• Footballer Andy Carroll Outed As Big Softie on Kijiji Canada

    February 6, 2011 12:16 pm 2 comments

    Andy Carroll (pic: Action Images)

    Known as being a British gent of urbane swagger and strong hand for the ladies, new insider reports reveal that like most other soccer players, Carroll is actually a big softie.

    On the day of the Super Bowl, it is important to remind foreign readers that football is the term used for an actual sport where men of the NFL, or lesser affiliated leagues, dress in battle uniforms and bludgeon each other with menacing tackles, all at the behest of war plans drawn out by their coaching staff.

    This contrasts with soccer, a game where men don short-shorts and sashay about the field like an exhausted Freddie Mercury, flamboyant and panting after a concert showing.

    Carroll would like the public to think he is larger than life, swapping spit and slaps with women at a whim and using his $70 million USD a year salary to speed away from cops in an assortment of fancy cars.

    8-year-old lingerie model Laurie Henderson, however, reveals that this big image erected around Carroll and the football world’s badboy is a story of viagra-less Hugh Heffner on a Tuesday night.

    “The Andy Carroll I knew was not like his reputation – he was generous and fun. One day he decided to get a giant bouncy castle put in my back garden for a laugh,” Henderson revealed.

    Thanks for rating this! Now tell the world how you feel through social media. .
    How does this post make you feel?
    • Excited
    • Fascinated
    • Amused
    • Shocked
    • Sad
    • Angry
    About The Author
    Dan Nordgren Born and raised in upstate New York, Dan Nordgren is currently a film student who enjoys martial arts, mountain climbing and football as components of his very active life. Join Team Sarah TODAY

    Facebook Conversations