• Can Castrating Atheists Save the US Economy, Justin Beiber and End Male Baldness?

    March 3, 2011 3:05 am 50 comments
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  • Painting of Jupitar getting snipped.

    The foundation of America’s success, the protestant work ethic, is under siege by the Atheist sloth-ethic. The hard work and success of evangelical and protestant citizens are not only a testament to their faith and personal salvation, but the shining jewel of a graced nation and healthy economy. When our work ethic is diminished with socialist dogma, we plunge deeply into the chasm of disgrace, high unemployment and low GNP. Castration is one option, already embraced by liberals and the computer industry, which also has the benefit of possibly restoring the economy, ending baldness in men and improving the US work ethic beyond that of our European cousins.

    Liberals and Apple Computer Support Castration

    Alan Turing, one of the first creators of the computer as we see it today was a talented mathematician whose work included the development of Artificial Intelligence. He worked in code cracking at the UK’s notorious Bletchley Park. His work was pivotal to the creation of the “Enigma” code breaking machine. He was also named as one of the world’s 100 most influential persons of the 20th century by Time Magazine. He is listed as the second most influential Princeton alumni. He also practiced chemical castration. Unable to come to terms with charges of homosexuality levied against him by the British government in 1952, he committed suicide with a cyanide-laced poisoned apple two years later. The apple on the Apple computer, illuminated in acid green with a single byte removed is testament of the firm’s support of the voluntary chemical castration Turing popularized and the enduring distain all Americans share for Europeans.

    Liberals support castration. Sex change or gender reassignment operations , now widely performed, are included in ObamaCare and include voluntary castration as part of the procedure. While the full procedure does not stop at castration, liberal and atheists enthusiasm for the medical procedure is steadfast. All persons undergoing such a procedure are atheists as they themselves define their bodies to the secular earth and without heavenly soul for salvation.

    Beiber and the Cure for Baldness

    According to scientific research into the benefits and effects of castration, baldness is cured with castration. For the vanity of atheist hipsters this is revelatory freedom that can be transformed to voluntary castration. All eunuchs have a full head of hair their entire lives. The castrati were forever young voiced angels, provided treasures for their families and added beauty to the world. The purchase and trade of castrato created an economic market that elevated many in Europe at the time.

    More than a Fan of the Castrati, The Beibs

    The interwebs are rife with careless whispers regarding one popstar with a luxurious mane. Armored with knowledge of the hair loss abatement the truth becomes clear. Justin Beiber is one of the castrati.

    In many of the pictures he poses with the “scissors” a sign of this forever young man’s content with his fate. Unlike the castrato of the past, the Beiber’s procedure was done under anesthesia, blessed by the socialist medicine of Canada and his chances of survival were greater than the 10% enjoyed by Europeans of the middle ages.

    Castration and the Economy

    The failure of European countries, such as France, revolves around a godless more secular “big government” of socialism, intrusive regulations and mandated month-long vacations in August. These atheists’ sloth concepts are very foreign to Americans who embody the protestant principles of thrift, discipline, hard work, and individualism. Historically, these same countries practiced castration of servants, work-staff and enemies and concurrently enjoyed a robust, thriving economy.

    Balding atheists possess comparatively short attention spans and still tend to exhibit a need to reproduce between periods of sloth and daydreams. Both issues of attention deficit and reproductive imperative lend credence to the diminishing protestant work ethic and lead to castration as a possible solution. While many of the atheists’ spawn will no longer be flushed by the defunded parenthood planning, further exploration into the root cause is prudent and potentially economically sound.

    The full scale, involuntary castration of grown men is ludicrous and does not provide the benefits of early castration. Addressing the vanity of atheist parents towards their children and fit examples in popular culture, such as Justin Beiber, make incorporation of a voluntary practice much easier for future domination of the protestant work ethic and bringing about economic growth. The hair replacement and male pattern baldness dependent industries can be transformed by a castration economy. Because breast formation is possible with castration, the “man-ziere” will open new markets 15-20 years from inception.

    Pretty in Rosewood, an elegant collection

    Diminished aggression, another benefit of castration, means no need for unions and fewer police, which in turn requires less taxes and greater productivity as well as employment. It is an idea that supports all the American people need to be strong and successful once again on the world stage. It is possible, with the voluntary cooperation from those that need it most and prove themselves deserving success. The above picture was taken from an Ebay offering an elegant rosewood inlay castration implements set. Perhaps some atheist has already reasoned this future and voluntarily accepted it.


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    About The Author
    Blanche Beecham "Blanche Beecham lends a soft, learned hand to the fourth estate with incite-full investigations on diverse topics such as Politics, Love, and Lifestyle. Her many years experience as a wife, mother, ladies book club president and financial auditor make her well suited to ferreting out the truth and giving it a sound shake." - Rev. Jackson Lee Whitebelley, Publisher and Editor of "The Incubator" - Follow me on Twitter! @BLANCHEBEECHAM

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