Musician Jack Johnson Arrested
There is a hipster surfer and singer named Jack Johnson and he has finally been arrested for all his songs about wooing young girls and then smoking magic mint with his little thug friend Ben Harper.
It is about time we started to put these musicians behind bars.
Johnson has long been on the radar, using minor harmonics on a traditional Hawaain scale combined with rhythm guitar to draw liberal college students into a glaze-eyed spell.
Johnson’s music is all about wooing women and then hidden drug references, cleverly disguised as film-noire appreciation.
Any residential advisor for a freshman living facility can tell you the stats. Most frehmen males will buy a cheap guitar and learn how to play Jack Johnson’s very simple style.
They will sit around campus or any open common area, rolling their eyes around like a catatonic child with mild autism, all so girls will think they are engrossed in the music when in reality they are only wanting to do gross things with the girls.
College men have a 32% chance of a girl trapping them with pregnancy, and Jack Johnson’s music is a core problem. These young men get caught into the idea of being a ‘cool surfer dude with drugs and chicks’.
While all of these facts are horrible,there is one sad reality: it is mostly legal. Where Jack ran into trouble is when he started peddling his cds to children, spreading these dangerous messages. Let’s look at a few of his ‘children’s’ releases:
Upside Down
This is a song where Jack Johnson uses Curious George. While Johnson is only trying to peddle music meant for adults, he’s guilty for creating songs with subliminal, latent messages. Homosexuals eagerly exploit these songs to get kids, and Curious George is their second favorite weapon right after “Winnie the Poo Bear”.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqUdI4AIDF0
Johnson had to know gays could twist these lyrics and tell children it was okay, because it had a Curious Monkey on it. Gays all have a ‘curious monkey’ in their pants and they want everyone to play swing rope with it.
Look at a part of the lyrics:
I can feel a change in everything
And as the surface breaks reflections fade
But in some ways they remain the same
And as my mind begins to spread its wings
There’s no stopping curiosity
I want to turn the whole thing upside down
I’ll find the things they say just can’t be found
I’ll share this love I find with everyone
We’ll sing and dance to Mother Nature’s songs
I don’t want this feeling to go away
This song is scary. Look: “I’ll share this love I find with everyone”. Why are kids being encouraged to be promiscuous.
Then look: “We’ll sing and dance to mother nature’s song” – Advocating Pagan moon worship
Then there it talk of doing ‘curious things’ and ‘feeling don’t go away, upside down’ which is just more revelations of how gays are horrible and scary, trying to lure our children.
If these crimes were not enough, look at the next expose:
WE ARE GOING TO BE FRIENDS
This song sounds like a love song, so why is it written to our children?
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wo2OY_es5iM
Outrage! The lyrics here:
Fall is here, hear the yell
Back to school, ring the bell
Brand new shoes, walking blues
Climb the fence, books and pens
I can tell that we are going to be friends
Yes I can tell that we are going to be friends
Walk with me Suzy Lee
Through the park and by the tree
We can rest upon the ground
And look at all the bugs we’ve found
Safely walk to school without a sound
We safely walk to school without a sound
Well here we are no one else
We walk to school all by ourselves
There’s dirt on our uniforms
From chasing all the ants and worms
We clean up and now it’s time to learn
We clean up and now it’s time to learn
Numbers letters learn to spell
Nouns and books and show and tell
Play time we will throw the ball
Then back to class through the hall
The teacher marks our height against the wall
The teacher marks our height against the wall
And we don’t notice any time pass
Because we don’t notice anything
And we sit side by side in every class
The teacher thinks that I sound funny
But she likes it when you sing
Tonight I’ll dream in my bed
While silly thoughts run through my head
Of the bugs and alphabet
And when I wake tomorrow I’ll bet
That you and I will walk together again
Because I can tell that we are going to be friends
I can tell that we are going to be friends
Secret walks to school? Playing ‘bugs’ with strangers? He’ll lay in his bed and dream of Suzie Lee?
My anger is riled. No wonder when you see guys around campus, the fans of the music always look a little girlie and then even though they are men, they have no bass in their voices and sing like little constipated Nancy’s.
It is sad what happened to proper college music these days and I am so proud that there is Jack Johnson arrested for drug induced music.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Tiernan Kincaid
7:42 pm
So he was arrested for his music? maybe drugs, but not music. I mean what about the american rights you “love” so much, like free speech? Songs are speech, so thats not what he was arrested for, retaaaaahd.
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9:38 pm
He was arrested on the wrong accusation of tampering, they are supposed to be released, hopefully soon. I love his works. They are innocent and loving, and after all. Have you not heard ‘I love you and Buddha too?’ he is so accepting, and it is amazing. You ought to be disgusted at yourself for this.
I listened to his music all in second grade, at my Christian private school. And Jack is a tenor, no big deal, so are a lot of guys. I am sure that you at one time were a tenor too.
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10:50 pm
If I wasn’t so vehemently opposed to censorship, I would demand you be censored… Permanently.
You, whoever you are, are a fool. Pease go live in another country, or on another planet, just not here.
Idiot.
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1:38 pm
Where does christianwire find these degenerate losers they call “authors”???
Is this site for real???
C’mon, tell me this is just satire.
Can people actually be this demented?
After all, it is kind of hard to tell these days with all the fundaMENTALism and tea party crap in this country.
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2:34 pm
I don’t know but seems this author hate Love peace and the likes
Oh and mother nature is not the Moon it’s actually our planet
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4:41 pm
Is that a curious monkey in my pants? Or am i just happy to see this story?
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9:30 pm
You’re searching for things and twisting the words in the songs to find them when, in reality, there is nothing sinister to be found. These songs are innocent and are simply telling us to slow down and appreciate the world around us and you’re twisting them to look like some sick agenda. I would like to call you an idiot, but of course, you would find some way to twist my insult into a compliment.
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10:18 pm
I LOVE MY CHRISTIANTY AND I LOVE ALL KINDS OF MUSIC
PLEASE TELL ME (IN YOUR HEART OF HEARTS – AT LEAST IN YOUR QUIET TIME)
YOU REALLY DON’T BELIEVE ALL THE STUFF YOU WROTE ABOUT JACKS MUSIC
[YOU WERE JUST LOOKING TO FILL A DEAD LINE OR CREATE UNNESSESARY CONTROVERSEY] WOW -THIS IS A REAL STRETCH
PS-MUSIC WAS MEANT TO WOO WOMEN
ANOTHER THING……..
GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT
November 12th, 2010
It emerges from the investigation of Jack Johnson, not the popular musician but the county executive of Prince Georges County, Maryland at the end of his term.
Johnson and his wife Leslie were arrested Friday and charged with witness tampering and destroying evidence related to the federal investigation of a pay-to-play scheme. Johnson is accused of accepting money from developers in exchange for getting their projects federal funding
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4:02 pm
I’m a little surprised to see this article in a webpage that is supposedly committed to Christ, who tried to teach people to live like Him, not the closed-minded oppressors He spoke out against. “And as my mind begins to spread its wings” – “I’ll share this love I find with everyone” seem like pretty Christian messages to me. Only those more interested in dominating through fear and hatred would see drug and sexual messages in those beautiful words. Jesus taught love, obviously, but also unity, though the Christian message has been twisted into derision from nearly the outset. Please read the words of Jesus with an open mind and heart, and you may one day begin to love thy neighbor as thyself. Love thy neighbor as thyself. Hard to twist that one, I hope.
(or read the Bhagavad Gita, the Essene Gospels, the teachings of the Buddha, the Koran, the Tao Te Ching, etc, a deep knowledge of any of which will bring a greater understanding of one’s own faith).
I wish that all beings may be led from darkness to the light.
jp
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4:26 pm
okay, so id like to point out a few things here. jack johnsons music, is just that. MUSIC. a free expression of emotions and thoughts. i personally think that you are digging far to deep into his lyrics, the lyrics that speak of love and happiness. subliminal messages may be or may not be there, but they are subliminal, and not meant to be seen. oh, and whoever posted this, did a horrible job of research, “we are going to be friends” was a cover…..it was written by jack white of “the white stripes”. dont you have better things to do in life than shit talk a great artist? go write an article about some real crimes, like rape, murder, or theft. and while your at it, listen to some jack johnson and(i think i speak for everyone when i say) CHILL THE HELL OUT.
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9:06 pm
Haha, I’m glad NO ONE else supports you and your accusations. I love Jack and he has been one of the BIGGEST influences to my music. I’ve grown up listening to him and never had the urge to “woo ladies”, be “promiscuous”, ‘seduce gay children’?
or glaze over. Relax, yes. Damn me, I love to relax :p haha. Really now. Thank you though. I laughed. A LOT.
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9:54 pm
This is ridiculous. There must have something wrong with you. To be this thoughtful, and find this much fault in such innocent and playful lyrics. Jack is a great artist. Someone who finds joy and shares it. NOT in a sexual context. There’s something disgusting about you.
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2:32 pm
who ever wrote this you’re fuckin stupid. this isn’t the devil’s music. so how about you get the dildo out of your ass and wtf do you think kids do in college just study and sleep? of course they party hard and have lots of sex.
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8:59 pm
Alrighty.
Let’s kick things off with the line
“I’ll share this love I find with everyone”
What’s bad about teaching kids to share?
What’s bad about teaching kids to love their friends?
Oh that’s right!
Nothing.
Mother Nature’s song?
I think by that he means that they can go play in the woods or something, which is something I did quite often, and I turned out pretty alright.
If you’re angry at Jack Johnson for writing drug-condoning music, why not be angry at The Beatles, or Bob Marley? Hell, they wrote their music while ON drugs.
Also, Jack Johnson didn’t even right “Fall is Here”. It was in Napoleon Dynamite like seven years ago.
Also, what does Jack Johnson do at his concerts, and when he’s not working on music?
Oh yeah!
He works to take care of the earth because so many people shit on it by polluting. And at his concerts, he has lists of things you can do to reduce your pollution at a concert.
So chill the fuck out, you self-righteous asshole.
Lastly, there is nothing wrong with gay people, and they don’t all want to steal little children and have their way with them.
There are enough creepy old guys out there like that already.
P.S.
You’re a douche bag!
P.P.S.
How’d the Rapture go?
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6:44 pm
OK…ur a douche
jacks a chill guy
ur some fucked up church toolbag
this is why im an aetheist
because some people cant just put the fact that theyre catholic aside for a minute and realize that everyone shares this planet…its people like you that give the church a bad name. so get it out of your head that youre better than everyone else just because you have a damn cross around your neck…
i would much rather be like jack johnson than you…he makes great music…you make people angry…
P.S. Evolution and the big bang theory? yea…nuff sed
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