Is your neighborhood infested with marijuana? Most people don’t know it, but the signs can be right under your nose. Turning to Christwire for answers was a smart move on your part. We are famous for exposing these kinds of evils that face you, the reader, each and every day in your quest for eternal heaven.
Do children ride skateboards?
Such contraptions are a tool used by Satan to entice our youth into a life of drugs and crime. The baggy clothes worn by those who frequent such sin are well known to be used to hide bags of marijuana. If you happen to look out your window and see some of these roughians, also known as ‘skaters’, you can be sure they are trying to peddle the stuff to the local boy scouts and other influential youngsters. Call the police immediately. Your children’s future’s may very well depend on it.
Do your neighbors vote Democrat?
Liberals would legalize marijuana if they had the chance and decent conservative Christians weren’t diligent about voting down their ridiculous propositions every four years. If you notice some of the parents are bringing up liberal leaning ideals at the local PTA meetings, you can be almost sure they are probably high on it. Whenever possible, out them in public. Smell their clothing; does it resemble a college dorm? Are their eyes filled with hatred and the red fire of Satan? Is there a half empty bag of chips laying around somewhere? The basic signs of drug use are all the same and shouldn’t be too hard to spot for the discerning American.
Are your landscapers Mexican?
In Mexico marijuana is freely smoked in the streets by fellows calling themselves ‘banditos’. Some of these hoodlums have made their way to the United States and cut lawns to further support their habit. While you aren’t looking, they are taking breaks and smoking reefer. Maybe even giving it to your daughter in exchange for her virginity and a quick route to a green card and your families bank account numbers. When you see these people pull your children inside immediately and lock the doors. No good can come from mixing up with them.
Do single mothers live on your block?
If they do, it is likely they are cavorting with Satan and smoking marijuana in strange wiccan rituals while the rest of your neighborhood is asleep. The reason they are single with little heathens in the first place is that they are fast women and no decent man would have them. If you allow your children near them, they will probably offer marijuana and sex in return for a little bit of attention, since they can’t get it from anywhere else. How many more news stories like this do we need to see before we open our eyes?
Is there a Wal Mart nearby?
Many people without means shop at Wal Marts, most notably illegal aliens. The workers themselves, apart from the greeters, are often high school drop outs who had to take a menial job pushing a broom because marijuana destroyed their brains. When you mix these two groups together you get a powder keg of sin, and a readily available source of drugs for any innocent child who happens to wonder upon one of their smoking circles. Low prices are not worth what we pay in morals and safety.
Does your local McDonalds stay open all night?
Marijuana users are notorious for wandering the streets at all hours of the night looking for junk food and things to steal, amongst other sins. If your local fast food restaurant stays open late it is because they have received an influx of business to make such a thing profitable. That, in turn, means the hippies have already invaded. Start a neighborhood watch group and keep an eye on these places; anything that comes up missing will most likely pass through sooner or later.
Do you hear rap music blaring from young people’s cars?
Rappers like Sean Puff Doggy Dogg Combs and Little Wayne constantly talk in their music about smoking marijuana cigarettes like they were going out of style. Young people who listen to such things are brainwashed until they themselves are a slave to the marijuana drug. You may notice less teenagers at the youth services for your local church as well. Heathens are scared to enter God’s house when they are high. They know God is watching them.
Has there been a rash of robberies lately?
The most likely cause of robberies in good neighborhoods is little Johnny down the street got hooked on pot and needs money to roll a cigar for him and his buddies from across the tracks. Addicts will steal anything that isn’t nailed down, bring it to the local foreign-ran pawn dealer and, often times, trade it straight across right there in the store for the fix they need. Police sometimes can’t catch them because they cover up their crimes using the Internet. If this is your situation and things have gotten this far, the only options you have are to move or be smote by God with the rest of your neighbors for letting such a thing go on.
Do Foreigners live next door?
People from other countries usually have devious intentions in mind when it comes to America. Most of them involve drugs and using revenue from them to send back to their countries to bring more of them over here. The funny smells you notice coming from their homes that you may mistake for curry is in reality their own special strain of marijuana. These smells entice children. It is probably the same way Little Johnny from the previous paragraph went bad.
Have you answered yes to any of these questions? It may already be too late. I hear Idaho is nice this time of year.