• Gaddafi Threatens to Imprison Facebook Users, Facebook Shutting Down March 15

    March 15, 2011 4:36 am Comments Off

    During a recent press conference, defiant Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi brandished his vile finger and angered reporters to the point that they performed deadly Arabian shoe throws upon him

    Gaddafi spoke boldly about his dedication to hold power, upsetting the reporters who sat in on his press conference.

     “I will stay in Libya until I die,” Gadaffi smugly proclaimed to all reporters.  He then went on to say he will go as far as limiting the freedom of Libyan press and chain those who dare report bad things against him. 

    “I am not such a dictator that I would shut down Facebook. I’ll merely imprison anyone who logs in to it,” he told sitting journalists. 

    Gadaffi feels Facebook is a threat because it provides a platform for Libyans to connect and share a unified message to the world.  Due to this, Gaddafi maintains he ‘will crush’ anyone who plots against him and if he catches anyone using Facebook, he will have them imprisoned in one of his much feared torture prisons.

    The dictator’s threats did not sit well with the Libyan populace.  Many citizens openly protested and the reporters, perhaps risking their lives, threw shoes at Gadaffi to show ultimate disapproval.  Throwing a shoe at someone is a major sign of anger and distaste in Persian-Arab culture.

    As Gadaffi continues to reign bombs and unleashed military upon his own civilians, newest military reports reveal the dictator is shoreing up control of oil rich regions and cities, while giving his military a free arm to dispose of any rebel towns and use ‘whatever force necessary’ to clear out

    Saturday, the Arab League voted on supporting a no-fly zone over Libya in an effort to prevent Gaddafi from launching airstrikes against civilians.

    The Libyan military is now taking control of key Libyan oil producing cities and pushing back the rebel forces, many of whom are running out of ammunition and asking America to intercede.  There is no official word yet from the Obama administration or UN officials on how global forces will respond to Gaddafi’s massacre of Libya’s people.

    In a statement of free will and support of Libya, let’s call Gaddafi out on a few things.  Gaddafi cannot destroy revolution, he can only prolong the inevitable.  The “Guide of Revolution and Brother in Love” should understand such things.  When one has to resort to bombing protestors into oblivion, something is wrong.  When you have to fear things like Facebook destabilizing your rule, something is wrong.  Gaddafi’s kleenex empire will tear and it is only a matter of time before we nail him while he sleeps in his tent. 

    We still do have freedom of speech and what better way to use it now than to say, DC and UN, let’s help out Libya.  Sure, our oil prices are high and we cannot buy that extra pizza or maybe even that new flat screen HDTV due to prices at the pump.  But, we can oust a dictator and bring freedom to the Libyan people; let’s help them.  Let’s bring them freedom.

    Let’s also talk about Gaddafi on Facebook.  The dictator is a breed that will soon be extinct.  President George W. Bush helped hunt down a bad one and Gaddafi’s days will be numbered.

    Here are some fun pictures of Gaddafi to share on Facebook.  He needs to be called out on his clothing, since he probably tortures anyone who calls him out on looking like a Twilight-vampire bitten zebra, glimmering under the sunlight and permed mane flowing gallantly in the desert sun.  That’s all to say Gaddafi’s clothing fashion is almost as distasteful as his rule, sans the human right’s violation parts.

    The Emperor Has Some Crazy Clothes: The Style of Muammar Gaddafi Over the years, the 'Brother Leader' has cultivated a collection of bizarre ensembles.
    Here, Gaddafi models off what looks to be a curtain stolen from a grandmother’s frontroom window.  If we were to throw in several chique 1970s era lamps, some crush velvet furniture and let the Bee Gees ring loud from the record player, we’d find Gaddafi’s curtain dress right in its prime time period.
    The Emperor Has Some Crazy Clothes: The Style of Muammar Gaddafi Over the years, the 'Brother Leader' has cultivated a collection of bizarre ensembles.
    With a noble’s face of constipation, a stiff Gadaffi models off a stylish white dictator suit and Africa continental pin.  The colonel is also letting his Soul Glow, showing a taste for decent films about prince’s who come to America.  Maybe Gaddafi’s anger issues could be solved by finding a nice small business heiress in Queens.
    The Emperor Has Some Crazy Clothes: The Style of Muammar Gaddafi Over the years, the 'Brother Leader' has cultivated a collection of bizarre ensembles.
    Precious pernacious in purple, Gadaffi strikes a catty pose to show off his regal feline arches and tendency to hiss when angered.  The outfit indicates that through his headphones, Gadaffi may be enjoying some hits of Prince’s hit Purple Rain album.  Or maybe he’s a fan of the lollipop guild, considering his face has the bite of someone who just swallowed a salty load.  He is an eccentric, so it’s all possible.
    The Emperor Has Some Crazy Clothes: The Style of Muammar Gaddafi Over the years, the 'Brother Leader' has cultivated a collection of bizarre ensembles.
    Cute in his snuggie, Gaddafi speaks to henchman number 3 in this photo from 2004.  In the background, you can see one of Gaddafi’s famous tent homes (the type Reagan tried to bomb him within 1986) and in the foreground, you can see a underling who likely angered Gaddafi by not adding enough sugar to his tea or complimenting his master choise of brown and black to accentuate his Spacely sprocketing hair, dramatically racing from under a cap.  Much like Idi Amin, Gaddafi is likely bipolar and holds little regard for staff.
    The Emperor Has Some Crazy Clothes: The Style of Muammar Gaddafi Over the years, the 'Brother Leader' has cultivated a collection of bizarre ensembles.
    Meeting with Libya’s former Italian overlords, Gaddafi takes special time to adorn his military jacket with Omar Mukhtar, who was one of the first Libyan resistance fighters hanged by Italian forces in 1931.  The whole symbolism loses its meaning and becomes schlocky when you remember this sultan-wanna be shmuck has bombed his people all this week, making them martyrs like the poster boy he’s brandishing on his fine and colorful suit.
    The Emperor Has Some Crazy Clothes: The Style of Muammar Gaddafi Over the years, the 'Brother Leader' has cultivated a collection of bizarre ensembles.
    Do an experiment.  Go buy vats of syrup or gorilla glue.  Then, go buy several glittering Japanese geishas and top them with sequins, hand picked by Sir Elton John and the butterfly happiness gang.  When all is said and done, go ahead and buy some fake fool’s gold watches from your local thrift store or alley drug dealer, then have someone with a bad perm roll around in your mixture.  Congratulations!  You are an advanced scientist who cloned Gaddafi, at least in phenotypic appearance.
    Don’t forget the plastic gold handheld flame, it adds a touch of class and urbane refinement.
    The Emperor Has Some Crazy Clothes: The Style of Muammar Gaddafi Over the years, the 'Brother Leader' has cultivated a collection of bizarre ensembles.
    When Lucas does his next gimmicky exploitation of the Star Wars franchise, he should use computer technology to edit Gaddafi into the rebel fight scene.  He could stand alongside Palpatine and Vader, his long black cape dramatically flowing in the wind, flapping in the tyrannous zephyrs like only a villain’s clothing could do.  It may seem outlandish, but so is showing up to a meeting of the world’s leaders wearing a netted silk movie cape.
    The Emperor Has Some Crazy Clothes: The Style of Muammar Gaddafi Over the years, the 'Brother Leader' has cultivated a collection of bizarre ensembles.
    Another curtain outfit on display, there has to be a poor old woman who is going into a-fib, thinking an old spirt is haunting her hause and stealing her curtains.  Gaddafi also has a weekend at Bernie’s thing going on, with the stoic staring into the crowd and oblviouis to the fact that something funny is taking place in front of Chavez.
    There we have it, a running start to ragging on the raggy.   Somewhere in the world of news, we have a responsibility to be a voice to those who are being muzzled by oppression and tyranny.
    The cold hand of a dictator may be gripping his public’s mouth, but we can speak for them.  There are serious things to consider:  Gaddafi is literally commiting genocide upon his civilians and our hands are tied with now Japan and before, our petty clamoring and economy.  His day will come soon enough.
    At least until then, we can use Facebook to endlessly torment him about his clothing and then, make sure we remind our leaders that he must be in line for a bombing.
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    Jerry Cohen JP Cohen

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