African Dictator Passes No Fanny Flatulence Law
African Mulawi dictator passes bizarre anti-flatulence law, stating that anyone who unleashes backward nose offenses in the country can be tried as a criminal.
An African country has passed laws that allow those “who foul the air” to be tried as felons.
In a new edict from African Dictator Bingu wa Mutharika, it is now illegal for a person to pass offensive intestinal winds within the country of Malawi.
It is common knowledge that African dictators are often eccentric, but this new law has set the citizens of the African nation into a frenzy.
Census polling data of the nation reveals people with jobs and who live in actual cities eat a typical diet of fried, salty foods. The eating habits of Malawi result in a higher incidence of passed winds, which apparently upset wa Matharika.
Any citizen who now does musty rumbling can be tried as a criminal. All criminals in Malawi are subject to the death penalty, should the ruling counsilship of their township or village deem it necessary.
When questioned by human rights groups, Mutharika angrily growled it would make his citizens ‘moulded to have discipline’.
Is this tough love attempt really enough to make the nation of Malawi responsible, or is it just a power play to make bogus criminal charges against political enemies.
As report by The Daily Mail, concerns are arisen because anyone can be reported as a windbreaker.
Children may pass zestfully zoo-scented zephyrs within proxy to elders, then blame them for the crime. Then, what of women?
There is a huge problem in Malawi with police ‘searching’ the women in inappropriate way, much like Kenyan Obama has implemented in the USA via the TSA profiling of all Americans.
With this law, women who are gassy will be forced into police interrogations and may be forced to do many terrible things.
When approving this edict, corrupted authorities may have taken into account that women have a tough time holding their gas. Within the female anatomy, there is a separating flap to keep pure the babymaking part of their birthing center from the intestinal/urinal waste orifice.
When much gas is passed after eating too many lentils or perhaps greasy foods, the flap can become inflamed and cause inability to hold back gas until more appropriate times.
Women can be profiled and taken by authorities, when leaving a chicken or spicy food restaurant.
These dangers have put the Malawi authority under international scrutiny, but today the laws are already in effect.
This law, along with two others passed that allow any person to be accused of ‘fortune-telling’ and husbands to ‘be tried if their wives do inappropriate things’ show inability of Malawi to self rule. America needs to oversee the nation and its resources.
We see that even when we free the slave nations, they just build new systems of oppression.
New geological surveys of the region show expanded regions of interest for potential oil revenue, with a 96.4% confidence in oil fields within 3 outlying regions of current oil production capital centers for sweet light and corn crude variants.
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Author: Dan Nordgren
Born and raised in upstate New York, Dan Nordgren is currently a film student who enjoys martial arts, mountain climbing and football as components of his very active life. Join Team Sarah TODAY
9:40 pm
Dan
As a missionary in Malawi, I witnessed the birth of a “African Tea Party” Nation as the new Constitution was put in place in 1995. I was so happy for the people in “the warm heart of Africa” as they put a voting republic together in the same way we members of the Tea Party would like to see our country return to these basic freedoms.
While the people of Malawi are beset with Aids, high infant mortality rates, conviction and imprisonment of homosexuals, politically motivated arrests, lengthy pretrial detentions, and arbitrary arrests and detentions – this is a Tea Party Christian nation that isn’t afraid to roll up it’s sleeves and make the nation a little better for their neighbor. Even if it something as simple as respecting the air your neighbor breathes.
I know you are very active in the Palin campaign. I think we should put together a care package of t-shirts and “You Betcha’” buttons as a big hug for the Malawi people. We can discuss at the next meeting.
Thanks for making this available to the CHristWire readers.
Praise be,
BB
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1:08 am
“Blood sin and desecration of the race are the original sin in this world and the end of a humanity which surrenders to”
Good report brother the Africans are beautiful pawns. Soon after the zionist-marxist-antichrist-commie entity known as Israel is eliminated we will celebrate with the sacrificing of 500 million Africans. Soon I errr I mean Christ will return with the greatest army of pure bred angels. Continue the fight world wide fascism now, tomorrow and forever and god bless you.
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10:27 pm
Thank you. This internets webs site is now the number two most popular site in my country amongst people who cannot afford to own a computer with modem. While a senator and before the unpleasantness, I too proposed legislation like this. The proposed legislation would impose a fine for the infraction. This had the dual intention of cleaning our air and increasing the treasure to fight of the Muslim rebels. Unfortunately my legislation never made it out of committee.
Hon. H Mwabwetumba.
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12:22 am
The only reason Christwire is now the number two site is because you had our MPGIO freedom webs taken down. Now we must turn to wikipedialeaks to update all our cells as to your location. You will pay for your internets crimes you heathen.
Félix Doh
Mouvement populaire ivoirien du Grand Ouest MPIGO
Praise Allah.
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3:06 am
Your wikepedialeaks and your Facebooks internets sites will be shut down in March. You will never catch us. Your dreams of an independent state will never come to fruition.
Ge3nesis 16:12 He will be a wild donkey of a man, His hand will be against everyone, And everyone’s hand will be against him; And he will live to the east of all his brothers.”
Hon. H Mwabwetumba.
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7:53 pm
He who smelt it dealt it
Félix Doh
Mouvement populaire ivoirien du Grand Ouest MPIGO
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2:20 am
He looks a bit gassy himself. This is nonsense. Don’t they have poor people to feed? He should be spending his time on more worthwhile things.
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12:31 pm
Not as gassy as you do. You admitted to having nights chock full of “pizza and grape soda”.
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3:09 pm
by what I should start the article or Blanche comment
ah I will start by blanche comment
as they put a voting republic together in the same way we members of the Tea Party would like to see our country return to these basic freedoms.
what freedom you are talking about here miss Blanche is it about Only christian can live in USA so the asian arab muslim black mexican and other ethnicity can’t live in USA ?
if it’s what you call “fgreedom” I don,t wnat of this and Nobody else want of this
what you want is controlling people with your christianity, destroying their private life (no masturbation, No homosexual intercourse) and if they don,t accept your God we must Kill them am I right ?
as for the article itself the President of the Malawi is Not a didactor he got elected democratically and he is also well approved in his own country
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3:14 pm
Huh? This a joke right?
“by what I should start the article”
“didactor”
You should be more careful. Somewhere there is probably a fraternity which is forced to drink every time you butcher the English Language. Their livers are probably ruined because of this last post.
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3:23 pm
Min Li,
Thank you for your insightful and contemplative response. Your study of American English is much improved and I am very proud of you. Solid work there.
As far as your request for a slideshow of travel photos of my missionary work in Malawi, I wouldn’t presume to post these here as they contain photos of a “National Geographic” nature, if you know what I mean. Perhaps you can solicit the board of directors at Christwire to grant an adults only area and petition members for the privilege.
On your second request for a t-shirt and button, you betcha! I will drop them in the mail on my way to get the cat groomed.
Praise be and kind regards,
BB
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6:07 pm
That would be a fate worse than death.
I just love to inhale the pooey gases from a puckering poopie hole. I love to place my face between my daddies butt cheeks and inhale the delicious gasses like a bong hit!
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4:00 am
In the perverted language of England, UK, where they can’t speak American properly, ‘fanny’ flatulence refers to queefing. Some trollops, harlots and slatterns will perform the grotesque act for a just few pennies, but ladies never do (unless it slips out). Neither queefing nor bottom burps are yet illegal in the UK: the godless communists of Britain have much to learn from the good Christian folk of Malawi.
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