• Why Most Liberal Women Are Single

    February 27, 2011 9:05 pm 99 comments

    Do you really want to wake up to this every morning?

    A new study came out last week that claims more liberal women in this country are without significant others than their conservative counterparts.   This comes as no surprise to me,  however I know the rest of the world doesn’t share my Reagan-like Godly powers of deduction.   So here are a few reasons why liberal women are undesirables and end up as old spinsters with lots of cats.


    No man wants to end up in a relationship with a beast who doesn’t shave and quotes Sylvia Plath all day long.   Young hipsters in Europe may think its edgy but hard working American men have no interest in such drivel.   Hillary Clinton had to back out of the Presidential race because of her hound-dogging behavior.   Lucky we had Sarah Palin show up to add class back to politics.

    The lack of ability to take care of a family

    Women who want a career end up being bad mothers.   Bad mothers end up having liberal children who commit crimes and disrespect Jesus.   Our society is going to hell because of the previous generation of working mothers who destroyed their children’s lives by never being home to cook dinner or clean the living room.   Just like Kenyan President Barack Obama’s mother.

    Drugs and alcohol

    Most liberal women,  in my experience,  have experimented with drugs.   They go to bars trying to meet foreigners who share their communist views,  so they are also heavy alcoholics.   This doesn’t change if they happen to marry and have kids,  and usually causes divorce and orphans.   No guy enjoys having to hold his girlfriend’s hair while she pukes because she can’t keep her hands off the cheap vodka.

    Lack of education

    Most liberal women haven’t completed high school and have three kids from as many different guys by the time they are 22.   The more educated a woman is,  the more conservative her viewpoints will be.   I’ll bet if you randomly asked a liberal woman where Libya is and why Reagan bombed them in the eighties,  her blank expression would be epic.   They know very little of politics and world events,  hence their left leaning ideas.

    You never find conservative strippers…

    Because decent women would never show their breasts for money.   Only harlots and whores do such things.   And decent fellows don’t advocate such behavior,  unless they are mongers of said whores.   Some women would call it  ‘self expression’. For me,  there is another term that comes to mind:  charlatan.

    You can’t bring them home to your parents

    Because they will likely show their breasts or foolishly mention reading the communist manifesto and thinking it was such an awesome book.   Bringing shame on your family by bringing such a cretin into their household is not only forbidden by the Bible but the privacy laws laid out in the Constitution by our great forefathers.   Your better off bringing home a prostitute.

    Sexual Experiences

    Just as you never find a conservative stripper,  you never find a conservative lesbian.   Liberal goes with gay like peanut butter goes with bananas and chopped off crust:  perfectly.   If you do not heed these words,  don’t be surprised when your newlywed wife confesses to you about her  ‘experimental’  phase in college where she had an orgy with the entire African American football team after their big loss to show a little  ‘team spirit’.

    That is seven points.   By this time you should be convinced and there should be no need to go further.   If you aren’t,  and still considering marrying a liberal woman,  enjoy your life with a whore.

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    About The Author
    Alex Keating Alex K. Keating is a presidential hopeful currently seeking the Republican nomination. His likes include Fox News, Ronald Reagen , and exposing Communism. Fan mail can be sent to AlexKKeating@yahoo.com.

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