Are You Addicted to Jesus?
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrrBEIyanjQ
People get addicted to new things every single day; television, videos and pornography, what more is there to say?
The addictions offered by Satan are many and the consequences of these poisonous drugs are realized by few, especially our youth.
Our world continually falls into a state of chaos and unrest, because the minds of people — especially our youth — are clouded in the turbulent, expansive sea of secular culture.
A cursory look into the popular items of today reveal the machinations of Satan’s hands. Within the mind, body and spirit of America lurks a great darkness; one bred in the same smelting pots that cook up “crystal meth” or “anime”,the Japanese codeword for pornography.
Much as a devil’s food cake does a diabetic, or a sweet salty pork flank does the heart attack survivor, the wafting smells of addiction cause the body to lust for things which will only destroy it in the end.
There is one addiction in this world that can cure diabetes or those with a broken heart. Do not think I speak of just speak of a physically broken heart, friend. Today, we are talking about an addiction that is free for all and that can cure any ailment you face in life.
Are you troubled by financial woes? How about a broken relationship or marriage? Do you seek to find peace in your life, or relief from a drug or alcohol addiction that has brought you to the brink of self-destruction?
If any of these things are true for you, I have a new slang that is old as time itself. It has always been available for you, no matter what street or locale you’re in. I ask you today if you want some of what I have to give you. I’m a dealer and so are many other; but you never have to see us to get addicted to the best thing you will ever have in your life.
Friends, today, I encourage you to take the biggest hit of a new addiction for your life. I call it “J”. And the one question you need to ask yourself is,this: Are you A to J?
Be blessed and spread the good word.
-Brad Gould-
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: uReport
11:01 pm
For us in the older generation, it’s always a bit thrilling to see the brilliance and light of the young. I do pray that the future brings something positive to this world, though at times all of us are guilty of getting overwhelmed by the negative. I guess that’s what happens when you’re surrounded by 24 hour news channels and the internet. What I’m trying to say Bradley is that it’s really nice to read something so heartfelt. And it’s wonderful to see that you’ve aimed your message at the young people, speaking to them in a language they will understand. God bless.
“There is no fear in love; for perfect love casteth out fear.” –1 John 4:18.
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11:06 pm
A2J It has a very nice ring to it!
Well done.
Kind regards,
BB
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11:36 pm
One toke over the line Sweet Jesus. It’s the holy trinity, champagne, reefer and Guinness.
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11:41 pm
this article is S2E (silliness to entertain)
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8:42 am
use to jesus can cause brain damage, bitterness, a wish to destory the world, a hate for others, discrimination, rape of young boys and a complete unwillingness to live in the real world. use with causion.
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2:40 pm
1. Have you ever prayed to escape your problems?
People often turn to god to avoid real life situations that they are incapable of coping with because they lack the will or emotional strength.
2. Do you suffer from depression because of your bible use?
Jesus will drain the spirit of positive energy and make people generally unhappy. They begin to distrust every form of tradition and morality they encounter and they turn their backs on reality.
3. Have you lost interest in physical exercise and hard work?
Jesus Christ seriously reduces the motivation for healthful bodily activities so necessary for a vital, successful life. Such inactivity also makes the abuser antisocial and lonely. Remember, Jesus was a jew.
4. Do you suffer from pimples and acne even though you’re no longer a teenager?
One’s skin is an indicator of what’s happening on the inside, and Jesus Christ cannot escape the scourge of frequent pimples.
5. Ever woken up the next morning and regretted a sexual experience?
Jesus Christ lowers the inhibitions and believers regularly engage in perverse acts of copulation with men of the cloth. Guilt, regret and shame are common and there is no way to avoid this when one is brainwashed in Christ worship.
6. Can you remember the last time you turned down a bible study class?
Addicts are incapable of saying the word, “no.”
7. Do you ever laugh inappropriately in Chucrh?
Hallucinogenic episodes of Jesus Christ corrode the brain to such an extent that the believer fails to navigate social situations properly. They live deep inside their heads and laugh randomly to the shock and dismay of those around them. It’s an embarrassment.
8. Do you feel that Jesus will enhance your enjoyment of gospel music?
Music bands like POD are notoriously connected with JC Obsession, for in their meaningless strummings the addict finds a soundtrack worthy of schizophrenia.
9. Have you ever hurt your children or your spouse while preaching the word of god?
Violence is a sad reality of the Jesus lover. If you’re religious and want to beat someone, the best idea is to lock yourself in a closet or bathroom until you “calm down.”
10. Do you own multiple bibles, Creationist Literature or Darwin propaganda?
If you’re so immersed in the lifestyle that you need to purchase biblical paraphernalia, that’s a problem. How far will this go? Will you borrow money to buy special editions or bomb an abortion clinic?
11. Ever made a late night prayer?
The danger here is that many of the Jesus lovers are located in inner city neighborhoods where robbery and other crimes are rampant. Are you willing to take that risk simply to feed your obsession?
12. Do you choose your friends based on their belief of Jesus?
Friendship can be a deep and powerful thing, but when it is based solely on a shared addiction it is hollow. Take a look at those you spend the weekends with: would you really be willing to endure their personalities if they didn’t have a supply of Bibles?
13. Have you ever been hospitalized for defending Jesus?
This may seem like an obvious question, but it bears asking. Take a good, hard look at yourself!
14. When you pray to Jesus, do you put yourself in situations that you would consider dangerous when sober?
Are you hanging out in church after hour or violent ghettos? When you pray, are you miles away from the drugs that truly love you? Ask yourself why!
15. Have you ever called in sick to work so you could abuse the bible?
A common problem for any kind of addict, putting indulgence ahead of proper work will eventually lead to eternal damnation.
16. Are you familiar with the terms: John 3:16, Intelligent Design, Mary Magdalin?
The layperson is not so educated on biblical terms. If you think you’re not an addict, but know all these words maybe you need to think again.
17. Do you suffer from frequent hallucinations?
Have you imagined your skin crawling with spiders or Satan spying on you from the old tree in your yard? The paranoia is only going to get worse and shows that you are on the road to damnation.
18. Are your fingers burned or discolored?
The people who love you will notice how the cruel habit manifests itself on your body. You think you can hide, but you can’t. You are a walking signpost of the dangers of addiction.
19. Do you ever have unexplained moments of grandiosity?
A pompous attitude is a side effect of loving Jesus and while it is hard to detect when you’re high on god, others around you will notice and warn you of this. Pay attention to your friends when they warn you about your arrogance!
20. The most important question of all: Would you give up God if Marijuana asked you to?
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11:38 pm
If I were addicted to Jesus, I wouldn’t have given Eve that apple.
Great job with Lilith though, she is one HELL of a woman.
I would also like to dispute that I did not create all these vices, God did.
He created you, thus your mind and the ability to masturbate.
He created marijuana and it’s effects when lit.
He created sexual beings who are also social by nature.
What I did was simply free you from the twisted tale told by yourself.
God never said hate thy neighbor, but should war be waged on you, war shall be waged back. Those who serve me will not fall with their hands on their heads. We fight for our lives and live them while we can, using them to their full potential and ignoring those false warnings preached unto us by men. We obey gods and only gods. There is a divine power, and it is not represented by flesh and blood.
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