NASA Reveals New Space Robot, Robonaut 2 (R2)
Houston, TX – Today in a televised press interview, NASA revealed the newest addition to America’s space-fleet, the Robonaut 2 space marine.
The Robonaut 2, called R2 for short, is designed to be America’s newest generation of space explorer. The robot uses advanced LED/MIG technology, making its AI at least 100x more advanced than the cutting edge Japanese robots.
In addition to exploring the lunar surface of America’s moon and that of our new colony of Mars, this space robot will be armed with the ability to destroy aggressive foreign space vehicles with mounted laser technology. Its AI will also allow it to improvise, so as to allow it to solve new problems it may encounter on a mission.
Its tough alloy ‘skin’ is designed so that if necessary, the robot can give itself the necessary trajectory to ‘float’ through space should it need to evacuate a space vehicle, the reenter the atmosphere of Earth in a calculated descent within the United States.
This spectacular robot was given the go-ahead by United States President George W. Bush, in his challenge to America to ‘reach to the moon and beyond’ in our new quest to Mars. Obama has cut all funding to this program, using all of NASA’s funding to give aide to Hamas terrorists in Palestine.
NASA’s R2 generation model will likely be the last in production, until and if a Republican president is elected in 2012 and allows this program to continue to the next generation of AI-space robots for America’s future.
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Author: Jim McCarter
The workshop of character is everyday life. The uneventful and commonplace hour is where the batle is lost or won.
5:10 pm
How awesome, it even created its own Twitter?!
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7:22 pm
“In addition to exploring the lunar surface of America’s moon and that of our new colony of Mars, this space robot will be armed with the ability to destroy aggressive foreign space vehicles with mounted laser technology. Its AI will also allow it to improvise, so as to allow it to solve new problems it may encounter on a mission.”
Wrong. America doesn’t own the moon, it has visited it. Neither does it own Mars. It wil not be able to destroy satellites, it will be able to run simple diagnostics.
“The Robonaut 2, called R2 for short, is designed to be America’s newest generation of space explorer. The robot uses advanced LED/MIG technology, making its AI at least 100x more advanced than the cutting edge Japanese robots.”
Also wrong. The fact that the robot uses technology doesn’t mean it uses it better or more intelligently than Japanese robots.
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8:16 pm
I wonder what they gonna create next R2D2 perhaps
and Like you mentioned the Moon doesn’t belong to america
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3:57 pm
I realize that because we have not been to the moon in their lifetimes, some younger people may not know that the USA took possession of the moon on July 20, 1969. It was a huge deal at the time because we beat the Russians to it. It gives me great joy when I see the light of a full moon in the night sky that I know it is part of the 50 states.
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1:08 pm
Wait, didn’t we film the moon landings in a Hollywood studio, right around the time we sprinkled the globe with pretend dinosaur fossils? If only Jesus W. Bush would come back and save us from our confusion!
(btw, you do know that this site is satire, right?)
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9:26 pm
I for one welcome our new robot masters…
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2:16 pm
This is a fucking joke, all of this. None of what is written above can be taken seriously, it is just too stupid to be real.
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