• African Dictator Passes No Fanny Flatulence Law

    February 2, 2011 9:04 pm 13 comments
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  • African Mulawi dictator passes bizarre anti-flatulence law, stating that anyone who unleashes backward nose offenses in the country can be tried as a criminal.

    An African country has passed laws that allow those “who foul the air” to be tried as felons.

    In a new edict from African Dictator Bingu wa Mutharika, it is now illegal for a person to pass offensive intestinal winds within the country of Malawi.

    It is common knowledge that African dictators are often eccentric, but this new law has set the citizens of the African nation into a frenzy.

    Census polling data of the nation reveals people with jobs and who live in actual cities eat a typical diet of fried, salty foods. The eating habits of Malawi result in a higher incidence of passed winds, which apparently upset wa Matharika.

    Any citizen who now does musty rumbling can be tried as a criminal. All criminals in Malawi are subject to the death penalty, should the ruling counsilship of their township or village deem it necessary.

    When questioned by human rights groups, Mutharika angrily growled it would make his citizens ‘moulded to have discipline’.

    Is this tough love attempt really enough to make the nation of Malawi responsible, or is it just a power play to make bogus criminal charges against political enemies.

    As report by The Daily Mail, concerns are arisen because anyone can be reported as a windbreaker.

    Children may pass zestfully zoo-scented zephyrs within proxy to elders, then blame them for the crime. Then, what of women?

    There is a huge problem in Malawi with police ‘searching’ the women in inappropriate way, much like Kenyan Obama has implemented in the USA via the TSA profiling of all Americans.

    With this law, women who are gassy will be forced into police interrogations and may be forced to do many terrible things.

    When approving this edict, corrupted authorities may have taken into account that women have a tough time holding their gas. Within the female anatomy, there is a separating flap to keep pure the babymaking part of their birthing center from the intestinal/urinal waste orifice.

    When much gas is passed after eating too many lentils or perhaps greasy foods, the flap can become inflamed and cause inability to hold back gas until more appropriate times.

    Women can be profiled and taken by authorities, when leaving a chicken or spicy food restaurant.

    These dangers have put the Malawi authority under international scrutiny, but today the laws are already in effect.

    This law, along with two others passed that allow any person to be accused of ‘fortune-telling’ and husbands to ‘be tried if their wives do inappropriate things’ show inability of Malawi to self rule. America needs to oversee the nation and its resources.

    We see that even when we free the slave nations, they just build new systems of oppression.

    New geological surveys of the region show expanded regions of interest for potential oil revenue, with a 96.4% confidence in oil fields within 3 outlying regions of current oil production capital centers for sweet light and corn crude variants.

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    About The Author
    Dan Nordgren Born and raised in upstate New York, Dan Nordgren is currently a film student who enjoys martial arts, mountain climbing and football as components of his very active life. Join Team Sarah TODAY

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