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Just Say No to The Phish!
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Crisscrossing the country to promote a dangerous mix of communism, cybercrime and drug culture, notorious rock band “The Phish” is pushing American communities to the breaking point. This sad fact can be seen in the headlines so commonplace they no longer shock us: “Phish Fest Nets $81,000 in Drugs; 1,200 Arrests” or “Police Seize $1.2 Million Worth of Drugs From Phish Fans” or “Phish, Drugs and Rock ‘n’ Roll.” As towns and cities across this nation continue to be torn apart by this havoc, it’s high time we get educated about the undeniable threat our children are now facing.
Many successful musical acts like Britney Spears, Gwen Stefani and Josh Groban profit handsomely from studio albums and videos played on cable television stations. What The Phish does is far worse. More than any other band out there today, they have devoted countless hours and incredible financial resources to crossing the country in search of new converts. They are continuously “on tour” performing at venues large and small, prowling for intimate personal contact with the youth of America. Any group of people that makes such a calculated effort to insert itself into the lives of the innocent should surely raise the eyebrows of concerned parents. For The Phish, their modus operandi is to induce the naïve with promises of sexual pleasure and peer acceptance. Like serial killer Charles Manson, they lower inhibitions through hardcore drug use. As with false prophet Jim Jones, the price for such kicks is a complete dedication to their larger agenda.
One concerned mother recently wrote to Oprah Winfrey:
So I think my son is hooked on drugs. He just turned 18 and says I can’t control him anymore. His favorite band is Phish and I’ve seen some of the movie’s he has of this band and they look like a drug band.
He says he’s been waiting his whole life for this moment since I guess they recently reuinited (after the singer was caught with heroin!)
He says he’s sick of being a noob (whatever that means) and he needs to see his first Phish concert this summer or he never wants to speak to me again.
It’s so heartbreaking, he’s at the age where he will do whatever he wants to do since he doesn’t have to ask my permission. He doesn’t look healthy and I don’t want him going to this concert. I did some research on the band and they sound like bad news.
I’m about ready to slash his tires on his cars its making me that upset.
A terrifying story indeed!
A closer look at this group’s music proves the implicit endorsement of drug culture that The Phish engages in. There are ballads with titles that celebrate narcotic experimentation such as, “Marijuana” and “Christmas Without Weed.” And then there are those who have secret messages difficult to decipher at first glance. One of their most famous works, “Prince Caspian” is centered on cocaine use and even opens with the noise of a bubbling crack pipe. The lyric, “the children in the fields all sowing seed and chaffing” is a clear reference to the cocoa growers of Columbia. “Bouncing Round The Room” tells the horrendous story of a man who brutally beats his girlfriend around his apartment while on a drug binge. “The Mango Song” talks about running out of marijuana supplies, while “Twist” celebrates a hardcore LSD trip. And the list goes on and on.
The concerts themselves are the foulest orgies of self-indulgent self-satisfaction seen since the tumultuous sixties. When first ushered to their assigned locations in the arena, these “Phishheads” will immediately scope out the area for the most pliable drug abusers within range of their tapping fingers and “Hey dude” calls so that they may score communal soft drinks and “drags” from poorly-rolled blunts. As the evening grows later, they will abandon any sense of camaraderie to lifelong friends in order to scheme closer seats and vivacious women. Eventually the night reaches a fever pitch of exposed breasts and mushroom peaks and the terrifying hippie dancing will begin. Naked, they writhe and commingle with erotic intensity as guitarist Trey Anastasio descends into confusing jam sessions. Children of all ages will tear off their clothes and jump in muddy mosh pits, kicking and penetrating each other with little compunction for common sense. Young girls have their precious bodies traded among eager, breaded elders and teen boys are forced into nightmares of sexual congress. Even regular Phishheads will admit that masturbation is shockingly common in their “scene.”
The music itself is demeaning at best and criminally violent at worst. For mature listeners, it will make no sense. There is an incomprehensible absurdity to their lyrics, like the loudest ramblings of a derelict beaten down by years of alcoholism and homelessness. The instrumental sounds they produce violate all the requirements of high art. There is no rhyme, no reason. Meter, particularly in the hands of keyboardist Page McConnell, does not exist on their stage. Quite simply, band members mash up violent drumming with amateur guitar screeches at such high speeds there is no doubt that heroin is doing a guest performance with the group. (Transvestite drummer Jon Fishman and shifty-eyed bassist Mike Gordon are clearly the most guilty of these auditory abuses.) Their noise seems intentionally calibrated to overload the central nervous system with false messages of terror and orgasm. If there ever were a soundtrack to schizophrenia, this would surely be it. No wonder there is a direct link between psychosis and fans of The Phish.
Of course, drugs are irrevocably connected to this world. How else could one find meaning or even rhythm in their perverse sounds? Recently, authorities made a cursory sweep through a concert and seized:
“70 tanks of nitrous oxide, over 550 grams of marijuana, about 135 grams of mushrooms and more than 100 pills of various prescription narcotics, along with brownies, cookies and Rice Krispies treats laced with marijuana. Police also confiscated 21 cookies containing LSD.”
Other narcotics common in this crowd include: ecstasy, methamphetamine, cocaine, psylocibin, MDMA, hashish, heroin, Adderall and Klonazapin. Mix them all together and drip them into the bloodstream continuously for five years and that’s the mental state of your average fan.
Hedonism continues unabated in the parking lots after these shows. The band pays for tanks of hospital nitrous oxide to be wheeled out so that the hordes of regulars struggling with their symptoms of withdrawal can be managed. As people chug this controlled medical substance, their bodies are subdued with painful cardiac fits. These masochists seem to enjoy it, however, and their friends will find obscene entertainment in watching a comrade flopping helplessly in the dirt. Those too high to return to their parent’s homes will go anywhere nearby to sleep. In dirty motel rooms and even in the backs of old schoolbuses, these people will give their bodies over to painful patchouli sex parties in exchange for a wet pillow on which to rest their heads. (Rumors that roadies and band members regulary crash these events to demand gratification have garnered the attention of police detectives.) In other parking lot vehicles, puffs on pot pipes are bartered for hasty fondlings. Grungy tapestries may hide the worst of these acts from passing eyes, but the cries and splattered fluids on windows are enough to tell the horrific story. For the frustrated, reckless masturbation in Port-O-Johns is the highlight of their evenings. It gives them a small sense of control to harass their aching phalluses to the beat of drummer Fishman’s incoherent thrashings.
This after concert scene is an ideal hunting ground for pimps, ex-cons and manipulators. For the young, so eager to impress and be part of the “in” crowd, it is a terrifying conundrum. They undergo incredible pressures to extend the hippie party beyond a single night at the concert. Tie-dye shirts and cheap trinkets are sold on every corner. Little gas burners of organic foods light up. Marijuana clouds pass overhead. Crude shrines to lead singer Trey are constructed out of falafel wrappers and whippet canisters. And these weak young men and women are encouraged to take the leap into a full “on tour” lifestyle, abandoning family and faith as they pursue never-ending psychedelic trips and dreadlocked sex games in the nearby public parks.
One area of this culture that demands closer inspection is The Phish’s involvement in cybercrime. It may explain the tremendous growth of their empire and how these endless tours are financed. A few years back, investigators noticed a new type of theft across the internet. In a secret nod to this rock band, it was named “Phishing” and involved high tech identity fraud. The people behind it often dig through household garbage, looking for any documents that contain personal information like social security numbers and bank codes. These are then used to create fake drivers’ licenses or credit cards. Clearly, the gypsy-like lifestyle of Phishheads, moving from town to town, digging through other people’s garbage and making easy friends, assures that this a natural outlet for those who seek money outside of gainful employment.
As we take a broad look at this culture spreading to our communities, the question must be asked: What is the ultimate goal of The Phish? Clearly, there is a strong current of communist sympathies in this crowd. These people delight in shared seating and organic products. They demand that their members participate in a “green” lifestyle, despite the fact that it undermines American industries and flies in the face of traditional consumerism. They oppose wars and hard work, instead preferring drum circles and perpetual protest. They even aim to include fringe Christian groups, falsely claiming that the hippie lifestyle conforms to Biblical teaching. A closer look reveals a hidden hierarchy among these people. Older “trust fund hippies” occupy the power elite, using tactics not unlike those employed by the Politburo in the Soviet Union to monitor and control the unruly masses of newbies and the chronically overdosed. With relentless psychological warfare, these elders demand sacrifices to the cause, while at the same time secretly indulging in the plentiful supply of supple young women and fresh drugs that their status affords them. Rarely do they ever open up their discarded front row seats, hotel room suites and air conditioned luxury cars to the common man.
As for the band itself, one can only hypothesize where their broader agenda is leading. It goes without saying that they employ the very same tactics common among drug gangs, pedophiles and cult leaders to spread their dangerous message. If their activities are leading to gun violence, child rape or mass suicide, should we not do everything in our power to stop it?
http://www.dailypress.com/news/dp-local_phisharrests_0309mar10,0,1347704.story
9:06 am
Everything about these erotic pics make me so hawnee! I took a fish out of the fish tank and put it up my poopie hole. While it was shit writhing around in my poopie hole I had several turdgasms! MMMMmmm…
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
246 
19
5:15 pm
I hate too ruin it for everyone, But look at the rest of the site before you get too upset. You will be pleasantly relieved. Just as I was in the Porta-Potty in the lot at the “The Phish” show.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
38 
10
6:45 pm
I find it interesting that you people continue this childish, absurd campaign to discredit me. It’s painfully clear I have hit a nerve with this article and I can only hope that your parents and the authority figures in your lives take notice. Can you honestly tell me that something good comes out of this depraved and indecent lifestyle? Do you know how many children run away from good Christian families each year to follow The Phish? It’s rather sad and epidemic and I don’t take your silly internet threats too kindly. Please save the immature jokes for your next parking lot liaison.
Hot debate. What do you think?
23 
238
6:57 pm
“The lyric, “the children in the fields all sowing seed and chaffing” is a clear reference to the cocoa growers of Columbia.”
Dear Bill,
I am not familiar with the cocoa growers of “Columbia”. Could you please inform me further?
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46 
1
7:42 pm
Stephenson,
You’re a fucking ignorant hick that rapes little children.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
130 
8
4:22 am
I am not a pedophile and I find your comment insulting. Any accusations against me were due to a misunderstanding and I was ultimately vindicated in that matter. In fact, I continue to be a Christian Investigative Journalist and a former high school football athlete who is widely respected in my field(s). My record is certainly unimpeachable.
I realize that you people are all very young and prone to lashing out when the mature around you try to lend you some advice, but this nonsense is out of control. Why don’t you take a breath and try to understand what I’m trying to say? Why won’t you open your hearts and let me love you?
Hot debate. What do you think?
8 
67
6:17 pm
//I am not a pedophile and I find your comment insulting. Any accusations against me were due to a misunderstanding and I was ultimately vindicated in
that matter.//
“I don’t touch little children, I just make them suck on my cock and tell them it’s Jesus’ love that’s going down their throats.”
//In fact, I continue to be a Christian Investigative Journalist and a former high school football athlete who is widely respected in my field(s). My record is certainly unimpeachable.//
Seriously, is the only thing in your life that you have as a mental trophy the fact that you were a football player in high school? You’re not an investigative journalist, you certainly aren’t Christian, and you bring up your football history so much, that there’s nothing else for you to hold highly. You talk about other people wasting their lives, but at least they aren’t 53 year old virgins who never had a girlfriend and who’s only accomplishment in life was throwing around dead pig skin (which, ya know, is considered a sin according to Leviticus), and who are stuck at home underneath the roof of their mother’s house, wasting time by bitching about things they don’t like.
//I realize that you people are all very young and prone to lashing out when the mature around you try to lend you some advice, but this nonsense is out of control.//
You don’t give advice, you tell people that they’re worthless and challenge their opinions. You tell them that they’re wrong without saying why you’re right, you assume you just are. I’ve seen children put up better arguments for shit compared to you, and I mean elementary school aged children. You’re like a baby who does nothing but whine and whine until someone changes your shit-ridden diaper.
//Why don’t you take a breath and try to understand what I’m trying to say? Why won’t you open your hearts and let me love you?//
You don’t know what love is, you can’t understand love, and you hate the idea of people loving one another. Stop lying to yourself and admit you’re gay and admit that you’re nothing but a hypocrite. Once you do that, then maybe you’ll get some common sense.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
61 
3
7:07 pm
“And it came to pass in the fourth year of Jehoiakim the son of Josiah king of Judah, that this word came unto Jeremiah from the Lord, saying, Take thee a roll of a book, and write therein all the words that I have spoken unto thee against Israel, and against Judah, and AGAINST ALL THE NATIONS, from the day I spake unto thee, from the days of Josiah, even unto this day. It may bet hat the house of Judah will hear all the evil which I purpose to do unto them; that they may return every man from his evil way; thatImayforgivetheiriniquityandtheirsin. THEN JEREMIAH CALLED BARUCH the son of Neriah; and BARUCH WROTE FROM THE MOUTH OF JEREMIAH ALL THE WORDS OF THE LORD, WHICH HE HAD SPOKEN UNTO HIM, UPON A ROLL OF A BOOK. And Jeremiah commanded Baruch, saying, IAM SHUT UP; I CANNOT GO INTO THE HOUSE OF THE LORD.” –Jeremiah 36:1-5.
Hot debate. What do you think?
3 
37
12:53 pm
So, the reference to “all the children in field sowing seed and chaffing WHEAT”…in fact the whole song…is a reference to Prince Caspian, Return to Narnia, a novel by C.S. Lewis, and a movie to which many parents here have probably taken their children. see here (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prince_Caspian). The bubbling in the beginning is far from a “crack pipe”…maybe the writer should actually read the book.
Yes, Phish is unfortunately associated with drugs and drug use. But you should also know that there are the same dope smokers at Jimmy Buffet, Neil Diamond and Rolling Stones concerts. The fact is many artists have used drugs…Billy Armstrong used heroin very often, even during performances (in fact, during one performance falling off stage because she was so stoned). But that doesn’t mean that all their fans are users. In fact, there is an organization of Phish fans who have pledged NOT TO USE DRUGS OR ALCOHOL, called the Phellowship (http://phish.net/faq/fan-organizations).
I am an executive at a national professional services firm, and I am a Phish fan and have been to several concerts. While it is a rock ´n roll band with some debaucherous activities, it is far from a cult or communism-spreading band. This post is so ridiculous, I´m surprised I´m actually responding to it. If you are a good parent, then you won´t have to worry about your kids going to a Phish show and getting blitzed. My dad can say that…he was a good father.
I know almost all readers here are overly christian (like allah-allah-fly-a-plane-into-the-world -trade-center muslims, you guys are far from ¨normal¨ here, and are actually scarier than the former). I am sorry for your loss of life, for God hears nothing that you say. Even if he did exists, which–I won´t get into it–he surely would spite the writers here.
And lastly, here are a few Phish phans…maybe they are the devil too!
Tom Hanks (actor)
Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Tommy from “Third Rock From The Sun”)
Matt Morris (major league pitcher)
Steven Wright (comedian)
Fran Drescher (“The Nanny”)
Phil Jackson (NBA coach)
Stephen King (author)
Matt Groening (“Simpsons” creator)
Kevin McClinchy (major league pitcher)
Ivanka Trump (model, rich kid)
John LeClair (NHL hockey player)
Bill Walton (NBA legend)
Jeremy Shockey (NFL player)
Eddie Kaye Thomas (actor)
Jason Biggs (actor)
Corin Nemec (actor)
Jim Carrey (actor)
Keri Russell (actress)
Danny Tamberelli (actor, “Little Pete”)
Ben & Jerry (of Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream)
Jerry Seinfeld (comedian)
Mayim Bialik (actress)
Mike Judge (Beavis And Butthead/King Of The Hill)
Pat O’Brien (the sports announcer)
Chelsea Clinton
David Letterman
Alyssa Milano (actress)
David Faustino (“Bud Bundy”)
Tiger Woods (golf)
Jennifer Love Hewitt (actress)
Chris Hardwick (tv host)
sources:
Newsgroup thread: PHAMOUS HEADS? January 2003
http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&threadm=b0aa0df1.0301031516.7e6c5837%40posting.google.com&rnum=1&prev=/groups%3Fhl%3Den%26lr%3D%26ie%3DUTF-8%26selm%3Db0aa0df1.0301031516.7e6c5837%2540posting.google.com
Newsgroup message: “NY Times Article and Tom Hanks” January 2003
http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&selm=auvr03%245dh%241%40bob.news.rcn.net
Newsgroup thread: Celebrity Heads… May 2002
http://groups.google.com/groups?dq=&hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&threadm=20020507144501.00812.00008319%40mb-bg.aol.com&rnum=1&prev=/groups%3Fq%3Dg:thl898412664d%26dq%3D%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26ie%3DUTF-8%26selm%3D20020507144501.00812.00008319%2540mb-bg.aol.com
Newsgroup thread: Celebrity Phish Fans (?) April 2000
http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&threadm=38EA7A4C.3027%40erols.com&rnum=1&prev=/groups%3Fhl%3Den%26lr%3D%26ie%3DUTF-8%26selm%3D38EA7A4C.3027%2540erols.com
Newsgroup thread: “Anybody see any celebrities at Big Cypress?”. January 2000
http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&threadm=20000103165425.12446.00000110%40ng-co1.aol.com&rnum=1&prev=/groups%3Fhl%3Den%26lr%3D%26ie%3DUTF-8%26selm%3D20000103165425.12446.00000110%2540ng-co1.aol.com
Newsgroup thread: Celebrity Phish Phans, April 1997
http://groups.google.com/groups?dq=&hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&threadm=19970408172801.NAA21224%40ladder01.news.aol.com&rnum=1&prev=/groups%3Fdq%3D%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26ie%3DUTF-8%26selm%3D19970408172801.NAA21224%2540ladder01.news.aol.com%26prev%3D/groups%253Fq%253Dg:thl26392921d%2526dq%253D%2526hl%253Den%2526lr%253D%2526ie%253DUTF-8%2526selm%253D19970408172801.NAA21224%252540ladder01.news.aol.com
Newsgroup thread: PHISH Sighting!!! July 2002
http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&selm=20020726141623.09115.00000949%40mb-ch.aol.com
Newsgroup thread: Celebrities who like Phish? June 1998
http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&threadm=1998060503400300.XAA28739%40ladder03.news.aol.com&rnum=1&prev=/groups%3Fhl%3Den%26lr%3D%26ie%3DUTF-8%26selm%3D1998060503400300.XAA28739%2540ladder03.news.aol.com
Newsgroup thread: Who are famous Phish fans? August 1997
http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&threadm=19970814012600.VAA06815%40ladder01.news.aol.com&rnum=1&prev=/groups%3Fhl%3Den%26lr%3D%26ie%3DUTF-8%26selm%3D19970814012600.VAA06815%2540ladder01.news.aol.com
Newsgroup thread: Celebrity Fans at Deer Creek, July 2000
http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&threadm=01cf81cc.3004ae54%40usw-ex0102-014.remarq.com&rnum=1&prev=/groups%3Fhl%3Den%26lr%3D%26ie%3DUTF-8%26selm%3D01cf81cc.3004ae54%2540usw-ex0102-014.remarq.com
———
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
39 
1
8:05 pm
first and foremost, i do not like most of phish’s music. that being said, you have to be out of your christ addled mind to think that these are amateur musicians as referenced in the article. i could go on and on about the formal music education that the men in this band possess but i’ll leave their success to settle that argument.
you make it seem like phish invented drug use but drugs and music (and sex for that matter) have been inextricably tied to mainstream music for the last 60 years, actually quite a bit longer but that number will do for the purpose of this argument.
to read your article and realize that there exists a cohort so misguided but so willing to preach to others is alarming. internet scams, communism and anti-american conspiracies? it’s hard to believe any rational adult in the world could even stomach this inane banter but alas here we are. if you really think hippies are evil what about he lies, violence and sex crimes perpetrated by the church. there are monsters among us everywhere, you should do your best to avoid them, no join the as you have here in this ‘article’. i can write down a bunch of random, though completely hilarious, crap and call it a story about THE phish too.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
139 
5
11:29 pm
It would be funny if these psuedo-christians were not so stupid and to completely lack any sense of humor.
May they all be touched with the noodley appendage! FSM save us!
Praise or Condemn:
11 
3
7:55 am
As I stated in this article, I believe the ingestion of massive amounts of drugs is the only realistic explanation as to why audiences tolerate this music. It’s rather sickening if you listen to it sober and at home on a Saturday afternoon as I have tried to.
Hot debate. What do you think?
6 
86
9:15 pm
Religious views/faith r every1′s private business…4 u to write such an ignorant article judging something uve never experienced. & I don’t think Jesus would approve of your negative attitude, or the fact that u have major issues with being an attention needer. There is help for that, a therapist would benefit u greatly. I really hope u get the help u need from a psychiatrist real soon & stop letting jesus down by being dishonest & judgemental u whacked out cult leader
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
2:31 am
Comedy gold! thanks for the laughs.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
117 
1
10:58 am
Only a fan would refer to them as “the Phish”
great troll though. Probably one of the best out there.
Praise or Condemn:
20 
3
11:28 am
WHO EVER WROTE THIS IS THE BIGGEST MORON IN THE WORLD. FUCK YOU, YOU CHRISTIAN FUCK! PEACE LOVE HAPPINESS AND PHISH!!!
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
47 
7
4:16 am
Please don’t type in all capitals. It’s a real turn off.
Hot debate. What do you think?
12 
23
12:52 am
No one was trying to turn you on, Stevie. No one would even WANT to turn you on
Praise or Condemn:
5 
1
1:07 pm
anybody want to set an over/under for the number of blowjobs bill has given for ‘pipe hits’ at phish shows? nobody tell the poor bastard that we share that shit for free!
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
39 
5
6:35 pm
Stephenson,
Ya, that weekend i came down from heaven and took you to the The Phish show was supposed to be a secret. I thought i told you to keep the part about “Any group of people that makes such a calculated effort to insert itself into the lives of the innocent should surely raise the eyebrows of concerned parents.” because it kinda incriminates us too. But otherwise excellent work, you are my star pupil. Soon we will meet again, possibly in the Port-O-John next time you masturbate.
Peace,
J.C.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
51 
4
7:59 am
Why blaspheme?
Praise or Condemn:
4 
11
1:02 am
Going a little far, there. Funny, but still. A little too far.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
2
8:35 am
shame on you sir!
you have no clue what you are even talking about.
first off its phish… not “the phish” your making me crazy with that so if non elce i hope you get the name
right now.
you packed this one full of lies. i dont even know how you came up with some of the nasty ideas you put out at truth.
i have been a phish head for over 15 years and have only seen a small bit of the monsters on the lot you clame run all of it.
i must ask? how many phish shows have you been 2? my guess is non.
it is people like YOU that drive kids out to do drugs and have sex. not phish. i know cuz i felt like my mom was the one typing your lies.
lucky for me i got as far from”christans” like you that i could. so i am back on track.
i was able to feel your hate as i read. thats not christ like at all. i am a phish head and i got love for you and feel sad for ya. i dont hate
you as you do us. sorry if we like organic food and dread our hair. i was under the idea this was the land of the free.
i ask that you keep your smut to yourself to try and save yourself from being the butt of what is a huge joke now.
have a good day and keep your medeoker propaganda to yourself.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
36 
5
1:53 am
Ok I will say this.. it was the most hilarious article I have ever read in my life. I have never laughed so hard EVER, you are clearly one of the biggest idiots to walk the face of the planet. First of all its Phish, not “the Phish” you make it sound like a disease. Nitrous is not funded by Phish its the nitrous mafia who do it and there at more shows OTHER THAN PHISH in the lots. Quite frankly any concert you go to there ARE going to be drugs, weed, naked people, and degenerates. Thats just life. I have never hear of most of the bull shit happening at a Phish show that you put in your article, and if you dont like Phish clearly you have no taste in music. They have been around for DECADES so they cant suck that bad. Why dont you try to experience life and go to a phish show THEN rewrite this article. “This after concert scene is an ideal hunting ground for pimps, ex-cons and manipulators” – words of wisdom from you.. true fact YOU PASS THOSE PEOPLE ON THE STREETS EVERYDAY and if your so christian I hope this makes you think.. what do you think those people do when they get out of jail? They start going to church because “they found god” so I hope you think of that Sunday morning!!
Praise or Condemn:
9 
3
12:14 am
Mr. Billings,
I bet that 99% of what goes on at a phish concert is not half as depraved as you do behind closed doors. Who out there wants to vote: Are ther more Rapists and child molesters in the Church or at a phish show? I never seen a phish fan on tv b/c of child molestation. Just bout weekly for the church. Enjoy your Child Porn Billings……..
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
31 
3
12:39 pm
Billings, you are a shmuck who’s discredited himself. Your ignorance, your xenophobia, your complete and utter lack of grace, compassion, or reason are out of line with your supposed bullcrap morals. I wouldn’t be remotely surprised if you kept a treasure trove of child porn and fantasized about sucking a cock now and then.
You not only need professional help, you need a serious life lesson in reality. But you’ll just continue to live life in only the most narrow frame of reference… scared, clueless, and hopelessly stupid.
Praise or Condemn:
17 
4
3:36 pm
The foundations of a free market society imply that people are free to choose not only how they spend their money but also gives people the freedom to make decisions as
to who they would like to be friends with and how they will spend their time. You are correct that there are communistic tendencies within this group of people as there are
with many others including christians. Your claims as to the style of music are completely your own opinion of which you are entitled to but must require no one to agree with.
As to claims of “The Phish” stealing children from your so called “Good Christian Homes” through use of drugs and sex, your claims are totally biased as you are blind to the
activities of these kids when they are not around you. I will guarantee that these activities are taking place in their parents absence and their actions are more so influenced
by their peers than a band with whom they have most likely never met. Song lyrics are like poetry and your allusions to drugs and what not are simply your opinion, many of
which could be argued from a number of points of view. Just as you have used this cite to bash the lifestyles of others, there are plenty of internet cites used for the bashing
of the christian community. I myself am a Christian and attended a Christian university however I do not choose to force my religion on anyone. I feel as if it is their own
decision to make and respect what they chose for who am I to tell someone else that I know what is best for them. Continue supporting your fellow Christians in life and in
religion and forget about casting your one judgements on others.
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7:26 pm
Do I know how many people leave Christian families to follow Phish?
Actually, I have had my team of scientists calculating this all afternoon.
The answer is 1.2 million TOO FEW.
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12:56 pm
Mr. Jesus Freak,
To begin, you should be aware that you have yet to call this band, Phish, by their proper name….some investigative journalist you are. Next, let me point something out to you: our past three presidents have all admitted to smoking marijuana, and two of them admitted to doing cocaine (especially your beloved George W.). Moreover, if you think Phish is what causes the drug “problem,” this country has, you are as ignorant as you are a fool. Further, it is apparent that you know absolutely nothing about music. Phish is so widely liked and listened to because of the magic they produce on stage. They take songs and improvise the jams to a genre of music that has nothing to do with the songs original form. Most importantly, their ability to listen to eachother and alter their playing is outstanding.
Maybe, instead of raping little boys and praying to your imaginary Jewish “son of God,” you should wake up, join the 21st century, and realize that nobody cares what you have to say. Every comment on this page either belittles you, makes fun of you, proves everything you have to say fallacious and stupid, and that you have no followers. You are not an investigative journalist, you are a jesus freak with an internet connection and a brain the size of a tyrannosaurus rex. I highly look forward to the day Phish’s legal team successfully sues you for your liable and defaming remarks, and I hope that some day you will emerge out of your brainwashed state of mind, and become a productive part of society.
It is people like you that cause this country to be laughed at. You are an ignorant fool.
Have a nice life
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6:50 pm
Wow, the conspiracy theory nutcases have really come out of the woodwork on this one! President Bush never used cocaine. That is the dumbest old lie I heard ten years ago. Why won’t you liberals let it go? Why can’t you move on from President Bush? You hippies are still so obsessed with him! You blame all your life problems on that poor guy. It’s getting embarassing and isn’t it about time you take responsibility for your own selves? Get your life on track, get a job, enroll in addicts anonymous, get out of the house at least!
I am truly astonished who pathetic you people are, and you in particular Bob. Your shrieks of “libel” and “lawsuit” betray a certain lazy, self-serving mentality that got this country in trouble many times over with your trial lawyers and class action lawsuits, pushing medical care costs into the stratosphere. You seem to critically unaware of the US CONSTITUTION! Never heard of the Bill of Rights? Freedom of Speech? The necessity of the Fourth Estate? Are you an imbecile or just a jerk? Scream lawsuit all you want, you sad little man, it only makes me laugh! You are the one who belongs in Jail. (Hint: Sarah Palin 2012!)
Hot debate. What do you think?
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32
2:30 pm
Obviously you have not heard of the movie “W” if you think George Bush never did drugs. I could go on and on about all the crap he did since I’ve researched it, but it would take up too much of my time. If you think the government is actually going to let Palin run for president then maybe you’ve been to a few too many Phish concerts yourself. She thinks we’re friends with North Korea. Even my mentally retarded cousin knows we’re not even going to be related in any way with North Korea.
Then we come to the fact that you look like a crazy Christian extremist by throwing silly bible quotes at everyone. Phish did not start the drug craze, and I know at least more than a few Christians who like drugs. If anything, Christians are more like authoritarian socialists than communists themselves. You can’t make people think the way you want them to by posting stupid stories on irrelevant topics. Get a life and do something productive.
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1:33 pm
Beautifully done sir! The article and the comments alike are pure comedy gold!!! It is amazing how hastily people respond and defend themselves into a hole. Once again, comedy gold!
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5:23 pm
Sir, you are a fear-monger who is looking for any excuse to blame adolescent indiscretions on “rock music” rather than realizing that the behavior of children is a result of the parenting style under which they were raised.
Phish, 100%, absolutely, caters to the hippies of my generation. I fail to see what is wrong with that. They don’t go around shoving drugs down the throats of children. These kids already do it. They already want it. They see no other means of satisfaction because their parents SCREWED UP.
According to parents in the 60s, the drug counter-culture that defined that generation would have led to the end of mankind as we know it. Instead, those same teens and young adults who dropped acid and snorted coke and smoked pot in the late 60s and early 70s are responsible, intelligent adults now who look upon their childhood as an amazing time in their lives where they lived their lives and learned from their mistakes.
Sir, I will admit completely that some kids take things too far. Some kids don’t understand the importance of responsible use versus reckless abuse. Some kids will ruin their lives on drugs and alcohol. But, sir, some adults take things too far. Some adults don’t understand the importance of self expression during adolescence. Some adults will ruin their children’s lives by restricting their self discovery with overly harsh rules that will forever rob them of what childhood really has to offer: a free pass to make an insane amount of mistakes that help them learn to deal with life while gently being guided my their parents.
Parents should be tour guides in life. Parents should lead their children through the wilderness of childhood and adolescence, offering key information here and there and making sure no one strays too far off the path, but still allowing them to experience the wild nature that wilderness holds.
Parents should not be prison guards, dictating every second of every day and enforcing their personalities on their children. Parenting like this only causes the children to pine for freedom every day and wait for the first moment to experience life, often having to use rebellious and dangerously extreme antics to feel that freedom.
When you post articles like this, the parents who have these children only exacerbate the issues their kids have by taking your fear-mongering to heart. So in essence, the article you wrote with the intentions of preventing the “evil” from spreading is actually feeding that evil.
If you really care about children and people, which I believe you do, you will educate yourself on the psychology of the human condition. Otherwise you are only doing more harm than good.
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6:54 pm
“Let the women learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.” –I Timothy 2:11-14.
Hot debate. What do you think?
3 
43
6:30 pm
you done goofed
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2
7:21 pm
hahahaaaa! dude did u really expect to put something like this up and get anything positve out of it??? ha thats just retarded. i mean i’m sure its phish tearing apart our nations youth and not a shitty parenting problem or anything…but thanks for the entertainment tho this shit is funny as hell!
ciao!
p.s. don’t all of u guys drive around w little fish symbols on the backs of your cars…? u wouldn’t want the youth to go get all confused about what type of “phish” you’re supporting. just sayin…
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5 
1
7:40 am
Stephenson, you’re a child fucker? Eeeeeew!
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2
7:18 am
my parents sir? im 25 years old, and you dont know anything about the band or what your talking about. you sir are a mindless drone who wants to take what make other people happy away from them. personally i feel sorry for you, because i meet more adults that like phish than “children with parents”, and thats not the only reason that i feel sorry for you.. get over it and go find something else that you can point your finger at.
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7:41 pm
I am a professional who holds a license that states I am competent in my field of work. I have been a phan for years…..
This is the funniest article I have ever read….thanks for the laugh!
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8:05 pm
LMAO…you got me man. hysterical…you are really pissing people off with this..but i guess that was the point.
peace
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1:37 pm
Stephenson, I cannot believe you were a high school football athlete! That’s amazing man! Unfortunately you are an ignorant hick, in fact the most dangerous part of any Phish lot are the crazy christian groups that steal young children and bring them onto their bus and then to their communes. You have no life, and your penis is most likely small. Good luck and stay up kid, you’ll make it through.
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10:54 am
Ok you know this is lies, DO you realy think that the lies you told would go down in some of america’s bigges venues. You are wrong and for this I hope you burn in hell for smearing the names of good people!
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10:15 pm
Stephenson Billings, I usually wouldn’t take any time out of my life to comment on such an article. However, you could be the most ignorant misguided individual I have ever come across in my life. First off, the band is named “Phish”, not “The Phish”. If you had any intellectual capacity you would have realized this before writing your pathetic article. Secondly, we live in a country that is suppose to promote individual freedom. This gives citizens the right to listen to and enjoy any music they damn well please, regardless of the perceived meaning of the lyrics. I also hate to burst your precious little bubble, but if you had ever taken time to educate yourself you would have realized that religion is something of personal choice and belief. There is not one religion our population is bounded by; especially your disgusting take on Christianity. I suggest that next time you write one of these ridiculous articles you think again because you make yourself look like a heathen.
On second thought, maybe you should smoke some weed, relax, listen to some of PHISH’S DAMN GOOD MUSIC, and open your disgustingly perverted mind to the reality of life. Who knows, you may even have a good time for once in your sad life.
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10:13 am
I would first like to point out that the band’s name is “Phish”, not “The Phish”. Secondly I was a troubled youth and went on Phish tour at the age of 17 for 6 months. I found that the society at these concerts were no different than any other gathering of highly concentrated youth in America. While growing up I was heavily involved with my community church. We went on church missions throughout the United States, Mexico, and The Dominican Republic. While attending these “missions” I was witness to the same activities as at a Phish concert. You can not blame the band Phish for the use of drugs, sale of drugs, deaths that happen due to drug use, and you can especially not blame the band for children leaving there Christian families. Phish is one of the most innovative bands musically of our time. Yes there are drugs at Phish concerts, but guess what your neighbors have drugs too. If you really want to gripe about drugs use in America be my guest, but don’t blame it on a band. That is a cheap shot, and a cop-out. Blame the US Government for allowing drugs to continue to seep into our towns and cities. Blame the Columbians and other cocoa dependent countries for flooding our streets with cocaine and crack. Blame the Asians for heroin, and blame yourself for not being a better a parent to your children. This post is obviously a bleak effort to yet blame another source for America’s youth’s problems. Get a clue people, stop taking this ridiculous banter seriously. Bands don’t make people do drugs, drugs make people do drugs. Exploiting a band to make an article for yourself is easy to do. Why do you think there are so many music magazines, and web forums about them. If there was no music the world would be in fact boring. So stop the war on music, and focus on the real problems of the world. LIke war, famine, the black market, and other serious global affairs.
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12:58 am
My daughter lived back east with her mom. At 16 she started going to Phish shows and at 17, her senior year in high school she left home to follow the Phish around. When she was 18 she moved out here to California to live with me, her dad. She went to a community college for a couple years excelling in physics. She then worked her way through UCLA and although it took her much longer than the kids with money she graduated with a BS degree in Computer Science and Engineering. She is a good young lady with some good values.
Her dad, me, is an old hippie and I used to take her to Grateful Dead shows when she was little when she would come out to visit.
There are a lot of good kids at the Phish shows like there were at the Grateful Dead shows. I first saw the Dead in 1966 and have been to lots of concerts until 1993. In all that time I have never seen one fight at a Dead show. They were good loving kids with values our society could now used far more of.
Don’t be too quick to judge.
“Judge not, and you shall not be judged.”
Luke 6:37
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4:47 pm
You are a moron. You didn’t even get the name of the band correct. Maybe you should do some research first.
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1
10:10 pm
In all honesty Mr. Billings, it might do you some good to go see a show. The phish community is a very positive, quiet and docile community. Never have I seen or witnessed a phish phan actually hurt or bother anyone. Everyone is really quiet and they like to dance and smile…what else would anyone want to do?
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2:48 pm
this article is too funny!! i loved reading it while i listen to “the phish” and smoked some weed i rolled up in a piece of the bible and ripped a bong filled with holy water i stole from the church down the street.
p.s. its phish… no article. just like you should have never had an article. if you’re an investigative reporter you clearly forget to investigate because this is soooo far off the truth it might as well be called conservative christian fictitious propaganda. phish isnt the one corrupting the youth- its extremist christian douche bags like you that are corrupting the youth. maybe you should actually go to a phish show sometime… you might be surprised to learn there has been a lot less hate at phish shows then you can find in the pages of your best selling fiction novel called the bible
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3:11 pm
I started my week going to church, then went to work and paid my bills, then went and saw 2 rockin’ Phish shows, and then went back to work again.
How many Phish shows have you attended?
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11:42 am
MRS. Billings, you are clearly a repressed, self loathing, BALD child molester who has nothing better to do but slam something you don’t understand. You are also an extreme right wing Christian which is the same as being a militant Islamic terrorist. You are a tool of the lowest use. Enjoy your large ever expanding collection of hate mail and boy on boy kiddie porn.
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4:47 am
I think what surprises me the most is that when this article says, “Do you know how many children run away from good Christian families each year to follow [sic; The] Phish?” it doesn’t take into account that many of these ‘children’ are young adults over the age of 18 that have lived their entire lives in socially & culturally restricted environments because ‘it’s the Christian way.’ Which means that they’ve been sheltered to extremes that would shock many who grew up in mainstream America, i.e., the U.S. where you read the books you want, listen to the music you want and travel within a few hundred miles of home — unattended by parents or guardians — because you are a trusted individual who has been encouraged to develop their own sense of independence. Teaching your children to develop their own fundamental common sense is a time-honored tradition amongst parents who support education beyond high school and want those same older teens to attend university with an open mind — not one that has been stifled by an entire adolescence bereft of travel, musical & artistic education, responsibility gained through volunteer work & civic duties and a love of literature. I’m a little curious as to what the author would make of my high school summer AP English required reading list: The Book of Genesis from the Old Testament (any version,) Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John, Exodus, Revelation, Job & Psalms of the New Testament, and novels by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Sartre, Dostoevsky as well as Beowulf. And that’s from the mid-’90s…from the time I started attending Phish concerts with my friends. They were so much fun! And that’s not from some “trust fund hippie” school, rather one of the best public schools in the U.S. for the past twenty years according to ‘U.S. News And World Report.’
The author also suggests that the lyrics to ‘Bouncing Around The Room’ describe “the horrendous story of a man who brutally beats his girlfriend around his apartment while on a drug binge.”
Judge for yourself:
“The woman was a dream I had
Though rather hard to keep
For when my eyes were watching hers
They closed
And I was still asleep
For when my hand was holding hers
She whispered words and I awoke
And faintly bouncing around the room
The echo of whomever spoke
And I awoke and faintly bouncing round the room
The echo of whomever spoke
The place I saw was far beneath
The surface of the sea
My sight was poor
But I was sure
The sirens sang their songs for me
They dance above me as I sink
I see them through a crystal haze
And hear their sweet sound bouncing round
The never ending coral maze
The crystal haze
And hear them bouncing round the room
The never ending coral maze
Then before and now once more I’m bouncing round the room
That time and once again I’m bouncing around the room”
A drug binge? How about swimming? I like swimming, but when I open my eyes underwater, it’s not crystal-clear, it’s definitely more like a crystal haze…and I don’t do drugs. To me, a critical interpretation of the lyrics would conclude that the lyricist was writing about a dream he had first of a woman, and then of beautiful mermaids that were talking & singing to him and how beautiful the echoes were as they bounced around the walls above the pool, where he was swimming. I’d like to ask the article’s author if he’s ever been in a public pool and heard how the square walls and ceramic tiles bounce every tiny noise into layers of echoes that surround one’s head every time a breath is taken above water. Pretty neat, eh? But then again, I’m not sure that the author even believes in physics as applied to acoustics — sound is a wave, as is light (most of the time!)
Refuting every seriously odd statement that the author has put forth regarding the band, their lyrics and the habits of their fans would really just be a waste of time. Since it seems that any other comments have been cut off, as if he doesn’t want his views to be questioned, I’ll be surprised if this one makes it out whole. Granted, some of the previous comments are rather childish and don’t get to the heart of the matter; the delusions held by the author about any topic that he just can’t seem to wrap his imagination around because it would clash with his beliefs in Jesus. I suggest that instead of responding with drivel, we as readers just withdraw in pity, leaving him to find another topic to poke with a stick and see who will come to its defense.
Happy Phishing!
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4:14 pm
Phish is not making Christian kids run away from home. It is the family that is making them run away. I think it is irresponsible for any christian family to blame other outside sources for their own kids running out on them.
This is not the first band to make this headway and they are definately not the last. It is insecure people who think that Phish and many more bands to come is as threat on society. Satan only lurks in your own fears. WE must learn to accept what is and not burn someone on the cross because we think God should. Who are we to judge…
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3:36 pm
I do understand some of the concern of parents not wanting their young children to partake in needless drug activity and crazy sex parties. But I believe as a Phish fan and a christian that the points made in the article are false. Children do not run away from christian homes to follow Phish because Phish is recruiting “followers”, I believe they run away due to the oppressive nature of some christian homes, and Phish has a message of inclusion, love, and acceptance of ALL types of people, not just Christians who believe what they believe. It is true that there is drug and alcohol abuse at these shows, but it is also present in a lot of Christian homes also, so people in glass houses should not cast stones. And I beileve statements like this one is exactly what is wrong with society today ” Clearly, there is a strong current of communist sympathies in this crowd. These people delight in shared seating and organic products. They demand that their members participate in a “green” lifestyle, despite the fact that it undermines American industries and flies in the face of traditional consumerism. They oppose wars and hard work, instead preferring drum circles and perpetual protest. They even aim to include fringe Christian groups, falsely claiming that the hippie lifestyle conforms to Biblical teaching” It seems that if you want to live a life with “shared seating” and world without poluted water and air for your children than your Obviously a Communist. And if you want 1% of the Population to have 90% of the wealth in this world and for people to die of starvation while we build 10 million dollar mega churches so God can have somewhere to live than your obviously a christian. I do belive that Jesus came to tear down the confines of the old temples and to remind us that the true temple of God is US. So love eachother, reach your hand out to your brother, not to judge him but to show him the love and compassion that Jesus gave his life to show us.
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10:58 pm
We get upset because you demonize these 4 people that you dont even know based on the activities of their fans. This is the type of yellow journalism that should be censored by the FCC (maybe that was the focal point of another one of your masterpieces) Only half of these pictures are even of the band, and the ones that are shown dont do much to credit your point. Investigative journalist huh? How many shows have you been to champ? Im sure with the booming motivational children s party business now-a-days, its hard to pencil in many shows. It upsets me to know that people will read this and actually believe the nonsense you’ve spewed on the internet. How did you conclude that col. forbins assent is an allusion to the communist manifesto? (safe to say you are not very comfortable discussing gamehendge) “Dont criticize what you cant understand”
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12:58 pm
I wonder HOW many kids lives have been ruined by church? If you mom and Dad make you go to Church what good is being done? Sounds like a control thing to me!!
I know many people who watch music and dont use drugs. Wow! Crazy concept?Are all you Church Goers Stoned on Jesus when you go to a Cristian ROCK Concert? They tell you too put EVERYTHING in the hands of God!!What good will that do if you’re getting Raped at The Phish show? It is called personal Responsibility…You have none and I feel sorry for your family. Being controlled with the fear of Hell is so much better?
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10:08 am
Alright, first off it’s “Phish,”, no “The” required. So right off the bat, you don’t know what you’re talking about. 2nd, I’ve seen Phish 7 times and I have yet to see orgies or public masturbation of any type. Just about any concert you go to where formal wear isn’t required you’ll find drug and alcohol abuse; they go hand-in-hand with live music for most people, and it always has. It’s individuals like you that bash what you can’t, or refuse, to understand that make this music worth checking out. Most of the youth in this country are drawn to things that they’re told to steer clear of, so if any of those young’uns are reading this article, you’re drawing them in direction. Next time you decide to release your mindless dribble to the public, do a little research or maybe go to one or two “The Phish” shows and experience it for yourself before you make any assumptions or write an article spewed from the mouths of concerned parents who, like you, haven’t a clue.
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12:39 am
Hey man, a summer after i went and saw “the phish” which is essentially a few good guys playing the same instrument they have since they learned how and making songs out of this seemingly boring life that we all live in, the reason behind their touring to “convert” people is because they dont make enough money off mtv which should be your real concern, and very rarely make a video, its not a problem that people enjoy live music, back to the story, the summer after i saw them i was babtised then guess what SAW EM AGAIN with the friend that lead me to christ your being a hypocrit and a moron, and i can say this because christians can judge other christians unlike you who is ridiculously accusing so many people and making an art seem like a religion, sure there are crazy people out there and they may be at phish shows, but man ive seen them before and been to their “heart” and you my friend are way off, i was with college graduates and professionals of many things, go ahead and make your life about the discredit of something out of the ordinaries effect on the nation of america, now as far to go ahead and say they are comparable to charles manson is absurd you cant literally think your telling the truth and sound logic is what you know when you make a statement like that, the drugs are everywhere, and have been way before yours and my time, its not like phish throws them off stage. Get A Life
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12:26 pm
Listen, why can’t you be happy for people who are enjoying their lives? If you don’t want to listen to rock and roll and party like a rock star, then don’t do it. But just because you don’t partake or understand, don’t label fun loving bands like Phish evil. Really, if you want to point fingers, just the admit ion that you are a Christian associates you with a religious group guilty of countless murders-i.e. the crusades, ever heard of those, Mr. I need to make a false point to scare parents around the country? I have been to countless shows, have never seen any violence or sexual harassment of any kind. Maybe you should experience a show for yourself before you overwork that crap-box you call a mouth. I promise, even though you are a close-minded, brainwashed pawn, we could have phun together. Shut up and go home or light up but definitely, LEAVE US ALONE! PS: Keep your hands off the young’ins, we all know how you church folk act behind close doors- learn from OJ, even if you get the charges dropped, karma always catches up with you, Ha!
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9:52 pm
whoever wrote this articles a fucking stupid, i’ve been to atleast 40 or 50 jamfests in the last few years. first off, cybercrimes? no, you’re fucking stupid, “phishing” does not mean going through someones trash, it’s a programming trick used to create an illegitimate web-page in order to trick people into forking over personal information, it has nothing to do with the band and most ‘phishheads’ don’t even have computers to commit such crimes much less the knowledge of how to pull of such intricate programming schemes. second….orgies? no child molestation….really? no…. prostitution?….good fucking god your letting your bias get the best of your imagination, drugs are undeniably in these scenes, but no ones encouraged against their will, and most of them are given out for free so that blows a hole in your handijay for a hit theory. oh yeah, and kids betraying life-long friends for a better seat? isn’t that what was said? yeah guess what, phish shows and all other jamfests don’t have seats, or assigned viewing areas in any way shape or form, sooooo……where are you getting your information moron? masterbation? yeah undoubtedly we all masterbate, but show me a culture that doesn’t, (that’s rhetorical sarcasm – everyone masterbates, even you, even though your gonna deny it, you can lie to yourself and you can lie to god but you can’t lie to me.) now, hippie hierarchies? no i don’t know where you get such stupid ideas, most older hippies are as giving as they can be in every experience i’ve ever had. lastly, where is this going? “gun violence, child rape or mass suicide”? really?! phish concerts are peaceful, that means no violence…ever really….child rape?…..fuck this is getting rediculous, look these shows are peaceful gatherings for people who don’t fit into americas fascist social structure, its for people who just wanna be themselves and be loved for it, and thats precisely how it goes down, nothing immoral happens at these shows and festivals short of the subjective and questionable excessive drug use, and occasionally theft. get over your intolerance, you ignorant fascist.
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6:47 pm
ps. The poster you were replying to is obsessed with feces. I hope you realize that. Is that really what you want?
Hot debate. What do you think?
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11:55 pm
I guess those psuedo-christians have never been to a “Christian Concert” where the music is half-assed and the kids are all clueless.
As Jesus is reported to have said, “Just because you call my name doesn’t mean you are one of mine.” Ain’t nothing Christian about that author.
Meatsicks to them all!
Please you conservative Jesusoloters try being like the Man you pretend to follow. Open your Heart.
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5:33 pm
Sadly, Christians as a whole are the least Christ-like people I’ve ever had the displeasure to meet.
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8:23 am
ok, first of all stop with “the” phish…. its just phish… no “the”.
and the fact that you have no idea how to even say the bands name seems to show just as much as you know about the band and phishheads.
your post is about 90% wrong. you sir are the type of person who thinks they are so much better than the rest of us. you are not, God may “punch you in the eye” (phish) for this trash
that i feel works better as a way to keep people from coming to God than helping them. you are a pusher of Propaganda and i have less respect for you than the FEW monsters you try and
act like run the phish lot. its people like you that push your own kids into the drugs and sex that you fear so much. trust me. my mom did it to me… till i grew up.
ANY show has some drug use. talk about U2 or dave matthews band also. i have seen open drug use at those shows.
people like you make me sick with your half truths and hate. you say that christans are full of love…. i call BS. i was able to feel the hate you have for the phishheads as i read
and it made me sad for you. i am a deadhead and a phishhead. i have dont hold near the hate that you do… we got love. (not free love sex) i know thats where your dirty mind went.
but true love for our lot and show friends.
you sir make me sick.
grow up and keep your lies to yourself.
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8:23 am
ok, first of all stop with “the” phish…. its just phish… no “the”.
and the fact that you have no idea how to even say the bands name seems to show just as much as you know about the band and phishheads.
your post is about 90% wrong. you sir are the type of person who thinks they are so much better than the rest of us. you are not, God may “punch you in the eye” (phish) for this trash
that i feel works better as a way to keep people from coming to God than helping them. you are a pusher of Propaganda and i have less respect for you than the FEW monsters you try and
act like run the phish lot. its people like you that push your own kids into the drugs and sex that you fear so much. trust me. my mom did it to me… till i grew up.
ANY show has some drug use. talk about U2 or dave matthews band also. i have seen open drug use at those shows.
people like you make me sick with your half truths and hate. you say that christans are full of love…. i call BS. i was able to feel the hate you have for the phishheads as i read
and it made me sad for you. i am a deadhead and a phishhead. i have dont hold near the hate that you do… we got love. (not free love sex) i know thats where your dirty mind went.
but true love for our lot and show friends.
you sir make me sick. shame on you!
grow up and keep your lies to yourself.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
3
11:45 pm
It’s “The Phish” like “The Grateful Dead” or “The Allan Parsons Project.”
Praise or Condemn:
4 
12
5:55 pm
Wow. That 16 year old girl, Ellie, just schooled you. That MUST be embarrassing. For us sane people, it’s hilarious, but you should just go hang your head in shame. Also, don’t condescend to her because she is 16. She is very well spoken and came across much more Christian, and adult, than you did.
Also, my first Phish show was at 16. I’m now in my 30s. I have seen Phish over 30 times. I have a fantastic job complete with great benefits and a killer 401K. I do not do any drugs. I rarely drink alcohol. I am in a committed relationship. I have never torn my clothes off or had an orgy at a Phish show. The people I go to Phish shows with are in advertising, construction, law, medicine and even law enforcement. I know that there is no “the” in front of Phish in terms of their band name.
I have never judged anyone because of what kind of music they listened to.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
1
12:43 am
to start out with its phish not the phish, second of all where does this guy get off calling himself an investigative journalist im doubting there was any fact checking done for this article the statistics are wrong the song meanings are wrong i mean come on even the bands name is wrong its a sad attempt to get a response so to anyone who read this article and found this authors uneducated opinions offensive refrain from responding its quite obvious this man is getting off on the dissatisfaction.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
1
9:40 am
As the parent of several well adjusted married daughters who all enjoy “Phish” I find your statement that you are an investigative reporter unfounded. Even a tween would at least google the name of a group to ensure they have the correct name prior to turning in an assignment. Your failure to even do a modicum of research would lead a reader to believe you are a conspiracy theorist more than an investigative reporter. Have fun with your antique bottles.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
7:16 pm
First of all I would like to state that this is one of the funniest articles I have read in a very long time, so well done on that. But before writing a paper on PHISH I would be very please if you got your phacts straight, because this is a phalse article.
Dear GOD, I dearly hope that one day you will be able to help your phallowers understand the real PHISH.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
4:01 pm
you dead wrong you Christian know it all.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
9:29 am
You are a dolt. Did you do ANY research for this drivel? Ever been to a Phish show? Ever done drugs? Ever been more than 30 miles from your Mom’s basement? Investigative Journalist my ass. A true investigator would have put on a tie dye, scalped some tickets, and gone on a run, at least 6 or 7 shows in a row. I am a two time college graduate who used to tour with Phish ( it is not “The Phish”, assclown). I worked my ass off for 10 1/2 months a year to save money to buy mail order tickets to every show for each summer tour. Guess what else I did? I paid my rent, my bills, and my TAXES, and I earned the privilege of taking a vacation every Summer. Now I am a Dad and a husband, and I go to shows whenever I can, which is not very often, because I put my responsibilities before my crazed satanic impulses. But why would I expect you to understand, I mean, you are a Motivational Children’s Party Entertainer, and you collect old soda cans! I am SO beneath your league. I mean, I am a Christian, an Eagle Scout, and I have two college degrees with which I earn a living for my very stable nuclear family. You, on the other hand, are a fucking douchebag. BTW, if you are ever in a position where you have to say something to the effect of ” I was cleared of all allegations against me…” when accused of pedophilia, guess what: you are a kid fucker who hot off, oooops, I mean got lucky, probably on some technicality. After reading your entire review of the Phish experience, you probably actually ENCOURAGED more people to check it out! What an obtuse asshole you are. I hope you get eye cancer and fucking die, child fucker.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
9:30 am
phish and WSP rock.
what the hell is wrong with liking 2 bands?!
Praise or Condemn:
7 
4
10:14 am
This must be the most ridiculous synopsis of what Phish is all about. Go back to church and quit commenting on something you obviously know little about
Praise or Condemn:
15 
2
11:06 am
damn.. ya got me… good one.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
12:40 pm
you mr billings need to realize that christianity is not the only religion in the world and not everyone was raised as a christian and people have different views of how to life and and what is right and wrong. i believe religion brainwashes your mind, just like christianity has brainwashed yours into writing this article about how people who partake in this type of behavior are criminals, juveniles and immature. it is just another way of life and it doesnt make it wrong just because christianity says its wrong. dont be so quick to judge another persons decision as wrong or juvenile just because your religion says it is wrong, there are many ways people can choose to live life and that is everybodys natural freedom.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
1
11:23 pm
I think this whole onslaught on the band Phish is to invoke fear in the uber-Christian mind. To think a band is the cause or root of all the evils the youth and/or your children are partaking in is at the very least extremely small and chronically closed-mined. If problems arise in your ‘hard-to-control’ child you might better spend your time examining your parenting styles or the chromosomal abnormalities of your progeny. To blame distance musicians/artists for a child wanting to escape their parental enforced confines beckons the wise-minded to look at themselves and find Occam’s razor solution. If still you find yourself questioning the underlining message of any music, then why don’t you listen for yourself, and decide if it’s appropriate for your offspring. Otherwise, continue to blindly boycott nonsense,…you know what, forget it, you’re all helpless.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
2
9:45 am
great website! I would read again! WSP SUX!
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
45 
16
3:21 pm
PTisgod, the fact that you have to sign off with “WSP SUX” shows what an incredibly large tool you must be. I’m so sick of the Panic/Phish/SCI arguments. Since when are you only allowed to like one band. If you’re a true music fan you appreciate many types of music. And the fact that your name is “PTisgod” validates even more what a major douche you must be. Grow up and broaden you music horizon kid. I guess you don’t like The Beatles, Bob Dylan, Neil Young, Grateful Dead, Sly and the Family Stone, Temptations, or hundreds of other good bands, because you only like Phish and “WSP SUX”. What a tool.
And Bob, the article is a joke moron. If you can’t realize that you are absolutely brain dead!! Oh, and everything I said above relates to you as well since you felt it necessary to sign off with “WSP SUX”.
Praise or Condemn:
9 
8
5:05 pm
I find you message surprisingly insulting. I don’t know the background of your little battle, but what has that to do with insulting me? I am no joke and I believe many CHristian parents have been enlightened by this article. Do you really believe we should be letting our kids run off and join this big drug scene? You people seem to think I’m not telling the truth but the headlines after every concert are clear: “Hundreds upon hundreds arrested…” etc. Shameful.
Hot debate. What do you think?
3 
48
7:04 pm
Ok so first of all the bands name is “phish” not “the phish” and second, this article is full of so much false information that its actually funny to read. The author is a Christian therefore he is uneducated and likes to push his views on everyone else. Reading this article reminds me of a high school news paper in the south, poorly written, and the author is dating his sister. This article made me realize how stupid and ignorant religion can make people. I really don’t care what people worship, but when they are pushing their beliefs on me i start to get pissed. I don’t bitch about noisy church bells, traffic associated with church, and other religious related activities. So why do i do this, because i was taught at an early age to respect peoples beliefs. As a christian reading this article turned me into an atheist.
ps
Have you ever played that game telephone? You know how the final message is much longer and well more completely insane than the original version. Well I present to you christianity.
god does not exist and if he did he would not have would not have let the holocost, crusades, wars, or the Armenian genocide take place under “his” name. I say “his” because a woman would not have created a world filled with such hate, evil, and disease.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
36 
0
7:35 pm
Mr. Billings,
With all due respect, I have tried Jesus and I have tried psychedelics. I recommend you do the same and afterwards we can compare notes. Phish (not The Phish) does have some undesirable elements pertaining to the band’s followers. Likewise, Christianity shares some rather unflattering history (See The Crusades, The Encomienda, persecution of Galileo, etc). Nonetheless, at its core, Phish is about liberating the self from the ego. When this occurs,we as individuals can experience that which is outside ourselves. To do this is to truly be alive.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
59 
1
3:10 pm
First of all. I am in my 30′s and have been to at least 35 Phish shows all over the United States of America. I have never once seen semen on the inside of a porta potty, orgies in in mud pits, young women traded amongst “elders”, and young teenage boys coerced into depraved sexual acts. I however have encountered people who are more times than not are very open minded, accepting of all creeds and colors, conscientious, eco friendly, and generally nice. I have smoked copious amounts of pot, taken mushrooms, acid, and even done a little blow and I am happy to tell you that I am very successful, own a house, and am a productive member of society. Sure, as with anything else in any culture there are bad apples. To write such statements are just completely off base and false. You sir are no investigative journalist, you are a propagator and nothing more. I have seen worse acts of depravity in the “eyes” of the Lord than I have ever experienced at a Phish show. Although, I must admit I posted this article on FB and a lot of my friends have gotten a good belly laugh as a result of it. Thanks for that at least. I honestly feel sorry for you. Your life sucks so bad that you feel the need to write an article of such hate and vitriol. You sir are the kind of person that Jesus hates. You are no worse than the people who hung him on the cross. Ever hear of “thou shall not judge” or “not casting stones”? Practice what you preach. Oh wait, you can’t do that… You’re a modern day Christian who’s whole basis of existence is to belittle everyone and anything that doesn’t think, look, act, or believe like you. Get a life you creep.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
9:52 am
It’s unbelievable how inaccurate this article is, and anyone who reads this and believes what it says proves to me how dumb most of this country is. Touring the country looking for converts, promising sexual pleasure and peer acceptance? How dumb can one author be? Listen to the music. They tour because people love the music and want to see the band live. Britney Spears and the like create computerized crap in the studio. Her and others just like her are writing songs promoting sex and partying, and you praise them? I knew Christian freaks were crazy, but I didn’t know you were all retarded too.
Signed,
WSP Sux.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
150 
9
12:17 pm
exactly,phish likes to play live,just like fans want,they dont spend time on studio recorded sales and just sit around and collect…im not a big phish fan or a christian,but if your a real christian you shouldnt be idolizing any singer or group.regardless if its kenny rogers,britney spears or whoever….right…oh and for the drug issue listed above the amounts listed confiscated is nothing for the amount of people attending events
Praise or Condemn:
15 
4
11:04 pm
Satire this sharp blurs the line of reality for many. It is unsettling because we can imagine an article like this with a sincere arc denouncing Phish. This gripping article had me for the first paragraph or two, I will admit. But unless you guys are playing along as the indignant fan base, I implore you my fellow Phish phans to look at how ludicrous this article is and praise it for the awesome piece of satire it is. It’s funny. And the website is entirely parodic of extremism in conservatism. No need for legal recourse here. That they offended anyone in Phish land speaks to how well in tune the creators are with the band and with the absurdity of certain Christian propaganda. I’m sure they’re getting way more attention than they ever thought they would. Well played C-Wire staff! Furthermore, what should really scare you is anyone who doesn’t see the parodic nature of this material but instead of indignation actually agrees. Look out for them, leave the “author” alone.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
34 
2
12:17 am
I’m not going to lie, this article made me laugh, and then again it made me really hope that the author is not serious.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
27 
0
11:08 pm
Satire this sharp blurs the line of reality for many. It is unsettling because we can imagine an article like this with a sincere arc denouncing Phish. This gripping article had me for the first paragraph or two, I will admit. But unless you guys are playing along as the indignant fan base, I implore you my fellow Phish phans to look at how ludicrous this article is and praise it for the awesome piece of satire it is. It’s funny. And the website is entirely parodic of extremism in conservatism. No need for legal recourse here. That they offended anyone in Phish land speaks to how well in tune the creators are with the band and with the absurdity of certain Christian propaganda. I’m sure they’re getting way more attention than they ever thought they would. Well played C-Wire staff! Furthermore, what should really scare you is anyone who doesn’t see the parodic nature of this material but instead of indignation actually agrees. Look out for them, leave the “author” alone. How could anyone fall for these avatars anyway?
Praise or Condemn:
6 
4
9:56 am
Please help me extract myself from this Phish cult. They make me travel our beautiful country seeing places I’ve never seen. They also make me dance and have fun with people that I don’t know but do seem pleasant to be around. All this fun is hell on me. I know I should be spending my time having much less fun and instead of spending my hard earned money on Phish tickets I should just give it to the church.
Please help me!
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
147 
8
10:03 am
Last month I went to a retreat where I was fed cookies and coffee and spoken to by many other Christians. They told me how I should live my life and now I believe. I believe. What a wonderful thing to be fed and told the way.
These retreats are available all across the country please come have some cookies and coffee and learn the way of the lord. I will be traveling with the other Christian across the country teaching the way and converting wayward youth the way of the lord.
Please join me in the beauty that is our lord. And as always don’t forget it is your obligation to donate 15% of your income to support our efforts to teach the way of the lord to the world populous.
Signed,
Jesus Freak
P.S. – WSPSUX
Hot debate. What do you think?
38 
21
10:36 pm
Panic is throwing down more consistantly than Phish as of late junior.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
10:09 am
“Any group of people that makes such a calculated effort to insert itself into the lives of the innocent should surely raise the eyebrows of concerned parents.”
Oh, the irony!
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
143 
6
10:14 am
wow, Im pretty sure you need to recheck your facts. I am also pretty sure (as a former jesus brainwashed soul, now converted to the cult that is phish), that you are judging phish fans and lumping them into one group. Did Jesus not teach you that only god is to judge? Stop brainwashing and start preaching love and facts. Jesus was about LOVE, not this bullshit.
wspsux!
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
37 
4
10:15 am
Older “trust fund hippies” occupy the power elite, using tactics not unlike those employed by the Politburo in the Soviet Union to monitor and control the unruly masses of newbies and the chronically overdosed. With relentless psychological warfare, these elders demand sacrifices to the cause, while at the same time secretly indulging in the plentiful supply of supple young women and fresh drugs that their status affords them. Rarely do they ever open up their discarded front row seats, hotel room suites and air conditioned luxury cars to the common man.
Incredible
Praise or Condemn:
11 
1
10:17 am
This is a friendly reminder that this is slander and defamation, and should be removed before we file suit. Please if you want to write something so slanderous get some of your facts correct. “Marijuana” and “Christmas Without Weed” are not songs ever performed by the band.
I also may inquire with our fanbase to see if they would like to file a class action suit regarding your absurd description of their activities at shows.
Better start stripping more hard earned funds from the followers of your cult to pay our fans so they can go to more shows.
Again please remove or update with correct information.
Kind Regards,
Phish Legal
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
222 
7
10:44 am
You should be ashamed of yourself making false threats to intimidate my freedom of speech. Your hippies are so willing to embrace the Bill of Rights when it gives you the opportunity to spout off about marijuana and William Randolf Hearst, yet once someone starts reading from the Bible you demand he be silenced. For shame.. You know so little of the greatest traditions that this nation is founded upon.
Hot debate. What do you think?
11 
202
12:56 pm
I am still in the grasps of this evil cult! I can’t break free! I’ve been floating in this blimp aloft as a slave to their traffic light. They even kidnapped my precious Uncle Ebaneezer and locked him in a freezer. My girlfriend got backstage at one show and they seized her with a tweezer! I knew they were trouble when the Makisupa policeman came to my house, and I didn’t even have time to stash the gumbo. Since hearing them I’ve been feeling tipsy, fuddled, boozy, groggy with a fat bulk expense mass lump block clod on my fluffhead. Boy, man! God! shit.
At one The Phish show, someone forced me to consume an awful concoction that contained a little scoop of plaster mix, some coffee grounds and mud, a pot of melted wax, a forefoot and a hoof, apple core, worms galore, a can of some corrosive, coconuts and chloroform, some wicker and some cork, toxic waste and purple paste. My Mind split open and melted right there on the spot.
This band is dangerous. Whatever you do, take care of your shoes.
-Marco Esquandolas
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
175 
3
4:11 pm
Marco, Did The Dude of Life make you say all that jibber jabber?! Or were you just dancing with Elihu up on Leemor’s bed? What Would Fee Do?
Praise or Condemn:
16 
1
8:44 am
I hear the lead singer is a rabid-victim, martyr. Stranded, level-headed boy, you’d better bend. Soon your luscious, honey-sugar mellifluous life is gonna end. The bassist is no better with those shifty eyes. He spoke my name for many days, pronouncing it in several ways. And moving letters all around, he substituted every sound. Furthermore, when I heard the end result, I told you it WAS NOT MY FAULT! Don’t get me started on the transvestite drummer either…He’s got is simple, cause he’s got a band. And he plays bee-bop in the band. And finally, the tone-deaf keyboard player with a woman’s name. He is so rancid, he has cluster-flies alas. Can’t say I blame him though, for this time of year is bad.
This article is gold.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
27 
1
5:09 pm
Are you on drugs? (Surprise, surprise). I can’t hardly tell what that whole mess is supposed to mean.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
22
1:55 pm
Sure, you’re entitled to Freedom of Speech…but your Freedom of Speech becomes libel and slander when your statements are deliberate lies told to defame or cause damage to others. So go on. Spew your grossly inaccurate and perverted rhetoric on the band and their fans. Just be prepared to pass your little weaved basket around to your followers so they can pay for the damages inflicted by your lies. I find it very sad that a man who calls himself a Christian would not only write lies, but truly be so hateful towards people he obviously knows nothing about.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
53 
5
5:59 pm
Slander is a spoken word, as in conversation. It does not mean something written down. Get your ridiculous facts STRAIGHT! And I don’t take your threats kindly, buddy. Absolutely not appropriate.
Hot debate. What do you think?
8 
63
7:33 pm
Then it’s libel, you dirtbag.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
32 
6
7:36 pm
LMFAO…shit. You got me. This piece was so far out there I should have realized it was satire. I’ll be checking out your website in the future. Well done,brother.
Praise or Condemn:
10 
6
10:12 pm
http://www.ajc.com/news/ga-man-awarded-404-809868.html?cxtype=rss_news_82001&utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter
As shown here in this case… Sorry sir but you can have a lawsuit based soley on the Submition of typed documents on or over the internet falsley accusing, or deliberlately slandering a person company, etc… So you need to get your facts straight.
For instance the Festivals that these Bands Like Phish go to have donated Millions towards a healthier and greener society, and several beneficial causes so we have a future in this planet …etc…
How much has your church donated…
Praise or Condemn:
11 
7
5:10 pm
I look forward to our day in court but I kindly act you people to bathe beforehand.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
14
11:40 am
you being a journalist and all…one would think you understand the meaning of the words you place in your bullshit article, slander can also be used in a “report” get your shit straight…you have obviously never even seen the parking lot of a phish show, sure there is NOS everywhere, but guess what, i will have a balloon, not 25 balloons. it’s good fun, you should try it, i think it would clear your head. yes sir, someone should strap you to a tank and zap all your braincells, you never know, you could be de-brainwashed, and then you might get a real fucking job, and stop writing this yellow bullshit… people jerking off in port-o’s, what the fuck was going through your head, who would believe that nonsense? You should be sued, and jailed.
reasons why EVERYONE on here thinks your full of shit
1. your a pedophile
2. you don’t know the bands name
3. mary-j and xmas w/o weed are not songs by phish
4. violence? what? the? FUCK? i have never seen violence at a concert
5. yep treys blowing my mind with that guitar solo, he must have just shot a good amount of heroin into his eyeball!!!! SIGN ME UP
6. i smoke the best chronic available, i bring to shows, i smoke it and pass it around, and all the sudden i have some drug addled woman sucking me off right there in the show? sounds pretty awesome i know (aka fucking disgusting) sorry gals you gotta get to know me before we can set up a pipe-hit to head agreement.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
3
2:14 pm
Mister Billings How much should I told you that your Little constitution doesn’t affect Internet because it,s called WORLD WIDE WEB and not AMERICA WEB
Your constitution doesn’t affect the internet in other word if you start using detah threat on us we can fill a legal suit against you
also the Band or the fans can actually fill a lawsuit against You and the entire site as well if you go too far
your freedom of speech is NOTHING HERE
Praise or Condemn:
11 
4
6:06 pm
Do you really believe these people will get together to prove that their concerts AREN’T giant sex and drugs parties? How would they even go about doing that? Let’s be realistic here!!!
Praise or Condemn:
6 
13
7:12 pm
You and your type of nonsensical ramblings are what have driven me and so many other young people to pull away from the church, not from God mind you, but the “church” as prescribed by the likes of you. It is truly disheartening to me that so many will read this article and take it as the truth. This is not how God has taught us to be. I went from being a Phish Phan, to being “saved” back to being a Phish Phan. I could no longer stomach the prejudices and lies being spewed by those who where supposed to be my spiritual leaders. I have never encountered such acceptance and good will as from the people who attend these shows, any many others. In my humble opinion, you are a poor excuse for an “investigative journalist”. Also, I wouldn’t let you within 100 miles of my children or their party, lest you spew this same destructive hate at them!
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
29 
3
11:09 pm
You are so out there. First off we are very powerful group of people. We are doctors, lawyers, congressmen and congresswomen, teachers, police officers and the list goes on and on. You do not realize the potential of the people you have just slandered. Wake up. We will have the last laugh when you are handed papers for a class action suite. Emails have been flying around all day. The fans of this band are fans of peace and love and harmony. You have sought to destroy this harmony and you are self sir are the cause of all the hate in this world. You are no different then the Taliban or osama bin laden his self. We are very motived and highly successful people that will come after you will the laws of this great nation. I wish you luck because you just disturbed a bee hive.
Praise or Condemn:
9 
5
5:30 pm
You guys claim to be countercultural, then you say you’re “powerful” like the business leaders getting their TARP dollars and destroying America? Get your cover stories straight! And don’t be ridiculous.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
8
5:48 pm
This BS coming from a site with articles such as… “why do hippies still exist in America” “Is my husband gay?” “Vajazzling, the newest threat to your college son” and “how to spot a masturbator”. I hate to say it…but you’re a very sick man. I noticed how you mentioned “they really came out of the woodwork on this one”. Your damn right we did….because we don’t accept your “back woods hick” mentality. Would you come out of the woodwork if we posted an article… “Just say no to The God”?? bet you would.
Bouncin around the room about a guy beating his wife???….damn you are sick. And prince Caspian was a song written for Trey’s daughter. Might be good to check a few facts before you write this crap for the world to see.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
3:06 pm
I’d join the class action lawsuit against this author. I’ve been to many shows and this article is so inaccurate that it is definitely slander. Readers – please don’t believe this nonsense of an article. It is not true.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
31 
6
3:22 pm
I’m a G*d fearing catholic and Phish, not “the Phish” is my favorite band. I have seen 64 shows since 1998. This article is full of false statement about a band that does nothing but respect its fans and communities that it plays in. They promote peace and love of music. Communism??? Where do you get that idea. Biggest line of b.s. I ever read. I’m all for your freedom of speech, but at least do proper research before you call a group of people communists. That is a very serious statement. I’m a middle right republican and despise socialists and communists. Maybe you should school yourself a little more before you write such a completely false article. G*d bless you and your family.
Praise or Condemn:
22 
4
4:26 pm
Dear Billingsly,
Thank you for enlightening so many people to the horrors Phish brings the world. You forgot a few things though that I think may sway more good people into the light:
-They are part of a secret society founded by a Charles Darwin worship cult whose goal is to disseminate the crazy idea that the earth is a little more than six thousand years old, man evolved from primate and didn’t walk with Dinosaurs despite how obvious it is we did!
-Two of the band, I don’t know which, where questioned and suspected of being the 19th and 20th hijcackers that fateful day, 9/11/2001.
-They hypnotize the masses with a sonic neuro emission mind control device developed by the Nazis but later refined by the Reds. It’s in all of their instruments.
-They went to a Liberal Arts College!
-Trey is actually a witch from the 18th century that survived several witch hunts and through dark sorcery has lived this to gain the ear of President Obama. They talk regularly! In fact he oversaw Obama’s birth back in Kenya and cast a evil spell of protection over him.
-They believe the earth is round… ROUND! The lunacy!!!
-They believe they can fly. The believe they can tough the sky. They think about it every night and day. They spread their wings and fly away!
I hope this information helps in your quest to become a level 13 paladin of the militia of Christ. Hopefully you have a +2 attack iron keyboard and a +5 magical touch protected cape, preferably with an automatic cancellation of all meta-hippie cast spells. Make sure not to drop your kid off with the local priest on your way to the military funeral or tea party event. We know how that will go don’t we?
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
43 
0
6:27 pm
Wow you have opened my eyes so much
Amaazing
Praise Jesus!
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4
4:44 pm
Kudos sir on your investigative journalism.
I was wondering who the creepy dude outside the portapotty was while I was trying to rub one out.
Thank you for the tip about doing my rapes behind the grungy tapestry, the mud pit gets my junk all funky.
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5:46 pm
Have I just gone blind from all those drugs that have been injected into me by the band members? I did not see one true Biblical reference in this article. Not to mention, with all the terminology that has been used (aside from “The Phish”,) methinks someone else has spent a few hours on lot himself….
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1
6:10 pm
“But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God– having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.” –2 Timothy 3:1-5.
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21
6:49 pm
I’d bet there isn’t much room in your glass house for all the stones you have piled up. Would you feel better if we created Falafel shrines to your God? Just a thought.
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4
1:19 pm
Billings – you’re cwazy!! Quote the Bible all you want, it’s gibberish whose true message has been lost in translation for hundreds of years – you may as well quote Grimm’s Fairy Tales for all the good it will do for the people you are trying “to save” – give the world a break and stick to talking about the things you actually understand…which is what again? See ya in the funny papers! ppphhhhtttttttttt
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5 
1
9:29 pm
wow…dear man. i feel very sad for you & the hatred that flows through your soul. may you attend a beautiful event, like a phish show, and have your heart opened to the love in this world!
oh yeah…and slander is not protected under the 1st amendment.
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0
1:51 pm
Stephonson billings: You are the most ignorant uncultured man in AMERICA. I have never seen such a poorly investigated and written article in my life, you shoulda done it in crayon. How dare you call yourself a “Journalist” as you bring shame to the title. You are such an asshole Jesus Christ would kick you in the nuts. You are probably friendless, brainless, dick-less, soul-less, uneducated, ignorant, delusional, completely out of touch from reality, a pedophile, and I’d be willing to bet that you will soon be spearhead the next Waco. Look at what you just did to yourself. You have no qualifications to write nor live. KYS. Also sorry it took so long to write back I was typing with one hand while masturbating to your soda bottle collection (who the fuck collects soda bottles) You’re a grown ass man, act like it douche.
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6:13 pm
It thrills me that my faith and love terrifies you so.
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3:06 pm
Terrifies??!!! If anything it makes us feel sorry for you that you invest so much time in 1) Making up lies about something you know nothing about 2) Collecting SODA BOTTLES, what???? Who collects soda bottles???
Don’t worry all of us Phish fans are more than sure that what we are doing is by our own choices. No one can really make you do what you don’t want to do at those shows but if you want love that is where you’ll find it in abundance. Not the Bible or the Church. You should try being open minded and caring once, maybe, I don’t know, you’ll like it??
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0
12:16 am
Spoken like a true terrorist.
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0
3:55 pm
Sir, I am not going to go on a rant about my opposing view of yours. If I had the time, I would go through your article sentence by sentence and refute every statement you have made. You say that we know nothing of what the founding fathers intended our country to be. I find it odd that on your Facebook profile, you cite a Thomas Jefferson quote as your top quote. I’m not sure if you are aware that Jefferson actually re-wrote the bible, removing all of the supernatural acts of Christ. With you being such a devout Christian, I find it hard to believe that you did not know this. As to the free speech point, you defend yourself and your rights, but if I were to write about the story of Christ and the virgin birth citing the FACT that the same exact story had been told centuries before Christ, thus refuting your religion and proving that what you have dedicated your life to is a lie, would you be as willing to defend my free speech rights? Christianity, no matter how you argue it, is a closed minded organization. Against gay marriage, abortion, stem-cell research, climate change reform, inter-racial marriages, and untold others. Phish fans like myself are more about open-mindedness, acceptance of those who are different, respectful of those who choose to do with their lives whatever inspires them. It would seem that these “hippie phish fans” are more moral than you and your fellow i’m assuming evangelicals. I don’t hate you, in fact, I feel sorry for you. If this truly is your belief about Phish fans, which I doubt, it would seem there are far more important issues to be presenting. Honestly though, I don’t believe that you believe what you have written here. I believe you are simply taking a page out of the Glenn Beck/Rush Limbaugh/Sarah Palin playbook. Saying things so outrageous, to gain attention, and I’m sure that some day you hope your false fear mongering will lead to some sort of Fox news blog position. As another poster mentioned and proved, Phish does not condone drug use. Additonally, bands like String cheese incident stopped playing b/c of how out of control the drug scene was becoming. The most ridiculous accustion you’ve made is the “phishing” internet conspiracy and how this funds Phish tours. Have you looked at Phish ticket prices? In some cases upwards of 1000 dollars. One more issue. The photo you have of trey with the multiple neck guitar is my photograph from Alpine Valley. I’d appreciate some photo credit.
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18 
1
8:10 pm
wow..where to begin?? first off, what ever happened to the christian ideal that ONLY god can judge? a few elements of this article/fairytale are true, but the vast majority is crazier than a 12 year old girl at a justin beiber show! Is spreading lies a core christian value now, or did u just happen to eat one of those lsd laced cookies before you started writing?
Next i think i’ll touch on the comparison of album sales to live music…what makes a platinum selling “artist” more wholesome than a band that perfoms night after night w/out computer enhancement? Would u prefer someone download a podcast of your sermon as opposed to showing up in person every sunday??
i kept reading this article hoping to find out it was written by the onion or some other comedian…it was sad to find out it was not a joke. As someone else said, there are definitely elements of the scene that are detrimental to society sure, but the same can be said about christianity.. the only difference is that radical christian extremists do it under the cover of god, where as the drug addicted “The Phish” fans make no bones about doing it for a good time!
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4 
1
12:58 am
Hey Phish Legal, very well said!!!!!
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2
7:12 pm
More people are raped and murdered in the name of GOD than in any other name in history
Fuck you to the author of this article doesn’t the bible warn of lying. Luckily you go to church to releive your sins those of us who do not sin do not to to got as often. Eat dick and choke on your bible
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4 
0
1:46 pm
Absolutely awesome! To get Phish Legal to respond. This just gets better and better. Satire at it’s finest….For now.
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1 
0
10:18 am
It’s 2011, and this fool is unable to, at the very least, research the correct origin of the term “Phishing” when referring to cyber-crime?
Just stop, man. Most people are not this proud of their stupidity.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
29 
2
1:26 pm
don’t worry he Know he already used that to Phish little boy to his camping trip
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2 
0
10:20 am
It’s 2011, and this fool is unable to, at the very least, research the correct origin of the term “Phishing” when referring to cyber-crime?
You should just stop. Most people are not this proud of their stupidity.
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6 
1
10:23 am
“it’s high time we get educated about the undeniable threat our children are now facing.”
You don’t have any children?
“Bouncing Round The Room” tells the horrendous story of a man who brutally beats his girlfriend around his apartment while on a drug binge.”
You know what really pisses me off? When a sexist motherfucker who views women as the inferior gender gets all gung-ho against domestic violence. You don’t respect us, why should you care about bodily harm to us?
“The band pays for tanks of hospital nitrous oxide to be wheeled out so that the hordes of regulars struggling with their symptoms of withdrawal can be managed.”
Source?
“Those too high to return to their parent’s homes will go anywhere nearby to sleep. In dirty motel rooms and even in the backs of old schoolbuses, these people will give their bodies over to painful patchouli sex parties in exchange for a wet pillow on which to rest their heads. (Rumors that roadies and band members regulary crash these events to demand gratification have garnered the attention of police detectives.) In other parking lot vehicles, puffs on pot pipes are bartered for hasty fondlings. Grungy tapestries may hide the worst of these acts from passing eyes, but the cries and splattered fluids on windows are enough to tell the horrific story. For the frustrated, reckless masturbation in Port-O-Johns is the highlight of their evenings. It gives them a small sense of control to harass their aching phalluses to the beat of drummer Fishman’s incoherent thrashings.”
Source?
“One area of this culture that demands closer inspection is The Phish’s involvement in cybercrime. It may explain the tremendous growth of their empire and how these endless tours are financed. A few years back, investigators noticed a new type of theft across the internet. In a secret nod to this rock band, it was named “Phishing” and involved high tech identity fraud.”
By that token, I suppose the good ol’ Ben and Jerry’s flavor “Phish Food” is related to this as well?
“If their activities are leading to gun violence, child rape or mass suicide, should we not do everything in our power to stop it?”
Yeah, by enforcing better GUN CONTROL LAWS, you jerk.
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10:56 am
Hi there Claire, I am happy to help you with your questions. I realize this is a complex issue, particularly for young women. Many girls who date “phishheads” have problems adjusting to the general lifestyle of it all. In any event, I am of course opposed to domestic violence and I wholly condemn music that seeks to glamorize it, such as The Phish song mentioned.
As for the drug Nitrous Oxide, it is strangely common for concertgoers. I am not really sure why, but a simple google search turns up many police reports detailing the subject.
If you want evidence of the terrifying scene at these concerts and the lengths criminals go to evade authorities, you need only read “Phish Fan Crawls Through Sewers For 2 Days To Evade Cops”.
Well, I hope that helps! Be well little friend!
Stephenson Billings
Certified Investigative Journalist
Hot debate. What do you think?
7 
36
1:09 pm
“As for the drug Nitrous Oxide, it is strangely common for concertgoers. I am not really sure why, but a simple google search turns up many police reports detailing the subject.”
Your source is a Vegan website? I thought you hated Vegans?
“In any event, I am of course opposed to domestic violence and I wholly condemn music that seeks to glamorize it, such as The Phish song mentioned.”
Yes, but you have said before that you view females as inferior, which, in my book, is just as bad as physical violence against women.
“Well, I hope that helps! Be well little friend!”
Why do you insist on calling me your friend? Also, I’ve noticed that you refer to everybody, even your facebook “friends” as “little”. That is highly derogatory.
“Certified Investigative Journalist”
Why do you insist on billing yourself as that, when I’ve told you about 100 times that I don’t buy it, ESPECIALLY after you’ve refused to provide PROOF of your credentials?
1. make a COPY of your certificate
2. take the COPY YOU JUST MADE (NOT the original) and use a black marker to BLACK OUT ANY PERSONAL INFO LIKE SS#, ADDRESS, ETC
3. SCAN the BLACKED OUT COPY onto your computer and save it as an image file (you know, .jpg, .gif, etc)
4. go to http://www.tinypic.com and UPLOAD the image
5. share the URL with us so that we can see PROOF of your claims
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13 
1
6:24 pm
“Let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not the power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.” –1 Corinthians 7:2-4.
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3 
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7:39 pm
What do you think you’re going to accomplish by posting those ridiculous bible quotes?
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6 
1
8:38 pm
^He’s trying to prove that he’s a loony. He admitted that he doesn’t care what Jesus said, so why the fuck should he follow the Bible? All he has to do is call himself a Christian and he thinks he’ll get into Heaven, fuck what Jesus said about loving thy neighbor and whatnot, he’s out for blood and a meal ticket in the afterlife.
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1 
1
1:27 pm
Wow, you sir, are an uninformed fuckin idiot. You are a disgrace to any REAL journalist. I’ve been seeing Phish since 1998 and I was born into a Christian family overseas. My parents are still hardcore into their religion and that is their choice. You’ll never hear me telling them what to believe or not to believe or make up bullshit about them.
As far as the whole Nitrous Oxide thing is concerned, if you actually did research you would find that the band condemns the use of Nitrous…which takes place in the FUCKING PARKING LOT YOU DUMBASS MOTHERFUCKER!
Are you seriously….SERIOUSLY saying that Phish promotes lewd sexual acts and promiscuity and you are condemning them for touring to make their money? Then you turn around and use Britney Spears as a role model??? Are you joking? Britney Spears is a degenerate redneck SLUT, who only promotes eating disorders and premarital LEWD sex.
I sent this article to my Dad (a staunch republican and Christian with conservative values) and he even said you are highly misinformed and sound like a quack. He even knows that the scene and band promote love and unity…and even though he doesn’t like that I still go to the shows.
Bouncing around the room isn’t about beating the shit out of a girl…God you seriously are fuckin stupid.
You feed the blind with your bullshit banter and it is SO fucking pathetic how they all eat it up. America is going to crash and burn…and it will be the fault of people like YOU and the people who eat all this shit up.
You and your followers are a disgrace to all mankind and I have no doubt you will burn in hell.
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20 
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8:42 pm
//Hi there Claire, I am happy to help you with your questions. I realize this is a complex issue, particularly for young women. Many girls who date “phishheads” have problems adjusting to the general lifestyle of it all. In any event, I am of course opposed to domestic violence and I wholly condemn music that seeks to glamorize it, such as The Phish song mentioned.//
You don’t listen to Phish, you’ve never attended a Phish concert, several Phish fans have already told you that you’re not calling them the proper name, you think all bands are Satanic and do nothing but convince others to do drugs, and you make shit up all the damn time. You claimed that one band had over half it’s member die due to drug use when Google proves that only ONE died from POSSIBLE drug use.
//As for the drug Nitrous Oxide, it is strangely common for concertgoers. I am not really sure why, but a simple google search turns up many police reports detailing the subject.//
Stevie, you can’t type it “Nitrous Oxide” and “Phish” at the same time and expect all of the results to match what you’re thinking, even if you didn’t type in half of what you were thinking in the first damn place.
//If you want evidence of the terrifying scene at these concerts and the lengths criminals go to evade authorities, you need only read “Phish Fan Crawls Through Sewers For 2 Days To Evade Cops”.//
I can prove that Christians are crazy with a link to an article that states that a Christian man is responsible for the murder of half a dozen people, or that a Christian man raped several women, and so on and so forth. One or two people do not make up the majority you retard.
//Stephenson Billings
Certified Investigative Journalist//
More like certifiably insane.
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7 
3
6:16 pm
I’ve always suspected that you were a Phishhead, Comedian.
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0 
4
12:19 am
On the contrary, I’m not a fan of them at all. Never listened to their music, nor do I care. Not like you give a damn though, you ignore the truth like the plague.
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0 
3
10:27 am
I love beating my dick in the port-a-pottie to Gordon’s bass beat. Oh my god! Just the thought of it makes me want to do it right now! I have to go rip my crack bubbler and try to suck my own dick to wolfman’s brother.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
36 
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10:31 am
alright Im back
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5 
1
10:33 am
This article is blatantly anti semetic. You go after a band with jewish members and slander them, why dont you worthless child molesting, meth using, male massage loving goyim go nail yourselves to crosses somewhere
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3 
4
10:46 am
You’re either a bigot or an imbecile. This article is not about Judaism. Please calm down and God bless.
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3 
16
6:16 pm
FROM YOUR FACEBOOK PAGE D-BAG
“Special Leader of Christian Camping Trips for Hearty Teens! Inquire Within!
Mr. Stephenson Billings is a widely respected and Christian Investigative Journalist… His hobbies include antique soda bottle collecting and the piano.”
WOW. You have no credentials, second of all, soda bottle collecting? Are you really that fucking boring in real life? And Page McConnell would whip your ass at piano.
You’re about to get slapped with some cock bro, just warning you there.
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5 
1
12:33 am
he already did that having cock in his ass why you think he hates gay so bad because he hide is Homosexual tendancy
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1 
1
10:36 am
This is truly the most funniest thing I have ever read! I honestly have no words for this douche!!! GFYS!!!!!!!!!!
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11 
0
10:37 am
You are so disillusioned. I’m a Christin and I’m ashamed of the crap spilling out of this article. Get your facts straight before you throw them out there. Idiots.
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13 
1
10:38 am
Who are you? and get a clue. These guys are a rock band that play music, if you dont like it dont buy it.
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7 
0
10:42 am
Phish was responsible for 9/11 and all the dead animals appearing all over the world in the last month.
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11 
1
10:45 am
Your misguided, unintelligent, cult-induced dribble is just ludicrous defamation. I am certain that Jesus will rep you at trial.
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6 
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10:46 am
thank you, brother, for having the courage to finally unearth the dirty underbelly of the scene.
these “phans” are nothing more than heretical soulless heathens, who subsist solely on lab made chemicals, grilled cheese sammiches, and schwill sammy smiths with reckless and godless abandon.
trey should offer himself as the proverbial pied piper to lead these smelly w00k lemmings off a cliff.
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6 
3
10:48 am
Don’t forget that tour when the drummer bit off bat heads between songs(’74 I think?) or when the guitarist was vice-president(pre-heroin) and invented the internet. Gos darn that internet, it makes it so easy to find that terrible terrible pornography to watch while I listen to Phish and masturbate.
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3 
1
11:20 am
I believe that was Ozzy Ozbourne.
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4 
3
9:25 pm
I hope you know more about soda bottle collecting than you do about investigative journalism. The article you’ve written contains countless inaccuracies. In fact, some would say that it’s “Mostly packed with lies.” Many commenters have urged you to produce sources for the outrageous claims you make. I’m a Christian, so it’s disturbing to me to see someone like yourself (Mr. Stephenson Billings) pass yourself of as a Christian; yet in the same breath you go directly against the teachings you claim to adhere to by putting forth lie after lie. You’ve written this article, and you should have given more thought on what it means to judge people and things you are clearly uninformed about. You yourself will be judged one day. Unfortunately for you, your propensity for being an ignorant liar will call your entire moral fiber into question. May god have mercy on your soul… or is it “My Soul”.
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6 
1
12:37 am
He is not christian iuf he was a REAL christian he would have know what is written on the Jesus cross ( the real meaning )
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0 
1
10:50 am
You forgot to mention “Halley’s Comet” and “Ghost” as Phish songs that have Satantic roots into cocaine use.
I gotta say, I’ve seen more guys who look like Jesus at Phish shows than actually in churches across America. Maybe you need to investigate the immoral usage of Phisheads dressing up like Jesus in order to convert naive citizens.
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12 
1
10:51 am
thank you, brother, for having the courage to finally unearth the dirty underbelly of the scene.
these “phans” are nothing more than heretical soulless heathens, who subsist solely on lab made chemicals, grilled cheese sammiches, and schwill sammy smiths with reckless and godless abandon.
trey should offer himself as the proverbial pied piper to lead these smelly w00k lemmings off a cliff.
thank you, brother, for having the courage to finally unearth the dirty underbelly of the scene. these “phans” are nothing more than heretical soulless heathens, who subsist solely on lab made chemicals, grilled cheese sammiches, and schwill sammy smiths with reckless and godless abandon. trey should offer himself as the proverbial pied piper to lead these smelly w00k lemmings off a cliff.[/img]
[/img]
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4 
1
10:52 am
thank you, brother, for having the courage to finally unearth the dirty underbelly of the scene.
these “phans” are nothing more than heretical soulless heathens, who subsist solely on lab made chemicals, grilled cheese sammiches, and schwill sammy smiths with reckless and godless abandon.
trey should offer himself as the proverbial pied piper to lead these smelly w00k lemmings off a cliff.
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0 
2
10:53 am
I am a Phishead and a Christian. This article is making Christians look psycho. While there are certainly drugs at Phish shows, there are no songs called Marijuana or Christmas without Weed. The origins of Mango Song and Prince Caspian that you have written are total lies. What is wrong with you people.
Phish plays technically difficult music well. They compose music that is played by symphonies. You guys are disgusting that you would lie like this.
Please stop making the majority of Christians look bad. Stop hating life.
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0
10:55 am
sounds like you got tte’d and are still in shock over it
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15 
0
6:43 pm
classic.
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1 
0
11:03 am
The author links directly to his facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001366922231
Well done, dumbass.
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5 
0
11:06 am
I’m not even sure what that insult is supposed to mean.
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1 
5
1:19 pm
It means that a real journalist would link to a VALID news source that he writes for or some sort of VALID journalistic organization that he belongs to, rather than a facebook page.
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10 
2
11:47 pm
Claire only loves Jewish media…
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1 
1
1:03 am
you mean like Fox news ? OUPS sorry I forot to tell you that fox news is actually owned by an australian jews sorry
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1 
0
11:47 pm
Oh look, one of his favorite musicians is Dolly Parton. I think her titties are bigger homewreckers than Phish ever thought about being.
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2 
0
11:08 am
Stephenson Billings? This guy is obviously a troll and this website is an elaborately conceived hoax. I really can’t believe anyone thinks this is real. Check out the articles on most commented:
Is My Husband GAY? (1645)
I Am Extremely Terrified Of Chinese People (1534)
Why Do Hippies Still Exist in America? (919)
How To Spot A Masturbator (878)
What Every Parent Should Know About The TV Show Glee (857)
The Golden Girls: How One TV Show Turned A Generation Of American Boys Into Homosexuals (682)
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4 
1
11:12 am
My work happens to be impeccably researched. I am not sure why it frightens you so.
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11
2:12 pm
This article is proof that your writing is not “impeccably researched.” I believe that type of research would require going to a show, taking in the experience, and speaking with some of the fans. Your baseless assertions about the meanings of some of their songs, and your generalization of the crowds that attend Phish shows, only proves to me that you are interested in one thing, and one thing only – furthering stereotypes and attempting to scare people into your way of thinking. All your article did was make me laugh, because it is, quite frankly, absurd nonsense. Don’t attempt to judge something that you clearly cannot come close to understanding. The ills you speak about in the article are prevalent everywhere in society. And some of the ills of this world, i.e. child molestation, are clearly engrained into the society that you think everyone should live by or they will burn in hell. Who are you to cast judgment on anyone else? You are a human being, like the rest of us. Albeit, a stupid human being, but there are plenty of ignorant people to flock to your writing, so you will continue to spout.
You call us all hippies, and you claim that we only want the Bill of Rights to work for us when it’s convenient. I am all for you standing up and shouting a position that I would (and do) take a direct stand against. All I ask is that you do it intelligently and fully informed, things you obviously refuse or don’t have the brain capacity to do.
In the words of my great leader, “I must inquire . . . can you still have fun?”
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9 
0
6:25 pm
First paragraph about 2/3 of the way down, “engrained” should be spelled “ingrained.”
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2 
6
7:43 pm
“First paragraph about 2/3 of the way down, “engrained” should be spelled “ingrained.””
Bob’s not the one claiming to be a journalist, you know.
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7 
2
3:37 pm
No one is afraid of you man.
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2 
1
10:19 am
All of your information is “impeccably researched” and that is what “frightens us?” I don’t believe I see any citations in your article. I see a letter from a concerned mother writing to Oprah, but no other citations. Even fucking Wikipedia has to have citations. But I’m assuming that with you being such a man of god, you are above citations and proof of research. If you want to write a blog about your gripes, fine, you have every right. However, just because you have access to a website and computer does not make you a legitimate journalist. What are your credentials? Where did you study? And where, if anywhere, are you citations for this article? I think “Phish Legal” might actually have a point about your libelous and slanderous writings. Free speech is one thing, but at the very end of your piece, there is a call for action. How to stop this anti-christ band “THE” Phish? Whats next? Putting crosshairs over each venue that Phish is scheduled to play at? Like I said before, just trying to get a hold of the fear monger teet. Anyone who lists Sarah Palin as their most inspirational person(s) has sunk their ship before the fact. Not to mention you quote her on your facebook profile as Governor Palin. I believe you are a blatant homosexual. But unlike you or your followers, I accept you. Phish fans like myself are open to all races, religions, sexual orientation. If you ever want to abandon your false beliefs and accept your homo-erotic side, we will accept you with open arms. Because that my ignorant friend, is what Phish fans are all about.
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3 
0
8:46 pm
Nope, Stevie’s real alright. No one could say the shit he does and mean it as a joke. He gave a detailed list of torture devices and believes that they should be brought back. There’s a certain line that exists for jokes and Stevie crossed it long ago. Everyone else here is troll though, it just so happens that Stevie thought it was all real and decided to spread his hate here.
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1 
0
1:10 am
not just stevie can be that stupid but hell all other author are trolling and doing merely a Joke
stevie on other hand believe everything he does
which is why he should be put in jail (again)
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1 
0
11:10 am
Whos got my headies!??!??
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12 
0
11:11 am
KYS YOU FUCKING NOOBS
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1 
0
11:16 am
anyone who thinks the article is real wins a darwin award.
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21 
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11:17 am
Great piece. Thank you for bringing this blight to everyone’s attention. I used to be a fan of the phish from Vermont. The used-up teens laying discarded on the floor after patchouli drenched orgies beneath the fluid-spattered windows of my old school bus were obvious proof. Thank God I was pulled from that wicked lifestyle and shown the way of His light.
Some of you need to pull their skirts down… your pussies are showing!
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11:21 am
I like to masturbate while thinking about Jesus
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11:22 am
hahah hilarious article.
Couldn’t be further from the truth. Most of us are working professionals who travel around to see new, fresh music. Everyone I meet at shows (I have been to 35) is courteous, nice and open. None of the close minded fools like the author here.
I am a software developer, so I am obviously not some drugged out hippie. My friends who attend with me are a biologist, a lawyer, a medical technician, other software developers, and other professionals.
Some people at shows do exhibit some of the qualities in the article but to generalize would be to say that all Christians have sex with little boys, steal money (Vatican), and believe in Jesus coming to America. Now all those 3 traits are part of some Christian belief but of different parts. So its a generalization just like putting all Phishheads in this generalization.
Very sad that people think like the author. Be careful with your hate speech it will probably come back to haunt you.
Signed,
a kind Phish Head who is definitely smarter and makes more money at 25 than most who read and believe this site will ever make in their life. But I guess ignorance is bliss, so enjoy.
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5:17 pm
man I was in complete agreement until that last sentence, which just kinda makes you sound like a douche. why should the amount of money you make have any bearing on that validity of your opinion? is it relevant in any way?
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6:28 pm
Thank you my beautiful young friend for defending my honor. You are truly a soldier of mercy!
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8:51 pm
Actually, it does. Stevie believes that if you have a job that gives out tips, that you shouldn’t get a tip whatsoever, and he will only donate money to services that are Christian only. If it’s going to help kids in Africa, his motto is “let’em starve, for they sinned!” and then try to pity them later when he gets called out on it. That, and Stevie believes that if you like the things he hates, that you’re nothing but a hardcore drug user who’s in denial. True, douchey statement is a bit douchey, but considering how Stevie views all non-Christians as absolute failures, it’s just the kind of words that need to be shoved into his face.
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5:53 pm
“a kind Phish Head who is definitely smarter and makes more money at 25 than most who read and believe this site will ever make in their life. But I guess ignorance is bliss, so enjoy”
But obviously not smart enough to take a joke. You probably think the sex phone operator you listen to is hat and really loves you and when you heard war of the worlds on the radio you probably ran to get your gun.
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1 
1
11:28 am
Besides the band themselves and the crew, I am the lone survivor of the November 18th, 1988 Jonestown Massacre 10 year anniversary concert Phish put on. I was there the day Phish commemorated that horrible event with what is possibly their best concert ever. As the band reached new levels of consciousness, intensity, and spiritual planes not known to the common man during a 47 minute You Enjoy Myself, I waited patiently for my turn to drink the koolaide.
As the band reached the climatic vocals of “Boy…Man…God…Shit” it all became so crystal clear. I watched as a boy drank the poisonous drink and fell to the ground. Then the man, his father, followed suite. I watched as each person collapsed to meet their God. And finally they would all lie there, decomposing to shit.
How you ask did I survive this? I managed to slip to the back of the line and watch my fellow phriends die one by one. However, the music was too intense and just kept calling me to not drink the koolaide, despite the band repeatedly chanting from the stage, “Do It! Do It! Drink It! Good”. Their lighting director, using the blunt force of a par can light, made me be the last to drink. But I managed to secretly spit out the poison. I dropped to the ground, playing dead, and joined the rest of the lifeless bodies on the ground.
As the band played for another 6 hours and 47 minutes, I laid on the corpse stained field, writhing in delight from the crunchy jams transcending the venue that brisk November night. At times, it was impossible to not succumb to the music and indulge in my deviance. I masturbated, cautiously I might add, to the Tweeprise encore and used a nearby dreadlock to wipe up my pearly goodness. No one was paying attention so I darted for my VW bus and made my get away. I lived in the mountains of Florida for 6 years until I was able to face reality again.
This band is EVIL!
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11:29 am
I would appreciate it if you would take this article down, we have been deceiving the youth of America for over twenty years now and we’re planning on having all Phans who attend Watkins Glen this summer drink poison Kool-aid ala Heaven’s gate cult. SO please respect our wishes and let us kill these degenerates in peace.
Sincerely,
Mike, Trey, Page and Fish.
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9:20 pm
I’m looking forward to spending my final 4 days on Earth in Watkins Glen, New York, listening to my favorite band, and enjoying some toxic Kool-Aid!
You do realize that this entire website is a joke right? Literally – it is a satire website. The author is someone’s alter-ego. From some of the terminology he uses I would guess he is actually a Phish fan. You guys can take a joke, right? Without demanding that it be removed from the internet?
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12:58 pm
and when Buzz Aldrin landed on the m00n he said a prayer to it that it would be rotate its holy orbit from now until forever Amen
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1 
0
11:31 am
French Bread Pizza! Get your hot french bread pizza!
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1
11:33 am
Great article, agree 100%! I just listened to the ‘Christmas Without Weed > Marijuana > BBFCFM > Christmas Without Weed (Reprise)’ from Big Cypress. Off the hook!
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7:45 pm
Big Cypress was a killer show!
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0
11:33 am
Is this some sort of joke? What cult have has the author of this article been brainwashed by?
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11:35 am
do do atamagashock…..
Happy New Year – The meatstick
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABhIzoo0-xc
At least we don’t follow the Insane CLOWN posse. Your article fails to mention the HIGHly successful fan base who are able to hold careers in medicine, education, finance & accounting, economics, your child’s teachers, your child’s bus drivers. you should just all lock up your children since god is the only thing in life worth following -
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11:35 am
I just finished reading your article about the band, Phish, and I have to say, it really seems like you simply Googled a few keywords, Wikipedia’d some things as well, and found some outlandish articles about fans of the band. Of course, with any touring act of any kind with a lot of followers, there will be some people who define the scene. Of course, Phish has the “hippie drug user” image, and many people who attend these shows do take drugs, so ok, you KIND of got a point correct there. However, where did you get the information about some of the song lyrics? Did you assume “Bouncing Around the Room” is about a man who beats his wife? Or did you simply make that up? What about, “Christmas Without Weed?” How in the world did you think this was a Phish song? Did you not even fact check to make sure this was actually written by the band? Why didn’t you just say they wrote “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds” about their experiences with LSD? Maybe because everyone and their mother knows The Beatles wrote it, so you take a song, which by the way isn’t even a song ANYONE knows, and LIE about it to fit your article. I am not even going to continue with all that is morally wrong with the rest of the total BS you wrote, but I really would like to know WHERE in the WORLD you got your facts. These men have families, are good people, and make music. Do you really have to put them on the same level as cultists and child molesters? Do you really have no better issues to write about? It came to Phish? Really, that’s ALL you have? I feel bad for you, sir. I would really appreciate if you answered everything with a ? after it, since the few half-assed replies you gave beat around anything asked of you. You are actually destroying America with the nonsense you and your organization put out there. If anything, I hope you realize you are a horrible writer, with NO facts whatsoever, and I am sure you just get off reading emails like this, and trying to put people down and destroy lives. Of course, you will only reply with a “god loves you” or something along those lines. Don’t think we are fooled, this article screams what you must be like as a person, and it is nothing like how you view yourself. Shut your mouth, throw away your keyboard. You don’t deserve either, despite any freedom of speech or any other BS rebuttal you may have. If there is a hell, have fun with all of us Phish fans, because you are heading there too. Don’t worry though, pssst… there is no such thing.
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12:10 pm
Sorry Nick I am not a DJ at your local disco and I DO NOT TAKE REQUESTS!!!
Stop being so bossy. It’s a real turn off.
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7
2:58 pm
“I am not a DJ at your local disco.”
This just shows how out of touch you really are. I’m glad you read these comments. Sure must make you feel good inside.
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0
4:33 pm
You don’t want to bother proving how you’re an ‘investigative journalist’? Color me shocked.
Also, why should someone want to turn you on? We already know you get your jollies off by being proven wrong at every turn, so why should we put extra effort to get your tiny dick up just so you can shove it in a little boy’s ass?
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1:42 pm
you people are all genuine a grade crazy, like honeslty genuinly nuts. although thanks for the article i havent a good laugh in a long time.
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0
11:35 am
do do atamagashock…..
looks like its time for the meatstick…….
Happy New Year – The meatstick
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2 
1
11:38 am
“breaded elders and teen boys are forced into nightmares of sexual congress.”
HE CLAIM’S ON FB THAT HE IS A…
“Special Leader of Christian Camping Trips for Hearty Teens! Inquire Within!”
HE’S ACTIVITY’S AND INTEREST’S ON FB ARE CLOWNS & GEORGE H. BUSH.
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=123259231062974&set=a.123259074396323.35479.100001366922231
THIS FUCKING DUDE TAKES BOYS INTO THE WOODS AND RAPE’S THEM….
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1
11:40 am
Christwire: Hateful values for uneducated Jesus freaks.
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0
11:40 am
“breaded elders and teen boys are forced into nightmares of sexual congress.”
HE CLAIM’S ON FB THAT HE IS A…
“Special Leader of Christian Camping Trips for Hearty Teens! Inquire Within!”
HE’S ACTIVITY’S AND INTEREST’S ON FB ARE CLOWNS & GEORGE H. BUSH.
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=123259231062974&set=a.123259074396323.35479.100001366922231
THIS FUCKING DUDE TAKES BOYS INTO THE WOODS AND RAPE’S THEM….
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0
11:42 am
Seriously, this guy has a point here. You phishheads with your novice blunt rolling skills are an embarrassment. It makes it much harder for Phish to further their agenda of gun violence, child rape and mass suicide when you guys are using poorly assembled marijuana products.
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11:46 am
I’ve been listening to Phish music for years now. I have attended concerts as well. I am now a gainfully employed churchgoing American with a family. Let me illuminate you, in your ignorance, of what is actually happening here. The members of Phish are musicians, not political/social activists or drug dealers. They have little public political or social aspirations besides the art of their music. However, due to the improvisational nature of their music, many kids (and adults) flock to these concerts and do drugs while there. Yes, many of the people attending their concerts do drugs. There’s no denying that. However, the band isn’t handing out free samples of drugs for them to use or telling their fans to go use drugs either. It’s the people who attend the shows who do this themselves. Almost every concert I have ever been too, across all genres of music, have people who are using drugs or alcohol. This has been happening for decades. Do Phish fans use more drugs that most fans attending other concerts? Probably. But I have attended many of their concerts and I was completely sober. And I was not influenced or pressured into using drugs by anyone. In fact, I found many of the worst drug users there to be quite laughable and disgusting. A good Christian parent is able to teach their children how to be good people without having to lie about all of the other people in the world that do not follow the right path in life. That will surely backfire in your face when your children grow up and find that you were exaggerating or outright lying to them. That’s when they rebel and assume that ALL of what you told them is suspect, and fall into a bad lifestyle of sex & drugs. This article only makes you look ignorant and foolish and will ultimately influence some of your readers with children to overreact and ultimately undermine the relationship they have with their children.
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12:15 pm
Do you actually think this guy could get a chick to have kids with him? We don’t even know him and within 2 minutes we already hate him.
How could anyone want to spend more than 5 minutes with this guy. I mean read what he writes and then look at him. I actually kind of feel bad for him, but not after writing such slanderous lies.
But look on his FB page and look at his activites and interests. What chick in their right mind would want to even look at this guy.
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3 
0
6:34 pm
I am not homosexual, buddy.
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7:50 pm
Any 60 year old man who’s never been married and yet makes outrageous claims like being “200% heterosexual” is deep in the closet.
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1
8:57 pm
You mis-spelled ‘heterosexual’ buddy.
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0
11:46 am
If you think this article is real you’ve been had! Just look at some of the other articles. This site is basically the same concept as the Onion. Come on people!
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11:54 am
HIs facebook page is pretty real dude. I think the other article are just as bad.
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12:11 pm
Anybody can create a Facebook page. His activities include boy raping. One of the other articles is entitled ‘San Fransisco Now Putting Butt Plug Removal Machines on Corners’. Get your head out of your ass, it’s satire!
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1 
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1:58 pm
The Christmas Without Weed (CWOW) > Simple from Hampton is sick! Also recommend the Marijuana > Twist > Marijuana > Carini > Marijuana from 10/14/05, and the Caspian > Cocaine Jam from Red Rocks.
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11:48 am
FUCK YOU stephenson billings get off that christian moral high horse PHISH has done more for this nations communities than you assholes ever will
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1
11:50 am
boo jesus, yay phish!!
WSP SUX
Noah never built an arc either, lets get real people
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11:52 am
The hardest thing to understand about this article is whether it’s satirical or serious. Same with the comments. Either way I can’t stop laughing, both at the statements made, and how fucking retarded conservative America is. Thank you, whateverwebsitethisis.com, you’ve made my day.
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11:52 am
I have been attending Phish concerts for 20 years, and ad much as I have tried, I never got laid, even once. And man, did i try, and try, and try. I hooked up once at Deer Creek and the girl was someone from back home. Believe me, if Phish shows had 1/10 of the sex and orgies you refer to, 2 million people would show up to each concert.
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11:54 am
I recently escaped from this cult like band’s grip. Oh the stories I have of how they are channeling Satan with their music. I first attended a Phish concert when I was in my teenage years. When I arrived the parking lot, I was detained by one of the older cult leaders and forced to smoke marijuana out of a pipe filled with gasoline. They even tried to feden my dog acid!!! What kind of sick Satan worshiping criminals are these people?!? At a concert in Colorado in my earlier years, it was really brought to my attention when the guitar player, Ray Antipasta, tried to summon a demon iguana out of the rocks! I left that concert a changed man, and a quickly fled the scene. I’ve heard recent rumblings of an attempt to gather all of their “fans” inside a mothership in May. This is Satan at work in all of his wretched glory. LOCK UP YOUR CHILDREN, THE PHISH FROM VERMONT ARE COMING TO A TOWN NEAR YOU!!!
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12:11 pm
Thank you for the brave confession my friend. God’s blessings on you!
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5 
1
11:55 am
when did tray write “Gin and Juice”?
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1 
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12:01 pm
Yo check this out:
Activities:
Clowns,
GHW BUsh
Tennessee Walking Horses
TEA PARTY PROTESTS
SARAH PALIN
Cult leader
Little boy raper
OMG haha.. what a selfing! This guy is a winner right here.
Seriously though I meet more successful people on Phish lot than this guy.
Also can you please show us the source for some of this information like asked above? Especially about how the band buys Nitrous Oxide for the fans? Um that is totally not true. Please please show us your sources.
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12:04 pm
Stephenson Billings is a noob. Article is hilarious.
Thanks. Would read again.
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12:10 pm
Nobody wants my delicious pizza? Fine. Fuck you!
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4 
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12:26 pm
This is the most erroneous, mal-informed article I have ever read. You clearly have no idea what the band Phish is about, nor can you grasp the depth of their music and the art of live music. You must be a miserable human being. You are spreading lies to further your own cause.
You made up lyrics to Phish songs which DO NOT EXIST to prove your points. You cannot prove a point based upon words YOU made up. You are a pitiful human being, I bet you are that crazy Christian mother from that mom switching TV show.
THEY’RE ALL GONNA LAUGH AT YOU!!
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3 
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12:39 pm
This piece is full of insight and truth. Very impressed with your style investigative journalism. I take issue with one point, “from poorly-rolled blunts.” Phish heads are actually very adept with blunt rolling. However, you were spot on with the masturbation part. That stuff goes on everywhere. Keep your kids away.
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12:39 pm
wow Stephon youve outdone yourself!!
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12:40 pm
“One of their most famous works, “Prince Caspian” is centered on cocaine use and even opens with the noise of a bubbling crack pipe. The lyric, “the children in the fields all sowing seed and chaffing” is a clear reference to the cocoa growers of Columbia. “Bouncing Round The Room” tells the horrendous story of a man who brutally beats his girlfriend around his apartment while on a drug binge. “The Mango Song” talks about running out of marijuana supplies, while “Twist” celebrates a hardcore LSD trip.”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA X Infinity
This is the most ridiculous article I’ve ever read. Some Christians are so fucking stupid.
WSP SUX
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12:49 pm
This article is just another attempt to brainwash the christian youth. Religious promises are lies.
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1
12:50 pm
Tired of these atheist hippie bands poisoning our youth.
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2:17 pm
thank you mr. billings for this. the phish is poisoning our youth. what they really should be listening to is this band called The Widespread Panic.
wait. wsp sucks
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1
12:53 pm
This is most comical. You are so far off I dare not even delve as to how.
Thanks for the comic relief.
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12:55 pm
I hope you know what Libel is because it’s not in the 1st Amendment. Class action lawsuit FTW!!! Does the Bible protect you from Libel; you’d better hope so, start praying now!
Lumpy Head.
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6:37 pm
Most court clerk’s offices close at 3pm. If the Phisheads actually got out of bed before 4, I might, MIGHT, believe this is possible.
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9:03 pm
I like how you make up evidence to prove how evil others are. It makes you look so dignified! Surely a fan of a band you hate is nothing more than a dirty drug user! I mean, you hate them, so it’s only natural they do evil things, even though you’re for rape and abuse and slavery! You’re the shining example of what good is!
Wait, what?
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2 
1
12:57 pm
Stephenson Billings——- go fuck yourself
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12:58 pm
So this whole time when I thought I was having a good time I was securing my place in hell? Thanks to Mr. Billings for pulling me out of the depths of despair. Mr. Billings, please do contact me, I need more kool-aid to drink. If it werent for people like you I might actually go to church from time to time. Good job NOT doing God’s work. Guess I will just have to go back to the hellish cocaine soaked orgies that I have grown used to from seeing one band in particular. Maybe one day I can follow your path and get a huge stick up my ass and tell others how they are doomed. Kudos!
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1:00 pm
Hahahhahahahaha This might be the most un-intelligent article i have ever read. Thanks for the laugh, I needed that. “The Phish” hahahahhaa. Prince Caspian happens to be my favorite phish song, and i think it’s hillarious that the author tried to interpret the lyrics hahhahahaha whatta dumbass.
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1:04 pm
I would choose my own religion
And worship my own spirit
But if he ever preached to me
I wouldn’t want to hear it
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5 
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1:05 pm
THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!
I have a story of confession and redemption.
I first heard Phish when I was in high school. My friends were going to the concert and I tagged along because I didn’t know any better. I was raised in wonderful home filled with Christ’s love (and the love of my brothers, sisters and parents.) I was maybe 16 and I guess it was just at a time in my life I was really struggling. You see, I was a chronic masturbator, though I kept that a closely guarded secret, I was terrified that my sinning would cast a dark shadow on my family and home, but I just couldn’t help myself.
When my friends told me about the Phish concert, I was interested, it sounded fun. I naively listened to their music, not understanding the overtly satanic, un-American, communist, fascist, pro-abortion lyrics. I thought the songs were just about Lizards, antelopes and Robert Palmer (whoever that is lol!). Well, needless to say, by the end of the show I was completely brainwashed. I was secret supplied with drugs (they slipped them into my 7Up) and at the end of the show, I thought I had a new calling. I strayed from Jesus and into the cult of “Gamehendge”. I was told the true history of the world, learning that songs like “Guelah Papyrus” contained the a code that revealed the “true history of The United States.” Looking back now, it was so clear what the cult was doing.
What really hooked me was the mass masturbation. I am actually shocked that you did not include this practice in your thought provoking article. At every Phish concert, they band takes a break in the middle and at that time, the entire crowd, men and women, simultaneously masturbate. For a chronic masturbator like myself, this was intoxicating. It was like a drug! But what was even more like a drug was the drugs! I began to regularly take all kinds of drugs to heighten my self-stimulation. The following summer, I followed the band and the cult to northern Maine for an entire weekend of devil music, drugs and masturbation. I thought it was the greatest weekend of my life, but I soon learned that the consequences would be devastating. I dropped out of high school, I lost my friends and family and it didn’t matter to me. All I wanted was that next high, that next orgasm. In every town across this great nation, I sought it.
Thankfully, my blessed mother risked her life to save me. She went “undercover” as it were and began following the cult, pretending to be a convert until she found me and brought me home. Home to my family and home to Christ.
It’s been 10 years and I still sometimes struggle, but I find strength in Jesus and I know He will guide me through the tough times.
Praise to you Mr. Billings. You are truly doing God’s work
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6:37 pm
I am humbled by your bravery little lady in coming here today to share you story. Bless you and be happy!
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1
1:08 pm
This Guitar is gonna FUCK YOUR FACE Tyson Bowers and your wifes face too> your a noob. Sound like you bought fake Molly and now your mad. THIS IS BIGGER THAN YOU AND WILL NEVER COME CLOSE TO SLOWING US DOWN.
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0
1:13 pm
Thumbs up. Would read again.
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0
1:15 pm
Get a life bible beaters…….. PT will always win! So will “The Phish”. See you in hell!
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3
1:18 pm
what gutter did you people crawl out off to believe this shit. Keep you religious fanticism to your selves. Masturbation???? Really???
” Just as the blind imagine
what it is to have sight”
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2
1:20 pm
this is one of the funniest articles I’ve seen on the web -the Onion should be hiring this author!
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2 
0
1:26 pm
This is satire, right? It has to be. Nobody can be this read-Icculus and mean it. Unless they’re a complete tool. Seriously, comparing Phish to Manson and Jones? People masturbating all over the place? Really? What a joke!
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1:28 pm
This article is a crock of shit and completely untrue. While yes, the majority of Phish (not The Phish – get it right author) enjoy getting a little off-center by smoking cannabis or imbibing alcohol – no one is there to touch or harm you. Phish fans and concerts are all about free open-minded people who come together for a few hours and listen to them play. Any Christian who believes this moron deserves to be tossed on an island and left stranded.
Ps, Jesus was a pot smoking hippy — just look at the guy! Sandals, long hair and beard, advocated peace, etc. I’m sure Jesus himself smoked a fatty back in the day. I would love to meet the real Jesus Christ – not a bunch of God fearing asshole Christians who know nothing other than what they are spoon fed.
Long live Phish!
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1
1:28 pm
Wow this is hilarious. Thanks for the laughs. You should consider writing for the Onion.
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2 
0
1:30 pm
I’m impressed with the amount of work that went into this, especially considering the irrelevance of jam bands in 2011.
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1 
1
1:47 pm
This article is satire. Hats off to Billings – very convincing!
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0
1:55 pm
obviously a joke, duh. the fact that fans actually believe this is concerning.
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1:56 pm
This article is halarious! This retard must have got his facts from the bible.
And he linked his facebook page http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001366922231
Time to do some “Phishing”
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2 
1
1:57 pm
You call yourself a journalist? Shame on you. There are too many inaccuracies in this article to count. Oh yeah, and WSPSUX!!
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3 
1
1:58 pm
Are Christians so boring that you have to try and make every ones lives so miserable? It’s bad to listen to non commercial music, but it’s okay to molest children? not okay, just looked past. I don’t like phish, but you cranky old farts who are so narrow minded and absolutely pathetic have nothing better to do than try and control what people do. If “GOD” loved all his children then he would shove an inverted cross down your self righteous one way thinking throat and tell you to mind your own business.
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1 
1
2:02 pm
KYS you noobs
WSP sux
lolbisco
whos got my ice cold fatty??
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3 
0
2:03 pm
“The Phish” LOL. Stupid.
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1 
1
2:04 pm
Lots of questions….
If all phish heads are chronic masturbating, drug using, devil worshiping individuals, then by this logic, are all priests and ministers pickle kissing boy touchers?
Please tell me what music you listen to.
If you could ever convince a woman to birth something with you, and the kid says hes a phish fan, whats your move?
Would love some feedback here.
WSP sucks.
PT, you made my day.
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6:41 pm
I think Dolly Parton is underappreciated if you want to know the truth.
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9:07 pm
Notice how Stevie didn’t refute that priests and ministers are nothin’ but a pack of pedophiles.
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2:10 pm
The Christmas Without Weed (CWOW) > Simple from Hampton is sick! Also recommend the Marijuana > Twist > Marijuana > Carini > Marijuana from 10/14/05, and the Caspian > Cocaine Jam from Red Rocks.
BTW, for anyone who thinks this is a legit article, I have a small island I’d like to sell you. Please contact me ASAP! Dummies.
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2:16 pm
So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. (Ephesians 4:25)
If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. (1 John 4:20)
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2:21 pm
A bold and thorough explanation of this unconscionable pit of sin and perpetual threat to America’s God-given greatness. I have it on good authority that, since The Phish’s “reunion,” some fans (no doubt at the direction of the trust-fund elites) have been sacrificing stolen infants in the “lots” outside of the “shows” in hopes of appeasing their disgusting false god “Icculus” and thereby ensuring the longevity of this shameful decadence through many years to come.
I would love to see Glenn Beck take an in-depth look at this “band” on his program…if any other right-thinking True Christian American Patriot could stand to do such a thing. Thanks for stomaching it…maybe this will save some souls!!
-John 7:22-23
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2:23 pm
This guy is trying out for a job at The Onion.
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2:24 pm
the guy is obviously a phan.
lighten up, francis.
this place reeks of n00b.
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2:25 pm
Is this article/website for real? I have a feeling this is like a Bible Belt version of the Onion…… I friggin hope so anyways
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2:33 pm
i don’t know which is more disturbing:
the time i got got ass-raped my a dreadlock at a concert by the phish
or
the idiot phish fans who think this is not satire.
take the balloon out of your hand and smell the patchouli.
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2:34 pm
I’m a Christian and Phish is my favorite band. This article is so absurd that I don’t think it could even be invented if it did not exist. There is no room in Christianity for making up slanderous lies, so please stop misrepresenting the gospel of love. It’s offensive. Or at the very least, do your homework instead of lying.
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2:35 pm
I’m a Christian and Phish is my favorite band. This article is so absurd that I don’t think it could even be invented if it did not exist. There is no room in Christianity for making up slanderous lies and casting judgment on others, so please stop misrepresenting the gospel of love. It’s offensive. Or at the very least, do your homework instead of lying.
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2:39 pm
I’m a Christian and Phish is my favorite band. This article is so absurd that I don’t think it could even be invented if it did not exist. There is no room in Christianity for making up slanderous lies and casting judgment on others, so please stop misrepresenting the gospel of love. It’s offensive. Or at the very least, do your homework instead of lying.
I’m still not convinced this article isn’t a joke.
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2:39 pm
ummm, I personally and not a Phish Phan maybe because I have just never heard their music. I know I know, how can that be right? If anything this article makes me want to finally hear some of their music to see what all the fuss is about! Who knows, you might have created a new Phan here and if so I will have to thank you for that!
Oh, a side note, my brother-in-law and sister-in-law used to live next door to one of the band members and now I am worried that they may have been permanently affected by this sordid person! (NOT) lol.
This article represents paranoia and insanity at its best!!
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2:45 pm
If you can’t see that this is satirical you are a moron…. this is hillarious. It’s like people who think Stephen Colbert is a conservative….. grow a sense of humor and sharpen your wits.
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2:45 pm
where were the sex parties…i have been to 150+ shows. i would love to see the chicks whoring them selves out…
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2:47 pm
I’m a Christian and Phish is my favorite band. This article is so absurd that I don’t think it could even be invented if it did not exist. There is no room in Christianity for making up slanderous lies and casting judgment on others, so please stop misrepresenting the gospel. It’s offensive. Or at the very least, do your homework instead of lying.
I’m still not convinced this article isn’t a joke.
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2:53 pm
I think Id like to give Phish legal my full support on the class action suit!
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2:55 pm
You people are idiots. First, the band is just “Phish” not “The Phish” and second, if you truly espouse the values of Christ you would recognize the Christianity in peace and love and amazing virtuosity in music that this band brings to every community they visit. Shame on you pharisees and zealots who condemn the works of the Lord through Phish!!!!
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3:33 pm
The only idiots are people like you who think this article is real. I can’t believe how many imbeciles are falling for this. I thought Phish fans were somewhat bright.
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3:10 pm
Wow! just wow, I am also a Christian who loves Phish and this article has to be a complete joke cause nothing in it could be farther from the truth. I agree with timber ho that there is no room in Christianity for slanderous lies. This is article is nothing but slanderous lies. I would say Phish’s average concert goer is probably mid thirties with a successful career (like myself and every single friend I have that goes to shows with me).
Personally, I am just gonna write this article off as someone who wrote it as a joke cause it contains way to much misinformation to be taken seriously.
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3:14 pm
1. Is that chick showing her nether-region in that headline pic, bottom right.
2. “communism, cybercrime and drug culture”, Man that takes me back… good times
3. “The band pays for tanks of hospital nitrous oxide to be wheeled out so that the hordes of regulars struggling with their symptoms of withdrawal can be managed. ” WHAT!?!? When did they start doing that? Man, I need to go to one of those shows.
Also, the article fails to mention their egregious use of augmented 9th chords.
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3:15 pm
Just Say moe.
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3:16 pm
Just Say moe.!
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3:17 pm
i have never been able to masturbate at phish… am i missing something??? why was i never at those shows?!?!
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3:23 pm
whoever wrote this article should be sued for libel.
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3:27 pm
Frankly speaking, this is the most ridiculous article I have ever read. I don’t even want to dignify this article by explaining the ways in which is is 99% inaccurate. So, I’l just say, don’t believe a WORD of this.
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3:32 pm
I wonder if God likes people who steal intellectual property…like say photos that this writer has no approval to use.
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3:37 pm
I been had! LOLZ
WSP SUX!!!
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3:37 pm
This whole site is tongue in cheek folks. Just a parody!!! Hilarious too!
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3:39 pm
One time at a Phish show I sold my anal virginity for a garlic grilled cheese.
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3:39 pm
I mean if this was satire it is pretty funny. But stephen billings and his facebook page say otherwise.
dude seems pretty serious right? I mean it all could be a joke though like the Onion b/c there is no way that any of this is true or even could be derived from any true information. but again SB seems pretty serious
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5:09 pm
You guys are all morons. This guy is a genius, bravo! I would also recommend the ‘Tiger is Cured of Whores’ and ‘How to Sport a Masturbator’ articles. Gold Jerry, GOLD!
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3:40 pm
Agreeably, it is very derogatory of you to tell people that everyone who likes phish is a pot smoking hippie. I am under the age of 18, never smoked, don’t drink and I’ve been to four phish shows. God is my only judge.
Ps. You aren’t certified in anything other than being crazy
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3:40 pm
Hey, I take exception … the blunts are certainly NOT poorly rolled.
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3:40 pm
People, people, just look at the titles of some of these articles. The amount of people falling for this as a legit article is mind-boggling. WTF is wrong with you? Do any of you read sites like the Onion? Come on! This shit is hilarious:
The Golden Girls: How One TV Show Turned A Generation Of American Boys Into Homosexuals
I Am Extremely Terrified Of Chinese People
Vajazzling, The Newest Threat To Your College Son
How To Spot A Masturbator
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3:44 pm
You know another thing that “flies in the face of traditional consumerism?” Christianity. If you want to change that to “traditional capitalism”, that’d be better, though still pretty tenuous. Unbridled consumerism is neither good, nor particularly Christian. Personally I file the unbridled desire for money and material possessions under “F” for “false idol”, but that’s just me. Maybe I’m reading my Bible wrong.
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3:45 pm
you christians are fucked up motherfuckers. open your eyes. dumbass
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3:48 pm
funny!
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3:50 pm
i’d like the subscribe to your newsletter
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3:50 pm
This has to be one of the funniest things I have ever read. This is a JOKE, right?
Terror and orgasm? How dare you sir. Jesus would wash your mouth out for such slanderous abuse.
Also Jesus was married to Mary Magdalene and had a baby with her and they moved to France and married into the Merovingian royal line. They had orgies to imitate the beautiful conception between god and Mary mother of Jesus.
Please don’t let “THE PHISH” ruin your mind. HAHAHAHA
Ohh and Widespread Panic doesn’t suck. Although they aren’t nearly as good as THE PHISH.
Ok I need to go listen to my Hampton shows now so that I can get my daily fix of Orgyistic ear drugs.
Will someone save me?
Ohh and Neo-Con John Birchers can kiss my ass. Just sayin.
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6:49 pm
Isn’t that from the DaVinci Code? It’s all a pack of lies, by the way.
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8:11 pm
No, you idiot, it is not a pack of lies. It’s called a movie. IT’S NOT REAL. It’s meant to be entertaining. If this is where and how you discern you spiritual beliefs, then I can fully understand the obscurity of this “article”.
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9:09 pm
You don’t understand the difference between reality and fantasy, and yet you insist that everyone else can not.
Stevie, the men in white coats want to talk to you, they say they can take you straight to God and they know what he looks like.
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3:52 pm
Tounge Punch My Fart Box!
Phish Rules.
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3:54 pm
Horrible article. If you really want to keep kids away from Phish you should just make them listen to Phish’s new album Joy. That will turn any potential fan away. The only truth to this article is that Phish sucks, oh and Mike Gordon likes little boys, fact.
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3:55 pm
I am positively shocked at this article because I have been to nearly 30 Phish shows and have never seen this “mass masturbation” that you speak of. I wish that I could find it because I LOVE to touch myself, like so many Phish fans.
Honestly, I was terrified as I read this article until I realized something: God is “dog” spelled backwards, and dogs hate figs. If you think that doesn’t make sense, maybe you should re-read this article because it makes absolutely zero sense.
Do you guys honestly believe that if these things were going on (as falsely claimed here) that the authorities in this country would allow this to go on? They wouldn’t. Do people drugs at the shows? Of course. People from ALL walks of life do drugs.
The problem with your organization is that is not at all based in fact, only in falsehoods and you all think you are so self-righteous that you can’t allow others to live as they wish and THAT is a sin. It is quite clear to ANYONE who reads this outside of your own circle that your group is so insecure that they must try to diminish things that they don’t understand with blatant lies.
I feel sorry for you all–but only because you are truly missing out on all the wonderful bliss that life has to offer.
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4:16 pm
This was one of the best articles I have read on The Phish in a long time. I heard a story about a young The Phish convert named Jim and I just couldn’t believe it!
His name was Jim, took all of my old clothes with him. He was twelve years old when his trip began, hauling down the highway in my old sedan.
Now I wish someone tell me where old Jim went,’Cause he took all the money that I saved for rent. By the time he came home he was seventeen. That’s a hundred nineteen to you and me. Now I’m gonna go up to the mountain. Singing for Jim who’s swimming in the fountain.
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4:26 pm
Your “article” is riddled with inaccuracies and fanatical editorializing; this is not freedom of speech, it is blatant slander. There’s a reason news organizations have fact-checking departments and yours clearly need to be fired. You have no sources, you can’t back up any of your claims and nearly all of them are 100% false, relying solely on ignorant presumption.
For the record I don’t personally like Phish’s music and was raised in a Christian home. Christians – true followers of the teachings of Christ – would never fabricate such fantasy as means to an end. Did Jesus? Your hypocrisy reflects poorly on all people of faith.
Is there drug use at Phish concerts? Sure, by ticket-buyers. You know where else I’ve seen drug use? CHRISTIAN MUSIC CONCERTS AND FESTIVALS. Again, by attendees. I’m sure in this case you would argue that the promoters can’t be held accountable for what the attendees smuggle into the show. So why the double-standard?
If you expect respect you must first give it. Stop embarrassing yourself. It’s SO far-fetched it almost seems like a joke. No one can truly be this detached from reality…
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4:27 pm
You are absolutely right. If I were to actually like that article, I would also like “Gay Liberal Scientists Force Monkey to Kiss a Cat”
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4:29 pm
Where is this “plentiful supply of supple young women”? I’ve certainly never encountered anything better than a 5:1 ratio at a Phish show.
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6:52 pm
As I noted in my article, the supple young women are made available to the trust fund hippie elite. Are you part of that crowd? If not, it would not be something you’d encounter.
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2:22 pm
I have seen “The Phish” over 30 times and I have no idea what you are talking about. Again, I am convinced this is a joke website (clearly, with all the christ crap on it), this ‘writer’ dude is just sitting back and laughing at people thinking he wrote this with any level of honesty. Is anyone else here afraid of people like that. Commies, masturbation and terrifying hippie dancing!! Yeah, that’s what we see when my wife, 2 kids and I go to the shows!
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4:30 pm
The author of this has to be a psycho. I have been to almost a hundred shows and have never witnessed any of this. Maybe these good people that are against phish so much should take a good look at their judgmental selves and realize they are the reason why their kids are turning to drugs. This bullshit is completely false.
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4:35 pm
I am glad the truth of THE PHISH is finally coming to press. I have helped revive so many lost souls from the grip of the Devil you would have no idea how many. They speak in tongues. This is a very religious, brainwashed, mind control organization and the NWO did put a halt on them for several years until a new plan of attack could be deleivered. We are currently having THE PHISH concerts throughout the usa as a last resort attempt to trying to get as many of the drug users, child molestors , pediphiles and non Christians in jail where they belong. It is difficult to imagine the damage this cult has caused to so many good Christian families in America. I understand 2 of the members are Jews and it wasn’t enough that they killed Jesus but now they want to kill our children. As they cry blood libel what do we cry? Please for the Lover of GOD Jesus Christ our savior, who died on the cross for our sins and so that we would be forgiven and not go to hell bu tto enjoy an everylasting life in heaven with Jesus Father God, Lord be with us as we struggle to escape the wrath and stranglehold of these evil Jews who are stealing our youth of this country. I am willing to help spread the word of our GOD. Thank you so much for EDUCATING those who did not know that THE PHISH was an evil empire worse than even Nazi Hitler himself! Please also target the Further Festival with Phil Lesh and Bob Weir who should not be pretending to be the Grateful Dead without the prophet Jermone Garcia!!!!!! This is almost as disturbing as THE PHISH CULT!
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6:55 pm
Speak it brother!
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11:15 pm
“…and non-Christians in jail as possible.”
I don’t see any connection as to why a non-christian need be in jail… We don’t believe the same as you and that equals jail how? Some of the ignorance that has come from this article amazes me. Get your facts together. Cite your references. Learn to think for yourself. Come together man.
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4:37 pm
Thanks for the informative article Mr. Billings! I will assume that everything you’ve written is 100% accurate and not the product of irrational fear or paranoia. All we need now is an article on the Grateful Dead – they started this whole mess! If it wasn’t for them we wouldn’t have to worry about the painful patchouli sex parties and reckless masturbation that’s destroying our precious, innocent youth. Oh, Mr. Billings, I wish you could raise all of our children for us!
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4:41 pm
This is one of the funniest articles i have ever read. Who is anybody to judge what makes them happy?? Its not very christian like. Some people go to church to get there kicks, some people go to whorehouses, some people drink, and some people go to concerts. This article has so many flaws its crazy. The lyrics to prince caspian is “sowing seed and chaffing wheat”. If your gonna criticize someone at least know what your talking about. Marijuana is not a phish song. Phish is what music is all about, not Brittany spears teaching young girls to be whores. People will always do what they wont, and its getting that time when people leave god and religion out of everything. To each his own. Stop hating on what makes people happy.
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4:47 pm
Kon likes drugs!
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4:48 pm
This is the most slanderous article I have ever read. The band has never endorsed any type of drug use, and has made statements that they do not want a following like the Grateful Dead. This is one reason they stopped playing for years. Yeah, some people do take drugs, but in no way can you universalize the actions of certain individuals. Sorry if you don’t appreciate the music. I can’t stand Christian rock music but I don’t write articles claiming they are trying to take over the world, which would clearly be much more accurate and a position one could defend based on facts not irrational accusations. It seems more your disadvantage to not have an open enough mind to appreciate music for the art that it is regardless of your personal preferences. Excellent job at exhibiting to a large group exactly how ignorant and unimportant you are. This really portrays the ‘accepting and loving’ characteristics you people claim to demonstrate.
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4:50 pm
Father please play with my testicles
http://stephensonbillings.wordpress.com/
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/profile.php?id=100001366922231
Just checked the authors facebook page
He likes little boys
He likes Charlton Heston, So he likes guns
He likes George Bush and Stephen Baldwin
And Clowns!!!!
“Special Leader of Christian Camping Trips for Hearty Teens!”
I would not trust you with my kids.
Dude you fit the profile of a child predator and
a nut case christian Extremist
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4:52 pm
article: genius funny. (poorly rolled blunts anyone?)
outraged reaction: pretty disturbing. (Maybe a lot of you SHOULD cut back a little, your ability to discern intention seems to have been, uh, reduced.)
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5:53 pm
I’ve actually read a sincere article like this about Nirvana, that basically said Kurt Cobain was in cahoots with Satan or something like that. So this article isn’t actually as implausible as some of the others on the website. The only way I could tell with this article is because it was much funnier than it would’ve been if written in earnest. Like he calls the them “The Phish” and puts quotes around normal phrases like “on tour” and stuff.
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4:52 pm
I went to my first The Phish show in 1995 when The Phish were really starting to experiment with mind control. The band used to have this secret language that they were teaching people back then so that us elders could go out and spread the word.
I remember seeing them that night at Hampton Coliseum and quickly turning some of my other friends on to The Phish. We immediately bought tickets to see The Phish at the Spectrum in Philly. We drove from Virginia Beach in my 1979 puke green VW Camper Van, which I now realize was nothing more than communication device that the band made me purchase in order to bring more people to the shows. When we rode in the van we would get messages from The Phish in songs like Esther, which is a song about sacrificing wookie women for the betterment of the Council of Nine Elders, which is the Secret group behind The Phish.
I am coming clean today and I am going to tell you who the Council of Nine Elders are:
1. The Dude of Life
2. Ninja Custodian
3. Mr. Miner
4. Chris Kuroda
5. John Paluska
6. Brad Sands
7. Paul Languedoc
8. Wilson
9. Tom Marshall
I hope that by my telling this short story other The Phish fans will make a change in their life. I really hate to see so many people devoting their life to the Phish who consist of Ray Antipasta, Spike Mordan, Mage Ponnel and Transexual Shaun Pissman.
Thank you Mr. Billings for giving us an outlet to voice our concerns and wishes for our youth.
God Bless all of you.
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5:03 pm
I hope the local and state and federal agencies are aware of this guy.
Definitely something is off with him
Get a bad feeling he is a child molester/serial killer
Maybe he should be reported to his local authorities
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5:05 pm
who ever wrote this dribble rubbish obviously wasn’t at Festival8 where “the phish” proved that they are in fact spreading the gospel to the misguided yout’s of this nation:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0W1x-3aGwco
Can i get a witness? stand up and be counted!
They are a christian rock band moron! bigger than shinedown and better than creed!
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5:06 pm
This is the most slanderous article I have ever read, which to educated readers immediately dismisses any accuracy of your accounts. Just in case you didn’t know, it is highly illegal to claim and speak badly of any individual or institution as facts that are merely your opinions. I’m not sure where you did your research, but it clearly was not within any real credited resources. Phish has never endoresed ‘implicitly’ drug use, and never buys drugs for fans? Are you kidding? The band actually stopped touring a couple years ago because they felt their concerts had become more about hanging out, and as you say using ‘drugs,’ than about their music. Simply because some people choose to engage in drug activity does not at all mean that can be universalized to all fans. I personally do not use or drink and love Phish. I also know that I’m not the only one. I realize it might be hard for some people to understand the possiblity of being comfortable enough to talk and have fun with strangers, especially for people so close minded and brain washed, but it exists and its much more real than any church I have ever been to. You can hide behind your bible and point fingers at everyone else, but it seems you are compromising the virtue of your own beliefs. Who makes you above everyone else? I’m pretty sure no one or no God does, at least the Christian God says do the exact opposite. It appears you feel threatened by any group that is growing and has no affiliation with the church. One more attempt to keep your customers coming back, ruling by fear, awesome promotion. Let people live their lives, focus on your own and your failing relationship with God. You might want to go ahead and get a good attorney.
Thanks for enforcing the stereotypes I have about Christians. I battle with them daily, but it continues to get harder when all the crazy people make speak their minds so publicly.
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6:59 pm
Please don’t threaten me and my family. I find it just wrong.
And this country would be nothing without our Freedom of Speech. It saddens me you have so little respect for that.
God bless and be well my young friend.
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7:56 pm
Stephenson Billings + alcoholic mother ≠ family
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9:06 pm
Yet you want to take away everyone else’s Freedom of Speech by telling them that they don’t deserve a voice.
Stay hypocritical Stevie, every sentence you type up just sends you one step closer to Hell.
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5:17 pm
It is true.
I was born in a pool of God’s vomit.
I heardeth His word, and His word was “Sorry.”
He then laideth down some sawdust.
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5:22 pm
This can’t be real. No one is that stupid.
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5:26 pm
Not all god’s people are good
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Christian_evangelist_scandals
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5:28 pm
Dentists are the ones who abuse Nitrous Oxide far more than Phish fans. (and I mean personal use, NOT abusing patients with it) And since when do you use a crack pipe to “do cocaine”? If you actually researched your subject matter you would find out that the members of Phish and their lyricist Tom Marshall write about personal experiences like Tom’s wife having a baby et cetera. I am a Christian and I hate it when idiots try and blame all the evils in the world on music. And when the “God-fearing” leaders of the world are having sex with children, having affairs, using drugs, are alcoholics, beat their wives, cheat the government, etc, what message does THAT send about Christianity????
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5:34 pm
Dear Billingsly,
Thank you for enlightening so many people to the horrors Phish brings the world. You forgot a few things though that I think may sway more good people into the light:
-They are part of a secret society founded by a Charles Darwin worship cult whose goal is to disseminate the crazy idea that the earth is a little more than six thousand years old, man evolved from primate and didn’t walk with Dinosaurs despite how obvious it is we did!
-Two of the band, I don’t know which, where questioned and suspected of being the 19th and 20th hijcackers that fateful day, 9/11/2001.
-They hypnotize the masses with a sonic neuro emission mind control device developed by the Nazis but later refined by the Reds. It’s in all of their instruments.
-They went to a Liberal Arts College!
-Trey is actually a witch from the 18th century that survived several witch hunts and through dark sorcery has lived this to gain the ear of President Obama. They talk regularly! In fact he oversaw Obama’s birth back in Kenya and cast a evil spell of protection over him.
-They believe the earth is round… ROUND! The lunacy!!!
-They believe they can fly. The believe they can tough the sky. They think about it every night and day. They spread their wings and fly away!
I hope this information helps in your quest to become a level 13 paladin of the militia of Christ. Hopefully you have a +2 attack iron keyboard and a +5 magical touch protected cape, preferably with an automatic cancellation of all meta-hippie cast spells.
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5:50 pm
this is an onion article, right??
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6:02 pm
This is the most outlandish thing I have ever read in my life. I don’t know where you get your facts but obviously you have never been to any Phish shows. I have seen them a lot and I have never been promised anything let alone drugs or sex. What the crowd does or doesn’t do has nothing to do with the band. It is articles like this that really make me hate christians. Believe it or not God doesn’t really care what kind of music I listen to but God does care about honesty and this article is the biggest fabrication of lies I think I have ever read.
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6:03 pm
’96 Phish and some LSD is the closest anyone ever came to god. Learn some respect and go thump your bibles in private.
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6:03 pm
First, the band is “Phish.” Do your research before posting such a brazen attack on an extremely successful band. Comparing them to Manson is the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard, being that no member of Phish has ever coerced people into murder. That’s just a minor detail. Furthermore using Britney Spears as an example for ANYTHING is the second most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Do you know she’s been in rehab? Do you know she held, in her arms, her infant child?
Drugs are an unfortunate part of this world. It is up to PARENTS to guide their children and let the children act on their own. Saying that Phish is responsible for kids’ drug use is the third most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. “Phish” has never said anything about drug use on stage. THey’ve never said they were on anything, they’ve never said TO do anything….EVER!!!
Do your research.
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6:58 pm
I never said I supported Britney Spears. In fact, I find her intensely offensive. I merely used her as an example of what other successful performers did with their celebrity. They did not feel the need to jump in their tour buses and prowl urban streets for the lost and confused. I certainly find that creepy!
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9:15 pm
//I never said I supported Britney Spears. In fact, I find her intensely offensive. I merely used her as an example of what other successful performers did with their celebrity. They did not feel the need to jump in their tour buses and prowl urban streets for the lost and confused. I certainly find that creepy!//
You didn’t ever catch the news on her then, did you? She got into drugs (had to go to rehab at least once several years ago), she went completely bat shit insane and shaved her head completely bald, she had issues with her children and child services, and she was getting married and divorcing guys several times in a short period of time.
Not only that, you don’t know what the band does period, quite literally. You make the accusation that they prowl and pick up the ‘lost and confused’ (which would be what exactly?) without any evidence whatsoever, and whatever evidence you DO present is completely made up and nothing but a pack of lies.
Dignity Stevie, try to get some.
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6:05 pm
Have I just gone blind from all those drugs that have been injected into me by the band members? I did not see one true Biblical reference in this article. Not to mention, with all the terminology that has been used (aside from “The Phish”,) methinks someone else has spent a few hours on lot himself….
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7:02 pm
“By their fruits you will know them. Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles? Just so, every good tree bears good fruit, and a rotten tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a rotten tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire. So by their fruits you will know them.” –Matthew 7: 16-20.
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9:41 pm
“You should be ashamed of yourself making false threats to intimidate my freedom of speech. Your hippies are so willing to embrace the Bill of Rights when it gives you the opportunity to spout off about marijuana and William Randolf Hearst, yet once someone starts reading from the Bible you demand he be silenced. For shame.. You know so little of the greatest traditions that this nation is founded upon.”
A little belated don’t you think? You weren’t reading from the bible in your article. You were spouting your inaccurate assumptions and trying to fill in the blanks for folks trapped in your dogmatic beliefs to eliminate their chance of developing any opinions of their own.
Blessed be, my extremely sad little man…
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1:53 am
My hands are in the air
My head bowed in prayer
witness to the unwashed, Sister!
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6:06 pm
too long didn’t read
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6:07 pm
Thank you for writing this. This article made me very scared. I immediately was moved to destroy any Phish albums My Family owned. Unfortunately as law abiding Americans and Christians we do not own any Phish albums. I promptly went to the local store and bought some. As soon as I got home I immediately threw the cd and case in the fire. The Case burned not like wood, but had the unholy black smell and nauseating fumes that you would expect of the devil. I am pretty sure That in the smoke I saw a demons face too.
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6:07 pm
It’s satire, people. Don’t get yr corduroys in a bunch.
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6:08 pm
PS. We can write false defamation articles about CHRISTWIRE as well. Your website will never see the end of this.
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6:09 pm
Please help me too. I am 30 years old and have been a slave to the PHISH for at least 15 years. should I go to rehab?
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6:12 pm
i didnt know the Onion bought Christwire what did it cost 30 pieces of silver? this article is HILARIOUS
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6:45 pm
brilliant. utterly brilliant.
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6:46 pm
If you masturbate you will get hair on your palms… I’m just sayin…
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6:56 pm
Anyone who replies to this article (like me right now) is paying for this article, right? I see a shit ton of ads on this site which leads me to believe that he makes his money off hits. I could be wrong but there are an awful lot of replies here.
Does this opinion actually matter anyway?
does mine?
Stop reading this bullshit and go do something more constructive like not paying hacks for their propagandist fodder.
Note: I just wasted 30 minutes of my life
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7:00 pm
Now I know who to picture when I sing “Wilson.”
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7:01 pm
OK, I read the whole thing and I’m convinced that you’re just trolling. If you are actually this ignorant then I fear for the future of humanity.
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7:16 pm
I think this article screams of what the church is really all about. This is filled with sex and lies I think before you talk about an amazing band you should all check yourself and practice what you preach. You speak about sex and little boys because i think that is what the church is obsessed with these days. This is why people are afraid of religion I can see here that freedom of speech is alive and well. If i was the writer of this article I would be ashamed of myself. Get a real job and maybe you might get professional and get published in a real magazine you looser. GOD BLESS YOUR SOUL>>> LONG LIVE PHISH
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7:33 pm
“Thou shall not bear false witness on your neighbor.”
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7:50 pm
whoever published this truly needs to get a life as a follower christ if yall are worried about this yall arent saved.. get a life and quit CONDEMING PEOPLE
YALL ARENT LIVING TE GOSPEL OUT i bet yall got articles on christian hip hop is wrong… yall need to HAVE A REAL RELATIONSHIP with Jesus cuz he wouldnt tell u do say god hates fags and all that… yall give christians a real bad name you people
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8:06 pm
Funniest shit I’ve ever read.
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8:26 pm
HEY EVERYONE – CALM DOWN!!!!!
If you can’t recognize that this article is completely amazing satire, then you might be a little bit retarded. We all know that there are crazy religious fanatics out there, but those people don’t write articles like this. Despite its (deliberate) inaccuracies, the article is very well-written, and it is hysterically funny. This is probably the best article I’ve ever read about my favorite band!
What is amazing is how many people are fooled by this. Apparently even Phish believes this is a genuine article written by some delusional whack-job. Law suit threats in the comments section? Jeez, calm down Phish Legal!
“Stephenson Billings” is some dude’s alter-ego. He might even be a fan of “The Phish”.
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6:59 pm
Wow, how do you know this? Are you a friend of mine? It’s all too absurd. I am a man, I am of flesh. I am not some hippie pipe dream.
http://stephensonbillings.wordpress.com/about-mr-billings/
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8:34 pm
One question – what kind of music does the author listens to ?
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8:39 pm
This site is awesome, you guys kick The Onion’s ass.
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8:47 pm
“There are ballads with titles that celebrate narcotic experimentation such as, “Marijuana” and “Christmas Without Weed.”
There are no songs with these titles. I have been seeing Phish…not “The Phish” for the past 19 years. I own a small tutoring business that provides for my family. My wife stays at home to raise our kids. We have two boys, 4 and 6. We happen to love live music. It is art. Seeing Phish is akin to watching Picasso paint. That is why I still see them. I know that I am witnessing creation at its birthplace. Nothing quite so inspiring other than the birth of my children. The point is this, of course there are drugs. Just as drugs are pervasive in society in general, they are available when seeing Phish. I for one do not use drugs. I have in the past and evolved past this experimentation period. For me, the music is so amazing that drugs simply interfere in the process. So back off of “The Phish” and understand that these are men with families trying to make a living doing what GOD gave to them, a real musical talent that affords them the opportunity to spread joy to millions of fans.
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8:56 pm
Wow. Just wow. If anyone wants to contact the owner of this site, you can do so and let him know what you think about his well-researched and considerate prose (sorry, did I get some sarcasm on you?) by using the public information associated with his website available on EasyWhoIs.com Just in case you don’t feel like looking it up, God has asked that I provide it for you here:
Admin Street2:15111 N. Hayden Rd., Ste 160, PMB 353
Admin Street3:
Admin City:Scottsdale
Admin State/Province:Arizona
Admin Postal Code:85260
Admin Country:US
Admin Phone:+1.4806242599
Admin Phone Ext.:
Admin FAX:+1.4806242598
Admin FAX Ext.:
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8:58 pm
“By their fruits you will know them. Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles? Just so, every good tree bears good fruit, and a rotten tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a rotten tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire. So by their fruits you will know them.” –Matthew 7: 16-20.
You sir, live in a sad world of black and white. What is it like to never see nuance in any situation?
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9:01 pm
Its about the MUSIC
This article is def fake, no christian can behave like this, Blasphemy
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9:31 pm
This is funny! Nice work. I like your humor.
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9:35 pm
Can you help me? I was led into this cult several years ago by some so-called “friends”. They took me to a concert and made me smoke some very strong marijuana. Then they began feeding me this white powder, I think they called it Mandy? Next thing I knew I was backstage and the drummer was touching me in places he shouldn’t have, while the bassist was asking me if I had any younger brothers. They got me hooked on the pot and now I can’t stop this awful lifestyle. Can you help?
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9:51 pm
You idiot, Trey IS Jesus.
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10:26 pm
I’m all about a class action suit against this hell bound motherfucker.
“Let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence”
-So can your daughter be my wife so I can fuck her face all day and all night? Or in the ass? I mean thats legit right? If we’re married I can tell her to do whatever I want. She’d be my slave if we were wed in the church, right? You won’t admit it, but I know you know what I’m talking about you little man.
You are a scared little homo. I feel bad for you and people who actually believe anything you or anyone on this site says.
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7:00 pm
Please wear appropriate clothing when you arrive in court.
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10:48 pm
SAVE YOUR LIFE! READ THE FUCKING BOOK! READ IT! READ THE BOOK! SAVE YOUR FUCKING LIFE. READ THE DAMNED BOOK ALREADY! READ IT! SAVE YOUR LIFE. WHILE YOU STILL CAN. IT’S NOT TOO LATE TO JUST READ THE FUCKING BOOK! PUT DOWN YOUR IPHONES AND VIDEO PLAYERS AND JUST FUCKING PICK UP THE BOOK! AND READ IT! COVER TO COVER! READ THE FUCKING BOOK. SAVE-YOUR-LIFE! SAVE IT!
sTOP WATING YOUR TIME AND JUST READ THE FUCKING BOOK ALREADY! READ THE BOOK. SAVE YOUR LIFE. WE’VE GOT IT SOMPLE – BECAUSE WE READ THE FUCKING BOOK DAILY. READ THE FUCKING BOOK. YOU ARE WASTING TIME. GO READ THE FUCKING BOOK! SAVE YOUR LIFE! SAVE IT. SAVE IT GOOD. READ-THE-FUCKING BOOK ALREADY!
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10:49 pm
While there may be some things that is said here that are true; I would say as a Christian writer, don’t you think that you should be writing about the Reckoning that’s occurring now instead? The shores are filling with dead fish, the birds are falling from the sky, and the Earth is quaking, with floods and all kinds of other disasters. I would be more worried about these things rather than some musical group that is playing! You need guns, ammunition, food, water, and gasoline right now; not rhetoric about the evils of rock and roll right now! When the rapture comes YOU will be left behind!
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11:06 pm
People…pull your head off the goddamn tanks long enough to recognize a JOKE when you see one. This “expose”is hilarious. The supercilious “wooks” and righteous “noobs” taking offense are just clueless. Remember when your average Phish kid was, as Garrison Keillor might say, “Above Average?”
Well played, Billings. I just have one question for the fatuous flotsam:
“When was the last time one of you PICKED UP A FUCKING BOOK?!”
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11:09 pm
Oh Daniel saw the stone that was hewed out the mountain
Daniel saw the stone that came rolling through Babylon
Daniel saw the stone that was hewed out the mountain
Coming down to redeem a mighty world
[repeat above 4 lines]
Well, meet me, Jesus, meet me
Meet me in the middle of the air
‘Cause now if these wings should fail me
Lord, I want to hitch on another pair
Oh Jesus was the stone that was hewed out the mountain
Jesus was the stone that came rolling through Babylon
Jesus was the stone that was hewed out the mountain
Coming down to redeem a mighty world
[repeat above 4 lines]
Oh, well the tree it was bending
Up in the heavenly land
Well, my God spoke unto the Holy Ghost
He said, “Come on and let’s make man”
I’m looking for the stone that was hewed out the mountain
I’m looking for the stone that came rolling through Babylon
I’m looking for the stone that was hewed out the mountain
Coming down to redeem a mighty world
[repeat above 4 lines]
Well, now, early in the morning the trumpet’s gonna sound
The dead and Christ is gonna rise
Well, if you ain’t got good religion
Lord, then hell you’ll open your eyes
I found that stone that was hewed out the mountain
I found the stone that came rolling through Babylon
I found the stone that was hewed out the mountain
Coming down to redeem a mighty world
[repeat above 4 lines]
The main difference between this version and Phish’s version is that Phish only uses the first verse cited here (“meet me, Jesus, meet me”). The other verse that Trey sings (the only other verse) is this:
Well, I saw a weary traveler
He was walking on down the road
Well, I saw him later that evening
He was walking on down that road
[followed by the "walk, walk, walk..." part]
More lyrics: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/p/phish/#share
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11:11 pm
WSPSUX. that is all
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11:13 pm
Amazing grace, oh how sweet the sound
That saved a wreck like me
I once was lost, though now I’m found
I was blind, but now I see
When we’ve been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun
We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise
Then when, when we first begun
Too many ages false and spent
I have already hung
This face and flock He saved us by
His endless grace will leave me whole
Amazing grace, oh how sweet the sound
To save a wreck like me
I once was lost, but now I’m found
I was blind, but now I see
More lyrics: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/e/elvis+presley/#share
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11:17 pm
“and god never listens to what i say
so very – so very hard
and you don’t get a refund if you over pray”
– S. Billings singing the phish classic “Lifeboy” – after an all night session of reading the fucking book and praying to mecca! shama Llama islam a salam!
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11:40 pm
It’s just Phish, not “the Phish” ha ha, you people are lunitics, educate yourselves sheep-le
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12:05 am
“Don’t Criticise what you can’t understand, your sons and your daughters are beyond your command…your old road is rapidly changing. So get out of the new one if you can’t lend a hand for the times they are a changin’” -Dylan
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12:17 am
haha jeeeez….just go on w your 4 letter word free life and dont worry about phish or its fuckin fans……your child listening to phish and doin drugs doesnt say anything about phish or its fans…..it says youre a shitty parent
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12:41 am
I would like you to know I’m an RN and I go to Phish shows. Many Phish shows. I travel around the country and dance to this devils music . . . and then I go to the hospital and take care of my patients. Pretty irresponsible huh??? I mean what kind of person goes to see “THE PHISH” and takes care of sick individuals in a SAFE and RESPONSIBLE manner. Weird isn’t it. Hmmmm . . .
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1:15 am
Not everyone that loves Phish is a druggie, they have amazing musical talent. For being religous you guys sure are judgemental. Peace Love and Save the Whales
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1:39 am
you are a faggot idiot
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1:40 am
Dear Stephenson,
I found your article both thought provoking and fair. As a person who followed The Phish throughout the country while I was in my mid twenties, I believe that your article was on point. If anything, your article held back a bit in exposing the wanton masturbation and penetration that prevails at The Phish concerts.
At the risk of sounding crude, I was forcibly sodomized in one of the aforementioned school busses after the show by none other than lead singer Trey Anastasio and pianist Page McConnell. I had been rendered into a near helpless state by copious amounts of LSD and heroin which had been placed into a cigarette that I had smoked. In total, I was raped seventeen times.
Fortunately I found the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ almighty and am not preaching the dangers of The Phish wherever and whenever possible.
God Bless,
Glen
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2:01 am
Everybodywangchung/Glen: I feel for your plight, my brother in Christ. I have read reputable texts that indicate Mr. Anastasio and Mr. McConnell are both well-endowed, and I pray in His name that you did not require surgery. Please tell your congregations about the dangers of “The Phish” through your moving personal accounts.
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1:49 am
I’m confused – I thought I was reading The Onion. Stephenson Billings, you have a career waiting for you at The Onion. Because spoofs and ridiculosity are your strong suits. I don’t think you’ve actually listened to an actual note of a Phish song. And if I’d known that group masturbation was the norm at Phish shows, I’d certainly have seen more than the two dozen or so that I did back in the day. Guess we’re all having different experiences in this life, thank the Good Lord.
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3:20 am
“Motivational Children’s Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector”? Sounds like the makings of a pedophile to me. Is that why you’re able to tap into Phish’s (where on earth did get ‘the’ in ‘the phish’ from?) alleged motivation for luring in the kiddos? You’re only incriminating yourself there buddy. As you said, pot smokers tend to be too stoned to be so focused on such an elaborate strategy.
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3:32 am
This reminds me of the DEA Convention scene in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. GROOOOOOOOOOOOOVEY!!!!!!!!!!!
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3:53 am
PHISH WILL PREVAIL BLOOD SUCKKKKKAS!!!!!!
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4:15 am
That article is the biggest load of horse shit iv ever read.
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6:31 am
Sounds about right! FOSSILS!! Evolution!!
Focus on your self !! Phish makes people happy, unlike your money sucking fake church!!! FOSSILS!
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9:06 am
Peace be with ewe
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9:35 am
Who the fuck cares anyway. This band has no soul. They just go on stage and make a bunch of sounds. WSP FOR LIFE BITCHES!!!
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9:47 am
Is this a joke? Because, seriously, this is the FUNNIEST analysis of Phish’s lyrics I have ever read. The one about Bouncin’ encouraging violence about women? Classic.
YAY for right-wing fundamentalism! It is the source of so much hilarity.
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10:06 am
I am sorry but this article has got to be a joke. I am a christian. I attend church on a regular basis as well as a weekly bible study. I volunteer and am part of a care team and as of this Sunday part of the clean-up team as well. I have been to see Phish a few times because the music is good. I am a person that LOVES music.. a love God gave me.. Naked people in mosh pits having orgies ?!?! Really ? NOT TRUE… Drug use, yes but NOT everyone… You will find that anywhere though… Maybe even next door to you.. The song’s you mentioned “Christmas Without Weed” from my research appears to be a satirical song by Tenacious D and “Marijuana” even you link plainly says music & lyrics by Brian Robbins. Brian Robbins is not in Phish.. Listen.. Some people that read this said this is what churches are all about NOT TRUE !! The last thing you need to do it turn people away from Christ…You are to be LOVING , and ACCEPTING, and NON-JUDGMENTAL ! The bible is full of verses speaking against slander/lies..
You might want to read..”Lev.19:16 Do not go about spreading slander among your people” “Psalm 101:5 Whoever slanders their neighbor in secret I will put to silence” “Psalm 140:11 May slanderers not be established in the land; may disaster hunt down the violent” There are so many more but I think that is enough.. May God bless you, help you be more accepting & loving.. remember..
If you love you “enemy” and do kind things for them you are more likely to show the the love that Christ has for them as well….
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10:46 am
Perhaps Stephenson Billings should stick to antique soda bottle collecting because this is some of the worst “journalism” I have ever witnessed.
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10:47 am
I have never been to a Phish show. I have never been on drugs at a Phish show. I know people that have been to Phish shows and they lead normal lives at home. As for all the people who have been illegally searched and seizures have taken place, that is your fault for not knowing the laws that have been written to protect you. All hippies I know like to dance and are non-violent, but come on, some hippies are going way to overboard with themselves. Take a shower, wear deodorant, comb your hair and maybe you wouldnt give the greater whole of the phish followers a bad rapport! Peace on Earth and good will toward man and woman!
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11:12 am
is this moron even aware that Prince Caspian is based on a book written by one of the preeminent christian apologists of the twentieth century? cocaine use? clear reference? I personally detest phish, but you, sir are high.
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11:21 am
MY little friend Stevie,
You should come on down to Texas and join our wonderful church, Fellowship of the Sun. We’re on a path to eliminate all vampires and homosexuals from the world, and I think we should add The Phish to that list.
If you’re as good as you say you are, I’d like to invite you to try out for the Light of Day Institute for those that are truly inspired to do God’s work.
http://fellowshipofthesun.org/index.html
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11:29 am
this is the most absurd article- eerily reminds me of “reefer madness.” I guess some people will just never get it. Go to a Phish show. It;s a lot more than “a bunch of fucked up people on drugs.” I guess i missed out on the giant orgy too–
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11:44 am
HOOK, LINE, & SINKER
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12:00 pm
“Studies comparing religious belief and I.Q.
In 2008, intelligence researcher Helmuth Nyborg examined whether IQ relates to denomination and income, using representative data from the National Longitudinal Study of Youth, which includes intelligence tests on a representative selection of white American youth, where they have also replied to questions about religious belief. His results, published in the scientific journal Intelligence demonstrated that on average, Atheists scored 1.95 IQ points higher than Agnostics, 3.82 points higher than Liberal persuasions, and 5.89 IQ points higher than Dogmatic persuasions. [4] “I’m not saying that believing in God makes you dumber. My hypothesis is that people with a low intelligence are more easily drawn toward religions, which give answers that are certain, while people with a high intelligence are more skeptical,” says the professor.”
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12:03 pm
This article is obviously satire. It is hilarious. And the comments here are hilarious. But it does bring up a thought about the scene, so I’m going to be serious for a second.
I think in all this comedy about “hedonism” there is a serious point to be made. Part of why I have always loved “The Phish” is that it was a GOOD scene. I’m not talking about drugs and sex, and I certainly don’t give a cr@p about organized religion, but the best thing about the scene for me is/was THE LOVE. Back in the 90s there was a lot more of that feeling that we were all looking out for each other and helping share the groove and spreading the love and good vibrations. It seems that a lot of that has taken a back seat to the “KYS n00b” crowd. I want to blame PT, but that’s just a chat board, so that would be unfair to those who actually care about their fellow brother and sister. Either way, somewhere along the line it became cool to hate on people for no good reason. The people that participate in hating on their brother or sister because they like a song or didn’t like a jam, not simply disagreeing with, but literally showering them with hate… those people, imho, are totally missing the point of phish, live music, and I would argue, life in general.
There is no “answer” for this and I’m not saying those people are “bad people”, I just wanted to throw that out there as my opinion on what I have seen in the scene since the early 90s.
IMHO: Do what you like. But BE GOOD to your brother and sister. Handle your sh1t.
I’ve seen over 100 shows since ’95 including 7 in ’09 and 10 in ’10. I intend to see many more. But just like I don’t want to see Trey get fd up on oxys and f up the whole scene for everyone else, I ALSO don’t want our scene to f it up for THEM because WE were stupid and careless. Let’s be positive and healthy so we can rage together forever.
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12:05 pm
So I just turned 18 I go to this christian group called young life. Everyone at the camp ends up seing jesus there it is incredible!!!!!! But guess what I’ve yet to see him there, but amazingly enough I saw him at The Phish show he was a cool dude he blessed me and everything! can you please explain this phenominon Mr. Billings, because I realized that day that Jesus dosnt just love you if your with a christion group, he even loves you when your partying it up with all of your hippie friends so please explain that to me Phish is for anyone including GOOD christians (note i said good that means not christwire because yall judge people way too much for gods approval) Well Mr. Billings hope to see you memorial day weekend in hampton Peace out
P.S. may the love of trey, mike, john, and page be with you
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12:06 pm
Because of this band, I’m now addicted to heroin, pills, cocain, crack, methamphetamines, heroin, cocain, pills, crack, and masturbation.
But this article, and Jesus, has given me the strength to quit masturbating.
PRRAAAISSEEE THE LAAAWWDDDDDDDDD!!!
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12:08 pm
It is clear that the elders of this “society” are power-hungry fiends, and have constructed an elaborate edifice aimed at seducing the weak-minded. Their mythology is intentionally ambiguous so that any lost soul can imagine some deeper meaning to their message. They revel in the worship of false idols, elevating mere men to the status of God. The elders frequently engage in all sorts of perversions, from sexual abuse of minors to corruption and fraud. Moreover, the men try to blur sexual boundary lines, wearing long robes and dresses. They rituals are Dionysian, and they use intoxication as a means of worship. They even engage in the paganistic – and cannibalistic – ritual of drinking the blood and eating the flesh of their leaders! This is truly an amoral and hedonistic society, with no place in our America.
Oh wait, that’s Christianity.
Oh well, may god bless Sarah Palin.
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2 
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12:18 pm
If you claim to be an “intelligent Christian,” you should probably be ashamed to know that “Prince Caspian” is based off of one of the books in the highly religious Christian-allegory series The Chronicles of Narnia, written by noted Christian writer and zealot C.S. Lewis.
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1
12:18 pm
Satire
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2 
1
12:20 pm
“they will abandon any sense of camaraderie to lifelong friends in order to scheme closer seats and vivacious women”
So…… whats the problem here?
what a joke article. author i a complete whack job.
“jesus, save me from your followers!”
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2 
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12:25 pm
Christwire. You fail to discuss the fact that there is a huge movement since the band
has been back from their hiatus revolving around sobriety.
And your interpretation of their songs is completely incorrect.
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1 
1
12:41 pm
I stared up at the mountain
And wiped away the beads of sweat
That glistened on my brow
My tired feet were buried in the quagmire
And my bloodshot eyes saw all that lay between me
And fulfillment of my vow
And I felt my fingers wrap around a knotted root
And pulled my body upwards
To a sea green mossy boulder
And I dragged my weary carcass up the mountain
And I climbed so slowly
I climbed so slowly
Ahead
Ahead
Suddenly I heard the crack of thunder
And the rocks began to crumble overhead
And tumble down the mountain to the
Dismal swamp that lay beneath the jagged cliffs
through which my path had ledmy feet
And the mighty mountain changed before my eyes
And I stood amidst a sea of dust and rocks and stones
Cascading down the mountain
And a thousand birds were headed for the sky. Oh…
The sacred creed will be mine
And if you wait until tomorrow
The sacred creed will be mine
To devour
Mine
To seize
And to obey
Obey
When the dust had cleared, I lifted up my head
And was driven to my knees by a blazing beam of light
And I saw the silhouette that stood before me
And I bowed in reverence
Trembling in the shadow of the mighty legend’s form
Icculus the prophet stood before my eyes
Looking down on me
Where he shuddered in the puddles and the muck
And he quietly addressed me
And he spoke so slowly
He spoke so slowly
Ahead
He said
Colonel Forbin I know why you’ve come here
And I’ll help you with your quest to gain the knowledge that you lack
I call upon my faithful friend the mockingbird
To fly and seize the helping book and bring it to your shack
And a tree of knowledge in your soul will grow
And the Helping Friendly Book will plant the seed
But I warn you that all knowledge seeming innocent and pure
Becomes a deadly weapon in the hands of avarice
And greed
The sacred greed will be yours
And if you wait until tomorrow
The sacred creed will be yours
To devour
Yours
To seize
And to obey
And to obey
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2 
1
12:42 pm
Anyone who thinks this is a real article = MORON
Maybe this guys should do a follow up story on how gullible idiotic Phish fans are.
This is investigative journalism at its best.
Keep up the good work!!
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4 
0
12:43 pm
Mike’s->Christmas Without Weed->Marijuana->Makisupa Policeman->Hydrogen->Weekapaug
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2 
1
1:16 pm
I believe everything I read. It seems to me The Phish have been following me around for years.
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1 
0
1:29 pm
this is obviously a joke!?! at least i hope it’s joke? lol
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1 
1
1:36 pm
I stared up at the mountain
And wiped away the beads of sweat
That glistened on my brow
My tired feet were buried in the quagmire
And my bloodshot eyes saw all that lay between me
And fulfillment of my vow
And I felt my fingers wrap around a knotted root
And pulledmy body upwards
To a sea green mossy boulder
And I dragged my weary carcass up the mountain
And I climbed so slowly
I climbed so slowly
Ahead
Ahead
Suddenly I heard the crack of thunder
And the rocks began to crumble overhead
And tumble down the mountain to the
Dismal swamp that lay beneath the jagged cliffs
through which my path had ledmy feet
And the mighty mountain changed before my eyes
And I stood amidst a sea of dust and rocks and stones
Cascading down the mountain
And a thousand birds were headed for the sky. Oh…
The sacred creed will be mine
And if you wait until tomorrow
The sacred creed will be mine
To devour
Mine
To seize
And to obey
Obey
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3 
1
7:06 pm
Fake.
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2 
2
7:34 pm
Proof it’s fake?
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0 
1
1:44 pm
If this is not a joke then this poor christian man needs to go to church and confess for writing such an inaccurate article. I am not even sure what to say……….Dear God, forgive him.
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3 
1
1:48 pm
Worthy of ‘The Onion’. Hilarious! Good work.
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3 
0
1:58 pm
hahahahahahahaha….I was literally laughing out loud by myself in my living room reading this article. Totally untrue…guys barely take time to pee in the portos, let alone jerk off in one! lol. I have to think this is complete satire, “the phish”?? lol. I thoroughly enjoyed this. At the age of 30, and after 24 shows, I will be back for more, but then maybe that means I am a member of the cult just waiting to drink the Kool Aid. I
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2 
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1:58 pm
EPIC FAIL. YOU HAVE NO QUALIFICATIONS TO WRITE THIS ARTICLE. YOU ARE BRAINLESS, DICKLESS, HOPELESS, FRIENDLESS, SOUL-LESS AND YOU ARE A PEDOPHILE. JESUS CHRIST HIMSELF WOULD HAVE A HARD TIME NOT KICKING YOU IN THE NUTS. HOW DARE YOU CALL YOURSELF A JOURNALIST, AS YOU BRING SHAME TO THE TITLE. SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO WRITE BACK. I TYPED WITH ONE HAND AND MASTURBATED TO YOUR SODA BOTTLE COLLECTION WITH THE OTHER (WHO THE FUCK COLLECTS SODA BOTTLES) KYS YOU DOUCHE
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3 
0
7:06 pm
CALM DOWN!!!!
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1 
3
7:37 pm
Says the man-child who gets upset whenever someone says he’s wrong.
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1 
1
1:58 pm
hahahahahahahaha….I was literally laughing out loud by myself in my living room reading this article. Totally untrue…guys barely take time to pee in the portos, let alone jerk off in one! lol. I have to think this is complete satire, “the phish”?? lol. I thoroughly enjoyed this. At the age of 30, and after 24 shows, I will be back for more, but then maybe that means I am a member of the cult just waiting to drink the Kool Aid.
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2 
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2:00 pm
Stephen, you quote the Bible yet you judge others. I guess you missed that verse? I respect indiviudal rights to free speech, yours included. However, your article has a number of factual misrepresentations. By commenting I am unfortunately dignifying it to a certain degree and it’s doesn’t worthy. As respectable tax paying business owner, former Deadhead and current Phish fan, I am qualified to inform you that catagorizing a band and their entire Phan base is the result of narrow view of humanity. Your opinion is analgous to me stating the Church is evil becuase it’s priests manipulate and molest little buys. What’s worse about the church is there aren’t any chemicals clouding one decision making ability.
Frankly the Church is a far worse band to follow than Phish. Open your eyes to what’s really happening which is the decline of western civilization and neither god nor Phish nor anyone else can stop it.
May you find enlightenment through love and music the way we Phish Phans do.
Should you care to do so behind a shield of morality and church is your choice just as our pursuit is ours and ours alone to follow! Our sword of righteousness is more powerful than yours since we are not confined the way you are.
See you on the other side!
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3 
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2:01 pm
I had no idea that Christ was so concerned about the well-beng of consumerism! Here I thought that the Bible taught peace and love, but you say it’s about judging others and filling the world with misdirected hatred based on misinformation that plays on the fears of parents! I had no idea that that’s what Christians aimed to do! Thanks for making it so clear.
This article could not be filled with more made up lies if the “writer” tried. Total and complete propaganda based on blatant lies. You need to grow up and learn to behave like an adult Mr. Billings.
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2 
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2:06 pm
Seriously, I think an eight year old-wrote this.
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1 
1
7:07 pm
I am 53.
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0 
3
7:38 pm
You may be 53, but you certainly act like an eight year old.
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2 
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2:15 pm
Seriously? This is your take on the band Phish? You really need to get out from under your rock and live a little. Based on the facts you state above, you clearly don’t have a clue about the music Phish plays, the band members or the origins of the term Phishing. What a laugher this article is. If anyone believes this, please drop me an e-mail, I have a bridge that you need to buy – today (one day sale)!
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2 
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2:15 pm
This is the funniest article I have ever read! Seriously, is this stand up comedy?
I nearly fell out of my seat laughing! The scary part is that some of right wing
christian crazies will probably take this as some level of fact or truth, thus
making the scene more dangerous (ie: bring their guns to the parking lot, etc)
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3 
0
2:32 pm
I’m pretty sure you may go to hell for wrighting such bull shit. Fuck you, phish is amazing and “the phish” is not a band you fuck
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2 
2
2:32 pm
Just about nailed it. No place I’d rather be than doing some meth while the phish type 2′s christmas without weed. FIREMOST
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4 
0
2:39 pm
what’s wrong with violent masturbation? i’m not hurting anyone. i promise that i’ll sodomize you all sweetly.
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1 
1
2:47 pm
This is probably the most absurd article I have ever read! I’m certain that the author must be joking. Phish is one of the most musically talented and creative bands of our time. I advise anyone who has read this article to attend a Phish concert themselves, and experience something that will truly be remembered by so many dedicated fans as a hallmark of contemporary music culture.
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2 
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2:48 pm
Dear Stephenson Billings of Christwire.org,
You are the worst journalist of all time. The number one rule of journalism is to check your facts. Just from the beginning you are bashing a band, “The Phish”, in an incredibly slanderous manner. That isn’t a problem if you were say,”blogging,” but as this seems to be a more commercial website you should handle yourself more professionally. The bands name is Phish, genius. Not “The Phish” as your article keeps referring. How can you write an article bashing a band and you aren’t even aware of the title said band calls themselves. That immediately crushes your credibility. Also can you honestly say that Phish is comparable to Charles Manson and Jim Jones. Honestly? That’s just ignorant and pathetic as a writer and supposed intellect. How cold and uncaring, from a so called Christian, to under mind such tragedies by comparing them to a rock band. 900 people were killed by Jim Jones. 900!! How dare you make that any less significant? I can only hope the family of those victims never read this article. And what is this deal about communism? If anything it’s very far from communism. Socialist maybe because everyone is communal and share what they have. Oh and of course they actively support the dreaded HEALTH CARE BILL!! OH NO!! Damn commis I guess. Plus your facts about drug use are diluted. If police did a sweep of your neighborhood I bet you would be astonished at what was turned up. This article is completely bogus and I hope Phish Legal sues you senseless!
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1 
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3:10 pm
Praises GB! praises! i’m so glad you’ve excepted cheesus into your heart lungs and hula hoop! oh wait wrong evil commy band
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2 
0
3:19 pm
You must be the dumbest Motivational Children’s Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector on earth.
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2 
0
3:23 pm
as a strict Christan and a fully educated and licensed lawyer in the state of Ohio for many years.. i can honestly tell you these are lies. there are plenty of good honest ppl in the phish scene.
this article was in fact humorous tho… to see someone so cornered with a scene they obviously know so little about.
so to all you hardcore Christians out there.. please download LIFEBOY.. by phish give it a listen.. than judge
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3 
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3:28 pm
PTisgod, the fact that you have to sign off with “WSP SUX” shows what an incredibly large tool you must be. I’m so sick of the Panic/Phish/SCI arguments. Since when are you only allowed to like one band. If you’re a true music fan you appreciate many types of music. And the fact that your name is “PTisgod” validates even more what a major douche you must be. Grow up and broaden you music horizon kid. I guess you don’t like The Beatles, Bob Dylan, Neil Young, Grateful Dead, Sly and the Family Stone, Temptations, or hundreds of other good bands, because you only like Phish and “WSP SUX”. What a tool.
And Bob, the article is a joke moron. If you can’t realize that you are absolutely brain dead!! Oh, and everything I said about Ptisgod relates to you also since you felt it necessary to sign off with “WSP SUX” as well. Fucking morons!!
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2 
1
3:48 pm
Stevie… will be looking for your next article brother.. we know where to find you.. wink
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1 
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4:03 pm
Dear Mr. Stephenson Billings
I just read your article “Just Say No to Phish”. As your article definitely speaks for it self, I don’t feel the need to address anything individually, so i will just sum it up for your little closed minded brain.
Who ever is giving you your information is taking you for a ride my friend. Perhaps Jebus is standing on your shoulder, masquerading as a little green martian, and he is whispering into your ear these delusional fantasies you print .
Since every one who would ever read this would know how full of shit you are, except crazy religious kooks, you have to wonder where this wild imagination comes from. Perhaps your own head. Maybe all this fiction you wright is concocted from deep inside the closet of your sinful erotic child molester mind. Maybe when you see a porter john you imagine that there is an adolescent boy in there masturbating, on drugs, and in your fantasy he lets you in to finish him off. with your self hating gay mouth which spews A brand of Phantasy that only a true religious nut job phanatic can. Check your facts before you print slander you racist closed minded bigot.
I think you and I Both know How wild and crazy your bull shit little article is, and if you were at all an intelligent person, you would apologize to your readers for lying to them so blatantly.
But wait every thing you believe in is a lie, imposed to evoke fear. so i guess you wouldn’t understand.
You are a used douche bag covered in the virgin mary’s period juice. You shouldn’t be offended by this, it is what it is. No go molest some alter boys like we all know you are going to do.
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2 
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4:11 pm
In this guys Defense, who hasn’t Tossed off in a porter John before. I mean come on. I mean, they all have purell now-a-days anyway. Pump out the spunk with the shit, i always say.
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1 
1
4:12 pm
To Stephenson Billings:
You sir, are a fucking idiot.
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5 
1
4:12 pm
The band has no control over the well known Philidelphia n02 (nitrous oxide) mob. They sell gas intended for use with automobiles, and it’s a shame that while they aren’t guilty of any pro-drug propaganda–Phish has spent a fortune trying to control the vending and parking lot atmosphere and culture from becoming what it has. They–and other, completely different bands (such as Widespread Panic)– inherited the following from the Grateful Dead.
On the contrary, the article IS guilty of propaganda. Written by a clueless author, it fails in every way. From the regular readers of this site to those passing by to witness its sheer absurdity, everyone is laughing here!
Here’s a tip to the neophyte– if you want to persuade people, stick to your opinion, and for Christ’s sake (no pun intended), please think before adding links to sourced material. I for one would love to see a single shred of evidence of the band ‘paying for tanks’ of nitrous oxide to be ‘wheeled out’.
No, clueless author, *the fact* is that you are simply lying. You are *in fact* guilty of propaganda. You are *in fact* judging the band by the actions of its followers. Notice that no links are necessary for these facts, just read the idiot’s article, above.
The idea that the band’s massive operation is managed by executive management is obvious to anyone. With that, imagine the insurance policies necessary for such large tours. Who would risk multi-million dollar sums on such a band? What company?
Downright lying simply makes your readers wonder: what don’t you want them to see?
I for one wonder if it’s jealousy–your lying, sinful ways can’t convert a single person to Christianity, so you’ve resorted to coveting the band’s following. Try the truth sometime, Jesus might appreciate it.
If you really want to judge music by the character of the artists and the actions of its listeners, I suggest you never listen to classical music again without doing your research.
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2 
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7:12 pm
Thank you for your support but as a certified investigative journalist with a sense of morality and ethics, I can’t in good confidence reveal my confidential sources for the nitrous information. I have complete faith in my work. God bless little lady!
Stephenson Billings
Investigative Journalist
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0 
2
7:40 pm
//Thank you for your support but as a total hack-job with a disregard of humanity and ethics, I can’t reveal that I completely made this libel up. I hate anyone who’s right. God bless little lady!
Stephenson “I’m fucking crazy” Billings
Grand Wizard of the KKK//
Fixed.
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2 
0
5:11 am
You don’;t have the ethics to be included in the KKK you jerk.
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0 
2
2:41 pm
easy now fuzzy little Man-Peach billings
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5 
0
12:34 am
So you know how the KKK works? Well, who’da thunk that a racist old white man would be in the KKK?
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2 
0
4:13 pm
The band has no control over the well known Philadelphia n02 (nitrous oxide) mob. They sell gas intended for use with automobiles, and it’s a shame that while they aren’t guilty of any pro-drug propaganda–Phish has spent a fortune trying to control the vending and parking lot atmosphere and culture from becoming what it has. They–and other, completely different bands (such as Widespread Panic)– inherited the following from the Grateful Dead.
On the contrary, the article IS guilty of propaganda. Written by a clueless author, it fails in every way. From the regular readers of this site to those passing by to witness its sheer absurdity, everyone is laughing here!
Here’s a tip to the neophyte– if you want to persuade people, stick to your opinion, and for Christ’s sake (no pun intended), please think before adding links to sourced material. I for one would love to see a single shred of evidence of the band ‘paying for tanks’ of nitrous oxide to be ‘wheeled out’.
No, clueless author, *the fact* is that you are simply lying. You are *in fact* guilty of propaganda. You are *in fact* judging the band by the actions of its followers. Notice that no links are necessary for these facts, just read the idiot’s article, above.
The idea that the band’s massive operation is managed by executive management is obvious to anyone. With that, imagine the insurance policies necessary for such large tours. Who would risk multi-million dollar sums on such a band? What company?
Downright lying simply makes your readers wonder: what don’t you want them to see?
I for one wonder if it’s jealousy–your lying, sinful ways can’t convert a single person to Christianity, so you’ve resorted to coveting the band’s following. Try the truth sometime, Jesus might appreciate it.
If you really want to judge music by the character of the artists and the actions of its listeners, I suggest you never listen to classical music again without doing your research.
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2 
1
4:14 pm
This article made me think long and hard.
Now I am thinking about the previous sentence in this comment, and how pervertedly awesome the author’s interpretation of it will be.
Thanks, Mr. Author, for inducing a healthy dose of moral paranoia on our youth.
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2 
0
4:14 pm
Phish is the devil!!!!!!! NOT
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9 
0
4:27 pm
why does your website advertise the biggest drug festival in the south? ultra-fest? come on Steve who are u kidding…?
by your logic hippies don’t own computers tho.. right Steve?
you hate the phish scene yet your advertising to young adults who may be interested in Christianity about ultra-fest? seems like your only in if for the money pal… any everyone can see that here.
stilllll waitttting….
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1 
1
7:14 pm
That’s a very serious accusation. I don’t profit from this website financially, only in my soul. As for the ads, it is my understanding the Google ad service works on your website history and other places you surf to, so if drug sites are showing up that might mean you’ve been to some illicit websites? Not sure, check with your internet provider. I get ads for Gold Sales and Groupons mostly.
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3 
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7:49 pm
//That’s a very serious accusation. I don’t profit from this website financially, only in my soul.//
Proof that you’re not a journalist. An actual journalist would be getting a paycheck and some form of profit.
//As for the ads, it is my understanding the Google ad service works on your website history and other places you surf to, so if drug sites are showing up that might mean you’ve been to some illicit websites? Not sure, check with your internet provider. I get ads for Gold Sales and Groupons mostly.//
Once again you demonstrate that you don’t know how the internet works. Here’s a list of tips Stevie:
1. Just because you type in some search terms, does not mean that every single result that pops up is exactly what you’re looking for. You need to look no further than your “rabbit raping cat” blog to realize that; you may get over a hundred results, but there may very well be only one result that matches what you want.
2. Google Ads works based on keywords that the site you’re on has. If you put in a bunch of anti-Twilight/Jonas Brothers/gay/drug/whatever posts and whatnot, then the ads will see those words and link you to sites that share those keywords, more often than not, being more positive.
3. The internet is EVERYWHERE in the world, so do keep in mind that if you start saying that “America is totally better than every other country”, you’re doing nothing but making Americans look terrible in the eyes of everyone else who comes across this nonsense.
4. People on the internet have just as much of a right as you do to say things, and that includes telling you to piss off whenever you make a racist, homophobic, xenophobic, or sexist blog post. Also, just because you’re on the internet doesn’t mean you’re not liable for your own words; you could very well be sued by half a dozen artists and celebrities based on the libel that you’ve committed; there is a fine line between speech and hate, and you constantly cross over to hate.
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2 
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5:13 am
You are not a man. You are pathetic. Why are you so full of hate? I pray some day I can hold you in my bosom and make you confess your sin. Why don’t you email me and tell me about your life? Secrets are so sinful.
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0 
3
10:24 am
“I pray some day I can hold you in my bosom and make you confess your sin. Why don’t you email me and tell me about your life? Secrets are so sinful.”
You are so fucking creepy.
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5 
1
12:38 am
//You are not a man. You are pathetic.//
Truer words have never been spoken about you, you freak.
//Why are you so full of hate? I pray some day I can hold you in my bosom and make you confess your sin. Why don’t you email me and tell me about your life? Secrets are so sinful.//
Seriously, gay. Also, why would I want to tell you about my life? You’re nothing but a hateful bastard who only jerks off at the idea of little boys getting naked. You know nothing about me, but you’re probably imagining me as some kid that you fucked last summer or something.
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3 
1
1:39 pm
i pray you die of AIDS some day you fucking fake christian asshole fraud
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0 
1
2:08 pm
Wow, Dan that’s a pretty nasty to thing to say to Comedian. I know he and I disagree at times, but I would never wish a disease upon him. Not very Christ-like my friend.
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0 
0
1:20 am
Stephenson Billings I hope you are fortunate enough to someday understand RELATIVITY. Every human is completely different. Generalizing a group of people has always been the down fall of humans. YOU need to accept that the vast majority of humans don’t share your opinions derived from your conscious reality. Until you realize this you aren’t credible to debate such BIG BOY topics such as PHISH…
now go frolic and have sex with a beautiful sun child whats stopping you? Your life could end any minute and you’ll never know….it’s all relative my brotha
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0 
0
4:29 pm
Wow, this is exactly why I do not follow one religion. By writing this you are completely going against your own faith. You are lying, and writing completely untrue facts about the band and the beautiful people that follow them. I personally have been to MANY phish shows as well as my mother and father, and not one of us recalls anyone being raped, or “trust fund hippies” running the lot. You are slandering the name of something you have no idea about, and you;re simply afraid or it because it is different and not something you personally enjoy or believe in. You should be embarrassed that you wrote and published this. You have absolutely no source, or concrete facts of any of this. Also, if you knew anything about phish you would know that lead guitarist Trey, went through re-hab and would never send tanks of nitrous out to the lot for people to use, that is a completely different group of people. You have insulted many i am sure with this garbage you call journalism. And if the music of phish was so horrible, why do they have the biggest fan base in the world? Get some real facts then write, dont just talk out of your ass jesus freak.
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2 
1
7:14 pm
Are you normally so bossy?
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1 
3
7:52 pm
You’re normally retarded, so what’s the point?
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3 
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4:30 pm
Jesus was a jewish liberal with hair of wool and feet of bronze who forgived all, and said the poor will inherit the eart,. and he fucked Mary Magdeline. Drugs are just drugs, religion, crime, and the fickleness of the human mind are the problem. Drugs are just drugs. I don’t like Christians, because you are not Christlike. Let he who without sin cast the first stone. Quit prosthletising and advocating on behalf of your power hunger you hippocritical blashpheming scum.
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1
4:30 pm
Hey Trey Can you link me up with your Nitrous Dealer
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0
4:35 pm
hey trey can you hook me up with you Nitrous Dealer?
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2 
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4:46 pm
Ezekiel 25:17 The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children.
And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
^ i just thought it was some bad shit to say before i popped a cap in someone’s ass, but after reading this article i know see the light. Steveson Billings – you are the wicked man and i am the sheppard leading his people out of the valley of darkness. or maybe i am the wicked man and you are just an idiot?
– Jules
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5:05 pm
Is this where the show is?
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5:09 pm
This pissed me off as well when I read it. Then I looked at the site, It might as well be “THE ONION”. It’s all satire, We have been fooled and worked up over nothing. LOL
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5:17 pm
Condemning an art AND an entire group of people you know absolutely nothing about.. Thats called ignorance and it is definitely frowned upon in The Bible. A lot of people are asking you to take this site down but i say NO. This isnt detracting people away from phish, its actually showing people how are retarded extremist christians can be. You sir are not “Christ-like” Your intentions are decent but please get your facts straight. I know, personally, a lot of phish fans and am able to say that more listeners of their music have been lead closer to God than further away.. They really make fantastic music. They dont claim to be saints
What else needs to be said?
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5:29 pm
This article is ignorant and extremely judgmental. The author of this, Stephenson Billings, refers to the Band as “The Phish”. Right off the bat you proved to me that you didnt do your homework. The band is called “Phish”, not “The Phish”. We all know that none of your “fellow” Christians ever break the law. What the hell gives YOU the right to judge anybody? Doesnt the good book tell you not to do that? Not only are you an ignorant man, but you also come across as pompous and arrogant. Have fun with that soda bottle collection, sounds like a hoot!
Robert Picciotti
Proud Agnostic
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7:16 pm
“But God shall wound the head of his enemies, and the hairy scalp of such a one as goeth on still in his trespasses. The Lord said, I will bring again from Bashan, I will bring my people again from the depths of the sea: That thy foot may be dipped in the blood of thine enemies, and the tongue of thy dogs in the same.” –Psalms 68:21-23.
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7:52 pm
“Here, read this bible quote, it has SOMETHING to do with what you said and how I feel…I just don’t know what since I don’t give a shit about the Bible, but who cares! I’m a Christian, I don’t have to follow the fucking Bible!”
-Stevie’s feelings behind his bible quotes.
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5:15 am
You need a life partner.
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10:29 am
“You need a life partner.”
This coming from the 53 year old man who’s never had one.
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5:54 pm
Sexual pleasure and peer exceptance? I dont even know where to begin with sexual pleasure. Possibly the most bizarre, uninformed and poorly researched fragment of a statement I’ve ever read. Additionally, Birds of a feather ironically speaks of it all as it NOT being an experience if you can’t bring someone along. As Jodie Sweetin’s character Stephanie Tanner would say on Full House, “How Rude!”.
P.S. What’s it like not to know what fun is outside, say, apples to apples? Grow up, develop a culture and enjoy life.
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6:20 pm
This sounds like an article from “The Onion.” haha, is this actually a joke? I’m a Christian and also a Phish fan. It says that they have some type of agenda. The only agenda they have is delivering great music to the people. Also, “THE Phish”, who calls it “The Phish”?
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6:30 pm
Thank you. This is one of the most hilarious pieces I’ve read in a long time. The lyrical interpretations are amazing! I’ve seen phish about 40 times (yet somehow remain a productive member of society and family man), but wasn’t enlightened until now.
thank you bed-wetters of the religious right. your ignorance and lack of self-awareness continue to create constant parodies of yourselves. well done!
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6:34 pm
PHISH ROCKS !!!!
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6:39 pm
What is beyond a doubt is that Phish was buying large quantities of LSD in their infancy and Jacking up the crowd which grew quite large with the availability of cheap acid as well as heroin. Having been to quite a few shows I can say that Phishheads in general are pompous arrogant asses who have little respect for fellow men, have no problems breaking into peoples belongings; a crowd full of spoiled rich kid thieves.
See, Deadheads were able to go everywhere, with the following drug culture, and not leave a legacy of rape, robbery, and anti-social acceptable activities.
As far as the communist comment, Mr Christian reporter, The bible is against earthly government and the basis of communism is EVERYBODY WORKS TOWARDS A GREATER GOOD. While you complain about destruction of American industry you conveniently leave out the fact that 75% of lost work in America has moved overseas so the wall street types can pocket millions while the average American has no work or dead end jobs. Speaking of America, the bible you preach of, being anti-government, is also by proxy ANTI-AMERICAN. For the record, I’m also anti-American as I believe the world was meant to be enjoyed by whoever, wherever, whenever.
While I did appreciate reading this article your bias is too skewed for you to write any sort of a fair assessment. And yes, There are audio anomolys called beat frequencies that do have direct effect on actions and feelings of people. Phish has never toured with a sound system capable of reproducing them. The drugs do the work, the band just provides the canvas.
Last but not least, say what you want about the pointless meandering on the part of the band but that is a damned fine drummer.
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6:47 pm
@ michael georges – you sir are a pompous asshole. there were plenty of losers and theives and rapists on dead tour. i know because i was dosed and assraped at the sam boy silver bowl in 1994 and had my car stolen. Don’t act like the older deadheads shit don’t stink because it smells fowler than a portilet at watkins glen in 1973. GFYS/KYS thxby
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5:18 am
I am really sorry for your pain. I hope your life is okay now. Sometimes people are crap. It just happens. People do love you, just be conscience that you’re a wonderful person in our eyes.
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5:44 pm
Conscious, dipshit. The word is CONSCIOUS.
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6:46 pm
you’re ignorant. screw your christwire, see PAST your bull shit. there’s more. just because it wasn’t in your damn book doesn’t mean that is not possible, BECAUSE IT IS. and yeah a bubbling crack pipe? hmm maybe because THAT EXISTS out there. he’s not in ANY way promoting crack use. but you know, that exists. real life goes down, and music is a way of reflection and therapy…you know, there ARE other ways to “let your inner rage out” as oppose to preying to something that is NOT even tangible! what the heck is that?! yeah, it can’t all be pretty, look at the world we’re in…it’s A MESS! You’ve gotta let it ou and jump out of line. LIVE!
you’re so wrong and so so so ignorant. typical.
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7:19 pm
this is the most neurotic bullshit i have ever read. people who believe this writer need to get a clue.
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7:24 pm
Sounds like this guy paid way too much for a fake ticket to hampton. He got served and is still in shock over it.
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7:35 pm
Dear Author,
You must be incredibly horny or a rapist yourself to write such descriptive sexual scenes. Don’t beat your pulsig phallus much do you?
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5:19 am
I should report your email address to the sex police, you jerk.
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1:08 pm
Seriously???? Are you really that asinine and obtuse?
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12:42 am
Who are they? They anything like the Cyber Police? Are they gonna back-trace him?
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7:38 pm
I feel that this article is very judgemental and that you are not well informed. You have stereotyped a large group of people based on inaccurate information. I am a 48 year old professional
therapist with a Masters degree and two grown children. I also happen to be a Christian. I do not drink or do drugs, but I love Phish and their music is a representation of how wonderful God
is. Many of the people I have met at Phish shows are educated, highly intelligent people. Many are gifted and creative artists. There are also some who do choose to use drugs, however, for
you to lump “all Phish Fans” into one catagory and think you know what it is about shows tremendous ignorance on your part. Of the people that do choose to use drugs, some do so to enhance
their awareness and to seek spiritual meaning. The band Phish (not “the phish”) does not have any control over who their audience is. The members of the band also all have college degrees.
Have you met them? Have you spoken with them? Then how can you Judge and write such a bunch of ridiculous claims, expecially, in the name of Christianity. I believe that Jesus would want
us to Love one Another….No Exceptions. I am not condoning drug or alcohol use, but I felt the need to defend these talented musicians as well as their Fans. For me, the Music brings me great
Joy, and I have met many peaceful and beautiful people at their concerts. I forgive you for your ignorance, but now you know. Thank-You for allowing me to voice my opinion.
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5:20 am
Why can’t you admit the truth? We all know that the Phish fans are guilty and it’s only a matter of time until Gov. Sarah Palin has them rounded up.
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10:48 am
Nothing says ‘christian values’ and ‘democratic rule of law’ like the recommended internment of an entire group of people.keep up the broadbrushing!
And I believe you mean former-half-term governor palin. She of the 29% favorability.
May your afterlife be blessed with an eternal vacuum solo.
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1:21 pm
Stephanie, Palin couldn’t round up to a dime from .09 cents. And you keep talking about the crimes Phish has committed. LMAO. They are a band, that plays music which is perfectly legal in the USA. However, lets talk about the crimes that Christianity is responsible for.
In the spring of 1612 some English colonists found life among the (generally friendly and generous) natives attractive enough to leave Jamestown – “being idell … did runne away unto the Indyans,” – to live among them (that probably solved a sex problem).
“Governor Thomas Dale had them hunted down and executed: ‘Some he apointed (sic) to be hanged Some burned Some to be broken upon wheles, others to be staked and some shott to deathe’.” [SH105] Of course these elegant measures were restricted for fellow Englishmen: “This was the treatment for those who wished to act like Indians. For those who had no
choice in the matter, because they were the native people of Virginia” methods were different: “when an Indian was accused by an Englishman of stealing a cup and failing to return it, the English response was to attack the natives in force, burning the entire community” down. [SH105]
On the territory that is now Massachusetts the founding fathers of the colonies were committing genocide, in what has become known as the “Peqout War.” The killers were New England Puritan Christians, refugees from persecution in their own home country England.
When however, a dead colonist was found, apparently killed by Narragansett Indians, the Puritan colonists wanted revenge. Despite the Indian chief’s pledge they attacked.
Somehow they seem to have lost the idea of what they were after, because when they were greeted by Pequot Indians (long-time foes of the Narragansetts) the troops nevertheless made war on the Pequots and burned their villages.
The puritan commander-in-charge John Mason after one massacre wrote: “And indeed such a dreadful Terror did the Almighty let fall upon their Spirits, that they would fly from us and run into the very Flames, where many of them perished … God was above them, who laughed his Enemies and the Enemies of his People to Scorn, making them as a fiery Oven … Thus did the Lord judge among the Heathen, filling the Place with dead Bodies”: men, women, children. [SH113-114]
So “the Lord was pleased to smite our Enemies in the hinder Parts, and to give us their land for an inheritance”. [SH111].
Because of his readers’ assumed knowledge of Deuteronomy, there was no need for Mason to quote the words that immediately follow:
“Thou shalt save alive nothing that breatheth. But thou shalt utterly destroy them…” (Deut 20)
Mason’s comrade Underhill recalled how “great and doleful was the bloody sight to the view of the young soldiers” yet reassured his readers that “sometimes the Scripture declareth women and children must perish with their parents”. [SH114]
Other Indians were killed in successful plots of poisoning. The colonists even had dogs especially trained to kill Indians and to devour children from their mothers breasts, in the colonists’ own words: “blood Hounds to draw after them, and Mastives to seaze them.” (This was inspired by Spanish methods of the time)
In this way they continued until the extermination of the Pequots was near. [SH107-119]
The surviving handful of Indians “were parceled out to live in servitude. John Endicott and his pastor wrote to the governor asking for ‘a share’ of the captives, specifically ‘a young woman or girle and a boy if you thinke good’.” [SH115]
Other tribes were to follow the same path.
Comment the Christian exterminators: “God’s Will, which will at last give us cause to say: How Great is His Goodness! and How Great is his Beauty!”
“Thus doth the Lord Jesus make them to bow before him, and to lick the Dust!” [TA]
Like today, lying was morally acceptable to Christians then. “Peace treaties were signed with every intention to violate them: when the Indians ‘grow secure uppon (sic) the treatie’, advised the Council of State in Virginia, ‘we shall have the better Advantage both to surprise them, & cutt downe theire Corne’.” [SH106]
In 1624 sixty heavily armed Englishmen cut down 800 defenseless Indian men, women and children. [SH107]
In a single massacre in “King Philip’s War” of 1675 and 1676 some “600 Indians were destroyed. A delighted Cotton Mather, revered pastor of the Second Church in Boston, later referred to the slaughter as a ‘barbeque’.” [SH115]
To summarize: Before the arrival of the English, the western Abenaki people in New Hampshire and Vermont had numbered 12,000. Less than half a century later about 250 remained alive – a destruction rate of 98%. The Pocumtuck people had numbered more than 18,000, fifty years later they were down to 920 – 95% destroyed. The Quiripi-Unquachog people had numbered about
30,000, fifty years later they were down to 1500 – 95% destroyed. The Massachusetts people had numbered at least 44,000, fifty years later barely 6000 were alive – 81% destroyed. [SH118] These are only a few examples of the multitude of tribes living before Christian colonists set their foot on the New World. All this was before the smallpox epidemics of 1677 and 1678 had occurred. And the carnage was not over then.
All the above was only the beginning of the European colonization, it was before the frontier age actually had begun.
A total of maybe more than 150 million Indians (of both Americas) were destroyed in the period of 1500 to 1900, as an average two thirds by smallpox and other epidemics, that leaves some 50 million killed directly by violence, bad treatment and slavery.
In many countries, such as Brazil, and Guatemala, this continues even today.
Reverend Solomon Stoddard, one of New England’s most esteemed religious leaders, in “1703 formally proposed to the Massachusetts Governor that the colonists be given the financial wherewithal to purchase and train large packs of dogs ‘to hunt Indians as they do bears’.” [SH241]
Massacre of Sand Creek, Colorado 11/29/1864. Colonel John Chivington, a former Methodist minister and still elder in the church (“I long to be wading in gore” had a Cheyenne village of about 600, mostly women and children, gunned down despite the chiefs’ waving with a white flag: 400-500 killed.
From an eye-witness account: “There were some thirty or forty squaws collected in a hole for protection; they sent out a little girl about six years old with a white flag on a stick; she had not proceeded but a few steps when she was shot and killed. All the squaws in that hole were afterwards killed …” [SH131]
By the 1860s, “in Hawai’i the Reverend Rufus Anderson surveyed the carnage that by then had reduced those islands’ native population by 90 percent or more, and he declined to see it as tragedy; the expected total die-off of the Hawaiian population was only natural, this missionary said, somewhat equivalent to ‘the amputation of diseased members of the body’.”
[SH244]
Just to name a few. Do you want me to keep going?
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5:48 pm
Get your head out of the past, buddy. This is 21st century America we’re talking about.
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5:57 pm
“Get your head out of the past, buddy. This is 21st century America we’re talking about.”
Says the man who’s constantly posting quotes from the bible and saying derogatory things about women that have no place in 21st Century America.
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12:47 am
Don’t you want to bring back the Dark Ages? You hate anyone who uses their Freedom of Speech, so obviously you think that things should be back when the Church had control in the government, violating the rights of every basic citizen just because the Church isn’t happy with someone or something.
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12:45 am
And how, pray tell, would she ban the Freedom of Speech?
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8:16 pm
you judgemental mother fuckers need to point a finger somewhere just as JESUS did huh? get a grip on self righteousness! listen to phish before you judge you stupid fucks!!!!
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8:18 pm
HELL YES!
I HATE PHISH ALMOST AS MUCH AS I HATE THE BLACKS!
PRAISE JESUS, WHITE POWER!
WHITE POWER!
PRAISE JESUS IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS ARYAN!
WHITE POWER WHITE POWER
PHISH SUX BUT THEY’RE WHITE SO IM KINDA TORN BUT KILL THE BLACKS ANYWAY!
YES
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8:46 pm
this is why i listen to britney spears and u2. go with god you terrible fucking phisheads with your terrible drugs and smelly braided hairs
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9:16 pm
I have been to dozens of Phish shows and have been part of the hippy culture since birth. Might as well just get it out there that I’m a 40-year-old, spiritual, health care professional married to a corporate CEO. After reading the first few lines of this article, I was offended, but the more I read the sillier it became. I began laughing out loud. I think I actually slapped my knee! Then I began calling my family members into the room to have a look, and we practically rolled on the floor. Where do you guys get this stuff? Is this a creative writing project? I am now gleefully forwarding this article to all of my hedonistic, evil, Phish-worshipping friends so that they can get the same sort of enjoyment out of it. Thanks for a good, hearty laugh after a long day of work!
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5:22 am
God bless your TARP dollars, Mr. Ceo!
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12:48 am
And you prove your inability to read once again Stevie.
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9:20 pm
This article is absurd. I am a devoted Christ follower and this does not depict what the band or the music is about. The band can not control what fans do or partake in. It is their choice to engage in that behavior. I follow the band for the music and the creativity that they provide in their delivery of it.
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9:46 pm
Hey Stephenson,
Your hands and feet are mangos.
You’re gonna be a genious, anyway.
Signed,
Phan who has a way better life than you
Btw The Phish are not a band. You are a terrible reporter and have lost all credibility for anything in the future.
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9:53 pm
You are so smart old man! You have everything figured out… I like god so much more now… great work old man… soon enough you will join your god and he will hopefully suck your cock and let you finger his asshole.
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9:53 pm
You are so smart old man! You have everything figured out… I like god so much more now… great work old man…
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11:28 pm
Guys, go towards the light (as if it had a type II jam) Phish is bad real bad. Open your eyes of the world, and turn on your lovelight. This band has destroyed lives, melted faces all over the country if you will. Wake up, split open and melt away all of the terrible life choices that Phish has brought upon you. It’s not too late to get back on the train…. of God. Amen.
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11:50 pm
LOVES GOD HATES NlGGERS, Keep the hate out. Phish is a great band and I found Jesus at a Phish show!!! HE HAS RISEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!! Trey made me find Christ, He may be the new lord as far as I am concerned!!!!!!! His whale calls are actually talking directly to Jesus!!!
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12:40 am
Dear Mr Stephenson Billings;
Did you eat paint chips while jerking off as a kid?
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1:06 am
Man, this guy has got to be loving all us Phish fans coming to his site to read this “article” because of the hits generating ad revenue. At first I thought this was a parody, but boy was I wrong. I was raised Catholic, I confirmed Catholic (no longer practicing however), and I am a huge Phish fan. They are some of the most influential and talented musicians of this generation. Yes, they aren’t the greatest role models, but to totally deny them the respect they deserve for the art and to libel them in this way is pathetic.
You Sir sound uneducated, angry, and frankly terrified to accept any culture that is not yours. You make frequent references to Communism, using it as a negative aspect, but why? Do you know what Communism is or do you just assume you know what it is based on the Cold War? It’s really not that bad. In theory, it’s a wonderful, loving system of Government, it just has happened to only be executed by borderline insane dictators.
So I respect your opinion, but it’s horribly wrong and misguided. You really should check your facts.
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5:24 am
Nice conspiracy theory, you perv. I don’t get paid financially to spread Jesus’s word, but I feel it filling up my soul when I speak TRUTH TO POWER!
Get real or get in jail.
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12:53 am
No, you’re just a jobless 53 year old virgin who can’t find a woman who would accept a racist, sexist bigot, so you decided to find a website that had the same hateful views as you and then joined it so you could spew your bile. Problem is, you joined a satire instead of a legit website.
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6:46 pm
I’m a perv because I called out the fact that this website displays ads? Who benefits from the ad money if it’s not you? Someone does, and I’d hope they donate it all to their local church, for I highly doubt the Lord would be O.K. with you guys profiting off him.
I really like how you hid from my argument and points by calling me a perv. I’d be more accepting of your blatant, irrelevant insult if you at least tried to discuss any of my points, which you did not (besides denying you get paid).
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1:07 am
Dear Mr. Billings,
I’m a 16 year old female Phish Fan. I’m going to be 100% honest with you about my experience with the band. Please read this before you make any more judgements.
To start, the band is called Phish, not The Phish. If you want to publish an accurate article slamming a band, you should probably get the name right.
Second, as I stated before, I’m 16 years old. I’m a sophomore in high school, and I am obsessed with Phish. I live in a very nice area, I take all honors classes at school (and make all A’s), I volunteer my time to care for others, I am not selfish, I am not dirty, I have never had sex, and I have only smoked marijuana 3 times, all of which were before I was a fan of Phish. As you can see, the fan you described in your article is completely opposite of who I am. My dad, who also LOVES Phish, works for the school district in our area, is a Christian, doesn’t do drugs of any kind, went to college (twice) and is a contributing member of society. Obviously, you can not post slander about Phish fans, saying they have orgies and are high all of the time when there are way more people like my dad and I than the opposite type of person. Before you begin to say that “everyone” is a certain way, you must first examine every single person of the group you are talking about.
You said “As for the band itself, one can only hypothesize where their broader agenda is leading. It goes without saying that they employ the very same tactics common among drug gangs, pedophiles and cult leaders to spread their dangerous message. If their activities are leading to gun violence, child rape or mass suicide, should we not do everything in our power to stop it?”
The goal of Phish’s music is to make people laugh, have fun, dance, and respect. Their songs contain funny lyrics, great musical composition, and awesome improvisational jams. Not a single band member would ever want to start a cult. I would be willing to bet that none of them own guns, most of them have beautiful children and would NEVER suggest raping a child. Mass suicide is not even plausible. They do not support drug use in any way. They can’t control their fans. How could they? Phish spreads the message of happiness, joy, peace, and love, and nothing else.
You also said “Hedonism continues unabated in the parking lots after these shows.” after the show I attended, the only thin happening in the parking lot was the selling of tee-shirts, waters, and other drinks. This happens outside of every concert! Everyone walking to their cars was happy and friendly. There were cops in the area, as their always are for concerts, and they were talking to the fans happily. Concert venues usually rave about Phish fans being the friendliest and kindest they’ve seen.
Along these lines, you also said “The band pays for tanks of hospital nitrous oxide to be wheeled out so that the hordes of regulars struggling with their symptoms of withdrawal can be managed.” you stated no source for this, first of all. Second of all, the band wants the nitrous to stop. They do not buy it for anyone, or support it in any way. They wish it would go away and have been quoted many times saying such. Also, many people say that the nitrous is everywhere at the shows. As I was leaving the show I attended, I saw one balloon. One. That is ALL. That’s not too crazy now, is it?
Your next false accusation: “Other narcotics common in this crowd include: ecstasy, methamphetamine, cocaine, psylocibin, MDMA, hashish, heroin, Adderall and Klonazapin. Mix them all together and drip them into the bloodstream continuously for five years and that’s the mental state of your average fan.” first of all, drugs wear off. Even if someone did all of these things, the effects would not last for 5 years. All of these drugs mixed together would kill a person, so that couldn’t be possible. You have surveyed no fans, so you can not say anything about the average one. This is a false statement in every aspect.
Next: “Quite simply, band members mash up violent drumming with amateur guitar screeches at such high speeds there is no doubt that heroin is doing a guest performance with the group. (Transvestite drummer Jon Fishman and shifty-eyed bassist Mike Gordon are clearly the most guilty of these auditory abuses.)”
Jon Fishman is not a transvestite. Learn the story behind the dress before you say this. Also, I DARE you to try to play the guitar like Trey. He is not an amateur. It doesn’t matter if you don’t like the sound of Phish, or anything about them; saying Trey is an amateur is completely false, and you obviously don’t know anything about music if you think otherwise. None of the band members use heroin. You can not say that they do. This is called Slander.
The last thing I will address, though I could counter-argue every point in this article, is this: “Children of all ages will tear off their clothes and jump in muddy mosh pits, kicking and penetrating each other with little compunction for common sense. Young girls have their precious bodies traded among eager, breaded elders and teen boys are forced into nightmares of sexual congress. Even regular Phishheads will admit that masturbation is shockingly common in their “scene.””
I would bet money that there has never been a mosh pit at a Phish show. I am a young girl. I didn’t do whatever it is you said young girls would do. Masturbation is common in EVERY “scene.” you are Completely ignorant if you believe otherwise. 89% of all males masturbate, 60% of all females do. That’s from http://www.scribd.com/mobile/documents/24363332 Notice how I site my sources like a reliable person.
So, as you can see, you are completely wrong on every aspect of this article. I am extremely disrespected by this article, and hope you see the error of your ways. Please respond to this, so I know you actually read it. Thanks so much.
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3:02 am
satire. please look it up. also your stupidity is not helping the rest of us phans
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5:27 am
Hi sport! You’re far too young to be reading a website aimed at Christian parents. Why don’t you email this to your Mom, okay? Please have her email me. I think it’s not right that you’re on the internet all alone without supervision at your age. I know you think it’s lots of fun, but we do love you and want to keep you safe from all the nasty men online trying to take advantage! Well, God bless little man and please email this to your Mom!
Your buddy, Stephenson
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10:36 am
First of all, she’s a GIRL, second, she’s 16, not 5! 16 year olds do NOT need to be supervised on the internet. They’re only 2 years away from being adults!
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5:51 pm
Claire, when you’re my age you’ll understand.
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12:58 am
No, she’d just have to slam her head into a wall until she was as retarded as you. Age has nothing to do with it, you’re just fucking stupid.
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10:59 am
Actually, I showed this article to my mom. She laughed hysterically. Sorry that I am too young to know about the Internet. I’ll go back under my rock now, and come out in two years as close minded and unable to form correct opinions for myself as you.
Oh wait, I like being able to decide for myself.
Lately I have been deciding whether or not I am in fact a Christian. You have ruined it for me. I can not possible believe in the same religion as a close-minded person like yourself.
For you to say I am too young to be on the internet by myself, are you InSANE!?!? I am not 2 years old. I can legally drive a car, but you’re saying I can’t be on the internet?! That is ridiculous.
I guess I’ll get off of here and go play in traffic, or something much safer than the Internet.
I am so disrespected by you.
Whatever you do, tak care of your shoes.
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5:54 pm
Clearly you’re an intelligent person with a lot of passion (and compassion), but why must you use all those talents to harass a nice old man who’s just trying to teach you kids something? If I had my way, you people wouldn’t get any internet until your 20, the dangerous things you do online. And don’t let that girl Claire influence. She is bad news! A real trouble maker always attacking me, me an old man! She’s practically kicking me in the kneecaps every time I walk down the street and she’s also a huge liberal tree hugger and animal rights activist. Very dangerous!
Did you know that Sarah Palin has a youth brigade? Might be fun for you little lady!
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6:43 pm
“And don’t let that girl Claire influence. She is bad news! A real trouble maker always attacking me, me an old man! She’s practically kicking me in the kneecaps every time I walk down the street”
How many times have we been over this? YOU DESERVE EVERY AMOUNT OF HATRED THAT YOU GET FROM US.
YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW.
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1:03 am
//Clearly you’re an intelligent person with a lot of passion (and compassion), but why must you use all those talents to harass a nice old man who’s just trying to teach you kids something?//
“I just want to spread racism and sexism and hatred, why is that so wrong?”
//If I had my way, you people wouldn’t get any internet until your 20, the dangerous things you do online.//
Because, clearly, the only way to learn, is to cut off access to knowledge.
//And don’t let that girl Claire influence. She is bad news! A real trouble maker always attacking me, me an old man! She’s practically kicking me in the kneecaps every time I walk down the street and she’s also a huge liberal tree hugger and animal rights activist. Very dangerous!//
“She thinks animals deserve respect and that people are equal, the madness of it all! She won’t let me have my way of telling you young people how dumb you are and how you’re worthless if you aren’t Christian!”
//Did you know that Sarah Palin has a youth brigade? Might be fun for you little lady!//
I’m sure anyone with half a brain wouldn’t go anywhere near anything Sarah Palin-related, considering how much of a failure she is.
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11:19 am
Your’re a Christian and do not cherish your environment or love animals? You’re disgracing your church and embarrassing yourself even more now.
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8:46 pm
First and for most sir, your remark about Prince Caspian couldn’t be farther from the truth. You must really do your research if you intend on writing a piece about a band that has such knowledgable followers. WE, sir, unlike yourself, not only find meaning and relate to the song but understand that it’s a poem, put to music about Prince Caspian. Again, if you had done your research on the band and not the dirty-tour-rat-scumbags that give the phish community a bad name, you would see that THE Phish, as you put it, are some of the smartest and most talented musicians around. The story of Prince Caspian is from the collection of books by, oh, I don’t know, C.L. LEWIS!! And if you don’t know who HE is and still don’t recognize Prince Caspian, how about the Chronicles of Narnia. It’s funny and I like how you were able to put a nifty little spin on the lyric by letting out that one little word, WHEAT! They are chaffing wheat. I would really like to know how you correlate this to cocaine. You sound silly and ridiculous like a freshman winging his writing assignments in college writing. I take it you failed college research writing? I understand that everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I believe it has to be an educated opinion, which your piece lacks.
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10:57 am
Its a troll dude. You have been had
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1
4:28 pm
….. And now I fell fucking retarded
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1
2:25 am
NANS
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0
2:27 am
cybercrime FTW!
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0
2:52 am
DUDE HE JUST TROLLED ALL OF YOU STUPID WOOKS!!!!!!!11one1
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1
4:38 am
Fuck it. This is clearly a joke. It better be.
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5:35 am
Stephenson Billings, I feel torn between two worlds. Walking the razors edge if you will. I’ve blown a line or two and smoked a joint while listening to “The Phish” but I feel pulled by Christ too. He is slightly less musically inclined, but oh so enticing. Which path should I choose, oh guide of this life? Christ pulls me towards goodness and the light, but the darkness of “The Phish”
seems just as good, if not groovier.
Praise or Condemn.
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0
5:55 pm
No one will love you like Christ loves you!
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4
6:20 pm
“No one will love you like Christ loves you!”
Do you realize how insulting it is to say that a fictional man supposedly “loves” people more than their actual families love them? Just because some fictional boner supposedly “died for my sins”, that means that he loves me more than my mother, who carried me for nine months, gave birth to me, and fed me from her body? He loves me more than my father, who had a hand in creating me, and who’s loved me from the moment I came into this world?
Look, fuckwad, just because your mother is an alcoholic who hates you because of what you’ve become DOES NOT mean that the rest of us don’t have real, living people who love us. You can go play in Jesus fantasy land all you want, but keep it to your pathetic little self, okay?
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8:46 am
“Stephenson Billings is an Investigative Journalist,”
Mr Stephenson,
before you write an article about a band, maybe you should “investigate” and get your facts straight. First of all the band is called “Phish” not “The Phish”. Second Mr Anastasio was not arrested for heroin he was arrested for DWI and persrciption pain killers. Last what kind of role model are Brittany Spears? and Oprah “phony” Winfrey
Mr Stephenson says> “Many successful musical acts like Britney Spears, Gwen Stefani and Josh Groban profit handsomely from studio albums and videos played on cable television stations.”
Mr Stephenson, Are you talking about that cable tv station MTV which promotes teen pregnancy and abortion, kids partying on spring break and Jersey Shore.
Get a life and stay out of others lives. Are the Phish heads really posing as much of a threat to society as your BS propaganda?
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9:36 am
We have all been fooled. Too much Wookery going on around here. THis has all been nothing more then a bunch of hand Jobery
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9:38 am
I think you god squad freaks are hilarious. This is the biggest load of B.S. I have ever read haha Jesus is a scam!
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10:15 am
if i every run into you bill… i will send u straight to hell personally.. if u know what i mean.. and yes this is a threat .. id take it very seriously Mr. billings
cause u fuked w some ppl who aren’t gonna take your slander bullshit friend.. my friend my friend hes got a knife…
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3
10:17 am
“You don’;t have the ethics to be included in the KKK you jerk.”
So you’re saying that the KKK is an ethical organization? Racist asshat.
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5:58 pm
It’s called irony. Buy a dictionary. I meant it to mean that “Comedian” is the last person who should be giving lectures on ethics. The guy is a real crud, a Californian Phishhead who lurks on the internet for girls and grass. Very nasty indeed.
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6:26 pm
“It’s called irony. Buy a dictionary. I meant it to mean that “Comedian” is the last person who should be giving lectures on ethics. The guy is a real crud, a Californian Phishhead who lurks on the internet for girls and grass. Very nasty indeed.”
You are such a fucking hypocrite. Comedian is a far more ethical person than you. Let’s see, you’re a homophobic, sexist, racist, xenophobic, cat-hating bigot who spends half his time writing hateful “articles” on whatever is pissing him off that day, and the other half dressed as a creepy clown (oh wait, that’s redundant) waiting in his rusting old van for small children to wander by. You hate the world and everyone in it because you’re a fat, ugly old fuckface who’s 53 and has never been in a relationship and because your mother has taken to the bottle because her son is a sexist dickwad who views her as inferior because she has a vagina instead of a penis.
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8:20 pm
Comedian is suffering from some personal issues that I believe require serious prayer and medical attention. The hatred in his words is representative of a paranoid schizophrenic and it worries me. I would ask that you not encourage him, Claire. Even though you’re still so very young, you should know better.
And I am neither fat nor ugly. I have so much beauty deep inside. I will show YOU someday. God bless little child.
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8:40 pm
Fat and ugly:
http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2lsv4ow&s=7
FACT
“I will show YOU someday.”
You’re just asking for a restraining order, aren’t you?
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1:15 am
//Comedian is suffering from some personal issues that I believe require serious prayer and medical attention.//
Ya know, in order to play psycho-analyst, you have to know a person first.
//The hatred in his words is representative of a paranoid schizophrenic and it worries me.//
So you believe that anyone who’s against you is just clinically insane? Huh. This coming from the tin-foil hat wearing retard who lives at home with his mother and has never touched another girl.
//I would ask that you not encourage him, Claire. Even though you’re still so very young, you should know better.//
She’s in her 20′s, she’s an adult, she can think for herself. Unlike you, who needs to follow the words of false idols that do nothing but instigate hatred, and you’re in your 50′s.
//And I am neither fat nor ugly. I have so much beauty deep inside. I will show YOU someday. God bless little child.//
HA! You’ve admitted to eating food that you shouldn’t, and how you over-do it. You admitted that you bought two tubs of ice cream and downed one in a night, and bought two cheeseburgers and defended your choices without regret.
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1:09 am
//It’s called irony. Buy a dictionary. I meant it to mean that “Comedian” is the last person who should be giving lectures on ethics. The guy is a real crud, a Californian Phishhead who lurks on the internet for girls and grass. Very nasty indeed.//
I never mentioned what I do or where I’m at, so you have no possible way of knowing who I am or where I live and such. You do nothing but make slander and libel at people you don’t know anything about. I can certainly say that I’m not Californian, nor am I fan of Phish, nor do I do drugs, and explain why I would lurk for girls on the internet if I’m already in a stable relationship? Ya see, you can’t just make stuff up and hope no one notices, because someone WILL notice, and they WILL prove you wrong, and then your whole kingdom of lies just falls on top of itself.
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10:25 pm
who doesnt surf the internet for women and weed?
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10:38 am
I think Mohandas Ghandi said it best, “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”
Whatever happened to “love thy neighbor like thyself?”
Stephen Billings, you are spreading lies and hatred. You should be ashamed of your “Christian” self. What Would Jesus Say?
Stop sending negative energy into the Universe. All we need is love…
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10:39 am
u shouldn’t lie bill.. now u got tons of upset fans trolling your page every minute.. fact is we dont care if we offend you or your Christan readers.. that being said
we will ruin ur site and all ur future articles.. just wait.. this is only the beginning
ull pay for your lies and slander.
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11:04 am
Broski, we are the ones being trolled, just like a (Ph)fish.
YOU are SO STUPID!!!!!!!
http://yank0vic.tripod.com/whelfish.jpg
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10:40 am
now u got tons of upset fans trolling your page every minute.. fact is we dont care if we offend you or your Christan readers.. that being said
we will ruin ur site and all ur future articles.. just wait.. this is only the beginning
ull pay for your lies and slander.
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6:00 pm
Bring it on, Nancy boy.
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1:18 am
Stevie, don’t fuck with the internet, you’re only asking for trouble.
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10:42 am
THERE ARE NO PHISH SONGS WITH TITLES CALLED “MARIJUANA” AND “CHRISTMAS WEED”!!!!!!!!!!! who writes this crap?!?!
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10:51 am
Enough already, Hey every one, THis is a BIG JOKE. I beleive it is called satire. Like the onion.
He is trolling all of us.
At first I was in shock and aw, and when you look closer at the web site, you will see.
Do you see????? DO YOU SEE?????
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11:08 am
WE are so stupid
The wheel of (Ph)Fish!!!
http://yank0vic.tripod.com/whelfish.jpg
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12:30 pm
This gave me a raging boner!
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12:51 pm
Man, I’ve gone to 38 Phish shows, and apparently I’m missing out on some serious fun. I’ve always given away pipe hits. Didn’t know you could trade for hasty fondling. Lmao. You have an amazing imagination.
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4:46 pm
I love Phish – saw my first show in 1996. I am truly amazed at what a horrible name these posters are giving to all lovers of The Phish.
I would suggest looking at the rest of the site before you comment you DUMB FUCKS! It’s called satire.
If the author is a fan of The Phish, then he too is probably disappointed that you fucking morons didn’t figure it out.
If the author is not a fan of The Phish, then sadly, you fucking jobless morons are proving his point!
One would hope for some kind of witty retort somewhere in the comments section, instead you have a bunch of complete douchebag wookies shooting off. It makes me sad.
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12:56 pm
This is laughable – I am a 55 year old business owner and an avid musician (drummer to be exact). I go to Phish shows whenever possible because they are great musicians – end of story. I dont go to evangelical churches because IA enjoy my dignity and my ability to think for myself. Your assertions about Phish shows are immature, ill conceived and small minded. Don’t confuse some people’s lack of self control as being a result of listening to a band. Who annoited you as the overlord of ethics and behavior. Stop the nonsense in the name of your cause.Its absurd . . . .
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1:10 pm
Thank you for opening my eyes to the evils of ignorance! To think that we Jews have been dealing with your kind for centuries. Bid you to have any spike, Mon?
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1:11 pm
This is the funniest thing I’ve seen since “Reefer Madness”! My black ass loves “The Phish”!
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1:54 pm
as a fellow antique bottle collector, i am ashamed to be involved in the same righteous hobby as this creep.
ps- can i cancel my son’s party that has Stephensen as its Motivational Children’s Party Entertainer?
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6:05 pm
Hi Jimbo! Do you keep yours on the window sill? I love watching the sunlight through my collection. I also have many non-dug bottles from the 19th century, blues, greens and even lavender! Very exciting and welcome to the hobby my friend!
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6:16 pm
Reading, what’s that?
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2:30 pm
Everything the author has stated is TRUE. I was part of THE PHISH cult for seven years. At the tender age of sixteen I was thrown into a crowded mosh pit at my first the phish concert. In my first experience outside in the parking lot I seen many people masterbating everywhere. Prostitutes, blood-drinking, and even a dead corpse on the pavement. I met an older man who wanted to be my friend, and I had none. I was fed hardcore drugs, such as marijuana and laughing gas. I quickly became addicted as I continued to follow the devil cult. My worst experience was in a dirty, fecal stained hotel room in san-francisco. I was so intoxicated that I allowed thirty grown men to penetrate me brutally. They were yelling and violent with my tender bottom. I was so high off of what they called whippits that I didn’t even know what I was doing. I woke up in a pool of blood, and covered in stranger’s semen. It was then Jesus Christ the Lord God Almighty of Heaven and Earth spoke to me, lifting me out of my darkness and giving me redemption. This devil cult MUST BE STOPPED. We cannot allow this evil to befall us, and our children.
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6:06 pm
It’s good to see that some people make it out alive. I hope you are thriving now my friend!
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6:50 pm
“It’s good to see that some people make it out alive.”
Wish the same could be said about the group of 5 year old boys in your basement…
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7:57 pm
you have to be held accountable for your actions unless they forced you to do drugs i really dont want to hear it. if you cant go there and stay in control of what you eat or smoke or huff whatever then your the problem not the drugs or band or anyone else. you cant protect everyone by making more and more laws you have to know what you are doing and have to know when to say no.
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2:33 pm
this author is so painfully detached from reality its not funny. this entire article is a fabrication of what the phish experience actually is. the article is a blatant lie! i have been listening to phish for 15 years and i have never had so much fun in my life. they are one of the best things that have ever happened to me. i have been raised with the best set of parents on the planet and they have both taught me to make smart decisions. phish is not the problem. the individual who decides to do drugs is the problem. i cant believe that the author can and sit there and say that these four guys (phish) are out to corrupt children and force drugs down their throat. the author is a damn idiot. he is talking about something he knows nothing about, which is a common problem in this country. he is mad at phish because the invisible man in the sky ( who may or may not exist) has an imaginary list of things you shouldn’t do. this guy is a fucking joke. get in tune with reality you fucking loser. go jerk off to the cross asshole.
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6:02 pm
I thought this was a joke. Bouncing Round the Room is not about a man brutally beating his woman while on a drug binge. It’s one of my favorite songs and comes perilously close to pop music (considering it’s Phish). This is like something straight out of Footloose – older man who is becoming more and more detached from reality and more and more marginalized by society lashes out at the “dang kids.” Unfortunately, half of this is downright slander and could be actionable by the band. Sure – a lot of kids at the concerts experiment with drugs. I could say that about half the bands out there, though, and every concert performed in the eighties. Drugs don’t do people, people do drugs. I’m sure most of his audience thinks guns don’t kill people. It’s hypocritical to apply a different rule here.
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2:54 pm
Phish makes my panties wet every time!
And whats wrong with masturbation?
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3:01 pm
“Any group of people that makes such a calculated effort to insert itself into the lives of the innocent should surely raise the eyebrows of concerned parents.”
Now that’s a hypocritical statement… look at your churches practices and tell me that you don’t do the same… who is to say that your message and goals are any more relevant or right than those of “the phish”. If I were a parent I would be more worried about my child becoming absorbed in Christianity than attending a music concert. No group in the entire world spends more money than the Christian Church does on brainwashing people and pushing their own private agenda. Who are you to tell anyone what is right or wrong for them???
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3:07 pm
Oh man, this thread is almost as funny as the article. God love you, Phish fans.
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3:11 pm
Phellow phans, lets not give this idiot too much attention. He can’t even get the band’s name correct, so he obviously did no research for this “story”. I bet he even believes somebody lived in a whale’s gut for 3 days.
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3:18 pm
Don’t criticize what you can’t understand. Maybe if you actually went to a show and paid attention to the music instead of the chaos around you, you would feel what real Phish fans feel.. an energy so strong it is beyond the reach of words. Trey (among other members of the band) have been on record saying they play for God (or a divine being in the sky, however you personally interpret it) and its something that you would see if you looked beyond the wook-ey fans, the drugs and the exterior appearance. Aren’t you Christians always preaching inner beauty anyway? Their music is beautiful. I don’t always advocate what happens in the lot, but its part of the scene. You take the good with the bad. That’s life buddy, and Phish (not THE Phish for the record) has taught me more and connected me more to God than I ever had been in 20 years of going to church and pretending to be a Christian.
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6:08 pm
Many kids get dosed and kidnapped into this lifestyle. There’s no chance I’d risk that by going to a concert. And now that I wrote this investigative article, these Phishheads seriously have it out for me. I am afraid to leave my house without a disguise.
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6:19 pm
//Many kids get dosed and kidnapped into this lifestyle.//
Proof, numbers, sources, you have any of those?
//There’s no chance I’d risk that by going to a concert.//
“Me? Do some actual research or even investigate? Me, an investigative journalist? Preposterous, I just have to make up shit and I’ll be right 100% of the time!”
//And now that I wrote this investigative article, these Phishheads seriously have it out for me. I am afraid to leave my house without a disguise.//
You never leave your house in the first place, not unless the goal is to stuff your fat face with another couple cheeseburgers without remorse.
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3:52 pm
Ummm….i won’t get into arguing the merits, or lack thereof, of your assertions. I will however give you a moment to start to correct some of the blatant mis-truths.
Let’s start with paragraph two, and your huge LIES.
1. Phish has never written a song, or performed any songs named “Marijuana” or “A Christmas without weed”…go on, look it up…YOU LIED.
2. “Prince Caspian” has nothing to do with cocaine, it is in reference to THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA series of books…you buffoon.
Please knowledge your at best misprints before we move on to the rest of your LIES.
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3:57 pm
Maybe you’ve already addressed this, but just didn’t correct your article.
Paragraph II:
the song “Marijuana” is neither written, nor performed by Phish. (LIBEL)
the song “A Christmas Without Weed” is neither written, nor performed by Phish. (LIBEL)
the song “prince caspian” is an homage to the Chronicle of Narnia series, and there is NO evidence of any reference to cocaine whatsoever.
Let’s just start with that, and if you can somehow recognize your own LIBEL you would probably be best served to write a retraction.
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6:11 pm
I look forward to my day in court and my ultimate vindication.
On a side note, I do find it fascinating that you “anti-authority” types run crying and screaming about your rights and the court system once someone steps on your toes by exposing the truth. In the old days, you kids used to be terrified by the police (“the fuzz”). Did you know they have drug dogs and body scanners at the courts? I doubt you people will even pass a security checkpoint, let alone enter a valid legal argument before a judge. Simply pathetic.
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6:25 pm
//I look forward to my day in court and my ultimate vindication.//
“Even with the vast amounts of evidence against me, I will win! God said I would! I’m his favorite, you hear me? HIS FAVORITE!” and cue angry fist shake.
//On a side note, I do find it fascinating that you “anti-authority” types run crying and screaming about your rights and the court system once someone steps on your toes by exposing the truth.//
And how are these people anti-authority types? Do you just lump everyone who’s under 30 into the same pot and think that one or two bad apples represent the millions of good ones still left? And you don’t like it when we generalize?
//In the old days, you kids used to be terrified by the police (“the fuzz”).//
One generation is not the same as the old, stop making generalizations you pissant.
//Did you know they have drug dogs and body scanners at the courts? I doubt you people will even pass a security checkpoint, let alone enter a valid legal argument before a judge. Simply pathetic.//
This coming from the retard who believes in magic and fairy tales and can’t tell the difference between fantasy and reality.
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4:13 pm
I just asked Jesus if he loves Trey and he said yes:) Jesus loves The Phish!!!!
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4:24 pm
Billings. Blaming the band itself is radical. Youre article makes sense, yet blaming them for the arrests, the generalization that they are a “Drug” band is irresponsible. All 4 are family oriented, cheerful and love their jobs. They cater to a crowd of people that enjoy music that they play. The drug arrests, and drugs seized at these shows have nothing to do with the concert itself. “Lot” scene mayhem is regulated and there are leeches and transient people that flock to the “countercultural” aspect of a Phish show. However, blaming the band (instead of the people bringing the drugs) is like blaming a pencil for mispelling words, a gun for shooting someone, a knife for cutting someone, or a car for wrecking. People have been given the privilege of free spirit, free action and free will. There is an upside to everything. While you account the band for drug use, arrests, and mayhem, our government (state and federal) continue to reap the benefits of a corrupt system where they profit from limiting a persons individual rights. Also, talking about Trey’s drug arrest is irresponsible as well. Steven Tyler is currently judging American Idol, a show that influences millions of teens a year. Yet, Mr. Tyler openly talks about his perscription drug abuse in which he recently got out of rehab. This man openly admits to snorting “any drug I can get my hands on. Its what I do,” and yet hes is happy awarded a free pass in the press. This article, while you feel good about your malrepresentation of the band, is simply internet trash. Ive been to 100s of Phish shows and consider myself a devote christian. My faith has never once been in question because of my taste in music. I have been arrested before in my youth for making bad decisions (non of which happened because of drugs or a Phish show). I still enjoy EVERY aspect of the band. You, Sir, need to understand that while we PHISH HEADS comment on this thread, you havent sparked a nerve. We have dealt with this for years. Dont flatter yourself by thinking you have uproared a culture of people that think you need to take your mouth, and staple it shut. We pity those who dont seize life and dont have enough self awareness to be themselves, whether they chose to do drugs, or choose to listen to the music we love and let the wind decide for us. I personally think you just make “us” (the Phish heads you speak of) even more glad we arent like you. You are the type of person we want nothing to do with. For that sir, I thank you.
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6:00 pm
So many people saying “This is Satire”, etc… If it’s satire, then wow.. If this is someone being misguided and completely wrong then well… Here’s what i have to say….
Good sir, Your ramblings are completely off. I started listening to Phish many years ago and got into them because of the music. I’ve been to 21 shows now and all because of the music and what an experience it is from night to night. Yes there are people who take drugs and can’t handle themselves. I think these people can potentially ruin a good experience for some. But a lot of your claims are just ridiculous. To me this sounds uneducated, not researched, and so biased you can’t even see through the fog you have created here. Your interpretation of their lyrics so so off I was shocked at what you were insinuating.
Reading the responses, “B” had something quite interesting to say ““Any group of people that makes such a calculated effort to insert itself into the lives of the innocent should surely raise the eyebrows of concerned parents.”
Oh, the irony!”
Honestly, that is very ironic. Now I don’t condemn religion, and I’m not a religious person myself. But there’s a lot of irony in what you say. And it sucks to see people get so wrapped up in their “religion” that they do exactly what you say. Christianity is completely responsible for all those things you mentioned “…makes a calculated effort to insert itself into the lives of “the innocent”…” While at the base I can accept most religions teaching good morals, and hopefully help people live a better life. But there are people like you, Mr. Billings sir, that give religion a bad name. And on top of that, this article is lacking research, and any real sound basis.
Here’s a list of positive things I’ve encountered at many Phish shows:
* Good music that changes from night to night and brought to us by 4 extremely talented musicians.
* A large community of people within the Phish fan base that have pledged sobriety at shows
* A community of volunteers that attend shows and help clean up afterward (And for your information, when Phish played at the Big Cypress Seminal Indian Reservation for New Years Eve 1999-2000 they left the place extremely clean. Plus the Seminal Indian tribe was so pleased, they have been invited back because of the very positive experience)
* Phish (it’s organization and fans) is constantly promoting and taking part in philanthropic works which include a numerous amount of different foundations and causes to which money is donated.
Remember Phish tours because their fans love their music and because the experience of a Live show far outweighs the experience you get from a single recording. Add on top of that the improvisation you see at a live show, it makes for an unforgettable experience.
You know, you mention the whole drug thing and how the Guitarist from Phish had his bout. Well, he did and he’s rehabilitated and as a result, is playing and sounding better than ever. I’ll give you one name from christian/right wing community. Rush Limbaugh. Guess what he was a huge abuser of prescription pills (i.e. Oxycontin and a numerous others). Oh many Christians tend to forget former President George W. Bush’s cocaine use. There’s so much hypocrisy across the board that it makes me sick. It’s one of the reasons I’m sick of today’s American politics and bullshit posturing/pandering going on.
Sir, I say this in the best way possible: Shame on you for condemning a community that supports the expression of fellowship, and love for thy neighbor. Shouldn’t you follow suit?
P.s. before you go on to think I’m just some fan trying to rabble rouse. I’m a Masters Graduate w/ a High (3.5+) GPA. I’ve been listening to phish for 15 years and have always put the music first. I’ve had nothing but positive experiences at a shows and am very responsible w/ my actions.
Again, please do some more research before putting out this extremely defaming article about something you clearly know little about and only speak what fallacy you have heard.
Peace be with you and your loved ones.
Praise or Condemn:
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6:20 pm
My friend, oh my muddled headed friend!
First of all, the church has only shown love for our people and we are people of faith so don’t say we’re not as trustworthy as a rock and roll bank trawling the country for innocent, fresh-faced teens bursting with hormonal confusion. That’s just sick!
The Phish is profoundly untalented. As I have described in detail above, their work is confusing and absurd. It’s also upsetting. The drugs have led to a mass delusion on the part of their fans.
So what, these people clean? Did you ever think they’re trying to cover their butts for the extreme orgies they’re throwing? Maybe they’re so good at hiding these criminal events that’s the reason they get more and more indulgent and crazy. Don’t be afraid of the truth here!
I don’t buy the idea that this band tours “because they love the music.” The could make perfectly nice music in a studio. In fact, it would be far superior. It would be perfectly and harmonious. Who needs the crowd cheering and interrupting on a recording?
As for you, young man. I know you might have gotten some decent grades in school, but what about your eternal soul? What about your Mom and Dad? Do you even care that they cry each night worrying about your radical liberal lifestyle? You’re destroying America, my friend.
Well, I hope this settles things for you! God bless and be well little guy!
Stephenson Billings
Investigative Journalist
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5
6:40 pm
//My friend, oh my muddled headed friend!//
You have no friends, just admit this and you can stop crying in a corner.
//First of all, the church has only shown love for our people and we are people of faith so don’t say we’re not as trustworthy as a rock and roll bank trawling the country for innocent, fresh-faced teens bursting with hormonal confusion. That’s just sick!//
Ah, so the church only cares about it’s people, even though Jesus said that shit like that don’t fly. Also, you have yet to prove anything about the band, you just throw around accusations for the hell of it because you think “rock and roll is teh devil”.
//The Phish is profoundly untalented. As I have described in detail above, their work is confusing and absurd. It’s also upsetting. The drugs have led to a mass delusion on the part of their fans.//
As you muttered to yourself one day while taking a dump is more like it. You made up lyrics and songs and completely twisted the meanings of the actual songs, nor can you prove that it’s solely because of them that their fans do drugs, even though that’s a problem at EVERY band’s concert, REGARDLESS of who it is.
//So what, these people clean? Did you ever think they’re trying to cover their butts for the extreme orgies they’re throwing?//
Wow, and you say we throw out crazy conspiracy theories. Stevie, you’ve got no proof on that one whatsoever. You’re doing nothing but blaming a band for the problems that their fans cause. Phish isn’t telling their fans to go have crazy orgies and do drugs, you just think they do because you hate anything new and you want it gone. You want to remove their Freedom of Speech because you hate rock and roll, just admit this already.
//Maybe they’re so good at hiding these criminal events that’s the reason they get more and more indulgent and crazy. Don’t be afraid of the truth here!//
Seriously, go see a therapist, you’ve just gone straight to crazy town.
//I don’t buy the idea that this band tours “because they love the music.” The could make perfectly nice music in a studio. In fact, it would be far superior. It would be perfectly and harmonious. Who needs the crowd cheering and interrupting on a recording?//
It’s called ‘social interaction’ Stevie, look into it. Some bands actually LIKE their fans and love touring to see their faces as they cheer for the music. Some bands actually talk to their fans and like seeing the community that cares about their creation.
//As for you, young man. I know you might have gotten some decent grades in school, but what about your eternal soul? What about your Mom and Dad?//
So listening to rock and roll sends you to Hell? Just admit it Stevie, you hate rock and roll, and you’re still apart of the crowd that thought KISS had something to do with Satan. You’re just using a relatively newer band, or at least one that’s still around, as your figure for your hate.
//Do you even care that they cry each night worrying about your radical liberal lifestyle? You’re destroying America, my friend.//
Prove how liberals are destroying America. Prove how the reduction of rights and the violation of basic freedoms is what America needs.
//Stephenson Billings
Investigative Journalist//
Once again, you’re a hack Stevie. Now shut up and go color on the walls.
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6:20 pm
Blaming music on the way yur kids act… This is so old. Wrong parenting, ignoring your kids, not being involved with them is what leads them to drugs. I grew up listening to morbid angel, and other crazy death metal bands.
But i knew my mom loved me, she showed me much love and accepted me for the music i loved. Thats what kept me on the right path. Accept your kids for what they are and like to do, be supportive.
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6:27 pm
Dear Mr. Billings:
I would appreciate knowing your perspective and critique of volume 14 of The Brahphecy. Below contains pertinent dates, timeline, and quotes from the book as it was written in the ancient scrolls.
————
may 2004 – Trey announces breakup with “We’re Done” letter.
june 04 after spac set trey says to mike “if we could play like this every night, i would play forever”
june 04 – phish melts faces
july 04 – trey does interview in philly, says he’s wondering if he did the right thing… completely falls off wagon.
july 04- trey does interview in guitarworld saying that “Phish” is done , but they could possibly in the future play as a new band with new material, coins the term “Phowl”.
august 04 – funeral tour, Coventry rain/mud = “God says no”
05 – trey’s downward spiral, rehab tour : Shine / 70 Voltz / Zooma, etc.
May 05- Mike and Trey play “old habits” together in new orleans
05- Trey starts to back peddle on “we’re done” in interviews, leaving the future more open…
november 05- albany palace grafiti incident, “Fuck the lizards, Fuck Tela…” etc, pic2
november 05- trey starts playing a lot more phish songs in his shows
nov. 05- page joins trey for a handful of phish songs at a trey show. from the stage, trey calls the pairing “Halfway There”
novmeber 05- Utica : Fish joins trey and mike on stage for a 3/4 Divided Sky. this event was hyped by a “Countdown” on trey’s website, with a mushroom cloud explosion image. page was in the audience, but allgedly did not want to facilitate a “reuinion” at that time..
december 05- Cup throwing Incident – trey warns audience that he’s been talking to Page and Fish and Mike and they are all “HAppy and Healthy”.
december 05- Mike and Trey play as trio Serial Pod with Bill Kreutzmann for two one-set performances that included Chalkdust Torture and an 18 minute Waves.
july 06- GRAB in Vermont – Trey, Mike and Page share stage for rollicking cover of The Who – Who Are You…fireworks ensue. Also at the 7/11/06 Grab show, moby dick is teased (7/11/00)
july 06- grab tour: trey and mike play willie nelsons “On the Road again”
September 06- Hurricane Ernesto strikes florida and east coast, doing a lot of damage and killed a few dozen. Hurricane Ernesto also hit Moe. Down 7 where 3/4 of phish were playing that weekend. (all but Ernesto himself)
September 06- Hood blimp crashes in massachusettes pic 1, pic 2
september 06- Hurricane/Tropical Storm Gordon hits
September 06 – Page and Fish play together for a set of new songs at moedown. mike and ramble dove also played the festival
september 06- trey does multiple interviews saying “we’re not necessarily done” and “i would love to play again”… and “there comes a time when you want to do certain things again…” etc etc etc
september 06- Trey has Fish, Page and Mike over to his house in VT for dinner and a secret meeting.
october 06- Trey does ‘phish hour’ with Tom on Sirius Radio, full of allusions to Phuture…plusthe first time The Book is publically spoken of by it’s actual name -
Kneuyarta, written by The Great and Knowledgeable Icculus.
october 06- “reba chant” breaks out at trey show…trey smiles and says “be patient”
november 06- string cheese announces break up
november 06- fish moves back to vt
november 06- populist bernie sanders (VT) wins seat in senate. mike and fish played a concert to support him summer 06 called honky tonk the vote
november 06- annoucment of **February 7th** date for special interview with trey…with tickets being sold.
november 06- Inlaw Josie Wales played during segment of Monday Night Football on nbc during eagles game
december 06- Trey arrested in Whitehall, NY: hydrocodone,percacet,xanax, suspended liscence. trey’s mugshot
december 06- Trey busts out Alumni Blues, Buried Alive and other assorted phish songs on his nye TAB run, including an acoustic Makisupa…keyword: Whitehall
january 07- it is revealed that Trey also had heroin in the car at the time of his arrest, and faces possible felony charges.
january 07- sirius jam 17 station: warren haynes wife says that there were rumblings about Phish SUmmer 07 circulating…
FEB 07 – Trey indicted on felony drug charges
FEB 07 Greenhaus publishes groundbreaking news article “At What Price?”
FEB 07 – Special Trey interview in NYC with tickets sold, acoustic performance, trey says he would be the “happiest man in the room” when phish comes back. 1 year timeline based on mike and page according to trey
April 07- Trey pleads guilty, sentenced under the drug court program, trey will spend 12 to 15 months making weekly court appearances. He will also be subject to drug testing and will have to perform community service. Judge Kelly S. McKeighan postponed sentencing until Anastasio completes the program. If he’s successful, Anastasio will be on five years’ probation; if not, he could get three years in prison.
April 07- Mike says he’s spent the year so far writing new music
APRIL 07 Jesse Jarnow loses an eyeball
APRIL 07 Page performs Strange Design solo as the encore at his show in nyc
June 07 Page plays Velvet Sea and Coil outro at his show
July 07 Springfield VT hosts the premiere of the Simpsons movie, Page plays the event and is joined on stage with Mike for a few tunes. CTB is played. video
Aug 07 Trey plays on stage for the first time since his sentencing. SPAC Dave Matthews show. Does some shredding.
Aug 07 Antelope Greg punches microwave at Biscuits Show, bloodies hand and detained by security.
Aug 07 According to Fishman, Phish has been playing together in secret in Saratoga where trey is living near his probation officer
Oct 07 Trey has songwriting session with Tom
Oct 07 Trey plays with Phil for full show, Trey sings line in Bertha “Test me Test me, why dont you arrest me” , as well as an emotional Wharf Rat
Oct 07 – “The Breakfast” plays phish album LawnBoy for halloween and are later joined by a masked Mike Gordon for the encore ( “I Will Survive”).
Nov 07 Fluffhead sign gets absurd amount of screentime on ESPN college gameday
pic also on youtube.
NOV 07 – Rumor mill is churning in high gear as a slew of new rumors circulate about “you know what”.
Dec 07 Hood Truck Milk-Leak Disaster caught on film. link to pic
Jan 08 – Trey jailed for 3 days for “missing a session”.
Jan 08 “Maze” used as background music to TV coverage of the X Games
May 08 Fuckerpants coming to the big screen (Prince Caspian)[note for newbs]
May 08 Mike and Page jam together at Jazzfest
May 08 CK interview mentions new Trey projects, Kuroda will be done with prior commitments to Black Crowes and Aerosmith December 08
MAY 08 Wook Phish Phan and PT’er WreckDM catches homerun ball and does wookie dance wearing a phish tshirt on national tv.
video jumbotron screen capture
May 08 All four members of Phish accept the Lifetime Acheivement Award at the Jammy’s…Trey gets a little emotional…Members of the Disco Biscuits and Dumphrees McGee play a mini set of Phish songs including Antelope, Wilson, 2001.
MAY 08 Fishman gives drum clinic at “Del Fest”… can’t remember how to play Limb by Limb, gives up after trying for 5 minutes to remember the beat.
May 08 After successful completion of the drug program, Trey’s charges were reduced to a misdemeanor
MAY 08 Trey says in Rolling STone: ” “When Phish broke up, I made some comment about how I’m not gonna go around playing ‘You Enjoy Myself’ for the rest of my life,” Anastasio said with a laugh. “And it’s so funny because Fish and Mike and Page have been talking to each other a lot lately and now — it’s not that I can’t believe that I said that, but its symbolic of how much I lost my mind or how much I lost my bearings or something. Because at this point in time I would give my left nut to play that song five times in a row every day until I die. ”
May 08 Tom Marshall interview reveals “Trey is back” “bright eyed and bushy tailed” and trey and tom have been writing new music together (15 new songs).
June 08 Rumor /Billboard Article/Glide Magazine artile mention new Phish studio album in works with producer Steve Lillywhite (billy breathes)
June 08 Phish releases walnet creek 97 dvd including “LEFT NUT” bonus disc.
June 08 Trey graduates from Drug Court
June 08 Page posts “We’re not so done” letter on phish.com
July 08 Rothbury Festival over 4th of July weekend (corresponds to PH rumor mill), Mike, Fish and Trey confirmed to appear seperately
Aug/Sept 08 Rumor mill churning out of control, quotes from the band such as “The Rumors are True”, etc
September 08 Phish plays 3 songs at Brad Sands wedding Sands Wedding Setlist 9/6/08
Julius, Suzy, Waste
September 08 Hampton Dates officially announced March 6,7,8 2009
great pic of cnn ticker courtesy of kentalope
September 08 MTV.com news page literally states “The Brahphecy has been Fullfilled” link to MTV “brahphecy” article
Jan 09 Phish announces SUMMER TOUR DATES
Jan 09 Rumors swirl about the all-but-confirmed Bonaroo…Phish to headline two nights.
Jan 09 Rumors continue to swirl about a second leg to the summer tour including shows at Red Rocks and the Gorge
aerial photo of Page in lear jet scoping out sites for the next Phish festival
— quotes:
“We’re Done” – april 04
“”Just the fact that it would make so many people happy to see us play would make me happy. Phish was kind of about the fans. We know people would be really happy [to see a reunion]; nothing would make me happier than watching them be happy.” –trey 06
” And when you play with a lot of [other] musicians, you really gain even deeper appreciation for how great those [Phish] guys are when they’re gone. There’s some things only they can do, and you reach a point where you want to do it with them again. So, we’ll see.” –trey 06
“”This proves my old theory that we could have played for a few more decades.” -cactus jammies april 05
May 06 “As for a Phish reunion, Gordon agrees with Anastasio on one point: “Everybody’s
getting along really well. There’s no reason it couldn’t happen.”"
“”it would be really cool, for phish to play again…and open the first show with this…so… uhhhh…” — Trey said this, then played “Birdwatcher” the last song phish recorded for the undermind sessions. from Sirius radio October 06
“”I hang onto this hope that I can play with Phish again-if everybody goes back in with a bristling sense of urgency. Phish is an improvisational band, and it could come back to us, steeped with emotions.” — trey september 06
this long clip is from a 10/06 article:
“While listening to a pop radio station playing the likes of Shakira and Natasha Bedingfield, “Tweezer,” a song from Phish’s “Picture of Nectar,” came on.
Anastasio laughs as he remembers his daughter asking him incredulously, “Is that you?” while the song played.
Adding to the fun of the moment, a line in the song about Uncle Ebeneezer started fits of giggles among the girls that spread to Anastasio, too.
“I heard the song through the ears of these young people. It gave me new perspective on the song.”
Anastasio says being able to sit back and enjoy the simple interplay between the musicians was something he had to share with his former bandmates, and ended up calling them the next day.
“I couldn’t believe I was having fun to a Phish song,” he said, laughing.//
If and when we find ourselves standing next to each other on stage it will be with the utmost joy and sense of gratitude.”
” “Recently, for the first time since our last show, everybody got
back together. I had a big feast at my house in Vermont–just the four of us–with huge crab legs and pasta and eighteen bottles of wine and a big bonfire.” -trey 06
also, this quote from Brad Sands interview on jambands Feb. 06-
“It got to the point where he didn’t want to do it. His heart
wasn’t in this stuff—whether it will be again or not, probably, yes but it wasn’t at the time”.
“”He’s a real nice guy,” the chief said. “He said ‘You know what, I’ve got a
problem and I’ve got to take care of it. Everything happens for a reason.’”- whitehall police cheif
” “I feel terrible about what happened last night, and I am deeply sorry for any embarrassment I have caused my friends, family and fans,” – trey dec.06
“”No tapers as i could see. They were VERY VERY strict on taking picture and recording. However i did see one idiot get his bowl taken away.”– phan at trey interview 07
“I’ll say this: if and when Phish plays our first show back, I will be the happiest person in the room.” — trey 07 interview
“I’ll see you next week” — Judge Kelly S. McKeighan
April 07 – npr interview “a reunion of phish has never been out of the question as far as i was concerned, ever. though we dont play together. its such a part of my life i still find it difficult to say i WAS in phish… i still consider my self in it, even though there is no phisih right now currently. mike and i get together and play chess once a week or so…
I feel maybe foir the first time in a while it seems like a possibility, and it seems like a possibility thats not in the immediate future.” — Page
————-
“From my perspective, he’s[Trey] done very well in the program. He’s been moving right along and is on track to graduate,” assistant district attorney Tony Jordan
“It’s spilling out of us. We’re both look wide-eyed when something meshes up because it’s meshing up a lot better these days then it did when we were under the fog, under the haze We’re not in the haze. We’re just moving forward, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
Reforming something like (Phish) has so many pieces, it’s a very complex, three-dimensional, four-dimensional, jigsaw puzzle,” said Marshall, adding “No one wants Phish back more than Trey.”” tom june 08
“All the rumors are true” – Mike 08
“They were destined to play music
together again, and the “brahphecy” has been fulfilled. Be prepared
for a full tour announcement in the coming months and (fingers
crossed) an end-of-summer festival”- MTV News.com 08
Revelation Revelation 5:4
“And I wept much, because no man was found worthy to open and to READ THE BOOK, neither to look thereon.”
Ezekiel 47:10
“The fish will be of many kinds”
Zephaniah 1:9-11
“On that day,” declares the Lord,
“a cry will go up from the Fish Gate,
wailing from the New Quarter,
and a loud crash from the hills.”
Isaiah 66:24
“for their Worm shall not die, neither shall their fire be quenched”
Daniel 12:1
“And at that time shall Michael stand up, the great prince which standeth for the children of thy people: and there shall be a time of trouble, such as never was since there was a nation even to that same time: and at that time thy people shall be delivered, every one that shall be found written in THE BOOK.”
Hebrews 8:7-8
“For if there had been nothing wrong with that first Covenant, no place would have been sought for another. But God found fault with the people and said: “The time is coming, declares the Lord, when I will make a New Covenant”
Genesis 1:20
“And God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and (Ph)owl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven.”
Psalm 40:2-3
“He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the Mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a New Song in my mouth”
Acts 13:3-4
“So they, being sent forth by the holy Ghost, departed unto Seleucia; and from thence they sailed to Cypress.
And when they were at Salamis(meaststicks), they preached the word ”
—————-
Psalm 136:7
“who made the great lights- His love endures forever. ”
recent interview with Chris Kuroda:
Dan: When the call comes, are you on board?
Chris: Oh yeah! Are you kidding me? (laughs) Is that some kinda joke??
Dan: (laughs) I just wanna put it on the record!
Chris: I believe everyone knows where my passions lie, and that’s with Phish.
——————
Isaiah 51:20
“Your sons have fainted; they lie at the head of every street, like antelope caught in a net. They are filled with the wrath of the Lord and the rebuke of your God.”
Matthew 24:10
“At that time many will turn away from the phaith and will beTrey and hate each other,”
Revelation 5:8-9
8And when he had taken the book, the four beasts and four and twenty elders fell down before the Lamb, having every one of them harps, and golden vials full of odours, which are the prayers of saints.
9And they sung a new song, saying, Thou art worthy to take the book, and to open the seals thereof:
——————-
Revelation 16: 17-18
17And the seventh angel poured out his vial into the air; and there came a great voice out of the temple of heaven, from the throne, saying, It is done.
18And there were voices, and thunders, and lightnings; and there was a great earthquake, such as was not since men were upon the earth, so mighty an earthquake, and so great.
Praise or Condemn:
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6:42 pm
The person who wrote this article is obviously a poor and close-minded reporter who did not do their research.
First of all, they couldn’t even get the bands name right. it is not “The Phish” you IDIOT, it’s just “Phish”
Second of all, not all who go to these phish shows are “hippies,” if you actually attended a phish concert (like a normal, more educated person who would write an article/review) would see that there are ALL types of people at a Phish show, businessmen, young professionals, preppy people, JEWS ( or DEVILS as you would most likely call them…) This is one of the great things about them, they support COMMUNITIES of all different sorts, unlike you Christians who only support each other obviously and anyone else who doesn’t follow your lifestyle is a devil who tries to convert people to their cause.
AND maybe Trey was caught with drugs, but he is now SOBER. WHAT ABOUT FORGIVENESS? ISN”T THAT ONE OF OUR BELIEFS??
Mike Gordon (the bassist) does not even TOUCH drugs. DO SOME RESEARCH YOU IDIOT!
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6:49 pm
Well sir, your article is quite frankly full of ignorance, paranoia, absurdity, and a false sense of self-righteousness. Music can alter people’s mood this is true. However it does not send them on drug-crazed rampages. Sex, drugs, and Rock N Roll, have been a staple of world culture, for atleast 60 years, I thought the “hippie paranoia” ended when Nixon left office. In all honesty your article truely is ridiculous, do concerts get a little crazy? Yes, sometimes. But not every concert and certainly not everyone attending that concert. It’s honestly unfathomable how someone who also calls themself a Christian, can be so judgmental and bias towards others, just because you do not agree with the way they are living their life. I’ve noticed you’ve gotten quite abit of negative feedback. Now let’s assume this isn’t the only article that you’ve gotten negative feedback on, let’s just assume. Perhaps this website should consider being, more humble and compassionate. Maybe if they would look at themselves before they point fingers at others. Do unto others, is basically what I’m saying. As for it affecting the children. Well if parents would actually take time to raise and discipline their children properly, then alot of kids wouldn’t act the way they act.
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6:52 pm
Stephenson,
That weekend i came down from heaven to take you to a The Phish show was supposed to be our little secret. Kinda like you and father Larry’s secret, you know, don’t tell or god will be upset. Last thing i need is my pops to get all pissy cause im ditching Purgatory duty to check out The Phish at MSG. I mean, your a great soldier for the war against fun and all, but angering dirty hippies is the start of the famed 2012 event. That’s right my dad planned it all out; The Phish will be playing on a Mayan step pyramid and right in the middle of the mud pit, dreadlock orgy a crack in the earth will appear and the ground will open wide. Terrible noises will be heard from the crack as the Devil climbs from the depths of hell to be reunited with his brethren Trey, Mike, Page and John. Once Satan takes his place on stage with his golden fiddle (Johnny didn’t win, Daniels is a liar) the true end will begin. They will play Dr. Gable and on the final note the earth will explode into infinity. THIS, Mr. Billings, we need to prevent. Go on fearless soldier and do what my dad meant for you.
Peace,
J.C.
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7:36 pm
Dear Mr. Billings,
As a devout Christian, I try my best to exemplify the qualities of Christ in my own life. Love, compassion, honesty, acceptance, right action, right livlihood, these are just a few of the attributes of Christ. I am always disappointed and saddened when I lay witness to people who call themselves Christian but do not attempt to follow the example set by Jesus Christ. I am further disturbed by people who seem to cite these qualities using a double standard, accepting people who conform to their own ideas, yet defaming and judging any others who do not conform. As a Christian, as an American, as a loving, compassionate person, I am especially disappointed to see another person compromise any and all Christian values to promote hate, bigotry, and unacceptance. This is not the True Christian Way. It is not hopeless for you Bill, there is still time in this lifetime to redeem yourself and attempt to exemplify the qualities of Christ in your own life. Acceptance of others and compassion for the folly of others is at the core of what Jesus taught. You sir, are no Christian.
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8:00 pm
The Phish is the devil, they are devout Satanists promoting filthy group sex orgies, masterbation, patchouli-stained rapings, heedless substance abuse, and the degradation of youth and our culture. Have YOU ever woke up with fecal stains on your chin, a bloodied rectum, and strangers semen strewn across the walls?
May Jesus Christ the Lord of Lords the Only Savior of our Land Our God save us from this abhorrent monstrosity.
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8:02 pm
You say that I do not represent Christianity, you say that I am outside of the mainstream, you label me a radical, but are you truly so blind to the passion of Evangelicals in America today? I’m not alone, in fact I’m part of a very large community that people like you pretend do not exist. My journalism follows closely the work of Dr James Dobson who created one of the most successful faith-based organizations in this country, helping families deal with the crises of pornography, sexuality and drug addiction. Have you never heard of Focus on the Family?
My reading of the Bible and my dedication to Christ’s Words are wholly in line with what Evangelicals are preaching all across this great country. I fight against the “deviancy cabal” drawing directly on the Biblical teachings of renowned scholars like the Reverends Bryan Fischer, Lou Engle, Rick Joyner, Estus Pirkle and Joel Osteen to name but a few. I also am a fervent supporter of the Reverend Dr. Pat Robertson who has literally touched tens of millions with his 700 Club ministry and Liberty University. My beliefs rarely stray from Pat’s guiding light. When it comes to radical feminism, there is Constitutional attorney Phyllis Schlafly who has wrestled against it for decades. She is known the world over for her advocacy and love of Jesus. You think I imagine the discrimination and bigotry our faith faces every day? Read the journalism of David Limbaugh (brother of Rush).
When it comes to politics, you seem equally out of touch. It’s people like you who fail to understand why those of us in the Tea Party are so engaged. We love this country, we want to do everything we can to save it. Honor, integrity and the Constitution are vital to us. I will not abandon that and looking around at the town hall meetings, the protest marches, the rise of our candidates, we are making an impression. We are an integral part of the United States and if you’re so conceited that you can’t be bothered to recognize the revolution happening before your very eyes, I really don’t know what to say.
You try to malign me, cast me aside but you fail to see I am simply a man who is but one of you. I’m dedicated and I’m honest. I speak the truths that are being spoken by countless others all across this glorious country. It’s not me, it’s “we.”
Stephenson Billings
Investigative Journalist
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6:46 pm
//You say that I do not represent Christianity, you say that I am outside of the mainstream, you label me a radical, but are you truly so blind to the passion of Evangelicals in America today? I’m not alone, in fact I’m part of a very large community that people like you pretend do not exist. My journalism follows closely the work of Dr James Dobson who created one of the most successful faith-based organizations in this country, helping families deal with the crises of pornography, sexuality and drug addiction. Have you never heard of Focus on the Family?//
This sounds a lot like copy/pasta…
//My reading of the Bible and my dedication to Christ’s Words are wholly in line with what Evangelicals are preaching all across this great country. I fight against the “deviancy cabal” drawing directly on the Biblical teachings of renowned scholars like the Reverends Bryan Fischer, Lou Engle, Rick Joyner, Estus Pirkle and Joel Osteen to name but a few. I also am a fervent supporter of the Reverend Dr. Pat Robertson who has literally touched tens of millions with his 700 Club ministry and Liberty University. My beliefs rarely stray from Pat’s guiding light. When it comes to radical feminism, there is Constitutional attorney Phyllis Schlafly who has wrestled against it for decades. She is known the world over for her advocacy and love of Jesus. You think I imagine the discrimination and bigotry our faith faces every day? Read the journalism of David Limbaugh (brother of Rush).//
This sounds a LOT like copy/pasta…
//When it comes to politics, you seem equally out of touch. It’s people like you who fail to understand why those of us in the Tea Party are so engaged. We love this country, we want to do everything we can to save it. Honor, integrity and the Constitution are vital to us. I will not abandon that and looking around at the town hall meetings, the protest marches, the rise of our candidates, we are making an impression. We are an integral part of the United States and if you’re so conceited that you can’t be bothered to recognize the revolution happening before your very eyes, I really don’t know what to say.//
I swear I’ve heard of this batshit lunacy before…
//You try to malign me, cast me aside but you fail to see I am simply a man who is but one of you. I’m dedicated and I’m honest. I speak the truths that are being spoken by countless others all across this glorious country. It’s not me, it’s “we.”//
Yep. So Stevie, you had to do a search to pull out an old post you once made simply because you can’t provide anything new. You want to use fake, false, made-up information and lies to turn the people’s opinions. You want to obliterate all that this country has achieved and send it back to the way things were before a proper government was installed. You want women back in the kitchen, you want to be able to buy your labor, you want to be able to beat your wife without mercy and no one say anything bad about you, and you want to rule over all. You don’t want decency, you want a totalitarian government that’s ruled by you. You don’t care about Jesus, you flat-out admitted that much already.
Just admit that you’re a liar Stevie. There is no ‘we’, there’s just you and a bunch of psychos who abuse their Freedom of Speech and border on libel and slander, and frequently cross it.
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11:59 am
Copy and paste Billings strikes again!
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7:49 pm
well surprise surprise theres alot of young people looking to have a good time. let me ask you this why is it that ever since drugs were made illegal young people have abused them? they are rebelling against a country that is determined to deem them as criminals. when prohibition stops so will alot of the drug abuse, especially with young people its all about rebelling. ive never been to a phish event but have been to many events like these and for the most part its all about having a good time i see nothing wrong with it.
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8:39 pm
Dear Mr. Billings:
As you are likely a devout follower of George W. Bush, can you please explain how your leader supports Phish yet you do not?
Per video evidence: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20Jcrk6jGfo
Rick Ross
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10:27 pm
Stephen Billingson, your blowin it big time. This is the worst piece of media bias ive ever seen in my life. Its abundantly clear you haven’t a CLUE what your talking about. The dead give away was getting the band’s name wrong. “The Phish” Does not exist. And for that matter, neither does God. Sorry to break it to you big guy. At least us Phans don’t worship fake idols, we get the real thing. And I’m pretty sure I’d run away from my “good Christian Family” if I grew up with a father like you too man haha, asshole!
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10:46 pm
the author likes the jersey shore becuase its so pure. check his facebook out. haha what a clown
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11:50 pm
wow! been a Phan for over 15 years… where the hell was i when everyone was naked, on heroin
or where the hell was my shrine to trey
made of falafel wrappers! dang… i miss everything. And omg… really blaming a band for online “phishing?” hilarious.
bet you think buffalo wings are made of real buffalo. I hope you’re bright enough to put socks on in the morning.
it’s pretty cold out there. well…gotta go to bed so I can get my son some warm breakfast in the morning,
go to my legitamate job to provide for me and my family oh and pay my property taxes not to mention pay my mortgage.
oh wait… i’m a phish phan, so uh, dude, trey.. think you owe me a nitrous tank.. wtf?! hilarious…
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12:10 am
I also have been saved from The Phish.
I used to live a hedonistic lifestyle, obsessed with cheap sex and bad drugs. Or was it the other way around? Anyway, I was a devoted addict to the Christless whores of The Phish until I got sick of being under the thumb of the politboro trustafarian Commie-Nazis and their stretch limos, organic food, and insidious demonic guitar-playing. Plunk plunk plunk. And the bongos in the dirt… It got to be too much. “YOU SUCK!” I wanted to yell. But you’re right, Stephenson, I always wound up harassing my phallus — God did it ache — anywhere I could, anywhere I could find 1.5 cubic feet of space and 45 seconds’ time. Then I realized that I wasn’t ever going to meet a nubile young spinstress, like Claire, unless I shaped up. And lo and behold, one night during our mass ejaculation (it was in a demonic song about meth addiction called ‘If I Could’), I had an out of body experience. All of a sudden, I was floating over a large green field, and off in the distance rose two HUGE mountains. They were gargantuan, monstrous, luscious, and erect. So I made for the mountains, and I climbed and I climbed and I climbed. Rocks trees boulders rocks trees boulders, and as I ascended one of the peaks, I looked up and there she was. Doll E. Palin. Tits of fire. Eyes that twinkled like Jehova on the cross. With a wink and a grin, she looked at me and said these fateful words, “Islands in the stream, that is what we are. Ya’ll come back now, ya hear? You betcha!” Then, a great Bald Eagle of fear swooped down and delivered unto me these sacred objects: a hand-whittled gun rack and a window decal of the Stars and Bars complete with facsimile autograph of Jefferson Davis. I blacked out. I woke up in a Motel 6 right outside of Nashville. After a wholesome, nourishing meal and 4 cups of joe at the Waffle House down the road, I realized that my life had been transformed. Now, I love country music, I can’t get enough of plastic Jesus figurines, and I vote Republican in every election. Thank God I’ve been saved!!! Today, me and my 18 children and 6 teenage wives thank you, Mr. Billings for spreading the truth about faithless Commie Jesus-killers known as The Phish. May you find yourself eternally ensconced in the ginormous bosom of righteousness.
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2:01 am
Dear Mr. Billings,
I AM a journalist. I have a Master’s Degree in journalism. I have worked in the newspaper, on the radio, as well as in advertising. I consider myself to be an educated person.
I was also raised in a Evangelical home. My parents and grandparents are indeed God-fearing, Bible-reading Christians. Even as a young child I knew that “I could do all things through Christ who strengthened me” and “If any man be in Christ he is a new creature” and “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son.” Yes, I know this Bible. I’ve read it more than once.
I also love Phish. In fact, I’ve spent the last 15 years of my life loving this band, its music, and the live experience. I’ve spent thousands (Yes, I said thousands) of dollars over the years traveling across the country simply for this band. I’ve met more friends over the years through this music than you can imagine.
As a unabashed, devout Phish fan and educated journalist, I have no problem telling you how very wrong you are, Sir.
I do agree with you that many people are confused by Phish songs and lyrics, as many of them are avant garde and nonsensical. However, “Marijuana” and “Christmas without Weed” are NOT Phish songs. And “Prince Caspian” is about a cocaine binge you say?? Actually, “Caspian” is a reference to C.S. Lewis’ “Chronicles of Narnia” series, and if I am not mistaken, Lewis is a Christian author. See, I’ve read “Mere Christianity” as well as “The Screwtape Letters”.
For a list of Phish songs, lyrics, and content, see: http://www.phish.net
As for the music itself, you say, “There is no rhyme, there is no reason. Meter, particularly in the hands of keyboardist Page McConnell, does not exist on their stage” This is astonishing. My mother, who is a fan of McConnell, has been a musician for almost 40 years and a church pianist for most of those. I personally have been taking lessons since the age of six. Any good pianist knows that meter is required no matter what the score may be. Also, McConnell, not to mention the other members of the band, has a degree in music. [Page's] father, Jack McConnell, was a musician as well. A dixieland jazz pianist and clarinetist who has taken the stage with the band several times. Please try to refrain from discussing music and musicians that you are unfamiliar with before making sweeping assumptions.
Furthermore, your generalizations of the band members are disheartening, especially those concerning the personal jabs at their lifestyles and even sexuality. John Fishman a transvestite?? Absurd. He’s a family man who has been married to his wife for many years, and they have several children together. Actually, all the band members are married and have children, and many times they are traveling with them. Band members crashing, aiding, and abetting parties backstage with NITROUS TANKS?? Mr. Billings, this is seriously wrong and ridiculous.
Now, as a fan for many years, I cannot finish without telling you some of the things you ARE right about. There ARE drugs at Phish shows. Fans ARE smoking pot, eating LSD, and licking their fingers coated with MDMA (We like to call her Molly). Is this everyone in the audience? Hardly. Are these the activities of the band members? Absolutely not. Is it right for you to assume all the fans are uneducated morons who don’t bathe, overdose on drugs, and indulge themselves in pornographic-like nonsense at Alpine Valley?? Hell no.
There is another thing you are correct about. WE DANCE, and we LOVE it!! In the Psalms it talks about David dancing before the Lord. Dancing to MUSIC! What, I ask you, is wrong with dancing??
I won’t say much more, but I will say, as a writer myself, that I am horrified by your writing-style and fact-checking skills. You call yourself a journalist? Well, journalism is about uncovering the TRUTH . . .You, Mr. Billings, have done just the opposite. I have been raised and educated by a loving family who shine their lights for Christ on a daily basis, as it says we are supposed to do in the Bible. I don’t see the same kind of love in you that I see in my grandfather, a man that has served the Lord for 91 years. I would suggest you pray about that.
Finally, I urge you to apologize to the band and its thousands of fans that you have seriously offended by writing this horrible article. I feel as if you’ve insulted me, my intelligence, my friends, and my music. I also urge you to purchase a copy of E.B White’s “Elements of Style”. It will teach you the aspects of real journalism, as its a really nice brush up on grammar rules. It’s a writer’s Bible if you will . . .
Thank you for taking the time out to read this in your busy “Journalist” schedule.
Oh yeah, and “Read the fucking book”
Sincerely yours,
Anna
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10:35 pm
You’ll have to pry that apology from my cold, dead hands, you jerk. “Journalist” indeed, more like liberal media embedded fraud. Do you research!!!!
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12:17 am
And how is this person a fraud? Stevie, if you can’t prove the words you say, then how is anyone supposed to believe you. That’s the whole point of journalism. Not only that, but if political bias prevents one from being a journalist, then how the fuck do you call yourself a journalist and say it with such a straight face?
Do us a favor, just down thirty cheeseburgers in one sitting with a tub of ice cream being pumping into your stomach and die of a heart-attack.
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1:05 am
Ha! I just love being called a fraud. I’m a Southerner just like you, Billings.
I have a B.A. in English/Anthropology from Louisiana State University, and an M.A. in Print/Broadcast Journalism from Loyola University.
I’m currently a copy editor at an advertising firm in New Orleans, Louisiana.
You see, Mr. Billings, I’m in the fraud business. It’s what I do.
So it’s pretty ironic that you use this specific word, and let me reassure you, the only fraud I see around here is YOU!!
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7:11 pm
Advertising is not journalism, buddy. And I am a certified Investigative Journalist with all the benefits that that title suggests. I am thrilled by my profession and as a devoted intellectual and man of spiritual passion, I believe many delight in my work.
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7:28 pm
Billings, you’re not fooling ANYBODY anymore. Why can you not understand this?
1. make a COPY of your certificate
2. take the COPY YOU JUST MADE (NOT the original) and use a black marker to BLACK OUT ANY PERSONAL INFO LIKE SS#, ADDRESS, ETC
3. SCAN the BLACKED OUT COPY onto your computer and save it as an image file (you know, .jpg, .gif, etc)
4. go to http://www.tinypic.com and UPLOAD the image
5. share the URL with us so that we can see PROOF of your claims
You won’t even reveal what freakin’ college you went to, which is PROOF POSITIVE that you are NOT what you claim to be. You are a FRAUD.
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4:49 am
Cut & Paste Claire strikes again!
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6:25 pm
So you ever gonna bother with proving that you are actually an investigative journalist?
Fuck it, you’re a fraud even if you post one up. A real ‘investigative journalist’ wouldn’t link to his own works as ‘proof’ that they’re right, and they’d know who the fuck John Wayne Gacy is.
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2:54 am
I can’t tell who’s the bigger moron:
you clowns who actually think he’s for real… or me, for trying to tell you otherwise, after countless other posts have tried and apparently failed miserably.
Let’s try this again.
S-A-T-I-R-E. sat’ire. noun.
1. a literary work holding up human vices and follies to ridicule or scorn
2. trenchant wit, irony, or sarcasm used to expose and discredit vice or folly
Laughed my ass off at this article! The ball and chain dragged me to his 45th(?) show, and we totally masturbated our way throughout the night. EPIC PATCHOULI SEX PARTY!!!
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8:36 am
Actually, I think this guy IS for real– read some of the other things he’s written. Bat shit crazy.
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3:55 am
I saw The Phish one time after a show in my town years ago. They not only smelled of marijuana, but they cursed at me and tried to sell me some of their nitrous oxide personally!
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8:34 am
Dear Mr. Billings,
A couple of quick questions for you:
1. Are you for real? I mean, this article can’t possibly be serious.
2. Do you really have sympathy for that lowlife scum bag Fred Phelps? That article you wrote about him not being gay– that one was a joke too, right?
Sincerely,
Carrie
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10:37 pm
I have written about Pastor Phelps, particularly in defense of his freedom of speech. There’s a lot to learn from that man!
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12:14 am
So you enjoy the thought of dead soldiers and then protesting their funerals as an insult to their friends, families, and America on a whole?
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8:40 am
i’d much rather trust a group of like-minded music loving people then a religious cult protesting at funerals for soldiers, anti-gar protests, and insert (we’re better then this group here)
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8:41 am
i’d much rather trust a group of like-minded music loving people then a religious cult protesting at funerals for soldiers, anti-gay protests, and insert (we’re better then this group here)
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9:18 am
Holy crap. “we will ruin ur site and all ur future articles.. just wait.. this is only the beginning ull pay for your lies and slander.” Perhaps the most recent example of the combination of teh crazy and teh stupid indicating that some folks are taking this stuff way too seriously. Maybe some should lighten up a little and allow the chance to laugh at yourselves.
Take care, little friends.
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9:43 am
i feel so used by this Onion rip off.
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10:28 am
This article has got to be a joke- do we really live in a world with people so ignorant, sheltered and stupid? Any website with articles titled “I Am Extremely Terrified of Chinese People” and “How to spot a Masturbator” and “Homosexuality Makes Me Howl” is obviously a proponent of paranoia and hate and I feel sorry for anyone that believes these LIES!!!!!
peace love and light
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10:42 am
Dear Mr. Billings:
Thank you for getting this well written and thoughtfully articulated. The evidence and facts that you have produced must have taken hours of investigation. This article sheds real light on a very dark time in my life, when I followed this band called phish. I am not sure if it has been posted in any of the comments above, as I was turned off by many of their insularly and degrading remarks to yourself, christianity and the father, but when I was initiated back in 1993 in Sacramento, California they referred to this process as “surrendering to the flow.” It was awful. I was only 14 at the time and my mom had let me go to the “concert” with my friend Jimmy. Jimmy was this really nice kid that lived down the street, who had never gotten into too much trouble and though he was a little older (16 years and could drive), my mom felt bad for Jimmy as his cat, Poster, had just died.
Jimmy had never seen this band before either, but he said that some students in his high school were saying how cool that song Bouncing Around the Room was. Man, Mr. Billings, I wish that I would have met you prior to this, because you were dead on. At first it seemed like a nice pleasant song and seemed very happy and upbeat and then all of the sudden the guy next to me punches his girlfriend in the ear! She laughed, laughed, laughed until she fell apart. It was very unpleasant. The guy behind me then gave us some sweet tarts (this is the surrendering to the flow initiation) and told us they would make us feel better. I thought they were just going to be the candy that my mom would buy for us at my baseball games where I was a star left fielder and hit 8 home runs last year. Nope. It was LSD.
Soon we were whirling around (or maybe not) and the lights came on. It was the end of the first set. Man. I wanted to go home and call my mom. Jimmy told me I was a pussy. I told him that comment was in bad taste, as his cat poster had just died. He laughed and laughed and rolled around on the ground like an idiot. Then these two girls, who were much older than us came over to him. They were quite vivacious, as you described in your article. They took off their home-made, gunny sack tops and began to fondle and kiss jimmy and each other on the ground! I was in big trouble. Jimmy was my ride, my mom had thought it better that he handle all of the money for us, so I had no coins or bills and could not use the pay phones. Not to mention my hands kept turning in to lizard feet. This was getting really weird.
Mr. Billings, this was one of the most trying few hours of my life and I wish you could have been there when I needed someone like you or god the most. This next part is what literally sucked 10 years out of my life following this drug worshiping, sex loving band. Before I could even head to the water fountain to get a drink, the lights went down. I had lost Jimmy! He had gone somewhere with those sex-crazed girls and now the lights came down real low, which sent this crowd into a frenzy.
The first song was nice and pleasant. It spoke of being a kid at a concert and holding up a ticketstub as a badge of glory. But then the stage got really dark and the leader, Trey, began speaking to the crowd. He talked of falling underneath the ice and being trapped. He then started to tell this tale of deceit and deception. Of trials and wars. For the next 90 minutes or so I was mesmerized and yes, I was hooked. It was their story of gamehendge. It is an alternate fantasy world, dreamed up by the leader Trey. He talks of going there and the only way we can get there is together and through their music. And Mr. Billings, whatever was on that Sweetart took me there that night. I saw a mocking bird sing. I saw a unit monster (I didn’t even know what that was, but I saw it). I saw a beautiful princess and a robot killer that was supposed to hang people. This was what hooked me.
But, if I didn’t need any more convincing, I was a christian boy and still went to church every Sunday. When they came out for their encore to another frenzy of applause and women baring their breasts, they did not go for their instruments but gathered around microphones at the front of the stage and began singing AMAZING GRACE! It was like church! I thought they were sining directly to me. I once was lost and now I have been found! (I thought). I was in too deep. Then they played this rocking version of Jimi Hendrix’s Fire.
The lights went on and everyone looked amazed. People that I didn’t know were hugging me and wishing me well. Screaming with elation and talking about the next show! Next show I thought. I ran into Jimmy and the two bare chested girls as I was exiting the arena. Flower and Willow were their names. They convinced Jimmy and me to skip school and head to Santa Rosa for the next show. We made love all night in one tent, together just outside of Santa Rosa. I lost my virginity and my life that night.
I didn’t return home until 2003, when phish “officially” said they were calling it quits. My life is now in shambles. My parents won’t speak with me. I never finished high school or college. The hemp necklace market has been taken over by china. I used to make hemp necklaces and sell them on tour for lots of cash. Currently, I am staying at a mission, and have found God again, but am being lured by the prospect of a future phish tour. Not for the music, but to spread the word of our lord the savior. Mr. Billings. If you are committed to this. I can be too. To prevent others from taking the path that I chose. If I can do one thing is his name, this would be it.
Please respond, I need your help.
Aaron
aaronwollf@yahoo.com
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10:42 pm
Aaron! That was intensely impressive! I was on the edge of my seat. Really, you should consider the literary arts, you would surely have a fabulous career ahead of you. Also, I want to say that I am happy that your story is about love and ultimate redemption. So many are sharing horrific stories here, it’s just nice to hear about those who survive and thrive!
SB
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10:45 am
Brilliant!
I guess the mark of good satire is that people don’t know whether to believe it real.
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11:21 am
I am honestly dumbfounded that a person supposedly following the teachings of Christ would spend so much time writing an article that in effect judges people so harshly. I thought Jesus said not to judge.
Beyond that, your article is so unfounded. I have a friend who works security at Alpine who says that “Phishheads” are the most peaceful of all attendees and don’t cause any problems.
Jesus said to love your brother, not to judge him. Maybe you need to spend more time focusing on your inner self.
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7:48 pm
I know how this game is played. Jesus fed the many with a few “Phish.” You should be ASHAMED of yourself for using scripture to steal from your elders!
Phishing is a serious crime that ruins lives. How dare you invoke the name of the risen Lord to rationalize thievery.
Thanks be for the grace of Stephenson and the men of ChristWire.
BB
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11:26 am
Also, if you’re going spend that much time writing an article on a particular subject, at least get the name right. It’s “Phish,” not “The Phish.” The fact that you don’t even know the name of the band is testament to the fact that your article is completely unfounded.
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11:39 am
Big applause to the Troll. Well done Stephaniesoney, well done.
Just next time make a US map of all the tour cities and put cross hairs on them.
That’s all you’re missing.
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11:58 am
I Poop too much!!!
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12:00 pm
I Poop a lot!!!
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1:06 pm
Wowsers Stephenson, i am glad you posted your opinon online. its shows how much you care about this topic. to respond to your insiteful opinon. come on over to my porto potty in my back yard and we can discuss more in there. its were i do my best work. from my experience most phish kids were abused as alter boys by there clergy men. they took to phish so they could live a much normal life
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1:09 pm
I’ve been going to Phish shows for 15 years. I know where the good jerking off porta potties are at most venues but I am having a real tough time finding the ones at Alpine Valley.
At Alpine Valley, I know where the baby cornea sacrifice section is but after I’m done there, I always want to rub out my murder boner. Can anyone tell me where they are?
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1:09 pm
Stephenson, I believe that in your own mind and heart, you truly believe the things you write. I also believe that you have your own good intentions when you write these articles. What you need to understand is that you are completely off base. It is very clear to anyone who knows anything about the band Phish that you actually know nothing at all about them or their fans. For starters, they are Phish, not The Phish. Secondly, their music and fan base is filled with more love, caring, family, peace, and community than you could ever imagine.
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1:22 pm
You hippies have dictionaries, yes? Try looking up “satire” and while you’re at it also go with “irony” and “gullible.”
Nerds.
Bravo, Mr. Stephenson. You gave me a much-needed laugh in this dark time between New Year’s Eve and Summer Tour.
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2:05 pm
This is a joke, right? This entire website is has to be satire. If it isn’t, well…it’s sad.
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2:23 pm
Gamehendge is more accurate than the bible. Just sayin.
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2:31 pm
Surprised to find out you’re from bible-belt Tennessee. Nice article you stupid fuck. Good, comprehensive and truthful research. How could you ever say you’re proud of that work when there is so much falsification within it. Get a fucking life and read a REAL book. Not some made up oral traditions passed down and diluted many times over. What makes your fictional stories more right than the next group claiming to be a “religion”?
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2:56 pm
Stephensonsux.
first of all – go fuck yourself. i’m from tennessee.
second of all – READ THE BOOK. READ THE FUCKING BOOK.
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2:50 pm
I disagree.
Did you know that there is a Phish fan made group called the Phellowship which was founded on not using drugs or alcohol at Phish shows?
Also, wouldn’t you think that it’s good that these cops rake in so many arrests and confiscations at these shows? Don’t get me wrong, it sucks for the people getting arrested, but that’s what the police are paid to do! In other words when Phish goes on tour, they go through different cities. This in turn stimulates those cities economies through the means of occasional arrests, local hotels and inns, restaurants, gas stations, etc.
Not musically talented? Of course you would think that if you believe Britney Spears and Gwen Stefani trump Phish. Study just a bit of music theory, songwriting and improvisation then you can talk about their musical stylings. If anything, at least Phish actually plays their music on stage and actually sings their lyrics and actually writes their own lyrics, sometimes with a little help from their friends of course.
Who the hell would masturbate in a porto-potty? Have you witnessed this FIRST HAND? (pun intended.)
Have you ever been to a Phish concert before? EVER? Go to one. After doing so compare it to a Britney Spears concert. I’m sure there is drug use at both. BRITNEY SPEARS? And your bitching about sexual congress… The only thing even somewhat feminine on stage is a full grown man in a dress, but that doesn’t seem to stir up that much sexual congress at all that I’ve seen.
Is this article even legitimate? Either way, it is hilarious.
Thanks for the laugh!
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4:13 pm
jesus never existed.
jesus is a lie.
christianity stole pagan holidays and traditions.
the son of god=the sun god
christmas tree=yule tree
dec 25′christmas’=dec21solstice
early christians coopted pagan traditions and holidays to make the transition easier
jesus never existed
the name jesus does not appear in the historical record until 800 years after he supposedly lived
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1:41 pm
If Jesus’ name didn’t show up in history until 800 A.D., then how do you explain this?
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/history-of-christianity-the-gospel-according-to-judas-473141.html
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4:32 pm
Mr. Billings,
I’ve been to many Phish shows and I must admit that pretty much everything in your article is true. The one line I take issue with is the reference to “poorly rolled blunts.” How dare you, you dick! Everyone knows us Phish heads roll the best blunts.
Also, the line about “supplies” in Mango Song refers to heroin, not marijuana. But that is a minor issue compared to your insult to our blunt rolling skills. Otherwise, nice work!
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10:45 pm
My friends in the Afro-American community have confirmed this. Who am I to question them?
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12:12 am
You have friends that aren’t white? You’re a dirty liar Stevie, you can’t stand black people.
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5:33 pm
I am currently an information systems student at ball state university. I am a senior and have extensive experience with information system security. Being a Phish phan, I chose to do a research paper and presentation over Phishing (the cyber crime). I can assure you that this crime has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the band. You should be more careful about what you publish. Get you facts straight, and don’t just write what you think all of your moronic sheep followers will believe. Smart people read these things too, sometimes. I do not have the time to address all of the other flaws in this article. Oh yeah, I would like to know the hidden satanic message behind the Phish lyric “Let the good lord shine a light on you.”
Thank you Mr. Minor
Mr. Meatstick
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7:43 pm
Slim Jim Bob,
Thanks to the efforts of Stephenson Billings I can see right through your trixie trickery. Meatstick indeed. I’d bet that thesis was a spambot about some class settlement sent to list illegally obtained from AARP. “Just call with your banking information and we can direct deposit your settlement..” Save it, sonny Jim.
Thank Goodness for the good men of ChristWire.
BB
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5:35 pm
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. RUN TO YOUR BOMB SHELTER! THE PHISH IS COMING TO TAKE YOUR CHILDREN AWAY AND BONG THEM WITH WEEDS!!!!!!!!!!
This is awesome. I especially like the part about how any band that would deliberately insert itself into the lives of the innocent is a depraved satanic abomination. ANY BAND WHO SEEKS OUT FANS MUST BE TURNING OUR CHILDREN INTO DEMONS! Also, Brittany Spears isn’t much of a role model dude. Inserting itself into the innocent? Hmm. That reminds me of something. What could it be? Oh, yeah, RELIGION. Of course, if you want to take the “inserting yourself” into the young and innocent more literally, you could just say Priests and Pastors.
For realz, that was the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time.
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6:38 pm
I listen to Phish all the time…..and hey I’m Jesus, chill out bub!
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7:07 pm
LOL @ all the people who think this is real.
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7:14 pm
dear mr. billings
i clicked on your name from this site and was redirected to your facebook profile. upon seeing said profile, i noticed that you had jersey shore listed as one of your favorite tv shows. . that, good sir, is the epitome of unbridled sex and drug use. you are truly an ignorant moron.
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10:46 pm
They’re Catholic and Heterosexual.
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12:12 am
So religious people go to orgies and become oompa loompas via spray-on tans?
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2:16 am
Most intelligent individuals agree that “Jersey Shore” is a sickening show to watch, a glorification of unbridled sex, drug use, and non-stop partying.. While my roommate watches it every week, I prefer shows that are much more relevant and less focused on a bunch of party-crazed individuals. Shows like the news, The Rachel Maddow Show, even cooking shows, anything that I find to be intelligent and enjoyable. “Jersey Shore” is NOT one of those programs. For that matter, neither are most network shows, including “Glee”.
Please, Billings, at least ACT like an adult. You enjoy a show aimed at an audience in their late teens to late twenties? I already knew I was far more mature than you were, but this just puts the icing on the proverbial cake.
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7:35 pm
Phishing on the internets is very serious. I applaud Mr. Billings for bringing this important topic to the readers of ChristWire.
While many phishing attempts are directed at businesses, none are more gullible than our more mature Americans. I’m glad he included photographs of these misanthropes that grift the savings of older Americans via email and social networking pages.
I feel much more prepared for that email about the inheritance from Nigera now, thanks to the vigilance and efforts of Mr. Billings. I even looked up Phish on iTunes and found a nice pod casting about phishing held at UCLA.
Bless you, you kind and generous man.
BB
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8:48 pm
This could go on forever – but Phish fans need to realize that this author says these things without any logical claim. It’s what he “feels” There is no base research, nor any found evidence to purport anything that would be considered right. He is a guy who saw pictures, did a little research at Google University, and found these pictures. He put them together and formulated this argument. He obviously feels that his faith is more externalized by doing this article it will wake up the community to have them “see the light.” But we all know that this “light” is just his preconceived paranoia that has been pumped into his brain; his own personal interpretation via the “reading” of the Bible, and the promulgation of warning the parents that “Phish is bad.”
We also have to understand is that Christians thrive on the condemnation of their beliefs. They feel justified that they are “standing up against the tyranny of evil.” In all truth, the evil they claim to fight against is really the unchecked reason and value their religion tells them to stay away from.
There is no way that this guy is going to a Phish show – he doesn’t get it – he only perceives what the truth is, because the confluence of piety and naivete swarm the religiously uninformed, thus creating this feigned paranoia.
I have been listening to Phish since I was 18. I’ve never smoked a joint, and I’ve never done any illegal drugs. I’ve loyally listened to their live shows, finding inspiration in their creative processes, as well as their skilled improvisation. I think they’re great, and their music has been with me through good times and bad. I’ve brought my 2 year old son to a recent show and the people there have been courteous, respectful of my space, and welcoming to my child. The ironic thing about the show is that the scary vibes are from the law enforcement, since their perception lies on the same hair trigger as this author, completely ignorant and uninformed.
So, to conclude, just remember when someone bombs an abortion clinic, or some pastor molests a child, or when a pastor steals money. Remember what you said when the “left” claimed that “all the religious right are are a bunch of abortion bombing, child molesting freaks!” Remember what you said “That’s ludicrous, those are only the uncontrollable fanatics who are choosing their own path.” Same goes for Phish fans. If you want to suck in a tank of nitrous, that’s your choice. If you want to rip dank buds for hours while tweaking out to the “hot jams” that’s.your.choice. Don’t consolidate your own misconceptions and proclaim that’s what it is – because it isn’t. Just get the facts sir.
PS – Prince Caspian refers to the Narnia chronicles, a book by C.S. Lewis – who was a devout Christian. The lyrics refer to the book.
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10:04 pm
Billings’ latest offering is a compelling tale of hedonism and intrigue located within the heartland of America. His story centers around a touring band called “The Phish,” who co-opts naive youth into a sordid lifestyle of drugs, lascivious behavior, and altered mental experiences involving stuffed pandas, Little Debbie snack cakes, and tubes of Polident denture cream. Billings’ reputation as a wordsmith is validated in this story, which clearly demonstrates his maturity as a compelling author – indeed, one of the up and comers of our time.
The story begins with an inside look into the workings of this devious quartet, who prowl the country in search of converts to their agenda of drugs, communism, cybercrime, structured LBOs, and the illicit marmoset trade. Apparently, they also play music and use their image as a “band” to cover their more ominous role as evil circus clowns intent on toppling the administration of the state of Kansas. Their agenda deepens as the story continues, however.
Overall, this is a complex and intricate tale that should pique the interest of even the most jaded reader. An in-depth analysis of hidden meanings in the band’s lyrics paints a picture more intricate than the ramblings of an armchair JFK conspiracy theorist. Even more compelling is the link to the black market chocolate trade of Columbia, in which the band provides ingress of thousands of pounds of cocoa to the United States.
For good measure, Billings tosses in some in-depth tales of mud-bedraggled coitus, Port-o-Let onanism, utilization of cybercrime to fund drug-crazed orgies, and a treatise on the power structure of modern-day American hippie culture. With all these intriguing components, “Just Say no to The Phish” certainly looks like one of the most relevant offerings of the new decade. Plus, it’s a fun ride as well! I, for one, eagerly await the next imaginative work by this wonderful author.
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4:52 am
I like the cut of your jib, Emery!
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11:41 pm
most of those kids end up going to phish shows because they have CRAZY RELIGIOUS PARENTS LIKE YOU..phish fans obviously choose to go because thats what they want to do so why does it matter to you? everyone has the right to be happy, not everyone sits around and types pathetic rants about things they dont really know anything about. go take a couple psychedelics and then talk to me about spirituality and religion.
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11:43 pm
sounds like my kind of life style. where do i sign up?
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12:23 am
10 people Stephenson Billings reminds me of:
10) Joseph McCarthy
Larry Craig
9) Mark Foley
7) Bob Allen
6) Pat Robertson
5) Glenn Murphy Jr.
4) Alex Jones
3) Glenn Beck
2) Fred Phelps
1) Ted Haggard
There is a good chance that deep down inside Billings is afraid to admit his homosexual tendencies; closet drug use; mental and physical insecurities (small brain, even smaller penis); his sexual desires to be pleasured by children; and most of all, his fear that white, southern, christian men will be a minority/non-factor in the U.S. within 15 years.
We all should be conscious of the fact that there are people in this world who espouse a deep love for religion but only use it as a tool to spout hatred and divide our world. You, Mr. Billings, are the problem, not the solution.
Hopefully at some point in your life you will realize the true message of religion:
To forgive others is to forgive yourself for the guilt you have built up within your own mind…that guilt likely stems from the issues described above.
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12:51 am
Impressive list!
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1:21 am
Liars go to HELL Christwire.
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4:19 am
This is the most poorly written slander i have ever laid my eyes on. SATAN BE PRAISED
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5:54 am
oh wow!! BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! This thread is hilarious!!! Nice one — the proverbial goat has been got — and most don’t even know it! Irony is wasted (yeah, that’s punny) on well…. a LOT of freakin people apparently. HAH! Suckas
love
The Jazz
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10:49 am
Ummm you people are pretty dumb. Internet trolling at it’s finest. Well done.
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10:53 am
The Phish sucks and so do all of the filthy, dirty, smelly ass wooks that see The Phish. All the phans do is go to shows to do fake drugs and have sex with hairy, nasty hippie beasts. Death to Trey and death to the smelly hippie wooks!
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11:06 am
this is such shit i have seen phish dozens of times and yes some people get a little crazy but its not the bands fault its the dumb people phish rocks and fuck you asshole do go worship something or find something better to do with your time than hate on phish it would be like if i hated on you preists or catholic preists for raping little boys (mind you not of of you) phish rocks and is a great band listen to some of the music.
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11:13 am
I can speak as a born again Christian that the author is misinformed to the point of hallucination. I honestly thought this was a comedy piece for some time while reading it. There is no need for the obscenities, but this is the sort of logic and “information” that can only be gained by a bunch of people sitting around in a circle and encouraging each others fears and misinformation to the point that it is regarded as “truth.” I have also worked professionally as a musician for many years, and though I find Phish’s music rather self absorbed they can certainly play their butts off and are by no means amateurs. I would recommend for Mr. Billings to spend a little time as Christ did with those who needed help, and if he feels it is at a Phish concert then by all means spend it there, but to talk to people, not to judge them.
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11:26 am
“Living is easy with eyes closed.. Misunderstanding all you see. “
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11:31 am
you bash “the phish”, but on your facebook page you have the jersey shore as one of you fav for tv… Ya, that very christen of you.
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12:20 pm
you are a severely confused individual sir.
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1:07 pm
Folks…. this has to be fake life. Billings can’t be real, right? Has anyone researched this website, his cause or him? I’m left utterly confused.
However, in the off-chance this isn’t a joke, its’ clear Billings F’d with the wrong crowd. These dirty hippies you speak of invented blogging as we know it today. Say goodbye to your credibility, Billings.
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2:07 pm
Horrible and false about the band. Ridiculous article. Been seeing Phish since 95….yes, there are addicts everywhere you go. Including Phish shows and Church services. Total BS!
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2:13 pm
I hope your dick shrivels up and falls off you piece of shit.
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2:59 pm
Mr. Billings,
I am a 45 year old woman. I am the mother of a 22 year old son. Until several years ago – I had never heard of Phish. My son loves the band and their music. He has enjoyed many trips to see the band. He is getting out, seeing the country and enjoying himself. He has met some of the nicest people through Phish shows. Some of these people have stayed in my home. They are wonderful people of all ages. I know I have raised my son to know right from wrong. I have been to two Phish shows. My son has been to over 25. I have tailgated in the parking lot before and after a show. I have seen activities that are not to the degree in which you have described and no one was “hiding” anything from me. Nothing worse than any other concert I have attended or professional sporting event.
My son was exposed to formal religion within the Methodist Church. Neither of us chooses to practice formal religion. That does not mean I am not a Christian. God and I have our own thing – and that is no one’s business but mine and his. People who can’t feel good about themselves unless they are putting others down (like this article) for not believing or practicing the same beliefs ie: Christianity, formal religion, etc. are what I feel is wrong with formal religion today. Also, the hypocrites who say one thing and do another are equally repugnant. There are people who are at a church every time the doors are open, tithe and teach Sunday school or preach. They can be the nicest people to your face and do unspeakable things in their homes, drink, smoke, look at pornography, abuse their spouses, abuse their children mentally, physically and sexually. But they SAY they are Christian’s. I am not doubting your beliefs or questioning your integrity as you have done to me, my son, the phans and this band PHISH.
These four men (Phish) have been together for decades. They are married and have families and their own children. (Jon Fishman is not a transvestite – he just enjoys the comfort of a very funny dress when he performs.) I believe we all have life experiences that help develop who we become as adults. Maybe they have made some less than desirable choices in the past. I believe they have learned from them. I know I have learned from my own and continue to learn.Their music is fantastic!! Do I understand every word and lyric – no? Do I enjoy it anyway? Absolutely! You can dig dirt on anyone about anything. You can make anyone look bad if you try hard enough.
By the way check this out – http://phish.com/#/waterwheel. Phish in their bid to carry on communism and create this terrible environment for children, has a very wonderful charitable foundation.
I feel the most sorry for the children of the parents that your article normally caters to. There are people who think that you might know something for some reason. My advice to these parents is – buy a ticket and go with your son or daughter. You may just enjoy yourself and create a stronger bond instead of creating an irreparable situation that breaks your relationship with your child. Music is alive, music has energy, music is life. You are missing so much.
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10:02 pm
What do you think of mother Sarah Palin?
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6:21 pm
“I’m sorry, I didn’t bother reading all of that, too many big words for my tiny brain to comprehend”
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3:27 pm
Wow is it scary how someone could blame a band for this rather than the parents who can not control or speak to their children. I saw Phish when I was in school and I was not part of a drug scene and never have been. This kind of thinking and blaming is scary. Typical of this link to find something to blame other than the parents of these kids.
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3:28 pm
Mr. Billings,
I am a 45 year old woman. I am the mother of a 22 year old son. Until several years ago – I had never heard of Phish. My son loves the band and their music. He has enjoyed many trips to see the band. He is getting out, seeing the country and enjoying himself. He has met some of the nicest people through Phish shows. Some of these people have stayed in my home. They are wonderful people of all ages. I know I have raised my son to know right from wrong. I have been to two Phish shows. My son has been to over 25. I have tailgated in the parking lot before and after a show. I have seen activities that are not to the degree in which you have described and no one was “hiding” anything from me. Nothing worse than any other concert I have attended or professional sporting event.
My son was exposed to formal religion within the Methodist Church. Neither of us chooses to practice formal religion. That does not mean I am not a Christian. God and I have our own thing – and that is no one’s business but mine and his. People who can’t feel good about themselves unless they are putting others down (like this article) for not believing or practicing the same beliefs ie: Christianity, formal religion, etc. are what I feel is wrong with formal religion today. Also, the hypocrites who say one thing and do another are equally repugnant. There are people who are at a church every time the doors are open, tithe and teach Sunday school or preach. They can be the nicest people to your face and do unspeakable things in their homes, drink, smoke, look at pornography, abuse their spouses, abuse their children mentally, physically and sexually. But they SAY they are Christian’s. I am not doubting your beliefs or questioning your integrity as you have done to me, my son, the phans and this band PHISH.
These four men (Phish) have been together for decades. They are married and have families and their own children. (Jon Fishman is not a transvestite – he just enjoys the comfort of a very funny dress when he performs.) I believe we all have life experiences that help develop who we become as adults. Maybe they have made some less than desirable choices in the past. I believe they have learned from them. I know I have learned from my own and continue to learn.Their music is fantastic!! Do I understand every word and lyric – no? Do I enjoy it anyway? Absolutely! You can dig dirt on anyone about anything. You can make anyone look bad if you try hard enough.
By the way check this out – http://phish.com/#/waterwheel. Phish in their bid to carry on communism and create this terrible environment for children, has a very wonderful charitable foundation.
I feel the most sorry for the children of the parents that your article normally caters to. There are people who think that you might know something for some reason. My advice to these parents is – buy a ticket and go with your son or daughter. You may just enjoy yourself and create a stronger bond instead of creating an irreparable situation that breaks your relationship with your child. Music is alive, music has energy, music is life. You are missing so much.
Mother of a Phish Phan
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3:37 pm
Billings’ latest offering is a compelling tale of hedonism and intrigue located within the heartland of America. His story centers around a touring band called “The Phish,” who co-opts naive youth into a sordid lifestyle of drugs, lascivious behavior, and altered mental experiences involving stuffed pandas, Little Debbie snack cakes, and tubes of Polident denture cream. Billings’ reputation as a wordsmith is validated in this story, which clearly demonstrates his maturity as a compelling author – indeed, one of the up and comers of our time.
The story begins with an inside look into the workings of this devious quartet, who prowl the country in search of converts to their agenda of drugs, communism, cybercrime, structured LBOs, and the illicit marmoset trade. Apparently, they also play music and use their image as a “band” to cover their more ominous role as evil circus clowns intent on toppling the administration of the state of Kansas. Their agenda deepens as the story continues, however.
Overall, this is a complex and intricate tale that should pique the interest of even the most jaded reader. An in-depth analysis of hidden meanings in the band’s lyrics paints a picture more intricate than the ramblings of an armchair JFK conspiracy theorist. Even more compelling is the link to the black market chocolate trade of Columbia, in which the band provides ingress for thousands of pounds of cocoa into the United States.
For good measure, Billings tosses in some in-depth tales of mud-bedraggled coitus, Port-o-Let onanism, utilization of cybercrime to fund drug-crazed orgies, and a treatise on the power structure of modern-day American hippie culture. With all these intriguing components, “Just Say no to The Phish” certainly looks like one of the most relevant offerings of the new decade. Plus, it’s a fun ride as well! I, for one, eagerly await the next imaginative work by this wonderful author.
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3:45 pm
Really, the best argument in favor of burning Phish + alltheirgrossfans at the stake is the fact that none of the above seem to get that this website is for teh interwub lulz.
It’s satire, you twits.
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4:50 pm
All I can say is “Thank You”…
My story with The Phish began so long ago, I can not clearly remember. I was a good kid, trying so hard to do right in the world. I had heard of these blasphemous groups of musicians like the Grateful Dead, and Bon Jovi, and others that were out trying to recruit the Satan’s helpers. I originally went as a mission. My first few concerts were so eye opening. You are correct sir in your summation of the horrific events that play out at the nightmarish concerts. I remaind pure, and even managed to save a few lost souls, who were early in their journey and not too brain washed or drug addicted to see the light. We would gather up the drunk and drugged slobbering youths at these concerts, and save them from the homosexual orgies that awaited had we not found them. They were so fragile, they would even attempt to give sexual favors to us, their stewards, for a meal, or a safe place to eat. Luckily, that is not why we were there, we were doing the lords work.
This went on for a long time. Tour after tour. Lost confused young person after another. Until one horrible day in 1994. I was at a Grateful dead concert in Las Vegas. There were so many people in need of saving. We felt so strong that day. It must have been the excrutiating heat, because I let down my spiritual guard, just for a moment. Some seemingly normal girl offered me some water, it was so hot, i needed it so bad. That is really the last thing I remember. I have read in the bible of visions, and spirits, and so many things, but none can describe the horrific visions that plagued me that night. The colors, the devil himself was there, dancing, masturbating, and crying out for me. I had lost all control. The song was saying “Steal your face right of your head”… and that is just what happened. As I spiraled down through the gates of hell so much pleasure was afforded me. Suddenly, the druken masses seemed one with me, I was dirty, and they surrounded me. The rest of my memory is a blur. So many drugs, and sexual partners. It got to where I would just start masturbating in public, for no reason. I would not even know why. there was no pleasure. It was pure addiction.
Years of my life. My own family wouldn’t even recognize me. Jail, homeless, and worse. I thought when Jerry Garcia died it would end, but then some school bus of Hippies took me and dropped me off at a Phish show. They would sedate their fans with massive amounts of Nitrous Oxide, and then start playing that horrific orgy of sounds. When you are on drugs, in that crowd, it possesses you. It took control of my soul, and made me do dark things.
I know noone here wants to hear of exactly what happened to me. But eventually I was saved. Some people think prison is the worst thing that could happen to a person but really it’s not. I get fed here, and I can read the bible. but most of all I am now safe. I am working towards my college degree, and hope to study business management with a minor in Christian Studies. I should be out before I am past working age, and hopefully can find a good job.
Thank you for sharing this ugly truth with the world, that it may save even just one lovely child of God from experiencing this awful torment.
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5:37 pm
Essentially, the writer is taking the worst 50 people at a show and making it seem like everyone there is acting like this. If I went to a Church and witnessed a priest molesting a child, would it be fair for me to say that all priests act like that?
It’s ridiculous to say that the band has any agenda other than to play music and please their fans. There are also many drug users who have absolutely no interest in seeing Phish.
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6:03 pm
That article made me wanna go to another Phish show so bad!!! They’re so damn fun.
Dude, you gotta lighten up and smoke some weed.
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6:10 pm
Stephenson Billings likes to play with little boys. He is sick and enjoys playing with little kids private parts. sad really,
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9:59 pm
Interesting that this is the sort of thing that just pops out of your head. Speaking from experience, are we?
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6:20 pm
WOAH! Stevie, you’re flat-out admitting it? I mean, we always said you were and thought you did, but you’re saying you touched that person? You just said that he was talking from experience, which means that you must’ve touched them when he was a little boy.
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11:55 pm
I really want to love you, but sometimes you just piss me off.
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12:07 pm
“I really want to love you, but sometimes you just piss me off.”
Well good! Because Comedian DOESN’T want you to love him!
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7:06 pm
It’s about time somebody did an honest write up on those long-haired, shifty-eyed, drug using, marijuana smoking fornicators. Thanks for spreading the good word Stephenson!
I for one will be keeping my children away from this terrible new trend.
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8:28 pm
Absolutely hilarious read. I have been listening and seeing Phish for 14 years (I’m 30). I hold a job in a professional field with a fortune 50 company and have a masters degree. I absolutely love Phish and many other jambands.
All is good in moderation. And if people are really scared of Marijuana then they should probably move to Afghanistan or somewhere else far away.
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9:52 pm
I can’t believe you have nothing better to do than preach to people about something you have no clue about. I hope your “God” has mercy on your “soul”. Hippocrites
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10:00 pm
The correct spelling is “hypocrite” you numbskull.
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8:28 am
Hippocrite: def. A large mostly herbivorous mammal from sub-saharan Africa, which acts in contradiction to its stated beliefs.
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10:09 pm
lol U MAD?!
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2:08 am
IT’S PHISH. Not THE PHISH. Drugs, sex, and even violence don’t keep people as alienated from the nature of human beings as much as the hatred-or-disorder philosophies advocated in this article. In other words… you sir are going to biodegrade.
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7:02 am
How did you interpret the Bouncing Around the Room lyrics as about beating a woman during a drug binge? If that’s what you think of when you hear that song, then you should seek help.
And seriously, there are so many inaccuracies in this article. You should be ashamed to call yourself an “investigative journalist.”
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7:31 am
T-Shirts , Get your T-Shirts.
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8:47 am
THIS ARTICLE MADE ME SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERM MY PANTY HOSE!
SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERM!
SPERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRM!
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9:45 am
This “Stephenson Billings” character is HILARIOUS. This article is a well-written satire, and I believe the whole website is fake, too. Its like “The Onion.”
I bet the person who wrote this is actually an avid Phish phan, whose using “Stephenson Billings” as his pen name. I bet “Stephenson Billings” was some asshole high school teacher he once had or something.
Thanks for the awesome read, “Stephenson Billings!!!!!!” SHEER HILARITY.
Steve Carrell would do an AWESOME job playing the part of “Stephenson Billings.”
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10:41 am
Sir,
First, I would like to mention that I am a Christian woman in my 40′s with two children and a wonderful husband. Your article saddens me because it is 98% absurd. I know, because I have been to Phish shows….and as many have mentioned, it’s not “The” Phish. It’s people like you who make it hard for other Christians to reach the lost. They will take your absurd article and lump all Christians with you. You call yourself an Investigative Reporter. Well, you obviously have not done enough investigating before you wrote this article. And you must not be a musician. Just because you don’t like or understand their “music” doesn’t mean it’s all bad. Phish are a group of very talented musicians. I don’t know where you got your information from regarding the meaning to some of their songs. You’ve got it so wrong. Like I said, it saddens me, because now so many people will think all Christians are like you and think like you. I love the Lord. He knows my heart. I suggest you consider your sources, and the validity of what they are offering before you write such articles. I think your article has backfired and has caused many to steer away from Christianity, rather than reaching out to show the love and forgiveness of the Lord.
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11:42 am
I honestly dont like phish but I felt like telling you that you are a total idiot.Go fuck yourself.
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12:12 pm
“In fact, I continue to be a Christian Investigative Journalist”
Credentials, please?
“and a former high school football athlete who is widely respected in my field(s).”
I’ve asked you for proof that you’re “widely respected” and you’ve either beaten around the bush or you’ve discredited me because of my age and my gender. So I’ll ask again: please point us to some references that prove you are “widely respected”. Everybody all over the internet laughs at you – just type your name into google and you’ll see this – so considering that, I’d say that any claim of yours as outrageous as being “widely respected” should be backed up by sources, ESPECIALLY if we’ve already requested them several times. The same goes, of course, for these supposed journalism credentials that you have. I can’t even count how many times I’ve requested those.
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6:25 pm
“Sorry you guys don’t like him, but he tells the truth. I know it hurts sometimes, but you hippies will learn about real life someday. Billings is a brave, intelligent, passionate reporter who works tirelessly to get the story right. If you think he’s wrong, you must have your eyes closed.” — post about me from a fan of the Phish!
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6:36 pm
One person on a message board writing nice things about you does NOT constitute “widely respected”. Try again.
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10:04 pm
anybody can pretend to be anybody as long as they have an email address. its just like the fourteen year old girls talking shit about themselves posing as the girl they dont get along with, just to get that girl in trouble… your retarded, just like a fourteen year old girl. oh wait, you like fourteen year old boys… nevermind, you cant relate
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12:24 pm
Stephenson,
Oh you poor troubled soul. I think you need to take a long hard look in the mirror when suggesting that role models or adult contemporaries have failed anyone, when clearly the adults in your own life did an abysmal job teaching you anything of value. Your clear and advanced state of mental illness is overshadowed only by your hyperbole within the article. And if you are so misguided that you think Phish won’t sue you for libel, and want to turn your lies into a 1st amendment issue, I look forward to watching you empty your pockets into a court room rather than your local church. This “article” is filled with numerous outright, bald faced lies and I can guarantee you that the representative from Phish’s legal department is a worthy and quite legitimate foe.
Besides the outright bald faced lies, there is little truth in this article contained in the hateful innuendo and even less truth in the claim that you are a man of God. Furthermore, it’s clear from your responses to people who openly mock you through the use of Phish’s lyrics, that you know absolutely nothing about Phish and their music. It’s also a fairly sad state of affairs that you have so little going on in your life that you are sitting at your computer all day replying to every comment that comes in, particularly when you don’t even understand the comical nature of the majority of the comments to begin with.
Finally you’ve also shown yourself to be a rather hypocritical and hateful “Christian” based on your childish and condescending remarks, which of course only adds fuel to the fire of you being most deservedly mocked.
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6:26 pm
I’m going to be sued? Well, see you in court, Francis. Remember they have drug dogs there so make sure you’re not “holding.”
Pervert.
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1:57 am
They’re also on the look out for tin-foil hat wearing nut jobs who smell like week old meat and milk.
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12:31 pm
“Please don’t type in all capitals. It’s a real turn off.”
First of all, nobody’s trying to turn you on. Second, need I remind you…
“ALLS I WANT TO DO IS HELP YOU PEOLE AND YOU JUSTB SLANDER AND ATTACK ME CONSTANT AND WHY????? BECAUSE YOU”RE ALL INTO SEX AND DRUGS AND WHATNOT AND I STAND UP FOR A MORAL NATION OF THE RIGHTEOUS YOU WILL ALL BURN IN THE DEPTHS OF SATANS LAIR IF YOU DONT REPENT> I DONT WANT THAT TO HAPPEN BUT I AM TRYING TO HELP IF YOU DONT WANT TO LISTEN THEN DONT. NOW GO AWAY AWAY AWAY!”
“CLAIRE YOUR DUMB COMMENTS CANNOT INTIMIDATE ME AND I KNOW WHAT IM DOING SO STOP GETTING ME RILED UP SO YOU CAN GET PAGE HITS OR COMMENTS OR WHATEVER ITS LOOKING SO DEPSERTE YOU PART I CANY HARDLY TELL WHAT THE WORLD IS TO YOU FILKS NO PLEASE ANSWER ME THAT SO ENOUGH? I AM JUST TIRED AND SICK OF YOU ALL SHOWING NO LOVE, NO KINDNESS NO WISDOM.”
“Did you somehow miss the part where I said, “I will try to answer your lengthy diatribe when I have a moment.” DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS? I DO NOT HAVE TIME NOW!”
“CALM DOWN!!!!”
and the even more famous:
“CALM DOWN CALM DOWN!!!!!”
my personal favorite:
“CALM DOWN CALM DOWN CALM DOWN !!!!!!!” (from confessionwire)
“STOP HARASSING MY MOMMA, SHE HAS ENOUGH PROBLEMS WITHOUT YOUR PERVERTS SLANDERING HER ONLINE. SHE IS A LOVELY WOMAN.”
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6:28 pm
Claire, your childhood crush on me has gotten out of control! Your friends are truly worried about you!!!!
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6:40 pm
“Claire, your childhood crush on me has gotten out of control! Your friends are truly worried about you!!!!”
You need to stop thinking so highly of yourself, Billings. Just because you’re 53 and never married doesn’t mean that you can accuse 20 year olds of crushing on you. Also, since you claim that my friends are worried about me, then you should be able to provide the first name of each of my friends. I’m waiting…
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11:58 pm
Me, Coco, Tyson, Mom & Dad, Mother, Abe, Mathias, Kayla and Suzy.
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12:13 pm
“Me, Coco, Tyson, Mom & Dad, Mother, Abe, Mathias, Kayla and Suzy.”
No, YOU are NOT my friend. You are my mortal enemy. Why can you not comprehend that? Abe is also my mortal enemy, but to be honest, I don’t hate him as much as I hate you, because he doesn’t try to intrude in our lives and be our “friend”. Coco is my turtle, who spends his entire life in a tank with water, so he’s not my friend. Tyson is a sexist jerk, like yourself, so why would he be my friend? I’ve never been one to consider my parents my friends, because they are my parents and I love them much more than I would ever love a friend. Mathias is my internet friend, not a real life friend. As for Kayla and Suzy…I’ve never been friends with anyone named Kayla or Suzy.
So, do you admit that you don’t know jack shit about me?
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7:50 pm
Claire, you live in a lonely world.
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1:57 am
You can stop fantasizing about Claire, Stevie. Unless you’re into S&M, you won’t enjoy the shit she’d do to you if she ever saw you.
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12:55 pm
What would Jesus do? Sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll…!
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1:22 pm
While I did not read all the comments…
Did anybody hear of a little band named The Grateful Dead. They were out there doing the same thing long before Phish. It was a great trip. Got a college degree, work long hours in the medical field, so all you skeptics, catch a show, sit back or dance and relax.
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2:08 pm
Hallelujah!
Totally, totally one of the best examples of Christian investigative reporting I’ve ever read….and this is my first.
You need anybody of faith for undercover work with these anti-Christs, I’m your dude.
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2:28 pm
hey steven, why dont you just mind your own fucking business and dont stick your nose where it doesnt belong, you dont see me shitting all over your religion so dont do it to me.
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3:07 pm
this is the most ignorant article i have ever read. i want sources to all the song meanings you wrote, and i would like to know what proof you have that the BAND pays for nitrous oxide tanks. you are a true piece of shit and if god did exist, i think he would have though twice before he made your dumbass
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6:32 pm
No thanks, you bossy bottom feeder.
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1:54 am
“I don’t have to prove myself right, I just need to lie! YOU’LL NEVER GET THE TRUTH OUT OF ME!”
Stevie on the truth.
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3:41 pm
i can’t believe that some “phans” don’t get that this is a joke. thanks for perpetuating the stereotype. long live the phish!!!
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4:18 pm
Hello Stephenson,
I am saddened by the accusations made about the band and their fans.
I am 34 years old and a mother of a one year old.
I have attended shows over the years and have attended shows with my daughter also with other families and their children.
I also have very dear old friends who are close with the members of the band.
Perhaps you could reach out to the band and their families and/or personally attend a show before coming to these conclusions.
Unfortunately I can not speak for the younger fans and/or younger people all together these days I feel there is a huge lack of direction and it is ignorant to blame a huge group of people for what some people do.
When such large groups of people gather there is always going to be some who do things not everyone agrees with.
Perhaps judging everyone is unfair, nonforgiving and cruel.
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5:15 pm
Hey Stephenson,
Very funny article!
The fact that you work with small children and yet fabricate such wildly lewd scenario’s leads me to believe that your description of “the Phish” show is really a dirty laundry list of either things you wish you could do or most likely things that you do engage in, in private. you must feel so ashamed of what you have done that you feel obligated to write silly articles like this to make yourself feel better. Child services should be notified that you are making up such lewd filth and yet “work” with children, and may you be saved and washed in the blood of christ you are forgiven.
that is my best guess… or maybe your nervous system is just this biased…. Good luck sir when you face your own lucid mind in judgment
f I were you I would be much more concerned with Republicans dressing up in KKK robes doing mock human sacrifice to a giant stone owl in Bohemian Groove. But then again wouldn’t want to ruin the party you are looking to join!
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6:31 pm
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6:35 pm
This was meant to be a reply to Steve above.
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1:53 am
Ya know, if you’re going to quote yourself, then you only make yourself look less dignified. Not that you have any dignity in the first place, but you might want to at least actually TRY for once in your sorry life.
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7:03 pm
““Let the women learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.” –I Timothy 2:11-14.”
Oh look, Billings is replying to a long and thoughtful post by a female by copying and pasting a sexist bible quote about how women should shut up! How surprising! Billings, so help me god, if I ever meet you in person I WILL castrate you. Mark my words, you sexist fuckwad.
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1:43 am
When we meet, I have a children’s Bible I’d like to give you. Please watch your language young lady. I know in your heart you’re a better person than that! God bless.
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1:52 am
I’d take a guess as to where she’d shove that bible, but it’s incredibly obvious as it is.
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12:51 pm
First of all, do you have ANY idea how insulting it is to give a children’s bible to a 20 year old? Second, do you know how many fucking children’s bibles I have in my bookcase at home that were gifts from my grandparents?
Also, the subject at hand was your sexism, Billings, that you replied to a long and well though-out post by a woman by copying and pasting a chauvinistic quote from the bible, essentially telling her to shut up and not have an opinion because she’s a female. And Comedian is absolutely right – I WOULD shove that bible up your fat ass.
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1:08 pm
Did you get a snow day today? Is that why you’re so pissy Claire?
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1:12 pm
“Did you get a snow day today? Is that why you’re so pissy Claire?”
I’m “pissy” because of your attitude towards females and your implication that I, a 20-year-old who read the entire “Lord of the Rings” when I was 11, would need a children’s bible.
And why would I be pissy over a snow day? Shoveling is preferable to sitting in class listening to a teacher drone on and on.
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2:23 pm
So typical of a callused female student.
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3:04 pm
//So typical of a callused female student.//
“Women shouldn’t be educated nor have equal rights…but I’m not sexist!”
-Adam
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7:11 pm
The phish are filth, spewing their lies and hate of all things holy wherever they please. They are of Satan and will burn in hell. They TELL people in their songs to go do drugs and fornicate each other, and then to just leave the pregnant women there to abort the baby if she wishes, which wold be illegal if a damned islam wasnt president and we elected a good republican candidate. Obama is from Niger and is one, and his father was from a muslims state called Kenya, all of which will make him burn. But, im getting away from the point, the phish are terrible. They spew hate and must be stoned or burned for this! they spit on bibles and burn churches, and this is true. I cant believe what they say. They must be liberal because no christian or republican would ever THINK of doing or saying what they do. In 2012, when Sarah Palin is elected president and makes being democrat illegal, this country will finally be the great thing the christian forefathers dreamed it would be, as they gave their lives defending it from Satan, Islams, liberals, and worst of all, WEED LOVERS AND PEOPLE LIKE THE PHISH!
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7:49 pm
Portsmouth, Va was so elated that Phish put their tiny burg on the tour this past summer, the local news covered BEFORE the actual concert and bragged that the City itself had already made over SEVEN MILLION DOLLARS. citys are glad to have an actual world-wide entertainment come to their back water dump that you should have not crawled out of… “flush”
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1:42 am
With Obama’s economic disaster, it’s sad some communities can be bribed into turning the other cheek while the hippie orgies take place.
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1:50 am
You just hate the idea of social acceptance, don’t you? Even though you were a football player, you were mocked the entire time, weren’t you? You hate any positive feelings because you’re jealous you never received any, don’t you?
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8:37 pm
Stephenson Billings, you are the most ignorant person I’ve ever heard of. Also, to come up with some of this shit you give the impression that you have some severe perversions of your own. You didn’t get most of that weird rape masturbation stuff from secondary sources… its from your own little head. Thats seriously fucked up. Of course there is the possibility that this is a huge joke, in which case I congratulate you, as a joke this article is absolutely genius. If it isn’t a joke, though – you suck.
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9:57 pm
mr billings, let go of my dick, grab your own. and shut up, im trying to watch the show.
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10:01 pm
This is some of the most hilarious comedy I have ever read. I was in tears laughing at the absurdity of Mr. Billings’ article. And then in one of his responses below the article he states in response to someone calling him a pedophile, “I am not a pedophile and I find your comment insulting. Any accusations against me were due to a misunderstanding and I was ultimately vindicated in that matter.” Does it get any better than this? An accused pedophile calling “The Phish” a bad influence. Thank you Mr. Billings for some of the funniest, non-investigative journalism in the history of American journalism!
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12:41 am
It’s just music, Stephenson are you planning on being such a tard for the rest of your life? You’ve already wasted a large part your life on believing in some spooky invisible man in the sky, do you really want to waste more of your time?
Phish rules, you suck
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12:51 am
this article should have been written 20 years ago when people cared about phish.
d
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12:52 am
Funny stuff.
Is The Comedian your alter ego? He seems to be the only one defending your sincerity.
But on the real, this is hilarious! I belly laughed… several times.
Next “THE” Phish show, you and me buddy!
My favorite is when they play Marijuana>Christmas Without Weed>Marijuana! That’s when we all tear each others clothes off with our teeth and shoot heroine into our eyes!
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1:39 am
Actually, I’ve been trying to figure the real identity of the Comedian for many months now. He has anger management issues and I’d love to sit down with his parents to discuss it. We don’t want another John Hinckley on our hands.
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1:43 am
Yet you don’t know how old I am, nor do you know what my daily life is like. Nice to know that you like to make up stuff all the time. You like livin’ in the clouds Stevie?
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1:01 pm
This coming from the man who has two pictures of John Wayne Gacy, the clown who murdered over 30 teenaged boys and young men, in his facebook photo album celebrating clowns.
You can deny that they’re Gacy all you want, Billings, but the pictures you posted ARE of Gacy, aka Pogo the Clown.
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12:01 am
I think I know enough about you, Comedian. Actually your name comes up quite frequently when I discuss Christwire with Tyson on the phone.
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12:11 am
You think you do, but do you really? Tell me Stevie, why is it that people always have to conform, why is it that people can’t be different? I’m no hipster, but I don’t believe in the kind of labeling that says ‘I’m old so I’m right’ or ‘I’m young so I’m outrageous’.
Tell me, what do you think my name is, what do you think my age is, where do you think I live, and please write down a thorough explanation as to how you came about this information.
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1:44 am
you are f cking hillarious! keep up the good work! u should do techno next. then metal.
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9:37 am
sorry for having more fun than you
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10:50 am
“These people delight in shared seating and organic products. They demand that their members participate in a “green” lifestyle, despite the fact that it undermines American industries and flies in the face of traditional consumerism. They oppose wars and hard work, instead preferring drum circles and perpetual protest”
1) What undermines American lifestyle is the thought that we can continue functioning the way we have for the last 50 years, business as usual. You do know that the American Govt is borrowing 40 cents of every dollar that it spends, right?
2) American industries, and traditional Consumerism? – What do you speak of exactly? Our love of cheap goods at Wal-Mart (all of which are made in China, sending all those American dollars to our Communist “friends”.
3) They oppose wars? – Exactly what kind of Christian are you? So you’re telling me that you are “pro-war”? What would Jesus say?
4) Jesus was the first Communist, by the way. He had a commune following him around, he washed prostitutes feet, he didn’t judge them. Who are you to judge Phish fans?
5) I love the connection you try to make between internet Phishing scams and the band Phish, hilarious.
6) How does the fact that you played football in high school 30-plus years lend any credibility to your story? And this is a STORY, fictional story.
7) Where do you get off saying that they can’t play their instruments? Lemme guess, Beethoven was a hack, Mozart was talent-less, and Jimi Hendrix didn’t know how to play a stringed instrument….
-I’m done here, I could tear this article apart all day long, but I actually have things to do with my life.
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1:13 pm
SARAH PALIN!
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3:05 pm
RANDOM SCREAMING!
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1:38 pm
This post belongs on the onion. It’s both hilarious and ridiculous… at the same time.
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2:27 pm
Okay as you’ve probably read it’s phish, not The phish; and they didn’t start phishing on the internet dumbass they make money off ticket sales why would they waste their time going through other peoples garbage. Have I ever been to a show? no, but my friends go often (most of them being girls, whom of which have never been taken advantage of or been asked to do the retarded sexual acts for a “hit” of weed…if someone even agrees to give you sexual pleasure for one “hit” then theres something wrong with them) and never have they ever had any sort of experience like the one your portrayed…you’re justjealous that you never got to do anything fun as a kid because your mommy and daddy were afraid that you would have become a bad person…how much you wanna bet your parents in fact experimented with drugs and alcohol?
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3:28 pm
You are a fucking idiot, there isn’t any “the” it’s just Phish. Go fucking eat some christ wafers you fucking moron.
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3:48 pm
eat my meatstick bitch!
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3:55 pm
I never knew they were called “The Phish” dang 68 shows and I never knew this. Dude ur a tool. I dont use drugs and I love Phish. There r many fans out there who just like good music. So go listen to Brittney or gwen stefani and shut the fuck up. By the way God is just an imaginary friend for old people. Enjoy Brittney cause shes never done drugs.lol
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3:59 pm
this just proves how sad religion really is in this country
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4:32 pm
your article is so hilarious and off the wall. you seriously need mental help, like the molested children on the phish lot
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4:34 pm
Jesus freaks out in the street. Handing tickets out for God
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4:51 pm
The Hilarious Truth: You will find God at a Phish show before you find Him in a Christian church.
Phish shows are full of the few people left on this globe who actually understand the true message of any religion: LOVE.
These “church-people” are full of what the entire purpose of religion is trying to eradicate, namely: HATE & IGNORANCE.
Jesus was a hippie! You’ll find me and the Holy Spirit at the next Phish show!
Peace & Love!
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12:05 am
Get over yourself. We all know these are spoiled ex-suburban white kids pawning off their parent’s hard work so they can party into their 30s. Don’t sell me your jar of “love and tolerance”. These people cross the street when they see a black guy coming just like everyone else.
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12:13 am
Ya know, you don’t help your case out at all by being a 50-something virgin who still lives with his mother while she downs a bottle of scotch and vodka every night just so she can sleep, and you’re constantly trying to ‘love’ people and find out their information.
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5:02 pm
People, take this article for what it is, a joke. By even attempting to refute it, you’re just playing into his pandering for attention to spread his hate. Any sane reasonable person can see that this all purely hate-mongering fabribication, and those who are too stubborn to realize that likely already felt that hate-filled way.
So although this was a great piece of comedic satire, please join me in not feeding into it with a million more comments and hits, which will only help it’s popularity to grow. The best way to combat absurdity is to not pay attention and feed into it. Negativity will only help his weak baseless argument.
That said, I just want to let Stephenson to know that it’s okay, we still love you, even if you feel the need to hate those who are different from you.
May I ask though, how many people with addiction have you actually tried to help? Because you sure aren’t going to change any societal woes by simply demonizing of things you don’t understand. People from all walks of life deal with similar struggles and temptations for a variety of reasons, and many could use help rather than be demonized… And in the case of Phish, this only speaking of the few “immoral” druggies that you wish to lump thousands of good hard-working people in with. It’s pretty clear why most people go to concerts. They dig the band, and even those who experimented with drugs have gone on to be the lawyers, doctors, and respected people you’re chatting with… Seriously, if the drugs aren’t there, they’re being used somewhere else. The problem and temptation of drug abuse does not exist inside a “The Phish” sized-bubble.
Hopefully you can remember that Jesus was about love, forgiveness, understanding and helping/healing others. Perhaps you should go back and reread those scriptures. It will help you focus your attention on helping and respecting your fellow man. God bless.
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12:14 am
“But the heavens and the earth, which are now, by the same word are kept in store, reserved unto fire against the DAY OF JUDGMENT and perdition of ungodly men. But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. But the DAY OF THE LORD will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up.” –2 Peter 7:12.
Please don’t try to sell us on the idea that the Bible was all about love. This is Vatican 2 political correctness at its worst. What about responsibility and a strict code of morality? What about the idea that we are stewards and leaders of those lesser? What about the suffering and hellfire that comes from sin? Or the devotion and utter complete commitment God asks of us? Don’t try to sell me your bag of goods, you’re absolutely out of touch with so everyone in the Evangelical movement today.
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12:56 am
//Please don’t try to sell us on the idea that the Bible was all about love. This is Vatican 2 political correctness at its worst.//
Well, considering there’s no anti-Christ that will end the world, Satan himself is locked in Hell, angels are essentially made of nightmares and much much more, I’m fairly certain that people got the idea to treat the bible as guidelines than laws. With so much contradiction in the bible itself, and with so many different translations, as well as the fact that it’s quite possible that false prophets shoved their way into the Bible, and considering how long the editing process for the Bible was, it’s not too far-fetched to believe that things may have been added or dropped.
Not only THAT, but consider this: most of the bible was written for those who practiced Judaism, and Christ said that a lot of what was written was wrong, considering the attitudes that people had. Followers of Christ believed that he was right and thus followed HIS examples that HE set forth, NOT the Judaic bible.
//Don’t try to sell me your bag of goods, you’re absolutely out of touch with so everyone in the Evangelical movement today.//
Stevie, you can’t tell the difference between fantasy and reality, you don’t know how the internet works, you don’t know how society works, you refuse to change, you refuse to accept that you are guilty of your sins, you refuse to accept that you’re no more special than anyone else on this planet, and you hate everything while acting like you give a damn. All you want to do is bitch and whine, bitch and whine, and bitch and whine. You’re nothing but a child, you don’t understand ANYTHING.
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5:05 pm
People, just take this article for what it is, a joke. By even attempting to refute it, you’re just playing into his pandering for attention to spread his hate. Any sane reasonable person can see that this all purely hate-mongering fabribication, and those who are too stubborn to realize that likely already felt that hate-filled way.
So although this was a great piece of comedic satire, please join me in not feeding into it with a million more comments and hits, which will only help it’s popularity to grow. The best way to combat absurdity is to not pay attention and feed into it. Negativity will only help his weak baseless argument.
That said, I just want to let Stephenson to know that it’s okay, we still love you, even if you feel the need to hate those who are different from you.
May I ask though, how many people with addiction have you actually tried to help? Because you sure aren’t going to change any societal woes by simply demonizing of things you don’t understand. People from all walks of life deal with similar struggles and temptations for a variety of reasons, and many could use help rather than be demonized… And in the case of Phish, this only speaking of the few “immoral” druggies that you wish to lump thousands of good hard-working people in with. It’s pretty clear why most people go to concerts. They dig the band, and even those who experimented with drugs have gone on to be the lawyers, doctors, and respected people you’re chatting with… Seriously, if the drugs aren’t there, they’re being used somewhere else. The problem and temptation of drug abuse does not exist inside a “The Phish” sized-bubble.
Hopefully you can remember that Jesus was about love, forgiveness, understanding and helping/healing others. Perhaps you should go back and reread those scriptures. It will help you focus your attention on helping and respecting your fellow man. God bless.
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5:15 pm
In hell, you sink to the level of your lack of love. In heaven you rise to the level of your fullness of love. You see …
I used to call myself a Christian and am reminded again and again (your website) why I have changed my mindset and freed myself from the negative. Phish’s music has helped me to live more Christ-like. I like your Christ I do not like your Christians they act nothing like your Christ.
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5:42 pm
I would be deeply satisfied cracking your thick skull with my own two hands….in fact nothing would make me happier than to watch you drown in a pool of your own blood…
Good day to you as well you child raping piece of shit, if there is a god he should strike you down where you stand and rip you tiny cock off your body so you cant use on any more little boys
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6:27 pm
You’re wrong.
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6:43 pm
First of all, it is just Phish, not The Phish.
This article spells out everything that is wrong with ignorant bible beaters such Mr. Billings. Yes, there are some Phish phans who are “drop outs” and probably do too many drugs. But the interesting thing is that many of these “drop outs” have parents that are just like Mr. Billings. They are so uptight and stiff about every action of their child, that they will not allow their children to grow and experiment. People like Mr. Billings said Elvis was evil and so was said about The Beatles, and The Grateful Dead. So, Mr. Billings please open your mind.
As for me, I am a law abiding productive citizen who is also a Phish Phan.
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12:17 am
Why can’t you nutters just spell it “FAN” for crying out loud!
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12:32 am
It’s called a nickname you retard.
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7:30 pm
hahahaaaaa! dude u really didn’t expect to put something like this up and get anything postitive out of it did ya??? haha thats just retarded. i mean i’m sure that its “phish” tearing apart our nations youth and not a shitty parenting problem… but anyway thanks for the laugh this shits funny as hell!!!
p.s. don’t u guys all drive around with little fish symbols on the backs of ur cars…? u wouldn’t the youth to go gettin all confused about what type of “phish” you’re supporting… just sayin…
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9:26 pm
stephonson u are so fn hillarious!
keep up the good work!
u should do techno next! please!
cant wait to read it
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9:30 pm
funniest thing on net i ever read bar none, i went to the new year show and loved it. but for some reason now im a commie cyber thief that is a tranny drug addict! dammit phish
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11:12 pm
Who deleted my meat sticks
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12:39 am
You probably shouldn’t steal pictures — of a Cannabis convention, not a Phish show — from Time magazine: http://www.time.com/time/photogallery/0,29307,1984302_2129693,00.html.
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4:08 pm
Phish is more of an American Band(person) than you could ever be, you are the one that is a communist, people like you deserved to be dropped into a country like Egypt or tunisia and forced to live below the poverty level like those poor souls… you are an idiot
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8:06 pm
“Claire, you live in a lonely world.”
No I don’t, you just couldn’t name my friends.
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9:05 pm
You’ve got to kidding, Bill. This article is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen about Phish. If Jesus were alive today, he’d be proud of this. His message of caring for others (though music) is continuing in these days of so much selfishness and violence. It’s truely is a shock that I’m reading this. I can’t believe someone actually thinks these things. The facts are so wrong. Sorry. Mike
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9:52 pm
You say you want to be sociologists,
But ya better all first get checked by a neurologist!!!!!!!!!
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0
9:52 pm
You say you want to be sociologists,
But ya better all first get checked by a neurologist!!!!!!!!!
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9:55 pm
You say you want to be sociologists,
But ya better all first get checked by a neurologist!!!!!!!
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8:59 am
This is almost identical to the Switchfoot concert I went to last year with my youth group. Terrible stuff, so much pot.
Loved the heroin and the communism though, good stuff.
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9:02 am
Also, those hippies in those pictures look an awful lot like Jesus don’t they?
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1:07 pm
“Let the women learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.” –I Timothy 2:11-14.
Sarah Palin 2012?
I don’t even like phish but you’re a fucking nutjob. not only are those two comments of yours completely contradictory, but they’re completely out of line with any sense of responsibility or reality. Get bent, asshole.
-Jesus
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4:59 pm
“Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters?” (1 Cor 6:2)
Judge not, that ye be not judged (Matthew 7:1)
Have you been to a Phish concert? BTW, there is no THE, just Phish.
I am young; I am “uncorrupted” by a Phish concert. And I would also hesitate to lump the musically talented and formally trained musicians from Phish into “Rock n’ Roll.” Without first diving into the subtext of their folksy music. I understand that a mind, completely obsessed with those items which take us further from God, such as drugs, sex and pedophilia, would naturally seek out and derive these sub verse meanings from the songs; it is excusable that you perceive Phish as being an orgy of sex and drugs in their music and in their concerts. If that is only what you think of, no wonder that’s the only conclusion you can derive.
I looked up the actual lyrics of the songs you said symbolized spousal abuse, cocaine binges, and running out of marijuana; and I, a user of an occasional drug here and there, could not see these references you spoke of. Applying your logic, Prince Caspian is about slaves, picking cotton there whole lifes, or mexican farm workers, trapped in the depressive trends of our society. The Mango song, seems to be along the lines of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds in that it’s speaking of one elaborate acid trip, with little in the way of a clear meaning for the listener, there was absolutely no mention or even hidden reference of marijuana or running out of something. And in the last one, Bouncing around the room…. Spouse abuse really? Are you deriving that all from the lucid dream like statement of, looking through a crystal haze? Because “The woman was a dream I had” “For when my hand was holding hers” “The Echoe of whomever spoke.” Where is the villany? Where is the subversive speak? Where is this derisive talk you mention so much? I see a love story. I see an acid trip. I see the ramblings of a man pondering his existence as nothing more than an idea; a memory. WHY WHY? do YOU see such sick depravity? Is it YOUR mind perhaps? I have never heard of pedophilia at a Phish concert from my many phish loving friends ( I prefer STS9 or String Cheese). In fact all these mentioning of depraved acts, I hear happening at most shows. Not Phish. But most bands in the electronic and jam band scene. However, what you fail to mention, is that these actions are frowned upon by the band and fans who are there to have fun, not manipulate someone and try to hurt them. I’ve been to concerts where someone is shouting ket…ket..ketamine!! Trying to sell. And all the true fans, don’t want to hear it, and they sure as hell don’t what that shit drug and the crazy deranged users of that drug ruining the concert for them. So, just because there’s a crack addict in New York, you can’t postulate that all New Yorkers are crack addicts. Your logic is very fallible. Supply one ounce of credible evidence or journalism for that matter. I dare you.
For all the fans out there, I enjoy Phish. But, I do agree that sometimes their very talented music hangs on the fringe of eclectic. But because you one does not understand syncopation, does not mean that the music isn’t good. Maybe, one does not have refined ears, or perhaps, it just isn’t your taste in music. I’d suggest you don’t listen to it then and stop judging others. Perhaps it is the parents fault that they use so much drugs instead of the amorphous band which neither encourages nor discourages. They sing. Derive what you will. It’s your mindset not theirs that takes a personal story put into song and finds a sick a message. Pointing fingers is all fun and games. But, why don’t you try a revealing piece on the sexual child labor that children are forced into in third world countries. Save them, those who need the help more than a couple kids at a jam band concert. What is this article really doing to help others, besides yourself and the endless search for more readers.
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5:03 pm
“Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters?” (1 Cor 6:2)
Judge not, that ye be not judged (Matthew 7:1)
Have you been to a Phish concert? BTW, there is no THE, just Phish.
I am young; I am “uncorrupted” by a Phish concert. And I would also hesitate to lump the musically talented and formally trained musicians from Phish into “Rock n’ Roll.” Without first diving into the subtext of their folksy music. I understand that a mind, completely obsessed with those items which take us further from God, such as drugs, sex and pedophilia, would naturally seek out and derive these sub verse meanings from the songs; it is excusable that you perceive Phish as being an orgy of sex and drugs in their music and in their concerts. If that is only what you think of, no wonder that’s the only conclusion you can derive.
I looked up the actual lyrics of the songs you said symbolized spousal abuse, cocaine binges, and running out of marijuana; and I, a user of an occasional drug here and there, could not see these references you spoke of. Applying your logic, Prince Caspian is about slaves, picking cotton there whole lifes, or mexican farm workers, trapped in the depressive trends of our society. The Mango song, seems to be along the lines of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds in that it’s speaking of one elaborate acid trip, with little in the way of a clear meaning for the listener, there was absolutely no mention or even hidden reference of marijuana or running out of something. And in the last one, Bouncing around the room…. Spouse abuse really? Are you deriving that all from the lucid dream like statement of, looking through a crystal haze? Because “The woman was a dream I had” “For when my hand was holding hers” “The Echoe of whomever spoke.” Where is the villany? Where is the subversive speak? Where is this derisive talk you mention so much? I see a love story. I see an acid trip. I see the ramblings of a man pondering his existence as nothing more than an idea; a memory. WHY WHY? do YOU see such sick depravity? Is it YOUR mind perhaps? I have never heard of pedophilia at a Phish concert from my many phish loving friends ( I prefer STS9 or String Cheese). In fact all these mentioning of depraved acts, I hear happening at most shows. Not Phish. But most bands in the electronic and jam band scene. However, what you fail to mention, is that these actions are frowned upon by the band and fans who are there to have fun, not manipulate someone and try to hurt them. I’ve been to concerts where someone is shouting ket…ket..ketamine!! Trying to sell. And all the true fans, don’t want to hear it, and they sure as hell don’t what that shit drug and the crazy deranged users of that drug ruining the concert for them. So, just because there’s a crack addict in New York, you can’t postulate that all New Yorkers are crack addicts. Your logic is very fallible. Supply one ounce of credible evidence or journalism for that matter. I dare you.
For all the fans out there, I enjoy Phish. But, I do agree that sometimes their very talented music hangs on the fringe of eclectic. But because you one does not understand syncopation, does not mean that the music isn’t good. Maybe, one does not have refined ears, or perhaps, it just isn’t your taste in music. I’d suggest you don’t listen to it then and stop judging others. Perhaps it is the parents fault that they use so much drugs instead of the amorphous band which neither encourages nor discourages. They sing. Derive what you will. It’s your mindset not theirs that takes a personal story put into song and finds a sick a message. Pointing fingers is all fun and games. But, why don’t you try a revealing piece on the sexual child labor that children are forced into in third world countries. Save them, those who need the help more than a couple kids at a jam band concert. What is this article really doing to help others, besides yourself and the endless search for more readers. “Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters?” (1 Cor 6:2)
Judge not, that ye be not judged (Matthew 7:1)
Have you been to a Phish concert? BTW, there is no THE, just Phish.
I am young; I am “uncorrupted” by a Phish concert. And I would also hesitate to lump the musically talented and formally trained musicians from Phish into “Rock n’ Roll.” Without first diving into the subtext of their folksy music. I understand that a mind, completely obsessed with those items which take us further from God, such as drugs, sex and pedophilia, would naturally seek out and derive these sub verse meanings from the songs; it is excusable that you perceive Phish as being an orgy of sex and drugs in their music and in their concerts. If that is only what you think of, no wonder that’s the only conclusion you can derive.
I looked up the actual lyrics of the songs you said symbolized spousal abuse, cocaine binges, and running out of marijuana; and I, a user of an occasional drug here and there, could not see these references you spoke of. Applying your logic, Prince Caspian is about slaves, picking cotton there whole lifes, or mexican farm workers, trapped in the depressive trends of our society. The Mango song, seems to be along the lines of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds in that it’s speaking of one elaborate acid trip, with little in the way of a clear meaning for the listener, there was absolutely no mention or even hidden reference of marijuana or running out of something. And in the last one, Bouncing around the room…. Spouse abuse really? Are you deriving that all from the lucid dream like statement of, looking through a crystal haze? Because “The woman was a dream I had” “For when my hand was holding hers” “The Echoe of whomever spoke.” Where is the villany? Where is the subversive speak? Where is this derisive talk you mention so much? I see a love story. I see an acid trip. I see the ramblings of a man pondering his existence as nothing more than an idea; a memory. WHY WHY? do YOU see such sick depravity? Is it YOUR mind perhaps? I have never heard of pedophilia at a Phish concert from my many phish loving friends ( I prefer STS9 or String Cheese). In fact all these mentioning of depraved acts, I hear happening at most shows. Not Phish. But most bands in the electronic and jam band scene. However, what you fail to mention, is that these actions are frowned upon by the band and fans who are there to have fun, not manipulate someone and try to hurt them. I’ve been to concerts where someone is shouting ket…ket..ketamine!! Trying to sell. And all the true fans, don’t want to hear it, and they sure as hell don’t what that shit drug and the crazy deranged users of that drug ruining the concert for them. So, just because there’s a crack addict in New York, you can’t postulate that all New Yorkers are crack addicts. Your logic is very fallible. Supply one ounce of credible evidence or journalism for that matter. I dare you.
For all the fans out there, I enjoy Phish. But, I do agree that sometimes their very talented music hangs on the fringe of eclectic. But because you one does not understand syncopation, does not mean that the music isn’t good. Maybe, one does not have refined ears, or perhaps, it just isn’t your taste in music. I’d suggest you don’t listen to it then and stop judging others. Perhaps it is the parents fault that they use so much drugs instead of the amorphous band which neither encourages nor discourages. They sing. Derive what you will. It’s your mindset not theirs that takes a personal story put into song and finds a sick a message. Pointing fingers is all fun and games. But, why don’t you try a revealing piece on the sexual child labor that children are forced into in third world countries. Save them, those who need the help more than a couple kids at a jam band concert. What is this article really doing to help others, besides yourself and the endless search for more readers.
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7:01 pm
I go to phish shows to rape…………babies.
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7:06 pm
P.S. How you gunna rock some gay ass jersey shore shit on your facebook page ?
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10:45 pm
Have any of you idiots out there heard of The Colbert Report? Probably not. This is brilliant shit by a real Phish fan for real Phish fans. Well done, hilarious. (pranksters. bozos.)
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12:56 am
Dear Mr. Stephenson Billings
Hey if this really isn’t a joke and we are quoting bible verses, exodus 20 v 16 says: “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor”. There are plenty of FACTS you could post, but instead, you use the internet to write an article full of lies and internet distortions as your sourcing. No credible publication would have let this article past the fact checkers. You are distorting the bible to spread your message of hate in a way that is similar to what Al Qaeda has done with the Koran and for that matter, in the same way the Klan distorted the bible to preach hate. What ever happened to Lev.19:18: “Love thy neighbor as thyself”? No one is perfect, but as you are blatantly breaking the ten commandments, the foundation of Christianity itself, please, do not tell these people how they should lead their lives while being a hypocrite.
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1:16 am
You don’t have the slightest clue about Evangelical Christianity in America today.
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12:51 pm
I, however, a retired air force chaplain with a Masters of Divinity, who takes great exception to all the blanket statements against Christians, know exactly what Evangelical Christianity is all about, and it is far from the spirit of the Bible let alone the people the Bible is all about.
Anti-homosexual marriage and anti-abortion, with a propaganda machine that would make Nazi Germany jealous about sums it up, except to say that Evangelicalism is more in line with the picture of the cult painted in your article than Phish Heads and Dead Heads are or ever were.
Phish does not contain the definite article; The Grateful Dead does, but you wouldn’t say “The Barry Manilow.” It’s just the name Trey Anastasio and friends picked. They are very talented musicians with loyal fans, and music festivals are extremely fun. I have met more people that tell me of being beaten at home in the Church than among those who enjoy a happy home life at a show.
And what’s wrong with druggies anyway? Christ Jesus hung out with whores and those considered outsiders and outcasts by their “righteous” culture. In fact he himself was considered to be a drunk and possessed by demons. I’m not sure we’d recognize him, especially if we have the closed mind you espouse.
Your attacks against Catholicism are ugly, not in the spirit of the history of the Church, and definitely do not foster ecumenical relations, harming the already seedy reputation of the Church as a whole (including whichever splinter cell you consider yours).
Your comments on women being passed around the men shows you consider women to be second class citizens at best, property at worst. Do you think women are not as much to blame for the wrong-doing you are trying to warn parents about? Do you think they don’t have minds of their own? Do you think they cannot be, in fact, more kind, gentle, complex, and powerful than men ever were? How very unegalitarian of you.
Who needs your ministry most? Well-to-do parents, or the children you consider lost? If you really know about love, wouldn’t you side with the so-called “lost”? Wouldn’t you make yourself vulnerable and willing to trust the untrustworthy? Wouldn’t you be exemplary of altruism, lovingkindness, compassion, and gentle wisdom? Would you be a cause of peace or destruction? Would you snuff out a smoldering wick?
Why am I, a Christian, theologian, husband, friend, son, servant, volunteer, Lt. Colonel, environmentalist, activist, musician, and tree-climber here defending those you attack as you seek to warn the innocent away from corruption? Because I grew up in a broken home, learned many good things but also tried to fill the void within me with many bad things that did not satisfy. I know what it’s like to care about nothing but happiness and going about it in all the ways that lead away from it. I was not raised with spirituality, but became immersed in it at rock-bottom, at about the age of 19. Now, at 42, I’ve learned that happiness isn’t a bad thing. It’s not the ultimate thing, but it’s not something bad. There are so many genuine people out there who don’t think like I do, and I love it! They think a lot more like me than you could imagine. How can you take an Eastern religion, Christianity, and think it doesn’t apply to all people, thinking you can decide who to cast out and label?
I’m not even that into Phish; I like the John Butler Trio, Papadosio, The Byrds, The Dave Matthews Band, Sara Watkins, YMSB, and especially the Grateful Dead and all their musical influences (bluegrass, folk, rock, jazz, blues, Celtic, the poetry of Robert Hunter and his influences) and those they’ve influenced much more than I like Phish. I may not be a kid, but I’m still growing. I don’t consider myself better than anyone, though I struggle in my self-worth when I see people I consider better than me, a problem I need to work on because I should, instead, be happy for those truly better than me.
I think you should put a lot more meditation into what you say. Think of how your words might have an effect, both positive and negative, and on whom, before you say it. Have a good day.
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9:54 am
I find it really humorous that you talk about having to ingest a large amount of drugs to enjoy a Phish show. I was thinking how I would not be able to sit through a christian rock concert without ingesting at least 20lbs of heroin. PRAAAAAAAAISE JEBUS!!
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2:33 pm
Seriously OLD man! get with the times and the new consciousness. Yes, there are drugs at these shows, and yes people do get addicted to them. However, this happens EVERYWHERE you go! My parents are very dedicated Christians, and addicted to pain killers that the Dr. had prescribed. but for some reason it’s okay because it’s legal? Why don’t you write about all the thousands of Christians addicted to their Dr. prescribed Zoloft or Lortab that is not necessary but since it’s legal it’s okay?
trust me old man, there is no peer pressure at these things, only freedom. you are merely afraid of what you don’t know or understand. why don’t you actually go to a Phish show before you judge it?
I dropped out of high school and followed the Grateful Dead for several years. I am now 35, have my Master’s degree in biogeochemistry, and make a pretty descent living.
bottom line: you are a judgmental ignoramus and Jesus would be appalled
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8:53 pm
Stephenson,
My college journalism teacher taught us that one of the most important things for a journalist to do is cite your sources… with no sources, your credibility is non-existent. See you in the blue lot at Alpine!
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10:43 am
ha ha ha…Transvestite drummer Jon Fishman and shifty-eyed bassist Mike Gordon are clearly the most guilty of these auditory abuses. Transvestie drummer, doubt it, but shifty eyed bassist, yes. Hey Billihgs… You need a bong hit ?
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1:09 pm
“Why won’t you open your hearts and let me love you?”-billings
well steve this could lead to another “misunderstanding” with an underaged boy aka MOLESTATION.
by the way stevey, the band is called Phish. not “The Phish” you fucking tard.
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1:38 pm
WHY DID YOU PUT YOUR WEINER IN MY BUTT STEVE BILLINGS? YOU SAID THAT I WOULD BE ABLE TO LICK A SUCKER, WELL SUCKERS ARE SWEET….. THE THING YOU GAVE ME WAS SALTY!
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2:32 pm
The article was the funniest thing I ever read until the author posted this in response to criticism of him by a woman:
“Let the women learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.” –I Timothy 2:11-14.
So the author is a “Christian investigative journalist and former high school football player”. In other words, he collects Disability (probably for mental issues).
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4:05 pm
jesus christ LOVES phish. he told me so
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6:38 pm
Truly the most ignorant article I have ever read. May The Jesus have mercy on your soul.
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5:21 am
haha@ fucking brilliant!
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9:09 pm
O boy, excuse me Mr. Billings where is this coming from? Let me begin by saying I could not bring myself to finish reading this article as it was polluted with fictitious information from the get go. This may blow your mind but the band Phish, NOT The Phish is about making music, unlike the so called “successful” sell outs you named. If this article was not a joke than I beg of you to remove any reference to Brittany Spears, because I could prove 10 times over that she is ruining our culture faster than Phish will. Unless of course you think it is appropriate to raise a generation of pre-teen hussies always begging “give me more.” This is just the beginning of your ridiculous references and anyone with knowledge on this topic can see how much of a jack ass you look like. Excuse my language but this article is quite offensive to Phish fans so I feel they have every right to offend you back. Hold on tight to that bible Billings because I am sure Phish is coming soon to a town near you!
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11:35 am
Wow, ya’ll are fucked in the head. Anyone who regularly visits this site is fucked. I’m gonna go get drunk as fuck and smoke some hash.
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2:43 pm
I’m pretty sure Trey and Mike are deeply religious in Christianity and Judaism, respectively, and I’m not sure but maybe even Page and Fishman… these guys do not promote substance abuse or reckless behavior; bands cannot control the fans who come to their shows and participate in such acts, for they are confined to the stage from which they emit BEAUTIFUL music… Mr. Billings, I believe you are charged with one of the greatest crimes in America: IGNORANCE. BIASED, ARROGANT, JUDGMENTAL IGNORANCE. ignorance is one of the main reasons the rest of the world hates America. but you’ll never change, and will prob hit the books again, read some parables, maybe listen to some Christian rock/metal, and learn some more ignorance, ya chump. BLIND FOLLOWS THE BLIND! .. AAAAHHH I’M BURNING IN THE BOWELS OF HELL!!!……*dead*…… cant wait for Summer Tour 2011! GO PHIIIIIISH!!
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4:43 pm
I love Phish – saw my first show in 1996. I am truly amazed at what a horrible name these posters are giving to all lovers of The Phish.
I would suggest looking at the rest of the site before you comment you DUMB FUCKS! It’s called satire.
If the author is a fan of The Phish, then he too is probably disappointed that you fucking morons didn’t figure it out.
If the author is not a fan of The Phish, then sadly, you fucking jobless morons are proving his point!
One would hope for some kind of witty retort somewhere in the comments section, instead you have a bunch of complete douchebag wookies shooting off. It makes me sad.
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3:13 pm
Your foul, harsh language is giving all your comrades in this drug scene a bad name little lady.
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6:32 pm
I’m 19 years old. I love my family. I’m Catholic. I don’t do drugs or have reckless sex…
And oh yeah. Phish is my favorite band and I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE PHISH 2011 TOUR!! along with that I plan on going to many music festivals. You are the one who is closed minded and I do not appreciate the absurd message you are trying to preach. You are an embarrasment to my and other similar faiths. It’s people like you and articles like this that make religon a joke. So thank you sir, for making my beliefs a joke. You suck. Your article is crap. Bouncin round the room is a beautiful song with great harmonies and in no way shape or form makes referance to domestic abuse. I mean seriously!? This is absolutely ridiculous. If anything that song reminds me of waking up from a relaxing night sleep and recalling the final moments of a dream. You are attempting (unsuccessfully) to take a simple song and turn it into something evil and scary to push your self serving message. Talk about trying to convert people and manipulate them! Trey, Gordon, Fishman, and Page are incredibly talendted and easy going peopel just doing what they love. Playing their instruments, having fun and using their God given talents to make incredible music, in which I will continue to appreciate and support.
P.S you have shown your lack of journalism skills through lousy research. The band is Phish NOT “The Phish”… If we can’t rely on you to even get the band’s name correct, than how can you expect us to believe any of the other mindless banter you spout off here? Your credibility is shot Mr.Billings. Nice try though.
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10:25 pm
you are an awful man. nobody should be allowed to speak on matters they havent fully experienced. you sir claim to be a man of god. you should know you are tip toeing a dangerous line. your casting a heavy stone on what you say is the ENTIRETY OF PHISH. the band, fans etc. you call them transvestites. call the fans “all very young”. and you have never actually been there.
amazing.
what a god-like quality you have to know so much, while physically seeing so little. you should know sir… i have experienced the love and utterly complete human connection that seeing live music brings you. i have also had bad times.
thats exactly how the rest of my life has been. no broken mold there Billy.
i will say its odd you never mention the food at these events. its usually quite good! albeit expensive, its usually much better than at 6 flags. and im guessing since you rely so heavily on statistics, and statistics weigh so heavily on minorities you probably find a place like 6 flags abhorrent. seeing as many minorities make 6 flags a choice for a family day trip.
i would like to see all the people in the world like you disappear bill.
so the rest of us can ascend into intellectual heaven and worldly utopia.
i hate you,
love james
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3:14 pm
“nobody should be allowed to speak on matters they havent fully experienced.”
Right back at you, little lady.
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3:19 pm
Stop calling grown people “little”.
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12:28 pm
They share “‘drags’ from poorly-rolled blunts” I obviously know so much about blunt rolling
Fact is. I like to touch little boys without hair on their bodies while listening to Phish in a drug-induced stupor that should last hopefully forever. WWJD? He’d slap these assholes in the face and show them how to roll a blunt.
I’ll make sure that the next article I write you all will be investigated, referenced, and written just as horrendous as this article was. I probably should just kill myself before my children grow up to realize that daddy shouldn’t have put his finger in their little boy asses, but what PHUN would that be?
Super Faggot,
Stephenson Billings
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3:15 pm
Fake and you obviously know nothing of my work.
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5:48 pm
I hope people recognize that the “facts” in this are hardly truth.
Just one obvious example:
“”Origins of the Word “Phishing”
The word “phishing” comes from the analogy that Internet scammers are using email lures to “fish” for passwords and financial data from the sea of Internet users. The term was coined in the 1996 timeframe by hackers who were stealing America On-Line accounts by scamming passwords from unsuspecting AOL users. The first mention on the Internet of phishing is on the alt.2600 hacker newsgroup in January 1996, however the term may have been used even earlier in the printed edition of the hacker newsletter “2600″.
“Ph” is a common hacker replacement for “f”, and is a nod to the original form of hacking, known as “phreaking”. Phreaking was coined by the first hacker, John Draper (aka. “Captain Crunch”). John invented “hacking” by creating the infamous Blue Box, a device that he used to hack telephone systems in the early 1970s”
source: http://www.antiphishing.org/word_phish.html
If you can’t even get an easily verifiable fact correct, how can anyone take anything else you say seriously? Phish head or not.
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6:34 pm
Wow, I am truly convinced that you sir are out of your fu@&*#& mind. I am no Phish fan, and it is Phish not “The Phish”. But what you have written here is some of the most ridiculous garbage I have ever read. The ramblings of an ignorant bible thumping moron. I can only hope there aren’t many people out there who believe this shit. This is not how it is people, this man is crazy, do not believe a word. I am amazed by what you’ve written, though it was funny as hell! You need help. Idiot.
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9:36 am
I loathe you bible thumpers. Here is a bit of news for you buddy. That book you put so much faith in….FICTION! You are an utter moron & those who would believe you are even dumber than you. I can’t believe the absolute lies you spouted throughout this entire article. I am here to burst your bubble, we are nothing but intelligent, arrogant animals, except in your case obviously, not created by some wizard in the sky. I am not a huge Phish fan. But I do like them and have seen them on several occasions (though I missed out on all these orgy’s!). And oooh yes, I was high as a kite! Acid, Mushrooms, Pot, Opium, & a large amount of alcohol! I have tried it all & I had a great time! So unlike you, I speak from experience. And yet, here I am, great job, loving family and friends.
I look forward to a day with no religion. without people like you. then we will truly live in a peaceful world (also not created in 6 days by a celestial magician!). You are no better than an evil dictator lying to his people. That is exactly what this article is…LIES! You certainly have never taken any of these drugs you speak of. If so, this article would never have been written due to the epiphany you’d have during a beautiful mushroom trip. And to say that Marijuana and mushrooms are bad? Did your “God” make a mistake by creating them? You and those like you are what is wrong with the world, religious fanatics! There is no Judgment Day! You’re an idiot, stop talking about thing you have no clue about. Now I am off to get completely stoned. Thanks for the laugh moron.
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11:06 am
Idiot.
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7:53 pm
This sounds AWESOME! When is the next show?
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3:58 pm
umm stephenson you have a “ph” in your name must be a contribution to phish…. Sadly you are lying to people blatantly the reason the cyber crime is called Phishing was so people would see it is something other than “fishing” it makes it clearly different and malevolent. On the second note, this is by far the most bias piece of writing i have ever read. if i were you i would be embarrassed to call my self any sort of scholar you make a mockery to journalism.
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7:51 pm
Mr. Billings…
This is the 2nd article I’ve read of yours regarding this scene and “The Phish.” Can you please do me a favor….next time you write of “The Phish”…how’s about calling them Phish….THEY’RE ACTUAL NAME!
Anyway, I don’t get why you have your panties in such a bunch….everything you’re so against, is exactly what you promote, just on the other end of the spectrum. What I mean by this is…as strongly as you push against us, you try and throw your bible towards us. How is that not hypocritical? Why do you have to keep publishing these articles w/o true knowledge of what’s exactly going on?
You say that many kids leave “good christian homes” to be “on tour” and what not. I know many-a-christian who are on tour. It doesn’t matter what their faith is, they are human, so who cares? ALSO….how do you know that said “good christian homes” are actually that good? Maybe the kid(s) left due to other reasons….you really don’t know for sure. What I can say about that is the fact that while on tour, most people are treated kindly and fairly. Most people send out the love they receive. Being “on tour” is an excellent situation. How come sir, I ask now…why do you bash us? Why haven’t I seen any articles that you’ve written complaining about drunken tailgating parties and people driving while intoxicated after a football game, Mr. High School Football Athlete?
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10:39 pm
Are you kidding me sir? How could you spew this incomprehensible garbage about a group of musicians and fans that you know nothing about! I was raised a Christian, and have come to the realization over the years that there is no “one way” or “right way” to live except for do the very best you can with the gifts and talents you are given. Trust what you want, believe what you want, and accept other peoples right to do the same. Most importantly, I have learned to accept all people, even close-minded ones like yourself.
I have been going to Phish concerts for almost 20 years (probably 200 shows or so), and I have never seen anything even similar to what you are reporting. Sure there are plenty of drugs around (and I have done pretty much any one you could think of plenty of times), some people take a little too much and have taken off their clothes (it happens), but I’ve only seen this about 5 times of all the shows I’ve seen. I’m am a GOOD person who believes in a higher power that we humans will never understand. I believe in the inherent goodness of people. I’ve never been arrested, never been in a fight at a Phish show, and come to think of it, I’ve never seen a fight at a Phish show.
I’m not a Communist or a cyber-terrorist. I am a Libertarian. I see God in nature. I see POTENTIAL in people. I see great acts of true kindness in the Phish community.
Sir, music saved my life. Period. I found direction and purpose, and have gained best friends that I will treasure for the rest of my life. Because of Phish, I have seen Europe, Japan, and every square inch of this wonderful country I call home. I have never received a dime from my parents to see Phish. I used to follow Phish in an old VW van with my friends. I worked hard to save money to go on tour. I even managed to carry a 4.0 GPA as an undergrad while seeing Phish at every opportunity. And in case you are wondering, I attended one of the best universities in the U.S.
After graduation, I was unable to see Phish as much as I wanted, but I was able to fly to plenty of concerts, and stay in nice hotels. I certainly never hosted any orgies or pimped out any young girls for extra cash, as you claim is a common occurrence. As a gainfully employed tax-paying citizen for the next 10 years, I realized that money didn’t bring happiness, and neither did religion, Christians and Christian leaders kept letting me down. The happy constant was the music, and fellowship with other fans. I needed to make a difference, and be happy.
A few years ago, I quit my job, and went to get a Masters Degree (another 4.0, in case you are wondering), and followed that with a PhD (again, 4.0-never done before in my programs history). Now, I have the pleasure of TEACHING wonderful college students on a daily basis. I encourage them to THINK FOR THEMSELVES AND ALWAYS QUESTION EVERYTHING. I share with them my life experiences (including Phish) and even joined former students for the New Years Run this year. And by the way, I teach in the state in which you live (Tennessee if you couldn’t figure it out), so look out, you’ll have a bunch of free-thinking young people on your hands before you know it.
I’m also a researcher (I won’t dwell on your complete lack of true research as the basis for your “article”); I study human behavior. I know what you are, I know who you are. I know what I am, I know WHO I am. It is really nice knowing exactly who I am as a person. Are you sure you know who you are? If you really do know yourself, you must be disappointed or delusional.
I know Phish fans. They are for the most part just like any other community, but with a more loving, forgiving, and accepting spirit than anywhere I’ve ever been. Sure, we have our screw-ups, but we love them and want the best for them.
You may think I’m the exception here, I’m not. My group of immediate friends (all huge Phish fans) are quite successful. Lawyers, surgeons, salesmen, computer analysts, software engineers, parents, you name it. I’m not even close to being as smart or successful as most of my friends. We are pervasive, we are everywhere, and now….we’re having our own little free-thinking kids.
Look, Phish is not out to change anyone. They are musicians/artists just simply doing what they love. Quite honestly, they don’t have enough fans to support them through selling studio albums, they have to tour in order to thrive both musically and financially. I know certain members of Phish. They are good family, and we could all hope to be so lucky.
This country is changing. Like it or not, it is. The values of your generation are disappearing. You can fight it all you want, and quote the Old Testament until you are blue in the face, but it won’t work anymore. We changing the rules, gaining power in this country, and YOU can love it or leave it.
I know you have come under scrutiny for things you claim not to have done, and were supposedly exonerated for. You better hope that you really are innocent, for if you follow Christianity as you say you do, you have an eternity in hell to pay.
What I suggest you do is open you mind and ears, and shut your mouth. Just because you have the right to spew your ignorance, doesn’t mean you should.
Regards,
Dr. Buzz Killington
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9:07 pm
You, Mr Billings are an ignorant, incompetent, close minded, moron. What you wrote in this article is so false that it is hilarious. Not only is this article absolutely absurd, but every article on your website is mindless, ignorant propaganda. People like you are what scares me about this country. You should take this website down and go jerk off to Rush Limbaugh with the rest of your evangelical conservative morons.
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12:30 am
Dude are you actually being serious with this article? I would hope that you were just kidding around but after reading the whole thing I know you’re serious and I have never read anything so ridiculous or ignorant in my entire life. I have know idea where you came up with any of the statements you’ve made but you have given me a good laugh. “Hippie elders trading young girls”, LOL. The only person close to being like Charles Manson at a “The Phish” show is you. Even though you have given me a laugh, people like you shouldn’t be allowed to reproduce. Hopefully you haven’t. You certainly shouldn’t be allowed to print such stupidity and lies. You obviously have know life all I have to say is turn on, turn on and drop out. Hope you get dosed soon. thanks for your time, churCh
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1:35 am
Funny…we tend to listen to ‘bouncing round the room’ all the time while dancing with our children
Music is beautiful no matter what. You don’t have to be high to enjoy it….especially phish or the dead.
You shouldn’t judge other people because you’re stuck in a cult, I feel sorry for you and the fact you’re so closed minded. JESUS WOULDN”T APPROVE MY FREIND
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3:23 am
Stephenson,
Regardless of your original intent, I wanted to thank you for the devastatingly funny and ironic article! You definitely “hit a nerve”. The truth hurts…
I actually spent most of my high school and college years touring with Phish and eating “molly” like tic-tacs. Fortunately, I made it out alive with a few brain cells to spare. I actually survived and thrived for several years until my near-death experience at Big Cypress on New Year’s Eve 2000. I can honestly say that this was the single most traumatic, yet amazing event of my life! For this, I am truly thankful for Phish!!!
To make a long story short, I took a bunch of ecstasy, hit my head, got a concussion and got saved! Through which, I had an out-of-body experience that changed my life forever. After I received blunt trauma to the head, everything went black and I felt like I was being pulled down and sinking into oblivion. It was the most helpless and terrifying feeling I have ever experienced… After physically fighting for my life for several minutes, I cried out and called on the name of Jesus. When I did, everything stopped and I immediately went to a bright space where I was immersed and overwhelmed with the love of God. It was incredible and virtually indescribable!
There is much more to the personal experience, but words don’t do it justice. Ultimately, all that matters is that I accepted the mercy and grace of Jesus Christ and was given a second chance to live for something greater than myself. I hope all of my brothers and sisters out there have experienced the true love of YHWH. Peace Out~
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10:09 am
hahahaha. This made my morning. This article could have easily been written in 1968 and you could replace Phish with the Dead, etc. The author has obviously never been to a Phish show, or any concert for that matter. And, it is obvious that the author did absolutely no research before publishing the article.
When are people going to realize that drugs, etc., are everywhere (not just Phish shows) and the only way to keep kids off of them is consistently good parenting during the formative years. Per capita, you can find just as many drugs in the bathroom of an office party as you can at a Phish show. (Slight exaggeration, but not too far off.) To say that a talented music group is the catalyst for drug use is absurd. Even if Phish weren’t around, the people who want to do drugs are going to do them, and the people who don’t do drugs aren’t going to do them.
(The whole cult aspect of the article doesn’t even warrant a response.)
Anyway, thanks for the morning levity. Can’t wait to send this article to my friends and family so they can get a laugh as well.
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5:03 pm
You clearly have no musical or social understanding whatsoever. Please DO NOT bad mouth MUSIC AND THINGS YOU DON”T UNDERSTAND!
And by the way, why not read a little more into the fact that Trey Anastasio (who was indeed arrested on drug related charges) is now a great spokesperson for recovery. His band broke up and he nearly ruined his life because of drugs, but now he is back on top clean and sober, new tours and new music. Stop whining and go listen to whatever it is you consider good music. Needless to say your opinion literally means nothing and I seriously doubt that anyone reading this trash would stop going to Phish shows (and whats with “The Phish? Thats like saying “The Pink Floyd”.
I hate hearing people take advantage of religion for their own personal BULLSHIT! SEE YOU ALL AT WATKINS GLENNNNN!!!!!!
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2:18 am
Those Damn “The Phish”…man you are a wackjob. It is very ironic that people like you (religious nutjobs) are the very people that are threatening to unravel the fabric of humanity. Not only do I weep for you and your ignorance, but I weep for society because people like you will ultimately bring everyone down with them. There is a time and place for faith and religion, but to write such horseshit about a band is unacceptable. Kids are smoking a little grass….sure that didnt happen until Phish came around… Get educated sir. Get a life!
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4:57 am
Thanks! Goog work.
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2:48 pm
what a hoot, this thread is….amazing how Stepehenson takes a small part of what is happening, and blows it WAYYYYYY out of proportion…..any reasonable human being will go to Phish shows and dance their asses off, whether high or not…the players are just that good…the music drives the people…..and I’d much rather have my kids go to Phish shows then become a choir boy that gets sodomized by the wonderfully Christian priests that abuse these kids with their power-cocks…..what is up with that????? Every day I read more sex scandals in the church than I do of people getting arrested at Phish shows….and in case he is not aware, doing fdrugs is a personal choice, and Phish may play around with stoney lyrics, it’s still up to the individual if they choose to imbibe…..no one forces dope down anyone’s throat….but the Christians??/ holy canolli- they will drag you kicking and screaming to enter their religion, and always say that it’s their way or the hell-way……religion just seperates people…..we are all one, and lets behave as such….look at the middle east…yikes !!
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3:43 am
BAHAHAHAHA!! this is the funniest thing i’ve ever read, its gonna keep me laughing for weeks! i pray this is a joke written by phan. but even if its not its equally hilarious, the level of fear and misunderstanding someone can have for such a harmless, benign, and good natured band and truly gifted band.
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2:06 pm
This article has got to be the most uninformed, ignorant piece of literature I’ve ever laid my eyes on. I have seen phish close to 20 times since the reunion and have not once ever masturbated at a show, or seen anyone else do so. The Phans are like a family and to say that there is pedophilia rampant at these shows is extremely insulting. You think Christ is god, I think Trey is god, and the funny part about that is, we are both wrong.
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5:09 am
My God….
I’m a fan of Phish. I’m a fan of music. I do not use drugs….nor do I judge anyone that does. I don’t need drugs to enjoy Phish….they are musical geniuses. I don’t like Metallica…but I can appreciate that they are amazing musicians.
It’s clear to me that one of two things is going on here:
One: the person who wrote this article in a complete imbecile since he clearly has no idea what he’s speaking of. The Phish? Really?
Two: the person who wrote this article is fucking comedic Andy Kaufman-like genius!
But I’m going to go with the first option since this is a Christian website and below my comment I’m seeing headlines such as “is my husband GAY?” and “how to spot a masturbator” Here’s your answer: look in the mirror.
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1:06 am
This is freakin’ hilarious! Nice work. LMAO
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2:33 pm
How did you know that they were “poorly-rolled blunts”?
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3:05 pm
Phish sucks. Old man is crazy for sure, but so are you hippies. Phish really does suck. Ive seen em. Waste of money. I even tried being in the drugs. It didnt help.
Like the old saying goes “Jerry’s dead, Phish sucks, get a life.”
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5:05 pm
You are a complete idiot to blame a rock band for our social decline. Pedophiles? Drug king-pins? They wheel out NO2 tanks after every show…where the hell was I for all of this free nitrous? What you have said here is slanderous and down right nasty…you, sir, are a moron!
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1:55 pm
7 phish shows, sober everytime. Best band out there. Try it before you knock it. You’re an idiot
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7:12 pm
I am a god fearing man. I would like to start off saying thank you. I WAS a fan of The Phish but after reading this article I will no longer listen to them. I have been to 15 shows over the span of 8 years and NEVER have I seen any of these crazy happenings. I HAD a lot of friends who like The Phish. But if they choose to associate with people like what I just read I want nothing to do with them. This is the dumbest article I have ever read. Please put away your torches and pitchforks. Maybe go to a show and see for yourself how things REALLY are, and what REALLY happens. Until that time, please “judge not lest ye be judged.” And base your “journalism” on facts.
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4:46 pm
I’m a phishhead, and in college unike the writer of this article, apperently your brain got damaged playing football and now you got no friends so you right bull shit and spread lies, fuck you devil worshipper, and no im not a democrat nor am i a republican because you got to be in the middle to know whats right and wrong thanks for your worthless knowledge douschemcgook quit raping boys and spreading lies you might just get into heaven.
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7:26 pm
just like the rest of the bible you have taken phish’s lyrics out of context. just what exactly are the children in the fields chaffing in “prince caspian?” I noticed that “wheat” was conveniently left out.
not that it would change your mind. also – phish and phishing have nothing to do with each other.
the lack of research in this article is shocking, but as i read the titles to other articles on this website i am almost second-guessing my decision to comment on this page.
christ would be ashamed of your lies.
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7:35 pm
On Stephenson’s facebook page, he lists Jersey Shore as a television show he likes.
Doesn’t that show highlight and celebrate adultery, domestic abuse and battery, and drug use (alcoholism).
Stephenson wouldn’t be a hypocrite now would he?
Just for the record, my girlfriend and I both attend Phish shows, sober.
While I am agnostic, she is a devout Christian, and neither of us do drugs.
Maybe some people just like the music? Phish has such a large following around the world, that people from all walks of life, listen and enjoy their music.
But to you it’s not about the music, and I don’t even think it’s necessarily about religion. There are many bands, whose fans use marijuana, alcohol, and other substances.
This is strictly about politics, and yes GWB used cocaine, he admitted it for God’s sake!
Your ignorance is astounding, and one day you will have to stand before your maker and explain to him, your reasons for hate and hypocrisy, neither of which are Christian ethos.
Do yourself a favor, procure a middle school science text book, and open your mind. You’d be amazed how the world really works.
Best wishes,
B
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1:25 pm
Hahahah…. this is the dumbest, most horridly skewed article I’ve ever read.
Stephenson, you may want to do a little research before you spend so much time writing your dribble.
“Marijuana” and “Christmas without Marijuana” are definitely NOT Phish songs. You can’t find a single source that says so, unless its a falsely labeled song you illegally downloaded off Kazaa or Napster.
Other blatantly false statements like “Bouncing Round the Room” being about a man beating his wife…. I assume you haven’t looked at the lyrics, because nothing about that song says “beating wives.”
The band “pays” for hospital NO2 to be distributed through the show and parking lots… Again, completely false, and a statement you can provide absolutely no proof for.
The problem that you share, which is a real problem with many drug-addled hippies that attend Phish shows, are not a result of the band, or anything the band does. Its a result of a growing mass of people who feel disassociated society as a whole, and with nut-bags such as yourself.
Phish plays music… good music that thousands of people can, and do relate to, and enjoy listening to. What drives so many people to these shows is the experience that they are sharing in the music with those who play it. Their level of musicianship, and ability to improvise full band compositions are what drive people to these shows. This idea that the band is some sort of group out to rape our youth is honestly the short-sighted, mind numbingly dumb idea based on nothing but assumptions and your false “facts.”
And while I’m at it….. communism?! You think that people sharing food and eating organic is somehow anti-Jesus? I assume you would then suggest that capitalism and free-market economy is the way to go…..
Jesus would tell you that you’re completely wrong. Being a devote Christian, you should know this above all people. Jesus wanted, and wants nothing to do with the everyday evils, greed, and subjugation of every folk that IS capitalism. There’s not a legit priest/historian in the world that would agree with these statements.
If you have a problem with weed, drugs, and degenerates, then you have a problem with concerts in general. Its not Phish that does this… its people.
Honestly, you should be ashamed of yourself. Nice integrity with this article… real nice.
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1:28 pm
Hahahah…. this is the dumbest, most horridly skewed article I’ve ever read.
Stephenson, you may want to do a little research before you spend so much time writing your dribble.
“Marijuana” and “Christmas without Marijuana” are definitely NOT Phish songs. You can’t find a single source that says so, unless its a falsely labeled song you illegally downloaded off Kazaa or Napster.
Other blatantly false statements like “Bouncing Round the Room” being about a man beating his wife…. I assume you haven’t looked at the lyrics, because nothing about that song says “beating wives.”
The band “pays” for hospital NO2 to be distributed through the show and parking lots… Again, completely false, and a statement you can provide absolutely no proof for.
The problem that you share, which is a real problem with many drug-addled hippies that attend Phish shows, are not a result of the band, or anything the band does. Its a result of a growing mass of people who feel disassociated society as a whole, and with nut-bags such as yourself.
Phish plays music… good music that thousands of people can, and do relate to, and enjoy listening to. What drives so many people to these shows is the experience that they are sharing in the music with those who play it. Their level of musicianship, and ability to improvise full band compositions are what drive people to these shows. This idea that the band is some sort of group out to rape our youth is honestly the short-sighted, mind numbingly dumb idea based on nothing but assumptions and your false “facts.”
And while I’m at it….. communism?! You think that people sharing food and eating organic is somehow anti-Jesus? I assume you would then suggest that capitalism and free-market economy is the way to go…..
Jesus would tell you that you’re completely wrong. Being a devote Christian, you should know this above all people. Jesus wanted, and wants nothing to do with the everyday evils, greed, and subjugation of every folk that IS capitalism. There’s not a legit priest/historian in the world that would agree with these statements.
If you have a problem with weed, drugs, and degenerates, then you have a problem with concerts in general. Its not Phish that does this… its people.
Honestly, you should be ashamed of yourself. Nice integrity with this article… real nice. I’ve been listening to Phish, and going to Phish shows since I was 13. I’m now 25, working at one of the most successful companies in the world right now. I live a good life, treat people with love and respect, and can support your family along with mine if I wanted to. How did I become such a successful and vital member of society if I am some drug-addelled idiot like you suggest?
My suggestion to the Mom- grow up and let your son have experiences of his own. Take him out of Church, and let him see some music and film. Let the kid read books that aren’t about Jesus and Church, and he’ll actually become a good human being.
Otherwise, he’ll likely end up like the short-sighted, racist, completely mis-informed morons who run this site.
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4:30 am
someone dose-rape this clown and drop him in the middle of superball9 . That’s what he needs
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6:38 pm
I didn’t even finish the first four paragraphs this story is a load of bullshit.
If anyone’s trying to brainwash anyone it’s you, with these twisted words.
FOR YOUR JOURNALISTIC INFORMATION: MARIJUANA AND CHRISTMAS WEED SONG IS NOT BY PHISH.
Phish are professional musicians, just like John Lennon, Jimi Hendrix and Maynard Keenan
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2:28 pm
You’re an idiot. You don’t understand music, you don’t understand the word happiness, and you don’t understand the fakt that if you’re writing an article, at least 10% of it should be somewhat close to the truth.
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11:42 am
Yes the members of phish are devil spawn, you finally figured it out. If we removed these non-mainstream musicians from the world there would be no more drug use, no more wars, no more problems.
You hit it right on the head OP.
wow, just wow
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5:00 pm
Dear Sir,
I would like to thank you for all of the good jokes! This made my day much better.
Much love
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11:07 pm
No to Phish? Blasphemy! Gtfo my Internet.
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8:25 pm
You seem very preoccupied with sexually deviant thoughts and behaviors. The stark contrast between what is really going on at these concerts and what you are choosing to believe, can only lead one to think you have many insecurities you need to deal with, specifically regarding your sexual fantasies in public and masturbation. Before you write such an article, please remember, it is not appropriate to make everything have sexual undertones, it is clearly a problem of yours, not the problem of others.
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2:06 am
Do you know what really pisses me off?
Rolling Stone magazine has an article about the miserable state of the concert industry and I get shut out from buying tix for the phishe in Chicago.
The phish are a band that appeals to great hoards of unsaved reefer junkies, enough to fill alpine valley’s sin scape. Why are they playing such a small gloryhole like the uic pavilion?
And why indoor shows in August? Isn’t there enough heat from the weather and that generated from the devil music to stage their blasphemy outdoors? Maybe they want the youngsters to pass out quicker before they bugger and sell them into the white slave sex cartels.
This is reasonable proof that Stephenson was right. The phishe are a drug band and need to be stopped.
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3:36 pm
Bro, if you call this band, “The Phish”, you obviously have NOT done your research before writing this article, amateur. Go home, and try again, you have failed as a writer and a christian.
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11:41 am
How did I get redirected to the Onion? All I know is this Stephenson Billings guy is pretty hot, and I would love to rub my shaven sack on his shiny, bald dome. Maybe slap him across the face with my cock a few times. You in Steve?
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7:13 am
As a Christian who appreciates Phish, I have to say that this is not the least bit offensive. Because none of it is true. I saw Phish last Summer and it was while I was in the show that I made the decision to move back home to my Christian family from my apartment, so that I could spend more time with them. We stayed in a hotel, and no one that I was with had sexual contact with anyone, and there was definitely no nudity at the show. I found it to be a place that was far less focused on sexuality than your typical high school, or any given TV station. Britney Spears is far more explicit.
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2:14 pm
I’ve been getting ripped off! I’ve never seen titties or mushroom-induced orgies at a Phish show! GIMME TITTIES OR GIMME MY MONEY BACK!
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2:47 pm
Absolute fucking swill. And it’s Phish, not “The Phish”… that’s some quality “investigative journalism” when you can’t even get the band’s name right. This is nothing more than straight up slander, at least, it would be if it were in print anywhere besides an obviously biased platform that no one who doesn’t already share your laughable beliefs takes seriously.
There are all kinds of people in this world, and it’s not up to you to impose your morals on anyone else, or to decide how others should or shouldn’t live.
I’ll rage a little harder on tour just for you this summer, douchebag.
(And for the record…I think “Motivational Children’s Party Entertainer” sounds a hell of a lot shadier than anything I’ve ever seen go down at a Phish show.)
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7:48 pm
I cannot take you seriously. This must be a joke.
If this is not a joke, I hope to God you did not procreate. This hate, fear and bigotry you spread needs to die out. If you do have children I hope for their sake they become exposed to life outside your sad box of fear and misunderstanding. I hope they get the chance to experience phish and the festival scene.
As a Catholic (probably think that’s a cult too? you freak), as a professional, as a family man, as a proud citizen and as lover of the beauty the world provides; I am sure of two things…
Phish and the Dead rule. And you have the IQ of a rock.
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9:39 am
This is the funniest yet saddest thing I ever read. Funny because it sounds like a joke, but sad because i grew up in a hardcore Christian church and I know it probably isn’t. Have you ever been to a Phish concert? Clearly not. How about you do articles on something you actually know something about instead of just blind faith, the same blind faith you have in your religion instead of experiencing and practicing it. So ignorant, so naive, so UN-CHRIST-LIKE you people are.
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9:52 am
You clearly aren’t a good follower of Christ. Shame on you. So judgemental and ignorant.
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10:29 am
is this guy serious? phish will never lead to mass suicide or rape or gun violence. this dude is a piece of shit who’s never opened his eyes to the outside world and lives under this religious rouse and thinks hes better than everyone. guess what if your supposed god created everything than he CREATED phish you dumb s.o.b and to talk ill of them is passing judgement is i believe is one of your dumb sins. all you bible pushers are the same so afraid to enter the real world hiding behind some books that has stories of a supposedly real man who was in essence perfect and needs to be worshiped bc ummmmmm maybe he ate to much moldy rye bread tripped out and thought he was the son of god. i’ve seen it happen a few times at phish shows haha. phish is about the only thing holding music together at this point and anyone trying to stop them is a fucking retard. wtf is a good christian family? get the fuck off your high horse and let people do what they want.
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12:08 pm
I was almost raped at an Olivia Newton John concert in the early 80s when a crazed homogay mistook me (from behind mind you) for John Travolta. I cannot imagine that your Phish band are as virtuous as the holy Olivia nor the crowds any more moral. Stephenson’s article is simply chilling. I imagine there is even more depravity that he failed to mention due to journalistic probity and a brave attempt to spare his devout readership the most sordid details.
Matthew 18:20
“For where two or three are come together in my name, there am I among them.”
The Bible does not say “where hordes of unemployed hippies come together in the name of rock and roll music.”
As the blessed St Francis would most probably have said were he alive to see such travesties today:
“Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is Body Odour, a Phish concert.”
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1:59 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sD_6vIhE2dg&feature=player_embedded#at=93 here is some facts for you mr.billings
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8:55 am
well, it’s official–the vast majority of thephishheads dont understand satire.
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11:07 am
As I started reading this, I really thought it was a joke. Sadly, there is so much misinformation in this article that it makes me sick to my stomach. Phish “pays to have nitrous tanks in the parking lot” ?! Where in God’s name do you get this information?! You are an absolute fool…no, you’re an asshole.
You’re right though, maybe we should all go follow Britney Spears. We should act more like her…but wait, she had a drug problem too, slutted herself around Hollywood, and had a mental breakdown.
If you ever actually attended a Phish show, you would easily find doctors, lawyers, teachers, psychologists..you name it. I KNOW this because I have been seeing Phish since 1996, and I am a neuro surgeon. So in the immortal words of Trey, “Kiss my ass you fucking tool.” My your lies and poor judgment sentence you to an unhappy life forever. Have PHUN wallowing in your sorrow.
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11:15 am
Jon, that wasn’t very nice. You have hurt my feelings today.
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11:45 am
A neuro surgeon? God defend us from the public health system with creatures like you wandering around. I expect you jack up the ice crystals with your other ‘professional’ friends while you are attending such immoral concerts. How you ever graduated from medical school is miraculous – perhaps God, in his infinite grace, took pity on you and your gaysexual brethren and decided to give you all real jobs. Then again, I think it provides yet more evidence of God’s ironic side – He is not averse to a bit of fun now and again, promoting the dregs of society to positions of privilege to which they are so patently incapable.
However, God always has a holy plan. I expect that you and your band of incompetent, drug-taking hippy teachers, doctors and lawyers practice in a Muslim or Mexican urban ghetto where your malpractice can only benefit our Christian brethren.
Neuro surgeon? I think you mean neurotic surgeon after all that LSD and syphillis you inject yourselves with at these Phish concerts.
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1:23 am
No wonder you lean upon God and Christianity like a crutch. With a face like that, I’m surprised even God can stomach you.
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1:28 am
I am sorry. I told my friend to type attitude. I don’t know why she said face.
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1:46 am
Being a schizophrenic, Is your “friend” actually you?
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2:08 am
hahaha. no. she is a very real, flesh-and-blood human sitting right next to me. She is one of the few people who put up with me. at least, i think she is flesh-and-blood. she never let me test her out… just kidding. wonder how many of you will take that one seriously.
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2:16 am
Plus I don’t see things. Occasionally when my meds wear off I become freaking paranoid and lock myself in the closet, but i have never hallucinated.
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2:30 am
I wasn’t insinuating that you hallucinate, but that some schizophrenic’s actually remember what the “other” person did. I have never met a schizophrenic, as the Christian Community is not filled with people that have been diseased by God. I will pray for your quick recovery from this infliction.
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2:57 am
Schizophrenia isn’t something you can “recover” from. Trust me. If there was a cure I would sell my soul to get my hands on it. But for right now all I can do is be a good little nut case and take my meds. And to also stay away from sharp objects when I’m really messed up, I don’t feel like another month in a straightjacket in a padded room. That’s what I got last time I went off my meds and slit my wrists. still have the scars as well. I am not diseased. It is a mental disorder. Nothing I could have done could have prevented it. And the other person is a living breathing human. NOT a figment of my imagination or an alternate personality. And would you like to know why the christian community is not filled with “diseased” people? It’s because most over the top christians make us feel like we are no good an imperfect and have no hope of getting into heaven. I had one person actually tell me that I was possessed and that is because I listened to the satanic band Tokio Hotel and they let demons into my mind. So I can fully well understand if you see few “Diseased” people in your Christian Community.
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1:17 am
I was hurt by the “soundtrack to schizophrenia” remark. I do not listen to Phish and I am a diagnosed schizophrenic with psychopathic tendecies. I know this is all satire, but that comment deeply offended me. The type of music I listened to has nothing to do with being schizophrenic, it’s just the way i am. Thank you for giving me yet another reason to be embarrassed to be a christian. I guess you are going to say listening to Tokio Hotel, Blood on the Dance Floor, Black Veil Brides, and Bullet for my Valentine are also soundtracks to schizophrenia and are what led to my schizophrenia. But this is not true. i was diagnosed schizophrenic long before I was introduced to these bands and they have helped me out for some reason. This is a very offensive article, even if it is satire.
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12:42 pm
Love how Bruce hasn’t replied to my comment. Did I offend you? If I did, I am not sorry. Just wanted to get it.
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10:09 am
successful troll is successful!
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10:14 am
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5:24 pm
Mr. Billings,
I preface this with that I am a successful lawyer,a happily married father of two (with a third on the way) and a Phish fan.
Although your article mentions drug use, unfortunately this may be true. However, drug use is found not only in Phish shows, but Rolling Stones shows and most other rock and roll concerts.
Regarding the sex at the shows, that is completely false. You have come under a lot of heat, as can be seen in the comments section. I would suggest, for you the sake of your credibility as a journalist, to actually attend a Phish show to see for yourself what happens at these shows. In fact you will see that there is no sex happening (no concert venue would allow that to happen anyway), no serious debauchery, and generally nice people (although you will see people smoking marijuana). Even if you decide not to attend a show, at least go speak to the concert event staff at the venue where Phish has recently played and ask them how the Phish concertgoers were. I think you’ll be surprised that the event staff will tell you that those Phish fans are some of the nicest people that the staff has dealt with.
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11:39 am
Those Phish fans need to read the f*cking book!
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2:10 pm
we do… its call “the Helping Friendly book” not the one King James rewrote… get a life and leave ppl alone
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2:07 pm
its Phish… how would you like to be referred to as “The Christians”… or is it “The Jesus” that saved you.. “The Ignorant” is what you should be called.. thanks for the laugh tho..
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2:45 pm
Sooooo silly!!!!! Can’t believe this is meant to be serious and not a script for a late night comedy show…so many things are wrong in this article, people should make sure they know what they are talking about before publishing a story, it only makes them look stupid and naive…
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3:01 pm
Is this article even real?
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3:23 pm
dude, you’re more delusional than 80% of the phans when theyre facin, get a grip on reality man. set the gearshift for the high gear of your soul
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4:30 pm
I am not sure which is funnier, the article or all of these people believing it is serious. Check out the rest of the website. This is classic satire, and it is pretty well-done apparently. There were a lot of people that thought Johnathon Swift was serious about eating Irish babies too.
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4:30 pm
I am not sure which is funnier, the article or all of these people believing it is serious. Check out the rest of the website. This is classic satire, and it is pretty well-done apparently. There were a lot of people that thought Johnathon Swift was serious about eating Irish babies too.
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11:42 pm
phish>god
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2:54 pm
Are you kidding me? Have you ever been to a PHISH show? The people you are talking about are not the majority of the fans. Majority of the fans have followed them from the begining and now are grown up professionals. I have a masters degree, I follow PHISH, I’d let my children follow PHISH, and I don’t do drugs. It’s about the music. So don’t go judging others when you have NO idea what it’s all about. These momma’s crying that their teens are hooked on drugs blame anyone they can but the fact of the matter is they should blame themselves. Majority of Phish fans are peacefully human beings that except all people regardless of differences. Unlike many “Christians” that think they are above the rest. PHISH fans consists of Christians, non-Christians, doctors, lawyers, teachers, religous leaders, students, parents, etc that come together for the love of music. Get over it and work on yourselves!
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9:41 am
Nobody fucks with The Jesus (or The Phish)
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10:28 pm
Mr Billings your scare tactics and untruths make you look like an idiot and anybody who believes your nonsense is the same. You have simply regurgitated the same evangelical rubbish from the eighties and put a Phish spin on it. I was forced to listen to wackos like you when I was young about the evil dangers of rock music and all that subliminal hoopla. I have no idea why you wrote this article but do yourself a favor next time and do some research. Who is your next piece on, Jimmy Buffett?
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12:15 pm
hi..
its a rock concert….full of lots of different people. some go to listen to the music. some go to party.
to condemn phish for playing music is absurd.
maybe you should get off your high horse and realize that grown people making their own decisions. people are allowed to have the freedom to do what they want in life. it is people like yourself, stephen, that live your life worried about the consequences of your future. do not sit in judgement of anyone, lest ye be judged yourself.
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12:16 pm
hi..
its a rock concert….full of lots of different people. some go to listen to the music. some go to party.
to condemn phish for playing music is absurd.
maybe you should get off your high horse and realize that grown people make their own decisions. people are allowed to have the freedom to do what they want in life. it is people like yourself, stephen, that live your life worried about the consequences of your future. do not sit in judgement of anyone, lest ye be judged yourself.
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3:44 pm
Ooooohhhh! Let’s not “judge” anyone because you say so! You have no clue about that passage in Matthew. Do you think the Bible is saying, “Let’s not judge the pedophiles and rapists!” Oh no, don’t want to judge them! We shouldn’t point out the dangers of drugs or child predators because we wouldn’t want to get caught “judging”!
Sorry, you’re an imbecile.
“The Scriptures do not forbid all judging of sin, but in fact they require us to practice it.”
http://www.gospelway.com/topics/teaching/judge_not.php
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8:31 am
I see you. I know what you are. I know that evil is all that you desire and you want it for everyone. You hate yourself, and I dont blame you, but i can see that manifest evil that lives and breathes and feeds off of your inability to understand the word of God because of how mislead and decieved you are. i see you. I know you love darkness rather than light because your deeds are evil, and you love the den you’ve made yourself.
Now, you can continue on< i dont want you to change< im never gonna speak to you again_ur going to stay here< accomplishing nothing as u always have, and always will, this is ur destiny it seems, but those of us in christ will intercede for you and one day you will know the truth and be free as well. until then, i guess u will have to wait and be an example unto all men of filthy rags, since righteousness is non becoming of you.
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12:25 pm
Phish does an excellent verison of Paul and Silas
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3nY5VFfPF4
Have you heard it?
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3:49 pm
That made me very uncomfortable, like watching an obese man in a speedo bend over to pick up a hotdog in the sand.
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12:29 pm
Phish does an excellent version of Paul and Silas…check it out!!
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3:20 pm
Nice generalizations you self-righteous hate monger. Will your next article be about televangelists who abuse drugs and alcohol, cheat on the spouses and pocket the donations while “doing the Lord’s work”? Perhaps you should write about all of the church led crimes in history, such as the Crusades?
To squash another of your generalizations, I’m not some kid doing whippets at a concert. I may in fact be older than you are. I respect people and their beliefs as opposed to you who condemn people who do not think as you do. By you’re reasoning concerts are ok for Jews, Hindus, Buddhist, Muslims and anyone else you deem inferior. Try meeting and listening to people instead of judging them from your perch of insecurity.
It is a concert. There’s no hidden meaning in the music. In any large gathering of people – concerts, sporting events, church services – there will be people who do or say things that might not be acceptable or the ‘right thing’. I’d rather my son went to see fish than on a religious retreat with Cardinal Law.
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3:46 pm
Thank you for emailing us from your prison cell. Clearly, your story of crime and hedonism should have a chilling effect on the youth caught up in this reckless trend.
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12:32 pm
This is truly the biggest load of shit I have ever heard. First off, it’s not “The Phish”, it’s just Phish. Second, there is no song called Christmas without Weed, or Marijuana. This article proves what an ignorant asshole you truly are. As a “Christian” aren’t you supposed to love people of all walks of life? These people are far from dangerous; sure, if you want drugs, you can find them, but people aren’t forcing them down anyone’s throat. I’ve been a Phish fan for years, and I’m not a drug user. The reason they travel is because there is such a huge community of fans out there. We love to see them whenever we can, and it’s like going home to family as soon as you get to the lot. I have never met people as generous and as willing to help others then the ones I’ve met at shows. Open your eyes and your heart and quit being a “Sunday Christian” by judging people that you don’t know and don’t understand.
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1:15 pm
I honestly though I was reading an Onion article. It wasn’t until I saw the comments that I realized this guy was serious. Oh man, I hope you never have kids, cause they’ll be so miserable living with your ignorance. Wow.
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2:12 pm
Steve,
Your narrowed agenda and thought process is pathetic. No one cares about your personal view…maybe Sarah Paline supporters, but who cares what those dumbasses have to think. Way to generalize millions of music fans. You sir need a reality check…
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1:55 pm
Truth be told, Stephenson does touch a sensitive cord with many fans because what he says is PARTLY true. Most people at Phish concerts are making poor decisions. I know because I’ve been to about 5 Phish shows in the NC, SC, GA area and there certainly is a lot of drug use and I have seen awful things like a mother fishing out on nitrous next to her baby daughter. There’s no doubt in my mind that some horrific things have taken place at Phish shows and I’m sure there have also been some wonderful charitable things that came out of a Phish show. It’s a huge scene that is easy to stereotype. If Mr Billings were actually a fair and balanced journalist he may not have gone so far as to indict the band or make such lewd claims about masturbation in the Port O Johns, but nevertheless it is certain that the latter has happened before, because I did that myself once I’m almost positive. it was late and I was frustrated, as he indicated. Still, there’s no reason to get all DEFENSIVE, Phish fans. If anything take this with a grain of salt and look at your scene and decide if you’re using this congregation and gathering place as best you can to further the future of this land for your children. Maybe Stephenson isn’t a great Christian, maybe he is. But if you’re really all interested in love, as many of you say you are, then there’s no point in focusing on all the bad parts of Christianity and perpetrating all of this hatred. Be reasonable. Take a deep breath and look in the mirror. Have you read a good book or been keeping up with the news lately? Have you helped out in the community lately by volunteering for a non-profit? Or disposed of your resources to further a noble cause? Are you a good role model to kids? Let’s try and be positive here by respecting each other and our differences.
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8:13 am
you are all absoluetly the most decieved and humiliating bunch of lost sheep i have ever heard of. You are lost and completely full of shit. there is no truth or goodness in this website or any of you who read this hate and disrespect. forgive them for they know not what they do or say or believe. im glad the kingdom is not in your hands< but in mine. i wont leave you behind< i just hope you stop damaging the truth of the gospel by ur foul mouthed gossip, and immaturity in the things of God.
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3:28 pm
Well, Mr. Billings, there is no need to try to discredit you. Much of what you talk about undoubtedly happens. What you fail to consider is that its going to happen regardless of what you say, or the spin you put on the story. I too very much like the band Phish, but I partake in none of the drugs you say are so prevalent to fans. I simply enjoy the music stylings and harmonies that they use and perform. As to the rest of the many many posters on here, well, please don’t think them indicative of ALL the fans, merely those who don’t like the Christian right-leaning perspective you have.
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9:17 pm
People! It’s satire! What in the world? Didn’t you laugh very hard???
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10:33 pm
This is quite blown way out of proportion. I’m not only a devoute fan but I am also a Reverend. Yes, there is some drug use. Not mearly as much as there used to be due to the bands new support for soriety. Let’s look at the statistics. At the Watkins Glen NASCAR track, Phish held a festival July 4th weekend 2011. An est. 60k attended. Only 34 arrests. NASCAR brings in well over 60k and has over 200+ arrests and violence galore. Because of alcohol. DUIs, etc. There is little to no violence at a Phish show. Other concerts are riddled with alcohol consumption, prompting violence and more. At a Phish show, the majority substance of choice is pot. Pot makes you somewhat mellow and relaxed. I have smoked pot many times and I would honestly rather have my kids drive while on pot than drunk if I was forced to decide. It is a plant that is demonized by old established propaganda. God would not make a plant if it was not in his plan.
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6:49 am
Hmm, do you think it’s interesting?
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9:02 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3nY5VFfPF4
yes . this is great
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11:26 pm
Wow that has to be the most judgmental irrational unjustified article I have ever read. I don’t do drugs, rarely have a glass of wine in fact. I have taught Sunday school for years, went to grad school, have a great job, and guess what, I LOVE PHISH! I have even taken my own kids to shows with me. As for the individuals who dedicate their lives to following Phish and have a tendency to use drugs. The ones that I have gotten to know are some of the neatest people I have ever met. You need to get your facts straight!
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11:42 pm
THE
NINE
SATANIC
STATEMENTS
1. Satan represents indulgence, instead of abstinence!
2. Satan represents vital existence, instead of spiritual pipe dreams!
3. Satan represents undefiled wisdom, instead of hypocritical self-deceit!
4. Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it, instead of love wasted on ingrates!
5. Satan represents vengeance, instead of turning the other cheek!
6. Satan represents responsibility to the responsible, instead of concern for psychic vampires!
7. Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than
those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his “divine spiritual and intellectual
development”, has become the most vicious animal of all!
8. Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional
gratification!
9. Satan has been the best friend the church has ever had, as he has kept it in business all
these years!
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3:11 pm
Stephenson,
While I understand the point you articulate in your article, nearly 100% of everything you say is fabricated. I even would go as far as to say that this whole article was written on whim and hearsay. The group is called “Phish” (you would have known it is not “The Phish” if you did thirty seconds of research), so you automatically have shown any readers that your knowledge on the subject is miniscule. People use drugs at concerts. Get over it. It happens. But the reason Phish attracts such a huge following of drug users is simply because they have a HUGE following. They are an unbelievably talented band that shows musical prowess UNLIKE anyone today (especially not Britney Spears or Gwen Stefani or Josh Groban). People use drugs while listening to good music. It happens. Get over it. Also, if you were to do maybe two minutes of research, you would have learned that there is a large number of people that attend Phish shows SOBER. Unbelievable, right? Your article lacks much factual evidence and it is clear that nothing you said involved any knowledge of that band.
By the way, “Marijuana” and “Christmas Without Weed” are both attributed to Phish incorrectly. Another item that would have taken such little time to learn.
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3:31 pm
Phish owns a charity that donates a percentage of whatever they profit from a concert to local nonprofit organizations. You are a severely narrow-minded man, Mr. Billings
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6:01 pm
I once overheard a couple of granola eating carpet munchers ululating about their planned participation in some hedonistic sounding practices at an upcoming “The Phish” concert to be held somewhere in Eastern Canada.
As a law abiding and God fearing Western Canadian grown-up, I shall commit to doing everything in my power to prevent these overeducated filth-mongering hippie magnets from ever defiling my home province of Alberta with their pathetic and hitless concert set-lists.
Now there’s a brand new song idea for Trey: “Hitless Setlist”. He can mumble it repetitively while wanking off his guitar’s fretboard to the pointless crashing of Mike Gordon’s drumset.
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