I was recently discussing the implications of third world immigrants on our great economy in relation to the possible salvation of Mexicans with the rest of the Christwire brood when a memo arrived on my desk. It came straight from the top and already had a title. All I had to do was fill in the words.
Charlie Sheen huh? Thanks Tyson. Reagan loves you. You’re a great American. I now present “7 ways Charlie Sheen is ‘Winning’” as his first tweet foretold.
His cavorting with whores will probably get him endorsements
Tiger Woods anyone? The liberal media often initially villainizes such transgressions by their favorite heathen children before praising their actions by giving them millions in endorsement dollars. Somewhere in the godless ranks of advertising executives men are clamoring to glorify such Christless behavior by handing Charlie Nikes and Coca Cola to hold in front of the camera while smiling. Destroying his own life was bad enough, but could the youth of America be next?
The cocaine might help his acting skills
Talentless hacks, such as Robert Downey Jr and the aforementioned Sheen, have always needed cocaine to perform. Great actors like Reagan did their acting high on Jesus. Jews have kicked Jesus out of Hollywood, as if killing him wasn’t enough. Now their God, Charlie’s God, is the cold hard rock of crack. Souls who hold congress with such devils have nothing but hellfire waiting for them after their forthcoming predictable drug addled deaths.
Now that whores are raising his children, he has more time to party
During his latest interviews, two strange young harlots were seen in his company. His claim that they were ’goddesses’ blasphemies, but the fact that he has them raise his children is nothing more than abuse. Any chance they had at a decent Christian life is being destroyed as we speak by the teachings of whores, no doubt while Charlie paints the town red with the blood of a crying Jesus.
Kim Jong Il will certainly have a job waiting for him
His latest demand to be paid for television shows he didn’t even film shows a communistic attitude towards earning money only for what you do, and not stealing it for a half job. His liberal ideals are well known. Maybe when he burns all his bridges on this side of the pacific he can stow away on a slow boat and the Chinese will put him to work.
Playboy will probably want to interview him now
As they do every debaucher as soon as sins are realized. Charlie will most likely take them up on the offer if only to get extra money for more cocaine. A decent reporter like myself has recently sent repeated requests for an interview, all of which have gone unanswered. Is Charlie scared to talk to Christwire? Silence speaks for itself.
Was he hocking a new ‘Major League’ Movie?
In the last interview, many might recognize Charlie outside playing catch wearing a Cleveland Indians jersey. The same jersey he wore in the early nineties when he had a hand in making the most sinful movie about the great American past time that has ever graced the silver screen. Since all Hollywood seems to be able to do is reboot these days, could a second one be in the works? Could that be what this is all about?
His ploy to take Twitter time from Christwire has worked
Sheen set a record by gaining over a million followers on Twitter his first day. Great. Now the liberal rants will never quit. Hopefully law enforcement is monitoring it as well. What better way for old Carlos the Jackal to end this charade than by having his door kicked in and his hippie ideals smashed with a baton after Tweeting “Man, that was some good coke”.
I know what your thinking. You wouldn’t put it passed him. Neither would I.