We were so focused on the little ferret boy Bieber dressing like a black and boomshakaling the rear ends of our daughters after his concerts, we overlooked the more important aspect of this child. Lesbianism.
Sure, it looked like Bieber always had a lesbian’s hair.
It shook with the sassily defiant anger of a raging Rosie O’Donnell rhino, then would enter the pianissimo kitty meow purrs of playful Ellen Degeneres — the softer, gentler face of dabbledown homosexuality.
Then last night, shock and awe. On a very non-funny show Jimmy Kimmel, the host forced a SNLesque odd joke. “Hey Bieber, why don’t you be like Mike and shave your head!” I’m sure in some green room, Will Farrel and Chris Kattan were having monkey moonshine orgies with lemur faced interns, celebrating the joke, but it was really lost on the audience.
Why is it “entertainment” for people to shave their head? Is it funny when our troops go over to Iraq, shave their head and defend freedom? Liberal jester boy John Stewart seemed to think so.
Is it so funny to know there are magic whores like Emma Watson waving her fake phallus and baiting girls with her boyishly handsome looks?
This is not entertainment: it is gender defiance and thumbing the nose at people who cannot grow hair.
Looking deep into all of this, I thought to myself: “Self, why would this little gangbanger shave him’s head?” I thought, “Self, does this boy really want to be like Mike?”
For those not in the know, in the 1980s there was a dribbling boy named Michael Jordan. He lacked the crucial passing prowess of Pistol Pete Marovich or the electrifying thrill ride of watching Bob Cousy drive the lane for a phenomenal layup, but he was decent.
There was a phrasing in the 1980s saying “I want to be like Mike”. It was in the gatorade commercials and similar to the recent “I am Tiger Woods” campaign, before Tiger showed his true jungle nature and cheated on his wife in black adultery.
It is all madness but yet somewhere within, a truth emerges. There is no clever joke with Bieber’s hair, folks. Kimmel, Ferrel and another legion of humor mugged hominids could not make anything original if left banging away at their typewriters for a 1,000 years.
So joking aside, why is Bieber shaving his head? What is this Britnay Spears cry for attention?
Then it hit me. Puberty. Like hearing a whore moan in a Democrat’s oval office, it is not uncommon for a parent to find a hormone laden girl child shave her hair and try to shed off her femininity around the awkward teenage years.
It is not so rare to find this in homes all across America. Troubled, I fell upon my pray warrior knees and asked for a vision. Then, it was right in front of me.
Justin Bieber surrounded by a group of black men, licking their lips and staring upon his bald nest with lust. Eyes sharpened, Satan’s true poker hand was revealed.
The blacks don’t love Justin Bieber because he is helping them recruit girls, they love Justin Bieber because he’s a suburban high school chick. There is nothing that the Motown Maulers love than ravaging the innocent, pure sanctuary of our daughters. If you look around, you will see more and more unwed white girls of proper background with mid chocolate sinchilds.
Bieber is the creme de la creme for these monsters. We wondered why his voice never cracked in the harmonic falsettos of a contralto scale. We speculated that his movements seemed like a wounded gazelle, a teenage girl wearing high heels for the first time to the middle school formal.
Justin Bieber is not a black rapping convert, but rather, a veiled lesbian. Last night, Bieber lifted that veil. He exposed a bald puberence and it was a call out to his mother.
Bieber is lashing out in hormonal rage, trying to get Momma Bieber back. No, not the one in media headlines. But his true mother. I know this is true, in my spiritual gut.
Who is the true mother of Justin Bieber?
Now that Bieber is out of the closet, she’s already slated to win best new female artist of the year at the 2011 Grammy Awards.