Just Say No to The Phish!
Crisscrossing the country to promote a dangerous mix of communism, cybercrime and drug culture, notorious rock band “The Phish” is pushing American communities to the breaking point. This sad fact can be seen in the headlines so commonplace they no longer shock us: “Phish Fest Nets $81,000 in Drugs; 1,200 Arrests” or “Police Seize $1.2 Million Worth of Drugs From Phish Fans” or “Phish, Drugs and Rock ‘n’ Roll.” As towns and cities across this nation continue to be torn apart by this havoc, it’s high time we get educated about the undeniable threat our children are now facing.
Many successful musical acts like Britney Spears, Gwen Stefani and Josh Groban profit handsomely from studio albums and videos played on cable television stations. What The Phish does is far worse. More than any other band out there today, they have devoted countless hours and incredible financial resources to crossing the country in search of new converts. They are continuously “on tour” performing at venues large and small, prowling for intimate personal contact with the youth of America. Any group of people that makes such a calculated effort to insert itself into the lives of the innocent should surely raise the eyebrows of concerned parents. For The Phish, their modus operandi is to induce the naïve with promises of sexual pleasure and peer acceptance. Like serial killer Charles Manson, they lower inhibitions through hardcore drug use. As with false prophet Jim Jones, the price for such kicks is a complete dedication to their larger agenda.
One concerned mother recently wrote to Oprah Winfrey:
So I think my son is hooked on drugs. He just turned 18 and says I can’t control him anymore. His favorite band is Phish and I’ve seen some of the movie’s he has of this band and they look like a drug band.
He says he’s been waiting his whole life for this moment since I guess they recently reuinited (after the singer was caught with heroin!)
He says he’s sick of being a noob (whatever that means) and he needs to see his first Phish concert this summer or he never wants to speak to me again.
It’s so heartbreaking, he’s at the age where he will do whatever he wants to do since he doesn’t have to ask my permission. He doesn’t look healthy and I don’t want him going to this concert. I did some research on the band and they sound like bad news.
I’m about ready to slash his tires on his cars its making me that upset.
A terrifying story indeed!
A closer look at this group’s music proves the implicit endorsement of drug culture that The Phish engages in. There are ballads with titles that celebrate narcotic experimentation such as, “Marijuana” and “Christmas Without Weed.” And then there are those who have secret messages difficult to decipher at first glance. One of their most famous works, “Prince Caspian” is centered on cocaine use and even opens with the noise of a bubbling crack pipe. The lyric, “the children in the fields all sowing seed and chaffing” is a clear reference to the cocoa growers of Columbia. “Bouncing Round The Room” tells the horrendous story of a man who brutally beats his girlfriend around his apartment while on a drug binge. “The Mango Song” talks about running out of marijuana supplies, while “Twist” celebrates a hardcore LSD trip. And the list goes on and on.
The concerts themselves are the foulest orgies of self-indulgent self-satisfaction seen since the tumultuous sixties. When first ushered to their assigned locations in the arena, these “Phishheads” will immediately scope out the area for the most pliable drug abusers within range of their tapping fingers and “Hey dude” calls so that they may score communal soft drinks and “drags” from poorly-rolled blunts. As the evening grows later, they will abandon any sense of camaraderie to lifelong friends in order to scheme closer seats and vivacious women. Eventually the night reaches a fever pitch of exposed breasts and mushroom peaks and the terrifying hippie dancing will begin. Naked, they writhe and commingle with erotic intensity as guitarist Trey Anastasio descends into confusing jam sessions. Children of all ages will tear off their clothes and jump in muddy mosh pits, kicking and penetrating each other with little compunction for common sense. Young girls have their precious bodies traded among eager, breaded elders and teen boys are forced into nightmares of sexual congress. Even regular Phishheads will admit that masturbation is shockingly common in their “scene.”
The music itself is demeaning at best and criminally violent at worst. For mature listeners, it will make no sense. There is an incomprehensible absurdity to their lyrics, like the loudest ramblings of a derelict beaten down by years of alcoholism and homelessness. The instrumental sounds they produce violate all the requirements of high art. There is no rhyme, no reason. Meter, particularly in the hands of keyboardist Page McConnell, does not exist on their stage. Quite simply, band members mash up violent drumming with amateur guitar screeches at such high speeds there is no doubt that heroin is doing a guest performance with the group. (Transvestite drummer Jon Fishman and shifty-eyed bassist Mike Gordon are clearly the most guilty of these auditory abuses.) Their noise seems intentionally calibrated to overload the central nervous system with false messages of terror and orgasm. If there ever were a soundtrack to schizophrenia, this would surely be it. No wonder there is a direct link between psychosis and fans of The Phish.
Of course, drugs are irrevocably connected to this world. How else could one find meaning or even rhythm in their perverse sounds? Recently, authorities made a cursory sweep through a concert and seized:
“70 tanks of nitrous oxide, over 550 grams of marijuana, about 135 grams of mushrooms and more than 100 pills of various prescription narcotics, along with brownies, cookies and Rice Krispies treats laced with marijuana. Police also confiscated 21 cookies containing LSD.”
Other narcotics common in this crowd include: ecstasy, methamphetamine, cocaine, psylocibin, MDMA, hashish, heroin, Adderall and Klonazapin. Mix them all together and drip them into the bloodstream continuously for five years and that’s the mental state of your average fan.
Hedonism continues unabated in the parking lots after these shows. The band pays for tanks of hospital nitrous oxide to be wheeled out so that the hordes of regulars struggling with their symptoms of withdrawal can be managed. As people chug this controlled medical substance, their bodies are subdued with painful cardiac fits. These masochists seem to enjoy it, however, and their friends will find obscene entertainment in watching a comrade flopping helplessly in the dirt. Those too high to return to their parent’s homes will go anywhere nearby to sleep. In dirty motel rooms and even in the backs of old schoolbuses, these people will give their bodies over to painful patchouli sex parties in exchange for a wet pillow on which to rest their heads. (Rumors that roadies and band members regulary crash these events to demand gratification have garnered the attention of police detectives.) In other parking lot vehicles, puffs on pot pipes are bartered for hasty fondlings. Grungy tapestries may hide the worst of these acts from passing eyes, but the cries and splattered fluids on windows are enough to tell the horrific story. For the frustrated, reckless masturbation in Port-O-Johns is the highlight of their evenings. It gives them a small sense of control to harass their aching phalluses to the beat of drummer Fishman’s incoherent thrashings.
This after concert scene is an ideal hunting ground for pimps, ex-cons and manipulators. For the young, so eager to impress and be part of the “in” crowd, it is a terrifying conundrum. They undergo incredible pressures to extend the hippie party beyond a single night at the concert. Tie-dye shirts and cheap trinkets are sold on every corner. Little gas burners of organic foods light up. Marijuana clouds pass overhead. Crude shrines to lead singer Trey are constructed out of falafel wrappers and whippet canisters. And these weak young men and women are encouraged to take the leap into a full “on tour” lifestyle, abandoning family and faith as they pursue never-ending psychedelic trips and dreadlocked sex games in the nearby public parks.
One area of this culture that demands closer inspection is The Phish’s involvement in cybercrime. It may explain the tremendous growth of their empire and how these endless tours are financed. A few years back, investigators noticed a new type of theft across the internet. In a secret nod to this rock band, it was named “Phishing” and involved high tech identity fraud. The people behind it often dig through household garbage, looking for any documents that contain personal information like social security numbers and bank codes. These are then used to create fake drivers’ licenses or credit cards. Clearly, the gypsy-like lifestyle of Phishheads, moving from town to town, digging through other people’s garbage and making easy friends, assures that this a natural outlet for those who seek money outside of gainful employment.
As we take a broad look at this culture spreading to our communities, the question must be asked: What is the ultimate goal of The Phish? Clearly, there is a strong current of communist sympathies in this crowd. These people delight in shared seating and organic products. They demand that their members participate in a “green” lifestyle, despite the fact that it undermines American industries and flies in the face of traditional consumerism. They oppose wars and hard work, instead preferring drum circles and perpetual protest. They even aim to include fringe Christian groups, falsely claiming that the hippie lifestyle conforms to Biblical teaching. A closer look reveals a hidden hierarchy among these people. Older “trust fund hippies” occupy the power elite, using tactics not unlike those employed by the Politburo in the Soviet Union to monitor and control the unruly masses of newbies and the chronically overdosed. With relentless psychological warfare, these elders demand sacrifices to the cause, while at the same time secretly indulging in the plentiful supply of supple young women and fresh drugs that their status affords them. Rarely do they ever open up their discarded front row seats, hotel room suites and air conditioned luxury cars to the common man.
As for the band itself, one can only hypothesize where their broader agenda is leading. It goes without saying that they employ the very same tactics common among drug gangs, pedophiles and cult leaders to spread their dangerous message. If their activities are leading to gun violence, child rape or mass suicide, should we not do everything in our power to stop it?
http://www.dailypress.com/news/dp-local_phisharrests_0309mar10,0,1347704.story
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Stephenson Billings
Stephenson Billings is an Investigative Journalist, Motivational Children's Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector all in one special, blessed package! Facebook me here or Fanmail me: StephensonBillings@yahoo.com !
9:06 am
Everything about these erotic pics make me so hawnee! I took a fish out of the fish tank and put it up my poopie hole. While it was shit writhing around in my poopie hole I had several turdgasms! MMMMmmm…
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
247 
19
5:15 pm
I hate too ruin it for everyone, But look at the rest of the site before you get too upset. You will be pleasantly relieved. Just as I was in the Porta-Potty in the lot at the “The Phish” show.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
39 
10
6:45 pm
I find it interesting that you people continue this childish, absurd campaign to discredit me. It’s painfully clear I have hit a nerve with this article and I can only hope that your parents and the authority figures in your lives take notice. Can you honestly tell me that something good comes out of this depraved and indecent lifestyle? Do you know how many children run away from good Christian families each year to follow The Phish? It’s rather sad and epidemic and I don’t take your silly internet threats too kindly. Please save the immature jokes for your next parking lot liaison.
Hot debate. What do you think?
23 
242
6:57 pm
“The lyric, “the children in the fields all sowing seed and chaffing” is a clear reference to the cocoa growers of Columbia.”
Dear Bill,
I am not familiar with the cocoa growers of “Columbia”. Could you please inform me further?
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
49 
1
7:42 pm
Stephenson,
You’re a fucking ignorant hick that rapes little children.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
133 
8
4:22 am
I am not a pedophile and I find your comment insulting. Any accusations against me were due to a misunderstanding and I was ultimately vindicated in that matter. In fact, I continue to be a Christian Investigative Journalist and a former high school football athlete who is widely respected in my field(s). My record is certainly unimpeachable.
I realize that you people are all very young and prone to lashing out when the mature around you try to lend you some advice, but this nonsense is out of control. Why don’t you take a breath and try to understand what I’m trying to say? Why won’t you open your hearts and let me love you?
Hot debate. What do you think?
8 
70
6:17 pm
//I am not a pedophile and I find your comment insulting. Any accusations against me were due to a misunderstanding and I was ultimately vindicated in
that matter.//
“I don’t touch little children, I just make them suck on my cock and tell them it’s Jesus’ love that’s going down their throats.”
//In fact, I continue to be a Christian Investigative Journalist and a former high school football athlete who is widely respected in my field(s). My record is certainly unimpeachable.//
Seriously, is the only thing in your life that you have as a mental trophy the fact that you were a football player in high school? You’re not an investigative journalist, you certainly aren’t Christian, and you bring up your football history so much, that there’s nothing else for you to hold highly. You talk about other people wasting their lives, but at least they aren’t 53 year old virgins who never had a girlfriend and who’s only accomplishment in life was throwing around dead pig skin (which, ya know, is considered a sin according to Leviticus), and who are stuck at home underneath the roof of their mother’s house, wasting time by bitching about things they don’t like.
//I realize that you people are all very young and prone to lashing out when the mature around you try to lend you some advice, but this nonsense is out of control.//
You don’t give advice, you tell people that they’re worthless and challenge their opinions. You tell them that they’re wrong without saying why you’re right, you assume you just are. I’ve seen children put up better arguments for shit compared to you, and I mean elementary school aged children. You’re like a baby who does nothing but whine and whine until someone changes your shit-ridden diaper.
//Why don’t you take a breath and try to understand what I’m trying to say? Why won’t you open your hearts and let me love you?//
You don’t know what love is, you can’t understand love, and you hate the idea of people loving one another. Stop lying to yourself and admit you’re gay and admit that you’re nothing but a hypocrite. Once you do that, then maybe you’ll get some common sense.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
63 
3
7:07 pm
“And it came to pass in the fourth year of Jehoiakim the son of Josiah king of Judah, that this word came unto Jeremiah from the Lord, saying, Take thee a roll of a book, and write therein all the words that I have spoken unto thee against Israel, and against Judah, and AGAINST ALL THE NATIONS, from the day I spake unto thee, from the days of Josiah, even unto this day. It may bet hat the house of Judah will hear all the evil which I purpose to do unto them; that they may return every man from his evil way; thatImayforgivetheiriniquityandtheirsin. THEN JEREMIAH CALLED BARUCH the son of Neriah; and BARUCH WROTE FROM THE MOUTH OF JEREMIAH ALL THE WORDS OF THE LORD, WHICH HE HAD SPOKEN UNTO HIM, UPON A ROLL OF A BOOK. And Jeremiah commanded Baruch, saying, IAM SHUT UP; I CANNOT GO INTO THE HOUSE OF THE LORD.” –Jeremiah 36:1-5.
Hot debate. What do you think?
3 
39
12:53 pm
So, the reference to “all the children in field sowing seed and chaffing WHEAT”…in fact the whole song…is a reference to Prince Caspian, Return to Narnia, a novel by C.S. Lewis, and a movie to which many parents here have probably taken their children. see here (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prince_Caspian). The bubbling in the beginning is far from a “crack pipe”…maybe the writer should actually read the book.
Yes, Phish is unfortunately associated with drugs and drug use. But you should also know that there are the same dope smokers at Jimmy Buffet, Neil Diamond and Rolling Stones concerts. The fact is many artists have used drugs…Billy Armstrong used heroin very often, even during performances (in fact, during one performance falling off stage because she was so stoned). But that doesn’t mean that all their fans are users. In fact, there is an organization of Phish fans who have pledged NOT TO USE DRUGS OR ALCOHOL, called the Phellowship (http://phish.net/faq/fan-organizations).
I am an executive at a national professional services firm, and I am a Phish fan and have been to several concerts. While it is a rock ´n roll band with some debaucherous activities, it is far from a cult or communism-spreading band. This post is so ridiculous, I´m surprised I´m actually responding to it. If you are a good parent, then you won´t have to worry about your kids going to a Phish show and getting blitzed. My dad can say that…he was a good father.
I know almost all readers here are overly christian (like allah-allah-fly-a-plane-into-the-world -trade-center muslims, you guys are far from ¨normal¨ here, and are actually scarier than the former). I am sorry for your loss of life, for God hears nothing that you say. Even if he did exists, which–I won´t get into it–he surely would spite the writers here.
And lastly, here are a few Phish phans…maybe they are the devil too!
Tom Hanks (actor)
Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Tommy from “Third Rock From The Sun”)
Matt Morris (major league pitcher)
Steven Wright (comedian)
Fran Drescher (“The Nanny”)
Phil Jackson (NBA coach)
Stephen King (author)
Matt Groening (“Simpsons” creator)
Kevin McClinchy (major league pitcher)
Ivanka Trump (model, rich kid)
John LeClair (NHL hockey player)
Bill Walton (NBA legend)
Jeremy Shockey (NFL player)
Eddie Kaye Thomas (actor)
Jason Biggs (actor)
Corin Nemec (actor)
Jim Carrey (actor)
Keri Russell (actress)
Danny Tamberelli (actor, “Little Pete”)
Ben & Jerry (of Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream)
Jerry Seinfeld (comedian)
Mayim Bialik (actress)
Mike Judge (Beavis And Butthead/King Of The Hill)
Pat O’Brien (the sports announcer)
Chelsea Clinton
David Letterman
Alyssa Milano (actress)
David Faustino (“Bud Bundy”)
Tiger Woods (golf)
Jennifer Love Hewitt (actress)
Chris Hardwick (tv host)
sources:
Newsgroup thread: PHAMOUS HEADS? January 2003
http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&threadm=b0aa0df1.0301031516.7e6c5837%40posting.google.com&rnum=1&prev=/groups%3Fhl%3Den%26lr%3D%26ie%3DUTF-8%26selm%3Db0aa0df1.0301031516.7e6c5837%2540posting.google.com
Newsgroup message: “NY Times Article and Tom Hanks” January 2003
http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&selm=auvr03%245dh%241%40bob.news.rcn.net
Newsgroup thread: Celebrity Heads… May 2002
http://groups.google.com/groups?dq=&hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&threadm=20020507144501.00812.00008319%40mb-bg.aol.com&rnum=1&prev=/groups%3Fq%3Dg:thl898412664d%26dq%3D%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26ie%3DUTF-8%26selm%3D20020507144501.00812.00008319%2540mb-bg.aol.com
Newsgroup thread: Celebrity Phish Fans (?) April 2000
http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&threadm=38EA7A4C.3027%40erols.com&rnum=1&prev=/groups%3Fhl%3Den%26lr%3D%26ie%3DUTF-8%26selm%3D38EA7A4C.3027%2540erols.com
Newsgroup thread: “Anybody see any celebrities at Big Cypress?”. January 2000
http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&threadm=20000103165425.12446.00000110%40ng-co1.aol.com&rnum=1&prev=/groups%3Fhl%3Den%26lr%3D%26ie%3DUTF-8%26selm%3D20000103165425.12446.00000110%2540ng-co1.aol.com
Newsgroup thread: Celebrity Phish Phans, April 1997
http://groups.google.com/groups?dq=&hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&threadm=19970408172801.NAA21224%40ladder01.news.aol.com&rnum=1&prev=/groups%3Fdq%3D%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26ie%3DUTF-8%26selm%3D19970408172801.NAA21224%2540ladder01.news.aol.com%26prev%3D/groups%253Fq%253Dg:thl26392921d%2526dq%253D%2526hl%253Den%2526lr%253D%2526ie%253DUTF-8%2526selm%253D19970408172801.NAA21224%252540ladder01.news.aol.com
Newsgroup thread: PHISH Sighting!!! July 2002
http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&selm=20020726141623.09115.00000949%40mb-ch.aol.com
Newsgroup thread: Celebrities who like Phish? June 1998
http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&threadm=1998060503400300.XAA28739%40ladder03.news.aol.com&rnum=1&prev=/groups%3Fhl%3Den%26lr%3D%26ie%3DUTF-8%26selm%3D1998060503400300.XAA28739%2540ladder03.news.aol.com
Newsgroup thread: Who are famous Phish fans? August 1997
http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&threadm=19970814012600.VAA06815%40ladder01.news.aol.com&rnum=1&prev=/groups%3Fhl%3Den%26lr%3D%26ie%3DUTF-8%26selm%3D19970814012600.VAA06815%2540ladder01.news.aol.com
Newsgroup thread: Celebrity Fans at Deer Creek, July 2000
http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&threadm=01cf81cc.3004ae54%40usw-ex0102-014.remarq.com&rnum=1&prev=/groups%3Fhl%3Den%26lr%3D%26ie%3DUTF-8%26selm%3D01cf81cc.3004ae54%2540usw-ex0102-014.remarq.com
———
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
42 
1
8:05 pm
first and foremost, i do not like most of phish’s music. that being said, you have to be out of your christ addled mind to think that these are amateur musicians as referenced in the article. i could go on and on about the formal music education that the men in this band possess but i’ll leave their success to settle that argument.
you make it seem like phish invented drug use but drugs and music (and sex for that matter) have been inextricably tied to mainstream music for the last 60 years, actually quite a bit longer but that number will do for the purpose of this argument.
to read your article and realize that there exists a cohort so misguided but so willing to preach to others is alarming. internet scams, communism and anti-american conspiracies? it’s hard to believe any rational adult in the world could even stomach this inane banter but alas here we are. if you really think hippies are evil what about he lies, violence and sex crimes perpetrated by the church. there are monsters among us everywhere, you should do your best to avoid them, no join the as you have here in this ‘article’. i can write down a bunch of random, though completely hilarious, crap and call it a story about THE phish too.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
140 
5
11:29 pm
It would be funny if these psuedo-christians were not so stupid and to completely lack any sense of humor.
May they all be touched with the noodley appendage! FSM save us!
Praise or Condemn:
12 
3
7:55 am
As I stated in this article, I believe the ingestion of massive amounts of drugs is the only realistic explanation as to why audiences tolerate this music. It’s rather sickening if you listen to it sober and at home on a Saturday afternoon as I have tried to.
Hot debate. What do you think?
7 
90
9:15 pm
Religious views/faith r every1′s private business…4 u to write such an ignorant article judging something uve never experienced. & I don’t think Jesus would approve of your negative attitude, or the fact that u have major issues with being an attention needer. There is help for that, a therapist would benefit u greatly. I really hope u get the help u need from a psychiatrist real soon & stop letting jesus down by being dishonest & judgemental u whacked out cult leader
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
2:31 am
Comedy gold! thanks for the laughs.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
118 
1
10:58 am
Only a fan would refer to them as “the Phish”
great troll though. Probably one of the best out there.
Praise or Condemn:
21 
3
11:28 am
WHO EVER WROTE THIS IS THE BIGGEST MORON IN THE WORLD. FUCK YOU, YOU CHRISTIAN FUCK! PEACE LOVE HAPPINESS AND PHISH!!!
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
47 
7
4:16 am
Please don’t type in all capitals. It’s a real turn off.
Hot debate. What do you think?
12 
23
12:52 am
No one was trying to turn you on, Stevie. No one would even WANT to turn you on
Praise or Condemn:
5 
1
1:07 pm
anybody want to set an over/under for the number of blowjobs bill has given for ‘pipe hits’ at phish shows? nobody tell the poor bastard that we share that shit for free!
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
39 
5
6:35 pm
Stephenson,
Ya, that weekend i came down from heaven and took you to the The Phish show was supposed to be a secret. I thought i told you to keep the part about “Any group of people that makes such a calculated effort to insert itself into the lives of the innocent should surely raise the eyebrows of concerned parents.” because it kinda incriminates us too. But otherwise excellent work, you are my star pupil. Soon we will meet again, possibly in the Port-O-John next time you masturbate.
Peace,
J.C.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
51 
4
7:59 am
Why blaspheme?
Praise or Condemn:
4 
11
1:02 am
Going a little far, there. Funny, but still. A little too far.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
2
8:35 am
shame on you sir!
you have no clue what you are even talking about.
first off its phish… not “the phish” your making me crazy with that so if non elce i hope you get the name
right now.
you packed this one full of lies. i dont even know how you came up with some of the nasty ideas you put out at truth.
i have been a phish head for over 15 years and have only seen a small bit of the monsters on the lot you clame run all of it.
i must ask? how many phish shows have you been 2? my guess is non.
it is people like YOU that drive kids out to do drugs and have sex. not phish. i know cuz i felt like my mom was the one typing your lies.
lucky for me i got as far from”christans” like you that i could. so i am back on track.
i was able to feel your hate as i read. thats not christ like at all. i am a phish head and i got love for you and feel sad for ya. i dont hate
you as you do us. sorry if we like organic food and dread our hair. i was under the idea this was the land of the free.
i ask that you keep your smut to yourself to try and save yourself from being the butt of what is a huge joke now.
have a good day and keep your medeoker propaganda to yourself.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
36 
5
1:53 am
Ok I will say this.. it was the most hilarious article I have ever read in my life. I have never laughed so hard EVER, you are clearly one of the biggest idiots to walk the face of the planet. First of all its Phish, not “the Phish” you make it sound like a disease. Nitrous is not funded by Phish its the nitrous mafia who do it and there at more shows OTHER THAN PHISH in the lots. Quite frankly any concert you go to there ARE going to be drugs, weed, naked people, and degenerates. Thats just life. I have never hear of most of the bull shit happening at a Phish show that you put in your article, and if you dont like Phish clearly you have no taste in music. They have been around for DECADES so they cant suck that bad. Why dont you try to experience life and go to a phish show THEN rewrite this article. “This after concert scene is an ideal hunting ground for pimps, ex-cons and manipulators” – words of wisdom from you.. true fact YOU PASS THOSE PEOPLE ON THE STREETS EVERYDAY and if your so christian I hope this makes you think.. what do you think those people do when they get out of jail? They start going to church because “they found god” so I hope you think of that Sunday morning!!
Praise or Condemn:
9 
3
12:14 am
Mr. Billings,
I bet that 99% of what goes on at a phish concert is not half as depraved as you do behind closed doors. Who out there wants to vote: Are ther more Rapists and child molesters in the Church or at a phish show? I never seen a phish fan on tv b/c of child molestation. Just bout weekly for the church. Enjoy your Child Porn Billings……..
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
31 
3
12:39 pm
Billings, you are a shmuck who’s discredited himself. Your ignorance, your xenophobia, your complete and utter lack of grace, compassion, or reason are out of line with your supposed bullcrap morals. I wouldn’t be remotely surprised if you kept a treasure trove of child porn and fantasized about sucking a cock now and then.
You not only need professional help, you need a serious life lesson in reality. But you’ll just continue to live life in only the most narrow frame of reference… scared, clueless, and hopelessly stupid.
Praise or Condemn:
17 
4
3:36 pm
The foundations of a free market society imply that people are free to choose not only how they spend their money but also gives people the freedom to make decisions as
to who they would like to be friends with and how they will spend their time. You are correct that there are communistic tendencies within this group of people as there are
with many others including christians. Your claims as to the style of music are completely your own opinion of which you are entitled to but must require no one to agree with.
As to claims of “The Phish” stealing children from your so called “Good Christian Homes” through use of drugs and sex, your claims are totally biased as you are blind to the
activities of these kids when they are not around you. I will guarantee that these activities are taking place in their parents absence and their actions are more so influenced
by their peers than a band with whom they have most likely never met. Song lyrics are like poetry and your allusions to drugs and what not are simply your opinion, many of
which could be argued from a number of points of view. Just as you have used this cite to bash the lifestyles of others, there are plenty of internet cites used for the bashing
of the christian community. I myself am a Christian and attended a Christian university however I do not choose to force my religion on anyone. I feel as if it is their own
decision to make and respect what they chose for who am I to tell someone else that I know what is best for them. Continue supporting your fellow Christians in life and in
religion and forget about casting your one judgements on others.
Praise or Condemn:
16 
1
7:26 pm
Do I know how many people leave Christian families to follow Phish?
Actually, I have had my team of scientists calculating this all afternoon.
The answer is 1.2 million TOO FEW.
Praise or Condemn:
14 
1
12:56 pm
Mr. Jesus Freak,
To begin, you should be aware that you have yet to call this band, Phish, by their proper name….some investigative journalist you are. Next, let me point something out to you: our past three presidents have all admitted to smoking marijuana, and two of them admitted to doing cocaine (especially your beloved George W.). Moreover, if you think Phish is what causes the drug “problem,” this country has, you are as ignorant as you are a fool. Further, it is apparent that you know absolutely nothing about music. Phish is so widely liked and listened to because of the magic they produce on stage. They take songs and improvise the jams to a genre of music that has nothing to do with the songs original form. Most importantly, their ability to listen to eachother and alter their playing is outstanding.
Maybe, instead of raping little boys and praying to your imaginary Jewish “son of God,” you should wake up, join the 21st century, and realize that nobody cares what you have to say. Every comment on this page either belittles you, makes fun of you, proves everything you have to say fallacious and stupid, and that you have no followers. You are not an investigative journalist, you are a jesus freak with an internet connection and a brain the size of a tyrannosaurus rex. I highly look forward to the day Phish’s legal team successfully sues you for your liable and defaming remarks, and I hope that some day you will emerge out of your brainwashed state of mind, and become a productive part of society.
It is people like you that cause this country to be laughed at. You are an ignorant fool.
Have a nice life
Praise or Condemn:
18 
3
6:50 pm
Wow, the conspiracy theory nutcases have really come out of the woodwork on this one! President Bush never used cocaine. That is the dumbest old lie I heard ten years ago. Why won’t you liberals let it go? Why can’t you move on from President Bush? You hippies are still so obsessed with him! You blame all your life problems on that poor guy. It’s getting embarassing and isn’t it about time you take responsibility for your own selves? Get your life on track, get a job, enroll in addicts anonymous, get out of the house at least!
I am truly astonished who pathetic you people are, and you in particular Bob. Your shrieks of “libel” and “lawsuit” betray a certain lazy, self-serving mentality that got this country in trouble many times over with your trial lawyers and class action lawsuits, pushing medical care costs into the stratosphere. You seem to critically unaware of the US CONSTITUTION! Never heard of the Bill of Rights? Freedom of Speech? The necessity of the Fourth Estate? Are you an imbecile or just a jerk? Scream lawsuit all you want, you sad little man, it only makes me laugh! You are the one who belongs in Jail. (Hint: Sarah Palin 2012!)
Hot debate. What do you think?
3 
34
2:30 pm
Obviously you have not heard of the movie “W” if you think George Bush never did drugs. I could go on and on about all the crap he did since I’ve researched it, but it would take up too much of my time. If you think the government is actually going to let Palin run for president then maybe you’ve been to a few too many Phish concerts yourself. She thinks we’re friends with North Korea. Even my mentally retarded cousin knows we’re not even going to be related in any way with North Korea.
Then we come to the fact that you look like a crazy Christian extremist by throwing silly bible quotes at everyone. Phish did not start the drug craze, and I know at least more than a few Christians who like drugs. If anything, Christians are more like authoritarian socialists than communists themselves. You can’t make people think the way you want them to by posting stupid stories on irrelevant topics. Get a life and do something productive.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
2
1:33 pm
Beautifully done sir! The article and the comments alike are pure comedy gold!!! It is amazing how hastily people respond and defend themselves into a hole. Once again, comedy gold!
Praise or Condemn:
8 
1
5:23 pm
Sir, you are a fear-monger who is looking for any excuse to blame adolescent indiscretions on “rock music” rather than realizing that the behavior of children is a result of the parenting style under which they were raised.
Phish, 100%, absolutely, caters to the hippies of my generation. I fail to see what is wrong with that. They don’t go around shoving drugs down the throats of children. These kids already do it. They already want it. They see no other means of satisfaction because their parents SCREWED UP.
According to parents in the 60s, the drug counter-culture that defined that generation would have led to the end of mankind as we know it. Instead, those same teens and young adults who dropped acid and snorted coke and smoked pot in the late 60s and early 70s are responsible, intelligent adults now who look upon their childhood as an amazing time in their lives where they lived their lives and learned from their mistakes.
Sir, I will admit completely that some kids take things too far. Some kids don’t understand the importance of responsible use versus reckless abuse. Some kids will ruin their lives on drugs and alcohol. But, sir, some adults take things too far. Some adults don’t understand the importance of self expression during adolescence. Some adults will ruin their children’s lives by restricting their self discovery with overly harsh rules that will forever rob them of what childhood really has to offer: a free pass to make an insane amount of mistakes that help them learn to deal with life while gently being guided my their parents.
Parents should be tour guides in life. Parents should lead their children through the wilderness of childhood and adolescence, offering key information here and there and making sure no one strays too far off the path, but still allowing them to experience the wild nature that wilderness holds.
Parents should not be prison guards, dictating every second of every day and enforcing their personalities on their children. Parenting like this only causes the children to pine for freedom every day and wait for the first moment to experience life, often having to use rebellious and dangerously extreme antics to feel that freedom.
When you post articles like this, the parents who have these children only exacerbate the issues their kids have by taking your fear-mongering to heart. So in essence, the article you wrote with the intentions of preventing the “evil” from spreading is actually feeding that evil.
If you really care about children and people, which I believe you do, you will educate yourself on the psychology of the human condition. Otherwise you are only doing more harm than good.
Praise or Condemn:
16 
2
6:54 pm
“Let the women learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.” –I Timothy 2:11-14.
Hot debate. What do you think?
3 
44
6:30 pm
you done goofed
Praise or Condemn:
4 
2
7:21 pm
hahahaaaa! dude did u really expect to put something like this up and get anything positve out of it??? ha thats just retarded. i mean i’m sure its phish tearing apart our nations youth and not a shitty parenting problem or anything…but thanks for the entertainment tho this shit is funny as hell!
ciao!
p.s. don’t all of u guys drive around w little fish symbols on the backs of your cars…? u wouldn’t want the youth to go get all confused about what type of “phish” you’re supporting. just sayin…
Praise or Condemn:
5 
1
7:40 am
Stephenson, you’re a child fucker? Eeeeeew!
Praise or Condemn:
5 
2
7:18 am
my parents sir? im 25 years old, and you dont know anything about the band or what your talking about. you sir are a mindless drone who wants to take what make other people happy away from them. personally i feel sorry for you, because i meet more adults that like phish than “children with parents”, and thats not the only reason that i feel sorry for you.. get over it and go find something else that you can point your finger at.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
7:41 pm
I am a professional who holds a license that states I am competent in my field of work. I have been a phan for years…..
This is the funniest article I have ever read….thanks for the laugh!
Praise or Condemn:
5 
0
8:05 pm
LMAO…you got me man. hysterical…you are really pissing people off with this..but i guess that was the point.
peace
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
1:37 pm
Stephenson, I cannot believe you were a high school football athlete! That’s amazing man! Unfortunately you are an ignorant hick, in fact the most dangerous part of any Phish lot are the crazy christian groups that steal young children and bring them onto their bus and then to their communes. You have no life, and your penis is most likely small. Good luck and stay up kid, you’ll make it through.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
10:54 am
Ok you know this is lies, DO you realy think that the lies you told would go down in some of america’s bigges venues. You are wrong and for this I hope you burn in hell for smearing the names of good people!
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
10:15 pm
Stephenson Billings, I usually wouldn’t take any time out of my life to comment on such an article. However, you could be the most ignorant misguided individual I have ever come across in my life. First off, the band is named “Phish”, not “The Phish”. If you had any intellectual capacity you would have realized this before writing your pathetic article. Secondly, we live in a country that is suppose to promote individual freedom. This gives citizens the right to listen to and enjoy any music they damn well please, regardless of the perceived meaning of the lyrics. I also hate to burst your precious little bubble, but if you had ever taken time to educate yourself you would have realized that religion is something of personal choice and belief. There is not one religion our population is bounded by; especially your disgusting take on Christianity. I suggest that next time you write one of these ridiculous articles you think again because you make yourself look like a heathen.
On second thought, maybe you should smoke some weed, relax, listen to some of PHISH’S DAMN GOOD MUSIC, and open your disgustingly perverted mind to the reality of life. Who knows, you may even have a good time for once in your sad life.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
10:13 am
I would first like to point out that the band’s name is “Phish”, not “The Phish”. Secondly I was a troubled youth and went on Phish tour at the age of 17 for 6 months. I found that the society at these concerts were no different than any other gathering of highly concentrated youth in America. While growing up I was heavily involved with my community church. We went on church missions throughout the United States, Mexico, and The Dominican Republic. While attending these “missions” I was witness to the same activities as at a Phish concert. You can not blame the band Phish for the use of drugs, sale of drugs, deaths that happen due to drug use, and you can especially not blame the band for children leaving there Christian families. Phish is one of the most innovative bands musically of our time. Yes there are drugs at Phish concerts, but guess what your neighbors have drugs too. If you really want to gripe about drugs use in America be my guest, but don’t blame it on a band. That is a cheap shot, and a cop-out. Blame the US Government for allowing drugs to continue to seep into our towns and cities. Blame the Columbians and other cocoa dependent countries for flooding our streets with cocaine and crack. Blame the Asians for heroin, and blame yourself for not being a better a parent to your children. This post is obviously a bleak effort to yet blame another source for America’s youth’s problems. Get a clue people, stop taking this ridiculous banter seriously. Bands don’t make people do drugs, drugs make people do drugs. Exploiting a band to make an article for yourself is easy to do. Why do you think there are so many music magazines, and web forums about them. If there was no music the world would be in fact boring. So stop the war on music, and focus on the real problems of the world. LIke war, famine, the black market, and other serious global affairs.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
12:58 am
My daughter lived back east with her mom. At 16 she started going to Phish shows and at 17, her senior year in high school she left home to follow the Phish around. When she was 18 she moved out here to California to live with me, her dad. She went to a community college for a couple years excelling in physics. She then worked her way through UCLA and although it took her much longer than the kids with money she graduated with a BS degree in Computer Science and Engineering. She is a good young lady with some good values.
Her dad, me, is an old hippie and I used to take her to Grateful Dead shows when she was little when she would come out to visit.
There are a lot of good kids at the Phish shows like there were at the Grateful Dead shows. I first saw the Dead in 1966 and have been to lots of concerts until 1993. In all that time I have never seen one fight at a Dead show. They were good loving kids with values our society could now used far more of.
Don’t be too quick to judge.
“Judge not, and you shall not be judged.”
Luke 6:37
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
4:47 pm
You are a moron. You didn’t even get the name of the band correct. Maybe you should do some research first.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
10:10 pm
In all honesty Mr. Billings, it might do you some good to go see a show. The phish community is a very positive, quiet and docile community. Never have I seen or witnessed a phish phan actually hurt or bother anyone. Everyone is really quiet and they like to dance and smile…what else would anyone want to do?
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
2:48 pm
this article is too funny!! i loved reading it while i listen to “the phish” and smoked some weed i rolled up in a piece of the bible and ripped a bong filled with holy water i stole from the church down the street.
p.s. its phish… no article. just like you should have never had an article. if you’re an investigative reporter you clearly forget to investigate because this is soooo far off the truth it might as well be called conservative christian fictitious propaganda. phish isnt the one corrupting the youth- its extremist christian douche bags like you that are corrupting the youth. maybe you should actually go to a phish show sometime… you might be surprised to learn there has been a lot less hate at phish shows then you can find in the pages of your best selling fiction novel called the bible
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
3:11 pm
I started my week going to church, then went to work and paid my bills, then went and saw 2 rockin’ Phish shows, and then went back to work again.
How many Phish shows have you attended?
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
11:42 am
MRS. Billings, you are clearly a repressed, self loathing, BALD child molester who has nothing better to do but slam something you don’t understand. You are also an extreme right wing Christian which is the same as being a militant Islamic terrorist. You are a tool of the lowest use. Enjoy your large ever expanding collection of hate mail and boy on boy kiddie porn.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
4:47 am
I think what surprises me the most is that when this article says, “Do you know how many children run away from good Christian families each year to follow [sic; The] Phish?” it doesn’t take into account that many of these ‘children’ are young adults over the age of 18 that have lived their entire lives in socially & culturally restricted environments because ‘it’s the Christian way.’ Which means that they’ve been sheltered to extremes that would shock many who grew up in mainstream America, i.e., the U.S. where you read the books you want, listen to the music you want and travel within a few hundred miles of home — unattended by parents or guardians — because you are a trusted individual who has been encouraged to develop their own sense of independence. Teaching your children to develop their own fundamental common sense is a time-honored tradition amongst parents who support education beyond high school and want those same older teens to attend university with an open mind — not one that has been stifled by an entire adolescence bereft of travel, musical & artistic education, responsibility gained through volunteer work & civic duties and a love of literature. I’m a little curious as to what the author would make of my high school summer AP English required reading list: The Book of Genesis from the Old Testament (any version,) Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John, Exodus, Revelation, Job & Psalms of the New Testament, and novels by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Sartre, Dostoevsky as well as Beowulf. And that’s from the mid-’90s…from the time I started attending Phish concerts with my friends. They were so much fun! And that’s not from some “trust fund hippie” school, rather one of the best public schools in the U.S. for the past twenty years according to ‘U.S. News And World Report.’
The author also suggests that the lyrics to ‘Bouncing Around The Room’ describe “the horrendous story of a man who brutally beats his girlfriend around his apartment while on a drug binge.”
Judge for yourself:
“The woman was a dream I had
Though rather hard to keep
For when my eyes were watching hers
They closed
And I was still asleep
For when my hand was holding hers
She whispered words and I awoke
And faintly bouncing around the room
The echo of whomever spoke
And I awoke and faintly bouncing round the room
The echo of whomever spoke
The place I saw was far beneath
The surface of the sea
My sight was poor
But I was sure
The sirens sang their songs for me
They dance above me as I sink
I see them through a crystal haze
And hear their sweet sound bouncing round
The never ending coral maze
The crystal haze
And hear them bouncing round the room
The never ending coral maze
Then before and now once more I’m bouncing round the room
That time and once again I’m bouncing around the room”
A drug binge? How about swimming? I like swimming, but when I open my eyes underwater, it’s not crystal-clear, it’s definitely more like a crystal haze…and I don’t do drugs. To me, a critical interpretation of the lyrics would conclude that the lyricist was writing about a dream he had first of a woman, and then of beautiful mermaids that were talking & singing to him and how beautiful the echoes were as they bounced around the walls above the pool, where he was swimming. I’d like to ask the article’s author if he’s ever been in a public pool and heard how the square walls and ceramic tiles bounce every tiny noise into layers of echoes that surround one’s head every time a breath is taken above water. Pretty neat, eh? But then again, I’m not sure that the author even believes in physics as applied to acoustics — sound is a wave, as is light (most of the time!)
Refuting every seriously odd statement that the author has put forth regarding the band, their lyrics and the habits of their fans would really just be a waste of time. Since it seems that any other comments have been cut off, as if he doesn’t want his views to be questioned, I’ll be surprised if this one makes it out whole. Granted, some of the previous comments are rather childish and don’t get to the heart of the matter; the delusions held by the author about any topic that he just can’t seem to wrap his imagination around because it would clash with his beliefs in Jesus. I suggest that instead of responding with drivel, we as readers just withdraw in pity, leaving him to find another topic to poke with a stick and see who will come to its defense.
Happy Phishing!
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
4:14 pm
Phish is not making Christian kids run away from home. It is the family that is making them run away. I think it is irresponsible for any christian family to blame other outside sources for their own kids running out on them.
This is not the first band to make this headway and they are definately not the last. It is insecure people who think that Phish and many more bands to come is as threat on society. Satan only lurks in your own fears. WE must learn to accept what is and not burn someone on the cross because we think God should. Who are we to judge…
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
3:36 pm
I do understand some of the concern of parents not wanting their young children to partake in needless drug activity and crazy sex parties. But I believe as a Phish fan and a christian that the points made in the article are false. Children do not run away from christian homes to follow Phish because Phish is recruiting “followers”, I believe they run away due to the oppressive nature of some christian homes, and Phish has a message of inclusion, love, and acceptance of ALL types of people, not just Christians who believe what they believe. It is true that there is drug and alcohol abuse at these shows, but it is also present in a lot of Christian homes also, so people in glass houses should not cast stones. And I beileve statements like this one is exactly what is wrong with society today ” Clearly, there is a strong current of communist sympathies in this crowd. These people delight in shared seating and organic products. They demand that their members participate in a “green” lifestyle, despite the fact that it undermines American industries and flies in the face of traditional consumerism. They oppose wars and hard work, instead preferring drum circles and perpetual protest. They even aim to include fringe Christian groups, falsely claiming that the hippie lifestyle conforms to Biblical teaching” It seems that if you want to live a life with “shared seating” and world without poluted water and air for your children than your Obviously a Communist. And if you want 1% of the Population to have 90% of the wealth in this world and for people to die of starvation while we build 10 million dollar mega churches so God can have somewhere to live than your obviously a christian. I do belive that Jesus came to tear down the confines of the old temples and to remind us that the true temple of God is US. So love eachother, reach your hand out to your brother, not to judge him but to show him the love and compassion that Jesus gave his life to show us.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
10:58 pm
We get upset because you demonize these 4 people that you dont even know based on the activities of their fans. This is the type of yellow journalism that should be censored by the FCC (maybe that was the focal point of another one of your masterpieces) Only half of these pictures are even of the band, and the ones that are shown dont do much to credit your point. Investigative journalist huh? How many shows have you been to champ? Im sure with the booming motivational children s party business now-a-days, its hard to pencil in many shows. It upsets me to know that people will read this and actually believe the nonsense you’ve spewed on the internet. How did you conclude that col. forbins assent is an allusion to the communist manifesto? (safe to say you are not very comfortable discussing gamehendge) “Dont criticize what you cant understand”
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
12:58 pm
I wonder HOW many kids lives have been ruined by church? If you mom and Dad make you go to Church what good is being done? Sounds like a control thing to me!!
I know many people who watch music and dont use drugs. Wow! Crazy concept?Are all you Church Goers Stoned on Jesus when you go to a Cristian ROCK Concert? They tell you too put EVERYTHING in the hands of God!!What good will that do if you’re getting Raped at The Phish show? It is called personal Responsibility…You have none and I feel sorry for your family. Being controlled with the fear of Hell is so much better?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
10:08 am
Alright, first off it’s “Phish,”, no “The” required. So right off the bat, you don’t know what you’re talking about. 2nd, I’ve seen Phish 7 times and I have yet to see orgies or public masturbation of any type. Just about any concert you go to where formal wear isn’t required you’ll find drug and alcohol abuse; they go hand-in-hand with live music for most people, and it always has. It’s individuals like you that bash what you can’t, or refuse, to understand that make this music worth checking out. Most of the youth in this country are drawn to things that they’re told to steer clear of, so if any of those young’uns are reading this article, you’re drawing them in direction. Next time you decide to release your mindless dribble to the public, do a little research or maybe go to one or two “The Phish” shows and experience it for yourself before you make any assumptions or write an article spewed from the mouths of concerned parents who, like you, haven’t a clue.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
12:39 am
Hey man, a summer after i went and saw “the phish” which is essentially a few good guys playing the same instrument they have since they learned how and making songs out of this seemingly boring life that we all live in, the reason behind their touring to “convert” people is because they dont make enough money off mtv which should be your real concern, and very rarely make a video, its not a problem that people enjoy live music, back to the story, the summer after i saw them i was babtised then guess what SAW EM AGAIN with the friend that lead me to christ your being a hypocrit and a moron, and i can say this because christians can judge other christians unlike you who is ridiculously accusing so many people and making an art seem like a religion, sure there are crazy people out there and they may be at phish shows, but man ive seen them before and been to their “heart” and you my friend are way off, i was with college graduates and professionals of many things, go ahead and make your life about the discredit of something out of the ordinaries effect on the nation of america, now as far to go ahead and say they are comparable to charles manson is absurd you cant literally think your telling the truth and sound logic is what you know when you make a statement like that, the drugs are everywhere, and have been way before yours and my time, its not like phish throws them off stage. Get A Life
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
12:26 pm
Listen, why can’t you be happy for people who are enjoying their lives? If you don’t want to listen to rock and roll and party like a rock star, then don’t do it. But just because you don’t partake or understand, don’t label fun loving bands like Phish evil. Really, if you want to point fingers, just the admit ion that you are a Christian associates you with a religious group guilty of countless murders-i.e. the crusades, ever heard of those, Mr. I need to make a false point to scare parents around the country? I have been to countless shows, have never seen any violence or sexual harassment of any kind. Maybe you should experience a show for yourself before you overwork that crap-box you call a mouth. I promise, even though you are a close-minded, brainwashed pawn, we could have phun together. Shut up and go home or light up but definitely, LEAVE US ALONE! PS: Keep your hands off the young’ins, we all know how you church folk act behind close doors- learn from OJ, even if you get the charges dropped, karma always catches up with you, Ha!
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
9:52 pm
whoever wrote this articles a fucking stupid, i’ve been to atleast 40 or 50 jamfests in the last few years. first off, cybercrimes? no, you’re fucking stupid, “phishing” does not mean going through someones trash, it’s a programming trick used to create an illegitimate web-page in order to trick people into forking over personal information, it has nothing to do with the band and most ‘phishheads’ don’t even have computers to commit such crimes much less the knowledge of how to pull of such intricate programming schemes. second….orgies? no child molestation….really? no…. prostitution?….good fucking god your letting your bias get the best of your imagination, drugs are undeniably in these scenes, but no ones encouraged against their will, and most of them are given out for free so that blows a hole in your handijay for a hit theory. oh yeah, and kids betraying life-long friends for a better seat? isn’t that what was said? yeah guess what, phish shows and all other jamfests don’t have seats, or assigned viewing areas in any way shape or form, sooooo……where are you getting your information moron? masterbation? yeah undoubtedly we all masterbate, but show me a culture that doesn’t, (that’s rhetorical sarcasm – everyone masterbates, even you, even though your gonna deny it, you can lie to yourself and you can lie to god but you can’t lie to me.) now, hippie hierarchies? no i don’t know where you get such stupid ideas, most older hippies are as giving as they can be in every experience i’ve ever had. lastly, where is this going? “gun violence, child rape or mass suicide”? really?! phish concerts are peaceful, that means no violence…ever really….child rape?…..fuck this is getting rediculous, look these shows are peaceful gatherings for people who don’t fit into americas fascist social structure, its for people who just wanna be themselves and be loved for it, and thats precisely how it goes down, nothing immoral happens at these shows and festivals short of the subjective and questionable excessive drug use, and occasionally theft. get over your intolerance, you ignorant fascist.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
6:47 pm
ps. The poster you were replying to is obsessed with feces. I hope you realize that. Is that really what you want?
Hot debate. What do you think?
2 
37
11:55 pm
I guess those psuedo-christians have never been to a “Christian Concert” where the music is half-assed and the kids are all clueless.
As Jesus is reported to have said, “Just because you call my name doesn’t mean you are one of mine.” Ain’t nothing Christian about that author.
Meatsicks to them all!
Please you conservative Jesusoloters try being like the Man you pretend to follow. Open your Heart.
Praise or Condemn:
8 
1
5:33 pm
Sadly, Christians as a whole are the least Christ-like people I’ve ever had the displeasure to meet.
Praise or Condemn:
9 
3
8:23 am
ok, first of all stop with “the” phish…. its just phish… no “the”.
and the fact that you have no idea how to even say the bands name seems to show just as much as you know about the band and phishheads.
your post is about 90% wrong. you sir are the type of person who thinks they are so much better than the rest of us. you are not, God may “punch you in the eye” (phish) for this trash
that i feel works better as a way to keep people from coming to God than helping them. you are a pusher of Propaganda and i have less respect for you than the FEW monsters you try and
act like run the phish lot. its people like you that push your own kids into the drugs and sex that you fear so much. trust me. my mom did it to me… till i grew up.
ANY show has some drug use. talk about U2 or dave matthews band also. i have seen open drug use at those shows.
people like you make me sick with your half truths and hate. you say that christans are full of love…. i call BS. i was able to feel the hate you have for the phishheads as i read
and it made me sad for you. i am a deadhead and a phishhead. i have dont hold near the hate that you do… we got love. (not free love sex) i know thats where your dirty mind went.
but true love for our lot and show friends.
you sir make me sick.
grow up and keep your lies to yourself.
Praise or Condemn:
20 
1
8:23 am
ok, first of all stop with “the” phish…. its just phish… no “the”.
and the fact that you have no idea how to even say the bands name seems to show just as much as you know about the band and phishheads.
your post is about 90% wrong. you sir are the type of person who thinks they are so much better than the rest of us. you are not, God may “punch you in the eye” (phish) for this trash
that i feel works better as a way to keep people from coming to God than helping them. you are a pusher of Propaganda and i have less respect for you than the FEW monsters you try and
act like run the phish lot. its people like you that push your own kids into the drugs and sex that you fear so much. trust me. my mom did it to me… till i grew up.
ANY show has some drug use. talk about U2 or dave matthews band also. i have seen open drug use at those shows.
people like you make me sick with your half truths and hate. you say that christans are full of love…. i call BS. i was able to feel the hate you have for the phishheads as i read
and it made me sad for you. i am a deadhead and a phishhead. i have dont hold near the hate that you do… we got love. (not free love sex) i know thats where your dirty mind went.
but true love for our lot and show friends.
you sir make me sick. shame on you!
grow up and keep your lies to yourself.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
3
11:45 pm
It’s “The Phish” like “The Grateful Dead” or “The Allan Parsons Project.”
Praise or Condemn:
4 
12
5:55 pm
Wow. That 16 year old girl, Ellie, just schooled you. That MUST be embarrassing. For us sane people, it’s hilarious, but you should just go hang your head in shame. Also, don’t condescend to her because she is 16. She is very well spoken and came across much more Christian, and adult, than you did.
Also, my first Phish show was at 16. I’m now in my 30s. I have seen Phish over 30 times. I have a fantastic job complete with great benefits and a killer 401K. I do not do any drugs. I rarely drink alcohol. I am in a committed relationship. I have never torn my clothes off or had an orgy at a Phish show. The people I go to Phish shows with are in advertising, construction, law, medicine and even law enforcement. I know that there is no “the” in front of Phish in terms of their band name.
I have never judged anyone because of what kind of music they listened to.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
1
12:43 am
to start out with its phish not the phish, second of all where does this guy get off calling himself an investigative journalist im doubting there was any fact checking done for this article the statistics are wrong the song meanings are wrong i mean come on even the bands name is wrong its a sad attempt to get a response so to anyone who read this article and found this authors uneducated opinions offensive refrain from responding its quite obvious this man is getting off on the dissatisfaction.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
1
9:40 am
As the parent of several well adjusted married daughters who all enjoy “Phish” I find your statement that you are an investigative reporter unfounded. Even a tween would at least google the name of a group to ensure they have the correct name prior to turning in an assignment. Your failure to even do a modicum of research would lead a reader to believe you are a conspiracy theorist more than an investigative reporter. Have fun with your antique bottles.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
7:16 pm
First of all I would like to state that this is one of the funniest articles I have read in a very long time, so well done on that. But before writing a paper on PHISH I would be very please if you got your phacts straight, because this is a phalse article.
Dear GOD, I dearly hope that one day you will be able to help your phallowers understand the real PHISH.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
4:01 pm
you dead wrong you Christian know it all.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
9:29 am
You are a dolt. Did you do ANY research for this drivel? Ever been to a Phish show? Ever done drugs? Ever been more than 30 miles from your Mom’s basement? Investigative Journalist my ass. A true investigator would have put on a tie dye, scalped some tickets, and gone on a run, at least 6 or 7 shows in a row. I am a two time college graduate who used to tour with Phish ( it is not “The Phish”, assclown). I worked my ass off for 10 1/2 months a year to save money to buy mail order tickets to every show for each summer tour. Guess what else I did? I paid my rent, my bills, and my TAXES, and I earned the privilege of taking a vacation every Summer. Now I am a Dad and a husband, and I go to shows whenever I can, which is not very often, because I put my responsibilities before my crazed satanic impulses. But why would I expect you to understand, I mean, you are a Motivational Children’s Party Entertainer, and you collect old soda cans! I am SO beneath your league. I mean, I am a Christian, an Eagle Scout, and I have two college degrees with which I earn a living for my very stable nuclear family. You, on the other hand, are a fucking douchebag. BTW, if you are ever in a position where you have to say something to the effect of ” I was cleared of all allegations against me…” when accused of pedophilia, guess what: you are a kid fucker who hot off, oooops, I mean got lucky, probably on some technicality. After reading your entire review of the Phish experience, you probably actually ENCOURAGED more people to check it out! What an obtuse asshole you are. I hope you get eye cancer and fucking die, child fucker.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
9:30 am
phish and WSP rock.
what the hell is wrong with liking 2 bands?!
Praise or Condemn:
7 
4
10:14 am
This must be the most ridiculous synopsis of what Phish is all about. Go back to church and quit commenting on something you obviously know little about
Praise or Condemn:
15 
2
11:06 am
damn.. ya got me… good one.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
12:40 pm
you mr billings need to realize that christianity is not the only religion in the world and not everyone was raised as a christian and people have different views of how to life and and what is right and wrong. i believe religion brainwashes your mind, just like christianity has brainwashed yours into writing this article about how people who partake in this type of behavior are criminals, juveniles and immature. it is just another way of life and it doesnt make it wrong just because christianity says its wrong. dont be so quick to judge another persons decision as wrong or juvenile just because your religion says it is wrong, there are many ways people can choose to live life and that is everybodys natural freedom.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
1
11:23 pm
I think this whole onslaught on the band Phish is to invoke fear in the uber-Christian mind. To think a band is the cause or root of all the evils the youth and/or your children are partaking in is at the very least extremely small and chronically closed-mined. If problems arise in your ‘hard-to-control’ child you might better spend your time examining your parenting styles or the chromosomal abnormalities of your progeny. To blame distance musicians/artists for a child wanting to escape their parental enforced confines beckons the wise-minded to look at themselves and find Occam’s razor solution. If still you find yourself questioning the underlining message of any music, then why don’t you listen for yourself, and decide if it’s appropriate for your offspring. Otherwise, continue to blindly boycott nonsense,…you know what, forget it, you’re all helpless.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
2
9:45 am
great website! I would read again! WSP SUX!
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
45 
16
3:21 pm
PTisgod, the fact that you have to sign off with “WSP SUX” shows what an incredibly large tool you must be. I’m so sick of the Panic/Phish/SCI arguments. Since when are you only allowed to like one band. If you’re a true music fan you appreciate many types of music. And the fact that your name is “PTisgod” validates even more what a major douche you must be. Grow up and broaden you music horizon kid. I guess you don’t like The Beatles, Bob Dylan, Neil Young, Grateful Dead, Sly and the Family Stone, Temptations, or hundreds of other good bands, because you only like Phish and “WSP SUX”. What a tool.
And Bob, the article is a joke moron. If you can’t realize that you are absolutely brain dead!! Oh, and everything I said above relates to you as well since you felt it necessary to sign off with “WSP SUX”.
Praise or Condemn:
9 
8
5:05 pm
I find you message surprisingly insulting. I don’t know the background of your little battle, but what has that to do with insulting me? I am no joke and I believe many CHristian parents have been enlightened by this article. Do you really believe we should be letting our kids run off and join this big drug scene? You people seem to think I’m not telling the truth but the headlines after every concert are clear: “Hundreds upon hundreds arrested…” etc. Shameful.
Hot debate. What do you think?
3 
48
7:04 pm
Ok so first of all the bands name is “phish” not “the phish” and second, this article is full of so much false information that its actually funny to read. The author is a Christian therefore he is uneducated and likes to push his views on everyone else. Reading this article reminds me of a high school news paper in the south, poorly written, and the author is dating his sister. This article made me realize how stupid and ignorant religion can make people. I really don’t care what people worship, but when they are pushing their beliefs on me i start to get pissed. I don’t bitch about noisy church bells, traffic associated with church, and other religious related activities. So why do i do this, because i was taught at an early age to respect peoples beliefs. As a christian reading this article turned me into an atheist.
ps
Have you ever played that game telephone? You know how the final message is much longer and well more completely insane than the original version. Well I present to you christianity.
god does not exist and if he did he would not have would not have let the holocost, crusades, wars, or the Armenian genocide take place under “his” name. I say “his” because a woman would not have created a world filled with such hate, evil, and disease.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
37 
0
7:35 pm
Mr. Billings,
With all due respect, I have tried Jesus and I have tried psychedelics. I recommend you do the same and afterwards we can compare notes. Phish (not The Phish) does have some undesirable elements pertaining to the band’s followers. Likewise, Christianity shares some rather unflattering history (See The Crusades, The Encomienda, persecution of Galileo, etc). Nonetheless, at its core, Phish is about liberating the self from the ego. When this occurs,we as individuals can experience that which is outside ourselves. To do this is to truly be alive.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
59 
1
3:10 pm
First of all. I am in my 30′s and have been to at least 35 Phish shows all over the United States of America. I have never once seen semen on the inside of a porta potty, orgies in in mud pits, young women traded amongst “elders”, and young teenage boys coerced into depraved sexual acts. I however have encountered people who are more times than not are very open minded, accepting of all creeds and colors, conscientious, eco friendly, and generally nice. I have smoked copious amounts of pot, taken mushrooms, acid, and even done a little blow and I am happy to tell you that I am very successful, own a house, and am a productive member of society. Sure, as with anything else in any culture there are bad apples. To write such statements are just completely off base and false. You sir are no investigative journalist, you are a propagator and nothing more. I have seen worse acts of depravity in the “eyes” of the Lord than I have ever experienced at a Phish show. Although, I must admit I posted this article on FB and a lot of my friends have gotten a good belly laugh as a result of it. Thanks for that at least. I honestly feel sorry for you. Your life sucks so bad that you feel the need to write an article of such hate and vitriol. You sir are the kind of person that Jesus hates. You are no worse than the people who hung him on the cross. Ever hear of “thou shall not judge” or “not casting stones”? Practice what you preach. Oh wait, you can’t do that… You’re a modern day Christian who’s whole basis of existence is to belittle everyone and anything that doesn’t think, look, act, or believe like you. Get a life you creep.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
9:52 am
It’s unbelievable how inaccurate this article is, and anyone who reads this and believes what it says proves to me how dumb most of this country is. Touring the country looking for converts, promising sexual pleasure and peer acceptance? How dumb can one author be? Listen to the music. They tour because people love the music and want to see the band live. Britney Spears and the like create computerized crap in the studio. Her and others just like her are writing songs promoting sex and partying, and you praise them? I knew Christian freaks were crazy, but I didn’t know you were all retarded too.
Signed,
WSP Sux.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
150 
9
12:17 pm
exactly,phish likes to play live,just like fans want,they dont spend time on studio recorded sales and just sit around and collect…im not a big phish fan or a christian,but if your a real christian you shouldnt be idolizing any singer or group.regardless if its kenny rogers,britney spears or whoever….right…oh and for the drug issue listed above the amounts listed confiscated is nothing for the amount of people attending events
Praise or Condemn:
15 
4
11:04 pm
Satire this sharp blurs the line of reality for many. It is unsettling because we can imagine an article like this with a sincere arc denouncing Phish. This gripping article had me for the first paragraph or two, I will admit. But unless you guys are playing along as the indignant fan base, I implore you my fellow Phish phans to look at how ludicrous this article is and praise it for the awesome piece of satire it is. It’s funny. And the website is entirely parodic of extremism in conservatism. No need for legal recourse here. That they offended anyone in Phish land speaks to how well in tune the creators are with the band and with the absurdity of certain Christian propaganda. I’m sure they’re getting way more attention than they ever thought they would. Well played C-Wire staff! Furthermore, what should really scare you is anyone who doesn’t see the parodic nature of this material but instead of indignation actually agrees. Look out for them, leave the “author” alone.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
34 
2
12:17 am
I’m not going to lie, this article made me laugh, and then again it made me really hope that the author is not serious.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
27 
0
11:08 pm
Satire this sharp blurs the line of reality for many. It is unsettling because we can imagine an article like this with a sincere arc denouncing Phish. This gripping article had me for the first paragraph or two, I will admit. But unless you guys are playing along as the indignant fan base, I implore you my fellow Phish phans to look at how ludicrous this article is and praise it for the awesome piece of satire it is. It’s funny. And the website is entirely parodic of extremism in conservatism. No need for legal recourse here. That they offended anyone in Phish land speaks to how well in tune the creators are with the band and with the absurdity of certain Christian propaganda. I’m sure they’re getting way more attention than they ever thought they would. Well played C-Wire staff! Furthermore, what should really scare you is anyone who doesn’t see the parodic nature of this material but instead of indignation actually agrees. Look out for them, leave the “author” alone. How could anyone fall for these avatars anyway?
Praise or Condemn:
6 
4
9:56 am
Please help me extract myself from this Phish cult. They make me travel our beautiful country seeing places I’ve never seen. They also make me dance and have fun with people that I don’t know but do seem pleasant to be around. All this fun is hell on me. I know I should be spending my time having much less fun and instead of spending my hard earned money on Phish tickets I should just give it to the church.
Please help me!
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
147 
8
10:03 am
Last month I went to a retreat where I was fed cookies and coffee and spoken to by many other Christians. They told me how I should live my life and now I believe. I believe. What a wonderful thing to be fed and told the way.
These retreats are available all across the country please come have some cookies and coffee and learn the way of the lord. I will be traveling with the other Christian across the country teaching the way and converting wayward youth the way of the lord.
Please join me in the beauty that is our lord. And as always don’t forget it is your obligation to donate 15% of your income to support our efforts to teach the way of the lord to the world populous.
Signed,
Jesus Freak
P.S. – WSPSUX
Hot debate. What do you think?
38 
21
10:36 pm
Panic is throwing down more consistantly than Phish as of late junior.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
10:09 am
“Any group of people that makes such a calculated effort to insert itself into the lives of the innocent should surely raise the eyebrows of concerned parents.”
Oh, the irony!
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
143 
6
10:14 am
wow, Im pretty sure you need to recheck your facts. I am also pretty sure (as a former jesus brainwashed soul, now converted to the cult that is phish), that you are judging phish fans and lumping them into one group. Did Jesus not teach you that only god is to judge? Stop brainwashing and start preaching love and facts. Jesus was about LOVE, not this bullshit.
wspsux!
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
37 
4
10:15 am
Older “trust fund hippies” occupy the power elite, using tactics not unlike those employed by the Politburo in the Soviet Union to monitor and control the unruly masses of newbies and the chronically overdosed. With relentless psychological warfare, these elders demand sacrifices to the cause, while at the same time secretly indulging in the plentiful supply of supple young women and fresh drugs that their status affords them. Rarely do they ever open up their discarded front row seats, hotel room suites and air conditioned luxury cars to the common man.
Incredible
Praise or Condemn:
11 
1
10:17 am
This is a friendly reminder that this is slander and defamation, and should be removed before we file suit. Please if you want to write something so slanderous get some of your facts correct. “Marijuana” and “Christmas Without Weed” are not songs ever performed by the band.
I also may inquire with our fanbase to see if they would like to file a class action suit regarding your absurd description of their activities at shows.
Better start stripping more hard earned funds from the followers of your cult to pay our fans so they can go to more shows.
Again please remove or update with correct information.
Kind Regards,
Phish Legal
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
222 
7
10:44 am
You should be ashamed of yourself making false threats to intimidate my freedom of speech. Your hippies are so willing to embrace the Bill of Rights when it gives you the opportunity to spout off about marijuana and William Randolf Hearst, yet once someone starts reading from the Bible you demand he be silenced. For shame.. You know so little of the greatest traditions that this nation is founded upon.
Hot debate. What do you think?
11 
202
12:56 pm
I am still in the grasps of this evil cult! I can’t break free! I’ve been floating in this blimp aloft as a slave to their traffic light. They even kidnapped my precious Uncle Ebaneezer and locked him in a freezer. My girlfriend got backstage at one show and they seized her with a tweezer! I knew they were trouble when the Makisupa policeman came to my house, and I didn’t even have time to stash the gumbo. Since hearing them I’ve been feeling tipsy, fuddled, boozy, groggy with a fat bulk expense mass lump block clod on my fluffhead. Boy, man! God! shit.
At one The Phish show, someone forced me to consume an awful concoction that contained a little scoop of plaster mix, some coffee grounds and mud, a pot of melted wax, a forefoot and a hoof, apple core, worms galore, a can of some corrosive, coconuts and chloroform, some wicker and some cork, toxic waste and purple paste. My Mind split open and melted right there on the spot.
This band is dangerous. Whatever you do, take care of your shoes.
-Marco Esquandolas
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
176 
3
4:11 pm
Marco, Did The Dude of Life make you say all that jibber jabber?! Or were you just dancing with Elihu up on Leemor’s bed? What Would Fee Do?
Praise or Condemn:
16 
1
8:44 am
I hear the lead singer is a rabid-victim, martyr. Stranded, level-headed boy, you’d better bend. Soon your luscious, honey-sugar mellifluous life is gonna end. The bassist is no better with those shifty eyes. He spoke my name for many days, pronouncing it in several ways. And moving letters all around, he substituted every sound. Furthermore, when I heard the end result, I told you it WAS NOT MY FAULT! Don’t get me started on the transvestite drummer either…He’s got is simple, cause he’s got a band. And he plays bee-bop in the band. And finally, the tone-deaf keyboard player with a woman’s name. He is so rancid, he has cluster-flies alas. Can’t say I blame him though, for this time of year is bad.
This article is gold.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
27 
1
5:09 pm
Are you on drugs? (Surprise, surprise). I can’t hardly tell what that whole mess is supposed to mean.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
22
1:55 pm
Sure, you’re entitled to Freedom of Speech…but your Freedom of Speech becomes libel and slander when your statements are deliberate lies told to defame or cause damage to others. So go on. Spew your grossly inaccurate and perverted rhetoric on the band and their fans. Just be prepared to pass your little weaved basket around to your followers so they can pay for the damages inflicted by your lies. I find it very sad that a man who calls himself a Christian would not only write lies, but truly be so hateful towards people he obviously knows nothing about.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
53 
5
5:59 pm
Slander is a spoken word, as in conversation. It does not mean something written down. Get your ridiculous facts STRAIGHT! And I don’t take your threats kindly, buddy. Absolutely not appropriate.
Hot debate. What do you think?
8 
63
7:33 pm
Then it’s libel, you dirtbag.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
32 
6
7:36 pm
LMFAO…shit. You got me. This piece was so far out there I should have realized it was satire. I’ll be checking out your website in the future. Well done,brother.
Praise or Condemn:
10 
6
10:12 pm
http://www.ajc.com/news/ga-man-awarded-404-809868.html?cxtype=rss_news_82001&utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter
As shown here in this case… Sorry sir but you can have a lawsuit based soley on the Submition of typed documents on or over the internet falsley accusing, or deliberlately slandering a person company, etc… So you need to get your facts straight.
For instance the Festivals that these Bands Like Phish go to have donated Millions towards a healthier and greener society, and several beneficial causes so we have a future in this planet …etc…
How much has your church donated…
Praise or Condemn:
11 
7
5:10 pm
I look forward to our day in court but I kindly act you people to bathe beforehand.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
14
11:40 am
you being a journalist and all…one would think you understand the meaning of the words you place in your bullshit article, slander can also be used in a “report” get your shit straight…you have obviously never even seen the parking lot of a phish show, sure there is NOS everywhere, but guess what, i will have a balloon, not 25 balloons. it’s good fun, you should try it, i think it would clear your head. yes sir, someone should strap you to a tank and zap all your braincells, you never know, you could be de-brainwashed, and then you might get a real fucking job, and stop writing this yellow bullshit… people jerking off in port-o’s, what the fuck was going through your head, who would believe that nonsense? You should be sued, and jailed.
reasons why EVERYONE on here thinks your full of shit
1. your a pedophile
2. you don’t know the bands name
3. mary-j and xmas w/o weed are not songs by phish
4. violence? what? the? FUCK? i have never seen violence at a concert
5. yep treys blowing my mind with that guitar solo, he must have just shot a good amount of heroin into his eyeball!!!! SIGN ME UP
6. i smoke the best chronic available, i bring to shows, i smoke it and pass it around, and all the sudden i have some drug addled woman sucking me off right there in the show? sounds pretty awesome i know (aka fucking disgusting) sorry gals you gotta get to know me before we can set up a pipe-hit to head agreement.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
3
2:14 pm
Mister Billings How much should I told you that your Little constitution doesn’t affect Internet because it,s called WORLD WIDE WEB and not AMERICA WEB
Your constitution doesn’t affect the internet in other word if you start using detah threat on us we can fill a legal suit against you
also the Band or the fans can actually fill a lawsuit against You and the entire site as well if you go too far
your freedom of speech is NOTHING HERE
Praise or Condemn:
11 
4
6:06 pm
Do you really believe these people will get together to prove that their concerts AREN’T giant sex and drugs parties? How would they even go about doing that? Let’s be realistic here!!!
Praise or Condemn:
6 
13
7:12 pm
You and your type of nonsensical ramblings are what have driven me and so many other young people to pull away from the church, not from God mind you, but the “church” as prescribed by the likes of you. It is truly disheartening to me that so many will read this article and take it as the truth. This is not how God has taught us to be. I went from being a Phish Phan, to being “saved” back to being a Phish Phan. I could no longer stomach the prejudices and lies being spewed by those who where supposed to be my spiritual leaders. I have never encountered such acceptance and good will as from the people who attend these shows, any many others. In my humble opinion, you are a poor excuse for an “investigative journalist”. Also, I wouldn’t let you within 100 miles of my children or their party, lest you spew this same destructive hate at them!
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
29 
3
11:09 pm
You are so out there. First off we are very powerful group of people. We are doctors, lawyers, congressmen and congresswomen, teachers, police officers and the list goes on and on. You do not realize the potential of the people you have just slandered. Wake up. We will have the last laugh when you are handed papers for a class action suite. Emails have been flying around all day. The fans of this band are fans of peace and love and harmony. You have sought to destroy this harmony and you are self sir are the cause of all the hate in this world. You are no different then the Taliban or osama bin laden his self. We are very motived and highly successful people that will come after you will the laws of this great nation. I wish you luck because you just disturbed a bee hive.
Praise or Condemn:
9 
5
5:30 pm
You guys claim to be countercultural, then you say you’re “powerful” like the business leaders getting their TARP dollars and destroying America? Get your cover stories straight! And don’t be ridiculous.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
8
5:48 pm
This BS coming from a site with articles such as… “why do hippies still exist in America” “Is my husband gay?” “Vajazzling, the newest threat to your college son” and “how to spot a masturbator”. I hate to say it…but you’re a very sick man. I noticed how you mentioned “they really came out of the woodwork on this one”. Your damn right we did….because we don’t accept your “back woods hick” mentality. Would you come out of the woodwork if we posted an article… “Just say no to The God”?? bet you would.
Bouncin around the room about a guy beating his wife???….damn you are sick. And prince Caspian was a song written for Trey’s daughter. Might be good to check a few facts before you write this crap for the world to see.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
3:06 pm
I’d join the class action lawsuit against this author. I’ve been to many shows and this article is so inaccurate that it is definitely slander. Readers – please don’t believe this nonsense of an article. It is not true.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
31 
6
3:22 pm
I’m a G*d fearing catholic and Phish, not “the Phish” is my favorite band. I have seen 64 shows since 1998. This article is full of false statement about a band that does nothing but respect its fans and communities that it plays in. They promote peace and love of music. Communism??? Where do you get that idea. Biggest line of b.s. I ever read. I’m all for your freedom of speech, but at least do proper research before you call a group of people communists. That is a very serious statement. I’m a middle right republican and despise socialists and communists. Maybe you should school yourself a little more before you write such a completely false article. G*d bless you and your family.
Praise or Condemn:
23 
4
4:26 pm
Dear Billingsly,
Thank you for enlightening so many people to the horrors Phish brings the world. You forgot a few things though that I think may sway more good people into the light:
-They are part of a secret society founded by a Charles Darwin worship cult whose goal is to disseminate the crazy idea that the earth is a little more than six thousand years old, man evolved from primate and didn’t walk with Dinosaurs despite how obvious it is we did!
-Two of the band, I don’t know which, where questioned and suspected of being the 19th and 20th hijcackers that fateful day, 9/11/2001.
-They hypnotize the masses with a sonic neuro emission mind control device developed by the Nazis but later refined by the Reds. It’s in all of their instruments.
-They went to a Liberal Arts College!
-Trey is actually a witch from the 18th century that survived several witch hunts and through dark sorcery has lived this to gain the ear of President Obama. They talk regularly! In fact he oversaw Obama’s birth back in Kenya and cast a evil spell of protection over him.
-They believe the earth is round… ROUND! The lunacy!!!
-They believe they can fly. The believe they can tough the sky. They think about it every night and day. They spread their wings and fly away!
I hope this information helps in your quest to become a level 13 paladin of the militia of Christ. Hopefully you have a +2 attack iron keyboard and a +5 magical touch protected cape, preferably with an automatic cancellation of all meta-hippie cast spells. Make sure not to drop your kid off with the local priest on your way to the military funeral or tea party event. We know how that will go don’t we?
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
44 
0
6:27 pm
Wow you have opened my eyes so much
Amaazing
Praise Jesus!
Praise or Condemn:
4 
4
4:44 pm
Kudos sir on your investigative journalism.
I was wondering who the creepy dude outside the portapotty was while I was trying to rub one out.
Thank you for the tip about doing my rapes behind the grungy tapestry, the mud pit gets my junk all funky.
Praise or Condemn:
20 
0
5:46 pm
Have I just gone blind from all those drugs that have been injected into me by the band members? I did not see one true Biblical reference in this article. Not to mention, with all the terminology that has been used (aside from “The Phish”,) methinks someone else has spent a few hours on lot himself….
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
6:10 pm
“But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God– having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.” –2 Timothy 3:1-5.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
21
6:49 pm
I’d bet there isn’t much room in your glass house for all the stones you have piled up. Would you feel better if we created Falafel shrines to your God? Just a thought.
Praise or Condemn:
7 
4
1:19 pm
Billings – you’re cwazy!! Quote the Bible all you want, it’s gibberish whose true message has been lost in translation for hundreds of years – you may as well quote Grimm’s Fairy Tales for all the good it will do for the people you are trying “to save” – give the world a break and stick to talking about the things you actually understand…which is what again? See ya in the funny papers! ppphhhhtttttttttt
Praise or Condemn:
5 
1
9:29 pm
wow…dear man. i feel very sad for you & the hatred that flows through your soul. may you attend a beautiful event, like a phish show, and have your heart opened to the love in this world!
oh yeah…and slander is not protected under the 1st amendment.
Praise or Condemn:
15 
0
1:51 pm
Stephonson billings: You are the most ignorant uncultured man in AMERICA. I have never seen such a poorly investigated and written article in my life, you shoulda done it in crayon. How dare you call yourself a “Journalist” as you bring shame to the title. You are such an asshole Jesus Christ would kick you in the nuts. You are probably friendless, brainless, dick-less, soul-less, uneducated, ignorant, delusional, completely out of touch from reality, a pedophile, and I’d be willing to bet that you will soon be spearhead the next Waco. Look at what you just did to yourself. You have no qualifications to write nor live. KYS. Also sorry it took so long to write back I was typing with one hand while masturbating to your soda bottle collection (who the fuck collects soda bottles) You’re a grown ass man, act like it douche.
Praise or Condemn:
9 
0
6:13 pm
It thrills me that my faith and love terrifies you so.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
7
3:06 pm
Terrifies??!!! If anything it makes us feel sorry for you that you invest so much time in 1) Making up lies about something you know nothing about 2) Collecting SODA BOTTLES, what???? Who collects soda bottles???
Don’t worry all of us Phish fans are more than sure that what we are doing is by our own choices. No one can really make you do what you don’t want to do at those shows but if you want love that is where you’ll find it in abundance. Not the Bible or the Church. You should try being open minded and caring once, maybe, I don’t know, you’ll like it??
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
12:16 am
Spoken like a true terrorist.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
3:55 pm
Sir, I am not going to go on a rant about my opposing view of yours. If I had the time, I would go through your article sentence by sentence and refute every statement you have made. You say that we know nothing of what the founding fathers intended our country to be. I find it odd that on your Facebook profile, you cite a Thomas Jefferson quote as your top quote. I’m not sure if you are aware that Jefferson actually re-wrote the bible, removing all of the supernatural acts of Christ. With you being such a devout Christian, I find it hard to believe that you did not know this. As to the free speech point, you defend yourself and your rights, but if I were to write about the story of Christ and the virgin birth citing the FACT that the same exact story had been told centuries before Christ, thus refuting your religion and proving that what you have dedicated your life to is a lie, would you be as willing to defend my free speech rights? Christianity, no matter how you argue it, is a closed minded organization. Against gay marriage, abortion, stem-cell research, climate change reform, inter-racial marriages, and untold others. Phish fans like myself are more about open-mindedness, acceptance of those who are different, respectful of those who choose to do with their lives whatever inspires them. It would seem that these “hippie phish fans” are more moral than you and your fellow i’m assuming evangelicals. I don’t hate you, in fact, I feel sorry for you. If this truly is your belief about Phish fans, which I doubt, it would seem there are far more important issues to be presenting. Honestly though, I don’t believe that you believe what you have written here. I believe you are simply taking a page out of the Glenn Beck/Rush Limbaugh/Sarah Palin playbook. Saying things so outrageous, to gain attention, and I’m sure that some day you hope your false fear mongering will lead to some sort of Fox news blog position. As another poster mentioned and proved, Phish does not condone drug use. Additonally, bands like String cheese incident stopped playing b/c of how out of control the drug scene was becoming. The most ridiculous accustion you’ve made is the “phishing” internet conspiracy and how this funds Phish tours. Have you looked at Phish ticket prices? In some cases upwards of 1000 dollars. One more issue. The photo you have of trey with the multiple neck guitar is my photograph from Alpine Valley. I’d appreciate some photo credit.
Praise or Condemn:
18 
1
8:10 pm
wow..where to begin?? first off, what ever happened to the christian ideal that ONLY god can judge? a few elements of this article/fairytale are true, but the vast majority is crazier than a 12 year old girl at a justin beiber show! Is spreading lies a core christian value now, or did u just happen to eat one of those lsd laced cookies before you started writing?
Next i think i’ll touch on the comparison of album sales to live music…what makes a platinum selling “artist” more wholesome than a band that perfoms night after night w/out computer enhancement? Would u prefer someone download a podcast of your sermon as opposed to showing up in person every sunday??
i kept reading this article hoping to find out it was written by the onion or some other comedian…it was sad to find out it was not a joke. As someone else said, there are definitely elements of the scene that are detrimental to society sure, but the same can be said about christianity.. the only difference is that radical christian extremists do it under the cover of god, where as the drug addicted “The Phish” fans make no bones about doing it for a good time!
Praise or Condemn:
4 
1
12:58 am
Hey Phish Legal, very well said!!!!!
Praise or Condemn:
3 
2
7:12 pm
More people are raped and murdered in the name of GOD than in any other name in history
Fuck you to the author of this article doesn’t the bible warn of lying. Luckily you go to church to releive your sins those of us who do not sin do not to to got as often. Eat dick and choke on your bible
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
1:46 pm
Absolutely awesome! To get Phish Legal to respond. This just gets better and better. Satire at it’s finest….For now.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
10:18 am
It’s 2011, and this fool is unable to, at the very least, research the correct origin of the term “Phishing” when referring to cyber-crime?
Just stop, man. Most people are not this proud of their stupidity.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
29 
2
1:26 pm
don’t worry he Know he already used that to Phish little boy to his camping trip
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
10:20 am
It’s 2011, and this fool is unable to, at the very least, research the correct origin of the term “Phishing” when referring to cyber-crime?
You should just stop. Most people are not this proud of their stupidity.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
1
10:23 am
“it’s high time we get educated about the undeniable threat our children are now facing.”
You don’t have any children?
“Bouncing Round The Room” tells the horrendous story of a man who brutally beats his girlfriend around his apartment while on a drug binge.”
You know what really pisses me off? When a sexist motherfucker who views women as the inferior gender gets all gung-ho against domestic violence. You don’t respect us, why should you care about bodily harm to us?
“The band pays for tanks of hospital nitrous oxide to be wheeled out so that the hordes of regulars struggling with their symptoms of withdrawal can be managed.”
Source?
“Those too high to return to their parent’s homes will go anywhere nearby to sleep. In dirty motel rooms and even in the backs of old schoolbuses, these people will give their bodies over to painful patchouli sex parties in exchange for a wet pillow on which to rest their heads. (Rumors that roadies and band members regulary crash these events to demand gratification have garnered the attention of police detectives.) In other parking lot vehicles, puffs on pot pipes are bartered for hasty fondlings. Grungy tapestries may hide the worst of these acts from passing eyes, but the cries and splattered fluids on windows are enough to tell the horrific story. For the frustrated, reckless masturbation in Port-O-Johns is the highlight of their evenings. It gives them a small sense of control to harass their aching phalluses to the beat of drummer Fishman’s incoherent thrashings.”
Source?
“One area of this culture that demands closer inspection is The Phish’s involvement in cybercrime. It may explain the tremendous growth of their empire and how these endless tours are financed. A few years back, investigators noticed a new type of theft across the internet. In a secret nod to this rock band, it was named “Phishing” and involved high tech identity fraud.”
By that token, I suppose the good ol’ Ben and Jerry’s flavor “Phish Food” is related to this as well?
“If their activities are leading to gun violence, child rape or mass suicide, should we not do everything in our power to stop it?”
Yeah, by enforcing better GUN CONTROL LAWS, you jerk.
Praise or Condemn:
12 
1
10:56 am
Hi there Claire, I am happy to help you with your questions. I realize this is a complex issue, particularly for young women. Many girls who date “phishheads” have problems adjusting to the general lifestyle of it all. In any event, I am of course opposed to domestic violence and I wholly condemn music that seeks to glamorize it, such as The Phish song mentioned.
As for the drug Nitrous Oxide, it is strangely common for concertgoers. I am not really sure why, but a simple google search turns up many police reports detailing the subject.
If you want evidence of the terrifying scene at these concerts and the lengths criminals go to evade authorities, you need only read “Phish Fan Crawls Through Sewers For 2 Days To Evade Cops”.
Well, I hope that helps! Be well little friend!
Stephenson Billings
Certified Investigative Journalist
Hot debate. What do you think?
7 
36
1:09 pm
“As for the drug Nitrous Oxide, it is strangely common for concertgoers. I am not really sure why, but a simple google search turns up many police reports detailing the subject.”
Your source is a Vegan website? I thought you hated Vegans?
“In any event, I am of course opposed to domestic violence and I wholly condemn music that seeks to glamorize it, such as The Phish song mentioned.”
Yes, but you have said before that you view females as inferior, which, in my book, is just as bad as physical violence against women.
“Well, I hope that helps! Be well little friend!”
Why do you insist on calling me your friend? Also, I’ve noticed that you refer to everybody, even your facebook “friends” as “little”. That is highly derogatory.
“Certified Investigative Journalist”
Why do you insist on billing yourself as that, when I’ve told you about 100 times that I don’t buy it, ESPECIALLY after you’ve refused to provide PROOF of your credentials?
1. make a COPY of your certificate
2. take the COPY YOU JUST MADE (NOT the original) and use a black marker to BLACK OUT ANY PERSONAL INFO LIKE SS#, ADDRESS, ETC
3. SCAN the BLACKED OUT COPY onto your computer and save it as an image file (you know, .jpg, .gif, etc)
4. go to http://www.tinypic.com and UPLOAD the image
5. share the URL with us so that we can see PROOF of your claims
Praise or Condemn:
13 
1
6:24 pm
“Let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not the power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.” –1 Corinthians 7:2-4.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
11
7:39 pm
What do you think you’re going to accomplish by posting those ridiculous bible quotes?
Praise or Condemn:
6 
1
8:38 pm
^He’s trying to prove that he’s a loony. He admitted that he doesn’t care what Jesus said, so why the fuck should he follow the Bible? All he has to do is call himself a Christian and he thinks he’ll get into Heaven, fuck what Jesus said about loving thy neighbor and whatnot, he’s out for blood and a meal ticket in the afterlife.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
1:27 pm
Wow, you sir, are an uninformed fuckin idiot. You are a disgrace to any REAL journalist. I’ve been seeing Phish since 1998 and I was born into a Christian family overseas. My parents are still hardcore into their religion and that is their choice. You’ll never hear me telling them what to believe or not to believe or make up bullshit about them.
As far as the whole Nitrous Oxide thing is concerned, if you actually did research you would find that the band condemns the use of Nitrous…which takes place in the FUCKING PARKING LOT YOU DUMBASS MOTHERFUCKER!
Are you seriously….SERIOUSLY saying that Phish promotes lewd sexual acts and promiscuity and you are condemning them for touring to make their money? Then you turn around and use Britney Spears as a role model??? Are you joking? Britney Spears is a degenerate redneck SLUT, who only promotes eating disorders and premarital LEWD sex.
I sent this article to my Dad (a staunch republican and Christian with conservative values) and he even said you are highly misinformed and sound like a quack. He even knows that the scene and band promote love and unity…and even though he doesn’t like that I still go to the shows.
Bouncing around the room isn’t about beating the shit out of a girl…God you seriously are fuckin stupid.
You feed the blind with your bullshit banter and it is SO fucking pathetic how they all eat it up. America is going to crash and burn…and it will be the fault of people like YOU and the people who eat all this shit up.
You and your followers are a disgrace to all mankind and I have no doubt you will burn in hell.
Praise or Condemn:
20 
1
8:42 pm
//Hi there Claire, I am happy to help you with your questions. I realize this is a complex issue, particularly for young women. Many girls who date “phishheads” have problems adjusting to the general lifestyle of it all. In any event, I am of course opposed to domestic violence and I wholly condemn music that seeks to glamorize it, such as The Phish song mentioned.//
You don’t listen to Phish, you’ve never attended a Phish concert, several Phish fans have already told you that you’re not calling them the proper name, you think all bands are Satanic and do nothing but convince others to do drugs, and you make shit up all the damn time. You claimed that one band had over half it’s member die due to drug use when Google proves that only ONE died from POSSIBLE drug use.
//As for the drug Nitrous Oxide, it is strangely common for concertgoers. I am not really sure why, but a simple google search turns up many police reports detailing the subject.//
Stevie, you can’t type it “Nitrous Oxide” and “Phish” at the same time and expect all of the results to match what you’re thinking, even if you didn’t type in half of what you were thinking in the first damn place.
//If you want evidence of the terrifying scene at these concerts and the lengths criminals go to evade authorities, you need only read “Phish Fan Crawls Through Sewers For 2 Days To Evade Cops”.//
I can prove that Christians are crazy with a link to an article that states that a Christian man is responsible for the murder of half a dozen people, or that a Christian man raped several women, and so on and so forth. One or two people do not make up the majority you retard.
//Stephenson Billings
Certified Investigative Journalist//
More like certifiably insane.
Praise or Condemn:
7 
3
6:16 pm
I’ve always suspected that you were a Phishhead, Comedian.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
4
12:19 am
On the contrary, I’m not a fan of them at all. Never listened to their music, nor do I care. Not like you give a damn though, you ignore the truth like the plague.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
3
10:27 am
I love beating my dick in the port-a-pottie to Gordon’s bass beat. Oh my god! Just the thought of it makes me want to do it right now! I have to go rip my crack bubbler and try to suck my own dick to wolfman’s brother.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
36 
0
10:31 am
alright Im back
Praise or Condemn:
5 
1
10:33 am
This article is blatantly anti semetic. You go after a band with jewish members and slander them, why dont you worthless child molesting, meth using, male massage loving goyim go nail yourselves to crosses somewhere
Praise or Condemn:
3 
4
10:46 am
You’re either a bigot or an imbecile. This article is not about Judaism. Please calm down and God bless.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
16
6:16 pm
FROM YOUR FACEBOOK PAGE D-BAG
“Special Leader of Christian Camping Trips for Hearty Teens! Inquire Within!
Mr. Stephenson Billings is a widely respected and Christian Investigative Journalist… His hobbies include antique soda bottle collecting and the piano.”
WOW. You have no credentials, second of all, soda bottle collecting? Are you really that fucking boring in real life? And Page McConnell would whip your ass at piano.
You’re about to get slapped with some cock bro, just warning you there.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
1
12:33 am
he already did that having cock in his ass why you think he hates gay so bad because he hide is Homosexual tendancy
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
10:36 am
This is truly the most funniest thing I have ever read! I honestly have no words for this douche!!! GFYS!!!!!!!!!!
Praise or Condemn:
11 
0
10:37 am
You are so disillusioned. I’m a Christin and I’m ashamed of the crap spilling out of this article. Get your facts straight before you throw them out there. Idiots.
Praise or Condemn:
13 
1
10:38 am
Who are you? and get a clue. These guys are a rock band that play music, if you dont like it dont buy it.
Praise or Condemn:
7 
0
10:42 am
Phish was responsible for 9/11 and all the dead animals appearing all over the world in the last month.
Praise or Condemn:
11 
1
10:45 am
Your misguided, unintelligent, cult-induced dribble is just ludicrous defamation. I am certain that Jesus will rep you at trial.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
0
10:46 am
thank you, brother, for having the courage to finally unearth the dirty underbelly of the scene.
these “phans” are nothing more than heretical soulless heathens, who subsist solely on lab made chemicals, grilled cheese sammiches, and schwill sammy smiths with reckless and godless abandon.
trey should offer himself as the proverbial pied piper to lead these smelly w00k lemmings off a cliff.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
3
10:48 am
Don’t forget that tour when the drummer bit off bat heads between songs(’74 I think?) or when the guitarist was vice-president(pre-heroin) and invented the internet. Gos darn that internet, it makes it so easy to find that terrible terrible pornography to watch while I listen to Phish and masturbate.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
11:20 am
I believe that was Ozzy Ozbourne.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
3
9:25 pm
I hope you know more about soda bottle collecting than you do about investigative journalism. The article you’ve written contains countless inaccuracies. In fact, some would say that it’s “Mostly packed with lies.” Many commenters have urged you to produce sources for the outrageous claims you make. I’m a Christian, so it’s disturbing to me to see someone like yourself (Mr. Stephenson Billings) pass yourself of as a Christian; yet in the same breath you go directly against the teachings you claim to adhere to by putting forth lie after lie. You’ve written this article, and you should have given more thought on what it means to judge people and things you are clearly uninformed about. You yourself will be judged one day. Unfortunately for you, your propensity for being an ignorant liar will call your entire moral fiber into question. May god have mercy on your soul… or is it “My Soul”.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
1
12:37 am
He is not christian iuf he was a REAL christian he would have know what is written on the Jesus cross ( the real meaning )
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
10:50 am
You forgot to mention “Halley’s Comet” and “Ghost” as Phish songs that have Satantic roots into cocaine use.
I gotta say, I’ve seen more guys who look like Jesus at Phish shows than actually in churches across America. Maybe you need to investigate the immoral usage of Phisheads dressing up like Jesus in order to convert naive citizens.
Praise or Condemn:
12 
1
10:51 am
thank you, brother, for having the courage to finally unearth the dirty underbelly of the scene.
these “phans” are nothing more than heretical soulless heathens, who subsist solely on lab made chemicals, grilled cheese sammiches, and schwill sammy smiths with reckless and godless abandon.
trey should offer himself as the proverbial pied piper to lead these smelly w00k lemmings off a cliff.
thank you, brother, for having the courage to finally unearth the dirty underbelly of the scene. these “phans” are nothing more than heretical soulless heathens, who subsist solely on lab made chemicals, grilled cheese sammiches, and schwill sammy smiths with reckless and godless abandon. trey should offer himself as the proverbial pied piper to lead these smelly w00k lemmings off a cliff.[/img]
[/img]
Praise or Condemn:
4 
1
10:52 am
thank you, brother, for having the courage to finally unearth the dirty underbelly of the scene.
these “phans” are nothing more than heretical soulless heathens, who subsist solely on lab made chemicals, grilled cheese sammiches, and schwill sammy smiths with reckless and godless abandon.
trey should offer himself as the proverbial pied piper to lead these smelly w00k lemmings off a cliff.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
2
10:53 am
I am a Phishead and a Christian. This article is making Christians look psycho. While there are certainly drugs at Phish shows, there are no songs called Marijuana or Christmas without Weed. The origins of Mango Song and Prince Caspian that you have written are total lies. What is wrong with you people.
Phish plays technically difficult music well. They compose music that is played by symphonies. You guys are disgusting that you would lie like this.
Please stop making the majority of Christians look bad. Stop hating life.
Praise or Condemn:
19 
0
10:55 am
sounds like you got tte’d and are still in shock over it
Praise or Condemn:
15 
0
6:43 pm
classic.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
11:03 am
The author links directly to his facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001366922231
Well done, dumbass.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
0
11:06 am
I’m not even sure what that insult is supposed to mean.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
5
1:19 pm
It means that a real journalist would link to a VALID news source that he writes for or some sort of VALID journalistic organization that he belongs to, rather than a facebook page.
Praise or Condemn:
10 
2
11:47 pm
Claire only loves Jewish media…
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
1:03 am
you mean like Fox news ? OUPS sorry I forot to tell you that fox news is actually owned by an australian jews sorry
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
11:47 pm
Oh look, one of his favorite musicians is Dolly Parton. I think her titties are bigger homewreckers than Phish ever thought about being.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
11:08 am
Stephenson Billings? This guy is obviously a troll and this website is an elaborately conceived hoax. I really can’t believe anyone thinks this is real. Check out the articles on most commented:
Is My Husband GAY? (1645)
I Am Extremely Terrified Of Chinese People (1534)
Why Do Hippies Still Exist in America? (919)
How To Spot A Masturbator (878)
What Every Parent Should Know About The TV Show Glee (857)
The Golden Girls: How One TV Show Turned A Generation Of American Boys Into Homosexuals (682)
Praise or Condemn:
4 
1
11:12 am
My work happens to be impeccably researched. I am not sure why it frightens you so.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
11
2:12 pm
This article is proof that your writing is not “impeccably researched.” I believe that type of research would require going to a show, taking in the experience, and speaking with some of the fans. Your baseless assertions about the meanings of some of their songs, and your generalization of the crowds that attend Phish shows, only proves to me that you are interested in one thing, and one thing only – furthering stereotypes and attempting to scare people into your way of thinking. All your article did was make me laugh, because it is, quite frankly, absurd nonsense. Don’t attempt to judge something that you clearly cannot come close to understanding. The ills you speak about in the article are prevalent everywhere in society. And some of the ills of this world, i.e. child molestation, are clearly engrained into the society that you think everyone should live by or they will burn in hell. Who are you to cast judgment on anyone else? You are a human being, like the rest of us. Albeit, a stupid human being, but there are plenty of ignorant people to flock to your writing, so you will continue to spout.
You call us all hippies, and you claim that we only want the Bill of Rights to work for us when it’s convenient. I am all for you standing up and shouting a position that I would (and do) take a direct stand against. All I ask is that you do it intelligently and fully informed, things you obviously refuse or don’t have the brain capacity to do.
In the words of my great leader, “I must inquire . . . can you still have fun?”
Praise or Condemn:
9 
0
6:25 pm
First paragraph about 2/3 of the way down, “engrained” should be spelled “ingrained.”
Praise or Condemn:
2 
6
7:43 pm
“First paragraph about 2/3 of the way down, “engrained” should be spelled “ingrained.””
Bob’s not the one claiming to be a journalist, you know.
Praise or Condemn:
7 
2
3:37 pm
No one is afraid of you man.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
10:19 am
All of your information is “impeccably researched” and that is what “frightens us?” I don’t believe I see any citations in your article. I see a letter from a concerned mother writing to Oprah, but no other citations. Even fucking Wikipedia has to have citations. But I’m assuming that with you being such a man of god, you are above citations and proof of research. If you want to write a blog about your gripes, fine, you have every right. However, just because you have access to a website and computer does not make you a legitimate journalist. What are your credentials? Where did you study? And where, if anywhere, are you citations for this article? I think “Phish Legal” might actually have a point about your libelous and slanderous writings. Free speech is one thing, but at the very end of your piece, there is a call for action. How to stop this anti-christ band “THE” Phish? Whats next? Putting crosshairs over each venue that Phish is scheduled to play at? Like I said before, just trying to get a hold of the fear monger teet. Anyone who lists Sarah Palin as their most inspirational person(s) has sunk their ship before the fact. Not to mention you quote her on your facebook profile as Governor Palin. I believe you are a blatant homosexual. But unlike you or your followers, I accept you. Phish fans like myself are open to all races, religions, sexual orientation. If you ever want to abandon your false beliefs and accept your homo-erotic side, we will accept you with open arms. Because that my ignorant friend, is what Phish fans are all about.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
8:46 pm
Nope, Stevie’s real alright. No one could say the shit he does and mean it as a joke. He gave a detailed list of torture devices and believes that they should be brought back. There’s a certain line that exists for jokes and Stevie crossed it long ago. Everyone else here is troll though, it just so happens that Stevie thought it was all real and decided to spread his hate here.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
1:10 am
not just stevie can be that stupid but hell all other author are trolling and doing merely a Joke
stevie on other hand believe everything he does
which is why he should be put in jail (again)
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
11:10 am
Whos got my headies!??!??
Praise or Condemn:
12 
0
11:11 am
KYS YOU FUCKING NOOBS
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
11:16 am
anyone who thinks the article is real wins a darwin award.
Praise or Condemn:
21 
0
11:17 am
Great piece. Thank you for bringing this blight to everyone’s attention. I used to be a fan of the phish from Vermont. The used-up teens laying discarded on the floor after patchouli drenched orgies beneath the fluid-spattered windows of my old school bus were obvious proof. Thank God I was pulled from that wicked lifestyle and shown the way of His light.
Some of you need to pull their skirts down… your pussies are showing!
Praise or Condemn:
8 
0
11:21 am
I like to masturbate while thinking about Jesus
Praise or Condemn:
5 
2
11:22 am
hahah hilarious article.
Couldn’t be further from the truth. Most of us are working professionals who travel around to see new, fresh music. Everyone I meet at shows (I have been to 35) is courteous, nice and open. None of the close minded fools like the author here.
I am a software developer, so I am obviously not some drugged out hippie. My friends who attend with me are a biologist, a lawyer, a medical technician, other software developers, and other professionals.
Some people at shows do exhibit some of the qualities in the article but to generalize would be to say that all Christians have sex with little boys, steal money (Vatican), and believe in Jesus coming to America. Now all those 3 traits are part of some Christian belief but of different parts. So its a generalization just like putting all Phishheads in this generalization.
Very sad that people think like the author. Be careful with your hate speech it will probably come back to haunt you.
Signed,
a kind Phish Head who is definitely smarter and makes more money at 25 than most who read and believe this site will ever make in their life. But I guess ignorance is bliss, so enjoy.
Praise or Condemn:
10 
2
5:17 pm
man I was in complete agreement until that last sentence, which just kinda makes you sound like a douche. why should the amount of money you make have any bearing on that validity of your opinion? is it relevant in any way?
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
6:28 pm
Thank you my beautiful young friend for defending my honor. You are truly a soldier of mercy!
Praise or Condemn:
3 
3
8:51 pm
Actually, it does. Stevie believes that if you have a job that gives out tips, that you shouldn’t get a tip whatsoever, and he will only donate money to services that are Christian only. If it’s going to help kids in Africa, his motto is “let’em starve, for they sinned!” and then try to pity them later when he gets called out on it. That, and Stevie believes that if you like the things he hates, that you’re nothing but a hardcore drug user who’s in denial. True, douchey statement is a bit douchey, but considering how Stevie views all non-Christians as absolute failures, it’s just the kind of words that need to be shoved into his face.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
5:53 pm
“a kind Phish Head who is definitely smarter and makes more money at 25 than most who read and believe this site will ever make in their life. But I guess ignorance is bliss, so enjoy”
But obviously not smart enough to take a joke. You probably think the sex phone operator you listen to is hat and really loves you and when you heard war of the worlds on the radio you probably ran to get your gun.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
11:28 am
Besides the band themselves and the crew, I am the lone survivor of the November 18th, 1988 Jonestown Massacre 10 year anniversary concert Phish put on. I was there the day Phish commemorated that horrible event with what is possibly their best concert ever. As the band reached new levels of consciousness, intensity, and spiritual planes not known to the common man during a 47 minute You Enjoy Myself, I waited patiently for my turn to drink the koolaide.
As the band reached the climatic vocals of “Boy…Man…God…Shit” it all became so crystal clear. I watched as a boy drank the poisonous drink and fell to the ground. Then the man, his father, followed suite. I watched as each person collapsed to meet their God. And finally they would all lie there, decomposing to shit.
How you ask did I survive this? I managed to slip to the back of the line and watch my fellow phriends die one by one. However, the music was too intense and just kept calling me to not drink the koolaide, despite the band repeatedly chanting from the stage, “Do It! Do It! Drink It! Good”. Their lighting director, using the blunt force of a par can light, made me be the last to drink. But I managed to secretly spit out the poison. I dropped to the ground, playing dead, and joined the rest of the lifeless bodies on the ground.
As the band played for another 6 hours and 47 minutes, I laid on the corpse stained field, writhing in delight from the crunchy jams transcending the venue that brisk November night. At times, it was impossible to not succumb to the music and indulge in my deviance. I masturbated, cautiously I might add, to the Tweeprise encore and used a nearby dreadlock to wipe up my pearly goodness. No one was paying attention so I darted for my VW bus and made my get away. I lived in the mountains of Florida for 6 years until I was able to face reality again.
This band is EVIL!
Praise or Condemn:
11 
0
11:29 am
I would appreciate it if you would take this article down, we have been deceiving the youth of America for over twenty years now and we’re planning on having all Phans who attend Watkins Glen this summer drink poison Kool-aid ala Heaven’s gate cult. SO please respect our wishes and let us kill these degenerates in peace.
Sincerely,
Mike, Trey, Page and Fish.
Praise or Condemn:
19 
1
9:20 pm
I’m looking forward to spending my final 4 days on Earth in Watkins Glen, New York, listening to my favorite band, and enjoying some toxic Kool-Aid!
You do realize that this entire website is a joke right? Literally – it is a satire website. The author is someone’s alter-ego. From some of the terminology he uses I would guess he is actually a Phish fan. You guys can take a joke, right? Without demanding that it be removed from the internet?
Praise or Condemn:
6 
0
12:58 pm
and when Buzz Aldrin landed on the m00n he said a prayer to it that it would be rotate its holy orbit from now until forever Amen
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
11:31 am
French Bread Pizza! Get your hot french bread pizza!
Praise or Condemn:
7 
1
11:33 am
Great article, agree 100%! I just listened to the ‘Christmas Without Weed > Marijuana > BBFCFM > Christmas Without Weed (Reprise)’ from Big Cypress. Off the hook!
Praise or Condemn:
8 
0
7:45 pm
Big Cypress was a killer show!
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
11:33 am
Is this some sort of joke? What cult have has the author of this article been brainwashed by?
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
11:35 am
do do atamagashock…..
Happy New Year – The meatstick
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABhIzoo0-xc
At least we don’t follow the Insane CLOWN posse. Your article fails to mention the HIGHly successful fan base who are able to hold careers in medicine, education, finance & accounting, economics, your child’s teachers, your child’s bus drivers. you should just all lock up your children since god is the only thing in life worth following -
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
11:35 am
I just finished reading your article about the band, Phish, and I have to say, it really seems like you simply Googled a few keywords, Wikipedia’d some things as well, and found some outlandish articles about fans of the band. Of course, with any touring act of any kind with a lot of followers, there will be some people who define the scene. Of course, Phish has the “hippie drug user” image, and many people who attend these shows do take drugs, so ok, you KIND of got a point correct there. However, where did you get the information about some of the song lyrics? Did you assume “Bouncing Around the Room” is about a man who beats his wife? Or did you simply make that up? What about, “Christmas Without Weed?” How in the world did you think this was a Phish song? Did you not even fact check to make sure this was actually written by the band? Why didn’t you just say they wrote “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds” about their experiences with LSD? Maybe because everyone and their mother knows The Beatles wrote it, so you take a song, which by the way isn’t even a song ANYONE knows, and LIE about it to fit your article. I am not even going to continue with all that is morally wrong with the rest of the total BS you wrote, but I really would like to know WHERE in the WORLD you got your facts. These men have families, are good people, and make music. Do you really have to put them on the same level as cultists and child molesters? Do you really have no better issues to write about? It came to Phish? Really, that’s ALL you have? I feel bad for you, sir. I would really appreciate if you answered everything with a ? after it, since the few half-assed replies you gave beat around anything asked of you. You are actually destroying America with the nonsense you and your organization put out there. If anything, I hope you realize you are a horrible writer, with NO facts whatsoever, and I am sure you just get off reading emails like this, and trying to put people down and destroy lives. Of course, you will only reply with a “god loves you” or something along those lines. Don’t think we are fooled, this article screams what you must be like as a person, and it is nothing like how you view yourself. Shut your mouth, throw away your keyboard. You don’t deserve either, despite any freedom of speech or any other BS rebuttal you may have. If there is a hell, have fun with all of us Phish fans, because you are heading there too. Don’t worry though, pssst… there is no such thing.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
2
12:10 pm
Sorry Nick I am not a DJ at your local disco and I DO NOT TAKE REQUESTS!!!
Stop being so bossy. It’s a real turn off.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
7
2:58 pm
“I am not a DJ at your local disco.”
This just shows how out of touch you really are. I’m glad you read these comments. Sure must make you feel good inside.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
4:33 pm
You don’t want to bother proving how you’re an ‘investigative journalist’? Color me shocked.
Also, why should someone want to turn you on? We already know you get your jollies off by being proven wrong at every turn, so why should we put extra effort to get your tiny dick up just so you can shove it in a little boy’s ass?
Praise or Condemn:
6 
0
1:42 pm
you people are all genuine a grade crazy, like honeslty genuinly nuts. although thanks for the article i havent a good laugh in a long time.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
11:35 am
do do atamagashock…..
looks like its time for the meatstick…….
Happy New Year – The meatstick
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
11:38 am
“breaded elders and teen boys are forced into nightmares of sexual congress.”
HE CLAIM’S ON FB THAT HE IS A…
“Special Leader of Christian Camping Trips for Hearty Teens! Inquire Within!”
HE’S ACTIVITY’S AND INTEREST’S ON FB ARE CLOWNS & GEORGE H. BUSH.
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=123259231062974&set=a.123259074396323.35479.100001366922231
THIS FUCKING DUDE TAKES BOYS INTO THE WOODS AND RAPE’S THEM….
Praise or Condemn:
4 
1
11:40 am
Christwire: Hateful values for uneducated Jesus freaks.
Praise or Condemn:
7 
0
11:40 am
“breaded elders and teen boys are forced into nightmares of sexual congress.”
HE CLAIM’S ON FB THAT HE IS A…
“Special Leader of Christian Camping Trips for Hearty Teens! Inquire Within!”
HE’S ACTIVITY’S AND INTEREST’S ON FB ARE CLOWNS & GEORGE H. BUSH.
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=123259231062974&set=a.123259074396323.35479.100001366922231
THIS FUCKING DUDE TAKES BOYS INTO THE WOODS AND RAPE’S THEM….
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
11:42 am
Seriously, this guy has a point here. You phishheads with your novice blunt rolling skills are an embarrassment. It makes it much harder for Phish to further their agenda of gun violence, child rape and mass suicide when you guys are using poorly assembled marijuana products.
Praise or Condemn:
12 
0
11:46 am
I’ve been listening to Phish music for years now. I have attended concerts as well. I am now a gainfully employed churchgoing American with a family. Let me illuminate you, in your ignorance, of what is actually happening here. The members of Phish are musicians, not political/social activists or drug dealers. They have little public political or social aspirations besides the art of their music. However, due to the improvisational nature of their music, many kids (and adults) flock to these concerts and do drugs while there. Yes, many of the people attending their concerts do drugs. There’s no denying that. However, the band isn’t handing out free samples of drugs for them to use or telling their fans to go use drugs either. It’s the people who attend the shows who do this themselves. Almost every concert I have ever been too, across all genres of music, have people who are using drugs or alcohol. This has been happening for decades. Do Phish fans use more drugs that most fans attending other concerts? Probably. But I have attended many of their concerts and I was completely sober. And I was not influenced or pressured into using drugs by anyone. In fact, I found many of the worst drug users there to be quite laughable and disgusting. A good Christian parent is able to teach their children how to be good people without having to lie about all of the other people in the world that do not follow the right path in life. That will surely backfire in your face when your children grow up and find that you were exaggerating or outright lying to them. That’s when they rebel and assume that ALL of what you told them is suspect, and fall into a bad lifestyle of sex & drugs. This article only makes you look ignorant and foolish and will ultimately influence some of your readers with children to overreact and ultimately undermine the relationship they have with their children.
Praise or Condemn:
8 
0
12:15 pm
Do you actually think this guy could get a chick to have kids with him? We don’t even know him and within 2 minutes we already hate him.
How could anyone want to spend more than 5 minutes with this guy. I mean read what he writes and then look at him. I actually kind of feel bad for him, but not after writing such slanderous lies.
But look on his FB page and look at his activites and interests. What chick in their right mind would want to even look at this guy.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
6:34 pm
I am not homosexual, buddy.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
4
7:50 pm
Any 60 year old man who’s never been married and yet makes outrageous claims like being “200% heterosexual” is deep in the closet.
Praise or Condemn:
9 
1
8:57 pm
You mis-spelled ‘heterosexual’ buddy.
Praise or Condemn:
8 
0
11:46 am
If you think this article is real you’ve been had! Just look at some of the other articles. This site is basically the same concept as the Onion. Come on people!
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
11:54 am
HIs facebook page is pretty real dude. I think the other article are just as bad.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
12:11 pm
Anybody can create a Facebook page. His activities include boy raping. One of the other articles is entitled ‘San Fransisco Now Putting Butt Plug Removal Machines on Corners’. Get your head out of your ass, it’s satire!
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
1:58 pm
The Christmas Without Weed (CWOW) > Simple from Hampton is sick! Also recommend the Marijuana > Twist > Marijuana > Carini > Marijuana from 10/14/05, and the Caspian > Cocaine Jam from Red Rocks.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
11:48 am
FUCK YOU stephenson billings get off that christian moral high horse PHISH has done more for this nations communities than you assholes ever will
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
11:50 am
boo jesus, yay phish!!
WSP SUX
Noah never built an arc either, lets get real people
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
11:52 am
The hardest thing to understand about this article is whether it’s satirical or serious. Same with the comments. Either way I can’t stop laughing, both at the statements made, and how fucking retarded conservative America is. Thank you, whateverwebsitethisis.com, you’ve made my day.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
11:52 am
I have been attending Phish concerts for 20 years, and ad much as I have tried, I never got laid, even once. And man, did i try, and try, and try. I hooked up once at Deer Creek and the girl was someone from back home. Believe me, if Phish shows had 1/10 of the sex and orgies you refer to, 2 million people would show up to each concert.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
11:54 am
I recently escaped from this cult like band’s grip. Oh the stories I have of how they are channeling Satan with their music. I first attended a Phish concert when I was in my teenage years. When I arrived the parking lot, I was detained by one of the older cult leaders and forced to smoke marijuana out of a pipe filled with gasoline. They even tried to feden my dog acid!!! What kind of sick Satan worshiping criminals are these people?!? At a concert in Colorado in my earlier years, it was really brought to my attention when the guitar player, Ray Antipasta, tried to summon a demon iguana out of the rocks! I left that concert a changed man, and a quickly fled the scene. I’ve heard recent rumblings of an attempt to gather all of their “fans” inside a mothership in May. This is Satan at work in all of his wretched glory. LOCK UP YOUR CHILDREN, THE PHISH FROM VERMONT ARE COMING TO A TOWN NEAR YOU!!!
Praise or Condemn:
8 
0
12:11 pm
Thank you for the brave confession my friend. God’s blessings on you!
Praise or Condemn:
5 
1
11:55 am
when did tray write “Gin and Juice”?
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
12:01 pm
Yo check this out:
Activities:
Clowns,
GHW BUsh
Tennessee Walking Horses
TEA PARTY PROTESTS
SARAH PALIN
Cult leader
Little boy raper
OMG haha.. what a selfing! This guy is a winner right here.
Seriously though I meet more successful people on Phish lot than this guy.
Also can you please show us the source for some of this information like asked above? Especially about how the band buys Nitrous Oxide for the fans? Um that is totally not true. Please please show us your sources.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
12:04 pm
Stephenson Billings is a noob. Article is hilarious.
Thanks. Would read again.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
12:10 pm
Nobody wants my delicious pizza? Fine. Fuck you!
Praise or Condemn:
4 
1
12:26 pm
This is the most erroneous, mal-informed article I have ever read. You clearly have no idea what the band Phish is about, nor can you grasp the depth of their music and the art of live music. You must be a miserable human being. You are spreading lies to further your own cause.
You made up lyrics to Phish songs which DO NOT EXIST to prove your points. You cannot prove a point based upon words YOU made up. You are a pitiful human being, I bet you are that crazy Christian mother from that mom switching TV show.
THEY’RE ALL GONNA LAUGH AT YOU!!
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
12:39 pm
This piece is full of insight and truth. Very impressed with your style investigative journalism. I take issue with one point, “from poorly-rolled blunts.” Phish heads are actually very adept with blunt rolling. However, you were spot on with the masturbation part. That stuff goes on everywhere. Keep your kids away.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
0
12:39 pm
wow Stephon youve outdone yourself!!
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
12:40 pm
“One of their most famous works, “Prince Caspian” is centered on cocaine use and even opens with the noise of a bubbling crack pipe. The lyric, “the children in the fields all sowing seed and chaffing” is a clear reference to the cocoa growers of Columbia. “Bouncing Round The Room” tells the horrendous story of a man who brutally beats his girlfriend around his apartment while on a drug binge. “The Mango Song” talks about running out of marijuana supplies, while “Twist” celebrates a hardcore LSD trip.”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA X Infinity
This is the most ridiculous article I’ve ever read. Some Christians are so fucking stupid.
WSP SUX
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
12:49 pm
This article is just another attempt to brainwash the christian youth. Religious promises are lies.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
12:50 pm
Tired of these atheist hippie bands poisoning our youth.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
16
2:17 pm
thank you mr. billings for this. the phish is poisoning our youth. what they really should be listening to is this band called The Widespread Panic.
wait. wsp sucks
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
12:53 pm
This is most comical. You are so far off I dare not even delve as to how.
Thanks for the comic relief.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
12:55 pm
I hope you know what Libel is because it’s not in the 1st Amendment. Class action lawsuit FTW!!! Does the Bible protect you from Libel; you’d better hope so, start praying now!
Lumpy Head.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
3
6:37 pm
Most court clerk’s offices close at 3pm. If the Phisheads actually got out of bed before 4, I might, MIGHT, believe this is possible.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
3
9:03 pm
I like how you make up evidence to prove how evil others are. It makes you look so dignified! Surely a fan of a band you hate is nothing more than a dirty drug user! I mean, you hate them, so it’s only natural they do evil things, even though you’re for rape and abuse and slavery! You’re the shining example of what good is!
Wait, what?
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
12:57 pm
Stephenson Billings——- go fuck yourself
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
12:58 pm
So this whole time when I thought I was having a good time I was securing my place in hell? Thanks to Mr. Billings for pulling me out of the depths of despair. Mr. Billings, please do contact me, I need more kool-aid to drink. If it werent for people like you I might actually go to church from time to time. Good job NOT doing God’s work. Guess I will just have to go back to the hellish cocaine soaked orgies that I have grown used to from seeing one band in particular. Maybe one day I can follow your path and get a huge stick up my ass and tell others how they are doomed. Kudos!
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
1:00 pm
Hahahhahahahaha This might be the most un-intelligent article i have ever read. Thanks for the laugh, I needed that. “The Phish” hahahahhaa. Prince Caspian happens to be my favorite phish song, and i think it’s hillarious that the author tried to interpret the lyrics hahhahahaha whatta dumbass.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
1:04 pm
I would choose my own religion
And worship my own spirit
But if he ever preached to me
I wouldn’t want to hear it
Praise or Condemn:
5 
1
1:05 pm
THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!
I have a story of confession and redemption.
I first heard Phish when I was in high school. My friends were going to the concert and I tagged along because I didn’t know any better. I was raised in wonderful home filled with Christ’s love (and the love of my brothers, sisters and parents.) I was maybe 16 and I guess it was just at a time in my life I was really struggling. You see, I was a chronic masturbator, though I kept that a closely guarded secret, I was terrified that my sinning would cast a dark shadow on my family and home, but I just couldn’t help myself.
When my friends told me about the Phish concert, I was interested, it sounded fun. I naively listened to their music, not understanding the overtly satanic, un-American, communist, fascist, pro-abortion lyrics. I thought the songs were just about Lizards, antelopes and Robert Palmer (whoever that is lol!). Well, needless to say, by the end of the show I was completely brainwashed. I was secret supplied with drugs (they slipped them into my 7Up) and at the end of the show, I thought I had a new calling. I strayed from Jesus and into the cult of “Gamehendge”. I was told the true history of the world, learning that songs like “Guelah Papyrus” contained the a code that revealed the “true history of The United States.” Looking back now, it was so clear what the cult was doing.
What really hooked me was the mass masturbation. I am actually shocked that you did not include this practice in your thought provoking article. At every Phish concert, they band takes a break in the middle and at that time, the entire crowd, men and women, simultaneously masturbate. For a chronic masturbator like myself, this was intoxicating. It was like a drug! But what was even more like a drug was the drugs! I began to regularly take all kinds of drugs to heighten my self-stimulation. The following summer, I followed the band and the cult to northern Maine for an entire weekend of devil music, drugs and masturbation. I thought it was the greatest weekend of my life, but I soon learned that the consequences would be devastating. I dropped out of high school, I lost my friends and family and it didn’t matter to me. All I wanted was that next high, that next orgasm. In every town across this great nation, I sought it.
Thankfully, my blessed mother risked her life to save me. She went “undercover” as it were and began following the cult, pretending to be a convert until she found me and brought me home. Home to my family and home to Christ.
It’s been 10 years and I still sometimes struggle, but I find strength in Jesus and I know He will guide me through the tough times.
Praise to you Mr. Billings. You are truly doing God’s work
Praise or Condemn:
9 
4
6:37 pm
I am humbled by your bravery little lady in coming here today to share you story. Bless you and be happy!
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
1:08 pm
This Guitar is gonna FUCK YOUR FACE Tyson Bowers and your wifes face too> your a noob. Sound like you bought fake Molly and now your mad. THIS IS BIGGER THAN YOU AND WILL NEVER COME CLOSE TO SLOWING US DOWN.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
1:13 pm
Thumbs up. Would read again.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
1:15 pm
Get a life bible beaters…….. PT will always win! So will “The Phish”. See you in hell!
Praise or Condemn:
1 
3
1:18 pm
what gutter did you people crawl out off to believe this shit. Keep you religious fanticism to your selves. Masturbation???? Really???
” Just as the blind imagine
what it is to have sight”
Praise or Condemn:
2 
2
1:20 pm
this is one of the funniest articles I’ve seen on the web -the Onion should be hiring this author!
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
1:26 pm
This is satire, right? It has to be. Nobody can be this read-Icculus and mean it. Unless they’re a complete tool. Seriously, comparing Phish to Manson and Jones? People masturbating all over the place? Really? What a joke!
Praise or Condemn:
3 
2
1:28 pm
This article is a crock of shit and completely untrue. While yes, the majority of Phish (not The Phish – get it right author) enjoy getting a little off-center by smoking cannabis or imbibing alcohol – no one is there to touch or harm you. Phish fans and concerts are all about free open-minded people who come together for a few hours and listen to them play. Any Christian who believes this moron deserves to be tossed on an island and left stranded.
Ps, Jesus was a pot smoking hippy — just look at the guy! Sandals, long hair and beard, advocated peace, etc. I’m sure Jesus himself smoked a fatty back in the day. I would love to meet the real Jesus Christ – not a bunch of God fearing asshole Christians who know nothing other than what they are spoon fed.
Long live Phish!
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
1:28 pm
Wow this is hilarious. Thanks for the laughs. You should consider writing for the Onion.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
1:30 pm
I’m impressed with the amount of work that went into this, especially considering the irrelevance of jam bands in 2011.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
1:47 pm
This article is satire. Hats off to Billings – very convincing!
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
1:55 pm
obviously a joke, duh. the fact that fans actually believe this is concerning.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
0
1:56 pm
This article is halarious! This retard must have got his facts from the bible.
And he linked his facebook page http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001366922231
Time to do some “Phishing”
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
1:57 pm
You call yourself a journalist? Shame on you. There are too many inaccuracies in this article to count. Oh yeah, and WSPSUX!!
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
1:58 pm
Are Christians so boring that you have to try and make every ones lives so miserable? It’s bad to listen to non commercial music, but it’s okay to molest children? not okay, just looked past. I don’t like phish, but you cranky old farts who are so narrow minded and absolutely pathetic have nothing better to do than try and control what people do. If “GOD” loved all his children then he would shove an inverted cross down your self righteous one way thinking throat and tell you to mind your own business.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
2:02 pm
KYS you noobs
WSP sux
lolbisco
whos got my ice cold fatty??
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
2:03 pm
“The Phish” LOL. Stupid.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
2:04 pm
Lots of questions….
If all phish heads are chronic masturbating, drug using, devil worshiping individuals, then by this logic, are all priests and ministers pickle kissing boy touchers?
Please tell me what music you listen to.
If you could ever convince a woman to birth something with you, and the kid says hes a phish fan, whats your move?
Would love some feedback here.
WSP sucks.
PT, you made my day.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
6:41 pm
I think Dolly Parton is underappreciated if you want to know the truth.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
9:07 pm
Notice how Stevie didn’t refute that priests and ministers are nothin’ but a pack of pedophiles.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
2
2:10 pm
The Christmas Without Weed (CWOW) > Simple from Hampton is sick! Also recommend the Marijuana > Twist > Marijuana > Carini > Marijuana from 10/14/05, and the Caspian > Cocaine Jam from Red Rocks.
BTW, for anyone who thinks this is a legit article, I have a small island I’d like to sell you. Please contact me ASAP! Dummies.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
0
2:16 pm
So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. (Ephesians 4:25)
If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. (1 John 4:20)
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
2:21 pm
A bold and thorough explanation of this unconscionable pit of sin and perpetual threat to America’s God-given greatness. I have it on good authority that, since The Phish’s “reunion,” some fans (no doubt at the direction of the trust-fund elites) have been sacrificing stolen infants in the “lots” outside of the “shows” in hopes of appeasing their disgusting false god “Icculus” and thereby ensuring the longevity of this shameful decadence through many years to come.
I would love to see Glenn Beck take an in-depth look at this “band” on his program…if any other right-thinking True Christian American Patriot could stand to do such a thing. Thanks for stomaching it…maybe this will save some souls!!
-John 7:22-23
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
2:23 pm
This guy is trying out for a job at The Onion.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
2:24 pm
the guy is obviously a phan.
lighten up, francis.
this place reeks of n00b.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
2:25 pm
Is this article/website for real? I have a feeling this is like a Bible Belt version of the Onion…… I friggin hope so anyways
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
2:33 pm
i don’t know which is more disturbing:
the time i got got ass-raped my a dreadlock at a concert by the phish
or
the idiot phish fans who think this is not satire.
take the balloon out of your hand and smell the patchouli.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
2:34 pm
I’m a Christian and Phish is my favorite band. This article is so absurd that I don’t think it could even be invented if it did not exist. There is no room in Christianity for making up slanderous lies, so please stop misrepresenting the gospel of love. It’s offensive. Or at the very least, do your homework instead of lying.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
2:35 pm
I’m a Christian and Phish is my favorite band. This article is so absurd that I don’t think it could even be invented if it did not exist. There is no room in Christianity for making up slanderous lies and casting judgment on others, so please stop misrepresenting the gospel of love. It’s offensive. Or at the very least, do your homework instead of lying.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
2
2:39 pm
I’m a Christian and Phish is my favorite band. This article is so absurd that I don’t think it could even be invented if it did not exist. There is no room in Christianity for making up slanderous lies and casting judgment on others, so please stop misrepresenting the gospel of love. It’s offensive. Or at the very least, do your homework instead of lying.
I’m still not convinced this article isn’t a joke.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
2:39 pm
ummm, I personally and not a Phish Phan maybe because I have just never heard their music. I know I know, how can that be right? If anything this article makes me want to finally hear some of their music to see what all the fuss is about! Who knows, you might have created a new Phan here and if so I will have to thank you for that!
Oh, a side note, my brother-in-law and sister-in-law used to live next door to one of the band members and now I am worried that they may have been permanently affected by this sordid person! (NOT) lol.
This article represents paranoia and insanity at its best!!
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
2:45 pm
If you can’t see that this is satirical you are a moron…. this is hillarious. It’s like people who think Stephen Colbert is a conservative….. grow a sense of humor and sharpen your wits.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
2:45 pm
where were the sex parties…i have been to 150+ shows. i would love to see the chicks whoring them selves out…
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
2:47 pm
I’m a Christian and Phish is my favorite band. This article is so absurd that I don’t think it could even be invented if it did not exist. There is no room in Christianity for making up slanderous lies and casting judgment on others, so please stop misrepresenting the gospel. It’s offensive. Or at the very least, do your homework instead of lying.
I’m still not convinced this article isn’t a joke.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
2
2:53 pm
I think Id like to give Phish legal my full support on the class action suit!
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
2:55 pm
You people are idiots. First, the band is just “Phish” not “The Phish” and second, if you truly espouse the values of Christ you would recognize the Christianity in peace and love and amazing virtuosity in music that this band brings to every community they visit. Shame on you pharisees and zealots who condemn the works of the Lord through Phish!!!!
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
3:33 pm
The only idiots are people like you who think this article is real. I can’t believe how many imbeciles are falling for this. I thought Phish fans were somewhat bright.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
3:10 pm
Wow! just wow, I am also a Christian who loves Phish and this article has to be a complete joke cause nothing in it could be farther from the truth. I agree with timber ho that there is no room in Christianity for slanderous lies. This is article is nothing but slanderous lies. I would say Phish’s average concert goer is probably mid thirties with a successful career (like myself and every single friend I have that goes to shows with me).
Personally, I am just gonna write this article off as someone who wrote it as a joke cause it contains way to much misinformation to be taken seriously.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
3:14 pm
1. Is that chick showing her nether-region in that headline pic, bottom right.
2. “communism, cybercrime and drug culture”, Man that takes me back… good times
3. “The band pays for tanks of hospital nitrous oxide to be wheeled out so that the hordes of regulars struggling with their symptoms of withdrawal can be managed. ” WHAT!?!? When did they start doing that? Man, I need to go to one of those shows.
Also, the article fails to mention their egregious use of augmented 9th chords.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
3:15 pm
Just Say moe.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
3:16 pm
Just Say moe.!
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
3:17 pm
i have never been able to masturbate at phish… am i missing something??? why was i never at those shows?!?!
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
3:23 pm
whoever wrote this article should be sued for libel.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
2
3:27 pm
Frankly speaking, this is the most ridiculous article I have ever read. I don’t even want to dignify this article by explaining the ways in which is is 99% inaccurate. So, I’l just say, don’t believe a WORD of this.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
2
3:32 pm
I wonder if God likes people who steal intellectual property…like say photos that this writer has no approval to use.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
3:37 pm
I been had! LOLZ
WSP SUX!!!
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
3:37 pm
This whole site is tongue in cheek folks. Just a parody!!! Hilarious too!
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
3:39 pm
One time at a Phish show I sold my anal virginity for a garlic grilled cheese.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
3:39 pm
I mean if this was satire it is pretty funny. But stephen billings and his facebook page say otherwise.
dude seems pretty serious right? I mean it all could be a joke though like the Onion b/c there is no way that any of this is true or even could be derived from any true information. but again SB seems pretty serious
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
5:09 pm
You guys are all morons. This guy is a genius, bravo! I would also recommend the ‘Tiger is Cured of Whores’ and ‘How to Sport a Masturbator’ articles. Gold Jerry, GOLD!
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
3:40 pm
Agreeably, it is very derogatory of you to tell people that everyone who likes phish is a pot smoking hippie. I am under the age of 18, never smoked, don’t drink and I’ve been to four phish shows. God is my only judge.
Ps. You aren’t certified in anything other than being crazy
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
3:40 pm
Hey, I take exception … the blunts are certainly NOT poorly rolled.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
3:40 pm
People, people, just look at the titles of some of these articles. The amount of people falling for this as a legit article is mind-boggling. WTF is wrong with you? Do any of you read sites like the Onion? Come on! This shit is hilarious:
The Golden Girls: How One TV Show Turned A Generation Of American Boys Into Homosexuals
I Am Extremely Terrified Of Chinese People
Vajazzling, The Newest Threat To Your College Son
How To Spot A Masturbator
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
3:44 pm
You know another thing that “flies in the face of traditional consumerism?” Christianity. If you want to change that to “traditional capitalism”, that’d be better, though still pretty tenuous. Unbridled consumerism is neither good, nor particularly Christian. Personally I file the unbridled desire for money and material possessions under “F” for “false idol”, but that’s just me. Maybe I’m reading my Bible wrong.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
3:45 pm
you christians are fucked up motherfuckers. open your eyes. dumbass
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
3:48 pm
funny!
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
3:50 pm
i’d like the subscribe to your newsletter
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
3:50 pm
This has to be one of the funniest things I have ever read. This is a JOKE, right?
Terror and orgasm? How dare you sir. Jesus would wash your mouth out for such slanderous abuse.
Also Jesus was married to Mary Magdalene and had a baby with her and they moved to France and married into the Merovingian royal line. They had orgies to imitate the beautiful conception between god and Mary mother of Jesus.
Please don’t let “THE PHISH” ruin your mind. HAHAHAHA
Ohh and Widespread Panic doesn’t suck. Although they aren’t nearly as good as THE PHISH.
Ok I need to go listen to my Hampton shows now so that I can get my daily fix of Orgyistic ear drugs.
Will someone save me?
Ohh and Neo-Con John Birchers can kiss my ass. Just sayin.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
2
6:49 pm
Isn’t that from the DaVinci Code? It’s all a pack of lies, by the way.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
8:11 pm
No, you idiot, it is not a pack of lies. It’s called a movie. IT’S NOT REAL. It’s meant to be entertaining. If this is where and how you discern you spiritual beliefs, then I can fully understand the obscurity of this “article”.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
9:09 pm
You don’t understand the difference between reality and fantasy, and yet you insist that everyone else can not.
Stevie, the men in white coats want to talk to you, they say they can take you straight to God and they know what he looks like.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
3:52 pm
Tounge Punch My Fart Box!
Phish Rules.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
3:54 pm
Horrible article. If you really want to keep kids away from Phish you should just make them listen to Phish’s new album Joy. That will turn any potential fan away. The only truth to this article is that Phish sucks, oh and Mike Gordon likes little boys, fact.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
2
3:55 pm
I am positively shocked at this article because I have been to nearly 30 Phish shows and have never seen this “mass masturbation” that you speak of. I wish that I could find it because I LOVE to touch myself, like so many Phish fans.
Honestly, I was terrified as I read this article until I realized something: God is “dog” spelled backwards, and dogs hate figs. If you think that doesn’t make sense, maybe you should re-read this article because it makes absolutely zero sense.
Do you guys honestly believe that if these things were going on (as falsely claimed here) that the authorities in this country would allow this to go on? They wouldn’t. Do people drugs at the shows? Of course. People from ALL walks of life do drugs.
The problem with your organization is that is not at all based in fact, only in falsehoods and you all think you are so self-righteous that you can’t allow others to live as they wish and THAT is a sin. It is quite clear to ANYONE who reads this outside of your own circle that your group is so insecure that they must try to diminish things that they don’t understand with blatant lies.
I feel sorry for you all–but only because you are truly missing out on all the wonderful bliss that life has to offer.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
4:16 pm
This was one of the best articles I have read on The Phish in a long time. I heard a story about a young The Phish convert named Jim and I just couldn’t believe it!
His name was Jim, took all of my old clothes with him. He was twelve years old when his trip began, hauling down the highway in my old sedan.
Now I wish someone tell me where old Jim went,’Cause he took all the money that I saved for rent. By the time he came home he was seventeen. That’s a hundred nineteen to you and me. Now I’m gonna go up to the mountain. Singing for Jim who’s swimming in the fountain.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
4:26 pm
Your “article” is riddled with inaccuracies and fanatical editorializing; this is not freedom of speech, it is blatant slander. There’s a reason news organizations have fact-checking departments and yours clearly need to be fired. You have no sources, you can’t back up any of your claims and nearly all of them are 100% false, relying solely on ignorant presumption.
For the record I don’t personally like Phish’s music and was raised in a Christian home. Christians – true followers of the teachings of Christ – would never fabricate such fantasy as means to an end. Did Jesus? Your hypocrisy reflects poorly on all people of faith.
Is there drug use at Phish concerts? Sure, by ticket-buyers. You know where else I’ve seen drug use? CHRISTIAN MUSIC CONCERTS AND FESTIVALS. Again, by attendees. I’m sure in this case you would argue that the promoters can’t be held accountable for what the attendees smuggle into the show. So why the double-standard?
If you expect respect you must first give it. Stop embarrassing yourself. It’s SO far-fetched it almost seems like a joke. No one can truly be this detached from reality…
Praise or Condemn:
0 
2
4:27 pm
You are absolutely right. If I were to actually like that article, I would also like “Gay Liberal Scientists Force Monkey to Kiss a Cat”
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
4:29 pm
Where is this “plentiful supply of supple young women”? I’ve certainly never encountered anything better than a 5:1 ratio at a Phish show.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
6:52 pm
As I noted in my article, the supple young women are made available to the trust fund hippie elite. Are you part of that crowd? If not, it would not be something you’d encounter.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
2:22 pm
I have seen “The Phish” over 30 times and I have no idea what you are talking about. Again, I am convinced this is a joke website (clearly, with all the christ crap on it), this ‘writer’ dude is just sitting back and laughing at people thinking he wrote this with any level of honesty. Is anyone else here afraid of people like that. Commies, masturbation and terrifying hippie dancing!! Yeah, that’s what we see when my wife, 2 kids and I go to the shows!
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
4:30 pm
The author of this has to be a psycho. I have been to almost a hundred shows and have never witnessed any of this. Maybe these good people that are against phish so much should take a good look at their judgmental selves and realize they are the reason why their kids are turning to drugs. This bullshit is completely false.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
4:35 pm
I am glad the truth of THE PHISH is finally coming to press. I have helped revive so many lost souls from the grip of the Devil you would have no idea how many. They speak in tongues. This is a very religious, brainwashed, mind control organization and the NWO did put a halt on them for several years until a new plan of attack could be deleivered. We are currently having THE PHISH concerts throughout the usa as a last resort attempt to trying to get as many of the drug users, child molestors , pediphiles and non Christians in jail where they belong. It is difficult to imagine the damage this cult has caused to so many good Christian families in America. I understand 2 of the members are Jews and it wasn’t enough that they killed Jesus but now they want to kill our children. As they cry blood libel what do we cry? Please for the Lover of GOD Jesus Christ our savior, who died on the cross for our sins and so that we would be forgiven and not go to hell bu tto enjoy an everylasting life in heaven with Jesus Father God, Lord be with us as we struggle to escape the wrath and stranglehold of these evil Jews who are stealing our youth of this country. I am willing to help spread the word of our GOD. Thank you so much for EDUCATING those who did not know that THE PHISH was an evil empire worse than even Nazi Hitler himself! Please also target the Further Festival with Phil Lesh and Bob Weir who should not be pretending to be the Grateful Dead without the prophet Jermone Garcia!!!!!! This is almost as disturbing as THE PHISH CULT!
Praise or Condemn:
4 
2
6:55 pm
Speak it brother!
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
11:15 pm
“…and non-Christians in jail as possible.”
I don’t see any connection as to why a non-christian need be in jail… We don’t believe the same as you and that equals jail how? Some of the ignorance that has come from this article amazes me. Get your facts together. Cite your references. Learn to think for yourself. Come together man.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
4:37 pm
Thanks for the informative article Mr. Billings! I will assume that everything you’ve written is 100% accurate and not the product of irrational fear or paranoia. All we need now is an article on the Grateful Dead – they started this whole mess! If it wasn’t for them we wouldn’t have to worry about the painful patchouli sex parties and reckless masturbation that’s destroying our precious, innocent youth. Oh, Mr. Billings, I wish you could raise all of our children for us!
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
4:41 pm
This is one of the funniest articles i have ever read. Who is anybody to judge what makes them happy?? Its not very christian like. Some people go to church to get there kicks, some people go to whorehouses, some people drink, and some people go to concerts. This article has so many flaws its crazy. The lyrics to prince caspian is “sowing seed and chaffing wheat”. If your gonna criticize someone at least know what your talking about. Marijuana is not a phish song. Phish is what music is all about, not Brittany spears teaching young girls to be whores. People will always do what they wont, and its getting that time when people leave god and religion out of everything. To each his own. Stop hating on what makes people happy.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
1
4:47 pm
Kon likes drugs!
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
4:48 pm
This is the most slanderous article I have ever read. The band has never endorsed any type of drug use, and has made statements that they do not want a following like the Grateful Dead. This is one reason they stopped playing for years. Yeah, some people do take drugs, but in no way can you universalize the actions of certain individuals. Sorry if you don’t appreciate the music. I can’t stand Christian rock music but I don’t write articles claiming they are trying to take over the world, which would clearly be much more accurate and a position one could defend based on facts not irrational accusations. It seems more your disadvantage to not have an open enough mind to appreciate music for the art that it is regardless of your personal preferences. Excellent job at exhibiting to a large group exactly how ignorant and unimportant you are. This really portrays the ‘accepting and loving’ characteristics you people claim to demonstrate.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
4:50 pm
Father please play with my testicles
http://stephensonbillings.wordpress.com/
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/profile.php?id=100001366922231
Just checked the authors facebook page
He likes little boys
He likes Charlton Heston, So he likes guns
He likes George Bush and Stephen Baldwin
And Clowns!!!!
“Special Leader of Christian Camping Trips for Hearty Teens!”
I would not trust you with my kids.
Dude you fit the profile of a child predator and
a nut case christian Extremist
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
4:52 pm
article: genius funny. (poorly rolled blunts anyone?)
outraged reaction: pretty disturbing. (Maybe a lot of you SHOULD cut back a little, your ability to discern intention seems to have been, uh, reduced.)
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
5:53 pm
I’ve actually read a sincere article like this about Nirvana, that basically said Kurt Cobain was in cahoots with Satan or something like that. So this article isn’t actually as implausible as some of the others on the website. The only way I could tell with this article is because it was much funnier than it would’ve been if written in earnest. Like he calls the them “The Phish” and puts quotes around normal phrases like “on tour” and stuff.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
4:52 pm
I went to my first The Phish show in 1995 when The Phish were really starting to experiment with mind control. The band used to have this secret language that they were teaching people back then so that us elders could go out and spread the word.
I remember seeing them that night at Hampton Coliseum and quickly turning some of my other friends on to The Phish. We immediately bought tickets to see The Phish at the Spectrum in Philly. We drove from Virginia Beach in my 1979 puke green VW Camper Van, which I now realize was nothing more than communication device that the band made me purchase in order to bring more people to the shows. When we rode in the van we would get messages from The Phish in songs like Esther, which is a song about sacrificing wookie women for the betterment of the Council of Nine Elders, which is the Secret group behind The Phish.
I am coming clean today and I am going to tell you who the Council of Nine Elders are:
1. The Dude of Life
2. Ninja Custodian
3. Mr. Miner
4. Chris Kuroda
5. John Paluska
6. Brad Sands
7. Paul Languedoc
8. Wilson
9. Tom Marshall
I hope that by my telling this short story other The Phish fans will make a change in their life. I really hate to see so many people devoting their life to the Phish who consist of Ray Antipasta, Spike Mordan, Mage Ponnel and Transexual Shaun Pissman.
Thank you Mr. Billings for giving us an outlet to voice our concerns and wishes for our youth.
God Bless all of you.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
0
5:03 pm
I hope the local and state and federal agencies are aware of this guy.
Definitely something is off with him
Get a bad feeling he is a child molester/serial killer
Maybe he should be reported to his local authorities
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
5:05 pm
who ever wrote this dribble rubbish obviously wasn’t at Festival8 where “the phish” proved that they are in fact spreading the gospel to the misguided yout’s of this nation:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0W1x-3aGwco
Can i get a witness? stand up and be counted!
They are a christian rock band moron! bigger than shinedown and better than creed!
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
5:06 pm
This is the most slanderous article I have ever read, which to educated readers immediately dismisses any accuracy of your accounts. Just in case you didn’t know, it is highly illegal to claim and speak badly of any individual or institution as facts that are merely your opinions. I’m not sure where you did your research, but it clearly was not within any real credited resources. Phish has never endoresed ‘implicitly’ drug use, and never buys drugs for fans? Are you kidding? The band actually stopped touring a couple years ago because they felt their concerts had become more about hanging out, and as you say using ‘drugs,’ than about their music. Simply because some people choose to engage in drug activity does not at all mean that can be universalized to all fans. I personally do not use or drink and love Phish. I also know that I’m not the only one. I realize it might be hard for some people to understand the possiblity of being comfortable enough to talk and have fun with strangers, especially for people so close minded and brain washed, but it exists and its much more real than any church I have ever been to. You can hide behind your bible and point fingers at everyone else, but it seems you are compromising the virtue of your own beliefs. Who makes you above everyone else? I’m pretty sure no one or no God does, at least the Christian God says do the exact opposite. It appears you feel threatened by any group that is growing and has no affiliation with the church. One more attempt to keep your customers coming back, ruling by fear, awesome promotion. Let people live their lives, focus on your own and your failing relationship with God. You might want to go ahead and get a good attorney.
Thanks for enforcing the stereotypes I have about Christians. I battle with them daily, but it continues to get harder when all the crazy people make speak their minds so publicly.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
6:59 pm
Please don’t threaten me and my family. I find it just wrong.
And this country would be nothing without our Freedom of Speech. It saddens me you have so little respect for that.
God bless and be well my young friend.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
5
7:56 pm
Stephenson Billings + alcoholic mother ≠ family
Praise or Condemn:
3 
2
9:06 pm
Yet you want to take away everyone else’s Freedom of Speech by telling them that they don’t deserve a voice.
Stay hypocritical Stevie, every sentence you type up just sends you one step closer to Hell.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
5:17 pm
It is true.
I was born in a pool of God’s vomit.
I heardeth His word, and His word was “Sorry.”
He then laideth down some sawdust.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
5:22 pm
This can’t be real. No one is that stupid.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
5:26 pm
Not all god’s people are good
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Christian_evangelist_scandals
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
5:28 pm
Dentists are the ones who abuse Nitrous Oxide far more than Phish fans. (and I mean personal use, NOT abusing patients with it) And since when do you use a crack pipe to “do cocaine”? If you actually researched your subject matter you would find out that the members of Phish and their lyricist Tom Marshall write about personal experiences like Tom’s wife having a baby et cetera. I am a Christian and I hate it when idiots try and blame all the evils in the world on music. And when the “God-fearing” leaders of the world are having sex with children, having affairs, using drugs, are alcoholics, beat their wives, cheat the government, etc, what message does THAT send about Christianity????
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
5:34 pm
Dear Billingsly,
Thank you for enlightening so many people to the horrors Phish brings the world. You forgot a few things though that I think may sway more good people into the light:
-They are part of a secret society founded by a Charles Darwin worship cult whose goal is to disseminate the crazy idea that the earth is a little more than six thousand years old, man evolved from primate and didn’t walk with Dinosaurs despite how obvious it is we did!
-Two of the band, I don’t know which, where questioned and suspected of being the 19th and 20th hijcackers that fateful day, 9/11/2001.
-They hypnotize the masses with a sonic neuro emission mind control device developed by the Nazis but later refined by the Reds. It’s in all of their instruments.
-They went to a Liberal Arts College!
-Trey is actually a witch from the 18th century that survived several witch hunts and through dark sorcery has lived this to gain the ear of President Obama. They talk regularly! In fact he oversaw Obama’s birth back in Kenya and cast a evil spell of protection over him.
-They believe the earth is round… ROUND! The lunacy!!!
-They believe they can fly. The believe they can tough the sky. They think about it every night and day. They spread their wings and fly away!
I hope this information helps in your quest to become a level 13 paladin of the militia of Christ. Hopefully you have a +2 attack iron keyboard and a +5 magical touch protected cape, preferably with an automatic cancellation of all meta-hippie cast spells.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
1
5:50 pm
this is an onion article, right??
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
6:02 pm
This is the most outlandish thing I have ever read in my life. I don’t know where you get your facts but obviously you have never been to any Phish shows. I have seen them a lot and I have never been promised anything let alone drugs or sex. What the crowd does or doesn’t do has nothing to do with the band. It is articles like this that really make me hate christians. Believe it or not God doesn’t really care what kind of music I listen to but God does care about honesty and this article is the biggest fabrication of lies I think I have ever read.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
6:03 pm
’96 Phish and some LSD is the closest anyone ever came to god. Learn some respect and go thump your bibles in private.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
1
6:03 pm
First, the band is “Phish.” Do your research before posting such a brazen attack on an extremely successful band. Comparing them to Manson is the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard, being that no member of Phish has ever coerced people into murder. That’s just a minor detail. Furthermore using Britney Spears as an example for ANYTHING is the second most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Do you know she’s been in rehab? Do you know she held, in her arms, her infant child?
Drugs are an unfortunate part of this world. It is up to PARENTS to guide their children and let the children act on their own. Saying that Phish is responsible for kids’ drug use is the third most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. “Phish” has never said anything about drug use on stage. THey’ve never said they were on anything, they’ve never said TO do anything….EVER!!!
Do your research.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
6:58 pm
I never said I supported Britney Spears. In fact, I find her intensely offensive. I merely used her as an example of what other successful performers did with their celebrity. They did not feel the need to jump in their tour buses and prowl urban streets for the lost and confused. I certainly find that creepy!
Praise or Condemn:
1 
3
9:15 pm
//I never said I supported Britney Spears. In fact, I find her intensely offensive. I merely used her as an example of what other successful performers did with their celebrity. They did not feel the need to jump in their tour buses and prowl urban streets for the lost and confused. I certainly find that creepy!//
You didn’t ever catch the news on her then, did you? She got into drugs (had to go to rehab at least once several years ago), she went completely bat shit insane and shaved her head completely bald, she had issues with her children and child services, and she was getting married and divorcing guys several times in a short period of time.
Not only that, you don’t know what the band does period, quite literally. You make the accusation that they prowl and pick up the ‘lost and confused’ (which would be what exactly?) without any evidence whatsoever, and whatever evidence you DO present is completely made up and nothing but a pack of lies.
Dignity Stevie, try to get some.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
6:05 pm
Have I just gone blind from all those drugs that have been injected into me by the band members? I did not see one true Biblical reference in this article. Not to mention, with all the terminology that has been used (aside from “The Phish”,) methinks someone else has spent a few hours on lot himself….
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
7:02 pm
“By their fruits you will know them. Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles? Just so, every good tree bears good fruit, and a rotten tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a rotten tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire. So by their fruits you will know them.” –Matthew 7: 16-20.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
2
9:41 pm
“You should be ashamed of yourself making false threats to intimidate my freedom of speech. Your hippies are so willing to embrace the Bill of Rights when it gives you the opportunity to spout off about marijuana and William Randolf Hearst, yet once someone starts reading from the Bible you demand he be silenced. For shame.. You know so little of the greatest traditions that this nation is founded upon.”
A little belated don’t you think? You weren’t reading from the bible in your article. You were spouting your inaccurate assumptions and trying to fill in the blanks for folks trapped in your dogmatic beliefs to eliminate their chance of developing any opinions of their own.
Blessed be, my extremely sad little man…
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
1:53 am
My hands are in the air
My head bowed in prayer
witness to the unwashed, Sister!
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
6:06 pm
too long didn’t read
Praise or Condemn:
0 
3
6:07 pm
Thank you for writing this. This article made me very scared. I immediately was moved to destroy any Phish albums My Family owned. Unfortunately as law abiding Americans and Christians we do not own any Phish albums. I promptly went to the local store and bought some. As soon as I got home I immediately threw the cd and case in the fire. The Case burned not like wood, but had the unholy black smell and nauseating fumes that you would expect of the devil. I am pretty sure That in the smoke I saw a demons face too.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
6:07 pm
It’s satire, people. Don’t get yr corduroys in a bunch.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
6:08 pm
PS. We can write false defamation articles about CHRISTWIRE as well. Your website will never see the end of this.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
6:09 pm
Please help me too. I am 30 years old and have been a slave to the PHISH for at least 15 years. should I go to rehab?
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
6:12 pm
i didnt know the Onion bought Christwire what did it cost 30 pieces of silver? this article is HILARIOUS
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
6:45 pm
brilliant. utterly brilliant.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
6:46 pm
If you masturbate you will get hair on your palms… I’m just sayin…
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
6:56 pm
Anyone who replies to this article (like me right now) is paying for this article, right? I see a shit ton of ads on this site which leads me to believe that he makes his money off hits. I could be wrong but there are an awful lot of replies here.
Does this opinion actually matter anyway?
does mine?
Stop reading this bullshit and go do something more constructive like not paying hacks for their propagandist fodder.
Note: I just wasted 30 minutes of my life
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
7:00 pm
Now I know who to picture when I sing “Wilson.”
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
7:01 pm
OK, I read the whole thing and I’m convinced that you’re just trolling. If you are actually this ignorant then I fear for the future of humanity.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
7:16 pm
I think this article screams of what the church is really all about. This is filled with sex and lies I think before you talk about an amazing band you should all check yourself and practice what you preach. You speak about sex and little boys because i think that is what the church is obsessed with these days. This is why people are afraid of religion I can see here that freedom of speech is alive and well. If i was the writer of this article I would be ashamed of myself. Get a real job and maybe you might get professional and get published in a real magazine you looser. GOD BLESS YOUR SOUL>>> LONG LIVE PHISH
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
7:33 pm
“Thou shall not bear false witness on your neighbor.”
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
7:50 pm
whoever published this truly needs to get a life as a follower christ if yall are worried about this yall arent saved.. get a life and quit CONDEMING PEOPLE
YALL ARENT LIVING TE GOSPEL OUT i bet yall got articles on christian hip hop is wrong… yall need to HAVE A REAL RELATIONSHIP with Jesus cuz he wouldnt tell u do say god hates fags and all that… yall give christians a real bad name you people
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
8:06 pm
Funniest shit I’ve ever read.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
8:26 pm
HEY EVERYONE – CALM DOWN!!!!!
If you can’t recognize that this article is completely amazing satire, then you might be a little bit retarded. We all know that there are crazy religious fanatics out there, but those people don’t write articles like this. Despite its (deliberate) inaccuracies, the article is very well-written, and it is hysterically funny. This is probably the best article I’ve ever read about my favorite band!
What is amazing is how many people are fooled by this. Apparently even Phish believes this is a genuine article written by some delusional whack-job. Law suit threats in the comments section? Jeez, calm down Phish Legal!
“Stephenson Billings” is some dude’s alter-ego. He might even be a fan of “The Phish”.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
6:59 pm
Wow, how do you know this? Are you a friend of mine? It’s all too absurd. I am a man, I am of flesh. I am not some hippie pipe dream.
http://stephensonbillings.wordpress.com/about-mr-billings/
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
8:34 pm
One question – what kind of music does the author listens to ?
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
8:39 pm
This site is awesome, you guys kick The Onion’s ass.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
8:47 pm
“There are ballads with titles that celebrate narcotic experimentation such as, “Marijuana” and “Christmas Without Weed.”
There are no songs with these titles. I have been seeing Phish…not “The Phish” for the past 19 years. I own a small tutoring business that provides for my family. My wife stays at home to raise our kids. We have two boys, 4 and 6. We happen to love live music. It is art. Seeing Phish is akin to watching Picasso paint. That is why I still see them. I know that I am witnessing creation at its birthplace. Nothing quite so inspiring other than the birth of my children. The point is this, of course there are drugs. Just as drugs are pervasive in society in general, they are available when seeing Phish. I for one do not use drugs. I have in the past and evolved past this experimentation period. For me, the music is so amazing that drugs simply interfere in the process. So back off of “The Phish” and understand that these are men with families trying to make a living doing what GOD gave to them, a real musical talent that affords them the opportunity to spread joy to millions of fans.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
0
8:56 pm
Wow. Just wow. If anyone wants to contact the owner of this site, you can do so and let him know what you think about his well-researched and considerate prose (sorry, did I get some sarcasm on you?) by using the public information associated with his website available on EasyWhoIs.com Just in case you don’t feel like looking it up, God has asked that I provide it for you here:
Admin Street2:15111 N. Hayden Rd., Ste 160, PMB 353
Admin Street3:
Admin City:Scottsdale
Admin State/Province:Arizona
Admin Postal Code:85260
Admin Country:US
Admin Phone:+1.4806242599
Admin Phone Ext.:
Admin FAX:+1.4806242598
Admin FAX Ext.:
Praise or Condemn:
4 
1
8:58 pm
“By their fruits you will know them. Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles? Just so, every good tree bears good fruit, and a rotten tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a rotten tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire. So by their fruits you will know them.” –Matthew 7: 16-20.
You sir, live in a sad world of black and white. What is it like to never see nuance in any situation?
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
9:01 pm
Its about the MUSIC
This article is def fake, no christian can behave like this, Blasphemy
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
9:31 pm
This is funny! Nice work. I like your humor.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
9:35 pm
Can you help me? I was led into this cult several years ago by some so-called “friends”. They took me to a concert and made me smoke some very strong marijuana. Then they began feeding me this white powder, I think they called it Mandy? Next thing I knew I was backstage and the drummer was touching me in places he shouldn’t have, while the bassist was asking me if I had any younger brothers. They got me hooked on the pot and now I can’t stop this awful lifestyle. Can you help?
Praise or Condemn:
1 
2
9:51 pm
You idiot, Trey IS Jesus.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
10:26 pm
I’m all about a class action suit against this hell bound motherfucker.
“Let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence”
-So can your daughter be my wife so I can fuck her face all day and all night? Or in the ass? I mean thats legit right? If we’re married I can tell her to do whatever I want. She’d be my slave if we were wed in the church, right? You won’t admit it, but I know you know what I’m talking about you little man.
You are a scared little homo. I feel bad for you and people who actually believe anything you or anyone on this site says.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
5
7:00 pm
Please wear appropriate clothing when you arrive in court.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
10:48 pm
SAVE YOUR LIFE! READ THE FUCKING BOOK! READ IT! READ THE BOOK! SAVE YOUR FUCKING LIFE. READ THE DAMNED BOOK ALREADY! READ IT! SAVE YOUR LIFE. WHILE YOU STILL CAN. IT’S NOT TOO LATE TO JUST READ THE FUCKING BOOK! PUT DOWN YOUR IPHONES AND VIDEO PLAYERS AND JUST FUCKING PICK UP THE BOOK! AND READ IT! COVER TO COVER! READ THE FUCKING BOOK. SAVE-YOUR-LIFE! SAVE IT!
sTOP WATING YOUR TIME AND JUST READ THE FUCKING BOOK ALREADY! READ THE BOOK. SAVE YOUR LIFE. WE’VE GOT IT SOMPLE – BECAUSE WE READ THE FUCKING BOOK DAILY. READ THE FUCKING BOOK. YOU ARE WASTING TIME. GO READ THE FUCKING BOOK! SAVE YOUR LIFE! SAVE IT. SAVE IT GOOD. READ-THE-FUCKING BOOK ALREADY!
Praise or Condemn:
5 
1
10:49 pm
While there may be some things that is said here that are true; I would say as a Christian writer, don’t you think that you should be writing about the Reckoning that’s occurring now instead? The shores are filling with dead fish, the birds are falling from the sky, and the Earth is quaking, with floods and all kinds of other disasters. I would be more worried about these things rather than some musical group that is playing! You need guns, ammunition, food, water, and gasoline right now; not rhetoric about the evils of rock and roll right now! When the rapture comes YOU will be left behind!
Praise or Condemn:
2 
2
11:06 pm
People…pull your head off the goddamn tanks long enough to recognize a JOKE when you see one. This “expose”is hilarious. The supercilious “wooks” and righteous “noobs” taking offense are just clueless. Remember when your average Phish kid was, as Garrison Keillor might say, “Above Average?”
Well played, Billings. I just have one question for the fatuous flotsam:
“When was the last time one of you PICKED UP A FUCKING BOOK?!”
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
11:09 pm
Oh Daniel saw the stone that was hewed out the mountain
Daniel saw the stone that came rolling through Babylon
Daniel saw the stone that was hewed out the mountain
Coming down to redeem a mighty world
[repeat above 4 lines]
Well, meet me, Jesus, meet me
Meet me in the middle of the air
‘Cause now if these wings should fail me
Lord, I want to hitch on another pair
Oh Jesus was the stone that was hewed out the mountain
Jesus was the stone that came rolling through Babylon
Jesus was the stone that was hewed out the mountain
Coming down to redeem a mighty world
[repeat above 4 lines]
Oh, well the tree it was bending
Up in the heavenly land
Well, my God spoke unto the Holy Ghost
He said, “Come on and let’s make man”
I’m looking for the stone that was hewed out the mountain
I’m looking for the stone that came rolling through Babylon
I’m looking for the stone that was hewed out the mountain
Coming down to redeem a mighty world
[repeat above 4 lines]
Well, now, early in the morning the trumpet’s gonna sound
The dead and Christ is gonna rise
Well, if you ain’t got good religion
Lord, then hell you’ll open your eyes
I found that stone that was hewed out the mountain
I found the stone that came rolling through Babylon
I found the stone that was hewed out the mountain
Coming down to redeem a mighty world
[repeat above 4 lines]
The main difference between this version and Phish’s version is that Phish only uses the first verse cited here (“meet me, Jesus, meet me”). The other verse that Trey sings (the only other verse) is this:
Well, I saw a weary traveler
He was walking on down the road
Well, I saw him later that evening
He was walking on down that road
[followed by the "walk, walk, walk..." part]
More lyrics: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/p/phish/#share
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
11:11 pm
WSPSUX. that is all
Praise or Condemn:
1 
2
11:13 pm
Amazing grace, oh how sweet the sound
That saved a wreck like me
I once was lost, though now I’m found
I was blind, but now I see
When we’ve been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun
We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise
Then when, when we first begun
Too many ages false and spent
I have already hung
This face and flock He saved us by
His endless grace will leave me whole
Amazing grace, oh how sweet the sound
To save a wreck like me
I once was lost, but now I’m found
I was blind, but now I see
More lyrics: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/e/elvis+presley/#share
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
11:17 pm
“and god never listens to what i say
so very – so very hard
and you don’t get a refund if you over pray”
– S. Billings singing the phish classic “Lifeboy” – after an all night session of reading the fucking book and praying to mecca! shama Llama islam a salam!
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
11:40 pm
It’s just Phish, not “the Phish” ha ha, you people are lunitics, educate yourselves sheep-le
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
12:05 am
“Don’t Criticise what you can’t understand, your sons and your daughters are beyond your command…your old road is rapidly changing. So get out of the new one if you can’t lend a hand for the times they are a changin’” -Dylan
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
12:17 am
haha jeeeez….just go on w your 4 letter word free life and dont worry about phish or its fuckin fans……your child listening to phish and doin drugs doesnt say anything about phish or its fans…..it says youre a shitty parent
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
12:41 am
I would like you to know I’m an RN and I go to Phish shows. Many Phish shows. I travel around the country and dance to this devils music . . . and then I go to the hospital and take care of my patients. Pretty irresponsible huh??? I mean what kind of person goes to see “THE PHISH” and takes care of sick individuals in a SAFE and RESPONSIBLE manner. Weird isn’t it. Hmmmm . . .
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
1:15 am
Not everyone that loves Phish is a druggie, they have amazing musical talent. For being religous you guys sure are judgemental. Peace Love and Save the Whales
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
1:39 am
you are a faggot idiot
Praise or Condemn:
0 
3
1:40 am
Dear Stephenson,
I found your article both thought provoking and fair. As a person who followed The Phish throughout the country while I was in my mid twenties, I believe that your article was on point. If anything, your article held back a bit in exposing the wanton masturbation and penetration that prevails at The Phish concerts.
At the risk of sounding crude, I was forcibly sodomized in one of the aforementioned school busses after the show by none other than lead singer Trey Anastasio and pianist Page McConnell. I had been rendered into a near helpless state by copious amounts of LSD and heroin which had been placed into a cigarette that I had smoked. In total, I was raped seventeen times.
Fortunately I found the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ almighty and am not preaching the dangers of The Phish wherever and whenever possible.
God Bless,
Glen
Praise or Condemn:
6 
2
2:01 am
Everybodywangchung/Glen: I feel for your plight, my brother in Christ. I have read reputable texts that indicate Mr. Anastasio and Mr. McConnell are both well-endowed, and I pray in His name that you did not require surgery. Please tell your congregations about the dangers of “The Phish” through your moving personal accounts.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
1:49 am
I’m confused – I thought I was reading The Onion. Stephenson Billings, you have a career waiting for you at The Onion. Because spoofs and ridiculosity are your strong suits. I don’t think you’ve actually listened to an actual note of a Phish song. And if I’d known that group masturbation was the norm at Phish shows, I’d certainly have seen more than the two dozen or so that I did back in the day. Guess we’re all having different experiences in this life, thank the Good Lord.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
3:20 am
“Motivational Children’s Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector”? Sounds like the makings of a pedophile to me. Is that why you’re able to tap into Phish’s (where on earth did get ‘the’ in ‘the phish’ from?) alleged motivation for luring in the kiddos? You’re only incriminating yourself there buddy. As you said, pot smokers tend to be too stoned to be so focused on such an elaborate strategy.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
3:32 am
This reminds me of the DEA Convention scene in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. GROOOOOOOOOOOOOVEY!!!!!!!!!!!
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
3:53 am
PHISH WILL PREVAIL BLOOD SUCKKKKKAS!!!!!!
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
4:15 am
That article is the biggest load of horse shit iv ever read.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
6:31 am
Sounds about right! FOSSILS!! Evolution!!
Focus on your self !! Phish makes people happy, unlike your money sucking fake church!!! FOSSILS!
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
9:06 am
Peace be with ewe
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
9:35 am
Who the fuck cares anyway. This band has no soul. They just go on stage and make a bunch of sounds. WSP FOR LIFE BITCHES!!!
Praise or Condemn:
1 
3
9:47 am
Is this a joke? Because, seriously, this is the FUNNIEST analysis of Phish’s lyrics I have ever read. The one about Bouncin’ encouraging violence about women? Classic.
YAY for right-wing fundamentalism! It is the source of so much hilarity.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
10:06 am
I am sorry but this article has got to be a joke. I am a christian. I attend church on a regular basis as well as a weekly bible study. I volunteer and am part of a care team and as of this Sunday part of the clean-up team as well. I have been to see Phish a few times because the music is good. I am a person that LOVES music.. a love God gave me.. Naked people in mosh pits having orgies ?!?! Really ? NOT TRUE… Drug use, yes but NOT everyone… You will find that anywhere though… Maybe even next door to you.. The song’s you mentioned “Christmas Without Weed” from my research appears to be a satirical song by Tenacious D and “Marijuana” even you link plainly says music & lyrics by Brian Robbins. Brian Robbins is not in Phish.. Listen.. Some people that read this said this is what churches are all about NOT TRUE !! The last thing you need to do it turn people away from Christ…You are to be LOVING , and ACCEPTING, and NON-JUDGMENTAL ! The bible is full of verses speaking against slander/lies..
You might want to read..”Lev.19:16 Do not go about spreading slander among your people” “Psalm 101:5 Whoever slanders their neighbor in secret I will put to silence” “Psalm 140:11 May slanderers not be established in the land; may disaster hunt down the violent” There are so many more but I think that is enough.. May God bless you, help you be more accepting & loving.. remember..
If you love you “enemy” and do kind things for them you are more likely to show the the love that Christ has for them as well….
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
10:46 am
Perhaps Stephenson Billings should stick to antique soda bottle collecting because this is some of the worst “journalism” I have ever witnessed.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
10:47 am
I have never been to a Phish show. I have never been on drugs at a Phish show. I know people that have been to Phish shows and they lead normal lives at home. As for all the people who have been illegally searched and seizures have taken place, that is your fault for not knowing the laws that have been written to protect you. All hippies I know like to dance and are non-violent, but come on, some hippies are going way to overboard with themselves. Take a shower, wear deodorant, comb your hair and maybe you wouldnt give the greater whole of the phish followers a bad rapport! Peace on Earth and good will toward man and woman!
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
11:12 am
is this moron even aware that Prince Caspian is based on a book written by one of the preeminent christian apologists of the twentieth century? cocaine use? clear reference? I personally detest phish, but you, sir are high.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
11:21 am
MY little friend Stevie,
You should come on down to Texas and join our wonderful church, Fellowship of the Sun. We’re on a path to eliminate all vampires and homosexuals from the world, and I think we should add The Phish to that list.
If you’re as good as you say you are, I’d like to invite you to try out for the Light of Day Institute for those that are truly inspired to do God’s work.
http://fellowshipofthesun.org/index.html
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
11:29 am
this is the most absurd article- eerily reminds me of “reefer madness.” I guess some people will just never get it. Go to a Phish show. It;s a lot more than “a bunch of fucked up people on drugs.” I guess i missed out on the giant orgy too–
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
11:44 am
HOOK, LINE, & SINKER
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
12:00 pm
“Studies comparing religious belief and I.Q.
In 2008, intelligence researcher Helmuth Nyborg examined whether IQ relates to denomination and income, using representative data from the National Longitudinal Study of Youth, which includes intelligence tests on a representative selection of white American youth, where they have also replied to questions about religious belief. His results, published in the scientific journal Intelligence demonstrated that on average, Atheists scored 1.95 IQ points higher than Agnostics, 3.82 points higher than Liberal persuasions, and 5.89 IQ points higher than Dogmatic persuasions. [4] “I’m not saying that believing in God makes you dumber. My hypothesis is that people with a low intelligence are more easily drawn toward religions, which give answers that are certain, while people with a high intelligence are more skeptical,” says the professor.”
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
12:03 pm
This article is obviously satire. It is hilarious. And the comments here are hilarious. But it does bring up a thought about the scene, so I’m going to be serious for a second.
I think in all this comedy about “hedonism” there is a serious point to be made. Part of why I have always loved “The Phish” is that it was a GOOD scene. I’m not talking about drugs and sex, and I certainly don’t give a cr@p about organized religion, but the best thing about the scene for me is/was THE LOVE. Back in the 90s there was a lot more of that feeling that we were all looking out for each other and helping share the groove and spreading the love and good vibrations. It seems that a lot of that has taken a back seat to the “KYS n00b” crowd. I want to blame PT, but that’s just a chat board, so that would be unfair to those who actually care about their fellow brother and sister. Either way, somewhere along the line it became cool to hate on people for no good reason. The people that participate in hating on their brother or sister because they like a song or didn’t like a jam, not simply disagreeing with, but literally showering them with hate… those people, imho, are totally missing the point of phish, live music, and I would argue, life in general.
There is no “answer” for this and I’m not saying those people are “bad people”, I just wanted to throw that out there as my opinion on what I have seen in the scene since the early 90s.
IMHO: Do what you like. But BE GOOD to your brother and sister. Handle your sh1t.
I’ve seen over 100 shows since ’95 including 7 in ’09 and 10 in ’10. I intend to see many more. But just like I don’t want to see Trey get fd up on oxys and f up the whole scene for everyone else, I ALSO don’t want our scene to f it up for THEM because WE were stupid and careless. Let’s be positive and healthy so we can rage together forever.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
12:05 pm
So I just turned 18 I go to this christian group called young life. Everyone at the camp ends up seing jesus there it is incredible!!!!!! But guess what I’ve yet to see him there, but amazingly enough I saw him at The Phish show he was a cool dude he blessed me and everything! can you please explain this phenominon Mr. Billings, because I realized that day that Jesus dosnt just love you if your with a christion group, he even loves you when your partying it up with all of your hippie friends so please explain that to me Phish is for anyone including GOOD christians (note i said good that means not christwire because yall judge people way too much for gods approval) Well Mr. Billings hope to see you memorial day weekend in hampton Peace out
P.S. may the love of trey, mike, john, and page be with you
Praise or Condemn:
5 
0
12:06 pm
Because of this band, I’m now addicted to heroin, pills, cocain, crack, methamphetamines, heroin, cocain, pills, crack, and masturbation.
But this article, and Jesus, has given me the strength to quit masturbating.
PRRAAAISSEEE THE LAAAWWDDDDDDDDD!!!
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
12:08 pm
It is clear that the elders of this “society” are power-hungry fiends, and have constructed an elaborate edifice aimed at seducing the weak-minded. Their mythology is intentionally ambiguous so that any lost soul can imagine some deeper meaning to their message. They revel in the worship of false idols, elevating mere men to the status of God. The elders frequently engage in all sorts of perversions, from sexual abuse of minors to corruption and fraud. Moreover, the men try to blur sexual boundary lines, wearing long robes and dresses. They rituals are Dionysian, and they use intoxication as a means of worship. They even engage in the paganistic – and cannibalistic – ritual of drinking the blood and eating the flesh of their leaders! This is truly an amoral and hedonistic society, with no place in our America.
Oh wait, that’s Christianity.
Oh well, may god bless Sarah Palin.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
12:18 pm
If you claim to be an “intelligent Christian,” you should probably be ashamed to know that “Prince Caspian” is based off of one of the books in the highly religious Christian-allegory series The Chronicles of Narnia, written by noted Christian writer and zealot C.S. Lewis.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
12:18 pm
Satire
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
12:20 pm
“they will abandon any sense of camaraderie to lifelong friends in order to scheme closer seats and vivacious women”
So…… whats the problem here?
what a joke article. author i a complete whack job.
“jesus, save me from your followers!”
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
12:25 pm
Christwire. You fail to discuss the fact that there is a huge movement since the band
has been back from their hiatus revolving around sobriety.
And your interpretation of their songs is completely incorrect.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
12:41 pm
I stared up at the mountain
And wiped away the beads of sweat
That glistened on my brow
My tired feet were buried in the quagmire
And my bloodshot eyes saw all that lay between me
And fulfillment of my vow
And I felt my fingers wrap around a knotted root
And pulled my body upwards
To a sea green mossy boulder
And I dragged my weary carcass up the mountain
And I climbed so slowly
I climbed so slowly
Ahead
Ahead
Suddenly I heard the crack of thunder
And the rocks began to crumble overhead
And tumble down the mountain to the
Dismal swamp that lay beneath the jagged cliffs
through which my path had ledmy feet
And the mighty mountain changed before my eyes
And I stood amidst a sea of dust and rocks and stones
Cascading down the mountain
And a thousand birds were headed for the sky. Oh…
The sacred creed will be mine
And if you wait until tomorrow
The sacred creed will be mine
To devour
Mine
To seize
And to obey
Obey
When the dust had cleared, I lifted up my head
And was driven to my knees by a blazing beam of light
And I saw the silhouette that stood before me
And I bowed in reverence
Trembling in the shadow of the mighty legend’s form
Icculus the prophet stood before my eyes
Looking down on me
Where he shuddered in the puddles and the muck
And he quietly addressed me
And he spoke so slowly
He spoke so slowly
Ahead
He said
Colonel Forbin I know why you’ve come here
And I’ll help you with your quest to gain the knowledge that you lack
I call upon my faithful friend the mockingbird
To fly and seize the helping book and bring it to your shack
And a tree of knowledge in your soul will grow
And the Helping Friendly Book will plant the seed
But I warn you that all knowledge seeming innocent and pure
Becomes a deadly weapon in the hands of avarice
And greed
The sacred greed will be yours
And if you wait until tomorrow
The sacred creed will be yours
To devour
Yours
To seize
And to obey
And to obey
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
12:42 pm
Anyone who thinks this is a real article = MORON
Maybe this guys should do a follow up story on how gullible idiotic Phish fans are.
This is investigative journalism at its best.
Keep up the good work!!
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
12:43 pm
Mike’s->Christmas Without Weed->Marijuana->Makisupa Policeman->Hydrogen->Weekapaug
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
1:16 pm
I believe everything I read. It seems to me The Phish have been following me around for years.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
1:29 pm
this is obviously a joke!?! at least i hope it’s joke? lol
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
1:36 pm
I stared up at the mountain
And wiped away the beads of sweat
That glistened on my brow
My tired feet were buried in the quagmire
And my bloodshot eyes saw all that lay between me
And fulfillment of my vow
And I felt my fingers wrap around a knotted root
And pulledmy body upwards
To a sea green mossy boulder
And I dragged my weary carcass up the mountain
And I climbed so slowly
I climbed so slowly
Ahead
Ahead
Suddenly I heard the crack of thunder
And the rocks began to crumble overhead
And tumble down the mountain to the
Dismal swamp that lay beneath the jagged cliffs
through which my path had ledmy feet
And the mighty mountain changed before my eyes
And I stood amidst a sea of dust and rocks and stones
Cascading down the mountain
And a thousand birds were headed for the sky. Oh…
The sacred creed will be mine
And if you wait until tomorrow
The sacred creed will be mine
To devour
Mine
To seize
And to obey
Obey
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
7:06 pm
Fake.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
2
7:34 pm
Proof it’s fake?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
1:44 pm
If this is not a joke then this poor christian man needs to go to church and confess for writing such an inaccurate article. I am not even sure what to say……….Dear God, forgive him.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
1:48 pm
Worthy of ‘The Onion’. Hilarious! Good work.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
1:58 pm
hahahahahahahaha….I was literally laughing out loud by myself in my living room reading this article. Totally untrue…guys barely take time to pee in the portos, let alone jerk off in one! lol. I have to think this is complete satire, “the phish”?? lol. I thoroughly enjoyed this. At the age of 30, and after 24 shows, I will be back for more, but then maybe that means I am a member of the cult just waiting to drink the Kool Aid. I
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
1:58 pm
EPIC FAIL. YOU HAVE NO QUALIFICATIONS TO WRITE THIS ARTICLE. YOU ARE BRAINLESS, DICKLESS, HOPELESS, FRIENDLESS, SOUL-LESS AND YOU ARE A PEDOPHILE. JESUS CHRIST HIMSELF WOULD HAVE A HARD TIME NOT KICKING YOU IN THE NUTS. HOW DARE YOU CALL YOURSELF A JOURNALIST, AS YOU BRING SHAME TO THE TITLE. SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO WRITE BACK. I TYPED WITH ONE HAND AND MASTURBATED TO YOUR SODA BOTTLE COLLECTION WITH THE OTHER (WHO THE FUCK COLLECTS SODA BOTTLES) KYS YOU DOUCHE
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
7:06 pm
CALM DOWN!!!!
Praise or Condemn:
1 
3
7:37 pm
Says the man-child who gets upset whenever someone says he’s wrong.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
1:58 pm
hahahahahahahaha….I was literally laughing out loud by myself in my living room reading this article. Totally untrue…guys barely take time to pee in the portos, let alone jerk off in one! lol. I have to think this is complete satire, “the phish”?? lol. I thoroughly enjoyed this. At the age of 30, and after 24 shows, I will be back for more, but then maybe that means I am a member of the cult just waiting to drink the Kool Aid.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
2:00 pm
Stephen, you quote the Bible yet you judge others. I guess you missed that verse? I respect indiviudal rights to free speech, yours included. However, your article has a number of factual misrepresentations. By commenting I am unfortunately dignifying it to a certain degree and it’s doesn’t worthy. As respectable tax paying business owner, former Deadhead and current Phish fan, I am qualified to inform you that catagorizing a band and their entire Phan base is the result of narrow view of humanity. Your opinion is analgous to me stating the Church is evil becuase it’s priests manipulate and molest little buys. What’s worse about the church is there aren’t any chemicals clouding one decision making ability.
Frankly the Church is a far worse band to follow than Phish. Open your eyes to what’s really happening which is the decline of western civilization and neither god nor Phish nor anyone else can stop it.
May you find enlightenment through love and music the way we Phish Phans do.
Should you care to do so behind a shield of morality and church is your choice just as our pursuit is ours and ours alone to follow! Our sword of righteousness is more powerful than yours since we are not confined the way you are.
See you on the other side!
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
2:01 pm
I had no idea that Christ was so concerned about the well-beng of consumerism! Here I thought that the Bible taught peace and love, but you say it’s about judging others and filling the world with misdirected hatred based on misinformation that plays on the fears of parents! I had no idea that that’s what Christians aimed to do! Thanks for making it so clear.
This article could not be filled with more made up lies if the “writer” tried. Total and complete propaganda based on blatant lies. You need to grow up and learn to behave like an adult Mr. Billings.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
2:06 pm
Seriously, I think an eight year old-wrote this.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
7:07 pm
I am 53.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
3
7:38 pm
You may be 53, but you certainly act like an eight year old.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
2:15 pm
Seriously? This is your take on the band Phish? You really need to get out from under your rock and live a little. Based on the facts you state above, you clearly don’t have a clue about the music Phish plays, the band members or the origins of the term Phishing. What a laugher this article is. If anyone believes this, please drop me an e-mail, I have a bridge that you need to buy – today (one day sale)!
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
2:15 pm
This is the funniest article I have ever read! Seriously, is this stand up comedy?
I nearly fell out of my seat laughing! The scary part is that some of right wing
christian crazies will probably take this as some level of fact or truth, thus
making the scene more dangerous (ie: bring their guns to the parking lot, etc)
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
2:32 pm
I’m pretty sure you may go to hell for wrighting such bull shit. Fuck you, phish is amazing and “the phish” is not a band you fuck
Praise or Condemn:
2 
2
2:32 pm
Just about nailed it. No place I’d rather be than doing some meth while the phish type 2′s christmas without weed. FIREMOST
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
2:39 pm
what’s wrong with violent masturbation? i’m not hurting anyone. i promise that i’ll sodomize you all sweetly.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
2:47 pm
This is probably the most absurd article I have ever read! I’m certain that the author must be joking. Phish is one of the most musically talented and creative bands of our time. I advise anyone who has read this article to attend a Phish concert themselves, and experience something that will truly be remembered by so many dedicated fans as a hallmark of contemporary music culture.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
2:48 pm
Dear Stephenson Billings of Christwire.org,
You are the worst journalist of all time. The number one rule of journalism is to check your facts. Just from the beginning you are bashing a band, “The Phish”, in an incredibly slanderous manner. That isn’t a problem if you were say,”blogging,” but as this seems to be a more commercial website you should handle yourself more professionally. The bands name is Phish, genius. Not “The Phish” as your article keeps referring. How can you write an article bashing a band and you aren’t even aware of the title said band calls themselves. That immediately crushes your credibility. Also can you honestly say that Phish is comparable to Charles Manson and Jim Jones. Honestly? That’s just ignorant and pathetic as a writer and supposed intellect. How cold and uncaring, from a so called Christian, to under mind such tragedies by comparing them to a rock band. 900 people were killed by Jim Jones. 900!! How dare you make that any less significant? I can only hope the family of those victims never read this article. And what is this deal about communism? If anything it’s very far from communism. Socialist maybe because everyone is communal and share what they have. Oh and of course they actively support the dreaded HEALTH CARE BILL!! OH NO!! Damn commis I guess. Plus your facts about drug use are diluted. If police did a sweep of your neighborhood I bet you would be astonished at what was turned up. This article is completely bogus and I hope Phish Legal sues you senseless!
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
3:10 pm
Praises GB! praises! i’m so glad you’ve excepted cheesus into your heart lungs and hula hoop! oh wait wrong evil commy band
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
3:19 pm
You must be the dumbest Motivational Children’s Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector on earth.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
3:23 pm
as a strict Christan and a fully educated and licensed lawyer in the state of Ohio for many years.. i can honestly tell you these are lies. there are plenty of good honest ppl in the phish scene.
this article was in fact humorous tho… to see someone so cornered with a scene they obviously know so little about.
so to all you hardcore Christians out there.. please download LIFEBOY.. by phish give it a listen.. than judge
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
3:28 pm
PTisgod, the fact that you have to sign off with “WSP SUX” shows what an incredibly large tool you must be. I’m so sick of the Panic/Phish/SCI arguments. Since when are you only allowed to like one band. If you’re a true music fan you appreciate many types of music. And the fact that your name is “PTisgod” validates even more what a major douche you must be. Grow up and broaden you music horizon kid. I guess you don’t like The Beatles, Bob Dylan, Neil Young, Grateful Dead, Sly and the Family Stone, Temptations, or hundreds of other good bands, because you only like Phish and “WSP SUX”. What a tool.
And Bob, the article is a joke moron. If you can’t realize that you are absolutely brain dead!! Oh, and everything I said about Ptisgod relates to you also since you felt it necessary to sign off with “WSP SUX” as well. Fucking morons!!
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
3:48 pm
Stevie… will be looking for your next article brother.. we know where to find you.. wink
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
4:03 pm
Dear Mr. Stephenson Billings
I just read your article “Just Say No to Phish”. As your article definitely speaks for it self, I don’t feel the need to address anything individually, so i will just sum it up for your little closed minded brain.
Who ever is giving you your information is taking you for a ride my friend. Perhaps Jebus is standing on your shoulder, masquerading as a little green martian, and he is whispering into your ear these delusional fantasies you print .
Since every one who would ever read this would know how full of shit you are, except crazy religious kooks, you have to wonder where this wild imagination comes from. Perhaps your own head. Maybe all this fiction you wright is concocted from deep inside the closet of your sinful erotic child molester mind. Maybe when you see a porter john you imagine that there is an adolescent boy in there masturbating, on drugs, and in your fantasy he lets you in to finish him off. with your self hating gay mouth which spews A brand of Phantasy that only a true religious nut job phanatic can. Check your facts before you print slander you racist closed minded bigot.
I think you and I Both know How wild and crazy your bull shit little article is, and if you were at all an intelligent person, you would apologize to your readers for lying to them so blatantly.
But wait every thing you believe in is a lie, imposed to evoke fear. so i guess you wouldn’t understand.
You are a used douche bag covered in the virgin mary’s period juice. You shouldn’t be offended by this, it is what it is. No go molest some alter boys like we all know you are going to do.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
4:11 pm
In this guys Defense, who hasn’t Tossed off in a porter John before. I mean come on. I mean, they all have purell now-a-days anyway. Pump out the spunk with the shit, i always say.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
4:12 pm
To Stephenson Billings:
You sir, are a fucking idiot.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
1
4:12 pm
The band has no control over the well known Philidelphia n02 (nitrous oxide) mob. They sell gas intended for use with automobiles, and it’s a shame that while they aren’t guilty of any pro-drug propaganda–Phish has spent a fortune trying to control the vending and parking lot atmosphere and culture from becoming what it has. They–and other, completely different bands (such as Widespread Panic)– inherited the following from the Grateful Dead.
On the contrary, the article IS guilty of propaganda. Written by a clueless author, it fails in every way. From the regular readers of this site to those passing by to witness its sheer absurdity, everyone is laughing here!
Here’s a tip to the neophyte– if you want to persuade people, stick to your opinion, and for Christ’s sake (no pun intended), please think before adding links to sourced material. I for one would love to see a single shred of evidence of the band ‘paying for tanks’ of nitrous oxide to be ‘wheeled out’.
No, clueless author, *the fact* is that you are simply lying. You are *in fact* guilty of propaganda. You are *in fact* judging the band by the actions of its followers. Notice that no links are necessary for these facts, just read the idiot’s article, above.
The idea that the band’s massive operation is managed by executive management is obvious to anyone. With that, imagine the insurance policies necessary for such large tours. Who would risk multi-million dollar sums on such a band? What company?
Downright lying simply makes your readers wonder: what don’t you want them to see?
I for one wonder if it’s jealousy–your lying, sinful ways can’t convert a single person to Christianity, so you’ve resorted to coveting the band’s following. Try the truth sometime, Jesus might appreciate it.
If you really want to judge music by the character of the artists and the actions of its listeners, I suggest you never listen to classical music again without doing your research.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
7:12 pm
Thank you for your support but as a certified investigative journalist with a sense of morality and ethics, I can’t in good confidence reveal my confidential sources for the nitrous information. I have complete faith in my work. God bless little lady!
Stephenson Billings
Investigative Journalist
Praise or Condemn:
0 
2
7:40 pm
//Thank you for your support but as a total hack-job with a disregard of humanity and ethics, I can’t reveal that I completely made this libel up. I hate anyone who’s right. God bless little lady!
Stephenson “I’m fucking crazy” Billings
Grand Wizard of the KKK//
Fixed.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
5:11 am
You don’;t have the ethics to be included in the KKK you jerk.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
2
2:41 pm
easy now fuzzy little Man-Peach billings
Praise or Condemn:
5 
0
12:34 am
So you know how the KKK works? Well, who’da thunk that a racist old white man would be in the KKK?
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
4:13 pm
The band has no control over the well known Philadelphia n02 (nitrous oxide) mob. They sell gas intended for use with automobiles, and it’s a shame that while they aren’t guilty of any pro-drug propaganda–Phish has spent a fortune trying to control the vending and parking lot atmosphere and culture from becoming what it has. They–and other, completely different bands (such as Widespread Panic)– inherited the following from the Grateful Dead.
On the contrary, the article IS guilty of propaganda. Written by a clueless author, it fails in every way. From the regular readers of this site to those passing by to witness its sheer absurdity, everyone is laughing here!
Here’s a tip to the neophyte– if you want to persuade people, stick to your opinion, and for Christ’s sake (no pun intended), please think before adding links to sourced material. I for one would love to see a single shred of evidence of the band ‘paying for tanks’ of nitrous oxide to be ‘wheeled out’.
No, clueless author, *the fact* is that you are simply lying. You are *in fact* guilty of propaganda. You are *in fact* judging the band by the actions of its followers. Notice that no links are necessary for these facts, just read the idiot’s article, above.
The idea that the band’s massive operation is managed by executive management is obvious to anyone. With that, imagine the insurance policies necessary for such large tours. Who would risk multi-million dollar sums on such a band? What company?
Downright lying simply makes your readers wonder: what don’t you want them to see?
I for one wonder if it’s jealousy–your lying, sinful ways can’t convert a single person to Christianity, so you’ve resorted to coveting the band’s following. Try the truth sometime, Jesus might appreciate it.
If you really want to judge music by the character of the artists and the actions of its listeners, I suggest you never listen to classical music again without doing your research.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
4:14 pm
This article made me think long and hard.
Now I am thinking about the previous sentence in this comment, and how pervertedly awesome the author’s interpretation of it will be.
Thanks, Mr. Author, for inducing a healthy dose of moral paranoia on our youth.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
4:14 pm
Phish is the devil!!!!!!! NOT
Praise or Condemn:
9 
0
4:27 pm
why does your website advertise the biggest drug festival in the south? ultra-fest? come on Steve who are u kidding…?
by your logic hippies don’t own computers tho.. right Steve?
you hate the phish scene yet your advertising to young adults who may be interested in Christianity about ultra-fest? seems like your only in if for the money pal… any everyone can see that here.
stilllll waitttting….
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
7:14 pm
That’s a very serious accusation. I don’t profit from this website financially, only in my soul. As for the ads, it is my understanding the Google ad service works on your website history and other places you surf to, so if drug sites are showing up that might mean you’ve been to some illicit websites? Not sure, check with your internet provider. I get ads for Gold Sales and Groupons mostly.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
2
7:49 pm
//That’s a very serious accusation. I don’t profit from this website financially, only in my soul.//
Proof that you’re not a journalist. An actual journalist would be getting a paycheck and some form of profit.
//As for the ads, it is my understanding the Google ad service works on your website history and other places you surf to, so if drug sites are showing up that might mean you’ve been to some illicit websites? Not sure, check with your internet provider. I get ads for Gold Sales and Groupons mostly.//
Once again you demonstrate that you don’t know how the internet works. Here’s a list of tips Stevie:
1. Just because you type in some search terms, does not mean that every single result that pops up is exactly what you’re looking for. You need to look no further than your “rabbit raping cat” blog to realize that; you may get over a hundred results, but there may very well be only one result that matches what you want.
2. Google Ads works based on keywords that the site you’re on has. If you put in a bunch of anti-Twilight/Jonas Brothers/gay/drug/whatever posts and whatnot, then the ads will see those words and link you to sites that share those keywords, more often than not, being more positive.
3. The internet is EVERYWHERE in the world, so do keep in mind that if you start saying that “America is totally better than every other country”, you’re doing nothing but making Americans look terrible in the eyes of everyone else who comes across this nonsense.
4. People on the internet have just as much of a right as you do to say things, and that includes telling you to piss off whenever you make a racist, homophobic, xenophobic, or sexist blog post. Also, just because you’re on the internet doesn’t mean you’re not liable for your own words; you could very well be sued by half a dozen artists and celebrities based on the libel that you’ve committed; there is a fine line between speech and hate, and you constantly cross over to hate.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
5:13 am
You are not a man. You are pathetic. Why are you so full of hate? I pray some day I can hold you in my bosom and make you confess your sin. Why don’t you email me and tell me about your life? Secrets are so sinful.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
3
10:24 am
“I pray some day I can hold you in my bosom and make you confess your sin. Why don’t you email me and tell me about your life? Secrets are so sinful.”
You are so fucking creepy.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
1