Fellacio: Is It Really Like Flowers for Men?
Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. For American Christian women this is a blessed day to review the Song of Solomon, iron that Catholic Schoolgirl outfit and plan a day of romance. While beyond the understanding of Atheist (see “Are Atheist Capable of Love: No. Happy Valentine’s Day“), Christians have celebrated this most holy holiday for over 1,500 years – that is nearly 25% of the entire time the earth has been in existence! Praise be, indeed.
Unlike the vulgar mouth sex which is an affront to God’s creation, a source of Homo-Gay relations, empty Atheist recruiting tool, and precursor to bestiality; fellacio is a loving expression of kindness, friendship and comfort from a Christian woman to a Christian man.
1Co 7: 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Fellacio is similar to a lovely tiramisu. Smooth and delicious on the tongue; a little sweet and salty; and both have Italian sounding names. Many find that combining fellacio with shaved ice and perhaps humming a Dean Martin tune to really extend the Italian theme is a fun way to bring happiness and contentment to Christian man. Within the scriptures, fellacio is specifically identified as Godly for faithful women.
Son 2:3 As an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men. With great delight I sat in his shadow, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
Son 4:16 Awake, O north wind, and come, O south wind! Blow upon my garden, let its spices flow. Let my beloved come to his garden, and eat its choicest fruits.
Vulgar mouth sex used in homo-gay relations is wrong for many reasons, one being the defilement of the face to face expression of God’s intended position for conception. For Christian women this means keeping eye contact while humming a chorus of The Battle Hymn of the Republic. Another top ten requested accouterment is the Catholic Schoolgirl uniform, which is fetching with pony tails. In addition to keeping a nice theme, it also keeps hair out of the eyes for good non-verbal expression and out of the action as it is expressed.
In conclusion, the thrill for Christian women in receiving a big bouquet of flowers from one’s paramour in a Christian one man, one woman relationship is equitable to fellacio for Christian men.
Blanche Beecham is spending the holiday with her extremely lucky paramour with comfort and kindness. – I love you, Tiger.
http://www.askthebible.com/oral-sex.htm
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Author: tdomf_15f10
6:04 pm
BB, once again a timely and scripture based article. While a difficult subject for some people to talk about you were able to focus on the love and make this very godly and classy. I am looking forward to pushing the beds together and celebrating this Christian ritual. Also I appreciate that you used this time to focus on the love of this holiday rite instead of its evil opposite unholy Cunnilingus.
Thanks, too bad I can’t praise click an article, so I will just pretend. “Click”
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6:13 pm
I must apologize to the readers of ChristWire. This was supposed to be a recipe for a low fat frozen dessert called fellacio. My paramour requested it for Valentine’s Day. I think someone hacked my account and put these disgusting pictures in. I’ve been having difficulties with the email and I really don’t know much about this hmtl gobble-dee-jabber, so I asked the kid next door to help.
I am so ashamed. I hope the ChristWire board doesn’t ban me.
I can’t bring myself to praise click.
BB
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6:31 pm
BB, we would NEVER ban you. If you need us to remove those images let us know. We can have the Christwire techs fix this right up.
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8:40 pm
You are so kind, but think you have your hands full with the broken tweeter meme and trying to herd those two alley cats. Few people will read it anyway, so I won’t worry too much.
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1:49 pm
The pics are HOT!!! Thanks
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6:12 pm
….
Yeah, you’re definitely a troll.
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9:44 am
Oh, RD. There is no need to make ugly comments. It is obvious you are stalking Claire and see me as a threat or at minimum want to show Ms. Clair-long-armpit-hair how brave you are. You’re like a little rooster crowin’ and struttin’ around the barnyard – protecting your little hen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7d8Cpmd-Iw
Look how cute!
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12:22 pm
Hey sweetie pie, it’s me, your husband. I would appreciate it if you could change the sheets once you’re done with your little blog. I’m sure you’re aware that when you got home from the bar in the middle of the night you leaked about a gallon of semen from your vagina and anus. I just don’t think I should have to be the one to clean that stuff up. I know that we have an “open marriage” and all that, but you should really take responsibility and drain yourself in the toilet bowl before you get into bed.
Love ya hun,
Norm
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12:49 pm
This was just mean. Whoever wrote this is a sick and disgusting individual. BB is a wonderful woman respected internationally for her faith, loyally, humility and Insight.
Unfortunately I have to give this posing my second ever condemn click.
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1:03 pm
This is the humor of children. It isn’t painful or hurtful. It shows only your maturity and complete lack of intellect.
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1:28 pm
So, it’s just like every “article” and comment you’ve ever written.
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2:22 pm
Look Honey, you know I have no problem with our open marriage, but you need to stop denying that the semen staining the sheets leaked out of your body.
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6:29 pm
“Christians have celebrated this most holy holiday for over 1,500 years – that is nearly 25% of the entire time the earth has been in existence! Praise be, indeed.”
Your “source” for your claim that the earth is only 6,000 years old is a link to a Wikipedia article on the Hebrew Calendar? How about something more valid?
“Unlike the vulgar mouth sex which is an affront to God’s creation, a source of Homo-Gay relations, empty Atheist recruiting tool, and precursor to bestiality; fellacio is a loving expression of kindness, friendship and comfort from a Christian woman to a Christian man.”
First of all, a semicolon does not belong there. Second, by “vulgar mouth sex” are you referring to cunnilingus, or are you referring to fellacio?
“Fellacio is similar to a lovely tiramisu. Smooth and delicious on the tongue; a little sweet and salty”
Dude, that’s gross! We don’t need to hear what your customers’ cocks taste like!
“Vulgar mouth sex used in homo-gay relations is wrong for many reasons”
Once again, what are you referring to? You’re praising fellacio one second and then you’re seemingly condemning it the next.
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11:24 am
Blanche wrote: “Unlike the vulgar mouth sex which is an affront to God’s creation…”
To which Claire responded “…a semicolon does not belong there.”
I’m glad that at least you believe that we should leave perversions involving colostomies for another day, and not take up with those freaks like some liberals might.
God is working His ways on you, and you don’t even feel it!
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7:43 pm
Paramour (noun):
1. an illicit lover, especially of a married person.
2. any lover.
So, you’re having sexual intercourse outside of marriage? Interesting.
And you had been discussing oral sex in your article. A search for the word “fellacio” on Bing and Google only turns up results regarding oral sex on a male’s penis. Trying to search for it as a dessert turned up, surprise, the same basic results. No recipes or anything of the like.
Also, I fail to see what’s so “dirty” about oral sex, if you’re discussing how “great” and “delicious” it is between heterosexual couples (or, rather, being enacted upon a male by a female). What’s wrong with homosexuals doing it with each other? And, besides that, I’m certain that the Song of Solomon, which is in the Bible and, in fact, QUOTED in your “article”, is not only about sexual intercourse, but also involves the male pleasuring the woman, and vice versa. I fail to see what is so wrong with any of that.
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8:26 am
I always figured Blanche was a trollop.
And I wonder if she knows BB (which she uses to sign her name) is often used as a referencing to Barebacking, or sex without a condom.
What a filthy whore she is…
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8:28 am
I reckon her STDs have STDs.
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11:18 am
quoted from “Blow by Blow: The Fine Art of Fellacio”
“…the ejac—– contains spe– and a long list of components that read like a vitamin pill label: ascorbic acid (vitamin C), calcium, chlorine, cholesterol, choline, citric acid, creatine, fructose, glutathione, hyaluronidase, inositol, lactic acid, magnesium, nitrogen, phosphorus, potassium, purine, pyrimidine, pyruvic acid, sodium, sorbitol, vitamin B12, and zinc.”
There you have it, all you evolutionists! You’re not so smart after all!
How intricate is God’s plan to reward the subjugating woman with such a smorgasbord of nutrition? Explain that one, will you? As Bill O’Reilly pointed out, “Who put the moon there?”
Praise God!
Instead of just for Valentine’s Day, this is God’s little daily multivitamin for good obedient Christian wives everywhere. Spread the Word!!
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12:18 pm
“Instead of just for Valentine’s Day, this is God’s little daily multivitamin for good obedient Christian wives everywhere. Spread the Word!!”
One, you shouldn’t be using exclamation points like that. It makes you look like a moron.
Second, ANYONE can perform fellatio, not just “good obedient Christian wives”. Unless spermatozoa has a magical property where it only gives those vitamins to that specific, tiny group (which it doesn’t), it isn’t really your god’s “little daily multivitamin” as a reward for “the subjugating women”.
Also, cute little fact: Evolutionists DO know the nutritional content of sperm. You’re the ones who keep saying the Earth is ~6,000 years old.
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9:20 am
“One, you shouldn’t be using exclamation points like that. It makes you look like a moron.”
Oh, I see! Well, why do you begin your sentences with a number? To show everyone you’re smart enough to count?
“Second, ANYONE can perform fellatio…”
In your Godless pit of homosexual sin, perhaps.
“Also, cute little fact: Evolutionists DO know the nutritional content of sperm. You’re the ones who keep saying the Earth is ~6,000 years old.”
I can see with such “logic” you fancy yourself smarter than God. Well, if you don’t mind, I’ll stick with God.
Oh, and about your use of the squiggle character. We all know that it’s the homosexual code for sp—. What you’re missing is that the very flagellum which you mock is yet one more piece of evidence that God *IS* the living Intelligent Designer. So in a very concrete way, and despite your intent, your mockery pays tribute to the God you so detest! Praise the Lord, for His Greatness runs rings around the sinner!
I would lovingly suggest that you seek redemption for your sins before it’s too late. There’s no spitting it out with regret once you’re standing at the Pearly Gates and realize that, your counting skills aside, you weren’t so smart after all. No, friend, you won’t be squiggling your way out of that one.
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4:41 pm
Joe,
Praise click for supporting the word!
Praise be,
BB
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