The Anti-Masturbation Movement’s 14 Greatest Inventions
Masturbation continues to be one of the most overlooked personal morality issues of contemporary society. Most find it too embarrassing to talk about, while others can only broach the subject in humorous ways. This has not always been the case. In years past, many spoke out against this habit and explored the larger ethical implications of persistent self-gratification. Such repeated physical indulgence can be foully unhygienic. When taken to extremes, it can pose grave health risks. In an age when teen pregnancy is on the rise and STDs are nearly epidemic, this type of sexuality has a negative effect on the population at large. Spiritually, such abuse of the body pushes one into depths of indulgence and apathy, even promiscuity and nihilism.
It’s high time parents and educators once again took hold of this significant problem. Self-gratification needs to be discussed openly in the family. A strategic approach to stopping its spread must be devised in our schools and churches. When children learn from their peers to touch themselves, they degrade us all. They are creating a world where pleasure is paramount and pornography is only a few princely keystrokes away. They are using their bodies as toys for momentary thrills, gripping and probing in the most disgusting of ways. It is a shameful act, one that the Bible speaks against forcefully. How can we, as parents and adults, shut off our lights at night with the knowledge that next door our young people are engaging in frenzied fantasies of their own fluids? Even our college students and young adults have given themselves over to this addiction. And why not? Without a proper foundation of decency in their formative years, locked dorm rooms and city apartments seem like engraved invitations to inventive ejaculations.
Maybe history has the answer we seek. Below are 14 different ways the masturbation crisis has been addressed in the past. Some of these were successful, some not, but taken altogether they reveal diverse societies dedicated to finding a powerful and lasting solution. With each of these benevolent and ingenuous concepts, it’s clear that parental vigilance is the key. Perhaps that is the most important lesson we can take away from our forebearer’s righteous crusades to clamp down on the “evil vice.”
1. The Chastity Belt: The chastity belt was invented in medieval times to keep women chaste while their men were off fighting wars. With a simple but effective design, they were also used to discourage feminine masturbation for centuries. The wonderfully spiky teeth of the examples above prevented both vaginal and anal manipulation, although they were not very sanitary when worn for long periods. It was a foolish person, indeed, who attempted to invade such a fearsome fortress!
2. Parental Warning Systems: Crafted with the caring parent in mind, these home alarm systems for the penis were cutting edge pieces of technology in their day. A boy’s member was simply attached to a monitor that rung a bell in mother’s room should any unexpected erections occur during the night. At top is a French model, circa 1915, that shows a small band (bottom right of image) that was carefully snapped onto the organ at bedtime. Also included were generous amounts of white wire so loved ones could always stay informed, even if they were at the other end of the house. The lower drawing shows a work by Joseph Lees of Pennsylvania, patented in 1898. The elaborate jock covering on the right included padding to, “prevent the bedclothes unduly heating the genital organs.” It had an alarm loud enough, “to awaken even a heavy sleeper.”
3. The Stephenson Spermatic Truss: The drawing on the right shows one of the truly masterful creations of early America. The Spermatic Truss (named after a skilled inventor and not the author of this article) required that the penis be placed in a leather pouch and stretched downward, restricting blood flow. It was then tied to one’s inner thigh, making rude risings all but impossible.
4. Kellogg’s Corn Flakes: Dr. John Harvey Kellogg spent his life fighting against indulgences of the flesh. His dedication was so great that he even refused to have sex with his wife, finding the act unnecessary and unhealthy. At Kellogg’s famous Battle Creek sanitarium he researched numerous methods for battling the scourge of masturbation, including tying a child’s hands to his bedposts, circumcision without anesthesia and his now famous breakfast cereal. The corn flakes he created were meant to be part of a larger diet that would turn people away from the “solitary vice.” He also envisioned that the flakes could be used as a mild irritant douche for females, dissuading them from seeking private pleasure in their precious areas.
5. The Penis Fan: This ingenious surgical appliance was patented by Frank Orth of Oregon in 1893. Its purpose was to reduce heat on the genitals, “prior to said organ reaching the dangerous period.” This was done through a series of tubes and a small battery-operated fan (top left) kept close to the penis. When such a “dangerous period” arose, the fan would whiz into action, cooling one’s regions “until all danger has passed.” A water-based version was also planned.
6. Anti-Tampering Codpieces: These beautiful antiques certainly saved many a young man from moral corruption in their day! Perforated for urination and air circulation, they were sturdy protectors for members large and small!
7. Sexual Armor/Preventative Aprons: This “whole body” approach was created specifically for asylums but could be adapted for domestic use. They were much like straight jackets, but the focus here was on the genitalia. No sneak attacks by curious hands when one was protected by the locking zippers of these outfits! On the left, a male version from Ellen E. Perkins of Minnesota, 1908. Allan P. Risley of Minnesota devised the garment on the right for women in 1930.
8. Cold showers: As useful today as ever!
9. Graham Crackers: Health pioneer Reverend Sylvester Graham believed that rich, high-seasoned foods “increase the concupiscent excitability and sensibility of the genital organs.“ To provide an alternative, he created Dr. Graham’s Honey Biskets. These bland, mealy crackers were meant to suppress the carnal urges and facilitate bowel movements. With what we now know about high fructose diets playing a central role in hyperactivity and attention deficiency, maybe Dr. Graham was on to something!
10. Locking Penis Sheath: The previous devices shown here were great for bedtime use, but what about the man on the go? Raphael. A. Sonn of Georgia had the answer with his locking penis sheath. Patented in 1906, it clamped the penis into submission 24 hours a day and came with specially-designed “gripping elements” to prevent removal by the wearer. Note the small key at top left!
11. The Pear of Anguish: Versatile for both sodomites and wanton women, this special creation was inserted into the vagina (or the buttocks of a man) in the closed position as shown at left. Once the pear-shaped part was completely inside, the ornate handle was spun to expand the three sides outward. It caused such pain that the sinner was hopefully too traumatized to try masturbation or sodomy ever again. It also served as a popular interrogation and confession device!
12. The Testicle Taser: Albert V. Todd of Colorado engineered this delightful appliance to stop, “masturbation practiced frequently by weak minded boys or young men.” Just slide your penis into the first half of the tube as shown at top. If you get aroused and your organ extends beyond the acceptable limit, a trigger is pushed that sends “a mild current of electricity” to the testicles. Since this battery-powered invention was meant to be worn at all times, Todd wrote in 1903, you would need to immerse the belt regularly in, “an acid solution” to recharge it. He further added, “if necessary, it may be covered with a chamois-skin to keep the belt from burning the flesh.”
13. Penis Cages: Like their feminine counterpart the chastity belt, these handsome garments were usually secured to a young person by a trusty adult. They were surely affordable and attractive ways for families to lock up their erectile issues!
14. “The Timely Warning”: Not length but girth was the novel approach here. If your minor member grew unexpectedly engorged in the middle of the night, a ring of sharp teeth would bite you awake!
To see how the other side has tried to legitimate and promote self-gratification in recent years, check out Christwire’s list of, “The 10 Worst Masturbation Propaganda Films on the Internet.”
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Stephenson Billings
Stephenson Billings is an Investigative Journalist, Motivational Children's Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector all in one special, blessed package! Facebook me here or Fanmail me: StephensonBillings@yahoo.com !
4:13 am
Is it just me, or almost every single one of these looks like an organ of torture?
Maybe it has something to do with them BEING organs of torture…
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
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4
5:04 pm
You Christians never fail to show just how unnatural your thoughts are. Not only do you condemn natural acts like masturbation, which no rational person would find anything wrong with, but you devise methods to torture people who do not follow your ways. Why are you so obsessed with sex?
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
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8:36 pm
Don’t you get it’s all a joke?
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
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10:38 am
All Christians are NOT this way!!!!!!
Hot debate. What do you think?
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10:46 pm
These instruments are real, but the pretend Christians and the Athiests just pretend that the Bible doesn’t matter so they can sin.
When the Lord comes back and you are to be judged, can you honestly say you followed the rules? Tattoos, homosexuality, masturbation! God knows what you’ve done and you will answer to Him.
Hot debate. What do you think?
3 
70
8:32 pm
First of all, you’re a hypocrite, and you will fail in life. Second, guess what: I don’t give a rat’s a** about your fake “God”. Who is God? He has no power over me. F*ck him. F*ck him long and hard. Will he punish me for saying this? Why hasn’t he done it yet? I’m right here. Is he waiting for the right time, well I will be waiting for his answer. I am educated, with a good job and a family, and I have always been a believer in my own F*ck God religion. How am I so successful, you ask? Is God testing me? Am I at his mercy? No. I am who I am because *I* chose this path. It was not chosen for me, I am the sole cause of my existence. I will not bow down to a fake deity, and there is NOTHING you can say that will change my mind. Try it. I challenge you. So far, I have not met anyone that I can have a coherent talk with, one in which BOTH parties listen before they speak. I’ve listened, I’ve been to mass, and I have not become a better person. In conclusion: F*ck God and F*ck your fake prophets.
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7:54 pm
i would rather spend an eternity in darkness than serve a god who judges people like that. your god is nothing but a tool used to freak people out and control them. i would rather sin and have fun before i die, than to be sinless just to please something that doesnt even exist. people like you are the reason i dont believe in god. thank you.
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10:56 am
As will you dear child
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5:14 pm
yes i will, and think that god doesn’t care about masturbation…
and he doesnt care about people being gay, i have a lesbian friend and she is a wonderful person.
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9:02 am
“With each of these benevolent and ingenuous concepts, it’s clear that parental vigilance is the key.”
“It caused such pain that the sinner was hopefully too traumatized to try masturbation or sodomy ever again.”
Perhaps our definitions of benevolent are different but causing so much pain as to traumatize the person doesn’t sound very benevolent to me…
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
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7:27 pm
The pear shaped device looks like whoever used it enjoyed inserting it someone and causing them pain. Very sick people created it and enjoyed inserting such a grotesque toy in a person. They most likely savored every scream and cry…
What a terrible article.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
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3:38 pm
“Christwire is a satirical website that publishes blog style articles that highlight perceived excesses of Un-christlike hypocritical Christian conservatives”
It’s a troll website making fun of christians, you fools.
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3:40 pm
If you had the slightest grasp of reality, you would see you’re the biggest fool here.
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3:07 am
says the man who believes we came from a woman who had sex with a man who shared DNA.
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10:24 am
Definition of masturbation – Poking fun at yourself.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
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10:09 pm
And a good time was had by all!
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10:56 am
Great and dangerous devices to stop fapping!
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11:45 am
Thank you Brother Billings for this wonderful article. I’ve looked online and I can’t find any of these devices to order! I’m afraid they are no longer available. I would like to buy one for my husband so he would stop penetrating me. Please, what can I do? I know about the sinful viagra, but could there be a Christian anti-viagra that keeps the penis down?
Yours in Christ,
Sister Dianne
Hot debate. What do you think?
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38
1:00 pm
Yeast.
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2:27 pm
I fin dit hard to believe a true Sister would so casually throw the p***s word around – do you kiss our Lord Jesus with that mouth..?
“Know this first of all, that in the last days mockers will come with their mocking, following their own lusts.” 2 Peter 3:3
Hot debate. What do you think?
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6:07 pm
Mr. Debonaire.
“Penis” is an anatomical term, no different from “Rib” “Eye” or “Heart”. You seem to assert that because it is the source of sexual immorality that it should not be referred to by name. Since the heart and mind are also capable of great evils such as lying, blasphemy, slander, mocking, and hypocrisy, should they also be considered dirty words and not discussed?
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12:20 am
Mmmm…ribeye.
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4:15 pm
SEE?! Even Christians get this is a satirical website!? And I thought they were all complete idiots!!!
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10:57 am
HAHAHAAAA!!!! God likey this post LMAO
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12:23 pm
Those are some kinky toys! I gotta pick up some of those for the bedroom
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
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12:23 pm
You’re a sick, sick man for endorsing such devices.
“The chastity belt was invented in medieval times to keep women chaste while their men were off fighting wars.”
You’re applauding a device that was designed to oppress women, you sick fuck!
“A boy’s member was simply attached to a monitor that rung a bell in mother’s room should any unexpected erections occur during the night.”
Are you aware that males, particularly adolescent males, experience many erections that are spontaneous and uncontrollable? Even if a nighttime erection is due to an erotic dream and not a simple physiological response to accidental contact (brushing the hand against it during sleep, etc), it simply means that he is a healthy, normal, adolescent male. Why does that frighten you so much?
“The Spermatic Truss (named after a skilled inventor and not the author of this article) required that the penis be placed in a leather pouch and stretched downward, restricting blood flow.”
Not only is that sick, it’s fucking dangerous. Granted, religious people tend to not be the sharpest tools in the shed when it comes to biology and science, but ischemia (restricted blood flow) leads to nerve damage, necrosis, and other problems. Would you tie a string around your wrist tight enough to cut off blood supply, and leave it like that overnight? What would you say if the boy not only was psychologically harmed by this, but repeated uses rendered him unable to achieve an erection as an adult and thus unable to produce children?
“including tying a child’s hands to his bedposts, circumcision without anesthesia”
Basically traumatize the fuck out of the child. You should be in prison if you endorse this.
“He also envisioned that the flakes could be used as a mild irritant douche for females, dissuading them from seeking private pleasure in their precious areas.”
Ah yes, nothing better to discourage a female from touching her vagina than making hundreds of tiny little cuts inside of it. Why are you calling them “precious areas” if you condone the intentional harming of them? Do you also condone female genital mutilation?
“Versatile for both sodomites and wanton women, this special creation was inserted into the vagina (or the buttocks of a man) in the closed position as shown at left. Once the pear-shaped part was completely inside, the ornate handle was spun to expand the three sides outward. It caused such pain that the sinner was hopefully too traumatized to try masturbation or sodomy ever again.”
You are fucked up. Fucked up!
“It also served as a popular interrogation and confession device!”
And you sound excited about this. Once again, you should be in prison.
I hope that this “article” gets forwarded to any and all parents of kids who you are planning on clowning for, or have clowned for in the past, as well as the parents of kids who you are going to take camping. This is highly disturbing. You’re only digging yourself deeper into a hole, Billings. You’re already aware that many people suspect you to be a pedophile, and then you go and write an “article” focused solely on devices that come into intimate contact with young boys’ penises and young girls’ vaginas.
You are a SICK, SICK man and I’m considering forwarding this to the proper authorities.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
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4:11 pm
Claire, this was an historical review, a tour through the past. Clearly, these devices are not used today. I really don’t understand why you are so intensely upset. I simply described how they were made and what they were used for. You’re blaming the messenger and not the message. And for the record, I do NOT endorse female genital mutilation. It’s subhuman.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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4:40 pm
If one word of that was true, then you would’ve called 13 of these things terrible devices that tortured and harmed humanity, all but the shower are devices that are specifically meant to either oppress or destroy someone’s genitalia or the body in general. You even said how corn flakes could be used as a method after being crushed and shoved into a woman’s vagina, and you being the biased bastard you are never bothered saying how horrifying it is to do something like that.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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4:47 pm
Is that really the opinionated rhetoric you want stuffed into your history books, line by line? You are young, I realize that, but you need to understand that not everything requires a stamp of condemnation for merely existing in a sentence or an article. Maybe my Christian approach to other subjects has confused your general understanding of how writing works in this big, bad world but the things you’re asking for are out of place in an historical review.
Hot debate. What do you think?
9 
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5:02 pm
//Is that really the opinionated rhetoric you want stuffed into your history books, line by line?//
The fuck is that supposed to mean? Stevie, can you for once NOT butcher the English language by shoving random words together to make up a phrase in your head?
//You are young, I realize that,//
Never told you my age, so how do you know I’m young? I could be 60-something just like you, I could be older, I could be in my 50′s, the point is that you don’t know how old I am.
//but you need to understand that not everything requires a stamp of condemnation for merely existing in a sentence or an article.//
So you’re trying to retroactively ret-con your blog post in saying that you find these devices horrible, only AFTER you decided to post it up with a title like ‘greatest inventions’ and calling some of these things ‘delightful’ and whatnot? Are you seriously trying to say that these things are indeed evil, even after expressing such hatred at a harmless activity AND throwing in certain lines and something like a cold shower as being an invention that was made to prevent masturbation?
//Maybe my Christian approach to other subjects has confused your general understanding of how writing works in this big, bad world but the things you’re asking for are out of place in an historical review.//
I know how writing works, jackass, because unlike you, I’ve taken an actual class for it, and what I’m asking is why the FUCK you’re calling torture and depravity a good thing.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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6:47 pm
Stop trying to bully me. It’s not going to work.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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6:49 pm
Also, for the life of me I can’t see what you fail to understand about that first sentence. Maybe you are a bit daft.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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5:53 pm
“I really don’t understand why you are so intensely upset. I simply described how they were made and what they were used for.”
Well, let’s see:
“The Anti-Masturbation Movement’s 14 GREATEST Inventions” – The fact that you’re practically gushing over these devices is revealed in the 6th word of the title.
“The wonderfully spiky teeth of the examples above” – note the use of the word “wonderfully” when describing sharp objects designed to oppress women.
“The drawing on the right shows one of the truly masterful creations of early America.” – note the use of “truly masterful” when describing a device that cut off blood flow to and stretched a young boy’s genitalia, something that would surely be considered abuse in the 21st Century.
“This ingenious surgical appliance was patented by Frank Orth of Oregon in 1893.” – note the positive adjective “ingenious”.
“These beautiful antiques certainly saved many a young man from moral corruption in their day! Perforated for urination and air circulation, they were sturdy protectors for members large and small!” – You sound downright agog when describing this device, even without the exclamation points.
“No sneak attacks by curious hands when one was protected by the locking zippers of these outfits!” – see above comment. Your exclamation points give you away, you fat sicko.
“The previous devices shown here were great for bedtime use” – note the use of the word “great”.
“Note the small key at top left!” – again with the exclamation points. You sound far too excited…and that’s highly disturbing.
“It also served as a popular interrogation and confession device!” – an exclamation point at the end of a sentence describing how a particular device meant to cause excruciating pain in women (who you claim were “wanton” but who were most likely being punished simply for having two X chromosomes) could also be used in other manners in which searing pain was to be inflicted. You are fucked in the head.
“Like their feminine counterpart the chastity belt, these handsome garments were usually secured to a young person by a trusty adult. They were surely affordable and attractive ways for families to lock up their erectile issues!” – When simply describing something, as you claim to be doing, you’re not supposed to sound as though you’re advertising it.
“Not length but girth was the novel approach here. If your minor member grew unexpectedly engorged in the middle of the night, a ring of sharp teeth would bite you awake!” – note the use of “novel”, as well as the exclamation point at the end.
IN CONCLUSION: these are proof that you are NOT “simply describing how they were made and what they were used for”. You are very clearly endorsing these devices as having been good. Heck, you don’t even need to look any further than the word “Greatest” in the title to tell that you approve of these devices! You are a sick, sick man, and I’ve started filling out an online form to submit to the Memphis FBI Division. Have a good night.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
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6:09 pm
Yes, I AM excited by history. I am an historian, after all. You are overreacting. It’s just silly at this point. Can you just appreciate this tour through the past? It’s like visiting a museum or antique shop. I also wrote about “pro masturbation” videos. Why didn’t you make the same claims then? You could just as easily argued that I was promoting masturbation because I took a tour of some of history’s films.
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6:29 pm
“Yes, I AM excited by history. I am an historian, after all.”
Did you attend college and graduate with a degree in history, or is this degree in your imagination, like your “journalism” degree, and your friends?
“You are overreacting. It’s just silly at this point. Can you just appreciate this tour through the past? It’s like visiting a museum or antique shop.”
I won’t appreciate a tour of torture devices given by a man who is obviously so enthusiastic about the devices themselves and the pain, humiliation, and suffering that they inflicted. Your attitude towards these devices is the equivalent of a history teacher getting all excited when teaching about Giles Corey getting pressed to death during the Salem Witch Trials. It’s one thing to enjoy history, it’s quite another to get excited when describing how torture devices worked. Do you get a boner when talking about the “Iron Maiden”, or the “Scold’s Bridle”?
“I also wrote about “pro masturbation” videos. Why didn’t you make the same claims then? You could just as easily argued that I was promoting masturbation because I took a tour of some of history’s films.”
That article was entitled “The 10 WORST Masturbation Propaganda Films on the Internet”. This one is entitled “The Anti-Masturbation Movement’s 14 GREATEST Inventions”. See the difference?
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6:37 pm
CALM DOWN CLAIRE YOU ARE FREAKING OUT FOR NO REASON AND GETTING PARANOID ABOUT THINGS WHICH YOU BELIEVE YOU IMAGINE IN THIS ARTICLE BUT WHICH TRULY DO NOT EXIST. GET OVER YOURSELF AND STOP TRYING SO HARD.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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6:53 pm
//CALM DOWN CLAIRE YOU ARE FREAKING OUT FOR NO REASON AND GETTING PARANOID ABOUT THINGS WHICH YOU BELIEVE YOU IMAGINE IN THIS ARTICLE BUT WHICH TRULY DO NOT EXIST. GET OVER YOURSELF AND STOP TRYING SO HARD.///
She’s right in every way, you sick, twisted little fuck. You’re like a kid in a candy store with this blog post, you’re calling all of these terrible inventions and atrocities, with three exceptions (and two of them being only minor), great and terrific. You’re enjoying the idea of someone becoming limp for the rest of their life, or someone’s jaw cracking wide-open (or in your sick, twisted mind, their ass), and your wording does nothing but help this. Claire gave a list of the shit you talked about and how wrong it all was, and you’re trying to pass it off as ‘like a tour through history’? Are you mad?! You’re the one who’s trying too hard, picking apart your arguments and theories is child’s play. For Christ’s sake, who the fuck are YOU to claim that you’re full of love after admitting that you get your jollies off at the thought of medieval torture!
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2:55 pm
” Stephenson Billings says:
October 23, 2010 at 6:09 pm
Yes, I AM excited by history. I am an historian, after all. You are overreacting. It’s just silly at this point. Can you just appreciate this tour through the past? It’s like visiting a museum or antique shop. I also wrote about “pro masturbation” videos. Why didn’t you make the same claims then? You could just as easily argued that I was promoting masturbation because I took a tour of some of history’s films.”
Historian
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
For other uses, see Historian (disambiguation).
Herodotus (5th century BC), one of the earliest nameable historians whose work survives.
A historian is an individual who studies and writes about history, and is regarded as an authority on it.[1] Historians are concerned with the continuous, methodical narrative and research of past events as relating to the human race; as well as the study of all events in time. If the individual is concerned with events preceding written history, the individual is an historian of prehistory. Although “historian” can be used to describe amateur and professional historians alike, it is reserved more recently for those who have acquired graduate degrees in the discipline.[2] Some historians, though, are recognized by equivalent training and experience in the field.[2] “Historian” became a professional occupation in the late nineteenth century at roughly the same time that physicians also set standards for who could enter the field.
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Historian
YOU,Billings,are no historian..lol
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11:03 am
So is this a “HISTORY” website? Or a “LET’S SHOVE THIS SHIT DOWN EVERYONE’S THROAT SO WE CAN SEEM LIKE BETTER CHRISTIANS” aka “HOLY TROLLER” website??? lol I would be confused by this wishy-washy shit right about now. God doesn’t like being confused. God wants a Manwich. And by Manwich, I mean sloppy joe, not dick sandwich you fucking pervert
LOL There goes MY dirty mind LMFAOOOO
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6:24 pm
Claire, do you M? It seems you are upset with Stevenson because he is shining light on a subject of which you feel a dark, deep guilt.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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6:42 pm
“Claire, do you M?”
Any “doctor” who is scared to use the word “masturbation” is no doctor in my book.
But to answer your question, yes, I do. I did it yesterday, and I plan on doing it again tonight. In fact, I just purchased a new dildo. And I’m not ashamed of it at all. I’m a good person – I’ve never had sex, never touched alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs, don’t party, don’t go out at night, have never ever gotten in trouble at school, I volunteer at an animal shelter, I give money to the homeless, listen to musicals such as “Annie” and “Les Miserables” instead of stuff like rap or heavy metal, I wear modest clothing, and have never worn makeup.
“It seems you are upset with Stevenson because he is shining light on a subject of which you feel a dark, deep guilt.”
“Upset” doesn’t do my feelings towards Billings justice. I despise him with every fiber of my being. I will celebrate with fanfare on the day he dies. After his burial I will dig up his corpse, urinate on it, and then bury it again face down. And these feelings aren’t because he condemns masturbation. To imply that my hatred of him is so petty is insulting. I hate him because he condemns homosexuals, cats, feminists, atheists, liberals, and everything else in this world that isn’t a white, male, heterosexual, Evangelical Christian.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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6:44 pm
I only want to love you, Claire, to help you find Jesus.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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6:54 pm
//I only want to love you, Claire, to help you find Jesus.//
You want to torture people and beat women, how the FUCK are you trying to love people? You’re only digging yourself deeper jackass, your own words will be your own demise.
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7:08 pm
I do not want to torture people and beat women. Please try to remember that for the next round of ad hominem attacks you plan.
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7:31 pm
//I do not want to torture people and beat women. Please try to remember that for the next round of ad hominem attacks you plan.//
That’s right, you’re in favor of castrating boys while they’re conscious, cutting the blood flow from the penis that will permanently damage the nervous system and thus destroy the boy’s future, as well as giving a ‘loving tap’ to women.
Wait, there’s no difference.
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10:33 pm
Comedian, that comment was so silly it made me laugh.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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11:19 pm
//Comedian, that comment was so silly it made me laugh.//
What, you laugh at the idea of you beating the shit out of a woman? Wow, and you claim we’re the ones who have sick pleasures, you’re the one who’d laugh as he’d smack a girl down to the ground.
Praise or Condemn:
17 
7
6:19 pm
You, sir, are subhuman. Read more of the Bible and less of the internet, and maybe then you’ll understand what it means to be a Christian.
You’ve created a website based on hate, using various aliases to make readers believe there are people out there who actually agree with such idiocy, when the fact of the matter is, no one else this bigoted exists.
Darwinism wiped them out.
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3 
0
12:43 am
Report him to the law enforcement for what? While I agree this is a very sick and disturbed individual he has the right to express his views. That is what makes America great having the freedom of speech no matter how absurd and distasteful.
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4 
1
1:02 am
There’s a limit to what one can say. If I went out and shouted “I want to kill everyone in this town” and gave a detailed explanation of how I’m going to do so, I can be arrested. By saying that torture devices are great things (and not a great thin during it’s time period) and so many other positive adjectives when describing these things, he comes off as someone who advocating the return of these devices, and even IF he’s a part of the satire, it’s still like the case with shat all over again.
When you’re outright declaring that torture is a good thing to a regular citizen for no real reason other than you have a problem with someone else’s free will, you’re not exactly going to be considered a joke, especially if you give a detailed list of how to torture someone.
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4 
1
10:48 am
This is an amazing comment. You are so right, this man is obviously a sick, twisted, disgusting human being.
To promote the use of such methods is wrong beyond belief.
Masturbation is perfectly natural and part of growing up discovering yourself.
And these methods are obviously borderline torture!
The pear shaped fucking THING that they put in a girl’s vagina or a man’s ass is terrible. It would be unbelievably painful.
And you are right, cutting off the circulation could be extremely dangerous.
And the way this man write’s about them ‘calling them handsome and wonderful or ingenious shows what a sick fuck he is.
A sadistic man that probably got hard just thinking about them being used on innocent people.
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2 
0
12:27 pm
The pear of anguish was inserted orally and they opened it until all of your teeth broke and your jaw shattered if you didnt give them the info they wanted. Good research, mr.journalist. But i guess you and your imagination are at it again.
Praise or Condemn:
21 
3
1:04 pm
I don’t know…I’m thinking of all kinds of kinky things that could be done with The Pear of Anguish.
Praise or Condemn:
17 
1
4:15 pm
Bob, that was another use of the Pear. In that sense it was called the Choke Pear. That is a rather obscure footnote, and not relevant to the emphasis of this article– which was masturbation, which this device was very well known to be used for. You’re basically wrong ethically for calling me out on this. It is no failure of reportage. In journalism, like book writing, you cannot include each and every minute detail, particularly when they are irrelevant. Thanks for being a pompous commenter.
Praise or Condemn:
7 
15
4:43 pm
The Choke Pear and the Pear of Anguish are the same damn thing, mr. ‘investigative journalist’, and he’s right; the Pear’s main function was a torture device THROUGH THE MOUTH and not the genitalia like you so hardly claim. A simple google search blew that up, so how is he wrong for calling you out on this? That’s right, you hate being wrong whatsoever, and you enjoy the idea of shoving a device up someone’s ass just to stretch it out and harm/kill them, you sick fucking freak of a terrorist.
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18 
6
6:35 pm
Of course I know they’re the same thing. I referred to the other name of this object when discussing the type of usage he suggested. If I were to talk about the oral usage, I would have called it the choke pear in this article but since this article was about masturbation, I referred to it by it’s more well known name. You’re becoming absurdly nit picky now.
“A pear-shaped instrument was inserted into one of the victim’s orifices: the vagina for women, the anus for homosexuals and the mouth for liars and blasphemers.”
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7 
9
7:00 pm
//Of course I know they’re the same thing. I referred to the other name of this object when discussing the type of usage he suggested. If I were to talk about the oral usage, I would have called it the choke pear in this article but since this article was about masturbation, I referred to it by it’s more well known name. You’re becoming absurdly nit picky now.//
Except if they’re the same thing, then the only difference is the name you call it, not the function nor what it’s called during that function. The name doesn’t turn the damn thing into something else, you can’t hold up an object and give it two different names to represent two different functions IF THE ‘TWO’ FUNCTIONS ARE THE SAME FUCKING THING.
Christ Almighty, I know what your strategy is now, you’re trying to sound so incredibly stupid, there’s no way in Hell anyone could have dignity after thrashing at your comments and insanity and that bit alone is what you’ll hope is what’ll happen so that they’ll stop arguing with you. You’ll say the stupidest of things so that it does nothing but confuse and stupefy the other person.
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9 
5
7:12 pm
You lack a basic understanding of either common sense or the English language. I don’t know how to respond to someone so thoroughly idiotic. You must be joking, right? Can someone really be this stupid? You really only see the tiny narrow worldview you want to see, even when it comes to discussing basic sentence structure.
I bet you’d disagree with me over the wording of a stop sign.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
17
7:35 pm
//You lack a basic understanding of either common sense or the English language.//
This coming from a man-child who butchers the English language on a daily basis and can’t define what a crime or a sin is, or know what the fuck ‘ad hominem’ means?
//I don’t know how to respond to someone so thoroughly idiotic. You must be joking, right? Can someone really be this stupid?//
So you have nothing to say to what I said and thus you’re admitting defeat, correct? Because let’s face it, whenever you veer the subject off-course, you’re running away, and running away is equal to defeat.
//You really only see the tiny narrow worldview you want to see, even when it comes to discussing basic sentence structure.//
You’re the one who uses generalizations and stereotypes to get an idea of what a group of people are like, and you’re the one who can’t define the simplest of words or even FUCKING READ PROPERLY.
//I bet you’d disagree with me over the wording of a stop sign.//
You’d try to convince me that a stop sign is a shovel. Yeah, you’re that retarded Stevie, just admit it.
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10 
3
1:00 pm
Stevie, this has officially gone past satire of the highest caliber and straight into advocating torture. You’ve done exactly what shat did to get kicked off here, and it’s shit like that which is just too much.
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22 
4
4:19 pm
“With each of these benevolent and ingenuous concepts, it’s clear that parental vigilance is the key.” That was the emphasis of this article. I don’t understand why you people can’t comprehend that. If I were to write about the Franco-Prussian War, would you assume I am advocating for Prussian supremacy? Just become one reviews a subject from the past, does not mean one demands its return to the present. You seem to have a slight grip on the concept of journalism, my friend. I am not advocating torture here. This is really about masturbation, which I have written about many times and you yourself have commented on many times. Your attacks are unjust and wrong.
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3 
13
4:35 pm
//“With each of these benevolent and ingenuous concepts, it’s clear that parental vigilance is the key.” That was the emphasis of this article.//
Bullshit it was.
//If I were to write about the Franco-Prussian War, would you assume I am advocating for Prussian supremacy? Just become one reviews a subject from the past, does not mean one demands its return to the present.//
If you said that Prussia was in the good and deserved to win, then you would be, just like how you’re saying that these torture devices are ‘delightful appliances’. That, and you called these things the ‘ anti-masturbation movement’s greatest inventions’; you can’t say you aren’t advocating for these things to return IF YOU’RE CALLING THESE MONSTROSITIES A GOOD THING.
//You seem to have a slight grip on the concept of journalism, my friend.//
I have a slight grip compared to your lack of one Stevie, if a simple Google search can beat half a dozen of your arguments, then you aren’t a ‘journalist’.
//I am not advocating torture here.//
Bullshit, you just posted a list of things you liked, a list of devices that could and have caused great harm to people, how the fuck are you NOT advocating it?
//This is really about masturbation, which I have written about many times and you yourself have commented on many times. Your attacks are unjust and wrong.//
MY attacks are unjust and wrong? This coming from a bastard who thinks he’s the only one right and everyone else is wrong, and who doesn’t do one iota of research as he lashes out against everything in the current day and age. This coming from a sick, psychotic mother-fucker who has out-right attacked people for their views and beliefs and has refused to follow the Bible, yet claims to be a holy man. Bull. Shit.
Praise or Condemn:
13 
4
4:51 pm
Swearing at me when I bare the truth doesn’t help anything, Comedian. Are you biased towards masturbation? Does this article threaten your addiction to the endorphin rush? Have you ever considered that maybe you do it too much? Well in the past parents knew this was a problem, too. That is what these examples show. Stop pretending to be outraged. You’re a shallow fool with nothing better to do than attack decent older Christians on the internet. And just admit that you’re a frequent masturbator. We need to have your bias cleared up.
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5 
14
5:15 pm
//Swearing at me when I bare the truth doesn’t help anything, Comedian.//
On the contrary, it gets your attention, and hopefully long enough that you’ll learn something.
//Are you biased towards masturbation? Does this article threaten your addiction to the endorphin rush? Have you ever considered that maybe you do it too much?//
If this ‘threatened’ my ‘addiction’, then by that logic everything I’ve said that you’ve gotten pissed about and insulted me has threatened you, and due to your logic, that means I’m right. But no, this blog post doesn’t have jack-shit to do with masturbation; it’s about torture devices (and apparently food and a cold shower) that were meant to prevent any sort of sexual stimulation, and ways that mundane things can be used to harm people with.
//Well in the past parents knew this was a problem, too. That is what these examples show.//
Back then people were idiots and didn’t know that fire was hot and water was wet. Saying that these things are good and wholesome is a way to get locked up in a loony bin thanks to the simple thought that wrapping something around a limb or poking it extremely hard or suppressing that limb from doing anything has EXTREMELY NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES.
//Stop pretending to be outraged.//
Oh, so you know me now? You think I’m NOT pissed off that you’re trying to take a country that was supposed to be a land for all and transform it into some kind of sick dictatorship of yours where your will is law and every mundane activity is meant with scrutiny and punishment? You think I’m NOT pissed that you do nothing but lie off your fat, fucking ass, claiming to be a Christian and a good man when you do nothing but attack people? You think I’m NOT outraged that assholes like you feel as if you’re right about every detail without doing one iota of research and how you want to silence those who are against you?
//You’re a shallow fool with nothing better to do than attack decent older Christians on the internet.//
You’re not a Christian or a journalist, you’re just a sick, twisted fucking terrorist who types up blog posts, trying to garner any kind of attention for yourself.
//And just admit that you’re a frequent masturbator. We need to have your bias cleared up.//
If I’m biased and that prevents me from being right, then how the FUCK are you supposed to be right? You’ve admitted that you think you know what’s best for this country, and that you don’t care what others have to say about it, you believe everyone but you is inferior, so how is that not being biased, and why are you right all of a sudden?
You’re nothing more than a terrorist, you’re nothing more than a liar, you’re nothing more than scum, you’re just a sub-human, insignificant, air-headed, blabbering, drooling retard of a man-child who hates humanity, love, life and enjoyment, and you blame ALL of your problems on some random subject you decide upon. How the fuck do you sleep at night, you sick, twisted bastard?
Praise or Condemn:
10 
2
1:47 pm
Hmm Claire wanted to Put you Behind the bars and you give the reason on a silver platter Old man
chastity Belt was not even means for masturbation it’s was for married women and seriously it’s was oppressive and dirty (it’s give red little spot on the vagina because of the metal)
Anyway Good Look rotting in Jail Old man
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8 
3
4:22 pm
Are you an imbecile? I believe I stated that it was originally created to maintain a women’s chastity by their men when they were away at war. I further stated that it came to be used to prevent against masturbation, which it was and even Wikipedia confirms (along with 80 other websites). Why do facts disturb you?
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2 
9
8:10 pm
if I,m an imbecile How come did I find disturbing the KKK on the Kellogs Box ?
you are a fucking terrorist and a Threat to humanity You should be On electric chair by now with a Lot of sicko Like you
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8 
3
3:27 pm
I want to see a picture of Steve-O wearing one of these contraptions on his face.
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14 
0
3:45 pm
wow i’m allmost haveing flash backs to when shamful truth explain how to excercise torture to your wife….
i think i’m going back to my little asumption that billings and shamful was writen by the same guy.
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5 
2
4:23 pm
Jazze, you too? Have you people lost all sense of reason? I guess you people would rather read about kitty cats and Glee.
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4 
8
10:39 pm
me too what exactly? being against you? that’s nothing new. calling you out on praising toture… well that ones obvious. or are you talking about my little “conspircy theory”? i actually started this one to my knowledge
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6 
1
5:41 pm
As a historical piece, I found this article interesting and educational. Mr. Billings simply showed pictures of devises and explained their use, and the historical attitudes during the time period of their use.
I can’t for the life of me understand why there are so many negative comments! What a sorry state the commenters are in not to be open minded and apprecitate this piece of work.
Sorry you were attacked by so many hot heads Mr. Billings. Hazard of your job I guess. You handled it very well.
jem
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4 
16
6:12 pm
Thank you, Jem. You are a fount of common sense, much needed around here!
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3 
9
2:52 pm
Hear-hear!
‘Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.’
Ephesians 4:25
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1 
5
6:33 pm
Never been here before. I noted ‘benevolent and ingenious’, and realised it was a joke when I got to ‘wonderfully spiky’. Then I had to go and delete a morally outraged comment from a friend’s facebook page
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9 
1
6:45 pm
“CALM DOWN CLAIRE YOU ARE FREAKING OUT FOR NO REASON AND GETTING PARANOID ABOUT THINGS WHICH YOU BELIEVE YOU IMAGINE IN THIS ARTICLE BUT WHICH TRULY DO NOT EXIST. GET OVER YOURSELF AND STOP TRYING SO HARD.”
Once again, Billings, I’m not going to be told to “calm down” by someone who will not heed his own advice. It is YOU who needs to calm down. God, you are bat-shit crazy, aren’t you? You lose more and more credibility each time you fly off the handle.
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11 
5
6:57 pm
YOU are the one freaking out, throwing all these wild accusations, calling me a criminal and a pedophile, saying you’re contacting the FBI because of some article you read on a Christian website. You’re the one who lurks on my Facebook page, reporting me for the slightest things I’ve said. You’re the one creating petitions to harass me. You’re the one who wrote to Atlantic Magazine to insult me. You even wrote to Stephen Colbert to disparage me and call me a sex criminal. I think you are obsessed little lady. I think you are dangerously obsessed and possibly mentally deficient. Or maybe you’re secretly infatuated and upset because I don’t return your affections? I really do not know but you need deep psychological and spiritual help. RIGHT NOW! You’re on the edge, all this sexual angst and paranoia and ramblings online and the death threats, the foul language! If I were your parents, I would be deeply concerned for your well being. Frankly, you sound like you’re just too emotional, too young… Maybe that’s just it. Maybe you’re really just too immature to be on an adult website. Maybe it’s my fault partly for encouraging you and complimenting you. Maybe I shouldn’t have tried to make you feel better about yourself, by saying I found your writing sophisticated and your thoughts intelligent, albeit far too liberal. I was only trying to help you, engage you in a realm of spirituality and this is the thanks I get? “No good deed goes unpunished” as the saying goes… Well, I have always cared for you Claire. And I have always thought very highly of you. And I have always been committed to helping you. I am so sorry that you are erratic and emotional today. I know it will pass. God bless.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
14
7:16 pm
“You’re the one who lurks on my Facebook page, reporting me for the slightest things I’ve said.”
Dude, I’ve only reported you once on facebook, and that was for an anti-semitic comment.
“You’re the one who wrote to Atlantic Magazine to insult me.”
Dude, I’ve never even HEARD of Atlantic Magazine!
“You even wrote to Stephen Colbert”
Wow…you’re getting really paranoid. I like Colbert as much as the next liberal, but not once have I ever written to him. I think it’s time to slap the straight jacket on you.
“Or maybe you’re secretly infatuated and upset because I don’t return your affections?”
Don’t flatter yourself. I hate you as much as the next person.
“You’re on the edge, all this sexual angst and paranoia and ramblings online and the death threats, the foul language!”
Sexual angst? Please provide proof?
Paranoia? Compared to you I haven’t an ounce of paranoia in my body.
Death threats? Telling someone that they should commit suicide is not a death threat.
Foul language? Yeah, who cares?
“Maybe you’re really just too immature to be on an adult website.”
Dude, I’m 20, I AM an adult!
“Maybe it’s my fault partly for encouraging you and complimenting you.”
Since when is calling me a “little freak” or assuming that I wear all black and kick old men on the streets complimenting or encouraging me?
“Maybe I shouldn’t have tried to make you feel better about yourself, by saying I found your writing sophisticated and your thoughts intelligent, albeit far too liberal.”
You are delusional. First of all, I never needed anyone to make me feel better about myself. Second, you would always jump back and forth between calling me intelligent and calling me stupid, so I don’t know why you’re patting yourself on the back.
“I was only trying to help you, engage you in a realm of spirituality and this is the thanks I get?”
For the millionth time, NO means NO! Don’t expect to get thanks for “helping” someone, when that “help” is UNWANTED.
““No good deed goes unpunished” as the saying goes…”
“You reap what you sow” applies to you.
“Well, I have always cared for you Claire. And I have always thought very highly of you. And I have always been committed to helping you.”
Again, I have PARENTS who care for me. I don’t need a pedophile from the internet to care about me or “help” me.
“I am so sorry that you are erratic and emotional today. I know it will pass. God bless.”
So which is it, Billings, am I suffering from a debilitating mental illness, or am I simply suffering from the “monthly curse”, which will pass? You can’t seem to make up your mind about anything.
Praise or Condemn:
13 
3
10:45 pm
John Hudson, of the Atlantic, wrote a piece about this site. The magazine’s website is called “altanticwire” and you were there posting on the article, attacking me. When problems erupted over something I wrote about Stephen Colbert, you very quickly joined their messaged boards and penned a post calling me a pedophile. You started a petition site about me (why don’t you tell us the link again?). Many times little photos of me with nasty comments have shown up on this site (on my first cat article, for instance) that I suspected you were behind but could not prove. There is some group on Facebook called “Stephenson Billings is a Pedobear” which I also suspect you had your hand in. You have many, many time taken screen shots of my Facebook comments, photos, etc. and posted them everywhere. For example: http://confessionwire.com/index.php/3349/anyone-disturbing-billings-included-wayne-facebook-clown
Claire, the proof is there. Stop denying your obsession. Maybe you’re just having one of those bad days today, but there’s no need to go all haywire on me.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
7
11:23 pm
//Many times little photos of me with nasty comments have shown up on this site (on my first cat article, for instance) that I suspected you were behind but could not prove.//
So you can’t prove she did it, but you’re still going to hold it against her. So if someone runs over a cat, I can go to your house and have your ass arrested under suspicion of animal cruelty?
//There is some group on Facebook called “Stephenson Billings is a Pedobear” which I also suspect you had your hand in.//
Again, you can’t prove she did it, and yet you’ll still attack her for it anyway.
//You have many, many time taken screen shots of my Facebook comments, photos, etc. and posted them everywhere. For example: http://confessionwire.com/index.php/3349/anyone-disturbing-billings-included-wayne-facebook-clown //
Ya know, you never DID answer the question as to why you have pictures of a serial rapist and murderer under your ‘fun fotos’ folder in that thread. And let’s face it, you say the absolute dumbest shit ever, having an entire book-case full of evidence against you should be more than enough to send you to jail when the time arises.
//Claire, the proof is there. Stop denying your obsession. Maybe you’re just having one of those bad days today, but there’s no need to go all haywire on me.//
If you say she’s been having ‘one of those bad days today’, then you seriously need to define what a day is, because she’s hated you for over a year now, and the shit you just posted here (nice try in avoiding the subject again jackass) is just proof that you’re a deranged criminal who needs to be locked up.
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6 
3
12:40 am
Way to avoid the most substantial of my charges.
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3 
8
11:56 am
“The magazine’s website is called “altanticwire” and you were there posting on the article, attacking me.”
Commenting on the Atlantic article is very different than: “You’re the one who wrote to Atlantic Magazine to insult me.”
“When problems erupted over something I wrote about Stephen Colbert, you very quickly joined their messaged boards and penned a post calling me a pedophile.”
Joining the message boards and starting a post about you is very different than: “You even wrote to Stephen Colbert to disparage me and call me a sex criminal.”
“You started a petition site about me (why don’t you tell us the link again?).”
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/stephenson-billings-show-us-your-credentials/
“Many times little photos of me with nasty comments have shown up on this site (on my first cat article, for instance) that I suspected you were behind but could not prove.”
I am not behind those at all.
“There is some group on Facebook called “Stephenson Billings is a Pedobear” which I also suspect you had your hand in.”
I have nothing to do with that, either. I don’t even know what a “pedobear” is. Why don’t you contact the creator of the group and ask if there is a Claire Snedeker affiliated with it?
“You have many, many time taken screen shots of my Facebook comments, photos, etc. and posted them everywhere.”
I won’t deny that. What point are you trying to make, anyway?
“Claire, the proof is there. Stop denying your obsession. Maybe you’re just having one of those bad days today, but there’s no need to go all haywire on me.”
You call it “obsession”, I call it “keeping tabs on a pedophile”.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
1
3:57 pm
Ever hear of “guilty by association” Billings?
If you have serial killer clowns,pedophiles,gays ,etc on your fb,then however you may see it,it remains to everyone else,guilt by association.
Do not deny that.
You are the wacko buddy,not claire or the comedian because they call you out on your bullshit.
Praise or Condemn:
9 
1
7:29 pm
//YOU are the one freaking out, throwing all these wild accusations, calling me a criminal and a pedophile, saying you’re contacting the FBI because of some article you read on a Christian website.//
She’s contacting the FBI because of a pedophile who promotes hatred, racism, abuse, and torture, and the whole time acts as if he’s in the right.
//You’re the one who lurks on my Facebook page, reporting me for the slightest things I’ve said.//
You’re the one who makes passes at her, and while insulting her at the same time.
//You’re the one creating petitions to harass me.//
You’re the one who types up blog posts to harass society.
//You’re the one who wrote to Atlantic Magazine to insult me.//
You’re the one who insults everyone whenever you post up a blog.
//You even wrote to Stephen Colbert to disparage me and call me a sex criminal.//
Uh, what? How the fuck did you come to THAT conclusion? Did Colbert mention this site on his show or something?
//I think you are obsessed little lady. I think you are dangerously obsessed and possibly mentally deficient.//
You’re the one with a mental problem, you retard. You’re obsessed with sexual themes and damning everything. You hate everything, but you won’t admit it.
//Or maybe you’re secretly infatuated and upset because I don’t return your affections?//
Pedo Stevie is a pedo. You’ve never had contact with a woman outside of your mother, have you?
//I really do not know but you need deep psychological and spiritual help. RIGHT NOW!//
Yes, yes you do Stevie, you need some SERIOUS help before you interact with society.
//You’re on the edge, all this sexual angst and paranoia and ramblings online and the death threats, the foul language!//
What sexual angst? What the hell IS sexual angst? All I see is a woman who’s pissed off at a chauvinistic pig who hates everything and wants to see justice be brought to it (you’re too much of a sub-human to be referenced as a ‘he’).
//If I were your parents, I would be deeply concerned for your well being.//
Christ you’re retarded, she keeps saying that she only shows her anger and frustration towards you, and let’s face it, who the fuck DOESN’T want to rip you a new one in so many different ways?
//Frankly, you sound like you’re just too emotional, too young… Maybe that’s just it. Maybe you’re really just too immature to be on an adult website.//
You’re 50-something years old and you’re too immature to be a productive member of society, the only person who accepts you are retards like yourself and your mother, who probably cries herself to sleep knowing that her son didn’t amount to anything and has become a terrible human being and a terrorist.
//Maybe it’s my fault partly for encouraging you and complimenting you.//
All you’ve ever shown emotion wise was hatred and sexism towards here, when the FUCK did you ever compliment her?
//Maybe I shouldn’t have tried to make you feel better about yourself, by saying I found your writing sophisticated and your thoughts intelligent, albeit far too liberal.//
All you’ve ever done is put her down, and criticize her and insult her, and called her childish. I’m sorry, but what was your point again?
//I was only trying to help you, engage you in a realm of spirituality and this is the thanks I get?//
You’re wanting her to get beaten by a guy because you believe that women need to be put in place and that they should enjoy it. You don’t want to help her or anyone, you’re a terrorist who wants to warp this country into something unholy and evil.
//“No good deed goes unpunished” as the saying goes…//
What good deed have you ever done?
//Well, I have always cared for you Claire. And I have always thought very highly of you. And I have always been committed to helping you. I am so sorry that you are erratic and emotional today. I know it will pass. God bless.//
It’ll never pass until you’re dead, and to be frank, I’m in agreement. You’re against everything that’s good, you give Christians a bad name, men a bad name, love a bad name, you’re nothing but a damn, dirty terrorist.
Praise or Condemn:
7 
3
9:14 pm
I think this entire website is a joke….
And that the creators like Stephenson Billings are actually just making fun of ACTUAL christian baised websites, and use this one to show just how stupid religiously biased arguments are…. But that’s just my own opinion and what I’ve summed up from looking at a few articles…
I don’t think anyone is this stupid (except religious cults with no exposure to other peoples opinions).
Sorry it just seemed like you were getting really upset by all this….
These site site definitely a troll site just to piss people off.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
6:48 pm
“I only want to love you, Claire, to help you find Jesus.”
Well guess what? I DON’T want you to. Did you ever consider that? Did you ever consider that I know what’s best for me, and you don’t? Did you ever consider that people don’t want random, creepy men from over the internet “loving” them? Have you forgotten that the idea of you loving me is the equivalent of your idea of Satan loving you?
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6:54 pm
“Stop trying to bully me. It’s not going to work.”
It’s worked before. Shall I remind you of your little temper tantrums?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8IAlcqGqnQ
Watch from 0:07 to the end.
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10:53 pm
Um…
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1:10 am
Lol a war heros right ? McCain a “fucking” WAR HERO
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6:55 pm
now, i haveto be honest. ive used a few of these… can i help it ifim a bit of a bondage bitch, despite being a TRUE catholic, unlike you, billings (this i base mainly on a few other articles youve written which ive read on this site)?
now, i almost couldnt even read the entire article, the sick minded way you worded it, it desgusted me beyond belief, and ive done a few disgusting things that most of you just would never agree with… EVER.
but the sheer fact that you arent condeming these devices of oppression whows that YOU are oppressive and that of a terrorist (a man who uses fear to get his point across, terrorism isnt restricted to religious slander like al queda, but in the case of billings, it is the sort of terrorism we have in question)
you show is some absolutely horrifying devices that stupid, cold hearted, religious fools created to create terror among the unsettled regions oof the east, as paganism was on the rise, and many were turning to it as a way to try and escape these devices that werent nessisarily using torture methods, but using these inhumane methods to oppress the people who were surrounded by slaughter and bloodshed of their neghbors and villagekin who were savagely tortured to deaf by mislead templars in the dark age of a corrupted church that is likely still very corrupted, especially if there are more people like billings here.
so, ive strayed fairly far off topic…. these devices, particularily the anal dohicky that would be shunted and opened within a guys ass, was also used to “rescue” pagans before they fully commited to it, then im sure a lot of other devices like it were used…. there was no0 use for these devices whatsoever, the only one that can be even giviena logical (but still just as wrong) use, is the chastity belt.
now, i have better things to do than foster my own burning at the stake by self rightious headfucks like you, Billings, and i hope i havent really offended anyone else, who matters… so in that, i hope billings looks at himself some time and realizes how he twists gods words… HEY! i realized something….
Billings, your posts on all your articles get more unsteady and off topic, lossing their bearing and showing you have got serious doubts about your own work, as you go along… like i said, you twist the words of god, you and the small militia of neonazi facists who are so fargone that you wouldnt recognize jesus if he were to come back, kick you in the bock of the head, so as t knock some sense into you, and condemn you to hell for the shit you spew, as he probably would.
seriously… the crap in your articles… igve it a break… if your a closet submissive, keep it there… if your open about it, like me, then use it in a way that wont make all of us christians look like the blood thirsty cutthroats that called them selves the church and body of the church that was opressed by false profets who wanted domination… kinda ironic… i dont dont mind domination, but when ian idiot like you starts this shit, and i know there are people out there who dont want you causing discrimination and cliches about true god loving christians, then it becomes personal…
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7:06 pm
All you people seem to have overlooked the fact that this article includes:
Graham Crackers
Cold Showers
Penis Cooler
A Parental Bell
Codpieces
Stop freaking out about one or two of the objects here. You’re showing an incredible, unnerving bias that is an affront to history.
It’s people like all of you who would censor history because it doesn’t fit into your “politically correct” happy mutlicultural lifestyle where everyone combs each other’s hair and butch biker dykes and leather queens have the run of the streets while hippies sell “legalized” pot on every street corner and hipsters wear girl’s hats and sleep all afternoon. Sorry but history is ROUGH and the truth is TOUGH! Get used to it. We have to be honest with our past, to understand where our future leads us. You nutjobs are way out of line here, this is a Christian site and I happen to believe very strongly that masturbation is a huge issue today.
I don’t know what kind of future you people envision, but I dream of one with HEART AND HOPE AND HONOR!
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7:16 pm
//All you people seem to have overlooked the fact that this article includes:
Graham Crackers
Cold Showers
Penis Cooler
A Parental Bell
Codpieces
Stop freaking out about one or two of the objects here. You’re showing an incredible, unnerving bias that is an affront to history.//
Wow, what a way to take YOUR OWN WORDS out of context.
//It’s people like all of you who would censor history because it doesn’t fit into your “politically correct” happy mutlicultural lifestyle where everyone combs each other’s hair and butch biker dykes and leather queens have the run of the streets while hippies sell “legalized” pot on every street corner and hipsters wear girl’s hats and sleep all afternoon.//
Fuck Stevie, learn what the hell a comma is. First off, no one is trying to censor history, you’re just trying to move the subject onto something else. Secondly, you’re the one who’s giddy with delight about the idea of parents strapping a device to their child’s penis that lets them know when he becomes erect at night.
//Sorry but history is ROUGH and the truth is TOUGH! Get used to it. We have to be honest with our past, to understand where our future leads us.//
Oh, we do, the problem is when assholes and retards like you come along and believe that shit like that should be instituted today. You claimed that all of these devices were great because they prevented people from masturbating and how regardless of the damages done with these devices, that they weren’t bad at all. You’ve used so many positive adjectives in describing these things that there’s no way in HELL you can say you’re against them.
//You nutjobs are way out of line here, this is a Christian site and I happen to believe very strongly that masturbation is a huge issue today.//
This isn’t a Christian site, this is a site full of trolls, and you’re the king of the writers here. You’re just a delusional bastard who believes that he’s the only one right.
//I don’t know what kind of future you people envision, but I dream of one with HEART AND HOPE AND HONOR!//
You dream of a future where you’re the ruler and everyone bends to your will. You dream that you’re Jesus and how you’ll become God, because you believe you can do better. You’re just an old fool with a complex disorder.
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7:24 pm
“Stop freaking out about one or two of the objects here.”
Chastity Belt
Spermatic Truss
Corn Flakes – you’re fine with them being shoved up girls’ vaginas?
Cod-Pieces – no boy should have his penis imprisoned in metal
Sexual armor – encasing one’s entire body to prevent access to the genitals is wrong on so many levels
Penis Sheath
Pear of Anguish
Testicle Taser
Penis Cage
Timely Warning
Hmm, that’s more than one or two.
Go kill yourself.
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2:48 pm
The Only thing I love in those is Graham cookie but no the way it’s used I love it as Food Nothing else
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12:55 am
Oh, I don’t know Claire – used with the proper consent, some of these could actually be a lot of fun !
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8:12 pm
Ok, is this satire? Because if it isn’t I’m a little weirded out. I understand the historical use of these objects, but what got on my nerves (and a lot of other readers) is the way you describe them. Claire listed your enthusiastic adjectives above in a previous comment, please answer straightly if those were sarcastic remarks or your true thoughts. Seriously, if this is satire it’s pretty damn convincing, including your comments above.
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9:22 pm
The pear of anguish was used for permanently tearing and shredding orifices. It wasn’t for inducing pain or “correction”. Those inflicted with this device died of infection while in intense pain within weeks.
Use of this device would be considered murder, which I believe is one of the top ten.
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10:56 pm
Okay, you know what? Let’s just all get together at my place, (Claire is bringing the tequila, Billings is bringing Twister,) and let’s just all have a big ol’ jackoff session?
Who’s in? (and what are you bringing?)
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1:18 am
I bring the Bible we need Tissue to clean ourself after
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12:58 pm
Bowers just called. He’s bringing some blow-up dolls and some Astroglide.
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2:21 pm
you dumb sick fuck. you are going to hell.
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5:14 pm
i can… get my hands on debatedly legal sex toys.. >.>
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5:42 pm
STrapon DIlDO is Fun as well and “futanari dildo and yes It’s dildo as fun as well
well fun watching it
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7:41 pm
I’ve always wanted to try the Fleshlight.
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8:15 pm
fleshlight looks interesting to watch… needless to say, im up for almost anything… my legs are a bit sore though… *cough* il supply the clips, roping and the like!
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9:21 pm
meow
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1:48 pm
Billings again proves that he’s an idiot and a freak.
Religious freaks such as Billings are like Christian “Jihadists”
Religion, like govt., is an imperfect synthetic creation and should be regarded as such
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2:07 pm
Great article. I learned something new about graham crackers today. For everyone that got pissed off about this article and attacked the author for what he wrote, apparently you forget that we have a little thing called FREEDOM OF SPEECH here in America. Not only is this whole site clearly a joke, but no one is forcing you to read ideas that you don’t agree with. Getting mad about what is said here and attacking the author is just as intolerant as you all seem to feel the author is being by advocating his viewpoint. So, in a way, you’re all being extremely hypocritical when you react so violently to the author’s ideas. By the way, I love how the author never breaks character.
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11:13 pm
FREEDOM OF SPEECH IN AMERICA here is INTERNET BUDDY
your constitution or Bill of right doesnt apply since it’s worldwide and tehre is thing that you should not said
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2:35 pm
Obsessed Christians are nothing but psycho,self-righteuos asswipes.
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9:45 pm
Hey! Did you know that a few of those are used as fetish play? Imagine, an anti-masturbation tool being used in a sexual fashion. Chew on that one.
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10:37 pm
I have been so informed since the publication that this is the case. I am not usually on top of the intercourse toy business.
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4:20 pm
Sometimes I’m on top of the intercourse business too. But sometimes I like to be on the bottom. And sometimes I like to do it from behind.
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12:57 am
This is a family website.
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4:07 pm
“Mommy Mommy! I was on a family website and this creepy old man wrote that I should stop masturbating or else he was going to shove a pear of anguish up my happy-hole! Is that true?”
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4:57 am
before you were saying how claire was to immature for this adult site
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7:27 am
You forgot circumcision. Not an invention, but started in the US for such reasons.
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7:32 am
Whoops, never mind. It was included with Kellogg’s.
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11:02 am
It is a subject I was considering, Bry. You have a very good point, but I was more fascinated with mechanical objects because they either look like interesting antiques or because they represent certain moments in technology. As someone else mentioned, when you go down the route of circumcision, you end up with genital mutilation and I really didn’t want to open up this controversial issue (though some people here did force it on me).
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8:16 pm
You’re fascinated by torture devices that were made specifically for sexual regions…Isn’t that a sign of a murderer?
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1:36 pm
While typing this, I regret it. For this waste of the gentetic pool should just be ignored. And this is not even the topic that steamed me the most. Seriously Stephenson! You should be ashamed of yourself. You and your way of thinking belongs in the dark ages, and its only because of the oppresion from the likes of you, that humanity is hundreds of years behind, technological, from where we could have been. Shame on you for that, and shame on you for shedding such bad light on christian people. I’m no selfproclaimed christian myself, but alot of the values that Jesus taught, I strongly feel and concur with. So if there is such an entity as a god, I bet, that he would rather see me in heaven, rather than some jerk like you, who is all about splitting people apart.
And whats with the deal, about you avoiding attacks on your statements, like a scared little boy, when the attacks are based on your quotes?
In the headline of this article you use the discription “Great inventions” anti masturbation devices! If thats not a praise, I don’t know what is, you twisted bastard. These are horrible torture devices, designed to inflict pain beyond your wildest dreams. But you know what Stephenson. I bet when you do your “charity” work with young men, you like to fondle them here and there. Yup, I said it and you should have that pear inserted into your “you know what” and see how you like it then. Damn, I can’t believe I just wasted 5 minutes cursing some stupid internet troll. Its so obvious that you’re a troll, even from just looking at your picure, you horrid old man.
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1:00 am
I don’t have time to answer each and every question posted here, sorry. Please don’t act so completely conceited when prancing around the internet, will you?
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2:53 am
No wonder your so grumpy all the time Billings. You have meat slicers attached to you dick. If it’s still there.
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4:36 pm
OMG! is the Writer insane, hell I struggle with unnecessary cosmetic surgery on male infants like circumcision. But Woe! these things are sadistic. I can’t say it’s shocking they exist, still I think it’s far better to teach people to handle there impulses with some restraint than to torture people into submission. Frankly I would rather teach a child that masturbation is a much better tool to curb sexual apatite in adolescence than carelessly engaging in intercourse.
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1:42 am
You’re anti-mbating but the pics you used for cold showers show sexy NAKED *gasp* people. Aren’t naked pictures considered pornography?
hmm…
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1:15 pm
billings
ive read quite a few of your “articles” … and you are the reason the world laughs at americans! your attitude sucks moosecocks!
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1:36 pm
Greatest inventions is in the title, and we’re supposed to know that you are not condoning these things. If you were going for a purely historical view then why did you include the part about how bad mastrubation is? The composition of your article indicates a problem (mastrubation) and a solution (those 14 things you love/hate). It would seem that you are a very toubled person (where you raped?) or a very bad writer, maybe both.
on a side note
This is what religious people do.
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2:24 pm
Hi,
I, as many others, disagree with your views. My only thought reading this was “I am so extremely happy my parents are sane” and I never had to go through anything like this. If there is a God and he created me this way, I am sure he wants me to enjoy myself and have a good time, and not go around feeling guilty all the time. How can I be a good human to others if I hate myself?
I am not sure if you approve of these devices or not, so I’m not going to attack you on that regard.
What I would like to know though, is if you are open for other possibilities than what the bible tells you?
Is it possible to reason with you, or are you just trying to teach us and not learn anything yourself? Is there anything in this world besides the Bible telling you what to do?
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4:48 pm
Thanks religion for your contribution to science.
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4:50 pm
Religion science is always the best science.
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6:35 pm
Another great article, Stephenson! Kudos, also, for putting up with the nay-sayers. (I wonder why they lurk here, on a Christian website, if they aren’t Christian; do they simply like to argue with everything you say?)
Masturbation is sapping the strength of this great country of ours; it’s a well-known fact that the founding fathers never indulged in this practice and even debated including their disapproval in the Constitution (it lost by a narrow vote).
I believe this practice is why we lost in Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan- our troops have lacked the strength to fight because they have sapped their vital fluids through this practice. It’s time to speak out!
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7:14 am
“I believe this practice is why we lost in Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan- our troops have lacked the strength to fight because they have sapped their vital fluids through this practice”
you’re a fucking moron.
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4:10 pm
And you’re uncultured. Go watch “Dr. Strangelove”. I believe he’s making an oblique reference to that.
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11:15 am
Jerkin off = ROBBING PROTEIN FROM THE BRAIN! LMFAO I heard a baptist tell his kid that one time…almost shit myself laughing…and let me tell you, God pants are super hard to wash shit stains out of!
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8:40 pm
Quite right, Stephenson. Resist the sins of the flesh!
I have always been a great fan of Dr. Kellogg. Both boys and girls should be circumcised so they will learn that their privates are no laughing matter and not theirs to trifle and fool around with at will; best as soon as they are extracted by able hands (women are unsuitable as doctors because their fingers are too thin and their nails too long to examine a lady’s privates–not that I am speaking from experience, I’ve never been down there) from the womb. The Lord giveth a foreskin, the Lord taketh it away.
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10:19 am
I think perhaps Mr. Billings and Lurlene would like to view this link. Highly educational, and rather relevant to the discussion, I believe. http://tinyurl.com/33casvc . It is rather long, I will admit, but if you can get through it, I’m quite sure you will enjoy it.
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2:04 am
This website is extremely funny. Being a straight, Christian doctor myself, I must admit that reading these “cleverly” worded, fictitious articles can cause serious psychological damage to young developing people everywhere. This article not only reveals the author’s moral short-comings, but also reveals his poorly developed understanding of simple political and biological concepts.
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12:38 am
I often read this website for humor but this one takes the cake so far.
It is unhealthy for someone to be unable to ejaculate for one thing.
They all look like tourture devices for me. It is my opinion that Stephenson Billings is intellegent enough to know that all this is non-sense he is just doing it for attention. As a Christian I will keep you in my prayers Mr. Billings.
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12:26 am
Hi Stephenson Billings,
As a man of the Lord I wish to talk to you regarding your post here. I agree that masturbation is a sin and should be prevented by any measure necessary. Which is why I have written to address my personal problem. I have these urges sexually and as I am against masturbation and I cannot marry, I was wondering if you would be willing to stimulate me to ejaculation yourself. You can do it however you like, maunally, orally, fleshlight, take your pick. It’s just when I see your avatar pic it really gets me randy. If youd like to come to confession i have it set up glory booth style. Please respond asap, as im blueballing just thinking of it.
Sincerely,
Father Duncan
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1:04 pm
glad to hear this steven billings is now in jail.
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8:39 pm
None of this website is serious… I simply cant believe it… I honestly didnt think people are really this stupid… I simply cant believe any of this is a real attempt at reporting news… Its like Christanitys version of The Onion… I really hope…
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9:04 pm
Dear Mr. Billings, one quick note:
Never in my life have I ever met a man so obsessed with sex and sexuality of other men… Makes me wonder if you a little Bi… Its ok, I wont judge…
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3:03 pm
Billings i think part from song “In the name of god” fits you:
captured in all you lies, fear is in your eyes,
creature who’s gone insane, your war is in vain
oh this part too
Run when its time to pay, fear consequence of your action
Reappear, when you’re almost forgotten
Dream of a world in peace, yet you cause pain and destruction
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12:41 am
I’m not gonna lie; this is the most hilarious thing I’ve ever read.
And with that, I’m going to masturbate just to piss you and your god off.
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6:23 pm
“History is tough and truth is rough”
yes Billing you are not a journalist truth is rough isn’t it?
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1:24 am
Facepalm.
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12:11 pm
Well the description for the Pear of Anguish is a little off to my knowledge of torture devices that was used during the time of the inquisition and the device was heated and inserted into a individuals mouth as close to the esophagus as where it was then opened to burn the back of the mouth and opening of the throat. Also most of these devices present a horrible level of potential fore being much more unsanitary then any act of masturbation do to the right of opening the skin in the genital area as well as exposing the body to excrement that would normally not be stuck to it. Also masturbation as been proven to lover an individuals risk of prostate cancer so no it is not damaging in a health care sense. Finally all devices that the article suggests to be worn well asleep are completely ridiculous, the final stage of a sleep cycle known as raped eye movement sleep or REM sleep causes electronic impulses that result in male erection, meaning if the person is a fully functional healthy individual able to achieve this level of sleep then the will no matter what they do get and erection and the deprivation of this level of sleep that such devices would cause would be much more damaging then the act of masturbation. Perhaps what the author of this article should be more concerned with, if indeed the soul’s salvation is his concern, is what would the implementation of torture of others and the denial and punishment of nature do to tarnish the souls of those who support and implement such thoughts.
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9:22 pm
Oh man, can people BE *THIS* GULLIBLE?! I haven’t laughed like this for a long time. Thank you Mr. Billings.
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9:23 pm
Oh, I forgot.
BABABOOEY to Y’ALL!
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9:04 am
Hahahah wow. This fat guy is a creep. I bet he masturbates all the time. He sounds like he’s gay. I read this for laughs.. this whole website.. I laugh so much. God can go suck a dick. man.. you people who right this shit are Fucking retards. I bet god hates you. You’re ugly and gross.. what kind of creation is that?
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9:04 am
Hahahah wow. This fat guy is a creep. I bet he masturbates all the time. He sounds like he’s gay. I read this for laughs.. this whole website.. I laugh so much. God can go suck a dick. man.. you people who write this shit are Fucking retards. I bet god hates you. You’re ugly and gross.. what kind of creation is that?
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7:06 pm
It’s Christians like you that make me glad I’m an atheist. Can’t you just go the Middle East and fight the Muslims in a crusade. It would provide the benefit of thinning both of those diseased herds. I don’t want to know your ignorant ass or your perverted idea of a god, and stay the hell away from my kids. It’s creeps like you who fill the rolls of sex offenders across the country.
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10:18 pm
are you serious? im a christian and i have to say everything here is terrible except the cold shower. these are all instruments of torture. were not in the middle ages anymore. grow a brain.
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11:20 pm
http://chzmemebase.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/memes-fry-can-never-tell.jpg
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5:35 pm
oh man, this have got to be a joke because it’s fucking hilarious man.
you motherfuckers are out of your mind, I can’t stop laughing at how insane you are man, this is not a matter of christianity, it’s a matter of madness (or SPARTA!)
but just, WOW
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6:11 pm
Ultra conservative, religious right wing freaks are what’s bringing this nation down. Independent party 2012 now. Youre no better then those extremist Islamics in the mid-east that deserve to be demolished by a B2 bomber.
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7:58 am
i dont know about everyone else.. but some of them… ‘tools’ look rather kinky…
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10:32 pm
I’m so confused, do this many people, who surprisingly appear to write intelligently not understand what a work of satire is, or does the site write fake replies to add to the satire of all of it.
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11:13 am
THERE DELETING MY COMMENTS! GOD IS SERIOUSLY ASS HURT! SILENCE THE OPPRESSOR!!! LMAO
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11:20 am
Sidenote regarding the peepee straight jacket…how are you supposed to take a piss???!
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9:33 pm
I masturbate every day.
Deal with it
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11:43 am
I’ll tell ya what is a good way to get people to stop masturbating.
Give them an article full of sick, useless shit, and a couple hundred comments of random junk to read through.
Mission accomplished sir…..mission accomplished.
Now excuse me as i get back to fapping.
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6:35 pm
This is clearly a joke. Thanks for the laugh. My mother used to tell me self-abuse was evil but it really is a part of the human experience and is delved into naturally. Experiencing pleasure does not make one sinful.
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11:20 am
Some might read this article and get aroused by all the torture/bondage/pain imagery. Some might even be flogging their chickens right now to the mere idea of the pear of anguish ripping someone apart. Or even ripping their private areas apart, due to Liberal trauma gained by going to public schools, as the Liberal agenda pushes BD/SM learning. That anything goes attitude, you know!
Are you trying to cater to the dungeon daddies and so forth? Or give people ideas? It might have seemed a good idea to show how filthy self-fingerers were subdued and controlled throughout the glorious Christian history of the world, but people are too visual for these savage, possibly lust-inducing pictures. There are two sides to this masturbation-ending sword, after all.
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10:10 pm
Am I the only one who wants to tie this guy up, force him to take viagra, and put him naked in a room full of hot nude chicks with just his right hand left untied? xD
But on a serious note, the bible says NOTHING against masturbation, only against fornication and premarital sex. Masturbating is healthy and could definitely keep a virgin from straying… God gave humans the ability to feel pleasure for a reason. The inventors of these devices and the author of this article are pure liquified shit. Not only do those devices prevent masturbation and sex, but they are DANGEROUS to the well being of whoever is forced to use them.
Masturbating is healthy, it relieves stress, boosts self confidence, and can keep couples dedicated to each other when they are apart and tempted.
-an indulger of self-love and heavy metal
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9:33 pm
I can think clearer and am actually more focused the day after a good round of fapping
It lets me focus on the things at hand instead of my hormones. And I’m a girl~
Wow I really enjoy all these articles, they make me lol. In fact I’d have to say I enjoy this site more than TheOnion.
I can’t believe how many people take this seriously though, SO. MUCH. BUTTHURT. ARGH
Even with the ad about the ChristWire book up at the top^
It has a direct quote from god “This book is as powerful as mine.”
….How do people not SEE that?
And I’m guessing if anyone who’s a part of this site comments back to me it’s going to be a serious ‘You’re going to hell for your sins! This is all serious’ blah blah blah lol.
Praise or Condemn:
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