Atheism: A Cause For Concern
A new trend is rising here in our little world, my friends. A group of so called “intellectuals” are challenging our great and powerful lord, Jesus Christ. These people call themselves “Atheists,” and they aim to ruin our Sundays. No more will we be able to enjoy waking up early on Sunday, getting dressed in our best clothing we bought from Wal-mart near the frozen chicken, and sit in a large room with no A/C hearing our preachers tell us where we will go when we die. How dare them!
I was confronted by one of these sinners Saturday morning when I was going door to door spreading the glorious word of God. He kept going on about how he was busy and that I was inconveniencing him. Don’t you think it was an inconvenience to Jesus Christ when they nailed him to the cross to die for our sins?
Instead of abiding by the life lessons of the Bible, these heathens listen to such maniacs like Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens. I had to look those people up because I don’t read such blasphemy.
What if this Atheism trend spreads? What will we do in a Godless world? I know what we will do, and it won’t be pretty. It will be directly out of the book of Revelations:
“And the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them: and they were judged every man according to their works.”
Revelation, 20. 13
These blasphemers will lead to all of us paying for their sins. I fear there may be too many species of animals to put on a new Ark to save from God’s wrath. Do Atheists hate animals too? Who knows what purpose these people serve on God’s Earth? They hate God, they hate animals, they hate church, and they most likely hate our military.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Michael Travis Williams
Michael, Or Mickey, was born below his means, but due to his bafflingly good looks and absurd talent became your favorite person.
8:56 pm
Richard Dawkins is a militant atheist. It is a new move of atheism that is no different than fundamentalism.
I remember a few months ago when there was a prayer campaign against this shmuck and God shut the site down just a few minutes after the national prayer day.
http://christwire.org/2010/02/christian-prayer-forces-atheist-richard-dawkins-to-close-richarddawkins-net-forums/
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9:04 pm
He truly is an enemy to God and a militant indeed.
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1:14 am
Yep. RD is a good guy.
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7:29 am
it’s also no difrent from christianity but we are gonna ignore that for now right?
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9:12 am
Wow…hard to believe that there are people out there like you in this day in age. Sounds to me like you need to get on some serious anti-anxiety medication and/or get some psychological help. I won’t pray for you, but I will call the authorities if you find your way to my house on Sunday morning.
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1:51 am
This is America, Margaret. This is how the heartland works and lives and plays. You are the one who is sorely out of touch.
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5:40 pm
Praise be, Stephenson! The heartland cannot be mocked!
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9:16 pm
Education leads to no good ends. My niece is attending some women’s University out in Virginia. Over the Christmas break she was preparing a 64 page cartoon book on “History of Earth”, or some such nonsense, to teach little, innocent children all about communism and how to not believe in God.
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12:13 pm
Oh, yes, damn that education. It’s brought us nothing but heartache. We really don’t need medicine, engineering, technology, manufacturing and the like. In fact, why don’t you disconnect yourself from the Internet, quit taking pills, throw out all of your clothes and go live in a cave. You can be closer to god that way you know…
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11:27 am
Did you just insult education? Education is what allows you to read your beloved Bible. Education is what allows us to expand our knowledge of the world around us and has allowed us to do things that just 100 years ago would have been unimaginable. Education has allowed us to fly, to go to the moon, and to save thousands of lives. Education gave us the internet so you can share your beliefs with others. How is education evil?
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11:13 pm
You’re funny.
The only problem is you sound just a little too close to someone who actually believes this stuff. Unfortunately, the real idiots can’t tell.
I think you’re funny, though. I mean, hey, you only have one REAL life. Might as well spend it taunting people.
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11:29 pm
Do you realise that your website promotes soley gay dating and meeting gay men in the google Ads? Surely not a persuasion writers of this website wish to promote…
How much money have you made from these Ads? Ha! you can thank the gay community (or the closeted chirstian community) later.
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11:36 pm
Are there solely gay ads, or do you just tend to gravitate towards them?
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5:03 am
We’re a dot org nonprofit. We don’t make money from these things. It just pays for our internet.
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12:16 pm
Typical Christian. Take money and talk out of one side of your mouth while you give money and say something out of the other side.
Good show of honesty and sincerity. Shows you’re really grounded in your beliefs.
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1:28 am
Take money? We’re not pilfering the donation box, if that’s what you’re suggesting. You just want to find any opportunity to attack Christians, don’t you fake Adam? Well, you’re out on a limb on this one my friend.
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11:14 am
Wow, deliberately obtuse.
Where did I say anything about a donation box? We were talking about ad space, which is something the site is making a buck off of because it’s sold space, no?
The site takes money from gay/lesbian sites/services (talking out of one side of their mouth) while you and other contributors bash and slam gay/lesbian people (talking out of the other side).
Is that simple enough for you to understand? Do I need to draw you a picture now?
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7:03 pm
You really are out of touch with the way a website works. I’m sorry about that.
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1:25 am
This isn’t satire. Satire should be even more far-out than the thing it’s satirizing, to highlight its ridiculousness. This is just copying what religious fundamentalists say. I’d get a bigger laugh reading Answers in Genesis.
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1:32 am
Michael, wonderful piece!
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1:38 am
Just trying to spread the word of God. He did most of the work here!
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2:00 am
Education: truly a scourge to the world. Why, you might even teach women that they can do things OTHER than procreate, raise children (who, of course, don’t belong to her, but to whoever fathered them), and tend to her husband! What horrors!
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2:14 am
I see you’re coming around. The prayer circle is working for you.
Take care, little sister.
Kind regards,
BB
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2:35 am
so to resume you said education is evil and we should not educate ourselve about Science because it’s a blasphemy to the God ?
even if they have irrefutable source and facts
Your God would not tell you water has Oxygen in it, will he ?
you said we doN,t comes from ape or Monkey but we have many feature related to them our feet our hand and even our hair and our pelosity ( for men and sometimes women) of course we don’t have a Tail ( well technically we have but it’s another story)
you are Pissed off because someone was Busy and closed your door at you for me it’s quite normal keep your religion to yourself if they want to hear it they will go to church
you were also pissed off at student giving SCIENCE fliers at school a place where we can teach oh wait SCIENCE
seriously You are a Real big Joke continue like that I will Laugh my ass off at the bunch of retard you are
also for adam since you talk about fundamentalism you surley know much about it don’t you since you are one
on a final note tell me
Do you want a Theocracy in USA ? abiding by God’s law only and if you don,t respect the authority or god’s law you are executed ?
Also Tell me what we should teach to our student, if we can’t teach them science to devleop new technology or new medicine?
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3:25 am
The bible seems to be a book written by insane primitive men. It is so disgusting that no one should use it as a guide for life. E.G.: Deuteronomy 21:18-21 Disobedient children to be stoned to death. Or how about this one:
• Exodus 21:7
If in need of a little extra income, a father could simply sell his daughter. And of course a female slave is worse off than a male slave; a male slave is automatically freed after 6 years; the woman is never freed.
Lovely stuff and there’s so much more. You can have it.
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5:07 am
I see love and eternal truths my friend. Please don’t be so close-minded.
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us.” –1 John 4:18-19.
“But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.” –Luke 6:35.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.” –1 Corinthians 13:4-8.
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5:11 am
That doesn’t excuse the complete lack of respect towards people in general, there’s still quite a bit of hate and contradictions in the Bible. If all life is considered precious, then why should we stone our children or our wives for being unruly? If God gave us all the animals to eat and consume for nutrition, why can we not touch shellfish? If God gave us the land for plowing, why can we not change the seeds in dire times? If God made all men free, then why can I buy a slave for some silver? If we are all created equal, then why does the Bible say that men are superior and have control over their wife?
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8:29 am
Heh. You really are quite the comedian, aren’t you….
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11:41 am
Nowhere does it explicitly state men are superior. Men should lead the household though, because women are fickle and naive. If Adam had kept Eve in her place, there would not even be sin. All women are no better than their origin and that is why man has to lead. Not because man is superior, but because he’s better equipped to turn down temptation and lead a family on a moral path. This is why we see so much crimes from blacks; they don’t have very many fathers in their homes.
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11:55 am
Adam “I’m not sexist, I just think that women are fickle and naive and thus unfit to lead anything” Nelson.
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2:54 pm
So what you’re saying is the reason we have sin is because Adam didn’t do his job, not that Eve messed up.
Well, that’s good. At least you’re finally placing the responsibility on him instead of her.
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1:31 am
I’d be the first person to admit that woman do have their strengths. I certainly wouldn’t want to be raised by a Daddy (or two!). Who else can nurture and love us? Who keeps our homes and wipes the jelly from a young boy’s face but a mother? There is something beautiful in her power, and righteous as well. God bless our mothers and God bless the women out there. We love you!
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1:42 am
So, men are completely incapable of pretty much everything? Good to know.
Also, if you wouldn’t want to be raised by a man (or two), then I take it a child would be best raised by two mothers. Since, according to you, they take care of children best.
I’ll keep that in mind.
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1:43 am
The love of two women can be a glorious thing, as long as they are both hot.
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1:46 am
@Adam
I can call water “Dihydrogen monoxide” all the damn time, but I still mean water. Just because you don’t explicit say something doesn’t mean you don’t mean it. If I called someone a mentally challenged person, I didn’t call them ‘retarded’, but I meant it. Men lead the woman, woman came from the rib of man, man can beat his wife but the wife can not beat the man, so on and so forth. It doesn’t EXACTLY say men are superior, true, but fuck all if that isn’t what it means.
//I’d be the first person to admit that woman do have their strengths. I certainly wouldn’t want to be raised by a Daddy (or two!). Who else can nurture and love us? Who keeps our homes and wipes the jelly from a young boy’s face but a mother? There is something beautiful in her power, and righteous as well. God bless our mothers and God bless the women out there. We love you!//
“Women have their strengths”? The fuck is that supposed to mean? Women can do the same damn things that men can, neither gender is better. A father can be just as tender as a mother, it’s just that society views men with visible emotions as weak rather than human.
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1:49 am
“Women can do the same damn things that men can, neither gender is better.”
How many women are playing in the super bowl this weekend?
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1:52 am
Most of us women don’t go out for football, particularly professional football. We prefer rugby, anyway.
What’s the Super Bowl got to do with this, though? Abso-fucking-lutely nothing.
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1:54 am
I was simply saying that we can’t disregard the domestic strengths of women. I don’t want to get drawn into that petty argument of who is better or worse. Every individual is different and the sexes both have their strengths and weaknesses.
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1:57 am
Ok, how come we allow the best peoples to play in league sports regardless of gender, but men aren’t allowed to play in women’s leagues? I’m not familiar with “rugby” But women can play in the NBA if they are good enough, but men can’t play in the WNBA. Women can play in pro golf PGA, but men cannot play in the LPGA. Women can play in pro football, but I tried out for the lingerie football league but was tuned way at the gate.
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2:04 am
//I was simply saying that we can’t disregard the domestic strengths of women. I don’t want to get drawn into that petty argument of who is better or worse. Every individual is different and the sexes both have their strengths and weaknesses.//
If you’re going to say something like that, then say it the first damn time, otherwise no one will believe you. How do I know that you aren’t just saying that to cover your ass? Because hell, I know you’re just saying it NOW to cover your ass, seeing as how you didn’t take the time to explain before hand. Not only that, but since every individual is different, doesn’t that completely negate the whole ‘sexes have their strengths and weaknesses’ since, ya know, there exist plenty of men and women who subvert the norms of what men and women should be like? Again, it’s what SOCIETY has said about men and women, and considering how society is wrong more often than it’s right, then why the hell should there be any ideas of what a man or woman should or shouldn’t do?
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2:05 am
Because a requirement to play in the women’s leagues is that you must be a female.
Stevie, the only strengths you admit that women have are in domestic tasks? No wonder you’re still single. I have a male friend who cooks far better than I do, and we joke about which of us is more of a girl, but that’s all. Women and men are both equally talented in terms of skills. The end.
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2:18 am
If there was a rule that only men could play in a league that would be sexist though.
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5:33 am
Pull the plug on their internet, computers, electricity, refrigeration, medicine, etc. and let their fictional deity hook them up. I am tired of people who use science to enrich their lives and then, like unappreciatiive spoiled children, deny it—let them go back to their religious leaders for their modern amenities.
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7:34 am
i think that at least some of that sound like agreat idea. make everyone declare their belif and if you declare yourself christian no hospital for you buddy. any kind of acident or illness will either be cured by the lord or you died because god wanted it. then all us non-belivers can enjoy all that horrible medicine and other knowledge that can save our lives.
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11:39 am
I still can’t tell whether or not this tripe is a joke or not.
So the author sees no problem “when I was going door to door spreading the glorious word of God” yet said that some students “had the audacity to hand one (student club fliers) to me.” So only Christians should be able to tell others what they believe? Get over yourself already. It sure sounds like your god is weak and pathetic if his followers get all riled up over a few “so called[sic] ‘intellectuals.’
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8:00 pm
I once met an atheist, was pretty scary stuff. Ranting and raving about Darkins and Dawwin, all pretty scary stuff. Blah blah fossil record, blah blah dna, blah blah blah carbon dating. All I know is my mom didn’t fuck no monkey. Anyways, then some Cocksucker with a bible claiming to be a Mormon started hooting and hollaring about Goldline and food storage, totally wack shit, never seen anything like it.
I put my tinfoil hat on and prayed to baby jesus…I’m still here, so I guess we know whose right. Stupid history maker upers.
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4:16 am
Your mom didn’t fuck no monkey but she fucked a primate.
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5:07 pm
if that was true, I’d be black.
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7:08 pm
Comedian, just stop it. Your little tiresome crusade to draw attention to yourself is pathetic. Do you really need validation this badly? Yes, you type a lot and yes you have a lot of opinions. But I have to be honest with you, you’re mundane and only moderately intelligent. There’s nothing inspiring about your brain. Your anger is probably the most recognizable trait about you. Otherwise, you’re an empty gas bag of ridiculous tricks and failure. I wanted to help you, hey everyone here wants to help you, but you’re just closed down. it’s as if you’re addicted to anger, it gives you an excuse to be extreme and to explain why you have no friends. But this isn’t any way to live. You have to grow up some day and be a mature person. Accept that life has hardships and try to work every day to make this planet a better place. Why not fall in love or wear a smile to work? There is hope out there and many of us enjoy life. You are the one who needs to lighten up and let the sun shine on your face.
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7:14 pm
“I wanted to help you, hey everyone here wants to help you”
Comedian does not need help. He is perfectly fine the way he is.
“it gives you an excuse to be extreme and to explain why you have no friends.”
Comedian has friends. The same cannot be said about you. If you had friends, you wouldn’t have to pretend that the person who hates your guts more than anybody else in the world (me) is your friend.
“Why not fall in love or wear a smile to work?”
Says the 53 year old who’s never had a girlfriend…
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7:19 pm
COMEDIAN IS NOT FINE.
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7:24 pm
Comedian is very fine. You’re the psychotic one.
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3:26 am
What Claire said, I’m completely fine. In fact, I just had quite a hearty laugh not too long ago. You’re the one who’s got issues, especially if you think that Dan Brown is trying to spread lies or something, which would imply that you think he’s being real and trying to tell a real story instead of a nifty piece of fiction.
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3:24 am
//Comedian, just stop it. Your little tiresome crusade to draw attention to yourself is pathetic.//
Aren’t you the one who put up a blog post asking if your husband is gay, and so on? In fact, in the most views portion on the bottom, don’t you have three of your blog posts featured, and for the most commented, having all but second place? Who’s the one trying to draw attention to their self now?
//But I have to be honest with you, you’re mundane and only moderately intelligent.//
Moderately intelligent? Again, you can’t tell the difference between fantasy and reality, and what’s satire and what’s not. You’re nothing more than a retarded man-child who’s calling other people dumb because they don’t like the picture of the flower you drew with your shit.
//There’s nothing inspiring about your brain.//
At least I have one. A rock has a higher IQ than you.
//Your anger is probably the most recognizable trait about you.//
And your retardation is your most recognizable trait.
//Otherwise, you’re an empty gas bag of ridiculous tricks and failure.//
Failure? Considering how many times I’ve helped cause you to blow a gasket, I must say that I’m fairly successful. That, and having an actual life helps out a helluva lot more. I’d say it helps out ten, hundred, or even thousand fold, but one hundred times zero is still zero.
//I wanted to help you, hey everyone here wants to help you, but you’re just closed down.//
‘closed down’ isn’t a proper phrase for any reason outside of a business’ status, and as far as ‘helping me’ goes, you’re nothing more than a greedy fucker who wants to so desperately sleep at night that you’ll fool yourself into thinking that your hateful lifestyle has some merit and has helped people out.
//it’s as if you’re addicted to anger, it gives you an excuse to be extreme and to explain why you have no friends.//
This coming from a shut-in who makes up friends? This coming from the guy who admitted that he knows nothing about me? This coming from the jackass who jacks off into the mouths of little boys he’s kidnapped just for some relief? Riiiiiiight, you TOTALLY have a point. I have NO friends, even though I just had a party where at least half a dozen people showed up and that was pretty much a third of people who were invited, I have NO social life whatsoever. You’ve got me pegged oh-so-well, I don’t think I could POSSIBLY prove you wrong, what with me having spent an entire day with company who willingly came over just to spend time with me.
//But this isn’t any way to live. You have to grow up some day and be a mature person.//
Ya know, you’ve got the mindset of a god damn 8 year old, you telling people to ‘grow up’ and ‘mature’ is nothing short of hypocrisy since you’ll yell at people who don’t agree with you, nor can you stand society as a whole or even in part, and will call ANYTHING done by Christians a ‘good thing’, and completely overlook all of the horrors caused by them, and lie when presented with that information at point blank.
//Accept that life has hardships and try to work every day to make this planet a better place.//
Again, you refuse to accept the fact that people are different and that their opinions and thoughts matter too in making this planet a better place. Not only that, but considering how your ideas for making this planet better involve global domination and the destruction of free will and thought and the annihilation of choice, as well as wiping out all other religions or religious lines of thinking and forcing people to become Christian or else, you’re not exactly one to be talking about making this planet better.
//Why not fall in love or wear a smile to work?//
Again, I’ve stated that I’m in a stable and loving relationship AND I smile every god damn day. I accept the hardships, I accept the pain, and I get past it, and look forward to the next day, knowing that I’ve become stronger this day that just came to pass. You, however, wear an empty smile on your face and lack the ability to love any other human being due to the fact that you can’t accept yourself first. Tell me Stevie, just why aren’t YOU married, just why don’t YOU have kids?
//There is hope out there and many of us enjoy life. You are the one who needs to lighten up and let the sun shine on your face.//
If that’s a metaphor for you to jack off to my face, I’ll pass. Considering the dark world you live in, every other place is nothing more than a bright area. Not only that, but you don’t enjoy life. In fact, you want to take away and destroy what makes life enjoyable and force others into your line of thinking, and force people to submit to a cult that completely destroys free thought, choice, and love. You don’t carry hope, you carry hate, for all of humanity.
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1:02 am
Wait, did no one notice a glaring contradiction here?
“They were going on and on about science and all of this other nonsense like ‘Evolution.”
“I fear there may be too many species of animals to put on a new Ark to save from God’s wrath.”
…correct me if I’m wrong, but this implies that there are more animals today than there were during Noah’s flood. Question: how did they get here?
Maybe I’m off base here, though. I don’t know much about this site, but there’s quite a few articles like this one that are leading me to believe that this site is nothing less than a work of genius. That this whole thing is a giant schtick to make fun of lunatic Christians without them even realizing it! This place is just too hilarious to be real.
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9:35 pm
Guys, christwire is satire. Did you not notice the phrases “getting dressed in our best clothing we bought from Wal-mart near the frozen chicken” and “sit in a large room with no A/C hearing our preachers tell us where we will go when we die”? Do not get worked up over this article; it is indeed a joke.
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1:00 am
“we must pray to the Almighty not to refuse His blessing to this change and not to abandon our people in the times to come”. Atheism is a Zionist conspiracy funded by the Illuminati. Stand strong brothers his second coming is near. The evil will be destroyed in his glory.
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5:57 am
i hope you all realize that this site is a Poe site
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7:03 am
You kids and your street jive.
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2:33 am
how can any body be so ignorant………… people like you make me hate this fucking humanity
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