• Secret Chinese Spies Caught Disguising Like Geriatrics, Beware the Old People

    November 5, 2010 12:31 pm 27 comments
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  • Chinese Spies Dressing Like Geriatrics

    For months, we have feared the worst from the Chinese menace.

    We have witnessed China building up their arms and warships.
    We have seen the Chinese monolith of darkness steal our nuclear technology, so they can pay us back for crushing them during World War 2.

    The Chinese murder their daughters, so they have more foodstuffs to supply their all male army of nearly 1 billion. The Chinese own American debt, but will not stop until they feast upon American flesh and innocence of your wife and children.

    While all of these travesties are but the tip of the ominously looming iceberg of Chinese communism — an idealogy so vile, so evil, it latently lies within high seas of internation relations, ominously looming and threatening to rip apart the hull of humanity — there is something so far more scary. So threatening. So heart ripping it will strike you with cold fear.

    The life of your friends and your family is at risk. Death. Darkness. Chinese.

    The Chinese are disguising like old people, and they are already infiltrating our good West.

    In the shock image above, you see a captured Chinese spy. On the left, his natural face. On the right, his old man costume.

    China is launching a new infiltration campaign, where they build up power and rank in America by assuming the identity of older people.

    China is launching a new infiltration campaign, where they build up power and rank in America by assuming the identity of older people.

    Witnesses attest that the man boarded the flight in Hong Kong, a nation-city that the Chinese forcefully stole from the British only months ago, under the unction of Jimmy Carter.

    The city is now the hosting ground for Chinese spy training. The inhabitants, forced to use their English TOEFLA skills to infiltrate America. Flight officials on the plane, bound to British Columbia in Canada, noticed that the old man ‘had delicate, Asian looking hands.’

    The skin tone of the man was something officials have admitted they’ve seen ‘time and time again, hundreds of times’. There is no concrete number on how many of these Chinese spies have sneaked into the Americas.

    As if this were not scary enough, under interrogation the man has requested international protection. This is a request made by high-ranking goverment agents, showing his importance to China’s international strategy of secret infiltration that uprises to a crescendo of death and destruction for your friends and family.

    The man’s costume would have taken at least 20 trained Hollywood makeup artists and nearly $1,000 USD to create, showing the sophistication of these Chinese costumes. Look how real it looks.

    How could we ever tell. The next time you are at Sunny Pines Retirement Home, visiting grandma, how do you know the spry lady at the bingo boards is not actually a Chinese martial arts death master, patiently waiting for the day to strike.

    The next time your daughter works night shift at the local nursing home, who says that “Milton Fensheimer” is not really “Bolo Chingjaw”, veiled as a geriatric innocent but really a primed Chinese killer waiting to ravage her innocence or worse innoculate her with Asian spawn seed.

    Friends, the Chinese are crafty and their levels of subterfuge unprecedented. They will wait any length of time to carry our their plans, and now we see they are infiltrating our lands with geriatric costumes.

    We got luckly on catching this one, as officials report he was smug enough to remove his costume in flight and return from the lavoratory as a young Asian male, which an air marshal instantly noticed.

    How many have we missed, however? How many old men at the deli, angrily returning their soup, are really dissheveled because they can’t slurp with chopsticks. How many new old ladies at the church bake sale really have a raffle of poison lined up for your community?

    We must take warning. The Chinese are trained to hate America and taught dozens of ways to kill us before they can even fully walk.

    This Chinese agenda is terrifying. Beware each old person you cross, for it could be a mystifying Chinese in disguise.


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