you’re some kind of holy being when you’re just as guilty as anyone else of any other crime or sin. Christians aren’t ‘holy’ beings in the least, and how dare you claim to be one when you don’t practice what you preach, you lie, you cast your sins on others, you misinterpret everything, you don’t bother explaining your actions, you run away when confronted, you damn everything, and you act as if humanity should judge themselves when your own bible states that only God has that right. YOU ARE AN INSULT TO CHRISTIANS EVERYWHERE! There have been a number of Christians here ALONE that have pointed out how un-Christian like you are. You’re nothing but a zealot, a bastard, and slime. You claim all your enemies are liberals, atheists, and gays. Buddy, when half a dozen other religions, and a good number of your own, are calling bullshit, and when Republicans are calling bullshit, you should probably just kill yourself. You don’t bother doing any research, you lie and sin. You are a perfect representation of Lucifer. Yahweh will damn you faster than you can think. Fuck, is there a circle of hell for people like you? I think you qualify too well for all 9 of them. Hell, you’ll probably make your own at this rate.
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3:09 am
and the 19 layer of chiense hell as well actually there is no place for him in heaven nor in Hell
and he comes saying that we are against his freedom of speech when he use it on abusive way spreading propaganda hate speech racism sexism and wanted to Nuke every other country eriously even if it’s a parody site wishing death to someone or a WHOLE country could bring you more indesirable people to your doorstep
and after that they ask why Other country hates american ?
want me to enumerate every fucking countries you attacked since 1950 ??? ( I talks to Billings) Most of Them did Nothing to You and I really weight my word NOTHING they were minding their own business yes their Political view were different (most of their ideology were socialist and communist) but they fucking decided attacked them because of this ONLY fucking reason ???
and they said but but they oppress their own people they don’t know human right I said Bullshit they Know more about Human right than you american You are an actual shame to the world Nobody Loves you if you still have the “inch of respect” is because of black people asian people latino people and other immigrant other wise we don,t give shit about your so called christianity and freedom My ass
The jews were more free in their concentration camp in germany during WWII
what christianity has done to USA well being the fall of your own country it’s what they did other wise you are what martin walkin said about atheist in his last video : a parasite to humanity
SO Billings Go kill yourself
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6:12 pm
I speak with the authority of experience.
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6:35 pm
Unless you named your ass “experience”, you’re a damned liar. Where’s your proof? Oh, that’s right, you don’t have any! Wanna prove me wrong? Then show me your proof and your credentials. Show your ‘journalist id’ and prove you know even an eighth of what the hell you talk about.
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7:51 pm
“there are just as many indifferent mothers today as in the past– they’d rather have a cigarette and a high ball with the handyman than take the time to teach their sons something about morality and decency ”
Who ARE these women you keep referring to? Have you ever thought that your own experience (which I’m sure you’re lacking) is not even remotely close to reality? I’m thinking you actually don’t respect women and you’re trying to find an out to your sexism….who better to blame than the smallest minority on the planet, yes?
Can you just give up the advice articles? I mean, it’s clear that you have no personal experience and you’ve already admitted that your research skills are non-existent. What’s the point? Your three fans (all ending with variations of ‘praise God’) have not done you any further service in the credibility department.
I really just feel sad for you. You’ve spent all this time writing this article and responding to (intellectually superior) dissenters when all you should have done was find someone to give you a big hug and tell you that God doesn’t hate you for being gay. I hope one day you get that hug.
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7:09 pm
Have you ever met an actual gay man? It’s strange to me that anyone thinks that every gay man behaves in the exact same way, just like it would be obtuse of me to believe that every Christian is as bigoted and blind as you are.
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9:30 pm
I’m sorry, but has anyone ever pointed out to you that your writing is…well, almost erotic in nature? You use pretty vivid language to describe how you believe a homosexual male dresses, how smooth his chest may be, how his physiques of “glistening perfection” (your word, not mine). “Perky biceps”?? Please. And why the graphic scene where you had society being raped? It was a lousy metaphor, it was absolutely inappropriate for a “Christian” publication, and to be frank, I think you were aroused by your own subject matter. The same thing goes for your “article” about Bill Murray. I see you list yourself as a childrens’ entertainer. I hope parents read your articles before deciding to hire you for their child’s next party.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
31 
2
6:01 am
I think you may be projecting a “wee” bit of your own poofiness on my writing, my friend.
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2:54 pm
If anyone is projecting anything, it’s you projecting your inner self onto everyone and then judging them for it. You have no idea what party anyone here belongs to, do you?
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9:16 pm
“I think you may be projecting a “wee” bit of your own poofiness on my writing, my friend.”
Dude, the word wee is an accepted word in the English language meaning very tiny. There’s no need for the quotation marks. Idiot.
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2:57 pm
Anyone care to take bets on Stephenson being a close “friend” of Ted Haggards?
Enjoyed lots of methamphetamine fueled sex romps with more closeted self-haters like yourself, hmmmm?
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10:33 pm
Hello,
I happened to stumble on this for the first time when my friend sent me a link to another article. I consider myself Christian. While I disagree with this article, I do want to ask you a question simply because I’m genuinely interested to know your answer.
Why are you so against homosexuality? And I would prefer if you didn’t just give me the typical “God says its a sin in the Bible” because I’m sure even you can recognize that the Bible has been translated and re-translated over hundreds of years. There have been sections taken out and information erased. So, I genuinely want to know why homosexuality is considered so wrong?
I love God and what He stands for and I believe that God is, first and foremost, love. When I think of him, I do not think of “sin” and “judgment”, I think of “love” and “acceptance”. I can understand why He says we should not kill because it ends a life and causes pain toward others. I can understand why He says that we should not bare false witness because we really cannot function as a society if no one tells the truth. And, yes, I can even understand why He does not want us to commit adultery because abstinence does reduce unwanted/early pregnancies and spread STDs.
However, why would he condemn love? Shouldn’t we try to encourage all of the love that we can in a world where there is so much hatred and violence? Isn’t there enough intolerance toward people of different ethnicity, gender, age, sexuality, etc.?
I, too, am what you call a “fag hag”. You can say what you will about us because, yes, you have a right to your own opinions and beliefs but I am sorry if you feel this way about us. Because you do not seem to understand the love that I share with my best friend and the love that he gives to other people. Does he influence me? Yes, probably as much as my other friends do. Do I depend on him? To an extent but, again, no more than I do on my other friends. Does his influence give me more “masculine” habits? Well, it depends on what you define as masculine.
Instead, I would say that knowing him has opened doors for me to understand the kind of person I could be, if I wanted to be that person. But, then again, all of my friends do that, not just my gay friends. All of my friends influence me in some way. Pointing out one characteristic in some of my friends, such as those who are “homosexual”, to list the “negative” influences they have over me is rather pointless. You could just as easily single out brunettes and probably make close to the same argument. Every person has both a “negative” and a “positive” influence on everyone, especially on children.
Of course, now there’s the question over whether these “negative” consequences of having a gay friend are truly “negative”, but I won’t get into that because it would take longer and I’m sure you’ve already heard an earful from many other people. Suffice to say that basically putting that girls who have gay best friends will end up lonely with no self-esteem is a pretty shallow claim that probably cannot even be proven with proper scientific research. To me, it just seems like you are trying to place more blame on the gay population and isolate them even farther.
From your articles that I’ve read that are based on homosexuality, I feel that you don’t understand love in relation to the people you call “homosexuals”. I sincerely hope that you do not approach people with the constant question of “are they homosexual?” to judge if you can befriend them because if you are, then you are missing out on a lot of love.
And no, I’m not talking about the “incestuous” kind of love. I’m talking about the love that our Lord, Jesus, spread to everybody. And when I mean everybody, I mean EVERYBODY, not just those who are straight.
Thanks for listening and I would appreciate your opinion,
Sky
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6:15 am
Beyond the Biblical, homosexuality represents the very lowest of what society can achieve. These are men (talking of the gay man here), who see fit to turn themselves in courtesans, prettying up their bodies in expensive and tight clothes and “manscaping”, they gel their hair and wear creams on their faces and smile outrageously at any heterosexual they meet on the street.
Their lust for straight men in unnerving and eats away at my very core. It’s as if they want to reach out and touch you every where they way they look at your or jump you for a chat in some corner of the internet, always asking everything about you and your clothes and what your body looks like and what your hobbies are– and yes I do that, but I don’t mean like the way I do it, I mean in this slick and slimy way where you both know they just want to get in your pants and even though you tell them you’re straight they persist and persist, trying to lure you off somewhere or break you down, weaken and exhaust you so they can jump you in your tent or the living room couch, believe me if I haven’t seen it many times before I’ve heard about it happening enough to know.
And these men, why must they keep at us straight guys? We are uncomfortable around it, it’s eerie and not right. Say I go to the steam room at the Y, why do the men there have to sneak looks at each other when I sit down? Or maybe they stop some secret fondling when I approach or then it’s the guys who drop their towels “by mistake” and it was all over the place when I was younger in the 70s, this is how the gay man operated, hanging out in public toilets of all places! Toilets! Do you know what I use a toilet for? Well, I’d rather no one know because that’s my business and when your privacy is invaded by some guy peeping through the space in the barrier or through the screwholes where the toilet paper roll used to be it’s scary, makes you clench and I am afraid of rest stops now and those steam rooms and the Y and public parks and everything because the game man is like a locust, just spreading out everywhere even here in Tennessee where i thought I was safe, but guess what? No, they are here too always chekcing out other men and sneaking off into bathroom stalls… I mean people defecate in those places, isn’t that wrong to use it as a space for hardcore sex?
I’m sorry if I haven’tanswered your question, it’s not the right time of day for me but I do have my reasons and they are personal but in a larger, much larger way I have my Bible and my Faith and there are better, more intelligent answers to the question of homosexuality in there and so to the teachings of Christ and God I will always defer. God bless!
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8:25 am
“Beyond the Biblical, homosexuality represents the very lowest of what society can achieve.”
So you think that homosexuality is worse than, say, rape, murder, and pedophilia…? That’s sad.
“and yes I do that, but I don’t mean like the way I do it, I mean in this slick and slimy way”
Uh, no, the way you do it is pretty sick and slimy. I’m sure anyone on here would agree.
“and even though you tell them you’re straight they persist and persist, trying to lure you off somewhere or break you down”
Ahh, you mean like how even though I tell you that no, I don’t want you to come to my house, or no, I don’t want to meet you for coffee, you persist and persist?
“Do you know what I use a toilet for?”
Dude, we already think that you’re ugly, disgusting, and vile enough. We do NOT need to hear about your waste removal habits! Yuck…
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5:57 pm
I think Mister billings has some sexual Urge inside of Him … seriously You said straigt men feel intimidated by gay weird I know many gay I even went to the gay Village in Montreal and I didn’t feel Intimidated I even used their bathroom in the steak house restaurant and I didn’t had wall sex like you said in some of your article
just to mention Homosexual are very much Open to straigt men and women as well they even have waiter/waitress of heterosexual nature who worked there
actually Gay are funny they talks joke about sex and seriously it’s was funny I even went to Mado ( its some dragqueen bar ) for the show of my friend’s sister) and the dragqueen said funny joke and even bashed on a lot of Guys in so funny way but well since you are a religious freak you will surely Not Like what is funny in life maybe you should stay home and close your door and lock it and stay there Until you die ?
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3:06 pm
Um…i’m straight as an arrow, and I “manscape” – you know what, WOMEN LIKE IT. They like it a LOT. In fact, I have landed far more dates based upon my excellent grooming habits than you’re every likely to experince personally…well, of course I’m attractive and you’re a bit of a troll, now aren’t you
Do you know why women befriend gay men? Because they’re not meatheaded louts like you. They’re sensitive, funny, articulate, and typically some of the nicest people you could be around. They’re generous and know how to listen. So yes, lots of women gravitate towards them…this doesn’t mean the woman isn’t strong minded or that she’s at any sort of risk whatsoever. This means she’s smart enough to pick and choose what people bring out the best qualities in her. If she has the choice between a “manly” bigot like you, and an effeminate homosexual who treats her with respect – guess which choice makes better sense.
Oh, and now for Bible lesson time…the only mention of homosexuality being anything even remotely like a “sin” (which it is not), is in the OLD TESTAMENT. Specifically Leviticus…but in that same chapter, they tell you not to mix fabrics, or eat shellfish…which means, if you have ever done either, you’re a SINNER. Too bad you “Christians” don’t know your own religion well enough to know the actual context in which this stuff was written. The word “abomination” is not the same as “sin”. They were speaking SPECIFICALLY about JEWISH RITUAL. But of course a walmart “Christian” like yourself wouldn’t be smart enough to know that….you would be far more likely to try and ban a textbook with that type of information.
Your opinion, article, and person are laughable at best, and terrifying at worst, because some people probably believe this garbage.
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8:11 pm
I thought straight people had given up on that metrosexual trend a few years back?
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3
8:37 pm
Metrosexuals are awesome.
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9:21 pm
You could read a blog post and think it’s real or believe what is says, how do you know ANYTHING?
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3:56 pm
Are you too inept to respond to Marco’s question?? If you have a response it would really help me to understand what is going on with all this homosexual persecution. Especially when people condemn homosexuals based on the bible one moment then claim to just follow the New Testament a minute later. I have asked that same question for years and never gotten a straight answer. Can you settle it? Or is it like I thought where all of you are just easily manipulated to be instruments of division amongst the people of the US?
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1:40 am
this is hilarious! i love a good satirical piece! great web site. i even thought it was serious for a minute. also, great social cometary on how twisted religion can be! i love it. you’ve actually got people debating and arguing with you over some of the funniest shit i’ve ever read! lol. almost a great as the onion! keep up the good work, you’ll give them a run for their money!
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8:16 am
Demand to see Stephenson Billings’ credentials:
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/stephenson-billings-show-us-your-credentials
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8:33 am
Mr. Billings,
You used a photo in the article of Eric Nies, a straight man who gained his fame from being a cast member on the first season of the Real World (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_Nies). This is just one of the many inconsistencies in your article.
You claim to be a journalist, but the whole objective of journalism is to be balanced and fair – that’s journalism 101. Your OPINION COLUMN has nothing based on fact. What frightens me is that there are Christians who read your retorts/rants and take them as God’s spoken word, so to speak. Your uninformed column is full of hate and over-generalizations that are offensive not only to homosexuals, but to women. The concerned mother who wrote the letter to you should be offended.
I am so proud that I have Christian parents who are far more tolerant and treat people as people – isn’t that what the bible tells you to do? Love thy neighbor? Hate the sin, love the sinner?
But for the sake of comedy, which this article was hilarious, I hope you’re trying to be funny.
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9:11 am
Which one above is Eric Nies? None of them look like the person you linked to.
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10:17 am
The picture of which I’m referring is the one of the Eric Nies laying in a bed shirtless. That picture was probably taken around 20 years ago, but that is him. Here’s another one:
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10:20 am
Okay – that picture loader didn’t work. I did just a plain Google search for Eric Nies and it was one of the images that popped up.
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5:35 pm
Oh well that doesn’t have to do with anything. Its jusy supposed to represent sexual temptation of women. I thought you were talking about the guy next to Liz Taylor in the first pic.
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8:43 am
This is one of the most offensive, ridiculous, hateffull, and full of bullshit articles ive ever read. Its people like you that keep our society from truly loving one another and coming together to embrace our differences, to realize the value of every individual in this world….not just the white, rich, conservative, religously alienating bigots like yourself. If you beleive that homosexuals and “fag hags” are condemned by god for their beleifs and actions, then i can assure you there is a special level of hell for those who breed hate, shallow mistrust, and narrow minded propoganda like this.
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11:41 am
“In her 30s and 40s, the female’s biological urge to be bear children will be forgotten in an alcoholic haze. She will only communicate with her child-rearing childhood friends via Facebook. Privately, she’ll scorn their balding, beer-bellied husbands and broods of jelly-smeared children.”
Yes, this sounds incredible, I can’t wait!
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2:59 pm
This article is just another screed of judgement & opinion, uneducated at that. I don’t understand how you can be a Christian and tells these lies and present them as truth. For all the talk about Christian morals in an “unsaved world,” how can you lie and judge so much?
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3:12 pm
Isn’t it libelous to have a picture of Eric Neis here? I mean, he’s not gay but you’re presenting him as such. And do you even have the right to publish that picture? I have a feeling the photo is stolen. There is no credit given to the photographer. You do know you can’t just publish photos willy nilly, right? You do need permissions.
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5:39 pm
Patrick, so you’re saying homosexuality is so offensive and wrong that to accuse someone of being gay in America should be a crime? Well, I agree on the offensive and wrong part.
As for the rest of your silly comment, you understand very little but thanks for trying. Where do I say, “Eric Nies is a blatant homosexual”??? And you don’t know how I got that photos so stop your inane speculation. Ever heard of royalty free imagery?
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6:01 pm
hmmm sorry to tell you but he is right about stealing a picture from a site is actually wrong if this website has copyright
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6:17 pm
http://www.fabuloussavers.com/Man_in_Bed-Handsome_Men_freecomputerdesktopwallpaper.shtml
stop nitpicking.
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12:37 pm
free handsome men screen savers?
what the hell were you doing on that site if not looking for some hot guy you could drool over. don’t say it was simple picture searching there’s a long list of places you’d find long before in any random search.
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3:13 pm
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA! Wow Billings…way to out yourself with that link. Who wants to take bets we wind up seeing this clown on “To Catch a Predator” in the next 5 years.
You’re a sick, evil minded bigot…most likely a self hating homosexual or pedophile by what we’ve seen thus far.
But before you rebuke me – you’ve made grand, sweeping judgments…why shouldn’t the rest of us?
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6:19 pm
You’re just fucking stupid. There’s no excuse for you anymore.
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3:15 pm
This really is high camp at its best. Susan Sontag would be proud!
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6:19 pm
Thank you Susan.
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3:32 pm
To quote the couple on Modern Family, ‘Who hurt you?’
This is the biggest bunch of biased, un-researched bulls–t I have ever read. So much so that, against my better judgement, I am sharing to all my friends so hopefully they can laugh at your banal, out of touch, and bat-sh@*t crazy article.
The homosexual is not only health conscious, in tune with the sensitivities of both man and woman, but in this case also educated. The homosexual has taken the time to go to college and strengthen his god-given oratory and literary talents so if called upon, he can offer a retort to the silly ramblings of The Stephenson Billings a fantastic pseudonym that The Homosexual would place on par with Mark Twain.
The Stephenson Billings is like an abused animal. Cowering, confused, afraid of the unwarranted abuse they receive and perplexed as to why they receive it. They will certainly be loyal out of sheer fear of what would happen should they question authority. Make no mistake, The Stephenson Billings does not know right from wrong, and cannot be called upon for defense or support as ever fiber in their being only knows fear and acts only in a way as to allay their fear, although no ‘fear-act’ will ever rid them of this plague. Yes, the Stepehnson Billings is something to pity; a lost soul, a life wasted in confusion and angst, a person on a path to no redemption in this life or the next.
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5:42 pm
Hi Dan, I would ask that you calm down and control yourself in you’d like to post here. You nattering babble contributes nothing to the solid discourse of American values that should be happening here.
As for the note of health consciousness, did you skip the part where I read that homosexuals spend all their time at the gym? But ultimately I’m talking about spiritual health and you can’t plug that hole in your life with random sex, no matter how hard you people try. God bless.
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8:14 pm
Wow…so what set you off about his post Billings? There are certainly more heated and spiteful comments than Big GAY Dan’s but you asked only him to calm down. Could it be…..no….you aren’t homophobic….but, hmmm. His name DID have the word GAY in it.
Your mother should be ashamed.
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3:35 pm
HILARIOUS! Funniest thing I’ve ever read on the internet. You should be writing for The Onion, dude! And I love that you stay in character for all these responses. Excellent stuff!
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3:48 pm
Sweetie:
No proper homosexual shops at Bloomingdale’s – we are all at Barney’s or Bergdorf’s. And Key West is really so over – trashy straight people (the type you are trying to contact in this piece of crap) arrive there daily by the cruiseful. You can find the homos in Fort Lauderdale.
Also, all of the crystal meth, sex parties, etc… Could you please send some more information on where those are happening? Because this fag seems to have found himself in a long term relationship, with a full-time job, sizeable mortgage and pretty much the American dream.
You are a small minded, judgmental, hateful bigot. Please crawl back into what ever foul crevice (not a reference to your mother, although she obviously did a job on you) you came from. You don’t deserve to be a part of our society.
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5:49 pm
Thank you Ken. It’s people like you, no matter our differences, who only make my expertise on radical lifestyles stronger by sharing firsthand knowledge.
And, sadly, you can see the worst of the worst aspects of homosexual depravity on Atlanta’s Men Wanting Men section of Craigslist.org, including drugs and leather.
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5:59 pm
So Stevie, how is Hooked on Phonics working for you? You seem to be having quite a bit of trouble reading there buddy.
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8:32 pm
Huh??
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11:26 am
What were you doing in the Atlanta’s Men Wanting Men section of Craigslist.org?
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4:14 pm
This is SATIRE people. And yes, the use of the word ‘incestuous’ is perfectly legitimate in this context, even though it does not refer literally to immediate blood relatives having sex.
Thanks for a great read!
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4:28 pm
Praise Jeebus!
Look lady, it’s not my gay fault that some women don’t marry fat, balding men and beget rugrats. What is scary is that you actually believe whatever portion of what you have composed.
I have
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4:33 pm
Oh my! Well that was my laugh for the day!
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4:51 pm
Mr. Billings, you are a true hero and a man of God. This article left me breathless, spent and fully satiated.
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5:17 pm
1) I think you’re getting all your information about gay men from Sex and the City. Believe it or not, there are gay men who *gasp* don’t go clubbing! Or, *gasp* want to settle down. Just as not all heterosexual men are interested in sports or beer, not all gay men are interested in getting drunk every night. Have you ever actually met any gay people? Or are your “sources” heresay.
2) Even more offensive than your gross generalizations of gays is your gross generalizations about what women should be doing with themselves. Parents should clean up their daughters’ skin so that she can “live up to their expectations?” It’s good to know that the parents that read your column have no greater expectation for their daughters than that they land a husband. I’m shocked that in this day and age people still think that the only thing that women are on the planet to do is get married and have babies. That we have nothing else to contribute. It’s sad. And I feel bad for the daughters of any of your readers who take this seriously.
3) I am a heterosexual female with both gay and lesbian friends. While I enjoy their company – and have since high school – it doesn’t prevent me from meeting or enjoying men. And I don’t know any “fag hag” for whom that’s the case. Yes, women and gay men share similar interests sometimes, but not all gay men are the same, not all straight women are the same, and I promise you that most of them are not as weak-minded as you make them out to be in your ill-informed and mean spirited column.
I doubt that Christ would support a rant that so visciously slanders an entire group of people simply to push an agenda, even if that agenda is supposedly on His behalf.
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5:26 pm
PS – if this site is satire, it’s very poorly done. I’ve met Stephen Colbert, and you, website, are not Stephen Colbert.
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6:00 pm
Hi Theresa, well thank you for your input. The great thing about the internet is that you get to hear from all sorts of people, and even those who are simply not that impressive or relevant, can leave an impression. You love Stephen Colbert? Let me guess, you’re a pre-packed liberal who goes to parties on weekends where you love to express how incredulous you are about Sarah Palin, just like everyone else around you. You find comedy in the comfortable 30 minute sitcoms on NBC– 30 Rock, Parks & Recreation– and then sometimes have a single glass of red wine to fall asleep. When you were younger you spent all your time on the phone, but now it’s Facebook. You don’t want to admit to yourself that you’re aging but it comes out some nights when you’re too drunk, hanging on the arm of some man who doesn’t want you but you don’t stop, clawing at him until you finally break down in a pathetic pool of tears because that always got you what you wanted as a child. Yes, you are headed down the wrong track in life. Yes, you are pathetic.
Frankly, I don’t care for Colbert. He’s a fraud. He doesn’t even pretend to be a conservative, just a silly man. These day’s he’s just phoning it in and you cretins think he’s some sort of hero. Wake up. Do you even understand the anger behind the Tea Party movement? Why we march and protest? Do you think it’s so wrong to want to make this country a better place, to demand fiscal responsibility in Washington and some decent family values in our government?
Your comment was frankly annoying and we all would be best served if you got up off your butt and focused on your own life.
I have written about Colbert, if you care to educate yourself:
http://christwire.org/2009/08/do-you-really-think-you’re-that-funny-stephen-colbert/
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6:01 pm
Hello Theresa, thank you for your input but I do have a few words for you. The great thing about the internet is that you get to hear from all sorts of people, and even those who are simply not that impressive or relevant, can leave an impression. You love Stephen Colbert? Let me guess, you’re a pre-packed liberal who goes to parties on weekends where you love to express how incredulous you are about Sarah Palin, just like everyone else around you. You find comedy in the comfortable 30 minute sitcoms on NBC– 30 Rock, Parks & Recreation– and then sometimes have a single glass of red wine to fall asleep. When you were younger you spent all your time on the phone, but now it’s Facebook. You don’t want to admit to yourself that you’re aging but it comes out some nights when you’re too drunk, hanging on the arm of some man who doesn’t want you but you don’t stop, clawing at him until you finally break down in a pathetic pool of tears because that always got you what you wanted as a child. Yes, you are headed down the wrong track in life. Yes, you are pathetic.
Frankly, I don’t care for Colbert. He’s a fraud. He doesn’t even pretend to be a conservative, just a silly man. These day’s he’s just phoning it in and you cretins think he’s some sort of hero. Wake up. Do you even understand the anger behind the Tea Party movement? Why we march and protest? Do you think it’s so wrong to want to make this country a better place, to demand fiscal responsibility in Washington and some decent family values in our government?
Your comment was frankly annoying and we all would be best served if you got up off your butt and focused on your own life.
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6:04 pm
Oh and I see by your site you’re a writer… Laughing out Loud!!!
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6:20 pm
Dude, it’s obnoxious enough when people type “LOL”, but you realize that you just sound like a moron when you type out “Laughing Out Loud”, right? Especially when you put quotation marks around it. If something’s really that funny, you can save yourself some embarrassment by just saying, “Dude, I’m laughing my fucking ass off right now.”
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6:37 pm
Stevie can barely read, you expect him to write, or even know how to use ‘lol’?
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6:36 pm
“Let me guess, you’re a pre-packed liberal who goes to parties on weekends where you love to express how incredulous you are about Sarah Palin, just like everyone else around you. You find comedy in the comfortable 30 minute sitcoms on NBC– 30 Rock, Parks & Recreation– and then sometimes have a single glass of red wine to fall asleep. When you were younger you spent all your time on the phone, but now it’s Facebook. You don’t want to admit to yourself that you’re aging but it comes out some nights when you’re too drunk, hanging on the arm of some man who doesn’t want you but you don’t stop, clawing at him until you finally break down in a pathetic pool of tears because that always got you what you wanted as a child. Yes, you are headed down the wrong track in life. Yes, you are pathetic.”
Let me guess, Billings, you are a pre-packed conservative who goes to prayer groups on weekends where you love to express how incredulous you are about Stephen Colbert, just like everyone else around you. You find comedy in the comfortable 30 minute sitcoms on FoxNews – Hannity, The O’Reilly Factor – and then sometimes have a carton of chocolate ice cream to fall asleep. When you were younger you spent all your time lurking around the playground, but now it’s Facebook. You don’t want to admit to yourself that you’re aging, but it comes out some nights when you’re too stoned off all the bible-page joints you’ve been smoking with underage children, gripping the small arm of a little boy who doesn’t want you but you don’t stop, clawing at him until you finally break down in a pathetic pool of tears because nobody loves you and your mother is an indifferent alcoholic who only gets visits from the local crack addicts. Yes, you are headed down the wrong track in life. Yes, you are pathetic.
“Frankly, I don’t care for Colbert. He’s a fraud.”
Well then, you two have that in common.
“Do you even understand the anger behind the Tea Party movement? Why we march and protest?”
I understand that the “Tea Party Movement” is an insult to a critical part of America’s history that took place here in Boston.
“Your comment was frankly annoying and we all would be best served if you got up off your butt and focused on your own life.”
Perhaps you should follow your own advice and stop sticking your fat nose into the lives of homosexuals, eh?
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9:15 pm
Claire, I’m not going to tell you if you got any part of that paragraph right or wrong. It would only embolden you on your campaign of liberal lunacy. And I love my mother very much, despite everything. You might even like her yourself if you meet her some day. She’s a bit of a pistol and doesn’t take kindly to poseurs, however.
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9:21 pm
Did your mom beat you so hard you forgot the shit she did? Well, that would actually explain why you’re so retarded, you’re having memory lapses and brain damage since your mother bashed your skull in.
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7:03 pm
Wow. That was completly uncalled for!
Wowza, I cannot believe the crap you just spouted; definetly came across as bitter there Billings.
Pathetic AND bitter.
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8:37 pm
“Your comment was frankly annoying and we all would be best served if *you got up off your butt and focused on your own life*.”
Coming from you, that’s HYSTERICAL.
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5:43 pm
Too funny. I haven’t laughed like that in a long time!
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5:45 pm
Wow. This article (if you can even call it that) is laden with dramatic and painfully incorrect stereotypes, not to mention the obvious sexism towards women (God forbid a women not marry! What is this world coming to!?).
This is a disgrace and was disgusting to read. Though your obsession with the fictitious allure of the homosexual lifestyle raises some interesting question about YOUR subconscious attractions.
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5:53 pm
“I thought you were talking about the guy next to Liz Taylor in the first pic.”
Liz Taylor? Uh…don’t you mean Liza Minelli?
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6:47 pm
I cut myself off, because I finally realized you are kidding and staying in character for the responses… Pretty genius actually. It reveals the inconsistent absurdities of antiquated standards of morality. Oh, and the use of “incestuous” is correct. In this sense it refers to the interactions (sexual or not) within a small group. Bravo. You actually ruffled the feathers in my fluorescent pink boa.
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7:50 pm
Mr. Billings
I read your article thoroughly and, frankly, I am dumb founded. I didn’t get through all the comments, I found the constant outrage and your inadequate answers simultaneously irritating and mind numbing, so bear with me.
Many people asked for you to present evidence to support your claims and one of your replies to this request was “this is not meant to be a science article, rather more advice for parents.” and, correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe this summarizes your opinion on this question throughout your comments.
For any serious journalism I have read the researcher always finds valid sources to back up their claims prior to publishing. Yet you have not done this, so I ask: Billings, why do you think, that you should be giving advice to parents on topics you have no evidence to support your opinions on? Especially concerning a topic as important as parenting, you should at least define for your readers what is supportable fact and what is your opinion. You’re article is ludicrously presented like fact when, in fact, you have no supporting facts at all.
Now, I would like to give you two examples of the gay men present in my life as an illustration of how the stereotypes you utilize, while they may apply to a small percentage of the gay population, are not what all gay men are.
My Aunt has wanted a baby for a long time now. It turns out her husband is infertile and her best friend from high school, a gay man, volunteered to be a sperm donor for my Aunt and her husband. This gay man is a member of an airline company, (he is stable financially and leads a non crazy life style), wants to HELP my Aunt procreate, and in no way prevented her from getting married or wanting children. (My Aunt is now a married(obviously) woman and a successful teacher. She has been in no way harmed through her friend with stated gay man.)
My second example: I have a very good friend who is a gay man. He’s just graduated from high school and is a responsible house sitter(he’s been hired by different people through out the summer: obviously they don’t fear him throwing crazy sex parties while they’re away), was one of the top debaters on the debate team(a very intellectual and masculine group to be a part of), one of the ONLY people on that team that chose to NOT partake in the consumption of drugs or alcohol that took place on almost all their debate trips, and is going to a technical college in Texas because he has been involved with science and mechanics for years. I actually read this article because he posted it on my best friends Facebook wall as a joke. (He was my best friend’s debate partner.) He’s one of the kindest people I’ve ever met and is a support for everyone in his life. Can you see any harm in him?
As someone who wants to pursue a career in editing and hopes to one day be a published author, it pains me to see, not only poorly constructed literary works online, but also ones that are so blatantly biased and baseless in fact. (I have also read some of your other articles over the past few days)
I would love to think that some of the more rational arguments in the previous comments would have an affect on your mindset but, after reading some of your responses to comments and how they don’t address many of the points in said comments, I doubt that you’re really seeing the possibility that your opinions could be wrong.
If you read this far in my comment I courteously request that you respond to ALL my points, not just the comfortable and easily answered ones.
Sarah Rose
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9:05 pm
Hi Sarah, if you’re interested in being a writer you could always apply for an internship with me, though I would hope your ideals align with my Christians ones (its non-paying, though I’d like help maintaining a Facebook account and maybe a Facebook fansite, also my email correspondence, etc. Send me an email, my address is above).
Well, back to your point. Certainly there are exceptions to what I describe because there are so many men living the gay lifestyle today. The one boy you mentioned is young, so you never know what he may grow up to become. Otherwise, yes I have witnessed many gay men engaging in the worst sorts of things. For more on the particulars of the gay lifestyle, I suggest reading the Family Research Council’s important phamphlet “Top Ten Myths About Homosexuality” which you can download free of charge here: http://www.frc.org/brochure/the-top-ten-myths-of-homosexuality
As for my methods and the veracity of my work, I take great effort to insure the truth I speak is in line with Biblical teaching. I am glad when it touches people. I know some of the truths in here hurt, but there will aid you more than you know in the long run. Do not buy into the homosexual propaganda all over the internet. The “myth of the happy homosexual” is certainly a myth.
God bless and stay strong!
Stephenson Billings, Investigative Journalist
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9:13 pm
//Otherwise, yes I have witnessed many gay men engaging in the worst sorts of things. //
How? What’s that? You haven’t and you’re just pulling shit from your ass again? What else is new.
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9:22 pm
“I’d like help maintaining a Facebook account and maybe a Facebook fansite, also my email correspondence, etc”
Yes, because maintaining a Facebook page is just soooooooo hard…
“The “myth of the happy homosexual” is certainly a myth.”
I’ve never met an unhappy homosexual, but I suppose if there are unhappy homosexuals it’s because FUCKWADS like you STRIVE to make them miserable. Ever think of that, you obese, ugly, unloved, greedy, arrogant, waste of space?
“Stephenson Billings, Investigative Journalist”
Still waiting for those credentials, Billings…
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7:15 am
well then let’s add “happy homosexual” to the same list of mythycal cretures as “sane christians”.
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8:53 pm
sorry but this is soo not true. being a gay man and knowing many gay people, the my fag hags (yes i have more than one) are nothing that this piece says. How about people go out in the real gay world and see what a fag hag really is to a gay man. many hags get married, many of them were not outcast, none of mine and no one else has ever left their hag out of anything especially when its a boy. a fag hag to gay men is something more than a best friend. go out and see for yourself and u will find this to actually not be true.
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9:19 pm
If you’re only 20 now, how do you know what sorts of cigarette smoking, vodka swilling banshees your cloven of lusty ladies will become down the road? And if they had pimples, they’d probably keep it a secret from you.
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9:27 pm
1, you don’t know if he is 20. That’s just in the name, and there are plenty of names you can call yourself and NONE of them describing yourself. Hell, what if that was just a screenname of his several years ago? 2, YOU have no idea what the kind of people this man hangs out with will be like or even how they are NOW. 3, You’re making nothing but baseless accusations, AGAIN. Here’s one I want you to try to disprove: all Christians are secretly gay for their family and want to fuck their dog because they worship Satan and a lollipop named Fred. Go on, try to disprove it, I have ‘facts’!
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11:41 am
The Comedian is my hero
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8:59 pm
Maybe these fag hags will get lucky and meet a self-hating, republican, evangelical, rabidly homophobic closet case and get married! That will lead to them to the good life. Or, maybe you can stop trying to control other people’s behavior and let them be who they are.
The world you people construct for yourself is so sad.
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9:02 pm
Stephen, I think maybe you should stick to the children’s party entertainer gig, or maybe the soda bottle collecting and leave the investigative journalism to…well…journalists. I won’t even begin to tear apart this hilarious excuse for an article except to say that maybe if you’d spent less time trying to lead up to advertising hyperlinks and more time actually getting to know a few gay men and/or their female friends you’d have written something that actually sounds like you know what you’re talking about.
I actually WOULD offer some advice to the parents of this young woman, assuming this was an actual email you received and not just an excuse to demonize gay people. I’d say it sounds like this young woman’s friends are young and immature. It doesn’t say how old she is or how old her friends are but it sounds to me pretty typical of the behavior of many early 20-somethings who move to big cities…gay or straight, Christian or not.
I’m sorry to hear that her parents were treated so rudely. These guys do sound like they have some growing up to do, but it has more to do with their treatment of others and of themselves than it does with their homosexuality. I’d suggest they DO talk with their daughter about their concerns about her friends, that maybe it’s an opportunity for her to show them what a Christian is by encouraging them to take a look at the way they’re treating themselves, each other, and other people around them.
Some gay people, and it sounds like this young woman’s friends are among them, fall into a pattern of promiscuity and self-centeredness because they feel abused by society, particularly at the hands of Christians. (Your article, Stephen, doesn’t help this situation.) I’ve known many “fag-hags” as you call them who live very happy lives and many of whom ultimately DO get married and have children…and are blessed with the friendship of some really great gay friends. I’d suggest the parents encourage their daughter to focus on showing these guys what a true friend, and a true Christian is.
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9:19 pm
I do love spending time with kids and they love my act!
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9:37 pm
“I do love spending time with kids and they love my act!”
I recall you saying once on Facebook (before your account was deleted, HAH!) that you also like hanging around playgrounds and watching the children play, but that of late you had taken to watching them from further away so that the mothers don’t get nervous. I think that should speak for itself, do you not?
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9:21 pm
I didn’t always like hyperlinks, but so many are curious about my writing I thought I’d provide them a firsthand look at my source material (journalism 101 my friend!).
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9:26 pm
I’d say Stevie fails, but at this point it’s just be redundant.
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10:49 pm
“I didn’t always like hyperlinks, but so many are curious about my writing I thought I’d provide them a firsthand look at my source material (journalism 101 my friend!).”
Journalism 101? More like elementary school English class. Or better yet, Common Sense 101. Citing your sources is MANDATORY, not optional, which is something we’ve been telling the folks at christwire long before you came along.
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9:25 pm
“We don’t hate homosexuals”
Yeah, and Adolf Hitler is my father…
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9:32 pm
“Claire, I’m not going to tell you if you got any part of that paragraph right or wrong. It would only embolden you on your campaign of liberal lunacy.”
It wasn’t my intention to have you validate any of that paragraph. The only reason for it was to show that we can make assumptions about you just as you can about us.
“And I love my mother very much, despite everything. You might even like her yourself if you meet her some day. She’s a bit of a pistol and doesn’t take kindly to poseurs, however.”
Well, you must have disappointed her pretty much to make her turn to the bottle. Did she become depressed when you got too fat to play sports and had to turn to the pathetic profession of clowning? And you’re the one who’s a poseur, you dick.
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7:31 am
Hi Claire!
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7:33 am
oh yeah that’s a mature reply billings
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7:53 am
Isn’t that great? I keep thinking it will stop but it doesn’t. it’s called an “animated gif” and I’m not exactly sure about the science behind it, but I really do love it and maybe it will be my way of expressing exasperation at Claire’s lunacy. She’s just repeating herself these days and it’s getting old.
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7:58 am
sarcasm, billings learn about it you asshat.
i fucking know what a gif is btw, i’m pretty damn sure that anything on the internet you have any knowledge about i know more about.
but maybe we should just bring raptor/zombie jesus in against YOUR lunacy to level the playing field a bit?
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9:09 am
Claire, please don’t do that. There are people who are under 18 who look at this site and showing them pornography is just wrong. I’ll email Pastor Jack or you can if you want and one of the tech guys will remove your post. It’s really not right to do that and it’s very upsetting. Also, people visit this site at their workplaces and having something like that in their browser history could hypothetically get them sanctioned or fired. I realize you like to throw your strongest words my way and that’s okay. I support you in that, but this is beyond what is acceptable.
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12:41 pm
hey you started, again if you can’t take it don’t do it to others.
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2:24 pm
“Also, people visit this site at their workplaces and having something like that in their browser history could hypothetically get them sanctioned or fired.”
You’re actually spot-on with this particular statement. Having Christwire in one’s browsing history would, in a perfect world, be grounds for immediate firing.
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10:04 pm
So um this article just gave me a great laugh and just proved this website is fake and not committed to real reporting. Way to go are you guys a branch of the National Enquirer? Thank you for giving me something to laugh at today. Where do you bigots come up with this information i would really enjoy reading the books that you guys read please tell me. Because i did read the bible and believe that you should love thy neighbor! Again thank for the laughs oh by the way the National Organization for Marriage may want the author to come speak at their hate rallies!
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11:01 pm
As a 48 year old gay man, I can easily tell that you have spent little, if any time in the company of Gay men, Lesbians or “fag hags”. You article is based on cliche stereotypes and asuumptions. If any two people can enjoy each others company and bring each other some joy in this world, whatever their sexuality or gender, then let them be. We are free to make our choices in this world. We pick our friends, straight or gay. There’s no guarentee that straight friends are any better than gay ones. Do you think straight friendships are free of grief? Do you think gay friendships are doomed? Get out in the real world and open yourself up to the broad spectrum that is life. Stop catagorizing people. People are people, for better or worse. With your article, you have fallen into the “worse” catagory.
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1:23 am
Interesting point, Mike, but I’m not talking about your selfish needs for emotional support as your have a parade of conceited sodomites stomp through your life– I am focused here on helping PARENTS help make the right choices for their female children. Have you ever truly considered how you have kept the women close to you from happiness and marriage, children and that great home in suburbs? No? I guess having gay hookups and vodka martinis are far more important to you than American Patriotism. Our society is dying because heterosexual Christian middle class women aren’t marrying due to the gay influence.
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7:09 am
listen your sick idea that children needs to live their life in honor of you and their parents ideals is just plain wrong. it’s their life to do with what they want.
it is not the parents choice to decide how their kids should use their life. and if these girls are happy with not haveing that stupid house in the suburbs who the fuck are you to demand that they get that crappy life anyway?
rather than forcing your kids to pursue your dreams you should fucking do it yourself.
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8:51 pm
Maybe they’re not marrying because their only options are you.
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2:11 am
All I saw in your articles is a bunch of hate and slander to those of the gay community. We are not supposed to be the ones to judge others unless we ourselves want to be judged. I understand that homosexuality is a sin, but so are a very long list of other things. You talk about the effects of a girls “Misguided Friendship Choices” and say they lead to loneliness. There are so many things wrong with that notion. Second to loving God with all our heart, soul, and mind, Christians are called to love our neighbors, but apparently my neighbors are not gay. I was very much unaware of that. Can you please give me this list of excluded groups that God doesn’t want me to love because I am fairly certain my Bible is missing those pages. Perhaps, the girl’s friendship choices are far more guided than any of the ones you are projecting to your audience because in the end she may have friends and even converts where as the only result I can see from your articles is a bunch of self-righteous people who forgot the love and grace of God and instead focus on the errors of everyone around them. How are you ever going to share the gospel with homosexual people if you treat homosexuality like some sort of rare contagious disease that will somehow result in the complete and utter corruption of any heterosexual person placed in their presence. Your whole argument is a slippery slope fallacy. The followers of this website need to stop boycotting everything wrong in the world and spend more time trying to show the world Christ’s love which is really one of the only things that can change it.
Sincerely,
Kelsey
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2:54 am
Mr. Billings,
Obviously your offensiveness knows absolutely no bounds. The Church does not consider homosexuality a sin at all, and in fact many of the priests in the Catholic faith (the stem of all other Christian faiths FYI) are gay. Do THEY engage in all of those behaviors and acts you refer to in your article? I think not.
The fact that you crammed so many gay stereotypes into one article is truly baffling. That you really believe that all gay men engage in those things you said in this article is positively scary, and being a catholic gay man, hurtful. Not all gay men are effeminate, and in fact many STRAIGHT men are effeminate. I am not a shameless whore who lusts over every man whether they are straight or gay. I am currently in a monogamous relationship that has lasted for 2 years and counting.
Also, the word “incestuous” has but one meaning; “the crime of sexual intercourse, cohabitation, or marriage between persons within the degrees of consanguinity or affinity wherein marriage is legally forbidden.” Finally, although I completely disagree with everything in this article and was frankly extremely disgusted by it, I will say it was very eloquently written. You may be a closed-mined homophobe, but you have some writing skills.
-Phill
P.S. There are so many other things wrong with this article that it would’ve have taken me too long to address all of them.
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3:51 am
As a gay man, I think this is a bit much… “They demand these men take pleasure in shopping and watching shows like Glee. Instead of football games and grandpa’s cookouts”.
I love football, I have season tickets to NFL and College teams, I play fantasy football, and so does my partner of 10 years. My “fag hags” from high school are all married or have long term boyfriends. The guys come over for football games with my “fag hag” friends while we cookout for them. Sometimes, even these poor fag hags and their husbands even bring their kids. Oh, and I have plenty of straight male friends that come over too.
Your ideas are outdated. Your column screams 1990 crazy Christian. Thank God not all Christians are as misguided as you are.
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3:55 am
The adoration of vampires might be just a consequence of having to eat the flesh and drink the blood of christ every sunday in church…
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7:02 am
Stephenson you’re an older, single guy putting on “camps” for young girls. Smells fishy to me mister.
You sound like a bigot in your article, completely misunderstanding gay and youth culture.
I happen to have a great experience writing and exploring the societal dangers of Christian bigots like yourself, as do so many of my gay peers. You’re all talking out of your ass. Simples!
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9:50 am
I saw this as a link on a friend’s facebook page, so I just started reading, unaware it was a Christian site. The title alone had comedic value. So I laughed hysterically while I read what I thought to be a gay man MOCKING a homophobic perspective. The only clue I had that anything was off was that it seemed a little *too* off-base and outrageous. While still funny, really comedy must also reflect reality… which this is proof that this article does NOT. The author’s opinions on fag hags and gay culture are absurd even for a conservative christian.
Also I love that someone posted an animated gif of gay sex
*Dying of laughter*
And no one thinks zombies are sexy. Entertaining, relevant, but not sexy… And vampires have always been sexy. Come on. They bite your neck!
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10:04 am
STILL LAUGHING… Also why would hanging out with people who love fashion make one dress mannishly? I think fag hags are usually really fashionable, fabulous girls… and they like that gay guys appreciate that! And, speaking as a fag hag, I managed to “find a man” while hanging out with gay guys… he’s a great guy who is educated, intelligent, and DEFINITELY not homophobic. I’d rather be single that with some ignorant hate-monger who’s most definitely a sexist too…
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10:19 am
At first I was appalled by this article, but soon realised it must, MUST be a satirical look at things. Everybody needs to accept this before they post comments, it’s riciculous on purpose to make a point. His bio describes himself as a “motivational children’s party entertainer,” he’s obviously trying to point out how utterly ridiculous such thoughts are by going so far to the extreme, and everybody needs to calm down and take it for the joke it is.
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11:00 am
Nature will always win, ie God always wins. Which means that the Christianity will always lose. It tries to tell God what God thinks via the Bible and whatever Elmer Gantry Science dumb preacher comes up with in his head. When humans are long extinct because they cared about Gay Marriage, Abortion, School Prayer, Terrorism, Intelligent Design, Etc, instead of trying to build a society that can sustain itself, God will not have given even a thought to us being here. The Hubris in Christianity will kill us all. So lighten up and let women hang out with the Gays. It’s really not that bog of a deal.
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11:42 am
“They hunger for the lean gym bodies that so many gay men spend hours pumping into glistening perfection.”
Dude. Seriously. Come on out, we all understand.
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12:41 pm
omg this is the most hilarious essay I’ve read in a long, long time. I can’t imagine an actor or narrator alive who could do it justice on stage because it is so brilliantly funny on the page. I especially love how it gets lost in its own erotic steaminess now and then (the run-on sentence portions are when my screen began to fog up), but still manages to pull itself back and maintain its unselfconscious seriousness and sense of purpose. Genius satire!! I’ve forwarded it to everyone I know.
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12:58 pm
I heard the Onion is hiring. I sent this to them and they would love to run this piece. There is not one factual thing included in this “article”.
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1:52 pm
Mr. Billings seems REALLY concerned about gays. All of his references to perky biceps and sexy gay men makes me wonder how he gained such experience in the subject! He must hang out with a loootttt of gay dudes.
That being said, I played sports in high school, didn’t really have pimples, and made a bunch of gay friends in college with whom I am still friends. I am now about to start law school and living with my boyfriend of 3 years (who loves football and makes bank, Mr Billings) who I will probably marry. And I will invite my gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender friends to the wedding. Even the gay who works as a mechanic and watches more sports than me. And the lesbian who loves wearing lipstick and dresses. Oh, and the gay guy in grad school who loves Nascar. Praise Jesus! Jesus loved everyone.
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1:55 pm
I talked to Jesus about this because I was really upset. He reminded me not to judge others because I am only human, and who am I to say how they should leave their lives? He also said that those who hurt others with their hateful words will see the error of their ways when their true judgment day comes. So let’s pray for Mr.Billings and hope that one day the devil will leave him and let him see that all of God’s people are good and true no matter how they choose to live their life.
From,
I love you all.
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2:45 pm
I feel that this “article” is misguided and under-investigated. It doesn’t have any solid references to backup what the “journalist” has claimed and yet through a story of creative invention has come to a conclusion that represents neither a realistic majority, nor a sound response to the mother’s letter. First of all, the entire opening subject of “pimples and popularity” is based on the idea that the women who represent “fag hags” are unattractive socially retarded people. (Which begs the question, if this was the case to begin with and it followed through to adulthood, what makes the author beleive that they would not maintain their social ineptitude?) Pictured in the first two photos, the young women with their homosexual companions are both attractive, stylish, and wearing make-up (including the lipstick that the author claims isn’t typically worn by “fag hags”). Now, I realize that the author has attempted to generalize accross this subgroup, however he fails to represent those that never go through such a sad youth, those that are the beautiful and popular who befriend the male homosexual who is beautiful, clever, and up to date on all trends and drama. It has been my experience that most women who cling to gay men wish to be surounded by beautiful people who relate to them without becoming threats to the straight men who may court them. This article also focuses on the young, select, gay population that are clubbers. It is not the being gay that creates a threat, but the club scene with drugs, alcohol, late nights, and premiscuous sex. But any club scene, gay or straight, reflects those sinful subjects. A hetero- woman who hangs with homo- men is less at risk of being sexually hurt then with a group of straight ones. Yes, sometimes these women hold out for a drunken night when that man “gender-bends” and sleeps with her, and Yes, it actually does happen more then many people think, but there is rarely the delusion that more may come of a one night stand between these kinds of friends. This is only the tip of the iceburg, but fact of the matter is that this aurthor really needs to try writing based on observable fact more and less on a creative story to pass as a journalist. I don’t dispute that some of what he has said is true, but to pass it as solid fact, soley explaining this subculture of women, is defamation and libel.
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3:43 pm
This gives me hope for humanity. Oh, not the article but people’s response to it. It’s all mostly been said already but I’d like to highlight another place where this is hurtful to young women such as myself.
“If your child suffers from pimples, please get involved and monitor your girl’s facial care. It’s a simple thing to do and can really make a difference for her self-esteem and for her ability to meet your expectations.”
Meet *your* expectations. Do you even remember being a teenager? Or maybe it’s different now. In any case, putting too many expectations on them has driven three of my friends to depression – and I know of others at my school who are the same. Teenagers are people, people who need respect just as much as anyone else. We aren’t clay to be molded into a replica of our parents. Also, becoming some sort of skin watchdog can only lead to resentment.
“I should note, however, that pimples are also symptomatic of marijuana use so if your child is unwilling to talk to you about her pimples, you may have a far more serious issue on your hands.”
They’re also symptomatic of Being A Teenager. Actually, I went and looked this up and I saw a list of symptoms but acne wasn’t there. Perhaps that’s because acne is cased by the inability of skin to slough off, stress (perhaps from unreasonable monitoring of skin), and hereditary factors.
For the record, I have a lot of gay friends and I dress more girly than most of the girls at school who wear nothing but sweatpants, headbands, and their boyfriends’ shapeless, manly, sweat-stained, sweatshirts.
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11:39 pm
This is great satire. Thank you, sir!
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11:54 pm
I just find it difficult to swallow that a website that is professing to be about Jesus Christ would publish an article like this.
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12:40 am
It is attitudes and viewpoints like this essay that are the reason that I once was a christian and I am now no longer a christian.
Would Jesus call me a “fag’? Would Jesus tell me I lacked conscience? These words are so hateful. It’s really incredible the contempt and attempted de-humanization in this piece. It’s almost an achievement.
Many of the people I love are not heterosexual. Many of the heterosexuals that I love do not aspire to the version heterosexuality that you espouse. Although words are very similar to screeds that have been written to defame Jews, and that’s scary, I take solace in the fact that this writer MUST be in the minority in his thinking.
This is a truly despicable piece of writing that defames women and gay men to an extreme. You should hang your head in shame, sir.
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5:01 am
I am a practising Christian woman and I am happily married to a man. I also have several close gay friends, many of whom I have been friends with for close on 20 years. Some of my gay friends are practising Christians themselves. I have never smoked a cigarette, I have very healthy self-esteem and I do not regard my gay friends as ‘outcasts’. I serve a God who loves all His children and who does not make mistakes – my friends are gay because He made them so and who am I to judge God’s work? My faith teaches me to love my neighbour, to judge not lest I be judged and to do unto others as I would have others do unto me. I choose to follow the teachings of my faith, which include love and tolerance, rather than the hateful rants of a man so misguided he is pitiable in his ignorance and I call on all my Christian brothers and sisters who truly subscribe to the teachings of Christ to do the same. I must also point out that none of my gay friends has ever lived the immoral lifestyle described by this man. Many of them are in stable, monogamous relationships that have endured for several years. Some are married. I hold my gay friends dear for the same reason that I hold my straight friends dear – because they are good people whose company I enjoy, be it over coffee or board games at home. Finally, to the original concerned parent who wrote the letter – if your daughter’s housemates are the kind of people who do not show respect to someone’s visiting parent, I think you should worry that they may be a bad influence, not because they are gay, but because they may not be good people. None of my gay friends would have allowed my mother to sleep on the couch – they would have given up their own room for her and they certainly would not have been rude or drunk around her because that is the calibre of company, straight or gay, that I choose to keep.
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5:48 am
I have to say, I am not a homophobe. I was brought up in a theatrical family where gay men were openly themselves in a world which was against them. I cannot on any level fault the people I came to know and who took care of me. Great people.
They were also incredibly promiscuous, drank copious amount of alcohol, chain smoked, were outrageous in terms of mannerisms and language and yes they did attract the very kind of women you have spoken about, the fag hag types who lived their lives nearly always single hanging out with their gay male counterparts.
I still know these women, nearly all of whom are the outrageous spinster types you write about. Great fun though! The thing is, everyone has a choice and perhaps they wanted to live their lives out like this, have you thought that? People change as do priorities as you get older. As I say, I can’t knock any of these people on any level because they’ve always been polite, courteous and respectful to me and we always chat when we see one another.
Mom’s closest gay pal had to wear diapers from his early 40′s and also had a drink problem but that’s more than likely due to inadequate lubrication available back then and pressures from a wider society in terms of heading towards the bottle, maybe you and I would become alcohol dependent if we were swimming against the tide as a lot of gay people are. Interesting article.
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9:40 am
I call bullshit on this entire site, the author and everything that has ever been written here.
But in the off chance that people are actually THIS stupid and THIS ignorant I’ll point out a few things:
MALE PRIESTS HAVE, AND CONTINUE TO, MOLEST LITTLE BOYS.
Thus making them homosexual.
Homosexual pedophiles.
So, since these men of the cloth are those whom you follow and trust then sir, you are indeed a fag hag yourself.
Good day.
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11:09 am
What on earth causes a young boy to turn into a Motivational Children’s Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector as he grows up, and what sane heterosexual woman could ever be attracted to such a “man”? Sounds like your typical dorky pedophile to me! And since stereotypes now count as fact and research…
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3:02 pm
Where did you get your Phd in psychology again, Billings?
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3:04 pm
Where did you get your Phd again, Billings?
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2 
1
10:56 pm
At the university of Bat Shit Insane.
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9:37 pm
I love my HOMOs, I love DICK, and if a cigarette symbolizes copulation then so be it. It just sounds like one GREAT PARTAY IN MY MOUTH!!! Nike says it best….JUST DO IT!!! I am a straight female, and have a LOT of straight friends. Trust me, I have NO PROBLEMS finding myself a straight man that will fuck me silly!!! I love being a faghag, and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with having homosexuals as friends. To be frank, I think you’re just jealous of the lack of sex you receive in your life. They always say, misery loves company, and you definitely are JEALLLLLLOUS!!!!
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10:49 pm
Do not hearken to the darkness. We are all God’s children. Do not betide the word of the wasp. See the light. Until you do, and as long as you spew this poisonous diatribe, I will upon you dark dreams. Suffer until you come to being.
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12:35 pm
It is just so cute that you people exist!! Thanks for the laughs.
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3:53 pm
What a great satire. Wonderfully written parody!
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5:56 pm
uh…. you guys realize he’s being sarcastic right?
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9:19 pm
All you have shown me is that you have NO idea what you are talking about. This article is so bad it’s comical. I can’t believe people as idiotic as you actually exist.
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12:51 am
At first, I was going to be offended by the deeply, deeply, misogynistic nature of your posting. The poper quantity of lipstick worn (as defined by a man), to dress as one wishes, refusing to shut up while men are talking, and the conscious choice not to parent do not diminish the basic humanity of any girl or woman.
The confinig mythical construction of womanhood you describe is. It is the attitude that allows woman to make 70 cents on the dollar for every one a man makes, and why domestic violence and sexual assault are still such a pernicious threat to women’s saftey. By reducing women to subservient objects suffering a “rash of automony,” it is possible to justify nearly any treatment of another human being.
I did become slightly less offended as your blog post went on. I became more disturbed by it’s male-centric pornographic nature. Let me reference.
“How can our masculinity survive in an era when it’s so abused, rushed into alleyways for repeated and foul violations that push into the darkest crevasses of humanity’s evil? As a society, we’re not just looking into the mirror, we’ve been pushed up against it, our faces sweating, our bodies naked, our hearts beating too fast, can we even make out our reflections as we’re crushed there, violated from the world behind us, painfully, incessantly, raped and violated in the most nasty of ways, that scruff of the devil’s chest hair chafing our backs, the heavy hot breath of society’s doom in our ear, as we plead for an escape, for freedom, for forgiveness from Jesus Christ for the sins we have permitted in our society,…” “Scruff of the devil’s chest hair” That is some fabulous creative fetish erotica writing. Congratulations. I suspect the only research you have done for this article is mistaking your rejection during cruising expeditions as a condemnation of gay culture and not of your aborhant personal beliefs. The longer these sorts of debates go on the more sympathy I have for people who truly have Christian faith in accordance with the teachings of Christ. To be villified for, and to have to defend themselves against, this kind of hate mongering is grossly unfair. I believe you need to take a good hard look at the words of Christ and not those of ultra-conservative wing nuts who seek to speak for Jesus.
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2:24 am
Real men love Jesus.
I should know, he is this hot gay mechanic at Jiffy Lube. I slept with him to gain access to the most trendy signature oil change in the DC area.
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11:38 am
PEOPLE DO NOT FEED THE TROLL HERE! MR. BILLINGS IS A TROLL AND MASTURBATES TO INTERNET PORN AND IS FULL OF SELF LOATHING. HE NEEDS TO SIT IN HIS MISERY AND TYPE HATEFUL SHIT, BECAUSE IN THE END… MR. BILLINGS YOU HATE WHO YOU ARE. HAVE A NICE LIFE AND GO SEE A SHRINK AND TAKE SOME MEDS FOR THAT DELUSIONAL PERSONALITY YOU HAVE.
XOXO SHARON
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1:40 pm
Just goes to show you the typical level of hostility and nonsense in your average neurotic liberal.
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1:47 pm
You’ve yet to show any intelligence at all, are we to assume all Christians are as rock-stupid as you are?
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4:09 pm
Please don’t lump me in with him…I actually try to use my brain and be open and courteous to everyone.
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4:34 pm
Blame Stevie for the generalization. He feels like he can generalize about people he knows hardly anything about without doing research, why shouldn’t I be entitled to do the same thing with his people?
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6:07 pm
No Christian in their right mind would be certain of Mr. Billing’s faith.
He writes articles about whatever suits his fancy and then at the end makes sure to tag along a “Christian” message right next to the word “America”.
And then claims he’s a man of the Bible and of God.
I can say I’m Wonder Woman all I want, but it won’t be true and one would have to be a fool to not question my claim.
This is really quite depressing; in school a good deal of the teachers are telling us that my generation has to be innovative and brilliant to turn the world around and make things better, and yet people like him managed to get out into the world, attain web access, and write a blog.
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6:21 pm
^It’s more like trying to teach Stevie a lesson, that unfounded hate is incredibly stupid, and making a statement based off of the knowledge of only ONE person and trying to apply their thinking or way of life onto everyone is nothing short of incredibly offensive. If he wants me to stop hating on Christians and calling them butt-fucked insane, HE needs to stop generalizing every single freakin’ group imaginable, and anyone who has a problem ME should take it up with Stevie since I’m playing his own game with his own rules.
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12:09 pm
So after reading your article and MANY of the comments on this page I have determined a few things:
1: You are clinically insane.
2: You are obviously a creepy motherfucker.
3: You are so hate-filled that you have to spread it around so that you’re not so lonely and pathetic.
4: Well, you’re still pathetic.
5: Not only do you hate perfectly normal gays who are contributing members of society, you also hate women.
6: I feel, honestly, sorry that the deprived little gay boy living inside you will never get to come out.
That being said: In my life I have known MANY gay men (and some gay women). All of those men are well-educated, respectful, knowledgeable and loyal, loving, lifelong friends. They have treated me the way I want to be treated by any of the straight men I date (in the sense of respect and friendship – obviously not sex). Three of these men will be receiving their PhD within the next year. I don’t see anyone calling you a ‘doctor’ of anything, Mr. Billings.
I am also a woman. And more than any of your hatred toward the gay community I am appalled and sickened by your claims that a stable female child must be a popular, pretty athlete to be worth anything. Young women should be encouraged to educate themselves, be socially and politically aware, and fight for their dreams and goals INDEPENDENTLY or EQUALLY to their spouse/boyfriend/significant other. I will tell you something I believe to be true from my vast experience as a teenage girl (one credential you can never claim): the most demeaning and humiliating instances in my life have always involved a pretty, popular religious person. More hatred has come my way from attractive “christian” girls than any other source. Their parents have cultivated in them the self-righteous feeling that they can say anything about and to anyone as long as they have the religious and social “authority” to judge others. Meanwhile, THEY are the ones who start drinking at a young age. THEY are the ones fucking a football player behind the bleachers. THEY are the mean bitches that make high school a virtual HELL for the rest of us. STOP encouraging parents to make their children into these social MONSTERS. This is not to say I don’t know some young christians who are kind and caring individuals, but most of them are not bigots or homophobic hate-mongers either.
Please, please, keep your poisonous ideas away from concerned parents. The world will be so much better if you do.
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1:44 pm
Listen my friend, you couldn’t have gotten me more wrong. I truly believe in educating people about the love of Jesus Christ and I think it’s important to impart Biblical teaching on youngster. In regards to that, you name yourself “Proud” but do you understand that Pride is a Sin?
Well, I hope that we were able to share a bit of ourselves today and that there are things you can learn from the experience. I pray for your health,
Stephenson
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4:11 pm
Mr. Billings, did you know that evil or hurtful feelings towards anyone is a sin?
Hate is a sin.
Stop sinning in such a publicly disgraceful way.
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4:38 pm
You’re one to talk about sin. You believe people should be hated simply for being themselves. It doesn’t matter if they’re gay or not, you have ONE idea for what a man and a woman should be and how to live their lives and ANY life style incorporated outside of your ONE vision is complete and total blasphemy to you. You believe that artistic people are a waste, that people who play video games are no good, that gay people are trying to raise an army, that non-Americans should have their basic human rights violated, that people who don’t play sports should be bullied, that women who want to do more than just be a mother are harlots and whores, that non-Christians are your enemies, that non-Conservatives are sinful people, and in general, if someone doesn’t fit your idea, then they should be burned.
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3:21 pm
You hit the nail on the head girl! In my high school, the sluttiest, most oversexed girls were ALWAYS the Catholics or Christian girls. You could swear by it as a rule! In fact, if a young man wanted to lose his virginity, the safest bet was to go to Church on Sundays and meet the young ladies there.
It’s laughable to me that so many Christians think that their lifestyle and “morals” do anything more than repress people to the point of rebelling in the most extreme ways possible.
If the description of Jesus in the Bible is anything to go on, he would flay people like Mr.Billings alive.
Judge not, lest ye be judged sir.
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9:08 pm
Seems like I’m being judged quite a bit around here, so what do I have to lose? I’d rather be an open Christian than a closeted hypocrite.
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9:21 pm
You’re not an open Christian. You’re a loud, obnoxious bigot who thinks that using words like God and America make your disgustingly wrong and outdated prejudices justifiable.
There is nothing about you or your thoughts that make them more important or right than those of anyone else who has commented for or against you; in fact your ridiculous obsolescence and blatant stereotyping causes you to be taken even less seriously than you might be.
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9:45 pm
Oh Billings, you’re already a hypocrite. Don’t kid yourself.
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11:30 pm
//Seems like I’m being judged quite a bit around here, so what do I have to lose? I’d rather be an open Christian than a closeted hypocrite.//
1. You’re already a hypocrite.
2. You’ve judged others countless times.
3. You disgust other Christians.
4. You don’t practice what you preach or follow your faith, you have no right pulling this to defend yourself.
All of our judging is nothing more than a taste of your own medicine that you’ve seemed fond of giving out to others for so long. All your hate and feelings are being reflected back at you. You remember the golden rule? Do to others as you would have them do to you? Yeah, that’s in full effect here douche bag. Hell, even the Bible that you seem so fond of randomly quoting mentions it with that exact wording in the New International Version, Luke 6:31.
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11:56 am
You’re not a closeted hypocrite, you’re a closeted homosexual
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12:20 pm
Bravo! A brilliant satirical portrayal of the basest of human insecurities, animalistic hatred, uneducated and misguided ignorance, all bathed in a glow of putrescence masking itself as journalism. A Tartuffian soliloquy worthy of a Broadway production. I recommend casting Rupert Everett as the misguided curmudgeon.
Oh how the audience will laugh. They’ll be in tears!
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10:57 pm
Wait, this isn’t a joke?!?! HA! Someone really did their research. I completely disagree with the intended message, but for satirical purposes, this is pure gold. Please, for the entertainment of the masses, keep wasting your time with this propaganda bullshit you cross waiving sheep. Just remember, “most of us are atheists about most of the gods that humanity has ever believed in, atheists just go one god further.” Believe in whatever you would like, practice whatever makes you happy, but try not to hate others for being different. Being actively hateful takes a great deal of time and energy, and if you really believe in a God, you’d have to think they would rather see your time spent helping others, spreading love, or, quite simply, spending your time on something other than being publicly ignorant. Cheers!
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10:22 pm
Wow! If it weren’t for the fact that I’ve actually met people as foolish as this, I’d call ‘Poe’ on the whole article.
Rather than rebut each of the silly sterotypes, foolish generalities, misogynist claptrap comment and so on, let me just address one factor. The alleged future of the Fag Hag.
My lovely darling wife was, by her own admission, a ‘Fag Hag’ for years. Not because of any deep psychological problem and immorality, but because she is a loving and accepting person and happened to have friends who were gay. She lived with gay men, loved (in a platonic way, obviously) gay men, why she even treated gay men as humans. Odd, I know. And yet she ended up married. In a heterosexual marriage, even. With a man. She’s not a bitter, warped, evil little troll who doesn’t understand how to be a ‘proper’ woman; though I thank the god who never was that she isn’t the kind of woman you would approve!
She, like her gay friends, is a fully capable and complete human being. No need for your narrow approval, because she’s far far too smart to be taken in by such idiocy.
Normally I get angry reading things like this, but all I can feel for you is pity. Sad pathetic little man.
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10:36 pm
You can’t be with your wife 24 hours a day though…
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10:54 pm
What does that have to do with anything? So what if he isn’t with his wife 24/7, what the hell are you implying?
Stop being bitter about everything in life, stop looking at the world in reverse, and stop thinking so highly of yourself. Maybe then you’ll find a woman and get laid and realize that life ain’t bad. Either that, or you’ll finally be able to open up, say you’re gay and get a boyfriend.
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8:13 pm
I bet you are actually gay and you wish you had a fag hag, just come out of the closet already.
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8:00 am
A soft answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.
—Proverbs 15:1
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6:30 pm
Great article, wrong site. You should use this as your application to Cracked.
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8:50 pm
Is this site run by the Onion? It is GENIUS! SNL should hire this dude. Best fiction writer I’ve encountered in quite some time. XOXO!
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6:55 am
This is ridiculous. Who the fuck wrote this? A piece of drabble, half of it completely unrelated to the topic and the rest full of sweeping statements. Girls only befriend gay guys because they have pimples (which is probably a result of their out of control marijuana abuse) and because they share a love of melodramas, thus resulting in said “fag hags” to spend the rest of the lives only seeking gay companions and be disappointed by (no, not disappointed, fag hags actually become “allergic” to) every straight man?? Or maybe that’s how it is in America.
“The homosexual often uses his high degree of promiscuity to gain access to overbooked restaurants (slept with a waiter), private parties (slept with the host’s boyfriend) and expensive clubs (slept with the drummer playing that night). It is an astonishingly incestuous world.” Lmao, I mean, oh my lord. Because OBVIOUSLY “the homosexual” has slept with everyone and everything. Although this does prove my point that gay guys have a very promiscuous stereotype label (-wobbly cobbles-)
“Parents, please, get involved early and keep your children on track. Sports and friends and dermatological care are so vital.” Like, fo srs, if you don’t make sure your daughter uses Clear & Simple Facial Scrub she might get a pimple and GOD FORBID, befriend a gay guy which will be the catalyst in causing her to be an alcoholic and be lonely for the rest of her life.
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5:06 pm
um…i’m sure eric nies who is straight, would love that his likeness (that i’m sure you do not have the photo rights to post) is in this article.
before you take a stab at satirizing popular culture, you might want to delve into it for a few minutes.
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12:54 pm
Why don’t you take a moment to read the comments above? This issue has already been addressed so don’t get all conceited with me. Thanks.
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11:08 pm
I like having pale cheeks and not wearing any lipstick, and with gay friends to boot! Oh me oh my, I’m heading down the wrong track. The track of knitting and hanging out with cats, while my friends and family apparently cry about how I didn’t get married to some ugly jerk off and raise more ugly little jerk offs. Can’t wait. See you in hell, asshole.
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2:49 am
Wow. I think the sentence that begins with “This is an incredibly complex issue…” is both dramatic considering the fact that we are talking about simple friendships, and also odd since the rest of the article goes on to over simplify a variety of topics in my opinion.
I am somewhat disturbed by the sweeping diatribes proclaimed. Jumping from one idea, such as a teen girl having pimples (which over 85% of all teens experience,) to sudden social suicide and loss of self esteem to the point of socializing with only so called “outcasts” is a little extreme. This is one example of the gap jumps from a to b to c that seem quite erratic and random.
Though, I am sure that it is not uncommon for insecure teens to gravitate towards those they can fit in with and clearly, insecurity can be a struggle for teens. Self esteem can be an issue for any teen, and especially those who are different or suffering from an embarrassing problem (acne being one of many possibilities,) this sequence of events laid out on the “path to loneliness” seems quite arbitrary. While I’m sure this may have been the case for *some* girls, this is by no means a recipe. This article seems to present as though one must be worried if they have a teen girl who has acne that she may instantly fall into the path of so-called outcasts and into a life of empty loneliness. This over simplification takes away from the credibility of this article for me.
I personally did not have any gay friends until I was out of high school, so I cannot relate to this supposed grooming of “fag hags” that occurs at a young age. One note I will make is that I agree that an alluring factor for hanging around gay men is the non-threatening aspect of it. I do not mean this in terms of self esteem, which this article appears to imply is a necessary caveat to having gay friends… Rather, because I find spending time in straight bars that I am hassled, harassed, or in the company of men who have one solitary goal for the evening which I do not share with them. Therefore, it is refreshing for me to be in an environment where I can enjoy time with my girl friends and gay guy friends without being approached or disrespected. I don’t expect anyone but a woman to understand that idea, but trust and believe it can be a welcomed change.
As far as things in common, you are correct…clothes, gossip and “melodramatic TV shows” can be a common ground. I am not sure why you call these “obsessions” rather than simply interests, could we then not call watching football or playing sports an obsession? Of course, to some people any of the above interests could potentially be an obsession, but simply having a common interest in a topic is not an obsession. Also, this “obsession” is also shared with other girl friends, gay men are not necessary accessories in terms of having someone to share a common interest with. It’s not as though “fag hags” have no girl friends, the term only implies that she has gay guy friends.
I’m really confused by the zombie/vampire fornication comment. Maybe I am missing something, but haven’t young girls and women alike always lusted after a gorgeous actor on screen? (and straight men of beautiful women, likewise.) Also, if someone is attracted to the same sex it would make sense that the most beautiful examples of that sex, who are usually actors or models, would be attractive to that person, correct? Again, not fully following your line of reasoning here, but maybe I am missing something.
The next piece about “under the influence” is actually quite confusing to me because it leads me to believe the author has spent zero time around any gay men or “fag hags” in order to make such erroneous comments. Of course when you a significant amount of time around ANY group you may pick up some of their ideas, habits, fashions. I am not denying that, but where do you get “dressing mannishly” from???? I’m sorry, but did we jump to lesbians? That would make more sense… To recall a well known “melodramatic TV show” which would fit the bill perfectly, let’s remember “Sex in the City” for a moment. When did Carrie/Sarah Jessica Parker ever dress mannishly? When was that promoted? Oh wait I take it back, the latest movie she did dress in drag for a wedding. However, on almost every episode she wore designer outfits from head to toe, usually quite avant-garde and involving a dress and extremely tall heels. How is that mannish? As a self proclaimed fag hag..I can promise you I am anything but mannish. I am so lost an confused by this comment because typically gay men are more effeminite (yes, a stereotype and not true of ALL gay men,) so I am confused as to where this mannish idea comes from. Your article goes on later to discuss the wearing of outrageous outfits…that would be more likely than dressing mannish or wearing goth-like or all black clothing and thick, masculine heels. I am so confused by this comment that I re-read this piece and still wondering if I could have possibly read this correctly. If I missed something I apologize.
If anything, my experience has been the opposite of what you have described which again leads me to question your credibility. Where is this coming from? In what way are you an authority on this subject? I can only speak from my personal experience of course, but what you are describing is so different from any of my experiences that I am completely dumbfounded. Black outfits? I’m sorry, are we goth now or gay? Not enough lipstick? That statement made me “lol.”
Gay men tend to complement femininity, and much more articulately than straight men, (which is another reason I can appreciate them, as I appreciate my girl friends.) Tomboy style girls are the ones who are less likely to wear lipstick, and they are also less likely to be fag hags but rather participating in the sports “obsession” and doing beer bongs with their ball scratching hetero companions…. (maybe you have an article on the danger of no-lipstick-wearing-tomboy-girls who are viewed only as friends by their male companions and risk never getting married?)
Also–I don’t smoke…since when is smoking a substitute for sexual activity…are we Freud now? Wow. The shrieking comment is so unbelievably absurd I can’t believe I am commenting on it. Clearly you have never been to a ten year old girl’s birthday party have you? No gays there and guess what…LOTS of shrieking!!
Now at this point I kept reading the article only because it seemed so outrageous that I just had to find out what would be said next (I also checked to see who was writing it and what, if any, the credentials of this person were….still curious on that btw). Then we come to this idea that our interest in heterosexual masculinity is permanently destroyed by associating with the dreaded gays. I can’t speak for others of course, but again, this idea is lost on me. Does hanging out with my platonic girl friends cause me to yearn for their female bodies? Umm no..so why would spending time with gay men cause me to suddenly crave only gay male attention? Again, who are you and where is this coming from? …Next I see a beautiful male model who I recognize as Eric Nies, who I am about 99% sure is straight? Oh boy…!
I will however give you credit where it is due. I agree that there are *some* aspects of homosexual males I do prefer. I do appreciate the fact that many of them take some semblance of care in their personal appearance. Although, I will say that I see that as a call to action for straight men, as opposed to my misguided affection for gay ones! Women do not have their eyes carved out. Looks are certainly not the most important thing, and I am not in any way suggesting that, however, women do appreciate beauty. Also, men in Europe have tended to be more conscious of their own looks and they are not all gay. This does not mean they need to have frosted, gelled hair…simply an ironed shirt and hitting up the gym a few times a week is good enough. And, why is it that girls need to wear lipstick (I enjoy wearing it, but until reading your article didn’t realize it was necessary or being threatened by my gay friends…) but yet straight men just drink beer and show up looking like slobs and that is cool? Again, plenty of straight men take care of themselves of course, but these sweeping comments are quite unsettling to me.
I also enjoy spending time with gay men as I enjoy my female friends. It’s fun for girls to discuss clothing like it’s fun for men to discuss football. Major stereotype there, I just happen to fit it perfectly so I’m going with it. My point is that I enjoy my gay male friends like I enjoy my straight girlfriends. We can discuss clothes, cute boys and have a laugh together…so what’s the harm in that?
Glamorous lifestyle? Some do, but not all. Also, mentioning stereotypes again…not all of them are limber and voracious as you suggest. In fact, many of them are not, it is just a greater percentage that are. Yes, fag hags are aware that the night is not over when they leave…most of them are okay with this! Would you prefer if these girls went home with heterosexual males and hooked up? I am celibate and amazingly don’t smoke (LOL!) and many of my girl friends who have no gay friends replace those relationships with a line up of straight male “friends” who they sleep with. So, I’m sorry but your arguments don’t hold much water with me on that front.
The following paragraph lost me completely…I’m an intelligent person but honestly I was growing weary at this point. As for the mention of fag hags desiring their gay friends…I will agree this is sometimes true. For me, that has not happened in any way other than jest. Essentially, even though many of them are very attractive “on paper” to me they are not attractive as a potential mate. Firstly, because many of them are outwardly effeminate and I know this shocks you, but that is a turn off for me. Secondly, I am interested in those who directly flirt with and are interested in me, in addition to other qualities, so the fact that they are gay makes that an impossibility. Thirdly, because they are “safe”…the precise reason you give for fag hags wanting to be around their gays for affection or a secret wish for their love is actually the opposite for me. I enjoy the fact that I can have fun with them without being propositioned or without the main goal being them to try to get me to sleep with them. That is what straight men do, not gay ones…and guess what, not all girls like that, gets old. Though, this fantasy to be with a gay man may be true for some girls, it is a gross exaggeration to say all women feel this way, I for one do not.
Ps- all straight men (thankfully) are not completely uncultured. Some do like other activities that do not involve a referee…just sayin’. And again, you assume that we want to do the exact same activities with our boyfriends/husbands as we do our gay friends. Is the same true for our female friends? Are we in danger if we shop with our girlfriends? This assertion is ridiculous. Outrageous outfits? Maybe for Halloween.
Finally, you assume all fag hags have no desire for children or to be married. That is simply incorrect. Also, do not assume all women want those things (fag hag or not.) You again, put everyone into a little box, over-simplifying everything to the point that it becomes fiction.
…we then dive into an emotional rant about grandmother wannabes? Really? While there are *a few* kernels or elements of truth in some of your statements, I am truly amazed by the line of reasoning and the over-the-top assertions. It seems as though you are speaking about something you know very little about, yet speak as though you are the authority on the subject. I was hoping to read an article that was either enlightening or funny, but instead I am wondering what I just read and waiting for the punchline. I am honestly not intending to be rude or condescending at all by the way. I am simply awestruck by this article as it seems to be devoid of virtually any merit…wondering if there is any?
I would not for example, write an article on what it’s like to be black in America, because I have no flipping clue. I can talk to African Americans, and I can do research yes, but I cannot truly empathize or speak on behalf of another. So, this begs the question, how can you? Are you a so called fag hag? Are you a gay male? Are you a Psychologist? What experience or accreditation do you have to implore you to write this article? Maybe you do have first hand experience, I could not readily any bio, so I am unsure. I am curious to know what qualifies you to write this article, or is it simply an opinion? Of course, everyone is allowed an opinion and allowed to express it, but it is alarming that you seem to express yours as fact. Again, I mean no disrespect, but I am trying to understand your point of view.
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10:19 am
Let’s get together in christian scum chatrooms and condemn others for our enjoyment.
I’ve been very productive today.
I must have had five cocks up my tight asshole.
five whole cocks! can you imagine?
don’t bother, I am never visiting this site again
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12:44 pm
This got posted on a humor website I read and it was just too funny for words. Thank you for brightening my day with your comedic, fanciful take on how the people who you don’t understand operate. It makes me feel so good about the world to know that people like you fill it for our amusement. Sincerely, an educated heterosexual.
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12:48 pm
We hate all fish except our mother and Judy Garland.
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1:39 pm
I disagree with some posts here. I’d say Mr Billings is not a homophobe at all. After looking at a few of his “investigative” articles and all the beef cake pictures, I’d say he deparately wants some cock which is not a bad thing. THe bad thiong is denying and resisting the urge. Sex rules, it’s the best thing in the world and I advise he go out and have a lot of it, it may help him lower his obvious frustration level. Suck a dick for Jesus dude!
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4:26 pm
I haven’t laughed so hard in ages. Come on, this article has to be a massive joke – no-one is THIS retarded, surely?
But just in case… my best friend in the world is gay. We’ve been best friends since we were twelve. He’s adorable, unendingly kind, and in a loving, committed relationship (yes, with a man – OH, THE HUMANITY!) He never drinks, smokes, or takes drugs. I love him. My husband loves him. My kids love him. My parents love him. So suck it, Billings.
You need to get laid, mate. Probably by a big, oiled up guy.
And now I have to go – I’ve got some ‘locusts’ I need to go and fantasize about an ‘incestual’ relationship with.
Enjoy your own lonely old age, you shit-slice.
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5:23 pm
I’m a 55-year-old married woman. My husband’s ex-wife, his sister’s daughter, and both of his children are gay, so I do have some first-hand experience with “these people.”
I’d just like to say that my family and friends all hear the same things about conservative Christian Republicans that you apparently have heard about gays: that they are inhuman, zombie-like mutants who bite kittens’ heads off and eat their own young. Is this accusation true? Am I getting an accurate picture of conservative Christian Republicans from my gay friends and family? Or is there more to the picture?
Have I made my point?
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9:36 pm
Sorry, but that’s just childish and insulting.
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7:19 pm
If this is not satire I am very very scared that something like this is serious. I would never want my daughter to read this as anything other than satire. If this is a serious article I am sorry for any Christian who actually feels this way. This kind of closed mindedness is what caused many wars in the name of religion over the years.
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9:45 pm
I really do not know where to begin here. This has got to be the most ignorant article I have read this week. I am 26 years old great skin, in a loving healthy straight relationship with a straight man. I also have gay male friends. I guess you can call me a “fag hag” to a certain degree. I was never an outcast I was a cheerleader I grew up in a home with church goers. I see nothing wrong with homosexual anything. Gay men have never gotten in the way of me having a straight love life. Oh and saying gay men and fag hags are full of “neediness and emotional instability” is absurd! Where do you people get this crap? Is it embedded into you at child birth? Are your brought up to hate and judge what you do not fully understand? I hardly consider that being a “good Christian” I pity anyone who agrees with this article. You are blind. God help you open your eyes.
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12:35 am
“I thought you were talking about the guy next to Liz Taylor in the first pic.”
Ugh, there was no link to let me reply to that specific comment you made, but WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!?! I’ve been able to hold my tongue so far because everyone else has already ripped your article to shreds, but for God’s sake, that is Liza Minnelli in the right half of your first picture!!!! Not Elizabeth Taylor! LIZA! WITH A Z! Get with it!!!
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7:30 am
You’re a raving loony, and probably on the down low yourself.
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12:14 pm
Wow, you are so FULL OF SHIT!
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12:44 pm
This is pretty awesome. Great read. I love your articles… for the comedic value of them.
But just for the record: this is completely untrue. Just last year I was man of honor at my “fag hag”, “flame dame” or “fruit fly”‘s wedding where she married an awesome Christian man that I introduced her. He was a colleague from work. You would even be more surprised that he met us out at a gay bar for their first meeting and was completely content with it. They hit it off, dated for almost 2 years, were engaged and now married. So basically your assumptions are somewhat incorrect.
Let me also just mention that she never had an acne problem (we’ve been friends since junior high) and she wears dresses and make-up all the time. On top of all this, of course she hates going to the business events. EVERYONE HATES BUSINESS EVENTS! That’s not a “fag hag” problem. That’s a problem that all of us face when we have to spend even more time with the people we work for. Luckily now that she is married to my co-worker we can endure the business events together.
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9:38 pm
It’s always a relief to hear a success story, but by no means can I take your comment to be indicative of the larger endemic situation here. We all have issues to confront in our lives as we mature and grow, move to new cities and take on new jobs. For this type of woman, the challenge is genuinely hard to surmount.
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12:54 pm
The author of this “piece” is so obviously gay (“we’re not just looking into the mirror, we’ve been pushed up against it, our faces sweating, our bodies naked, our hearts beating too fast, can we even make out our reflections as we’re crushed there, violated from the world behind us, painfully, incessantly, raped and violated in the most nasty of ways, that scruff of the devil’s chest hair chafing our backs, the heavy hot breath of society’s doom in our ear, as we plead for an escape, for freedom, for forgiveness from Jesus Christ”) that I would keep my sons a long, long, l-o-n-g ways away from him.
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9:39 pm
I am not homosexual and I find your comment offensive to me personally. But this is no surprise, you liberals are so quick to throw libel around no wonder you lack self control.
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9:50 pm
We’re on the same side of the politic fence, and I’m calling you out on being gay. What’s so special about liberals?
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10:22 am
It is totally inconceivable that someone as gay obsessed as you could be straight. Closeted homo is so much more likely. I hope that some day you can forgive yourself for the hateful bile that you are propagating. Hopefully that day comes before you incite a deadly anti-gay pogrom. What frightens me the most is the information from your facebook page about your work with teens. Single, closeted, gay hater, who gravitates toward young people… PARENTS BEWARE!!!
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12:59 pm
Just having this up — with that glorious half-nekkid waif — is pornography.
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1:21 pm
So, this article says that if I have gay male friends that I will start smoking and doing drugs? ……. And it also says that all girls should have a certain feminine look. Wow. So this site is stereotypical, gay-hating, sexist, site that is about 200 years behind the whole world.
I have a question. In the bible it says that everyone should be treated equally. IN the constitution, it says that everyone has equal rights.
Why isn’t this being put to use? Gays do not have their rights that they deserve as human beings.
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2:23 pm
Dear Mr. Billings,
The one good thing about your article is that in 50 years it, and articles like it, will be looked upon the way we now look at pro-segregation or anti-gender equality literature of the past: as a reminder of the hate and prejudice that we overcame.
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9:41 pm
Black civil rights have nothing to do with gay rights as even Martin Luther King’s daughter will tell you. It’s rather insulting for all those people who suffered through Jim Crow for you to suggest otherwise. Did you know King’s daughter is leading the fight against special “gay” rights?
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9:50 pm
//Black civil rights have nothing to do with gay rights as even Martin Luther King’s daughter will tell you. It’s rather insulting for all those people who suffered through Jim Crow for you to suggest otherwise. Did you know King’s daughter is leading the fight against special “gay” rights?//
Gee, I didn’t know gay people were beaten to death many years ago and still are today, and how as gay people they should still have the same BASIC (not special, unless marriage is a special right) rights as straight people, and how they’re constantly oppressed, tortured, and denied various other liberties. One old gay couple were not only forcefully ripped apart, but also had their entire house taken from them, all of their belongings gone, and in the final hours of one of the men’s lives, they couldn’t be together.
And all of those disgusting, criminal acts are carried about by terrorists like you.
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10:50 am
Dr. King’s Niece Calls Gay Marriage ‘Genocide’
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9:53 pm
what about his wife’s opinion you insensitive undereducated imbecile? have you ever thought about the legal precedents or the speeches by the most prominent and worldly respected leaders of the 20th and 21st century? clearly when you created this poorly written document you never considered what the ramifications of historical ideals were. congratulations on your continued ignorance. it provides intelligent and well-educated americans with a brighter future while you continue to live in an age that will die out with your generation who continues to believe that Nixon and Reagan are going to return to power. i pray for you.
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2:54 pm
Hysterical! I haven’t laughed this hard in a long long time. I don’t know what’s funnier – the article or the comments.
Keep up the good work.
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7:33 pm
This is an honest question:
Is this a real website, or is this a satire site? I’m really not sure if the people writing these articles are serious, or if it’s all a big joke.
The use of profanity in the video shown on this page is what has me thinking that this is NOT a real site for Christians……
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9:43 pm
Hi, I do apologize for the profanity in that video and it was a debate about whether this article should include it. Actually, the video was not added until a few days after this article was published due to some internal issues which I shall not discuss. But again, I do apologize for the profanity and urge people to watch it with the utmost caution. God bless my friend.
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10:43 pm
ITS SATIRE PEOPLE! LOLZ!
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1:11 am
I love my fag hag <3 we have been bestfriends for two or three years and i dont know what we would do without eachother. She has her own boyfriend (that i dont keep her from) and we have lives separate from her. billings, i feel sorry for you, because you are never going to experience a healthy relationship and be truely happy. i think you conservative christians need to stop wasting your breath trying to do whatever the fuck youre doining, and that us normal, healthy people should start praying for you.
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10:49 am
My personal relationship with the Creator of our Universe has given me more pleasure and solace than you will ever understand.
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11:02 am
you wouldn’t ever be able to understand the hope i have gained in humanity since i rejected the idea of your god existing.
you seem to be of the idea that we should respect your faith whille you don’t have to return that favor… why?
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9:21 am
Heterosexual men the world over should thank gay men for giving women sex tips.
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10:05 am
Yes, because clearly the homosexual male is an epidemic every bit as dangerous to western civilization as the West Nile Virus. Good on you for shedding light on this hot button issue. *eyeroll*
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10:27 am
Hilarious!
As a straight woman in her 40s, my friendships between me and my gay friends have been deep, nurturing, and lasting over decades. And never once did I hope or expect one of them would get drunk enough to want to &^%$ me.
Writer: That photo of the guy in bed is super hot!
Mom: To the Mom who wrote – don’t worry about it. Kids in their 20s have tons of different roommate situations with all different kinds of people. She’ll be just fine living with some gay guys. They’ll protect her like a sister and she may even get a lifelong friend out of it; you might too.
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10:48 am
“I won’t insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said.” — William F. Buckley.
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3:35 pm
I’m not sure what to say to this…. Haha.
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9:39 pm
How come all you boys are on here chit-chating like a bunch of homosexuals?
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12:22 am
This is absolutely absurd and based on stereotypes. I am a 22 year old gay man and contrary to your article I don’t have access to all the “overbooked restaurants” or “expensive clubs” my “fag hags” are usually the ones that are allowed to cut in front of the line to a club and I follow (when I even go out with them because I’d much rather stay home). My friends usually have to beg me to go out because my idea of a good time is staying home to read a book or watch a movie, not sleep with every other gay man. And I also have straight guy friends (big shocker), I don’t sleep with them, I don’t flirt with them, they’re my friends.
Also, for your information one of my “fag hags” has a boyfriend, another is engaged, and another is single (she’s beautiful and I doubt she’ll be alone forever. I have a straight guy friend with two moms and a straight girl friend with two mothers as well, they are all amazing people.
I am not promiscuous at all, but I have known homosexual people who are promiscuous (I have also met heterosexuals that are promiscuous) I am against promiscuity, I believe it is unnecessary but I also believe that people have their reasons and they should seek therapy. You must understand that growing up homosexual is extremely difficult and a rather traumatic experience and people cope with things in different ways.
In conclusion, I have been religious all my life thanks to my grandmother. In my religion we don’t blame other people for problems. I find it unfair for you to blame homosexuals in this article.
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10:45 am
Hi James, you start off stating that you are an exception to the characteristics I name in this article… and then you go on to describe a very flamboyant and wild lifestyle! I am sorry but maybe you lack self-awareness at your indulgence and craziness. Is this really any way to lead a life of decorum and modesty?
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1:16 pm
This site is hilarious – a new comedic fad. Congratulations on getting the message out about your half-developed brain Stephenson Billings. Embarrassing.
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3:23 pm
I would just like to remind everyone who is waisting their time trying to reason with the man that wrote this that you are doing just that: waisting your time. Not because you are wrong, but because anyone who is that convinced of his own ass-backwords, homophobic, small-minded, misogynistic, scientifically disproven drivel cannot be reasoned with and will obviously not changed his twisted (and dangerous) beliefs just because some (in his mind) liberal, fag-loving, god hating loonies post some angry comments on his article. I suggest we all just ignore this kind of bigotry because acknowledging it and adding fuel to the fire just gives this kind of thinking more attention and it gives the people who think this way more reason to think that they are right. Let’s all just take a deep breath and realize that this man is not worth your time, thoughts, comments, etc. and move on.
OH! And just for your information,
I am straight woman who has befriended many a gay man and I actually met my STRAIGHT fiance through a mutual gay friend, who (SOMEHOW) didn’t ruin our lives OR keep me from bagging a husband! AND he didn’t even try to trick my fiance into having a sin-filled gay orgy with him?! HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?? I guess I must be the exception….lucky me
Also, my acne during my teenage years was due to bad genes, working at a fast food restaurant, and what’s the thing called again…oh yeah, PUBERTY! Not because I was smoking marijuana. But again, I’m probably the exception!
Good luck and remember, God loves EVERYONE! NO exceptions
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3:31 pm
Oh one more thing…
Is this man a woman? Is this man a teenage girl? No? OK then! We can all stop taking anything he says as serious or of holding any sort of authoritative value whatsoever.
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6:47 pm
Is this Satire?! I mean is this entire site satire…because if it is, then you Steve are a mad genius
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2:13 am
If I were able to take this piece seriously it would make me sick to my stomach. Thankfully, you bigotry comes across as so ridiculous that I’m actually able to laugh at it.
You say you speak with the authority of experience. When in your life were you ever a young woman, much less one who was ‘socially awkward’ or only had gay male friends?
If I believed in hell, I know it would be populated with people like you. As I don’t, I will only say that I hope whatever higher power/force/etc. is out there shows you the light and, someday, teaches you how to be truly christian. Because this surely is not it.
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4:24 am
This is a fantastically bigoted piece, shame on you Billings for even taking the time to write such trash. Condemning homosexuals as “locusts” and generalising them all as promiscuous is a pretty unChristian attitude don’t you think?
On saying that, we all have freedom of speech and at least most of your readers are getting a good laugh out of your narrow minded and misinformed views.
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2:03 pm
http://americansfortruth.com/
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5:16 pm
Do enlighten me to what is actually ‘wrong’ about not wearing make-up/joining a sports team? Where do you get off thinking you can dictate how to make someone happy? I’d rather have one good friend than a posse of airheads any day and I’d be much happier for it. To say you’re synthetic and shallow is a huge understatement.
I don’t fit your bill – I’m a gay female, I don’t wear make-up, I’ve never played in a sports team, I had a massive variety of friends, but I have everything I want, an awesome girlfriend and I don’t know anyone who’s happier than me. (“All with no makeup or hanging off the arm of a macho meathead?” you say? inconceivable!)
In fact – everyone I know who didn’t fit your perfect childhood is at/has graduated uni and either have a fantastic job or are seeing the world.
The people who did cake themselves in makeup and play on the sports teams, the ‘popular’ girls (the ones people like me were bullied by
) all had kids by the age of 17, some of them bring me my food when I dine out, some keep my local mall clean, and some carry my groceries for me and put them in my BMW for me.
So in my experience (which is actually recent), your narrow minded stereotypes couldn’t be further off the mark.
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5:52 pm
No offence everyone but I think youve all been had, this guy has to be a troll
There just seriously cant be anyone this deluded about life out there.
If im wrong just take solace in the face that you’re just not as stupid as he is and evidently have a level on intelligence and care he doesnt have, nor will ever have.
For the record Mr. Billings I live in a home most would envy and Im a lesbian.
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7:12 pm
What exactly qualifies you to dispense this ‘advice’ to parents?
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7:19 pm
Honestly, the funniest thing I have read in a very long time. Comic genius.
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4:12 am
Your blog advertises a dating service that caters mostly to gay men. Hypocrite.
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6:16 am
jesus. christ. what bull.
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1:08 pm
I am a 25 year old straight woman. I work in theatre and have for a very long time–since high school in fact. In high school, I had pimples, was popular, had friends, did plays and as a woman I still have gay friends–very, very good ones–and have had two serious boyfriends who love me…one of which I’ve been with for 4 years.
Unfortunately you cannot pawn your problems off on gay people (if you say you are not homophobic sir, perhaps you should reread the definition of one, splash some cold-ass water on your face and take a good hard read of your article once more). I and so many of my friends are a direct contradiction of these ridiculous claims you’re making about young woman. I wonder if you know any young women even–maybe you have a daughter, but do you KNOW her? I wonder how many young women outside of your church have you spoken to–being a middle aged man, my guess is not many.
Please do not speak on behalf of a population you don’t know and have NOT BOTHERED to get to know. If you had done that with an open heart and mind, you would have found that friendships like this with men where there is no expectation of sex and an alleviation from the pressure to LOOK like “a girl” are a true live saver to an adolescent woman.
This kind of behavior–using religion to justify deliberate and dangerous exclusion of a population of people–is a lethal ideology that leads to tragedies like 9/11.
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11:42 am
Samantha, that wasn’t very nice of you!
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1:34 pm
Utter utter utter crap!
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1:48 pm
I’m a Christian, and found this whole piece to be disgusting and obscene. It’s hate-filled bigots like this who cast a black mark over our faith. I don’t understand how people like Mr. Billings or the Westboro Baptist Church can call themselves Christians, then treat fellow human beings with such contempt.
I’m not even going to get into the numerous ways this piece is ill-researched and based on groundless assumptions, I wouldn’t even know where to begin, and judging by his replies here it seems like Mr. Billings isn’t much interested in listening to them anyway. All I’ll say is, to the people attacking Christianity on here – we are not all like this. Mr. Billing is free to express his views – as stomach-churning and repugnant as they may be – but they do not reflect my views, or the views of Christianity as a whole.
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2:21 pm
The author is a closet case. Serious… read this again… how come he knows so much about “lean gym bodies that so many gay men spend hours pumping into glistening perfection” if he isn’t spending a lot of ‘time’ and ‘research’ delving into see gays themselves.
Come out, come out, wherever you are…
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6:01 pm
My family is Christian and my mother says you are a “sicko”. You are just spewing junk that is horribly wrong. You obviously don’t know what you are talking about and have no facts to back up any of you article. I am offended by the sexist comments in your article.
I know you haven’t been in high school in a while, but it is the popular sports jocks who are doing drugs and having sex more often than not. Also if this girl you talk about in your article was hanging out with straight men and had this “intense sexual desire” you speak of, she would just be having sex pre-marriage, which frowned upon.
Women who wear to little lipstick?????? Women who can’t go out in public without wearing makeup are the ones who have no self confidence, the ones who end up with the fake style of life.
Good friends come from all over. You have no right to say that all gay people will abandon their friends. You show so much hatred which is not Christian.
I have so much more to say, but as not to only type angry comments, I will stop here. I will not be reading your articles anymore and I hope that you start refining your writing to be less offensive like they teach you do in college.
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11:41 am
I am sorry to hear that your mother is filled with such instability and hostility. I would like to share this verse with you:
“Let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not the power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.” –1 Corinthians 7:2-4.
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9:55 pm
Seeing stuff like this breaks my heart because it only reaffirms how much farther we, as a culture and as human beings, have to go until the hate is gone. The sad thing is so many people would probably agree with this drivel, this nonsense, for that’s what it is.
I am a successful, 31-year-old writer and comedian living in New York City, that den of sin I so love. I am happy, healthy, and financially secure; I have an amazing group of friends and a supportive, loving, Christian family; I am overtly feminine and wear just enough lipstick. I was a bit of an oddball growing up, but my artistic temperament led me to the stage and to a group of friends I’ve sustained for the better part of two decades. In May of this year, I competed and came in 3rd place in the NYC Miss Fag Hag Pageant.
My friendships with the gay men in my life aren’t temporary or transient. They are not a replacement for hetero relations with men (I’ve got a date on Thursday, actually). There is no sexual aspect to our relationship. We simply get along. I am not friends with them because of or in spite of their sexuality, I’m friends with them because they are good people. Because they make me laugh. Because I trust them and love them and because they enrich my life. Isn’t that what a friend is? What more can you ask?
I am fantastically blessed to have these strong, talented, successful, educated, well-balanced, hilarious, compassionate and caring people in my life. Everyone should be so lucky.
Every other “fag hag” I know can say the same things. Don’t worry about us, you don’t need to “warn” parents about the “dangers” of their daughters cavorting with the queers. Please, we’re happy as can be. Instead, please warn about the dangers of homophobia and using religion as an excuse to hate, keeping young gay kids afraid and closeted, leading to depression, self-injury, drug and alcohol abuse, and sometimes suicide. That’s the scary part of this equation.
-Crystal Clements
PS – No self respecting faggot is going to let his hag look “mannish.” Please, do a LITTLE bit of research next time.
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11:38 am
Oh Crystal! I will pray for you my dear, sad friend.
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1:00 pm
Remember up there when I said I was happy? I don’t need your prayers, and I wouldn’t want them from a homophobic, probably closeted, racist who spews hate. Keep your shitty prayers for yourself. You’re the one who needs them.
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1:12 am
If this wasn’t so hateful it would be funny. There is no danger of girls having homosexual friends or boys having homosexual friends for that matter. This article implies that popularity in school is a determinant for sucessful relationships later in life, which is just not true. Furthermore the article is increadibly discriminatory towards women,suggesting that a life without a husband is a tragic event and that a woman should somehow be passive to have a satifying relationship with a man. These assertions are hurtful and based not on fact but on pure speculation on your part. What education qualifies you as an expert on family dynamics or relationships? You seem woefully misinformed.
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11:37 am
You may have a fancy degree, but you have failed as a student of human life. Things are far more complex than you’ll ever understand from your textbooks. Sometimes you need to believe in that which you cannot understand. It’s called faith.
“I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, “Move from here to there” and it will move.” –Matthew 17:20.
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6:12 am
Can you hear yourself? “You may have a fancy degree…” That’s one more degree than you have. Since you, sir, refuse to see the truth–what a failure you have become–you choose to project your inadequacies onto other people to ease your mind. You truly are the most pathetic wretch I have ever come across. It’s such a shame you never got the chance to actually make something of your life.
You can respond with whatever disdainful comment you could think of, and threaten to pray for me, but you and I both know how you REALLY feel about your successes and failures, the former of which being substantially less in number.
Eventually, one night, when you are lying in bed, praying in vain to God to feel true happiness of which you have been so long bereft, you will think about what happened to all your fanciful childhood dreams of one day being happy and making something of yourself, and you will wonder how you ended up in the horrifyingly stagnant and depressing place you are in now. And while you stare into that abysmal darkness that is the void of your futile and unfulfilled dreams, you will know real suffering. No unbridled hate speech or exquisitely worded rant will ever ease that pain.
From the bottom of my heart, I hope you find peace.
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2:26 am
Wait, is preventing a chunk of the population from procreating a bad thing?
Have you SEEN population statistics in the last fifty years?
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2:00 am
dear motivational children’s entertainer (hey mr. billings, i read your bio)
are you really insulting the careers of art directors and cafe owners? my lord, you have tunnel vision. but we knew that from reading your column.
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3:39 am
This has to be a fucking joke.
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12:02 pm
Wow, it is people like this that makes Christianity have a bad rep. I’m thinking that this guy is not married and has no kids…ummm….yeah, I’d rather get parenting advice from a hamster than him.
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12:19 pm
I think this goes to show you that people who hold hateful and narrow perceptions of the world ends up alone, single, and childless, at age 50 something with nothing better to do than be a troll online.
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6:36 pm
Mr. Billings,
from the flowery and over-dramatic purple prose of your article it seems to me like you’re missing the gay lifestyle a bit. Do you long for the old days of being a young man cruising the smokey bars and dark parks of your hometown, searching for that forbidden fruit of homosexual desire? You seem to elaborate a lot on gay sex, play with words very well and aptly incorporate gay sex into metaphorical comparisons to today’s society. Too well, I’d say. In fact, it may be subversive and counter-productive in the fact that you make both the “fag hag” and gay lifestyles seem, well– a lot better than the humdrum of suburban married life!
You know what I think? I propose that you’re just a jealous, over-zealous bigot that hides behind religion as a tool and catalyst for misinformed segregation. How can you know what the “good wife” is when you’ve never been married? I imagine that a good wife would be a strong woman, able to grasp her own destiny and manifest it into whatever she wishes. At the same time I’d also imagine that she’d be loyal and loving, honest and caring, as well as intimate and giving of herself. She sounds like a lovely lady, doesn’t she?
Guess what? I’m a gay man and my partner is JUST LIKE WHAT IS DESCRIBED ABOVE. ;] It works both ways in a relationship, and as the world changes and women become more empowered in both the workplace and the home, the scales on which things are balanced have become, well, much more balanced. If hanging out with gays on the weekends makes women feel more empowered and emboldened to take an initiative with their lives as independent single women, then more power to them. I totally support women that want to get out of the house and into the office.
I wonder, though, with all of your “research” into the homosexual lifestyle and their way of thinking, etc.., how is it that you managed to obtain all of this in-depth (although derogatory and full of brazen stereotypes) “information”? One could only imagine this sort of information came from a great knowledge of it derived from very intimate research, such as Jane Goodall living with the gorillas. Tell me, Billings, did you live with the gays? Did you go out to some of New Yorks hottest clubs with the twinks and gypsies of the night, wearing a skin-tight fishnet belly shirt and ripped designer jeans? Did you come home late at night to your cat smelling like lube and appletini’s? How many bibles have I.D. lube hand prints on their covers from your frantic searching of scripture in the wee hours of the morning as your own personal guilt and loneliness overcome you? I can almost hear your closet doors splintering at the thought.
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11:34 am
Please do not call my writing “flowery.” It may be insightful and powerful, but not “flowery.”
And I am in no way jealous of the homosexual lifestyle. It is grotesque and flamboyant and leads to a dead end. Sorry, my friend, any decent Christian parent can tell you that. Get your head out of the pornography sites and look at the world of decency around you. You need some serious paternal direction in your life, some guidance. It really sounds to me as if you’re excited by the rebellion of the gay trend, excited to tell the adults who you fear to “shove off.” Well, when you’re older you’ll see this is a horrific choice to make. It only leads to great failure and unhappiness. Don’t you want to have children some day?
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3:07 pm
No. Definitely not “powerful”. Insightful? Actually, yes. It is insightful. Insight into the workings of a disturbed mind.
And your writing WAY flowery. Can’t believe you aren’t proud of that!
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10:31 am
Are you really trying to pass this off as a serious article?
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4:32 pm
Are you really trying to pass this off as a serious comment?
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1:23 pm
*sigh*
Since you can’t be bothered, I did the research for you:
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B75DB-4W9S2NX-4&_user=10&_rdoc=1&_fmt=&_orig=search&_sort=d&view=c&_acct=C000050221&_version=1&_urlVersion=0&_userid=10&md5=5c09e2c01eddcc4360e80dce058e22c6
This is a link to a peer-reviewed article. (That means it’s science!)
The relation between women’s body esteem and friendships with gay men
Nancy H. Bartletta, Heather M. Pattersona, Doug P. VanderLaanb and Paul L. Vaseyb
Abstract
Women who associate with gay men are often portrayed as physically unattractive and lacking in both self-confidence and attention from straight men. However, many women report enhanced self-esteem and feelings of attractiveness as a result of attention from their gay friends. It is well established that body esteem can be negatively impacted by certain peer processes, yet there is a dearth of quantitative research on positive peer influences on women’s body esteem. We tested two hypotheses: (a) women with gay male friends have poor body esteem and are rejected by heterosexual men, and (b) more contact with gay men is positively related to body esteem. Participants were 154 heterosexual women, who completed measures of their friendships with gay men, straight men and women, body esteem, relationship involvement and break-ups. Results supported the hypothesis that women’s body esteem, specifically feelings of sexual attractiveness, is positively associated with friendships with gay men.
***
Being a fag-hag is good for women. Sorry our self-esteem is too high to settle for the likes of you.
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1:54 pm
Unfortunately I read your article entitled The Fag Hag. I consider this one of the biggest pieces of literary garbage I have ever read, and think you a brave man for posting a link to your facebook. As a gay man it made me angry; I can only assume the reaction it would provoke in these poor, sad, unfortunate heterosexual women you talk about.
Firstly, what is your source for the information you so willingly pretend are facts? ‘Homosexuals of all ages and young women share many similar obsessions– clothes, gossip and melodramatic TV shows– and this is what draws them together.’ Personally, I do not own a television, I have no love for clothes or gossip and prefer to spend my time reading, or watching art-house cinema. Whilst I will not deny that you have vividly described a minority of the gay community, you are stereotyping a whole section of people with blanket ideas and statements.
If it helps you understand it, I have a religious family that are supportive in the life I have been given by Him, and I would not go so far as to take your example of over-zealous religious thinking and apply it to them or anyone else that claims to Christian.
I personally feel that while your little essay is your opinion, and you are granted that, you would do well to take it down as it is slanderous to a group of people I assume you have no day-to-day dealings with, and you are projecting your own insecurities and failings on to people you do not know. Such from a grown man, never-mind an advocate of Christ, is appalling.
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3:41 pm
Was this meant to be inflammatory? I am sorry, but this article just makes me so angry. I don’t even know what to say. I have just never seen so much bigotry… My goodness, Ms. Billings.
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4:19 pm
It terrifies me that anyone in their right mind could possibly believe what is written in this excuse for an article. I have several gay friends, and none of them are drug-abusers – much less the type to wear flashy clothes and obsess over feminine things. Most of them are settled into very stable, quiet lives with lucrative careers.
I also can’t believe that the author actually thinks that a woman has to put on a girly front and wear tons of makeup just to be appealing to heterosexual men. That’s seriously one of the most shallow things I’ve ever heard. Most of the kindest men I’ve known are not preoccupied with fashion, and prefer a natural look as opposed to a woman being ‘dolled up.’
It’s so sad that bigots like you have any kind of voice in this world. I guess that’s the price you pay for respecting other people/their right to free speech.
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6:15 am
This is absolutely hilarious, I’ve sent it to all my fag hags
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6:10 pm
anyone else feel like these articles are just an excuse to post/look at pictures of hot guys?
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6:42 pm
OH MY GAY GOD, I can’t believe what I am reading! Fundamentalist Christian Americans are just the most bigoted, hateful, judgmental and screwed up people on the face of this earth. To read this piece made me laugh out loud, and also shudder with disgust at how WRONG it is on all levels. YOU are the ones who need to stop judging and being so self righteous and horrible towards everything and everyone that doesn’t live under your so called moral values. Just live your sad, narrow lives in the Bible Belt, and let the rest of us enjoy ours. Yikes.
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6:58 pm
I haven’t laughed this hard in a long, long while. Stunningly elegant satire sir. And your commitment through out the comments is to be lauded.
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9:18 pm
Why haven’t you been published in a peer reviewed scholarly journal? Your work is clearly based on extensive psychological, behavioral and academic research, unlike all the other religious fanatics that only deliver blanket statement after blanket statement. Kudos to you sir!
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7:15 am
lol trolled
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2:17 pm
It’s Minnesota’s Michelle Bachman – Chunky Jewelry, sexy sundress, high heels and hair color to hide the grays of heterosexual garden planting and baby raising – hah wait til the TEA PARTY figures it out!!!
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10:34 pm
Loved it.
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10:38 pm
Successful troll is successful!
http://imagemacros.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/successful-troll-is-successful.jpg
Obvious troll is obvious!
http://j.imagehost.org/0127/obvious_troll.jpg
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5:09 am
This is the most ridiculous ragtag piece of crap I have read in a very, very long time. I find the notion laughable that anyone, Christian or otherwise, could possibly take you seriously as a journalist or counselor.
Your hilariously ignorant beliefs–if you actually believe them and not simply spew them in a misguided, half-baked attempt at propaganda–are indistinguishable from the overblown satire of those who ridicule them.
This entire site is beyond anything I have ever seen. When I first stumbled across it, I thought I had landed on a site akin to The Onion. I was shocked to realise that it is not, and I still have trouble understanding how people like you actually hold such primitive, stagnant, proudly ignorant beliefs.
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1:15 pm
This is the most hilarious piece of rhetoric trash I have read in a while. Just to clarily (horrify) I was a happy, non pimple infested pot head future home maker in high school. I love my fags, they are family to me, my husband, and our children. I don’t allow flower print ANYWHERE in my house and my accent walls are dark green. I socialize quite well, love my CHRISTIAN GAYS, NON RELIGIOUS GAYS, SUPER FAGS, CLOSET FAGS, and METROSEXUAL BOYS just as much as I love my girl friends. Now here’s the kicker: I am not an under socialized pock mark ridden overly confused and misguided teenager. I am a happy healthy MARRIED mother of three. My husband even likes to watch football and mow the lawn.
Your opinions being touted as fact are bigotry at it’s best, and your cultural references are woefully inaccurate. Your shroud of psuedo-Christian superiority apparently works as a blinder as well as shield. You seem to have an almost pedophilic obsession with young women and are obviously appalled at the though that they should grow up without knowing the touch of a lecherous controlling man…perhaps one such as yourself? You also have a fixation on alcholism and state that your are concerned that your mother occasionally imbibes and is a hermit…perhaps misplaced Oedipal tendencies drive your paranoia about the status and sexual potency of the average American teenager? A lot of deranged and mentally troubled people have hidden behind religion and their interpretation of it’s edicts to disguise their mental incapacities. Were I in your shoes I would take a good hard look in the mirror and seek professional counseling. If you had any integrity as a “journalist” (I use the term lightly…I believe the word you are looking for to describe yourself is zealot op-ed writer.) I would clarify that what you present is not fact, and is not backed by any factual information, and that this article was written as an opinion piece for entertainment purposes only.
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6:50 pm
this is the most disgusting thing i’ve ever read. you should be ashamed of yourself. God does not want you to be mean to people who have done nothing to harm you or anyone else now does he!? You are going to go to hell.
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4:54 pm
Mr. Billings -
Can you get down on your knees and suck my big fat gay dick.
I’m sure you’d love it.
Keep up the idiocy.
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4:03 am
He’s already been there, but doesn’t give his real name.
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8:16 pm
I am a young woman who has many gay male friends and I have a college degree, full time job, good health and manners, and healthy relationships with heterosexual men. I also have a very feminine sense of style and behavior. Melodramatic and uninformed (an understatement)articles and thought processes like these are exactly the reason why people are as hateful, ignorant, and prejudiced as they are and why many people look down on religions such as Christianity. Reading this article made me feel like the only way I could see logic or common sense in it is if I were mentally insane or on a lot of drugs. Thanks to this website for putting religion and society back many many years.
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1:24 pm
People need to realize that this is a piece of satire, not to be taken literally. You are the ignorant ones for not seeing this, not the author.
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1:26 pm
You people commenting on this saying that the author is ignorant – you are the ignorant ones for not realizing that this is a piece of satire, on a satirical website.
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7:17 pm
I love reading the comments of people who take time to respond lengthily to a fake story.
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8:00 pm
you are seriously the worst Christian I have EVER heard of.
Honestly, if anyone could be farther from God, I would beg to see it.
He is the judge. Not you.
People like you are why Christianity is seen as a bigoted waste of time.
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3:39 am
glad to see that some of the old adequacy.org crew is still fighting the good fight
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7:27 am
Haha…awesome. I love this website. The best thing is that the articles constantly undermine and dispose of the idea that Americans have absolutely no idea about satyrical and ironic humour, whilst the comments underneath always seem to just reinforce it.
Quality article.
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1:03 pm
As good a piece of fundy Christian right-wing homophobic melodrama I’ve read anywhere.
The fictional premise is just THAT good!
I’d like to see it made as a TV movie. Fags Are Out To Destroy Your Daughter.
Seriously, write a script and submit it to the networks.
Love,
Mizzy
Fag Hag
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5:23 am
lol a lot of of the opinions people write are a bit spacey, oftentimes i think about whether they in actual fact read the content material and items before placing a comment or if perhaps they only just read over the titles and compose the initial thought that pops into their brain. anyway, it is actually relaxing to read clever commentary once in a while in contrast to the very same, outdated post vomit that i ordinarily discover on the net regards
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1:15 pm
OMG, you are pathetic and so fucking stupid. How can someone write that piece of shit.
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1:15 am
I’m a little confused about your use of photographs and videos in this article. First of all, the video at the end is obviously a joke. I’m a bit worried about you if you took it seriously. Secondly, the second picture at the top is Liza Minnelli…and her (former) husband. I’m confused about how that is an example of a “fag hag.”
On another point, I’ve seen you mention in some of the comments that you have extensively researched homosexuality and the other issues presented in this article. I’d love to see a list of those references, mostly because everything you’ve talked about here is an obvious stereotype. You’ve got the effeminate, partying gays; the socially inept, vampire-loving girls; the drunk, desperate for attention party girls; and the old maid cat lady. Are you sources all movies? I ask because you have a lot of ridiculous Hollywood portrayals of people who are actually relatively uncommon in society.
I’m not saying that people who fit your description do not exist. They say every stereotype has some basis in fact. But not everyone fits your descriptions. Have you ever gone out into the real world and met *actual* gay people? Or their *actual* female friends? Believe it or not, but most gay people are just people. They’re not drunk, drugged out sex fiends. Shocking, I know. In fact, I know several gay guys and none of them fit your description. Nearly all of them are highly educated, morally sound individuals, most of whom are in committed relationships (and the ones who are not in relationships are also not out sleeping with every boy they see).
I know I’m not going to change to your mind, and you’re probably going to think I’m just another drunk, amoral “fag hag” (despite the fact that I do not drink, do drugs, or party), but I think if you’re going to make the argument you’re making, and you want people to listen to you, you should find real evidence for your claims. Unfortunately for you, when you go out to look for that evidence, you will not find much of it.
You are an extremely eloquent writer, and I loved the imagery you used when describing how Christians have allowed society to become the terrible thing you seem to think it is. I keep hoping that your website is satire and we all just missed the joke. In fact, I have officially come to that conclusion, and yet somehow I still find it necessary to submit this comment.
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6:42 pm
Once again, Mr. Billings, well met! With verbosity and wit you stoke the ire of your readers, pitting them not against your subject, but against yourself. The responses of your readers are passionate and eloquent (perhaps you even wrote them). Hilarious and marvelous! Your liberal arts education has clearly served you well. I salute you sir and wish you the best in your future writing career.
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6:45 pm
The author of this article is a very sick person. How much does the televangelist pay to you to do this article?
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11:27 pm
Oh my god… I thought the article was hilarious, but these comments are making me piss my pants lol!
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6:53 pm
This has to be a joke, right? Jesus–SAVE ME FROM YOUR FOLLOWERS. I swear to Dog, Christians are getting crazier by the day. This fucking rapture you speak of can not come fast enough if you ask me
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3:41 pm
Mr. Billings, I am appalled by your article, and strongly disagree with it. But I am not going to insult you. I just have a few questions for you.
You mentioned in some responses to enraged comments you got on this article that you have extensively researched homosexuality and the effects of girls hanging around with gay men. Where are you getting your information from? Because it is apparent to me that all your research (if there actually was any research put into this at all) came from gay romantic comedies from the 1990s. Every behavior that you say gay men and girls have is a stereotype.
Let me ask you this: are you friends with any “fag hags” or homosexuals? I think the answer is no. You seem to think that every stereotype about these two groups must be the truth. As somebody with friend of all sexual orientations, I can tell you that most gay stereotypes are rarely true.
And you say that all fag hags end up old maids? That all friendships girls have with gay men are shallow? My mother is living proof that what you’ve said isn’t true. She’s happily married, with a child, and in the 1980s all of her friends were gay men. I’ll have you also know that our family is still in contact with these gay men, and they are our closest friends. Our friendship with them is not shallow simply because they are gay.
I don’t feel that friendship is dependent on the sexual orientation of the friends. Straight people can be bad friends or good friends just as easily as homosexuals can be bad friends or good friends. To say that ALL relationships with homosexuals are shallow is absolutely ludicrous.
I feel that this article is not backed up by real research you did. It appears to me that this article is just you voicing your opinions with no factual evidence to back any of it up. If there is factual evidence, prove it. Show us where you get your information from. I bet you won’t be able to show us where you got your information from, because it’s non-existent.
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4:28 pm
Sarcasm is apparently wasted on an alarming chunk of the internet. The article is great; the comments are even better. Day made!
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6:34 pm
My best friend is gay. I have been a “fag hag” for almost ten years. I am engaged to be married next fall (to a straight man, who currently attends an Ivy League University and is getting his masters in aerospace engineering). I have full time, high-paying job in marketing and I am working on my MBA. Oh, and I am a Catholic who attends church every Sunday.
My gay friend is not a drug addict, and he will be starting med school in the fall. I still have the best time when I go out with him. We go to the gym together almost everyday. HE IS A PERSON, NOT A LIFE-RUINING DRUG. He has hopes and dreams and goals, just like you and me, and he is working to achieve them.
This is the most ignorant article I have ever read about what it means to be friends with a gay man. If a girl falls into drugs and drinking and doesn’t get married, that is certainly not the fault of her friends, gay or not.
This article is repulsive and insulting.
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