Playstation Network Down, Throw Out Your Child’s PS3
Today, you may hear your child cry and whinge because “The Playstation Network is down”. What they are referring to is a dangerous interconnected system of devices that allows them to communicate with other adults, fully grown men, to play various fantasy games on their game simulation system called Playstation 3.
These new systems are of Satan. They call it ’3′ because when you play with your friend online, it is 3 x 2. That equals 6. Three sixes is Satan and it is from Japan.
There are dangerous games for the Playstation 666, as it is really called, such as Grand Theft Auto Online. What happens here is that your child can join a street gang: Mexicans, blacks, latinos and even Cubans. They run around in the neighborhood and rob nice women, shoot the police and even fornicate. They can join adults online to do this and it is sick.
Then there is Metal Gear Solid. This game is about the sick things hookers do downtown. They use solid metal gear to perform fornicated acts of Satan, then try to get your children to join online as if it’s normal. Thank God for people like Jack Thompson who keep us informed of these dangers.
More games on this network:
God of War – This game is about worshipping Satan. In ancient Greece and Rome, they called Satan by the name “Mars” or “Aries”. They believed he was a part of an imaginary pantheon of gods who sat on top of a mountain and ruled humanity. This game is sick because it teaches children to worship Satan subliminally under his alternate ancient names.
True Crime: La Streets – This game is like Grand Theft Auto. You run around in Los Angeles listening to secular gang music, which is already bad enough. What is really bad about it is that the game encourages you to shoot innocent people and even cops, and then gives you reward points for it. If you shoot enough people, the gang rapper Snoop Dog shows up and you can play as him. This game gets your children to think that it is fun and games being a gangster committing “true crimes” of the hood.
Blood Omen – You can just look at the name of this one and tell it is of Satan. It is about occult rituals and tells children in the handbook: “Now lock your bedroom doors and make sure mom and dad are not home. Invite your friends and your new best friend of all, Satan.” It then goes on to tell children how to summon demons in the home. This game is very dangerous and if your child has it for their Playstation Network, burn it and the game system. You should bless your house with Olive Virgin oil for good measure.
Halo – This game is deceptive by name alone. You see the name and instantly think of angels. “Oh, what a great game about angels on Earth, helping to convert whore demons and gays into a righteous life and my child gets to play as one. Neat”. This is how the game spiritual warfare was for normal Nintendo and sadly, this game is nothing like it.
Instead, this game is about fantasy war and violence. After playing this game, studies show that 14% of children under the age of 18 have homicidal ideation and 2% come up with a plan to act out on it. Halo is responsible for school shootings and extracurricular shootings, and is even linked to teen pregnancy.
These games don’t even describe the dangers of how like Facebook, the Playstation Network puts your child in touch with millions of strangers, of whom many are potential criminals (murderers, gays, snatchers and so on).
So now that the Playstation Network is down, make sure you have it be down and out. You are scared and want the best for your child, so just get rid of the Playstation “3″. They will whinge and say it’s not fair, but you just tell them it’s also not fair if they end up in the electric chair because Halo made them kill someone, or even worse, a stranger tricked them into meeting him ‘at the mall’ and then did horrible things to them and then you weep as they show up deads on the 5 o’clock news.
Just watch the news this week and eventually you’ll see some people involved in shootings or missing, and just think, these dangerous gaming networks could be involved. Fix it, parents. Don’t let you and your own become victims of you not making the right choice.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Reverend Clyde H. Higgins
You're all sinners in the hands of an angry God, a spider dangling over the burning flames of hell and only protected by one silk thread. God has scissors ready and hates those who spin webs of sin.
1:34 pm
And Retard Higgins shows why old people should stay away from New Media; the sheer paranoia and fear without understanding is too much.
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2:40 pm
Well aren’t you just an ignorant little shit?
I particularly like how two of those games aren’t for the PS3. True Crime: Streets of LA was a PS2 game, while Halo was an Xbox exclusive.
Speak not of that which you know little, lest ye sound like a complete tosspot.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
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4:33 pm
actually Halo was also On PC but not on PS3 ( when it’s was released PS3 didnt exist )
and for Playstation Network this is what we call today INTERNET
and Playstation 3 is for because it,s the third console but since you go to the Number 6
you know the bible has 66 Books ?
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9:43 am
the pc version came out like a few years after it was released on xbox
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4:34 pm
Wow, I love reading this site, it’s like one giant joke. I never have seen so much misinformed bigotry and stupidity in one place. It’s called a PS 3 because it’s the third iteration of the popular playstation brand you inbred tosser. I also love that 99% of the comments from reader in all of these articles are about what a fuck-wit the author is. Because they are. No wonder christians are seen as intolerant, bigoted, racist half-wits. Because they are led by by the very same.
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11:40 am
You’re so naive. PS stands for “Popularize Satan”. Another link in the homo-UN-liberal battleplan to destroy Christianity in America. You think it’s just coincidence it’s made by japs?
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1:09 pm
You’re close, but you’re falling into their trap! The REAL UN battleplan is to make people like yourself sound like complete, total, uninformed, idiots who don’t know how to use Google to check their own facts or articles, discrediting the entire religion and ensuring its own self-destruction!
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4:38 pm
Come on, at this point its bascially just trolling .
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4:41 pm
no it’s called the playstation 3 because we allready had the playstation 1 and 2. and then if you are able to count you might know comes 3.
if your kid is playing grand theft auto you fail as parent anyway seeing as it’s not a kids game.
also great research. metal gear solid is about counterterrorism. allright it’s fucking far out and extreamly convoluded but that’s the gist.
following that logic the bible is about killing the son of christ and suffering and killing humanity in general.
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5:30 pm
You missed the most insidious: Little Big Planet. In this ostensibly child-friendly game, you play a soulless puppet navigating a world that the player creates. The cute (if deeply disturbing) graphics attract youngsters and those who would normally avoid such filth, and the level creation allows the player to directly substitute himself for the true Creator, God the Almighty.
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8:23 pm
Or.. you know possibly, LittleBigPlanet has a level creator to let fans be… creative, which seems to be a terrible sin these days. Not to mention most of the points in this article barely make a valid point at all. Also it lists games that aren’t even on the PS3. So next time, do some research before you make stupid assumptions about something you don’t know anything about… >_>
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6:37 pm
“These new systems are of Satan. They call it ‘3′ because when you play with your friend online, it is 3 x 2. That equals 6. Three sixes is Satan and it is from Japan.”
Or, y’know, because it’s the third console model in the line. I know which explanation I’d bet on.
Sheesh, this op-ed reads like it was a co-op between Dan Brown and M. Night Shyamalon…
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7:35 pm
The only thing I have to say is that Halo isn’t on the PS3, Metal Gear Solid isn’t about hookers, and this article is just plain stupid.
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7:44 pm
Should probably also point out that the entire plot of the first God of War was to KILL Aries.
So, operating under the back-asswards logic that he’s totally Satan, that would make the ultra-violent gore-fest that is God of War just the sort of thing this site should approve of.
Actually, it should approve of it anyway. Lousy writing, uninteresting stories, very little research involved, and even less basis in fact. They were made for each other.
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8:22 pm
So many errors, it’s ridiculous in this article.
This makes me want to play my Playstation 666 more.
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8:41 pm
Well I’m gonna turn on my Playstation “666″ and play some 3D Dot Game Heroes which probably is another SATANIC game according to you bigoted half-wits.
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8:46 pm
So many factual errors that I find it hard to believe anyone is actually fooled! Come on boys and girls – good parody should be convincing to at least some degree.
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2:09 am
How dare you say Halo was on ps3. Xbox 360 > Ps3
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12:13 pm
i like how all of the comments are about which games are actually for ps3 <33
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4:09 pm
OH MY GOD!!! HOW I CAN’T SEE IT!!! THE PLAY STATION 3 IS A WEAPON OF SATAN!!! NOW IT’S CLEAR TO ME, YOU CHRISTIANS ARE SO IDIOTS AND REATARDED THAT CAN TAKE A SIMPLE VIDEO GAME AND TURN IT INTO A DAMNATION TO MANKIND, SO FUCK YOU!!!
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4:10 pm
You are so stupid, What About “Viva Pinata” its about MEXICAN PINATAS, they are evil and satanic, Oh its true that fucking game is also for Xbox right?
Stupid Old gag!
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4:53 pm
Okay, first of all, apparently at least five commenters here don’t understand sarcasm, because Swift’s comment here was chock full of it.
“You missed the most insidious: Little Big Planet. In this ostensibly child-friendly game, you play a soulless puppet navigating a world that the player creates. The cute (if deeply disturbing) graphics attract youngsters and those who would normally avoid such filth, and the level creation allows the player to directly substitute himself for the true Creator, God the Almighty.”
Nice going, guys. Secondly, my favorite line from the article isn’t actually related to video games. It’s this one: “You are scared and want the best for your child, so just get rid of the Playstation ’3′.” Note that it doesn’t say “You are PROBABLY scared,” or “IF you are scared.”Mr. Higgins TELLS you what you are feeling, like he knows you better than you know yourself. That, or he thinks if he says it enough times, it will hypnotize you into feeling the way he wants you to.
One more thing. I think we should all remember that while there are many Christians like this one in the world, not ALL Christians are like him. I know quite a few who are decent, tolerant, intelligent people. Don’t stereotype, okay?
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9:15 pm
Now that I think about it, this whole 666 business of yours is wrong, too. Let me just double check your math:
(Playstation) 3 * 2 (players online) = 6.
Right, I can see that. But how do you go from 6 to 666? What mathematical equation are you using? What is giving you the “multiplied by 100″ factor? If a math teacher has to prove to his peers that some formula equals 444, he can’t give them something that works out to 4, and then say, “4 is the same as 444, so I’m right.” He’d be laughed at, then probably be fired.
Therefore, what you’re really saying is the number six itself is indicative of the Devil. We’d better stay away from everything on the Wikipedia page for the number six. This includes:
Guitars (they have six strings, oh no!)
Volleyball teams
Cubes
US Senators (six year terms in office)
ANY drink sold in a six pack
Honeycomb
“The 12 Days of Christmas” – After all, not only is 12 divisible by 6, and therefore the same as 666, but have you heard the lyrics?! “SIX geese a-laying!” That is disgusting, lewd, Satanic innuendo for bestiality. I am appalled that this song has gone unchecked for so long, and more importantly, I am disappointed in you, Reverend Clyde H. Higgins, for not being the one to do something about it. How can you act like you care about this world and its morals, if you aren’t at least willing to go around your neighborhood nailing up signs that say, “Save the reputation of Christmas! Ban songs that encourage sex with geese!”
Upload the pictures of these posters hanging on every telephone pole, onto this site, so my faith can be restored. God bless you, Father.
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12:02 am
Playstation “3″. He is saying the “3″ (which is doubled to 6, when playing online with a friend) is 6 (1 “3″) 6 (2 “3s”) and then 6 (3 “3s). Pretty easy to follow and with your name, it sounds Asian so I’m surprised you’re that dense with numbers.
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1:33 am
Of the 22 (this will make 23, unless more come as I write this) comments on this article so far, maybe four or five are likely signed with the author’s real name. That being said, I find it somewhat amusing that you are so quick to assume the handle “Fu” has anything to do with my real name or origin. If calling myself Fu makes me from Asia, I guess Left Hand of Satan lives in Hell. I wonder what his WiFi signal strength is like. Also, way to stereotype every person living in Asia with that “good at math” joke. How original. I suppose the Indians who live in slums, drinking and bathing in the same water, are all math prodigies, too.
As for the math I apparently am so dense at, let’s review your method. The factors you were given were the 3 from PS3, and the 2 from the number of players. The possibilities are:
3+2=5
3-2+1
3*2=6
3/2=1.5
That’s it. You can’t get 666 (six-hundred sixty-six) from those numbers, unless you decide to CHANGE the rules of math, such as what you are doing. You are saying that it makes sense to do 3*2, then do the same problem two more times, and line up the three unrelated products. With this logic, I could relate almost anything to Satan.
Look, look! See, this is the 3rd Barbie doll my sister ever owned. Her friend owns the same one, meaning two people I know own it. The 3rd doll, times 2 people, equals 6! Wait, 6 of what? This is a number which doesn’t actually have any tangible meaning. That aside, you take the 6-of-whatever, and repeat the digit so there are three 6s in a row! Oh no, Barbie is the toy of Satan!
Get it? These numbers, though they each describe some part of this… *cough* “equation”… aren’t actually related. You could just as easily be playing an online game with 10 people in the room. Make that into 666, now. Reverend Higgins is manipulating data to fit his formula, instead of collecting valid data that he hasn’t created himself. If he walked into three separate apartment complexes, built by the same contractor, and discovered that each one had a Room 6, I’ll bet he’d cry Satan.
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2:07 am
Just saying that The Bible has 66 Books In it ( pretty much clsoer to satanism )
and who In heir sane mind would throw away a 400$ console ??? (approx)
and anyway ever see kids crying and screaming over parents for that ?? I guess no as for Higgins I bet he loves to have kids aroudn him after all he is a “pseudo reverend”
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2:16 am
Whoa now. I agree that this priest is an idiot, but let’s not go saying things like that. Joking aside, I don’t think it’s right to call someone a pedophile just because you think they’re stupid. This may seem hypocritical of me, as I did say some highly critical, and probably unnecessarily mean, things about him. All I’m saying is, there are lines I don’t cross.
Then again, I have never heard the term “pseudo reverend”, and thus don’t know it’s meaning. I was assuming that was your implication, but if I am mistaken, I’m sorry for calling you out like that.
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11:50 am
For pseudo reverend I meant Jazze one of the commenter here did a Test to pass the religion Ministry ( perfectly Legal ) and became Reverend
so what I mena a Pseudo reverend Like Higgins exist its means is not a “real reverend I know many reverend and they won’t go preach hate to every corner of the country
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7:49 pm
Okay, now I see. Thanks for the correction. Don’t I look silly now?
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11:34 am
I just wanted to point out that I can Make my username “Snowball me Jesus”. These comments are awesome! I can’t wait to play halo 1 on my PS 666
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8:36 pm
I struggle to believe that this site isn’t some parody meant to lampoon Christian beliefs.
The authors on here can’t be serious, right?
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5:36 am
I’ve begun to suspect that, too. Even an idiot would know he was going to get flamed for saying these things. I guess we’re all saps (except you) for getting so worked up over it. Some friends of mine on Facebook are debating as to whether this entire site is satire.
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6:24 am
Wow, grossly mis-informed article
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6:03 pm
FIRST OF ALL YOU’D HAVE TO BUY GRAND THEFT AUTO FOR YOUR INSUFFERABLE LITTLE BRAT. SECOND OF ALL THEY CALL IT PLAYSTATION 3 BECAUSE IT’S WELL,THE THIRD PLAYSTATION. THIRD OF ALL I’M GOING TO GO PLAY MY PLAYSTATION 666 SO BYE.
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11:48 pm
Ok, this has to be a parody site…I mean no person in their right mind really thinks this do they? It’s either a parody or this is somehow connected to those Westboro nutjobs. I mean really? God took down PSN? Time to throw out your kids PS3? Most Playstation Network users are criminals? Wow. Just wow.
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