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As young women leave the family home and strike off on their own, it’s only natural that they seek out small domestic comforts. In college or else when they move to the big city to try out a career, there is a longing for companionship. Cat ownership is the gauze that often fills that void. Felines appear reliable and easy to maintain. They never leave the home and girls, so anxious for a relationship in which they are not readily cast aside, appreciate the unconditional devotion of a pet. But can a cat truly substitute for the rightful, loving bonds that a man provides? Are young people setting themselves up for a future of problematic human interactions by letting such a creature become the chief object of their domestic emotions?
As has been discussed many times before, cat ownership is a tricky proposition for Christians. Human beings have been entrusted with the stewardship of the lesser beasts on God’s earth. As Genesis 1:26 makes clear, “Then God said, Let us make man in our image, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” In other words, we are meant to hold dominion over this world. Animals have been provided to help humans, to be of service or sustenance. It is a form of slavery for us to be beholden to their whims and fancies. Cats are notorious for demanding much from their owners and creating an atmosphere of “animal kingdom” dominance on the home front. Unlike dogs, they contribute almost nothing in terms of service. They willfully damage their surrounding environments, tearing papers to shreds and urinating everywhere. The only time a feline will show any affection or obedience towards a master is when it craves food.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=geu1P-CxnTY
In small apartments and shared rented houses across this nation, many women (and even some men) have given themselves over to cat ownership. As a recent article in the New York Times makes clear (see “Cat People Are People, Too”), these are often females of ambition, striving aggressively to push ahead in the work world. For them, their pet is a familiar face, a stabilizing force. The cat is the antithesis of the wild, competitive atmosphere they approach with attitude and demands outside of the home. When these women dare to bring a man back to their premises, however, the feline instantly feels threatened. It will embark on a series of schemes that seem almost intentionally planned to harass the man. At first the cat shuns the new visitor, as if he’s dangerous or diseased, and the woman will find it odd that her wise pet has taken such a severe disliking towards her nice male friend. Then it will leap onto the man’s lap at the most inappropriate of moments, declaring its dominance over any intimate situation. The cat is not afraid of using its sharp claws on silk ties or expensive cotton slacks. It will enjoy leaving deep scratches on a guest’s arms that itch for days. They will hiss and spray. And when the man is finally driven out by all that mischief, he takes with him a reminder of the little beast in the form of allergenic shedddings stuck to every fiber of his clothes. Women often seem surprised that men do not return for other visits, but little do they know of the true battle that was secretly waged in their very homes.
As a consequence of all of this unspoken hostility, many women find themselves spending more and more time away from their cats in their mid to late 20s. They have struggled through a series of relationships that failed to blossom, success may have cruelly alluded them yet ambition still ravages their brains. Alcohol and nights out with friends are an easy answer. With no foundation of family or church to care for their needs, bars and clubs becomes their principal houses of worship. No, there is no true Redeemer to pray to in these places. Instead, it’s fruity cocktails and shirtless men, harsh disco music and bathroom secrets. Their escape is the escape of loud shrieks and horrific laughter escaping from their lungs! The sweaty, skanky embrace of an unknown man against a back wall, a boozy tongue darting deeper and deeper, the clack of heels on a sidewalk shaking you awake to the fact that you’re now completely alone… The cat may not be the chief cause of these depressing scenarios, but it is certainly an aggravating factor. Overall, this sad fate is emblematic of the overly complicated and independent mentality of certain types of women, a mentality that drives them to a dangerous mix of cities, cats and promiscuity.
For men who seek comfort in pets, felines lay out an odd trap. The animal’s ambivalence and brooding confuses basic masculine instincts. It forces owners to spend more time at home pondering the queer dilemma of cat ownership. As this situation compounds over time, the man unwittingly adopts an elderly lifestyle. He becomes homebound and introverted, pursuing work as a freelancer, computer operator or graphic designer– anything that keeps him within his warm confines most hours of the day. It is no surprise to find this sort of fellow sleeping on a couch or wearing slippers at three in the afternoon. He has crafted his flannel wardrobe around a sheltered, cat-like existence, napping anywhere anytime, prowling the odd corners of his apartment, approaching his windows to simply stare out into nothingness for minutes on end (or else to smoke a cigarette, there is an odd correlation between males who own cats and males who smoke cigarettes). Like his cat, he will eat in small portions from little cans or containers (yoghurt, pâté, cheese). He may grow inordinately serpentine and lackadaisical, stretching out in small patches of sunlight, scratching his parts while deep in thought, avoiding shaving razors and hot showers. Unsurprisingly, male cat owners form the majority of their amorous connections on the internet. Even less shocking, very few of these men are heterosexual.
As cat-owning women grow out of their period of boisterous career pursuits, they begin to mimic their pet’s solitary lifestyle. As I have explored before, these coddled creatures become a halfhearted substitute for male companionship. Even worse, this corrupt codependency becomes an excuse to let oneself go physically. The woman realizes at some point that she does not need to clean herself, does not need new clothes or to groom properly, for what does her companion the kitty care? The creature may even enjoy the skanky musk of its owner. And from there, common decency and propriety are easily lost. I have seen many vile habits of cat owners in my day. Allowing these furry friends to prance across countertops and food preparation areas! Letting them lick pans on the stove or plates of butter! Some are even permitted to prowl around a dinner table after a hasty prayer. Do these people fail to comprehend that only minutes before this creature was wiping its paws across the foulest corners of their homes? In the greasy crevices beside refrigerators, the dusty spaces behind couches and radiators, through the foul damp of cellars? These whiskered wantons love nothing more than to follow the trails of diseased mice and rats! And then there are those women who sleep with their cats! Do they find some sort of fulfillment having these balls of fur seek out the warmest nooks in the bed, entrenching themselves in hollows of feminine perspiration? It’s simply wrong and foul.
For those who have had the misfortune to occupy a home with a cat, every day is a battle. If you do not have a fondness for these creatures, they sniff you out, monitor you from across the room with their cold, soulless eyes, waiting for just the right moment to taunt you. They will tear at your favorite sweater, shred the last roll of toilet paper, even urinate in unknown corners of your bedroom, terrorizing you with dried cat pee spots that will smell for weeks before you finally locate them. And what could possibly be worse than crawling into bed after a long day of work to find your feet suddenly in some chilly pool of wetness… Your sheets ruined, your mattress ruined, paranoid evermore than Chairman Meow will repeat his liquid symphony, you sleep on a hard wooden floor, your door tightly closed, a flashlight by your hand and the sound of pattering steps arousing you throughout the night! And where is the owner of that friskered little freak? Does she even care anymore? And you wonder why I left? Could it be any more obvious? How could you choose a cat over a man? Are you happy now? You cat owners are some of the most spiteful people on the planet, selfish souls who know nothing of human passion and devotion, people who deny the great responsibilities that our Lord demands of us, the beauty of love and the rewards of marriage forever beyond your comprehension.
“Hold not thy peace, O God of my praise; For the mouth of the wicked and the mouth of the deceitful are opened against me; they have spoken against me with a lying tongue. They compassed me about also with words of hatred; and fought against me without a cause. For my love they are my adversaries; but I give myself unto prayer. And they have rewarded me evil for good, and hatred for my love. Set thou a wicked man over him; and let SATAN stand at his right hand. When he shall be judged, let him be condemned; and let his prayer become sin.” –Psalms 109:1-7
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Stephenson Billings is an Investigative Journalist, Motivational Children's Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector all in one special, blessed package! Facebook me here or Fanmail me: StephensonBillings@yahoo.com ! 
Um, is this for real? Did you leave your wife / gf because of a cat?
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i hate cats.. but if i didn’t, and i owned one, id probably still have a girlfriend.. just sayin. don’t make your “secret love” (because we all know your obviously not really christian because you are the Antichrist) for cats the reason your still a virgin. its cause you are an idiotic, judgmental, asshole who NO ONE LIKES!
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no…. my cat help me find my future wife (ps i am a female) suck that susan
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god loves hussies and three legged turtles
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great. yet another “how-to”-guide on how not to do journalism.
first of linking to your own personal openion and calling it a discusion is plain wrong. does that mean i have proven that you have murdered at least 21 people because you are christian and i have multiple times argued that every christian murders at least 21 people? no that’s not how argumentation work. you have yet to prove anything so you can not use your findings as any kind of proof. there’s nothing wrong with haveing an openion but useing as fact is especially if you’re going to call yourself a journalist. seriously i dare you. get any selfrespecting news paper that is not strongly relegious to print a single of your articles. you can’t because you are not a journalist. because you do not follow the rules of journalism.
you have far too much of a bias. your hate for cats shines trough and there is no facts in this mess.
you refer to how dogs are far better companions because they do not make your their slaves as much… let’s see a cat demands food…. a dog demands food, constant atention, that you walk it, that you play with it heck it even need you to help it take a shit.
yes a cat may be destructive… if it’s not house trained. a dog may also shit on the carpet if you don’t train that. and untill the day i get asulted by a cat because i walked in the door i dare say that cat’s a far less anoying when badly trained.
you also contradict yourself. fiorst you call the love of a cat “unconditional” then claim they only love you when they are hungry… though seeing as that sounds pretty much like your god i can understand why you’d be confused.
and to make a perfect end to this mess of ignorance we have the fact that you have no idea what you are talking about. at best i’d asume this comes from a personal expirience where you were driven from a girls house because you couldn’t leave the cat alone. or maybe the truth is that you were so fat and ugly that the girl had trained the cat to keep you away from her.
you haven’t asked any of these cat owners what they think or even found out anything about their lives… you simply asume.
but hey the homosexual pedophile blooger with mommy isues who is too stupid to figure out how to use his own PC properly also have right to have an openion i guess.
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Jazze, you have made many mistakes in your statement and I feel that it really makes me mistrust you. Clearly, cats are carriers of disease and cause many household accidents, including human injuries. I have no bias against these creatures, I am merely speaking facts.
You twisted attempts at logical are verbal foreplay at best. Sorry, I do not get “down” for that sort of action. You cannot rightly claim I am a murderer because in your heart you know it’s a lie. Nor do you have an iota of faith of Biblical teaching to back up your outrage.
While I may have personally had some negative experiences with cats, it does not mean I am incorrect. How does the old saying go, “Just because I’m paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not after me.”
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“I have no bias against these creatures, I am merely speaking facts.”
You have no bias against them? Right, and I’m Carol Channing! Half of your article was a rant about your past experience living in a house with two cats.
“Clearly, cats are carriers of disease”
So are humans. Are you aware that in school we don’t use gloves when handling dog and cat blood, and don’t give a second thought to the dried dog and cat blood on our fingers when we’re coming out of lab? In fact, most veterinarians don’t use gloves, whereas if you were to go into a hospital, those nurses, doctors, and lab techs would be snapping the gloves on as soon as there was any indication that they might come into contact with ANY of your bodily fluids.
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For a 19 year old, you sure reference Carol Channing quite a bit. She’s more my generation than yours, by the way. I remember her from “What’s My Line?” when I was a kid. She really knew how to make a boy laugh!
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For a 19 year old, you sure reference Carol Channing quite a bit. She’s more my generation than yours, by the way. I remember her from “What’s My Line?” when I was a kid. She really knew how to make a boy laugh!
First of all, I stopped being 19 a month and one day ago. Second, I believe this is only the first time I’ve mentioned Carol Channing. Either that or it’s the second. Regardless, I haven’t mentioned her “quite a bit”. And why are you shocked that I know who Carol Channing is? Since you claim to know me so well, surely you’d have remembered that I’m a big fan of musicals.
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Totally irrelevant to the discussion at hand. Claire made an excellent point, and you flat out ignored it.
Horrible.
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so acording to yourself we should avoid things that are diseased and can cause injuries…. well that would mean that human interaction should be stoped shouldn’t it? cats are no more dangerous in this aspect than any other living creature on earth.
also i don’t hate you or your faith. i’m mearly stating the facts. and the fact is that you are stupid.
why do i need to have faith to have an openion? i can understand you being afraid of logic seeing as it’s both far too complicated for you to understand and it proves you are wrong but that doesn’t make it any less correct.
you are right i have no proof that you have murdered anyone. and you have no proof of anything you posted and in your heart you know it’s all a lie.
i also enjoyed how you danced around that little part with dogs but oh well it’s nothing new that you ignore things you can’t argue with.
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Bravo Mr Billings. Another excellent distillation of the dangers presented by inter-species relationships. No doubt there will be unreasonable people complaining about your stance but they without exception are prey to inappropriate sexual urges and should be dismissed. Would you give credence to the moans of an odious pedophile? The bestial mewlings of perverted animal lovers are no more to be accommodated.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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I appreciate your support!
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Ah, but alas, we’re still subjected to the bestial mewlings of perverted pseudo-christians…
So hey, Billings, as a 60-something single, how are you qualified to dole out dating advice to 20-something singles?
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Ummm… are you going to answer my question, Billings?
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The people of christwire suck doggie dick!!!!!!! Never in my life had i heard such lies, being used to control people. In fact the biggest pagan festival there is, is Christmas. A roman festival of sex.lol any one who believes the things they say on this website is nothing more then a fool an should be sent to hell.
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If you’re not mature enough to engage in intelligent conversation, maybe you shouldn’t be here.
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well neither are you but you haven’t left yet
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Billings, you have no culture whatsoever. No one on this website does. You claim you have have the Bible to back you up? What about the bible makes it any more true than Star Trek? Okay, Its old. So, I think I am going to go worship Beowulf. I have no problem with Christianity, but taking the Bible word for word like the information on the back of a cough syrup bottle is just ridiculous. Sure, the Bible has good morals, but it is also extremely outdated. Many of the morals do not apply to modern life; the world has changed. Do not push your morals on others. Christianity is just as corrupt as your cats.
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“Are young people setting themselves up for a future of problematic human interactions by letting such a creature become the chief object of their domestic emotions?”
No.
“Unlike dogs, they contribute almost nothing in terms of service.”
So just because an animal doesn’t “serve” humanity, it’s worthless? You’re an asshat.
“tearing papers to shreds and urinating everywhere.”
As I explained in your previous rant about felines, a cat will only urinate in inappropriate places if it’s ill, or if its litterbox conditions are less than favorable. Cats are very clean, fastidious creatures. If their owner is not cleaning the litterbox on a daily basis, they will deem it too dirty to step in, and will take their business elsewhere. Or, if the box is in a place with heavy traffic, the cat may choose not to use it, as they do not want to eliminate in front of their entire family. The same is true if the box is placed too close to their food bowl; cats do not want to contaminate the area where they eat.
“The only time a feline will show any affection or obedience towards a master is when it craves food.”
Bullshit.
“When these women dare to bring a man back to their premises, however, the feline instantly feels threatened. It will embark on a series of schemes that seem almost intentionally planned to harass the man. At first the cat shuns the new visitor, as if he’s dangerous or diseased, and the woman will find it odd that her wise pet has taken such a severe disliking towards her nice male friend. Then it will leap onto the man’s lap at the most inappropriate of moments, declaring its dominance over any intimate situation. The cat is not afraid of using its sharp claws on silk ties or expensive cotton slacks. It will enjoy leaving deep scratches on a guest’s arms that itch for days. They will hiss and spray.”
Although it’s true that cats are territorial and will be wary of strangers, and that male cats with female owners have been known to be unaccepting of new men in the house, that paragraph is based mostly on your own experiences, not the experiences of the whole. As for spraying, only unneutered male cats spray.
“many women find themselves spending more and more time away from their cats in their mid to late 20s. They have struggled through a series of relationships that failed to blossom, success may have cruelly alluded them yet ambition still ravages their brains. Alcohol and nights out with friends are an easy answer. With no foundation of family or church to care for their needs, bars and clubs becomes their principal houses of worship. No, there is no true Redeemer to pray to in these places. Instead, it’s fruity cocktails and shirtless men, harsh disco music and bathroom secrets. Their escape is the escape of loud shrieks and horrific laughter escaping from their lungs! The sweaty, skanky embrace of an unknown man against a back wall, a boozy tongue darting deeper and deeper, the clack of heels on a sidewalk shaking you awake to the fact that you’re now completely alone…”
Can you please provide a link to a source, preferably a study or series of studies?
“there is an odd correlation between males who own cats and males who smoke cigarettes”
Source?
“Like his cat, he will eat in small portions from little cans or containers (yoghurt, pâté, cheese). He may grow inordinately serpentine and lackadaisical, stretching out in small patches of sunlight, scratching his parts while deep in thought, avoiding shaving razors and hot showers. Unsurprisingly, male cat owners form the majority of their amorous connections on the internet. Even less shocking, very few of these men are heterosexual.”
Source?
“As cat-owning women grow out of their period of boisterous career pursuits”
Oh, I see, so the seeking of a career is just a “period”, a “phase” for women, huh? Something they’ll “grow out of”? You’re a piece of shit, you know that?
“Even worse, this corrupt codependency becomes an excuse to let oneself go physically. The woman realizes at some point that she does not need to clean herself, does not need new clothes or to groom properly, for what does her companion the kitty care? The creature may even enjoy the skanky musk of its owner. And from there, common decency and propriety are easily lost.”
Source?
“Do they find some sort of fulfillment having these balls of fur seek out the warmest nooks in the bed, entrenching themselves in hollows of feminine perspiration?”
It’s called loving something that’s not yourself. You might want to look into it.
So Billings, what’s YOUR excuse for being single?
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suck on that one billings
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a bit crudely phrased at times, but on the whole i agree with you!
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Just wanted to add something about your arguiment ( which is actually correct )
Cat are actually useful on farms and many country house ( even in city as well ) killing off vermin rats and mices just to name a few
oh and by the way did you know as well ( this one for billings ) that Male cat owner attract more women then lets said a Jock in highschool
why simply because most women seek the Tender side of men
also when cats wants affection it,s because they really wants affectoion like the cats of My friend who were sleeping on me for the last of a Movie ( well I felt asleep as well )
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Hello Claire and thank you for expressing your concerns. I realize this is a personal and often difficult issue for you, but you must accept that I have the spiritual upper hand on this one. The Bible is quite clear when it comes to STewardship and even lesbian professor Camille Paglia has written negatively about the psyches of these animals.
Cat urination does not always have to do with litterboxes. Sometimes it’s just an aggressive, territorial act. You have to know I have witnessed this firsthand. Have you? No, maybe not. I guess I’ve lived a few more years and seen a bit more of the world than you.
And the rest of your reply was simply extracts from my writing with the one word response; Source? Are you always so pushy? You know that as an experienced journalist, I have to retain some of my privileged information to myself. Also, since this article is an advisory piece, it does not need footnotes every line or two. That’s just ridiculous. Instead, I am helping young women manage their lives and plan for marriage, etc. etc. iI’s all meant to encourage and nurture!
God bless and be well,
Stephenson Billings, Investigative Journalist
Hot debate. What do you think?
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“you must accept that I have the spiritual upper hand on this one.”
Sure, you may have the “spiritual” upper hand, but I have the upper hand in reality. Last time I checked, I was a veterinary technology student, I’ve volunteered at an animal shelter since I was 16, interned at a vet’s office, I have two cats of my own, I’ve taken care of my neighbor’s cat since I was 8. So I have the upper hand when it comes to medical and scientific facts.
“Cat urination does not always have to do with litterboxes. Sometimes it’s just an aggressive, territorial act.”
I’ve witnessed spraying, territory-marking, and fearful eliminating behavior hundreds of times…ALL of them at the MSPCA in the cat adoption room and cat receiving room, ALL of them from unneutered male cats, females in heat, and feral kittens and cats. If an owned cat in a stable household is exhibiting inappropriate elimination, there is either something wrong with the litterbox, or there is something wrong physically (UTI, bladder stones, etc).
“You have to know I have witnessed this firsthand. Have you? No, maybe not. I guess I’ve lived a few more years and seen a bit more of the world than you.”
See above.
“And the rest of your reply was simply extracts from my writing with the one word response; Source?”
Well, if you had provided legitimate sources for those claims of yours, I wouldn’t have had to request them. But then again, you’re a journalism fraud, so I wouldn’t expect you to know about proper citations and references.
“You know that as an experienced journalist, I have to retain some of my privileged information to myself.”
That’s illegal. You’re legally required to provide any and all references.
“Instead, I am helping young women manage their lives and plan for marriage, etc. etc.”
Why are you under the impression that a woman’s only purpose is to get married? Especially when you yourself are not married.
“Stephenson Billings, Investigative Journalist”
Why do you even bother writing that when replying to me? You know that I don’t believe a word of it.
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Illegal? Where do you find the time to make up this stuff?
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Failing to cite a source = plagiarism
Not having a source = fabrication
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Claire, can you please cite the law that deems failure to disclose “any and all references” a crime? Does this law only apply in the USA? What are the penalties? I am worried for the future of journalism if writers must now reveal all their sources, some of which might be confidential. Thank you.
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Thank you, Robert. There is definitely a learning process happening right here!
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Found your boy lover there Bill. Couldn’t get me to your boy camp with the donkey shows?
You know pedophilia is illegal everywhere right?
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Privileged information? I think you mean “Made it up.” Another great example of Christwire’s special brand of journal-failism.
By the way, if your cat is peeing everywhere, get him fixed. If he or she is “leaving deep wounds” in your guests, clip its claws like a — dare I say — responsible owner? Some of the issues of behaviour you’ve mentioned are true, but like all articles I’ve come across here, you’ve taken everything to an unbelievable extreme. For all of those problems you’ve listed, there are ways for responsible pet owners to cope and solve.
Sincerely,
An owner of two loving, well adjusted, litter trained cats, who happens to be in a great relationship.
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“you must accept that I have the spiritual upper hand on this one.”
Bare assertion fallacy. Just saying that you have the spiritual upper hand does not mean that you actually do. The only way that your statement was true would be if you were able to prove with 100% scientific certainty that your god is real. Until then your belief is just another mythology.
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“I hate cats! They’re the reason why women don’t flock around me! I’m not an old, disgusting, pig of a man who admits to spouse abuse and supports it! It’s the cats! They’re behind everything! THEY WERE BEHIND 9/11!!!!!!”
-Stevie’s views on cats.
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Billings, why are you so against men having and loving cats? I for one, find it refreshing when men shed that stupid “macho” image and show that they have a tender, loving side, an instinct to care for the small, helpless creatures of the earth.
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MACHO MACHO MAN!
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A real journalist would not reply like that.
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Stop being so bossy. It’s a real turnoff.
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“Stop being so bossy. It’s a real turnoff.”
How was I being bossy? I was simply saying that if you want to keep claiming to be a “journalist”, you should lay off shouting such juvenile things.
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“Stop being so bossy. It’s a real turnoff.”
Are you here to get turned on?
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you’re a total creep
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Stevie, you do realize “Macho, Macho Man!” is a line from the gayest song the world has ever known? Dance along with me!
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Well I’m not familiar with that song, sorry.
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“Well I’m not familiar with that song, sorry.”
Right, you just decided to shout “MACHO MACHO MAN!” after I used the word only once…
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Oooh yeah!
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I have sat here on my couch wasting my night away for the last few hours reading over just about every insane and ridiculous article that has been posted on this website, all a consequence of a forward i received from a friend of mine on your article on “vajazzling”. At this point I sincerely don’t quite understand as to whether you are actually serious or not due to the the fact that I have never met someone with such narrow and non-fact based ideals. I am in fact a Christian, I believe in the bible and in Jesus’ death on the cross for sins, and I am also a military person myself. I have to say if you are in fact being serious with these articles then I mourn. Your articles are no better than any pornographic films on the internet, you plague the mind with ignorance and hate, the ideals that our Lord was against and gave to save humanity from. Yes there is sin in the world, and yes we should shun away from it, but you have taken simple things and turned them into radical views that make no sense and destroy any hope of helping to save lost souls. You are not a fisher of men but rather a snare that hinders the progression of the Christian faith to a lost world. Last but certainly not least, before the next article you write I want you to go to a national cemetary wherever an American soldier is buried, place a flower on his or her grave and thank that soldier for their sacrifice to allow you to have this wonderful thing we call free specch. Yet again i must say i truly hope this site is a joke and these articles aren’t serious, but if they are I hope you see that there are errors to your ways. Thank You, God Bless.
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“So beware, for the time is coming, says the LORD, when this place will no longer be called Topheth or the valley of the son of Hinnom, but the Valley of Slaughter. For I will upset the battle plans of Judah and Jerusalem and let invading armies slaughter them. The enemy will leave the dead bodies as food for the vultures and wild animals. I will wipe Jerusalem from the face of the earth, making it a monument to their stupidity. All who pass by will be appalled and will gasp at the destruction they see there. I will see to it that your enemies lay siege to the city until all the food is gone. Then those trapped inside will have to eat their own sons and daughters and friends. They will be driven to utter despair.’” –Jeremiah 19:6-9.
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“So beware, for the time is coming, says the LORD, when this place will no longer be called Topheth or the valley of the son of Hinnom, but the Valley of Slaughter. For I will upset the battle plans of Judah and Jerusalem and let invading armies slaughter them. The enemy will leave the dead bodies as food for the vultures and wild animals. I will wipe Jerusalem from the face of the earth, making it a monument to their stupidity. All who pass by will be appalled and will gasp at the destruction they see there. I will see to it that your enemies lay siege to the city until all the food is gone. Then those trapped inside will have to eat their own sons and daughters and friends. They will be driven to utter despair.’” –Jeremiah 19:6-9.”
Wow, that’s just so inspiring… so much love, so much brotherhood, so much forgiveness, that quote really makes me want to find out more about gettin’ all Christified. You really should be in sales, Billings, your natural aptitude and flair for it really shine through! Not sure what any of that has to do with cats, it sounds more like the lyrics to some death metal song.
Just so you know, heaven actually looks like this:
http://caboodleranch.com/
Mreow, motherfucker.
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It’s essential that youths are told the Bible isn’t all peace, love and happiness. There is much death and destruction in the Good Book and that’s a good thing because there is much death and destruction in our world today and we need to understand it and learn how to deal with it, especially when it comes to the Will of God.
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so we are simply better than god. deal with it.
when it all comes down to it if the god you follow really exists he’s basicly acting like a 2 year old who wants attention and if he can’t be the center of everyones attention he’ll start throwing food at random people untill he get’s it.
we’ll i’m better than that.i belive that you do not have to murder people because they are difrent and i belive that simply forceing people to asimilate to your style of life is the most argoant and hateful thing you can ever do.
i herby decalre me and everyone else here who doesn’t agree with billings better than god. suck on that you pedophile gay clown.
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“Unlike dogs, they contribute almost nothing in terms of service. They willfully damage their surrounding environments, tearing papers to shreds and urinating everywhere.”
OR, like the rest of the normal world, you could keep the cats, a SEMI-domesticated specie, outside were they
a) Get rid of the rats and
b) Don’t destroy everything.
Also, if you knew ANYTHING about cats, then you would know that cats are very affectionate animals when they learn you. They are just very cautious while they don’t really know you.
All my 3 cats are, actually, so affectionate that I had to train them to give them to understand when I am not in the mood of hugging them (which is not very often).
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I happen to be an expert on felines and have written several investigative articles on the subject. Did you know that a cats have been described as “small scale ecological disasters” in the environments they prowl and live? Their feral populations have destroyed local wildlife and are now akin to rodents in many towns and cities.
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“I happen to be an expert on felines”
Proof?
“Did you know that a cats have been described as “small scale ecological disasters” in the environments they prowl and live? Their feral populations have destroyed local wildlife and are now akin to rodents in many towns and cities.”
So? You’re fat, ugly, unloved, and spread nothing but hate.
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Okeeeeey….source?
Oh, and the bible/answers in genesis don’t count. I actually require serious sources. HECK, not even scientific ones, just link to wikipedia or something.
Also, my cats mainly kill (and frequently so) 1)rats 2)grasshoppers. Last time I checked they were both pests….?
I have seen them only once killing a bird. And even if they did more frequently, it would not be even close to a “disaster”.
But talk is cheap, show me the source. I am genuily curious
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH…..”cat expert” you are hysterical!!!!
you are souless, evil, and you are polluting lives with this trash
And do you know what “is a battle every day”???!!
living with the thought that someone like you exists
I am an atheist, but I hope that god and the devil are real, so you can burn in hell.
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Are you freaking kidding me? Every time I see an article on the website, I think it’s GOT to be satire.
Then I remember you people are Christians.
I have the most lovable cat in the world. She sleeps on my pillows and loves to snuggle with me- oh, AND my boyfriend.
He loves cats too. And in case you’re wondering, he’s not gay.
I hate dogs. They drool. They STINK. And most of all, they’re STUPID.
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Dogs learn, cats do not.
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“Dogs learn, cats do not.”
Look, I love dogs as much as the next person, but they’re little suckers when it comes to rewards. They’ll do anything for that tasty treat. Cats, on the other hand, are smart. They say to themselves, “I know what you want me to do, but I’d rather retain my dignity than get that little morsel you have in your hand. Ciao.”
That being said many cats are willing to perform tasks that they owner asks of them. Cats can walk on leashes (my cat does), can be clicker-trained, can sit on command, can come on command, etc. I’ve worked first-hand with literally hundreds of felines, from all backgrounds, all walks of life, in shelter settings, domestic settings, animal control settings, veterinary settings, and school settings, so if either of us can claim to be an “expert” on felines, it’s me. Suck on that.
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Proof that you are no “expert on felines”. If you’re an expert in anything it’s pushing peoples buttons.
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“As cat-owning women grow out of their period of boisterous career pursuits”
You, sir, are nothing short of a sexist, arrogant, pig. You are no representation of a Christian, and, according to your faith, you are full of sin and will be burning in hell when you die.
“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Galatians 3:28)
There’s you some back-up. I can give you more if you wish. I think you need to read the Bible again. You seemed to have missed quite a bit of it. Such as “all sins are equal,” for instance.
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“For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.” –I Corinthians 11:8-9.
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That whole “woman came from man” thing is bullshit. You men are just too fucking petty to accept the fact that all life started from woman.
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Proof?
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Where’s YOUR proof that the bible is fact? Oh, that’s right, I forgot that religious people don’t require proof, they simply follow blindly like sheep.
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Look at a fucking vagina, I’m sure that you’ll see a baby pop out of it rather than a penis.
There’s also the fact that while in the womb, everyone is defined as a female until the chromosomes set in. Look at your dick and take a look at the underside, starting from the hole; that line that goes down from the head to the shaft used to be a vagina until the chromosomes settled and the fetus started developing a penis.
Then there’s the fact that only women have two X chromosomes, while men have one X and one Y. That supports the fact above this one, and helps to confirm that women are essentially the beginning of life.
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That was really crude, even for you.
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“Leave no hole unviolated”.-Stephanson Billings.
No crudeness there, no sir.
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Well, there you go. You’re simply proving that the bible is contradictory of itself. How about you stop making ridiculous attempts at journalism and start doing some serious self analysis. You’re going to die alone.
Like the comedian said, you started as a female and that leads me to believe men are actually of women.
You’re just like every hypocritical Christian, picking and choosing the parts of the bible you’ll follow based on what you want to do, not what God supposedly wants for you.
Personally, I believe since God is supposed to be existing in your spirit, that you should follow what your spirit tells you instead of what a bunch of over zealous old men say to do. That offensive scripture sounds a lot more like it was written by a man than by a unconditionally loving God. (the same unconditionally loving god who supposedly eternally tortures his children for doing things instinct tells him to do.)
I mean the bible has been edited over and over and man did the editing and tons of books were thrown out. Who were these men to decide what came from devine inspiration or not?
Regardless, if there is a hell you’ve definitely got a special spot.
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Autumn, I wish you wouldn’t be so pissy, you might actually learn something here.
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Billings, the only thing anyone is EVER going to learn at Christwire is that it’s one of the few places left in the world where it’s acceptable (and SO SO fun!) to taunt, bait, and jeer at a fat, aging, bald, socially retarded, sexually frustrated, closeted (and probably predatory) homosexual, paranoid, pompous, compulsively dishonest, irresponsible, thoroughly fuckin’ batshit crazy hillbilly. And WE LOVE YOU FOR IT!
Oh… wait. No we don’t.
You suck.
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1 Corinthians 10-12 (The Message Translation)
“Don’t, by the way, read too much into the differences here between men and women. Neither man nor woman can go it alone or claim priority. Man was created first, as a beautiful shining reflection of God—that is true. But the head on a woman’s body clearly outshines in beauty the head of her “head,” her husband. The first woman came from man, true—but ever since then, every man comes from a woman! And since virtually everything comes from God anyway, let’s quit going through these “who’s first” routines.”
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This cracked me up. Not because it was literally bullshit, but because of the reactions of the people taking such a satire like article to heart.
As a wildlife biologist, I can sit back and laugh at this knowing it is completely fact-less, but relish the consequences that come from some of the people reading it.
The person talking about the genetics is correct. All children from conception until sexual differentiation are in fact, Female. That means every male born is in fact a female until a certain point in the development cycle.
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Claire is my favorite. I haven’t figured out if she’s in on it or just really dense, but I hope she’s just dense because it’s much funnier that way.
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Please don’t attack Claire. She is my friend and I will defend her to my dying day, though she is often wrong on things I cherish her company and her quick wit.
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“Please don’t attack Claire.”
Please don’t defend me.
“She is my friend”
No, I am not your friend, you sick old man. How many times do I have to tell you that I hate you with every fiber of my being?
“I will defend her to my dying day”
You disgust me.
“I cherish her company and her quick wit.”
Could you make up your mind, please? One day you’re calling me a black leather-wearing freak who kicks old men, the next you’re saying that you “cherish” my company (?) and that I’m smart. Make up your fucking mind, you demented old pervert!
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My money’s on Billings going with the black leather-wearing freak who kicks old men.
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Wait? You’re a black leather-wearing freak? Hell’s yeah! When are we going to hook up?
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Jacky, fuck you for making me laugh my overpriced IPA out my nose.
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LMAO!!! Let’s not get angry over such an idiotic, and poorly written article. The writer is clearly ignorant as he knows not a thing about women or cats. Do not reward such an ignorant mind with anger; just laugh at his stupidity and remember he lacks any sort of logic. GOD must be laughing as GOD realizes he accidentally created this man with a jackass’s brain. Thought I’ve seen it all until now….hahahahahaha! Thanks for making me laugh today!
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Are you a writer, Lisa? Please send along a link to your work so we can all assess how talented this expert who claims my work is “poorly written” really is. Thanks so much!
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She never claimed to be a writer. She doesn’t claim to be a “credentialed Investigative Journalist”, either. Maybe she’s the kind of person that can get along perfectly well without LYING. Maybe you could learn from her example, LIAR.
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Im sorry, was I mistaken for having read this piece as a satire? Because most of the people on here are ready to rip the author’s dick off, like he is actually out protesting owning cats.
I thought this was funny, and pretty well written. I will even use it to poke fun at my roomate because he is going to turn into a recluse solely because he owns a cat, not that its factual or anyone in their right mind would believe it.
well I guess people must believe its an actual argument because they are arguing it, maybe they have BIF or something.
anyways, funny piece.
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Parents, families and even teens visit this website. Could you please not use foul language? It lowers us all.
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6
Sounds like someone wants their dick ripped off! Who’s ready to get their dick ripped off?
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And I’m not dicking around! I have a degree in dick technology!
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1
Aw, what the shit?!? Fun ruiner!
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Their “foul language” is not innapropriate,and what are the most “foul” things here, are your toxic words
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My first time on the site, I, a servant to three beautiful cats, naturally gravitated to this article. I think you wrote a wonderful, well-written piece of SATIRE. I laughed at some crazy, cat-owning attributes, and I grimaced as I saw myself in other attributes. However, the comments were even more entertaining. Are some of you folks truly this gullible as to not see the humor of the article? This is a truly frightening thought; not everything in print is the truth. Yes, I am a Christian. I am saved by the blood Christ shed for our sins, and the mercy of the one, true God. God bless you, and go in peace, people.
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Apparently nobody who read this article gets satire.
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This is one of the weirdest things I’ve ever seen on the internet. Even two girls and one cup is not as strange as this man’s bitter musings on his ex-girlfriends’ housecats.
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Absolutely hilarious! Terrific article. I absolutely adore my big, majestic, funny, soft, cuddly, furry bundle of love, teeth and claws. As, was it Leonardo da Vinci said, “even the smallest feline is a masterpiece”. However, if he urinated anywhere other than inside his catbox, I might not feel quite the same. I do still shower, once a week at least, so knew not to take any slurs against my beloved seriously!
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So is this a rationalization as to why his girlfriend left him? Seriously, this is some thought out nonsense. Also, the cats in the article sound horribly neglected. Cats don’t pee everywhere and tear objects unless the owner is negligent, to which pee in the bed is their own fault for locking a cat inside and not tending to nature. I house that smells of cat pee is a sure sign that one ignores the obvious.
After reading about torture/antimasturbation tools and the “soulless eyes” of cats on this site, I can conclude that the author has brain washed himself. My guess is a death consumed by the fear of Satan, and an even greater fear for God. Why has Christianity ravaged so many?
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” I love goats.
— 2 days ago by S.Billings ”
Goat fucker..
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He still hasn’t answered the question… is this satire? is it comedy? cause if ts it’s brilliant! It it’s not, well… I think it’s kind of funny too haha, it’s not like these people will “accomplish” ahything with this site (if indeed it’s not satire).
But, please answer directly! Is this satire or not? Is this site for real?? I’m confused!
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I’m sorry but this question irritates me. Yes, this rumor has been around before and the New York Times even got pranked by some kids in California. Christwire published an article denouncing all this, and denouncing the satire-style writing on other obnoxious websites. No, this is not satire but an honest reflection of my studied analysis of this problem.
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LOL!!!
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You are a nutcase Stephenson. Enjoy hell, Satan is waiting for you with open arms asshole.
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i went to your facebook! couldn’t help but notice that you’re single. do you have a cat???
dying to know.
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Of course I do not own a cat. What an offensive question.
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I’m extremely offended! I fully belive in God the creator and I have trouble believing that he would create a creature that would be considered “sub-par”. I feel like you’re insulting the Creator himself by condemning one of his very own creations! That’s like walking into an art gallery with the artist and saying bad things about their work.
My advice to you and to anyone who agrees with this article: pull your head out off your ass!!
Not everyone has to LOVE cats, but cats should be respected as a great creation.
Oh, and by the way, the Egyptians have been using cats for thousands of years not only as loving companions but as hunting partners and mousers. Check your facts!
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They catch mice, that’s why God gave them to us.
Don’t become a mirror image of the Mohammedans, because they hate dogs.
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Dude man REALLY hates cats!! LMFAO. I’m pretty sure…no, wait…I am ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that my owning a cat is not “unchristian.” Oscar has never destroyed anything, never peed (or pooped!) anywhere but his litterbox, and has never run a man out of my life. In fact, my husband AND my son love him dearly.
My DOGS, on the other hand – one is well trained but whiney and needy as hell, which is MOST obnoxious considering I have a 2 year old, and the other one pees EVERYWHERE and will poop in the entryway even if he’s been outside for hours. It’s like they have some devious plan to drive me to throw myself off a bridge. If I had to eliminate my immediate “family” stressors, I assure you – the cat would be the LAST to go!!
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I am going to go out and get a cat that video was so cute
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trolled. all of you.
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Wow that Bill guy is a wack o! :-0
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Wow. This is the dumbest article I have ever read.
Sad and stupid.
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Is this the onion?
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As a practicing Christian, and a cat owner, I find the premise of this entire article offensive. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
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nice try dumb ass
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I wish I would have known about this article sooner. My friend forwarded it to me for amusement. The author’s ignorance regarding cats is astonishing considering cats are the primary focus of the article.
He offers no credible sources to back up his claims. As a writer he is entitled to his opinions, it does not mean I as the reader has to agree with them.
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Of all the satirical pieces on this deliciously-twisted site dogged by the self-indignant huffings and puffings of those tragically devoid of a sense of humour, the article making fun of cat people has to be the shrillest and most strident.
Correlation? I think so…
Signed: a highly social cat person (an oxymoron, I know)
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This article is so sad. You call yourself “Chritians” ????? God, Jesus and all the saints of the Earth have always loved animals , includindg cats. How can you call yourself Christians and tell people not to own or tend to cats or they may be single for the rest of their lives? I have found homes and rescued countless abused, neglected and homeless animals over the years and I have learned unconditional love from them just as you say you get from God. Adopt a shelter cat one day and maybe you might become a better person . God Bless
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The author’s descriptions of cat behavior are completely off base. This person obviously hates and knows absolutely nothing about cats or their behavior besides maybe a few chance encounters when they expected negative behavior and a few bad jokes they’ve heard about cats. I don’t think God has ever said that you should put the quality of your sheets and mattress over the welfare of a living creature. This smacks of being far too tied to material things. I seriously doubt when God allowed me to find an abandoned kitten in my backyard that my lesson was to let it die alone and cold.
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Magnificent beat ! I would like to apprentice while you amend your site, how could i subscribe for a blog website? The account helped me a acceptable deal. I had been tiny bit acquainted of this your broadcast provided bright clear idea
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[...] http://christwire.org/2010/10/are-your-cats-keeping-you-single/ [...]
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I laughed and laughed and laughed. Days later, I was still laughing. Oh, my sides!
When I arrived on this page I was initially amused by this website’s tag line about an “unsaved world.” This struck me as ridiculous (because, as a nice little atheist, I know there is nothing to be saved from) until I read this article and realized that I was wrong! At least, that is, about this one poor dateless dude that has obviously not been saved and needs saving!
Someone rescue this poor soul from his hellish feline nightmare! We need Psychiatrist Man to fly in and save the day using his twin powers of psychotropics and Claritin Redi-tabs!
Well Mister, you’ve been saved now, because I’m adding this hilarious page to my favorites, thereby saving it, and you, forever, or at least until my Dell dies.
Do dead Dells go to heaven?
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Personal attacks are not welcome on this web page. If you cannot debate like a mature adult, I really see no point in responding.
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By the way, you weren’t Time Magazine’s Person of the Year in 2006. Does honesty matter to you, or are you just that out of touch with reality?
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I’m sorry you have had nothing but bad experiences with cats. Not the species’ fault. Seriously. God created them, remember? They were not created as “soulless creatures” who only endeavour to do all they can to torture you.
Also? The very fact that this website has “Praise” or “Condemn” as the emotion markers for all comments is unbelievable and appalling. It is not loving. With those right there, you are asking someone to either build someone up (if you merely agree with them), or to literally CONDEMN them if they merely DISagree.
con·demn [kuhn-dem]
verb (used with object)
1. to express an unfavorable or adverse judgment on; indicate strong disapproval of; censure.
2. to pronounce to be guilty; sentence to punishment: ‘to condemn a murderer to life imprisonment.’
3. to give grounds or reason for convicting or censuring
(A mere disagreeing opinion can only then be expressed as an unfavorable or adverse judgment. Or a pronouncement of doing something wrong (guilty). Source? DICTIONARY.COM. AKA: Not my own blog.).
Other sources on condemnation: (a source you may have used before.)
For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. John 3:17, NIV.
Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Luke 6:37 NIV.
This latter verse is a message that most people are unaware of, and yet a tenant of my own faith that I strongly cling to, and find incredibly important. I am not saying that you or the website administrators are unaware of this message, but you clearly disregard it, if you pose the question “do you condemn this person or not?” after EVERY SINGLE COMMENT. How are we to present Christianity as a loving, forgiving way of life? I would argue this is a key message that would reach a lot of people who are unaware that we are instructed NOT to judge. (And notice it does not say “try not to judge, it’s okay sometimes.” We are NOT to judge. Ever.) Unfortunately, many Christians do not live this way, and instead present a front that says “you’re wrong. Nothing else matters, you are wrong, and going to Hell.” That is not loving, that is not welcoming, and that will send many, many, COUNTLESS people running in the opposite direction, and the hardening of hearts toward Christianity. How can you allow this on a website that literally preaches the Word of God? It is mind-boggling.
What else is mind-boggling is all the time I have wasted losing my mind that these articles exist, and that the author claims they are valid journalism, let alone unquestionable. “I am just speaking facts.” By its very nature, the Internet allows anything to be created on it. So, there are absolutely no standards, other than requiring an Internet connection. And, this is why all the stuff you find offensive is available to everyone. And, this is why we are exposed to your ‘content’. It is a blank slate, which unfortunately, gets filled with countless baseless accusations, postulations, and theories that become fact when repeated to oneself too much, like this article.
As someone else who relatively lives alone, I know how a mind works when there is not that many healthy outlets to dialogue and refine opinions, by learning and HEARING (read: actually listening to and consider accepting) other people’s opinions. And, as someone who lives relatively alone, I relish the idea of owning a cat for COMPANY. Unfortunately, it is not an option for me. But I’m sure that all cat owners always launch into a spiral of bestiality, uncleanliness, and endless ruined relationships, so I should consider myself lucky. (That was sarcasm. To be clear.) Again, I’m sorry that all cats you have ever met have had it in for you. Perhaps you’re merely unlucky, or perhaps you never present something in your manner that tells the cat to like you. If you actually try, you can get most pets you meet to respond to you, by speaking warmly, moving slowly as to not spook them, and initiating pleasant physical contact. But you have to not loathe the animal on principal in order to do those things.
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I am a investigative journalist with years of experience and the strong faith of my God guiding me. I believe that you are attempting to slither away from your responsibilities by claiming that the Bible asks us to turn a blind eye to the sins of society. Sure, “Judge not” is not meant to give the pedophiles and perverts of this world a free pass. Could you imagine if America’s jails were emptied because of your outrageously liberal interpretation of the Good Book? How do your “everything goes” ideas square with 2 Timothy 4:2-4?
“Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.”
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As far as cats spreading disease, I think you’ll find quite a few other animals that do that too. (And, as other people have pointed out, humans spread disease as well. Much, MUCH more so than cats.) Birds and rats fall into this category, and they happen to be pets occasionally too! Turtles, as well. (As a kid, I was always told to wash my hands after playing with my pet turtle, as he could make me sick.) What about dogs, too? We should stop owning any pet at all, because anything that makes us feel good that isn’t a relationship with a human will automatically translate into slovenliness and other unladylike or not male-like behaviours, ones that are horribly unattractive and doom us for life.
“They never leave the home and girls, so anxious for a relationship in which they are not readily cast aside, appreciate the unconditional devotion of a pet.”
So why are cats the only thing that are abhorrent? I guess not enough turtles have bitten your toes to make you hate them yet. Maybe if you were someone else mauled by a dog, you’d have a hard time considering them acceptable pets, ever, for anyone, no matter what size dog they are.
“But can a cat truly substitute for the rightful, loving bonds that a man provides?”
Really?! You would be very hard-pressed to find a girl anywhere who believes that a cat is a good enough, complete substitute for another human being. Sure, she may be pissed at the boyfriend she just broke up with and hate men for a little while, but having a little furry companion is not going to confuse her simple little mind into thinking she never needs a close human relationship again. This is an absolutely ludicrous idea.
“Felines appear reliable and easy to maintain.” – Most actually are. ‘easy to maintain’ doesn’t translate to zero work, and most people actually understand that. But in comparison to dogs who require daily walks and daily feedings, cats happen to actually BE easier to maintain. Maybe stinkier, but maybe not! (Guinea pigs, anyone?) You can actually leave them at home for a couple days and they’ll be fine. Some might say that is sophistication, not “demanding much from their owners and creating an atmosphere of “animal kingdom” dominance on the home front.”
I can’t even believe that you would call cat ownership something to “give yourself over to.” It is not something you surrender yourself and your beliefs to.
“Women often seem surprised that men do not return for other visits, but little do they know of the true battle that was secretly waged in their very homes.”
Us poor women are just pawns to the evil cats, who do nothing but “scheme,” “intentionally plan to harass the man.” Our will and intelligence just disappears when we see fur. And seriously, cats who plan, no, SCHEME only to harass the man?! What if one of ‘those’ men, who had “given [himself] over to cat ownership” (forced into an elderly style of living, freelance work – because they have an independent cat) – finds it odd that women don’t like them? Is he to blame it on the cat?! If someone is uninterested in continuing the relationship it has almost nothing to do with the pet, and mostly everything to do with the person.
And so, when we women finally somehow figure out these cats’ evil plans, we leave the house all the time, and our ONLY OPTION to do next is to drink and lose ourselves to debauchery. I cannot believe you linked cat ownership to this behaviour AT ALL. You basically say the debauchery, clubbing, alcohol, sex is BECAUSE of the cat, and then you step down and ‘clarify’ that owning a cat is merely an “aggravating factor.” If you only mean to present this as ONE factor of MANY, maybe write it like that. I know a load of people who do not own a cat and do all those things. And I know a load of people who DO own a cat, and do none of those things.
“As cat-owning women grow out of their period of boisterous career pursuits, they begin to mimic their pet’s solitary lifestyle.”
We’ll skip over the blatant and offensive misogyny of that statement, and point out the lack of logic. Not three paragraphs before, you were saying that the women avoided the cats, “[finding] themselves spending more and more time away from their cats in their mid to late 20s.” Now, we’re mimicking them? But how can you do that if you don’t want to be around them? Or do we grow out of that too? Give ourselves over to cat ownership all over again? I forgot, the complex brains and misguided ambition of “certain types of women” “[drives] them to a dangerous mix of cities, cats and promiscuity.”
This would actually make more sense if you hated all pets, and didn’t understand owning any animal. (Surprisingly, as that would be so weird in itself.) But the blatant selection of cats (species-ism? Cattism?) clearly indicates a personal bias. In journalism, you are supposed to attempt to find a balanced, close-to-unbiased voice for your article, that still states a strong case. There was absolutely no compensating for personal bias in this article (or the other one I read. Time out of my own life and sleep, to read bias and ignorance passed off and clung to as truth and fact.). It’s one thing to hate cats, and be a dog person. My dad had a book called “101 things to do with a dead cat”. (which was all in humour of course, but still.) He didn’t even have any sort of negative feelings towards cats, and probably wouldn’t consider himself that much of a “dog” person vs “cat” person; he just thought it was funny. But it’s quite another to outlaw ALL cats as filthy, dirty, scheming, soulless creatures hiding beneath deceptive cuteness and fur. And yet another thing further, to link owning these creations of God to falling into a self-destructive pattern of no hygiene, alcohol/clubbing, sex, and piles upon piles of ruined relationships. (And elderly living, “homebound and introverted” freelancing work from home, confused basic masculine instincts. And male smoking. And wearing slippers at 3pm. Heaven forbid we wear slippers in the afternoon.) You basically state that a man owning a cat will BECOME A CAT. Or at least cat-like. And gay.
You even degenerate mid-paragraph at the very end from talking about what happens when you have a demon cat (or neglected, untreated, unchecked cat) in the objective second person “you-in-general”, to actually raging directly to a specific cat owner, who chose their cat over marriage to “a man”. No idea who that may be. Perhaps, if you actually wanted to write an article hating your ex-wife for divorcing you because you hated her cat, don’t title it “Is Your Cat Keeping You Single?” Because your unequivocal answer to that question is a blaring, goodbye-eardrums “YES”! Don’t pose as if it is some article postulating over how you could be single longer/fall into a rut because you have a cat, directly speaking to those who have cats, then proceed to blame those cats for ridiculous things, and end with an offensive rant that directly insults the proverbial cat-owning reader! “You cat owners are some of the most spiteful people on the planet, selfish souls who know nothing of human passion and devotion, people who deny the great responsibilities that our Lord demands of us, the beauty of love and the rewards of marriage forever beyond your comprehension.” They just came to read an article expecting something along the lines of “here’s some things you may not think of that having a cat allows you to fall into, that contribute to being single.” They came expecting logic, advice, and walk run away insulted, offended, hurt, and angry. That’s what a Christian website should inspire in people. Thank you so much for a stupid, cat-raging article for no reason.
I spent a lot of time considering what you have written, and responding accordingly. I also did this with as civil a tongue as I could manage, and no cursing. I hope you were able to make it to the end, and I urge you to hear what I am saying. I am not saying this to be impertinent or immature, I sincerely believe this article and others and your manner of writing is severely flawed, if not completely. I hope that because I spent so much time responding, that you have read it all to the end.
Please, in the future, endeavour to be more accepting of other viewpoints, less dismissive of women as silly creatures, and more respectful to the profession of writing and journalism (which may mean stopping completely. Or at least until you can learn how to be civil and not accuse a large portion/nearly all of your target audience as spiteful, selfish human beings).
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[img]http://pull.imgfave.netdna-cdn.com/image_cache/1305996466953622.png[/img]
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The Bible is good for lining my cat’s litter box and that’s pretty much it.
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Is this website for real or is this a joke? If it is real I feel bad for all the bible bangers that believe the drivel and crap that is written on here. Cats are great. I have two of them and a dog, and guess what I’m not gay. I’m a woman who has been in a normal relationship with a man who also loves our cats. Oh and we both have good jobs, we shower and maintain our appearance and health. Imagine that!?! And cats don’t urinate all over the house or destroy anything. The cats use a litterbox, they are neutered and declawed. I also let them sleep in my bed, walk on the countertops and do whatever they want. Uh-oh now I’m probably going to hell huh? Baaawaaahhh!!!
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BTW my cat says Fah-Q
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