My Sassy Child is Out of Control!
A friend recently shared a difficult story with me about her out-of-control teen. She came home from work early one day to find that her 14-year old daughter had several friends over and the television was blaring. When confronted about the mess and the noise and the violation of many family rules including the one about having boys over, this girl gave her mother a lot of sassy “back talk” in full view of the other kids. This woman, a kind-hearted and gentle soul, felt so brow-beaten she retreated to the bathroom until the entire group, including her own daughter, left her alone with her hot, messy tears.
As the standards of childhood have loosened over the years, this sort of sassy child has become all too common for Christian families. Search online and you will come across literally thousands of websites where mothers are desperately seeking help with their mouthy children. Sass spreads like wildfire among tweens and teens. Once they witness how effectively it irritates parents and teachers, they seize upon that extra edge of sassiness when trying to avoid the chores, homework and family bonding so important in a moral home. Young and awkward children also use rebellion as a way to gain that elusive hint of peer acceptance. They will claim their attitude is borne out of the injustices they perceive around them, but rather it’s a byproduct of their own internal emotional failings. The danger with this sort of disruptive behavior is that many children never learn how to outgrow it, becoming even more outrageously sassy and difficult as adults. As Proverbs 22:6 reminds us, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
WHAT ARE THE ROOT CAUSES OF SASS TODAY?
1) Mothers who fuss over fussy infants
Fussy infants can become sassy tweens. Crying, which is medically proven to be good for the lungs, should not cause a mother to rush in to comfort her young child unless it is a genuine medical emergency. Wait 5 to 10 minutes before offering solace; otherwise you are only encouraging your child to be emotionally demanding.
2) Lack of household discipline
Families need to have consistently-enforced rules for children and mothers need to be twice as vigilant about sticking to them. Pestering, whining, complaining and arguing should not be the basic form of communication between the young and the old. The threat of punishment should be real enough that it never need be more than a threat. “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.” –Proverbs 22:15.
3) The myth of the “creative” child
We live in the midst of a culture that enshrines the independent and rambunctious child. Crayons on the wall, loud singing and even playing video games are taken by some parents as examples of their child’s budding creativity. But creativity is a double-edged sword. For many, these activities take time away from genuine study and the wholesomeness of sports, which in turn provide a foundation of usable skills and good health so necessary later in life.
4) Playing with overly urban dolls
Bratz dolls, Busty Barbie, Homeless Gwen and toys of this ilk suggest a streak of independence and inappropriate sexuality that some young girls find appealing. Since these dolls do not talk, the children who own them imagine an attitude to fit such skimpy and ethnic attire. Often, their imagination leads them to the loud, aggressive accents they may have heard on an inner city street or programs like The Tyra Banks Show.
5) Influence of older sisters and cousins
We trust our relatives and leave our children alone with them because they are family. But do we really know what’s happening in those upstairs bathrooms or trips to the mall? Girls naturally adore their older kin and will work desperately hard to win a few seconds of their attention, even if it means mimicking their vicious talk about the clothes of celebrities or kissing boys.
6) Not enough praise for good behavior
It may sound like bribery, but rewarding your child when he or she gets good grades, wins a sports competition or attracts the acclamation of other adults will only encourage continued proper behavior in the future. Buy a small gift, let him or her sit in the front seat of the car, anything that says, “I love you!” When you fail to do this, it forces the child to seek other avenues for your involvement in their lives. Some need your attention so badly that they will even settle for your anger over your indifference.
7) Failure to become popular at school
Proper socialization is vital for the psychological health of young people. Friends and lots of them help a girl develop self-esteem. Sometimes a little push towards appropriate clothing styles, the correct sports teams and a dance committee is all it takes! For the lazy, it’s just too easy to fall back on self-defeating mental crutches like insolence and attitude.
8) Zero self-confidence!
Do you feel like your child lacks an essential self-worth? Have they not yet had the opportunity to prove themselves and succeed at something? The key here is to understand why you child feels so low about him or herself. Don’t be afraid to ask! And then encourage your kids to try something that they might succeed at.
9) No moral foundations for their young souls
Simply put, the miracle of faith is the most important gift you can give your child in their teenage years. It will help him or her navigate the troubling waters of adolescence with the knowledge that the afterlife will provide them eternal relief from the momentary corporeal suffering that is youth.
10) The fatigue of puberty
A teen’s body goes through such dramatic and amazing changes year by year that most youngsters resort to sleep and masturbation to cope. In turn, such introverted and unfulfilling habits make them bitter and unfriendly. Again, parents need to encourage their kids to enjoy outdoor fun and actively discourage them from self-abuse. (It is difficult, but every mother should talk to her kids at least once about masturbation.)
11) Acne and pimples
The shame of bad skin pushes a child away from normal activities and friendships. He or she will sit at the back of the classroom and find consolation in the company of other outcasts. This is how the epidemic of sass spreads, as the children use bad language and hand gestures to combat the popularity and success of their more gracious peers. Even more worrisome is the fact that this outcast lifestyle can ultimately damage a girl’s chances for biological fulfillment later in life. (Simple solution: take your child to see a dermatologist!)
12) Online websites and videos
There are far too many examples of kids acting out on Youtube and other websites today. In essence, they train teens to push a parent’s buttons in ways that would have been unthinkable a decade ago. What may come as a shock to many parents is that cross-dressing is currently one of the most popular trends in homemade videos. As I have explored in a previous article, the number of young boys who garnish themselves in dresses, wigs and poor makeup is maddening. The style of affectation most of these video stars turn to will come as no surprise: it is the Ground Zero of boyhood sass.
13) Mother and her gossipy friends
This is a unique problem that boys face. In homes where Mother dominates and Father is absent, a boy will think it appropriate to adopt the worst, loud habits of a domineering female element. From flashy clothes and fast talk, to catfighting and cigarette smoking, there are too many unpleasant womanly mannerisms that can fill up a lonely boy’s vacant soul.
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SASSY BOYS AND SASSY GIRLS
Females primarily use sass in the family environment. For them, it is about their relationship with their mothers. Young girls are like hounds, sniffing out any weaknesses in those around them and then exploiting it to the fullest. If they sense a mother is too gentle or meek, they will abuse her kind nature with sass. This is an especially confounding problem for a woman who only wants to share the love of faith with her angry child.
Boys develop sass as a secret weapon to use outside of the home. Most understand, even unconsciously, the feminine undertones of sass and will be too ashamed to deploy it in front of their fathers. Yet in schools and around their friends, boys will dial up the sass in a desperate attempt to get attention for their emotional histrionics.
In a previous generation, washing a child’s mouth out with a bar of soap or making them swallow spoonfuls of Castor Oil were acceptable solutions to brassy behavior. Those tactics have gone the way of family legend, but the danger of sass remains. If a child learns that being a smart aleck pays off in freedom from responsibility, it can lead to a lifetime of problems. Independently-minded and rebellious children are far more likely to experiment with drugs and sex. For girls, the prospect of having a stable family life in her future is seriously compromised by such introverted and frustrating character traits. For boys, homosexuality, as always, is a uniquely difficult situation. Sadly, many a sassy boy will jump full throttle into a homosexual lifestyle because it offers an easy outlet for his frustrations and angers, the mystery of his growing body and the complicated world of adulthood that he does not yet understand. If parents would only address the roots of sassiness early enough, so much future pain and trouble can blessedly be avoided!
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Stephenson Billings
Stephenson Billings is an Investigative Journalist, Motivational Children's Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector all in one special, blessed package! Facebook me here or Fanmail me: StephensonBillings@yahoo.com !
9:25 pm
Dear God Stevie, you aren’t qualified to tell a woman what to do with her marriage, and now you think you’re qualified to tell people how to raise children, when you’ve never raised one?
Are you smokin’ somethin’ fierce Stevie?
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
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9:30 pm
Dang! I wanted to be first. You snooze, you lose!
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11:12 pm
Every article I read on here is so much funnier now that I know it’s all just a satire
Hot debate. What do you think?
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1:15 am
buíllings you have no idea what you are talking about. you have never raised anyone. but let’s go through the points 1 by 1
first of you start by saying a bunch of bullshit.
that kind of behaviour comes from bad parenting plain and simple. the more rules you enforce the more a teenager will start to need freedom and start to question their parents superiority.
set a few important guideliens and then enforce them. work through encouragement rather than punishment.
1. no. allright there’s no need to rush in on a child but waiting 5 to 10 minutes? then you teach the child that you don’t care about it. it will not develop a bond to you. they need the comfort of their parents at pretty much all times.
2. this one i actually agree with but then again i also belive this is common fucking sense. but there should not be too many rules either. provide freedom as the child grow up let them make their own decisions and alow them to have a bit of their own responsibilty.
3. if you as a parent alow a child to use time on their creative means rather than do homework it is the oparent that failed not the child. any decent parent is more than capabel of balacing thei childrens playing time with their study time.
and once again for some sports have no apeal. forcing your child to do sports simply because they have to live up to your standards are more likely to turn them against ýou as you are proveing you do not love them for who they are.
4. once again bad parenting if you freely let young kids learn this as normal. however kids are able to percive fantasy from reality. maybe you should learn it.
5. you really have no idea what goes on in the head of teenagers do you? you seriously are so clueless.
6. once again you are right… more than you even understand it seems. this should be the main motivater not the fear of punishement.
7. no. no no no no no no. you should n ot force your kid to become this hollow shalow shell of a human being. let them go in the clothes they fell comnfortable learning them to cave into perrpreasure is a horrible idea. and learning them to be friends with the “right” people rather than seeking true freinds is anything but helpful. this is a isue where parentys should be suportive but otherwise keep out as they can do nothing but mess things up.
8. agreed but i bet you don’t yourself. what if the kid has failed at all the sports you forced on it but have a great talent for one of the many creative arts like music or drama? what would you do then? go against rule 3 admiting you were wrong? i doubt it.
9.
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1:21 am
got cut short damn
9. why not teach them morals outside of relegion? otherwise they will start questioning those morals whne they question their faith. it’s not like you have the right to force your relegion on them anyway. teaching them morals is an important thing and if you can’t do it without the use of your relegion i don’t think you are suited to be a parent.
10. once again you have no expirience on this particular subject and you have no idea what you are talking about but i have civered why with others in the apropiate thread.
11. god you are a shalow man. you are whats wrong with this world in more than one way. teach you kid that what people act like is far more important than how they look for gods sake.
12. god you are far out. this is so far removed from reality that i don’t know how to react to it. it’s youtube videos. the people rarely act like they do in the videos in reality and rarely do kids think they do.
13. but shouldn’t that boy be removed from his mother? it is vital for a kid to have both a farther and a mother so that women should not be alowed to have kid anyway? this is not me real response but it’ll stand until you find a counter argument you are alowed to use without being a hypocrit.
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11:10 am
Jazze, yes bad parenting is often to blame– that’s why I included it in many places on my list! Lack of discipline, bad parental habits like gossipyness that rubs off on kids, etc. etc. Please pay attention a little better next time! But this child attitude can also result from OUTSIDE influences, kids at school, etc.
I would also like to add you are clearly not old enough to understand or appreciate the responsibilites of being a parent! I have counseled many disruptive children and I have a great deal of experience with this sort of thing. Yes, I understand things about kid’s minds I really think you have missed out on.
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4:50 pm
“I would also like to add you are clearly not old enough to understand or appreciate the responsibilites of being a parent!”
Oh, and you can appreciate the responsibilities? You’re not a parent.
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4:56 pm
“Jazze, yes bad parenting is often to blame– that’s why I included it in many places on my list!”
no you advocate bad parenting. forcing personal ideals and openions on you kids rather than trying to actually understanbding them is bad parenting. that is what you encourage.
“Lack of discipline, bad parental habits like gossipyness that rubs off on kids, etc. etc.”
but what you advocate are either common logic or absurd.
“Please pay attention a little better next time!”
i did you made no sense
“But this child attitude can also result from OUTSIDE influences, kids at school, etc.”
i will not deny this. however atitude is more than simply back talking. a good parent realise that they are not allways right. they listen to their kids. if you don’t listen to you kids you will never be able to understand their needs.
“I would also like to add you are clearly not old enough to understand or appreciate the responsibilites of being a parent!”
no but i have just passed tha age where i had these “problems” myself and have a sister you wouldn’t belive.
also you yourself have also never been a parent so neither can you claim to understand it.
“I have counseled many disruptive children and I have a great deal of experience with this sort of thing.”
counseling does not give any kind of insight into how a parent is treated. you have no idea what it means to be a parent nor what it means to be teenager today.
“Yes, I understand things about kid’s minds I really think you have missed out on.”
no you do not. you do not know things about people they don’t know themself. stop being so fucking argoant and delusional.
if you are not going to defend your asumptions (that is what it is it is not fact and it is not expirience) but just go right for the “you are not qualified to have an openion ball” guess what so willæ i. you are not qualified to talk about this subject. there now your entire post is invalid. guess it doesn’t matter mine is too huh?
face it i made good points and you can’t counter argue it so you vent straight for the man instead of the ball. ironicly what you keep acuseing us of doing whille the truth is that every time we make a qualified argument you refuse to talk about it. because you know you’ll never win an argument with us.
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1:34 am
The homosexual thing at the end? really?
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2:07 pm
It’s Stevie’s scapegoat for everything. “War’s goin’ on? Must’ve been them gays.” “Children are being raped! Damn you gays!” “People being independent, that leads to gayness!” “Drugs? In my country? It’s more likely than you think…with gays.”
It’s his one trick-pony to relieve the stress of his closeted self.
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11:03 am
Homosexuality is a genuine problem facing this country today. If we are to be vigilant and moral citizens, we must not let our guards down for a second in this fight. I do not use homosexuality as a scapegoat, rather I follow closely the work of many other devoted to seeking out the gay agenda in our schools and private lives. Peter LaBabrbera, the head of Americans for Truth About Homosexuality is another, Matt Barber, Maggie Gallagher, Tony Perkins. Google those names and you find how many of believe in this courageous battle. God bless!
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5:14 pm
//Homosexuality is a genuine problem facing this country today.//
How so? According to the New Testament, it seems pretty fine. That’s right, you’re psychotic and you follow the teachings of mad men who wanted people killed on sight for petty things.
//If we are to be vigilant and moral citizens, we must not let our guards down for a second in this fight.//
The fight for what? Preventing people from being happy?
//I do not use homosexuality as a scapegoat, rather I follow closely the work of many other devoted to seeking out the gay agenda in our schools and private lives.//
No, you think that homosexuality is the gravest of sins and one of the most vile things ever, so to make sure you get your point across that something’s bad, you say it leads to homosexuality. You’re no different than the assholes who claimed others were witches or communists and had them burned and jailed just under suspension.
//Peter LaBabrbera, the head of Americans for Truth About Homosexuality is another, Matt Barber, Maggie Gallagher, Tony Perkins. Google those names and you find how many of believe in this courageous battle. God bless!//
And all those people are brainwashed into believing things that Jesus condemned even though he makes no mention of it and ignore any proven contradictions to their thought process because they can’t take the time to realize what else was considered evil back then.
You know how you like football so much? You’re going to hell! Your eyesight’s fading and you need reading glasses? Too bad, God says you can’t see him. And you have Leviticus to thank for sending you to hell.
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2:05 am
This reminds me of those attitude black girls on Maury Povich who have sex with dozens of hoodlums then try to bring them on there to find out who the real dad is, but it’s never the guy they bring on.
So they throw a party and dance around, all while joining together with the audience to laugh at the little hoochi mother hood rat girl.
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2:19 am
You forgot the giant space lobsters and dancing banana trees they bring in. Because anyone who’s actually seen the show knows that those appear at the end after they get drunk and fuck each other senselessly.
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8:22 am
So I guess you’re going to try to deny this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vt2i0ts-uck&feature=related
Also, look on the side. There are hundreds more.
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2:05 pm
Not saying it doesn’t happen, you seem to think however that’s all that happens.
Go back to drawing on the wall, your mother’s calling you to get off the computer.
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7:57 am
Billings, you don’t know shit.
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9:22 am
Are you retarded?
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10:36 am
You cannot be for real!
But then again; the Taliban exists …
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3:43 pm
You people are all crazy and/or really stupid. This is a spoof site! None of it is real! It’s like The Onion for religion. Hahahaha!! Get it??
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11:05 am
You know that old joke is getting really, really tired. This is not the onion and don’t try to undermine the validity of my argument by saying I’m not serious. It’s just pathetic. I am a committed Christian who wholeheartedly believes in the love of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Your immature and paranoid fantasies just lower the tenor of our discussion here.
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4:59 pm
“This is not the onion and don’t try to undermine the validity of my argument by saying I’m not serious.”
why not you do it all the time?
how long ago did you use the quote “i’m not going to insult you by asumeing you belive what you just said” or something like that(not good with quotes)
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4:04 pm
you’re not a christian, you’re an extremist, there is a huge diffrence
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7:53 am
I’m Still pissing my self. Billings you did it again. A total master piece of cock and bull, with a bit of gayness added so you can get it up around small children.
Hey you should join the scientology group, and hope that an alien comes down and mind probes you. As you would only like the anal probe and we wouldn’t like to see you smile.
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11:06 am
As a parent and a Christian, I would hope you would know better than to use foul language so readily. You are an insult to us true Christians.
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5:09 pm
Says the man-child who picks and chooses what to follow of Leviticus’ rules. You really need to get on with killin’ your friends who cut their hair and stoning those who wear different fabrics.
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12:53 am
if hating everyone and Killing everyone who are not thinking like yourself Billings is the meaning of TRUE CHRISTIAN I prefer to be atheist
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1:16 pm
I am not advocating the killing of anyone. Please keep that straight!
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1:16 pm
The behaviour you describe in this article is perfectly normal, teenage behaviour. However, if I was a teenager and my parents were the kind of people who took this site seriously, I would do my best to be as difficult as possible. And leave home as soon as I could. And enjoy myself.
Every time I look at this site I realise that there are people so much worse off than myself. Stephenson Billings being one of the main ones.
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1:19 pm
How is this behavior normal? You have a loose grasp of morality and maybe it’s normal in the liberal debauched times you have grown up in but there was once an America that we all knew and loved that had ethics and patriotism and children were decent and responsible, not indulged to be loud and crazy.
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4:35 am
“overly urban dolls”? LMAO!
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2:18 am
Im old school, i beat my kids with my bible before i make em read it and that seems to work out well so far.Also i tell them that smiling is the devil gaining control of your soul and that liberals are on earth to lead you astray, just like dinosaur bones and the theory of evolution. look, believe whatever crazy shit you want just KEEP IT TO YOURSELF! Evangelism is social genocide.
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1:43 am
I gave my mother loads of problems growing up. One thing I loved about her was she always tried to explain why she was punishing me, or why she wouldn’t allow me to do certain things. Even to a child and teen’s mind a lot of what she said made sense, and I knew she loved me.
All of this absolute control over a child… to prevent ‘sassiness’… its necessary, we don’t want our children to turn out exactly as we are, we as parents have always wanted BETTER for them. They can’t do that if they are exactly like us.
If you do not accept your child for who they are, and simply try to change them because you don’t like how they speak or look, you’re giving them the opposite of what they need… love. Give your child rules, but give them space to grow and learn for themselves.
Remember this, however your child turns out in the end… then they are as God always meant them to be. Direct them, love them, but do not smother them because you love them so much you cannot stand to see them become teenagers, growing too wise for their own good, not understanding what they truly mean to you.
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1:44 am
meant to say ‘Its not necessary,’ sorry.
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7:44 am
Caption for last pic: Bitch talk to the hand!
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5:50 pm
Thank God for this site! I’m laughing so hard my stomach hurts!
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5:06 pm
pitty sinful ateist america won’t let them kill their sassy child like God wants.
lolgasm!
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4:08 am
Mr Billings,your reputation is starting to stink a bit,here’s what some fellow americans have to say…Remember,just because they say something you do not like,does not mean they may not be non christians or such…just that that is what they gather of you from your writings..http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/Stephenson+Billings
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6:30 pm
Doesn’t God say you’re supposed to kill bad kids anyway?
also lolreligion
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11:13 pm
Maybe the kid is being sassy because it’s figured out God isn’t real and that as such his (or her) parents are fucking retarded and that they shouldn’t be consulted about anything.
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7:03 am
Histrionic Personality Disorder affects male and female children….most frequently through the developing relationship with the mother….and it starts very early 5-8 years of age it starts coming out. The male child exhibits outside the home, in a public place such as school. He will determine what degree of attention he seeks and demand that…making a school teacher’s job difficult. Not to say females do not also act out in public, however this HPD begins with mom at home, and is founded in the development of social relationships which are at the core of female DNA. The logistics transcend generations, and for both male and female, lead to distant, failed relationships, and unexplained, not-understood depression…..Sassy kids seek attention (subconsciously they desperately wish they could understand the unfulfilled need of their mother’s love which is bestowed upon them bearing the full force of codependency, not-well-understood desires, and a strickened sense of insecurity that is glossed over with overt, controlling personality needs)…compare this HPD to behavior problems of teens, criminals, and also just consider those underlying obsessions commonly noted among homosexuals, male and females……”So, are ya feeling more Butch now? America? Do you want to talk about those unfulfilled needs? Yet?”
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2:22 pm
Apperently this is a joke, like the articiles aren’t serious, I hope so
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3:10 pm
This guy reminds me of Regina George from Mean Girls. Someone who thinks they can do no wrong but is hated by a lot of people.
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2:31 am
i could go through every bullet point but instead i will just say masturbation is not self harm. if anything it’s self love…discovering your own body in puberty in super important. it leads to happiness. who doesn’t like orgasms???
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2:47 am
Billings? WHY YOU SO STOOP1D?!
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