• Fellacio: Is It Really Like Flowers for Men?

    February 10, 2011 5:24 pm 21 comments

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    Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. For American Christian women this is a blessed day to review the Song of Solomon, iron that Catholic Schoolgirl outfit and plan a day of romance. While beyond the understanding of Atheist (see “Are Atheist Capable of Love: No. Happy Valentine’s Day“), Christians have celebrated this most holy holiday for over 1,500 years – that is nearly 25% of the entire time the earth has been in existence! Praise be, indeed.

    Oh, too bad...

    Unlike the vulgar mouth sex which is an affront to God’s creation, a source of Homo-Gay relations, empty Atheist recruiting tool, and precursor to bestiality; fellacio is a loving expression of kindness, friendship and comfort from a Christian woman to a Christian man.

    No, No, No - Quit Peeking!

    1Co 7: 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

    Fellacio is similar to a lovely tiramisu. Smooth and delicious on the tongue; a little sweet and salty; and both have Italian sounding names. Many find that combining fellacio with shaved ice and perhaps humming a Dean Martin tune to really extend the Italian theme is a fun way to bring happiness and contentment to Christian man. Within the scriptures, fellacio is specifically identified as Godly for faithful women.

    Son 2:3 As an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men. With great delight I sat in his shadow, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.

    Son 4:16 Awake, O north wind, and come, O south wind! Blow upon my garden, let its spices flow. Let my beloved come to his garden, and eat its choicest fruits.

    Vulgar mouth sex used in homo-gay relations is wrong for many reasons, one being the defilement of the face to face expression of God’s intended position for conception. For Christian women this means keeping eye contact while humming a chorus of The Battle Hymn of the Republic. Another top ten requested accouterment is the Catholic Schoolgirl uniform, which is fetching with pony tails. In addition to keeping a nice theme, it also keeps hair out of the eyes for good non-verbal expression and out of the action as it is expressed.

    In conclusion, the thrill for Christian women in receiving a big bouquet of flowers from one’s paramour in a Christian one man, one woman relationship is equitable to fellacio for Christian men.

    You've been bad.

    Blanche Beecham is spending the holiday with her extremely lucky paramour with comfort and kindness. – I love you, Tiger.http://www.askthebible.com/oral-sex.htm

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