• God Attacking Japan Because Of Tentacle Porn, 4chan

    March 13, 2011 5:09 am 26 comments

    First there was the earthquake. One of the five biggest that has ever been recorded in history. Then the tsunami came, destroying the coastal cities and killing possibly thousands. Now there are explosions at nuclear plants. There is no doubt Japan is being smote.

    I wouldn’t be surprised if these were only the first three of seven plagues to be cast upon them.  The question has never been ‘if’ God would smite them, merely what for and how  often. Here are a few reasons Japan is being smote as we speak.

    Terrorists?

    Pearl Harbor: As Mentioned earlier on Christwire.

    Tentacle Porn:

    The underground cartoon pornography industry in Japan has long had a reputation for sickening material. In them, women are depicted having intercourse with octopus like creatures. Not shockingly, many liberals find this type of stuff ok for their children to watch so it has gained a foothold in the United States as of late. Many Christians have been praying for retribution and this may finally be it. God works in strange ways.

    The Fast and the Furious 3: Tokyo Drift

    In this movie, an American kid moves to Japan. The racist Japanese mock him relentlessly. The entire movie is about how the Japanese culture is so much stronger than ours and how they can push us around whenever they want. They were warned by several churches against making this movie, yet did it anyways. Admittedly, alone it is probably not enough to warrant a full seven plagues, but when mixed with the rest of the list it becomes just one more violation in a series of Anti-Christian moves.

    4chan

    The underground hacker website Christwire exposed in the past is well known for using Japanese themes in their hacking activities and for heathen masturbatory purposes. Who knows what they are up to? Maybe they finally went too far and swift punishment came down upon their heroes. Whatever they did, God seen it and is now punishing their kin.

    Lack of Christianity

    More than 80% of their population is not Christian. Despite many attempts to save their souls, nothing has worked. Mixed with the other sins a flood of Biblical proportions could only be expected by anyone who has ever read the Bible. We can only wait to see if God will finish them off or spare them with one last chance to turn to salvation.

    Our hearts go out to those Christians who are trapped in Japan. We can only hope the heathens in that country see the light soon, before they are wiped completely off the map.

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    About The Author
    Alex Keating Alex K. Keating is a presidential hopeful currently seeking the Republican nomination. His likes include Fox News, Ronald Reagen , and exposing Communism. Fan mail can be sent to AlexKKeating@yahoo.com.

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