• Who Will Win America’s Got Talent 2010 – Jackie Evancho, Poppycock, Michael Grimm or Fighting Gravity

    September 15, 2010 9:06 pm 8 comments
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  • The biggest talent show on Earth is coming to an end tonight. Only four contestants remain on hit television show, America’s Got Talent.

    Over 100,000 people auditioned. Now America has to decide, who is the best new talent in America.

    We are left with four choices and tonight the winner will be crowned. Let us take a look at each contestant and then from our analyzation, we can tell who America should pick.

    1. Prince Poppycock
    Talent – Designing frilly outfits and an operatic concerto voice
    Talent Calibre – 8.3/10 (for, concerto voice, interesting outfits, stage presence)
    Downfalls – Gay Agenda

    Prince Poppycock is a royal dandy. In a speech only several weeks ago, Poppycock remained in character and instructed children across America to ‘look at me, I’m proof you can do whatever you want.’ Poppycock was supporting the gay agenda and for that reason, deserves to lose.

    Thank goodness Judge Piers Morgan cast an X during Poppycock’s performance, because it was a heaping pile of sin-marinated homosexual bolderdash! In his final act, Poppycock pretended to care about a woman who was being hanged to death. He pretty much ignored her and played with a sword, which was symbolism for what gays enjoy doing to each other’s squid dangles as is. They play dallied sea swords and ignore women. Sickos.

    Here is Poppycock’s final performance and I made sure my friends and family understood that anyone who voted for Poppycock is helping gays, so they will be helped straight into hell upon death. Do not text message “1” to vote for Poppycock because God has the line tapped and he knows who voted for this powdered British monster who is against American freedom and perverts our Christian values.

    2. Michael Grimm
    Talent –
    plays guitar, singing like an older black man from Mississippi
    Talent Calibre – 8.6/10 for (soulful voice, guitar skills, burgeoning stage presence)
    Downfalls – Obama-generation urban culture jealousy

    Michael Grimm is a good guy.  He’s from Mississippi.  He was raised in a shack house by his grandparents.  That old shack blew away in Hurricane Katrina, leaving his already poor family even more destitute.

    What a great sob story?  His story is great because he wants no sympathy, he only wants to achieve great things in the name of his family and so that he can help out his grandparents.  Michael Grimm sings with the soul of a black man who has been oppressed and down-trodden. 

    Sure, there was an entire choir of homeless black people who happened to be former military heroes who were forgotten after the Vietnam and Iraqi wars, and sang like actual black people who’ve had a life so tough their voices turn rich yet raspy, but America doesn’t need that depression.  What America needs is something fresh and actually deserves our talent/sympathy vote.  That man is Michael Grimm.

    Unlike Poppycock, Michael Grimm dresses like a proper man.  Grimm can also sing soulful songs.  The only true problem with Grimm is one:  will he earn America’s vote?

    The problem is that many minorities may be offended that Grimm can perfectly sing like Al Greene, Percy Sledge, Smokie Robinson or The Temptations.  Or Otis Redding and Ray Charles, who just so happen to be able to play some guitar like B.B. King.

    3. Fighting Gravity
    Talent – fraternal hijinx, concept design, choreography, novel ideation
    Talent Calibre – 6.4/10
    Downfall – Pi Kappa Alpha, Anyone Can Do It

    Pi Kappa Alpha is a fraternity with lax entry rules and is run of the mill. Above are the letters to a real fraternity, Sigma Chi. For quality college men who may think about rushing this year or even the spring, if your campus allows it, you should check out Sigma Chi.

    Sure, Fighting Gravity has a wow factor. The thing is that as anyone knows, this is the type of thing we always do at Greek shows. My brothers and I could do something like this and so can you, especially if you click our link up above and rush your local Sigma Chi chapter.

    Fighting Gravity will get a Vegas show. Yesterday, the performers attempted to strike a religious chord in a heaven versus hell dichotomy. It is an entertaining act and I’m sure that their crazy designs are dreamed up at drunken parties, adding only to their surprising effect it has on simple audience members and proselyte Jewish comedian judges named Howie Mandel.

    Jackie Evancho, America’s Angel
    Talent A voice that can soothe the roughest seas. A sound that not even divine angels resting upon puffed clouds hear in the best of their dreams. A voice designed by the skilled hands of God. A young girl who will become a voice of history, a voice of legend and a timeless figure for the ages. Jackie Evancho.
    Talent Calibre – Invaluable. There are no numbers to put to such a talent.
    Potential Obstacles/Unfair Disgruntled Prince Poppycock fans with text plans, Satan’s fear and jealousy

    Jackie Evancho is only ten-years-old. She is cute. She is bubbly. She is just an all around adorable child. There is one thing though and that this is this: Jackie Evancho has a world-class voice that not even the most skilled of adult singers possess.

    After hearing Jackie for the first time, audiences worldwide were left in stunned silence, tears filling their eyes and their legs wobbling from the surreal experience. Fans of Prince Poppycock were alarmed, calling in to demand Jackie Evancho sing something that was not rehearsed.

    Howie Mandel informed Jackie after her second performance on the show, and again, just by singing a warm-up scale Evancho managed to move this audience and made all of their problems go away.

    Satan does not want Jackie Evancho to win. Only last week, Evancho performed a complex piece in which it looked like she floated upon the clouds of heaven. This week, she performed a favorite: Ave Maria. This song is so difficult, that the best of singers will not attempt it outside the studio. Jackie Evancho performed this song with great skill. She performed the song with great spirit and heart.

    Today, look at the national weather forecast. You will see much of the US received rain yesterday. It was simply tears of joy from the angels of above, lightly raining down to Earth due to this child’s beautiful song to Mother Mary. What a joy and honor to be able to hear Jackie Evancho perform live.

    As you wipe the tears from your eyes after Jackie’s performance, just take time to sit back and reflect upon this child’s voice. Amazing.

    Jackie Evancho should be the winner this year. That’s my pick and I am sure that it is yours too, unless you support the gay agenda or drunken college drop-outs who met in a mediocre fraternity. Vote for Jackie Evancho, America. She is the voice of our century, millenium and for all future generations.

    Jackie Evancho is a pure white angel walking the Earth, blessing the life of every person she comes across.

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    About The Author
    Dan Nordgren Born and raised in upstate New York, Dan Nordgren is currently a film student who enjoys martial arts, mountain climbing and football as components of his very active life. Join Team Sarah TODAY

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