• Japanese Conspire with Ghosthunter GHI Taps to Create Creepiest Robot, Bald, Legless Telenoid R1

    August 3, 2010 5:56 pm 15 comments
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  • By now you are all well aware that the Japanese should be barred from making any new technology. The Japanese are a brilliant people who are very good at math and science, but their morality is still a few centuries behind.

    We have seen them create robot whores, firebreathing robots, gay robot priests to do gay weddings and even worse, military grade robots that they are selling to their supposed ancestral enemies the mothership Chinese. Well my friends I hate to say it and reveal this, but the Japanese have managed to create a robot even more dire than all these others I’ve even flown over to report about.

    Now our friends at the Daily Mail reveal the Japanese have created the creepiest robot of all time, The Legless Telenoid R1. The Japanese have purportedly conspired with none other than Taps (The Trans Atlantic Paranormal Society Atheists) and Ghost Hunters International, a problem group here who tells ghost stories to children to make a buck on tv, to create this legless floating ‘ghost type’ robot.

    Ghost Hunters International is a scary bunch of people who create all these videos where they go, “Booga, I see shadows and orbs!” and then try to pretend that when people die, they do not go to heaven and hell and just dwell around and come out to scare people at very convenient moments.

    Well this has impressed the supernatural Japanese culture and scientists so much that they have created these robots to look like a ghost, and then make a ‘cool’ part of every child’s life so they will be more prone to believe in all this nonsense. This ghost if very scary and creepy:

    Its pale torso is about the size of a small child, it has no legs and just stumps for arms.

    For a man who has made his life’s work coming up with increasingly creepy robots, Hiroshi Ishiguro has really outdone himself this time.

    The Japanese roboticist has just unveiled his latest creation – a strange robotic creature called the Telenoid R1.

    Scroll down to watch the robot in action

    Hiroshi Ishiguro with his latest invention, the Telenoid R1

    Hiroshi Ishiguro with his latest invention, the Telenoid R1, which he says can transmit the presence of a person from a long distance

    An elderly man communicates with his granddaughter via the new humanoid robot

    An elderly man communicates with his granddaughter via the new humanoid robot

    Ishiguro has, in the past, tried to exactly replicate living humans and once developed an eerie robot replica of himself that he named Geminoid HI-1.

    He also came up with a terrifyingly lifelike female robot called the Gemnoid F.

    But the new Telenoid is something of a departure for the eccentric inventor.

    Ishiguro designed the Telenoid R1 to be a robot that could appear like many different ages and that is easily transportable.

    It is intended to be used as a communication device so that people can ‘chat’ from long distances: the robot is supposed to be able toe transmit the presence’ of a person from a distant place.

    A girl receives a lesson via computer from the robot which is shaped like a child and composed of minimal human features

    A girl receives a lesson via computer from the robot which is shaped like a child and composed of minimal human features

    To operate, the user must sit at a computer with a webcam that tracks the user’s movements and captures their voice.

    Actuator’s in the robot’s body help it to move in a realistic way.

    These movements are then mimicked by the Telenoid which is sitting with the message’s recipient.

    The Telenoid R1 will be demonstrated at this year’s Ars Electronica festival in Linz, Austria.

    Ishiguro says: ‘The unique appearance may be eerie when we first see it. However, once we communicate with others by using the telenoid, we can adapt to it.

    ‘If a friend speaks from the telenoid, we can imagine the friend’s face on the telenoid’s face.

    ‘If we embrace it, we have the feeling, that we embrace the friend.’ 

    A commercial version of the Telenoid will go on sale later this year for about £5,000.

    At this point, nothing about the Japanese really brings true shock value to me. They have created such wrong things in their times and this one is just another drop in their bucket of liquid sin. These people’s sins are as fluidic as the ocean, ebbing and flowing on the whim. This robot is scary and like I’ve said, we need to go ahead and take a hardline stance on them.

    I’ve railed on them for trying to promote ghost stories to children, but naturally, we have far much more to be worried about here. Only years ago, the Japanese conspired with the NAZIs to take over the world and even attacked America. People like this cannot be trusted with flying ‘ghost type’ robots, meaning America would have to divert more resources to our water-gun turret and thundershock robot technologies. We may even have to delve into the darkside to develop psychic wave robot technology, which we confiscated from the Chinese in the late 60s.

    Our we can just nuke Japan again and make them sign an updated treaty, where we let them know they can no longer build robots, cars, phones or anything else we do not approve. Remember, the Japanese are genius and crafty, very sneaky with meticulous hands, and with but a small electronic item can create a great instrument of war and destruction.

    Here is a closer video look at their robot. Go ahead and let your wife stay in the room while you watch it, so you can educate her on how to instill fear of this robot into your kids so even the next generation can be properly instructed on why the Japanese cannot be trusted with technology and will conspire with anyone to bring destruction to mankind:

    Video: Japanese create a legless robot. The robot is legless for it is intended to be fitted with hover technology, serving a duel purpose of convincing kids that ghosts are real and also to develop a new potential military weapon.

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    Abe If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack. Follow me on twitters. Poke me as your New Friend on Facebook!!

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