October is the cruelest month for Christians in America. The summer is over, school semesters are underway and we look forward to the special joys of Thanksgiving and Christmas. The one tragic distraction in the middle of all that cheer is the institutionalized celebration of a pagan festival. Many will throw themselves wholeheartedly into this barbaric affair, spending hours making effeminate costumes, stocking up on overpriced sweets and decorating their homes with pentagrams and skeletons. Why do so many Christians willfully engage in this vile, hedonistic ritual? Of course, I’m talking about Halloween.
Deuteronomy 18:10-11 warns us, “Let no one be found among you who sacrifices his son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead.”
As this year’s tyranny of October 31st approaches, it should come as no surprise that young people across the nation are eagerly planning to dress up as one of the most polymorphously perverse celebrities around: Lady Gaga. Never heard of Lady Gaga? She’s a crude and talentless musician who somehow fell into the hands of a few millionaire marketers early in her unimpressive career. Sparing no expense, they reinvented this homely child as a studio-synthesized train wreck of garish makeup, bad decisions and 80s fashions piled so high that you wouldn’t believe there is a human being hidden within. Her music is painfully obtuse. It wreaks havoc on the brains of the innocent, turning the most simple to violence and vulgarity. Her videos, embedded on the blogs and Myspace pages of almost every American teen, show ladies in tight rubber Luftwaffe uniforms writhing in prison cells while men rub their rank, engorged speedos together in the background. And then the perversion gets worse. She is, quite simply, reprehensible.
For those of us who believe in the greatness of the United States of America, this is a disgrace. Is there any clearer sign that our Christian faith is being attacked on our very own soil? “Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness,” Ephesians tells us, “but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret.” How, then, can we let this Lady Gaga into our children’s bedrooms late at night? Yes, via the Youtube videos and Facebook, she sneaks into bed with your kids, slipping beneath their silky sheets as the moon rises and common sense descends. Our young people will grab onto any excuse for a rancid release! Her ambiguity confuses and delights. She is the principal reason the youth of America no longer understand gender roles. Do our boys know about strength and wisdom? Do our girls understand morality? No, they’d rather gather in the dank caverns of her sexualized unisex identity, trading spit like they trade clothes, unsure who the man is and who the woman is and how the act gets done but get done it does! And it gets done many times over! Thanks to various Obama Administration initiatives and the growing power of the liberal elite, public schools today teach every obscure characteristic of the world’s most radical sex acts, things that would be unimaginable to any loving parent– bondage gear, bodily secretions, dungeon clamps, prison shower roleplay, multiethnic orgies, lives destroyed, futures sacrficed for a moment of vain discharge…
“I charge thee therefore before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, who shall judge the quick and the dead at his appearing and his kingdom; Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long suffering and doctrine. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.” –2 Timothy 4:1-4
Maybe our sins are too great. Maybe America is being punished. Our children will certainly suffer. Any parent that allows a girl or boy to dress like this monster Gaga is gambling away a precious, beautiful soul. And any liberated teen or 20-something who believes this is exciting is just tempting a dire fate. Do you (yes you, young lady, with your hay bale hair extensions!) truly know what you’re doing? What do you think all that serene youthful flesh you dare expose in your filthy costume says about you? The unclasped skirt, the torn leggings, the dangerously high heels… Is this what you want to be when you grow up? A drugged-out artist with horror-show eyeliner and black fingernails to claw the damp inner thighs of aroused college boys in bathroom stalls? Stomping into the night afterward, once his drippings dry on your ankle and your nasal passages have been plugged full of the latest street drug?
And you boys! You sad, sad, boys! How can Lady Gaga be your idol in the mirror? Was your childhood so terrible that you must punish your parents like this? What refuge is there in those lustrous wigs, the viciously black stilettos, the pantyhose that crushes your manhood into a potato salad of denial? Please do not become the mouthy harlot that tricks drunken men into alleyways! Why must you hate? Why must you punish the very nobility of masculinity? How can you destroy the beauty of man– muscles that shine wet after a day of honest labor, the athlete in a crisp uniform dominating his foes on the field, the brimming grin of confidence that says, “I am a man and I love it!” The rise and the glory, the victory and the sweat! I pray for you, we all pray for you, we all pray and pray and hope that somehow you escape the worst of these needs and desires. There is always hope! Hope!
The genuine dangers here are shocking and immense. One is normally hesitant to be so graphic when delving into sin, but parents and young people truly need to be made aware. When Halloween arrives, the plague of Satan is awakened in spirits everywhere. He stalks our streets, looking for the slightest weakness. And we all know that our children can be very weak when tempted with easy pleasure. After all, what is this pagan ritual ultimately? It’s an excuse for cross-dressing and sexual promiscuity. It’s the pedophile’s fantasy scenario of being allowed to approach any child with warm hugs and candy. The criminally demented cherish it as a time when apples are stuffed with razor blades or chocolate bars drugged with chloral hydrate. For those of us who regularly patrol our neighborhoods, it is the most gripping night we will encounter. What could be more gut-wrenching than to stand silently by as children, high on sugar and indulgence, baring flesh in their salacious costumes, explore the vibrant shadows of Halloween steps away from our very doors and bulkheads, unaware of what lurks directly behind them?