Only several months ago, I brought the world urgent news about a tragic discovery. There was a little sashaying minstrel on the hateful program American Idol, singing his little heart out and trying to become Satan’s next big Star.
What was shocking that despite being a fruity pebble, this boy’s performances were never soggy. He called himself Adam Lambert and after much research, I found one truth. Adam Lambert was so talented because he let the master gay Freddie Mercury’s gay ghost specter enter him. It was a demonic blood oath and no telling what will happen to Lambert for making this back pack deal.
When Lambert began falling from the spotlight, it was clear that Freddie Mercury’s spirit left him. No longer did Lambert’s performance glitter the crowds. There was a new boy: Prince Poppycock. Mercury left this child as well, as he could only get second place on America’s Got Talent, losing to a white man who was possessed with a black man’s voice.
Jealous and with a gay’s typically seething envy, Freddie Mercury’s spirit gallivanted all around until it settled on a new fan. A little boy named Steven Gagliata. An Italian transgenic who would become a new hookerwhore of great singing evil.
At this point liberal fans of Gaga will cry and balk, angrily clamoring nasty emails to the holymailbox and demanding I be fired for telling the truth. To all of you little hate mongering Gaga fans I say then explain why Lady Gaga says she is under the influence of Freddie Mercury when she gets splashed with holy confessions water!
The demon speaks and confesses all when confronted by God! Lady Gaga is now calling herself Queen Gaga, because she has let Mercury’s gay scepter penetrate her soul and now she screams out with homo delights.