Shocked officials attempt to catch a beligerent, wild Mexican streaker at a baseball game. The crowd at Citi Field was left in awe and bewilderment as the Mexican used uncanny agility to escape officials and continually brandish his brightly colored American flag
New York – With an unprecedented display of swift movement and hard work, a Mexican randomly attacked an onlooking crowd at City Field by wielding a Mexican flag and defiantly waving in front of the faces of the American spectators, depthly alluding officials in the process.
Two Mexicans, carrying their country’s flags, allegedly decided to protest Arizona’s immigration law by disrespecting America’s greatest pasttime with a bit of streaking. This heinous attack took place during the 7th-inning stretch of the game between the New York Mets and the Arizona Diamondbacks, at City Field.
One of the Mexican attackers quickly tired out, in expected fashion, but one ran as if fueled by the speed of 20 habenero peppers at once.
As the Mexican streaked and waved his flag, insider reports indicate at least forty Mexicans steathily emerged from random portions of the stadium, yelling out “Oppose racism” and then disappearing as quickly as they appeared back into the shadows, like brown recluses.
Other Mexicans apparently wrote nasty letters to MLB headquarters, stating that all games should be permanently moved from Phoenix and any other Mexican locale.
Diamondbacks interim manager had a response to the pressure from the illegals:
“It’s not going to distract me. I’m here to play baseball,” Diamondbacks interim manager Kirk Gibson said after his team’s 9-6 victory over the Mets. “You have an opinion, I have an opinion. They have the right to say what they want, but it’s no distraction.”
Officials finally called in professionals from La Migra, who were able to subdue the streakers with advanced capturing tactics, and as the two trespassers were caught the crowed chanted, “USA, USA”.