You are here: Home » Values & Lifestyle » Christian Morality » 101 Ways To Spot A Communist Liberal

101 Ways To Spot A Communist Liberal

Alex Keating
• ChristWire
March 6, 2011 2:00 pm15 comments

    Obama now campaigning in the frozen north

    1. They like to eat Borscht. They may smell of it.
    2. Evolution textbooks may be hidden on their person or in vehicles they drive.
    3. Said vehicles run on Satan’s electricity.
    4. Along with stealing electricity to blasphemy, they steal more by growing pot.
    5. Which is the way they afford to plaster Satan’s electric drug-mobile with Obama stickers.
    6. Then cut you off in traffic without a wave.
    7. They love blogging.
    8. Their blogs have clever names, like “The Huffington Post”.
    9. Their blogs contain communist themes and liberal bias.
    10. They use their blogs to spread lies about Reagan and Jesus.
    11. They have an American flag in their office they throw darts at.
    12. Sources? They don’t need sources…
    13. They tend to hate Sarah Palin.
    14. They tend to be jealous of Sarah Palin.
    15. They are gays
    16. They spread gay
    17. They gave Magic Johnson the gay
    18. They are Celtics fans.
    19. They are Chinese
    20. They are Asian
    21. They drive Hondas.
    22. They try to race you when you are just trying to drive to work
    23. They think they are black.
    24. They tend not to shave, male and female.
    25. Thereby not buying razors and hurting our economy.
    26. Instead spending money on marijuana and supporting terrorism.
    27. And offending the public with their putrid stoner smells.
    28. And hair poking out of their *ss cracks.
    29. The women have multiple children by multiple men.
    30. They needlessly spend tax dollars trying to hunt down and pinpoint the fathers.
    31. Then spend the Welfare check and child support payments on make-up and shoes.
    32. Or they travel to Kenya and get knocked up by a local goat herder.
    33. And have a son that sneakily becomes president.
    34. They may speak with a foreign accent.
    35. Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn’t count, he idolizes Nixon.
    36. They may very well be here illegally.
    37. They may try to sell you tacos.
    38. They look like they may have just gotten back from some ill gotten work.
    39. They tend to keep Pit Bulls, which are Satan’s lapdogs.
    40. You can see them congregating at flea markets.
    41. And shuffling out good Americans in labor circles by working for less.
    42. Or forming unions.
    43. And destroying Wisconsin.
    44. Proving that Packer fans are dirty communists.
    45. And the Super Bowl was a fix to get Brett Favre to retire.
    46. They don’t believe in Nazis.
    47. They don’t believe America single handedly defeated the Nazis.
    48. They are British.
    49. A large group of them live on the fringes of civilized society and call themselves “Canada”.
    50. They play soccer, unless they are a girl because it is a girl’s sport.
    51. Charlie Sheen.
    52. They listen to rap music.
    53. For free by stealing it on the Internet.
    54. And listen to it at full blast.
    55. Driving around menacing children.
    56. In the suburbs.
    57. Where they grew up and live with their parents.
    58. And reduce my property value, hindering my capitalist right to compete in a free economy.
    59. Muslims. Period. There should be no argument here.
    60. Russians. See above.
    61. White people with dreadlocks. See previous.
    62. You may spot them stealing stuff from your lawn.
    63. You may spot them stealing stuff from your car.
    64. Wearing a T-shirt with Obama on the front and Putin on the back.
    65. They frequent Celtics games.
    66. They often support sports teams that wear red, such as the Chiefs.
    67. Which starts with a ‘C’, just like Chinese and Communist. And Cracked.com.
    68. They frequently smoke marihuana cigarettes.
    69. They brag about being stoned when they voted for Obama.
    70. Which explains a lot.
    71. They believe we shouldn’t have to pay doctors.
    72. They want free health care in case they get shot trying to rob a liquor store.
    73. They support the space program.
    74. Liberals want to colonize Mars.
    75. Even that won’t save them from the rapture.
    76. Bush wanted to colonize the Moon for national defense purposes. They are against it.
    77. You may spot them not going to church.
    78. You may spot them not cheering for Duke.
    79. They frequently eat foreign food, American food is not good enough.
    80. They steal Twitter time from Christwire.
    81. Charlie Sheen rears his ugly head again.
    82. You have to be not only communist but drunk to think Kesha isn’t an ugly beast.
    83. If a picture of Reagan isn’t prominently displayed on your desk, you hate America.
    84. They spend hours playing the Devil’s sport, World of Warcraft.
    85. If women won’t let them fornicate in the real world, they do it in the game.
    86. With each other.
    87. Using their neckbeards as code for “I’m a commie”.
    88. Neckbeards are also code for “I’m a gay”.
    89. And tells other hippies they sell marihuana.
    90. They may be spotted riding bicycles.
    91. Cutting people off in traffic.
    92. Not purchasing fuel from local vendors.
    93. They are vegetarians.
    94. Vegetarian food is often foreign.
    95. They buy it to support Kim Jong IL
    96. They listen to Little Wayne, Justin Bieber, and Lady Gaga.
    97. They use Facebook for sex.
    98. They use Craigslist for gay sex.
    99. They give money to bums holding signs
    100. For gay sex.
    101. And finally, Charlie Sheen.
      Blog Widget by LinkWithin
      Thanks for rating this! Now tell Facebooked friends and Twitter how you feel through social media. .
      (Nah, it's cool; just take me back.)
      How does this post make you feel?
      • Sinful
      • Suspicious
      • Scared
      • Sad
      • Amused
      • Laughing Out Loud
      Tags:
      Alex Keating Author: Alex K. Keating is a presidential hopeful currently seeking the Republican nomination. His likes include Fox News, Ronald Reagen , and exposing Communism. Fan mail can be sent to AlexKKeating@yahoo.com.

      15 Comments

      • I.C. Oliver Bush
        March 6, 2011
        4:24 pm

        “# Which starts with a ‘C’, just like Chinese and Communist. And Cracked.com.”

        And Christwire

        Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 10 Thumb down 2

      • Millennium
        March 6, 2011
        8:27 pm

        Republicans are Red too

        Lol ya fucked up mister Keating

        seriously you just hates everything that is not a republican white christian american and male

        in other word you hate 90% of the world

        Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 2

        • man has a point
          March 7, 2011
          2:07 am

          He’s got ur number.
          Christweirdos’s why don’t you make a list of all the people you don’t hate? see how narrow it is. Their are 7 billion people on this planet
          only 217,872,000 American Christians.
          so you only believe that 3% of the population are people with the right to exist free of YOUR persecution. and YOUR horrible beliefs based on hate not religion.

          Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 1

          • Millennium
            March 7, 2011
            2:36 am

            not to mention that not all americans are christian Neither so the Number can be much more smaller that written here

            but the Main idea is here

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1

      • Work cited
        March 7, 2011
        1:57 am

        Sources? They don’t need sources…
        Works cited? you got one?

        Instead spending money on marijuana and supporting terrorism.- Last time i check the Taliban deals heroin not pot, but hey what do you care you don’t need the truth.

        If a picture of Reagan isn’t prominently displayed on your desk, you hate America.
        XD

        Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1

        • Millennium
          March 7, 2011
          2:03 am

          so in other word 99% of the american hate america ??? I’m sure not everyone has ronald reagan on their desk

          Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 1

      • Kelsey
        April 3, 2011
        12:12 am

        This is a joke…right?

        Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1

        • Raptor Jesus Raptor Jesus
          April 3, 2011
          12:16 am

          Some of the people here are satirists. There are others who I think may actually mean what they write.

          Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

      • RedScare?
        April 19, 2011
        11:42 am

        RedScare anyone?

        Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

      • Toxic
        April 24, 2011
        4:55 am

        …Amazing troll is amazing. You sir have just made my day. Have a trollface, you deserve it.

        …Also, speaking as a British Red Anarchist, I’m sorry Christwire, I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER MY FREE HEALTHCARE.

        Been dying to say that…

        Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 1

      • Dyl
        April 26, 2011
        10:57 pm

        Im asking this seriously.
        Is this a joke?

        Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

      • wantan`
        June 16, 2011
        1:07 pm

        Funny as fuck.

        Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

      • Polytheist
        June 26, 2011
        10:53 pm

        I’m confused by all of these, but this one bothers me a lot: What’s wrong with the space program?

        Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

      • Sweboys
        November 28, 2011
        5:09 pm

        geez.. u guys are like the Zerg ”Live by the swarm die by the swarm, obey the Overmind”

        Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0