History of The Beatles Haircuts: Hairstyles Directly Correlates Approximation of Drug Use
The Beatles started off as a pure and innocent band, whose singers brought excitement to the world of music.
Sadly, like all rock bands, the Beatles’ constant reference to Satan and his vices (e.g., drug use, atheism, fornication, communism) lead each and every Beatle to a dark place.
What started off as clean cut and innocent became mangy and depraved.
The lead singer of the band, John Lennon, grew up in a foster home and had strong work ethic. When debuting with the Beatles, the boy looked proper. The deeper he got into writing songs and doing back room deals with Satan, however, Lennon fell to a dark place with drugs such as acid cocaine and even worse, magic marijuana (‘magic mint’ in today’s hedge shops).
Lennon went on to became an atheist and communist, for which he was assassinated because he tried to help a Chinese transgender, Yoko Ono, steal nuclear secrets from America.
Next, there was Ringo Star, the pounding drummer. In the cadence of every beat he struck, you could hear the heartbeat of Satan himself.
It is no surprise that Ringo was made to suffer and even though he started off as a great concerto singer, his voice was stripped and even in a song he asked everyone ‘What they would do if he sang out of tune’. Their reply, do drugs. And that they did and Ringo died from marijuana related causes later in life.
George Harrison tried to act like he was clean and hide behind his base guitar, but it was no secret less that his hands were just as dirty as the rest.
Then we get to the grandmaster of the Beatles, “Sir” Paul McCartney. The one remaining Beatle. The man who cheated on his wife and is now somehow British royalty and a billionaire from just writing a few songs. Clearly a deal with Satan was struck and forged under the influence of who knows what drugs.
There is a distinct pattern to the Beatles and their main failing point: drugs. You can tell how many drugs they consumed since their innocent start by the levels of slovenliness and unkempt hair.
You can tell Satan really got a hold of them in 1967, when they all decided to grow out the quintessential pornographer mustache. Mustachioed in sin, the Beatles really did hit their lowest points starting that year and from then on out, in their music you can always hear the faint sound of Satan laughing at his ignorant minions.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Bren Langford
Born and raised in SoCal, Bren Langford is currently a student, lifeguard and lifestyle editor for ChristWire Campus Weekly.
5:14 pm
Soooooo… your hair is a sign of drug use then, too, you hippy faggot. GET OUT A MAH COUNTRY SMART ALACK (or whatever the fuck abes signature thing says).
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8:06 pm
I thought it was “Follow me on the twitters!”
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8:08 pm
By the way, Ringo hasn’t died yet.
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7:35 pm
troll harder, faggot.
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7:39 pm
troll harder, faggott.
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7:39 pm
troll harder, faggottt.
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10:16 pm
Oh my.
You are quite the hypocrite aren’t you, deary?
Look at YOUR hair!
You’ve got dreadlocks.
Wasn’t how hippies were a curse upon America just on this website?
Hmmm… interesting indeed.
And um, Ringo isn’t dead yet.
It’s GEORGE that’s dead, hun.
He’s the one that died from lung cancer because he smoked. Yeah, he was a chain smoker, but whatever.
And I bet the only factual evidence behind the fact that ‘John Lennon was a drug user’ was their song ‘I Am the Walrus’
That’s a common misconception, I’m afraid to report.
He wrote it because his old English teacher began to use Beatles songs when he would pick apart things. You know, like you did in high school to ‘find the hidden meanings’ so John wrote a song called ‘I am the Walrus’ simply to make it so it was absolutely indecipherable.
That is all.
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6:16 pm
This made for some good comedy. Some advice for the author: if you’re gonna talk trash about someone (which I’m sure the Bible tells you to do)you might want to make sure you have all of your facts straight. Ringo Starr is still alive, George’s main instrument was the guitar not the base(which is actually spelled bass)and Sir Paul never cheated on his wife. Seems to me that the only person you really seem to know about is satan! Nice hair by the way
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12:27 am
Just instructing the ignorant over here!
Burn in hell cuntwad.
When I wanted to end my life the first time, I turned to god. I asked him ‘why me?’ Well he never answered, and then came the Beatles. They saved my life, and I actually love them more than anything in the world. More than my mother or father or best friend. I owe them my soul.
Yes, they did a shit ton of drugs, and they were fucking amazing at it, but if you have done any research, you would have realized that in their start in hamburg, they had never ending shows, and as a result, they took multitudes of drugs to keep them awake. And they had sex. Lots and lots of it.
This article was particularly hard to read for me. I have seen many beatle bashers in my day, and my sport is proving them wrong. And please PLEASE note that Ringo is not dead. It fucks me over when I hear that.
Also, according to your little chart, you would be in 1978. Please don’t judge anyone on their haircuts, you really should not be talking.
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4:24 pm
WTF?
the majority of your paper is incorrect, the boys had been popping pills since the early days in Hamburg, Germany.
Paul never cheated on Linda. Ringo Starr is NOT dead.
John was murdered by a crazy man. George, sadly, died of throat cancer /brain cancer in 2001.
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