• Blacks Invent New Zipper Hairstyle

    March 26, 2011 8:24 am 49 comments

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    Say what you will about my good friends the black community people, but they sure do enjoy life.  It must be really fun being a black, because somewhere down in their genes they have the ability to turn off regimented sense of time and responsibility.  They can just lay back and that’s pretty neat.

    It’s nothing like white people.  When we wake up in the morning, we brush our teeth and take a bath.  We have to worry about paying bills on time and if the kids have the cars in the driveway, blocking our way from the garage to go to work.  There is so much to balance like eating proper, non-greasy foods and where to go for next vacation.

    The Mexicans are actually not much different.  They have big hugs and big families.  Though many of them sneak here illegally, there are some proper ones but they keep those same family-centered habits that leads to their litter children family.  They have them at least 6 at a time.  The Asians are disciplined too.   Just look at Japan.  The nation has rebuilt many roads and they pull together nicely in a time of crisis.

    But the blacks.  Just look at Africa.  The people there are so carefree, they still let their women walk around with flapping milksacks and everyone gets the same haircut.  They just sit in the dirt and wait for us to bring them some food or hunt it themselves.  You can see when we even go over for Safari, they don’t even built any roads for us to drive on!

    These are great, carefree people who love to eat their greasy chickens and sweet pies, then not worry it will ruin their heart with blood pressure issues and sugar diabetes of the, beta pancreatic cells.  They don’t worry about sciences, just appearances and fun.

    So it should be no surprise to see these people have unveiled yet another hairstyle.  They call this one “The Zipper”.  When they go to their barbers, they just say ‘give me an zipper do’ and presto, the barber will cut it.

    Zipper Hairstyle The Zippa (Zipper in properly American enunciations)

    Let’s not forget a few months ago, they created the Merrydoo Christmas.  This powered the economy in many urban areas and gave many chocolate smiles over Christmas because the community college salon mommies were able to buy their children some gifts. 

     - The “Merrydoo Christmas

    A few years ago, another one they made that was very popular is the flat top helmet.  Many celebrity blacks still use this one, like the King Steve Harley and even Will Smith.

    unknown flat topped afroUnknown Afro with Flat Top

     -Will Smith with Flat Top

    This is just a small look into the classic and rich culture of the African Americans.  As with every group, there are some rebels who want to grow their hair out long and listen to heavy metal.   They love to whip long hair around and listen to the devil’s music.  Now for blacks, this was not possible for a long time because they can only grow puffs of hair, resulting in their name “Afro” Americans or Afros when they are unclaimed and just from unknown places.

    When researching if the blacks can grow long hair, I came across a new company created by a man named Eriq Lasalle.  He owns a company that is named Soul Glows and they sell hair product that makes a black man’s hair like a juiced Mexicans.  It is a dripping Afro.

     - Eric LaSalle, CEO of Soul Glows

    You can tell Michael Jackson must have been affiliated with him because the hair stylings are the same.

     - Michael Jackson with Soul Glows Hair

    Now as we all know, Michael Jackson’s hair tragically caught on fire during a commercial and too bad it didn’t remind him that God loves us for who were are, not what we put in our hair.

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    Abe If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack. Follow me on twitters. Poke me as your New Friend on Facebook!!

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