The recent surge in marijuana advocacy across the United States has caught many social conservatives off guard. In states like California and Massachusetts, proponents of so-called “medical pot” are opening the door to a much larger push to decriminalize cultivation and personal use across the country. At first this movement appeared to be a grassroots effort, yet as time passes it is becoming increasingly obvious that this is a well-funded and profoundly political campaign. Even more shocking is the strategy now being employed by America’s drug apologists on campuses from coast to coast. By registering students as local voters in an effort to stuff ballot boxes in their favor, they have become highly successful in pushing their alarming schemes through state legislatures. Ultimately, this dope debacle raises important questions about our health, our security and our nation’s most sacred franchise.
At the center of this storm are two men who have long, tortured histories with marijuana. Country music star Willie Nelson and black rapper Snoop Dog have been tireless proponents of drugs in their personal lives. As both transitioned into the national spotlight, they conspired to bring their subversive ideals with them. Today, the two are the most influential activists in this campaign. By recklessly demanding that their fans join them in this redefinition of health and safety laws, they have needlessly tapped into that youthful urge to rebel against authority. Their efforts have paid off. Marijuana possession is now legal in over a dozen states and album sales have made them millions.
Mr. Nelson and Mr. Dog believe in drastically limited moral responsibilities, minimal narcotics enforcement budgets and far less oversight of the domestic pot trade –especially on college campuses. These views dovetail with their musical interests. For Nelson, his woeful honky tonk strummings are meant to touch the hearts of the unemployed, the outcasts and those who have rejected the love of their better-informed communities. They cry for what they lack in their souls and the skanky pot joint fills them up with pungent dreams that some lonely night they may chance upon a painless, empty death. For Dog, rap music is about violence. He seeks to give voice to the angry black man who feels betrayed by a society that has moved out of the ghettoes and into the suburbs. Marijuana fuels this inexplicable hatred, giving one an hallucinogenic stage on which to act out inner-city frustrations with gold-plated weaponry and loud, busty women.
College campuses have become a surprising focus for efforts both musical and political to legitimate dangerous lifestyle choices. In California, students were instrumental in getting Health & Safety Code 11357b passed into law last month, effectively legalizing the deadly narcotic. To contain this crisis, states like New Hampshire are seeking to curtail students’ voting rights. A bill has just been introduced in the legislature in Concord that would require, “that ‘the domicile for voting purposes’ of a college student would be the town or city ‘in which such person had his or her domicile immediately prior to matriculation even though his or her intent to return thereto is uncertain.’” According to one expert, the threat to communities is that university students “are basically doing what I did when I was a kid and foolish, voting as a liberal.”
While precise data detailing the extent to which Willie and Snoop finance marijuana movement has not yet been released, it is clear that they are using their musical millions to underwrite a huge network of foundations, think tanks, and political front groups. Indeed, their supporters have funded opposition campaigns so powerful, that drug laws across the nation are collapsing. While Mr. Dog operates in a secretive world of backroom deals and paid enforcers, Willie Nelson has publicly taken the reigns of the “Teapot Party.” This is a political group with a simple one line mission statement: “Cannabis should be legalized — period.” In tight races from Texas to Kentucky, Nelson has used his indomitable political power to intervene on behalf of pot candidates.
Included in this effort have been several high profile arrests that both men use as platforms to spread their quixotic message. As these angry activists of abuse anarchy use their music to secretly promote an illegal agenda, should there not be greater governmental oversight of their work? At the very least, should they not be regulated under campaign finance laws like any political action committee?
In an investigative article released this past fall, marijuana was identified as one of the most crucial challenges facing young people today. The report showed that pot, “finances the worst sorts of criminal hedonists who prey on children. Once in a young person’s hands, the drug wrecks hopes and dreams. It crushes one’s mental development and makes a person incapable of hard work. Our youth addicts lack the ability to face complex problems and lose all interest in physical exercise. It is a gateway to a life deferred, desperate and alone.” As one health leader described it, smoking a joint is like, “throwing sand in a delicate machine and hoping nothing goes wrong.” Further studies have revealed that other musical acts are now enlisting in the Nelson/Dog fight. These groups profit financially from the widescale intoxication of their audiences, for a “stoned” fan will be far more receptive to low-quality acoustics and the bacchanal of a concert hall.
For young people, there is an undeniable sexual component to marijuana abuse. They lack the maturity to master their raging hormones and supple bodies. Drugs cloud over any sense of morality and responsibility, giving them permission to experiment in the most perverse of ways. Women often fall into regretful intimate encounters. Blinded by that yellow haze of smoke, they permit acts as foul as sodomy just to “score” another dose from a roomful of scheming hipster friends. Heterosexual men will be drawn to the convenience of a buddy’s shoulder. Jostling and jokes inevitably lead to hugs and distressing encounters on musty dormroom cots.
Teens will hide away in bathrooms where lowered dungarees, medicine cabinet moisturizers and mirrors are the perfect excuse to gratify oneself. Yes, masturbation addiction is one of the greatest secrets of the pot smoker. They simply cannot resist letting their soft hands explore every crevasse and peak below the belt, teasing and then probing, chafing and then clenching until that last drip of innocence is released, leaving tacky puddles for shocked mothers to discover in the morning.
In the practice of marijuana usage, Mr. Nelson’s adherents in the group NORML (National Organization for the Repeal of Marijuana Laws) favor elaborate water pipes (popularly known as “bongs”). Bongs fit into the suburban consumerist nature of the upper and middle classes, a fact that these eco-friendly activists would be loath to admit. Deep inside, they delight in spending money on elaborately-decorated new possessions that they can brag about to their comrades in the underground. Gripping a long, glassy device and pressing it to one’s lips reveals the confused sexuality of these types of people. The phallic fallacy betrays their painful need to debase their souls in the rough role-play world of the flamboyant homosexual. Even when one bong hit will suffice, the thrill of holding that firm, slimy shaft is too tempting and they will return again and again for mouthfuls of deliciously frothy kicks while companions eye them nervously, anxious for their own private encounters with these rigid simulacra of manhood, shamefully calling out “My turn!” when the ache becomes too harsh.
Members of Snoop Dog’s fanbase have pioneered the use of brown tobacco paper to roll up “blunts.” They prefer this form of delivery device because it reflects the musky hues of their own skin. For ghetto dwellers, the advantage of the blunt is that it can hold far more drug than the normal white-papered joint. This large size insures a high much more intense than that enjoyed by the addict’s Caucasian peers. It also allows for the generous passing around so common in city parks. This type of smoking is a decidedly aggressive act, quite unlike a white boy’s deep lung bong hits in the parking lot of an abandoned factory. Blunts produce irritating clouds that harass the faces of passerby, dominating stretches of busy sidewalks or entire playground benches. This offensive territorial maneuver echoes the use of boomboxes in the 1970s, when roving bands of afro-haired youths laid claim to urban spaces with loud music and break dancing in an effort to denounce “the man.”
We live in a world of conspiracies. Yesteryear’s hippies attacked William Randolph Hearst’s role in the illegalization of drugs. Today’s liberal activists see the Koch brothers as the only reason the Tea Party is front and center on the national political stage. But when faced with a genuine plot to overthrow our morality, should we not rise up and call out those pulling the strings? Most college students suffer from amnesia once they leave the homefront. They forget their concerned mothers and passionate pastors. They embrace horrendous lifestyle choices and get taken advantage of by unscrupulous and untalented musical acts. Their drug-fueled voting efforts and skanky dorm room encounters ultimately threaten the next generation of our beautiful children. And yes, behind this whole maudlin performance it is Willie Nelson and Snoop Dog pulling our children’s puppet strings, getting them to wave their arms in protest and dance foolish jigs pumped into frenzies of liberalism by grievous marijuana joints. As we survey those violated bodies strewn across the battlefields of the drug war, we must act now to protect the future of this nation. Please do the right thing and tell your children!